


Georgia On My Mind

by xoelectric



Series: Georgia On My Mind [1]
Category: Blake Shelton (Musician), Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Gwen Stefani - Fandom, Shefani, The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-05
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:21:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 194,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoelectric/pseuds/xoelectric
Summary: Georgia, you know that you've been on my mindGeorgia, we've both learned to compromiseI'll be there for youWhen everybody's coming ungluedI'll be there for youI won't say you have to choose
I dont want to let you goAnd I dont want to lose you slowlyI just want to let you knowThat it's only just a little back and forth lately





	1. Compromise

She never thought in her lifetime that she would move away from California. But then again, a lot of things in her life hadn’t worked out the way she had originally planned.

It had already been six months since she had picked up her life and got on a plane with her son Apollo to move across the country, fresh on the heels of divorce. Divorce was such a dirty word, one that elicited pity and carefully calculated reactions, and Gwen was over it. She hated living in the same city as her ex-husband, even though it was Los Angeles and quite large. She hated the fact that she left her parents behind in Anaheim to start this new journey. It all happened so quickly that she barely had time to process everything before she found herself on a plane and through the doors of her new apartment. 

The job promotion truly wasn’t one that she could have passed up, either. Gwen took pride in the fact that she was regarded as one of the most creative associate designers at LUSH GROUP, one of her all-time favorite fashion labels. The company had various offices in larger cities throughout the US, and may different divisions and labels underneath them. Though she was already working in one of the main offices in LA as an associate designer, the opportunity arose in Atlanta for Gwen to take on a junior designer role that could eventually lead to a senior designer role at headquarters in New York City. She was thrilled over the thought of one day being able to have full autonomy over releasing collections and deciding final approval, but in the meantime she knew she had to work her way up into that position. They were hard jobs to get, but a move to the east coast would definitely bode well for her on that front. 

Life wasn’t so bad in Atlanta, either. She had settled in, and even though it got unbearably hot at times, she enjoyed the fact that there was less traffic and friendly people. Southern accents were becoming the norm throughout her day, and Apollo seemed to be adjusting well to daycare. Plus, her ex-husband was three thousand miles away in a completely different time zone. She really couldn’t have asked for anything more.

“Gwen!” someone called out all of a sudden, pulling her back to reality. Her head snapped over to look at the person standing and hovering over her low cubicle wall whom she immediately recognized as Lizzy, the executive assistant to the senior designer that she worked for, and also her friend. 

“Lizzy!” Gwen called back in an equally excited tone to mimic her, giggling a little. 

“Grace needs your edits on these sketches by the end of next week so she can FedEx them to the New York Office,” she said, handing a portfolio of various sketches to the her. Her hand grasped them immediately as she began sifting through them. God, she couldn’t wait to be the one that got to create all of these on her own one day. 

“That I can manage,” Gwen said with a smile, as she spread them out on the large surface adjacent to her desk. She snatched her glasses from her keyboard and turned her back to Lizzy to begin examining them. She delicately held her pencil as she added shading to the sketches to get a better idea of how the pieces would pop and work together. She was fully aware that Lizzy was still standing behind her after she had been at it for a few minutes, she had gotten lost in her sketches again, and she slowly turned in her chair and raised an eyebrow at her. 

“Was there something else doll?” she asked, a smirk playing across her features. 

“Yes, I am also here to inform you that you have plans tonight!”

“Plans?” Gwen questioned, raising her eyebrow again. “What kind of plans?” Her tone was incredulous, mostly because Lizzy always seemed like that one that was trying to get her into some kind of trouble. 

“Well I told you my husband works at the radio station, right? There’s this huge music festival tonight and he scored us front row VIP and you absolutely must come. It’s a requirement and a condition of your employment, actually,” Lizzy teased, which cause Gwen to laugh.

“Music festival? Oh geez. I’m sure my 2 1/2 year old son would love that,” she rolled her eyes, indicating that there was no way in hell she would have been able to find someone to watch Apollo in that amount of time. Besides, she hadn’t left Apollo alone with a babysitter since before the divorce, and she wasn’t sure if that was something that she would even consider doing at this point. 

“That’s why we’ve arranged for you to leave Apollo with our babysitter tonight!” Lizzy gleefully replied. This girl really did think of everything. “Come on, Gwen. Our sitter is fantastic and I’m sure my sons would love to have someone to play with tonight. I promise it will be a good time. Sydney is coming, too, and like I said it’s basically a requirement that you come with us!”

Gwen sighed, going back and forth in her mind about everything. She really was turning into an old lady these past six months - she never went out, she was always hyper-focused on Apollo and his needs, and she was getting a little stir crazy. Plus, Lizzy was a great time and Sydney was the other junior designer at the Atlanta office that she got along pretty well with. As if on cue, Sydney strolled up to Gwen’s desk and looked between the two of them.

“Have you convinced her to come yet?” Sydney asked, a huge grin on her face. She took one look at Gwen and her expression faltered. “Oh come on, Gwen! You never go out with us! When’s the last time you did something for yourself? I mean, Lizzy took care of childcare and everything…” she was nagging her on. Gwen was double teamed, and outnumbered at that.

She huffed a little. “What -kind- of music festival is this?” she asked pointedly, already feeling as if she knew the answer.

“Well…” Lizzy started, looking at Sydney and then back to Gwen. 

“Country music, I see,” Gwen said, laughing a bit and shaking her head.

“Gwen Stefani don’t you dare knock country music. You were over here belting out Shania Twain last week and I fully believe you are more into it than you’re letting us believe!”

“I seriously doubt that!” she laughed, as Lizzy pulled a sheet of paper out of her pocket. 

“There’s at least 20 huge name artists playing this festival Gwen, you have to know someone,” she started, as she began reading the list. “Carrie Underwood…? Florida Georgia Line? George Strait? Blake Shelton?” she named a few more, but all Gwen could do was shake her head in response.

“Nada,” she replied, shrugging her shoulders. “Does Taylor Swift count?”

Lizzy and Sydney both gave a look to one another that more than answered Gwen’s impending question. “Hooookay then, guess that’s a no,” she said, laughing a bit. 

“There is unlimited free alcohol and live music. What else do you need?” Sydney asked.

She thought about it for a moment. The guilt came to her as she thought about leaving Apollo with a sitter she had never met, but Lizzy was a very trustworthy friend and she did trust her with her child. Sydney would have held it against her for the rest of time if she had passed up the opportunity that Lizzy’s husband scored for them. Her eyes fell on the sketches that she was supposed to be working on, she scrunched her face a bit, and looked back over to the two very excited and overly hopeful girls she had come to call her friends over the last few months.

“Fine. You win. What time do we have to leave?”

——

Five hours later, Gwen found herself at the doorstep of Lizzy’s home with an adorable Apollo bouncing on her hip. Lizzy was quick to usher the two of them inside, and introductions were made all around the room between Lizzy’s husband, the sitter, and her kids. Her nerves were at an all time high but she kept reminding herself that it was going to have to happen eventually, she was going to leave Apollo in someone else’s care and that had to be okay. Lizzy grabbed her purse with one hand, her husband’s hand in the other, and pointed out the front door. “Sydney is going to meet us there, so that means it’s time to go!” she said excitedly, as she kissed her two kids on the head and began to walk out the door.

Apollo was sitting on the ground with some toy cars around him and he seemed to be perfectly content and occupied. Gwen bit her lip and kneeled down to his level, ruffling his hair back as she kissed her baby on the forehead. “Momma loves you, Pollo,” Gwen whispered, as she found it hard to physically tear herself away and force herself out the door. Once she closed the door to Lizzy’s home, she heard the sitter lock it behind her and she took a deep breath.

“Aww, come on, mom, it’ll be okay,” Lizzy reassured her, squeezing her hand a bit. “I promise he will have fun tonight and he is in great hands.” Gwen nodded, and the three of them walked over to the large truck sitting in the driveway.

“I just haven’t left him alone with anyone since…” Gwen began, but changed direction in the middle of her sentence. She wasn’t going to let him invade her thoughts tonight. “Since I moved here, you know? It’s still weird being this far from California.” 

It wasn’t soon before long that they arrived at the outdoor music park and met up with Sydney at the gates. Hugs were had all around and as soon as they got through security, the four of them wound up at the open bar in the VIP tent areas. Gwen took a glass of wine, sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of beers, but she didn’t care. That wine was going to taste amazing to her tonight. 

“Cheers, cheers, cheers!” Sydney exclaimed, throwing back a few swigs of the beer as she began swaying to whatever music was the current background noise. Gwen started sipping on her wine, and soon she was taking a second glass as they made their way out into the general areas. Since Gwen had no idea anything that was going on, or even who all was playing, she left the decisions up to the other three as to what stages to head to and where to go.

“Blake Shelton is such a hottie, we definitely need to make our way over to his stage to get a close spot,” Lizzy commented, as her husband shot her a look. “Sorry, hubby, I still love you but that’s the truth!” Gwen giggled a bit at the two of them as she watched them together. They were such an interesting couple because Lizzy was this force of nature and overly excited person, which was a stark contrast to the quiet, reserved, barely-said-two-words-since-we’ve-been-here type of guy her husband was. Opposites attract, was the best she could guess. But they were adorable, and it secretly made her long for something like that again. 

“They’re sickening, aren’t they?” Sydney whispered to Gwen jokingly, eyeing the two of them.

“Yeah, they are. But you’ve got to admit they’re pretty cute together,” Gwen shrugged with a smile, taking another long sip of her wine. 

Little did she know then how much that one decision she made to join her friends that night would change her life.


	2. Shine Tonight

“You’re a tiny little thing, but you can sure hold your alcohol.”

For some reason, this statement was hilariously amusing to Gwen the moment it left Sydney’s lips. She rolled her eyes and giggled a bit before responding. “Oh please, this is only my third glass of wine. And you’re one to talk, Miss Size-2 with her third beer,” she said pointedly, before nudging Sydney with her shoulder and laughing again.

“They teach us to drink hard in the South, sweetie, but you’re just a little Cali girl. I’m impressed!” Lizzy chimed in as she took another drink of her beer. And honestly, Gwen was impressed with herself, too. With everything that had happened with her ex-husband and how she soon found herself in the camp of being a single mom, alcohol was definitely not high on her priority list. She was shocked that her tolerance hadn’t completely disappeared. She was smart enough to know that she had to pace herself as to not end up tipsy or completely drunk, but for now it felt good. Just a dull roar of a buzz.

The four of them were standing front row, left of center at the main stage in the middle of the music park. Gwen forgot what it was like to be at a concert, it had literally been years since she had been out like this and it felt so magical. The huge crowd of people behind them had so much energy, albeit they were a different type of crowd than what she ever thought she’d be a part of. It was a crowd covered in flannel and cowboy boots, with the scent of beer and fried foods lingering in the air. It was so foreign, but also strangely homey and comforting. Perhaps for the first time since she had been in the city, there was just something about this night that made her feel like she was somewhat at home.

Screams from the crowd soon erupted as the lights went out and the background music started to build up suspenseful music, which she knew would ultimately end in the culmination of the main act coming on stage. Gwen wrinkled her forehead a bit as she looked over to Sydney, about to say something, but the next second later…

“OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! IT’S BLAKE FREAKING SHELTON!!” Sydney was screaming, jumping up and down as she waved her beer in the air. Well, that answered her question, even though someone could have probably told her the guy on stage was named Frank Zickefoose and she would have believed them. “BLAKE FREAKING SHELTON IS RIGHT THERE, GWEN!” Sydney screamed again, shaking Gwen’s arm excitedly to get her attention and pointing at the stage to where one tall, cowboy figure was walking out onto the stage.

Gwen was laughing and holding onto the barricade as both Sydney, Lizzy, and the entire female population in the crowd started freaking out. Apparently, she was the only one with chill right that second, though she literally had no idea what she was in for. The lights hit the stage as the tall singer became visible for the first time, which could have possibly been enough to knock her off her feet had she not been clinging onto the barricade in front of her.

_Whoa._

The banjo began to play followed in by the background guitar as Blake smiled to the crowd, giving a quick wave before launching into the lyrics of his first song. Plenty of people were still screaming over the excitement of him taking the stage, including her two crazy friends as they began to scream every lyric right along with him. Gwen laughed as she looked between the two of them, thinking that she was either the luckiest person in the world or the most cursed to have those two crazies as her friends. Lizzy’s husband mostly stood back, playing the cool card as his wife went crazy and he was enjoying his beer. 

Gwen was awkwardly stuck in the middle, as she enjoyed the live music but had absolutely no idea about the songs being played. The base sound of the country music genre was starting to become the norm, and was even something she had grown accustomed to swaying back and forth to. Her impression of country music growing up had always been that the songs were about girlfriends leaving, dogs dying, and boys playing in the mud, but this sounded different. Sure, it was country to its core, but not at all as bad as she thought. She grinned at the thought as Lizzy and Sydney both grabbed one of Gwen’s arms from each side of her and began to make her sway back and forth with them to the song, laughing as they did so.

After a few songs, Blake seemed to start to pull to the left of the stage right in front of where Gwen and her friends were standing. As he finished up his third song, he started making remarks to the crowd about how amazing they all were for coming out and how they were going to party hard that Friday night, country style. She smiled a little at this as she still felt so weird for her to even be out. 

“BLAKE SHELTON COME HAVE MY BABIEEEESSSS!” a suddenly very drunk Sydney screamed from one side of Gwen, as Gwen threw her hand over her mouth in shock. Blake made a curious face and looked down into the crowd as Sydney was jumping up and down trying to get his attention. 

“Wow, uh, that’s quite the proposal,” Blake quipped, obviously not very comfortable with handling that type of attention. Gwen could have sworn he saw him blush just slightly. “But, uh, I think I’ll have to pass on that one unfortunately, I’ve still got a whole lot of a concert to play here.” 

He laughed it off and tipped his head at Sydney in appreciation, and just as he began looking away he caught a glimpse of Gwen out of the corner of his eye. His head snapped back immediately without him realizing it, locking eyes with the blonde. Gwen froze, as it seemed like an hour that their eyes were staring into one another. It seemed to get too intense for Blake, or he just snapped out of it, as he shyly looked down to break his gaze off of her before quickly stealing another glance at Gwen and giving her a small smile before moving his guitar back up on his shoulder. 

“I’ll go ahead and start this next one right here. It’s called Sangria,” Blake announced to the crowd, as he began to strike the beginning chords on the guitar. 

_You're crashing into me like waves on the coast  
Every time we talk, you move in close_

His eyes snapped back over to Gwen, searching for her gaze. He smiled as he continued singing, right at her.

 _I don't want you to stop, I don't want you to stop tonight_  
_We've got the last two glasses on a straw hut bar_  
_Trying to remember what number we are_  
_String of white lights making your eyes shine tonight_

Sydney was too drunk to notice anything happening, but Lizzy snapped her gaze over to Gwen immediately once she saw what was happening. “Oh my god, Gwen, he is staring at you so hard he’s burning a hole in you!”

Gwen couldn’t think enough to form a response, as she just seemed to mesmerized by the cowboy in front of her. Occasionally, she noticed Blake was forcing himself to look elsewhere, but Gwen always seemed to be the center as he would come back to her on almost every song. She had to be imagining things, right? There’s no way that this was actually happening, it must have been too much wine or too many fairytale stories suddenly crowding her head, the horrible effects of those blue eyes piercing into her just once…

She was pulled back into reality as soon as she felt her two friends shaking at her from both sides. Blake was talking over the microphone again but she hadn’t even paid attention to the words.

“You know, that’s one thing us guys don’t understand sometimes about you women,” he was continuing on his spiel about something. “Women just love to dance and you know the guys usually just can’t be bothered. And then even when the guys give in, they suck at it because they don’t put any passion into it at all - they’re just trying to do their duty and get it over with, and I right?” The crowd was cheering, laughing, and hollering along with him on this monologue. 

“I mean, guys, come on. I know your girlfriends and wives probably dragged you here and you don’t want to be listening to some old guy like me singing these songs, but I’m going to be your best friend right now and show you how it’s done. I think I’m going to need one of the ladies in the crowd who’s real good at dancing to come up here so I can show you what to do that’ll just make them fall head over heels for you…”

Before she knew it, Blake was standing right in front of her on the stage, arm extended down to Gwen in the crowd, with a big huge grin plastered on his face. Lizzy and Sydney were going crazy and pushing Gwen to get up there, but her expression and her body were both completely frozen in shock. Eventually, something came over her, or perhaps it was just the strength of the bodyguard on the other side of the barricade that was able to grab her by the waist and lift her up on stage, as she grabbed Blake’s hand just before her feet touched the ground. Blake led her by the hand to the center of the stage as he talked into the microphone once again. 

“Come on, guys,” he called back to the band. “Play something smooth and slow.”

Blake’s eyes fell onto Gwen as he was able to take her in fully for the first time - beyond just seeing her gorgeous face in the crowd. He took a deep, nervous breath as he stepped towards her, bent forward a bit, and spoke in her ear. “I hope you don’t mind…may I have this dance?”

Gwen smiled from ear to ear as she got lost in his blue eyes, not meaning to, but blushing immediately once she realized what an idiot she must have looked like in that moment. Blake placed a hand on her waist, respectfully, of course, with the other holding her hand as he pulled her in closer. He swayed her back and forth with the instrumental music in the background, and all Gwen could do was follow along, trying to block out the fact that she had hundreds of people staring at her on this bright stage and oh my god, what was even happening? She felt Blake pull his hand off of her waist as he brought the other up to spin her around, catching her on the tail end of the turn and continuing to dance with her for a few moments. He stopped suddenly, speaking into the microphone once again.

“See guys? Nothing to it. Just suck it up for the ladies in your life, and they’re sure to love it.” Blake looked back to Gwen and flashed her a smile, and she literally felt her heart stop as she was frozen in place. Suddenly, she felt security tap at her ankle from below indicating that they wanted to pull her off the stage. She obliged, as she felt Blake hold her hand steady as security plucked her off the stage and back over the barricade. 

Blake launched into another song right after Gwen was back in her spot, which Gwen would come to know later as My Eyes. She listened to the lyrics carefully, their eyes locking every so often and huge smiles shared between them. 

The rest of the concert was some kind of blissful blur. She didn’t even fully comprehend what had happened, still had no idea what Blake was talking about, but the fact that he stopped his show to pull her on stage to get a chance to dance with her - that only happens in movies. Surely, it just had to have been part of his show, right? There wasn’t anything going on there. He was a tall, handsome cowboy but really, she needed to get her head out of the clouds.

But then why was there something that beckoned her from deep within? Why couldn’t she shake this off?

It was way too soon when Blake announced that it was his last song for the night, and Gwen couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness wash over her as she watched him start a song for one last time. It was over so quickly and before she knew it, Blake was taking a bow and handed his guitar off to the tech on the side of the stage to head off for good. Gwen took a deep breath in and let it out, looking behind her at her two friends, both of which were giving her accusatory looks.

“Gwen Stefani, you are still BLUSHING!” Lizzy teased, nudging at her.

“Oh my god, no I’m not!” Gwen snapped back, laughing along with her. “I mean, please, as if. It was just part of his show, I’m sure. I was convenient and in the front row, and it was either me or drunk _Blake-Shelton-Make-Babies-With-Me_ Sydney over there.” She laughed again and shook her head. 

————  
Blake stepped off the stage after the last song and stopped dead in his tracks. The crowd was still cheering and carrying on after the final song ended and the lights came back up, and it was usually his favorite feeling in the world on the tail end of a concert. However, that night was different. That night, there was this weird sinking feeling he felt in the pit of his stomach. The feeling of potentially letting an opportunity slip away if he didn’t take action immediately.

“Great show, Blake!” John, one of the guitar techs, commented as he came backstage behind him. 

“Dude, I need your help,” Blake said, almost panicked. “There’s…there’s this girl. I don’t know her name. It’s the blonde girl that was in the front row, she’s the one I danced with on stage…and she’s going to leave,” he was trying to explain this to him, but he couldn’t even explain it to himself, and frankly had no idea what he was trying to do or what he was trying to expect out of this. 

“Man, I’ve gotta get these things together in the next twenty minutes or the venue is going to kill me! Sorry man,” John said, passing right by him. 

Blake stood there, a little shocked in the moment, but a second later one of the venue bodyguards, who he had come to know that day as Chris, started to walk by.

“Chris!” Blake called over, taking a few steps to walk in front of him, willing that he would be able to help him. “There’s this girl, I don’t know her name…and she’s about to leave. It’s the blonde girl that was in front row and I danced with her on stage…” he’s explaining, a little rushed, but still somewhat calmly. 

“And you want me to go get her for you?” Chris asked, chuckling a bit. “Whoa, must be some girl.” He paused. “I’m on it.”

Blake was relieved as he watched Chris walk by him and head out towards the stage, jumping over the barricade in search of this girl who had already stolen his heart and they hadn’t even said a word to one another yet. He breathed a sigh of relief, as he turned to walk back towards the tour bus, anxiously waiting.

————

“Do you guys want food? I always get sooooo hungry after concerts and it looks like the restaurants are still open here?” Lizzy inquired, looking around to the various places nearby.

“Fine with me,” Gwen responded, nudging at Sydney to join in the conversation, even though she was drunk and her and Lizzy probably could have made her do just about anything. 

“Whaaaaat?” Sydney whined, as Gwen nudged at her and laughed.

“Yeah, it’s probably a good idea to get some food into this one,” Gwen conceded, turning to walk towards the restaurant area. Before she could make a stride in that direction, though, she heard a voice behind her.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” it called out. Feeling as if it was headed in her direction, Gwen stopped in her tracks and whipped her head around to see a very tall, 6 foot 7 built bodyguard coming after her. It made her a little nervous at first as if she had done something wrong, but the look on his face said otherwise. 

“Yeah? Me?” she asked, a look of confusion on her face.

“Your presence is being requested backstage,” Chris said simply. “I’m here to escort you back there, if you’d like to go, of course.”

“What?”

Lizzy’s eyes went wide as she started getting excited, grabbing Gwen’s arm and jumping up and down with her a little bit while she was still standing there in shock. “OH MY GOD, GWEN, GO. GO RIGHT NOW!” she squealed, and pushed her towards Chris with such force that the tall body guard ended up having to catch her a bit to steady her.

“Are you serious??” she hissed, mumbling ‘thank you’ when Chris helped steady her as she stood up on her own two feet. “Lizzy, you’re crazy. It’s late. And I have Apollo. And a million other things I’m sure, but they’re not coming to mind right now….Lizzy, I have Apollo who is at your house right now!”

“Stop it right now and get your ass backstage. I’ve got your baby boy. You need to go. And I’m serious. And that’s final.” she huffed a bit and grinned, grabbing her husband with one hand and Sydney with the other. “We are going to get food now, and you are going to go backstage and make goo goo eyes with Blake Shelton. You have my phone number and you stay out as long as you need. I’m serious, we are leaving you now, goodbye!” And with that, the three of them stormed off and away from her, leaving her alone with Chris the bodyguard.

Chris seemed amused with the situation as Gwen looked between her friends walking off and Chris watching her. She was still in shock, and a bit confused, a she opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Oh…okay,” she eventually said, as Chris began heading back towards the stage, with Gwen timidly following behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! I am floored by all the love and comments about this fic so far. I love reading them! Keep them coming and thank you for your support!


	3. Give Me Love

_There’s no way that this has anything to do with Blake Shelton. But who could have possibly requested my presence backstage? Oh my god, I’m such an idiot, this bodyguard guy must have totally went after the wrong girl and this entire thing is a mix-up. I don’t know anyone that would be working backstage at a country music festival, I barely know anyone in Atlanta, and these performers weren’t exactly the California type so it’s not like there’s any chance that someone back here would be from back home…God, Gwen. Calm the hell down. This has nothing to do with Blake Shelton…_

The thoughts were running through her mind as she followed Chris a few strides behind him as they came around to one of the side stage entrances and he flashed his crew badge and a quick ‘she’s with me’ to the security guard standing watch. Gwen was hardly able to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other as she shyly walked by the guard and suddenly found herself passing through a sea of dozens of people all doing things that…well, looked important, but she really had no clue. Some were taking up wires off the ground, others were packing up crates, it all seemed very official. What she was doing back there seemed to be a mystery, even more so as her attention was caught watching them as she walked, and not paying attention to what was right in front of her…

“Umm, ma’am?” Chris said suddenly, urgently, as the next thing Gwen knew she was colliding into something, or rather someone, and on instinct she grabbed the taller figure’s arm to catch herself and avoid a fall.

“Thank God you were much more graceful on stage tonight,” came Blake’s newly familiar voice, as Gwen’s head whipped around and soon her eyes locked up into those baby blue eyes that pierced right through her soul, and oh god, he had the biggest, dorkiest smile plastered on his face, too. Blake’s hands were holding her arms from when he had caught her and she was painfully aware of that fact, and completely embarrassed but stuck at the same time. His touch was electricity on her skin, and any words or quick comebacks that she could have managed were stuck somewhere in her throat, unable to escape. 

“Oh my God,” was all Gwen could manage to say, eventually, because she still felt like a bit of a deer stuck in headlights. She seemed to force herself to recover, feeling her legs again as she stood up straight on her own, Blake just smiling down at her with those dimples. God, those dimples. She could barely remember a time when she wasn't thinking about those dimples.

“I’m so sorry. Are you okay? Sometimes I get in my own head and I don’t watch where I’m going…” Gwen said a bit frantically, as she offered up a small smile in apology, her eyes not leaving his. Eventually, the intensity was a bit too much though and she forced herself to break eye contact, shyly looking down.

“Don’t worry about it, darlin’,” came his country accent. “I can’t complain when someone as beautiful as you runs into me. That would be stupid.”

Gwen let out a nervous giggle, and looked over to see Chris rolling his eyes and turning to leave. It was that moment that it really hit her that Blake was the one that had sent out for her in the crowd after the show, and that the exact one thing she thought was ludicrous was actually happening. 

“You sent your bodyguard out to find me,” she said simply, stating the obvious. Man, she totally sucked at this. 

“Uhm…yeah, I did, I hope that’s okay?” Blake inquired, unable to tear the smile off of his face. Man, he totally sucked at this, too.

Her gaze went back to him and she nodded, pausing as she contemplated her next response. It was the obvious question lingering between them, even though on some level they both might of known the answer, but it had to get out in the open.

“Why?”

Blake smiled again and looked down and away, breaking his gaze away from her for the first time since they had met backstage. 

“Well, first of all I wanted to thank you for playing along and coming on stage to dance with me,” Blake began lightheartedly. He was contemplating his next words carefully, as he didn’t want to scare her away, and he hadn’t exactly bought the manual for how this would go. “And…well, to be honest, I walked off the stage and just had this feeling in my gut that I wanted to talk to you. That I needed to talk to you. I know that this might sound crazy, and god for all I know you’re probably married or in a relationship….”

“I’m not,” she cut in quick, almost too eagerly, without realizing it until it had slipped out. It caused the grin on his face to widen.

“Well, that’s a good start,” Blake conceded, chuckling a bit as Gwen felt her cheeks blush. _Even his chuckle was a turn on. Easy, Gwen._ “But…I was watching you at the show tonight and it just felt like we had some kind of connection. I mean, I don’t even know your name or anything about you, and I’m probably crazy, but…I just had to take a chance and see…”

His words were melting her heart, and she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had felt it too, but of course she just chalked it up to it being a part of his act, a part of his show. But all of a sudden this was becoming reality in front of her as this humble, respectful, kindhearted man stood in front of her and had the balls enough to go after her off of one simple look. Okay, perhaps it wasn't so simple as it had literally put her out of commission all night, but still. She felt like she needed to look around for the hidden cameras or something, because there was no way any of this was actually real. 

“I felt something, too,” Gwen responded quietly, shy eyes looking back up to him again just in time to catch Blake’s face lighting up over her small confession. They spent a few long, exaggerated moments just looking at one another, before Blake spoke up again.

“I don’t have any expectations and want to make sure you’re comfortable,” he began. “But I guess what I really want to ask is if you would go out with me tonight so we can get to know one another. No expectations. Just a night out with an old country singer that has been on the road for too long, spending lonely nights in hotels with take out food…” he grinned jokingly, pretending to guilt her into it, and she just smiled.

“I mean when you put it like that, how could I refuse?” she asked, confirming her answer with a nod. Her face changed all of a sudden right after she accepted, which caused him to worry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Oh, uhm, nothing,” Gwen replied, pulling her phone out of her back pocket. “I just need to text someone really quick. Give me a sec?”

“Of course.”

Gwen hit the combination to unlock her phone and brought up Lizzy in her contact list and typed out a text.

_Lizzy, oh my god, I have no idea what’s going on but he wants to take me out. What do I do?? What about Apollo? I should just say no, right? gx_

A few seconds went by as she waited for a response, her phone buzzing dully.

_Here’s what you’re going to do - you’re going to go out and you’re going to get some of that Blake Shelton ass, girl! You deserve it! Baby will be well taken care of and will have a sleepover with my boys, end of story. Have a good niiiiiiight_

Gwen rolled her eyes at her phone and stuck it back in her pocket. “Okay, I’m good.”

“Great,” Blake said with a smile. “So, uh, what’s your name anyway?” He suddenly realized they had already been talking so long and he had no idea.

“Oh! Gwen. I’m Gwen,” she said a little awkwardly, twice, and just kept smiling at him.

“Gwen. My new favorite name,” he said, Gwen rolling her eyes in jest over how cheesy he was being. “Oh, I’m Blake, by the way.”

This caused Gwen to burst out laughing as she shook her head at him. “I think I figured that out by the big sign on the stage that said ‘BLAKE SHELTON’, cowboy, but thanks for making sure I was caught up.” She grinned. He could barely handle it. 

"So…where are we headed?”

———

About a half an hour later, Blake and Gwen were hiding out in a round booth tucked in the back corner of a dimmed dive bar. Gwen had no idea what kind of bars or restaurants were in her own city considering she was so new, but Blake knew of a few places within walking distance that he was able to hit up without a million people following him around or caring that he was there. Blake kept his baseball cap on which helped disguise him under the dimmed atmosphere. They were sitting only a few inches from one another, right next to each other, it was so close Gwen just wanted to reach out and hold his hand, cuddle up against him, something, and it was scaring her a bit with how hard and fast she was falling for him. Her body angled towards him, his arm was draped on the back of the booth, and she could have just so easily moved a little closer under his arm to feel his warmth… 

She silently took a deep breath, willing herself not to go there. At least not yet.

“So, I have a question,” she asked suddenly. Gwen picked up the glass of wine and took a sip, giving him a curious look before setting it down again, ready to continue. “Why do you sing a song about Chewbacca? It’s kind of random but like, is he your favorite Star Wars character or something?” she giggled a bit.

“What in the hell are you talking about?” Blake said as he started to laugh, taking a careful swig back of his beer and giving her a really confused, but amused look.

“You have a song about Chewbacca! It was just kind of weird! I mean I know country music is weird in general but I still can’t get over it and I wanted to know why you sing a song about him.”

“Gwen, I swear to god, I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

She rolled her eyes as she laughed, taking another drink of her wine. “Blake. Oh my god. I don’t know the lyrics to your songs…but like, it was something about spitting on him, too? I was so confused! I AM so confused!”

Blake just stared at her for a few minutes and the second it clicked in his head what she was talking about, he began howling in laughter. He started to choke a bit on his beer as he just continued to laugh at her, Gwen sitting there laughing a little bit but also so damn confused at the same time.

“What?? Why is that so funny??” Gwen asked, realizing it was going to be a minute before Blake got this out of him. 

“Gwen…Gwen….I….” he started laughing again. “Chew…tobacco…” he managed before continuing to laugh. Blake was laughing so hard he was crying. 

“Honey, you weren’t kidding when you said you weren’t from the south,” he said when he finally managed to calm down. There was something about the name ‘honey’ that made her feel things she didn’t know she was capable of ever feeling again. 

“I still don’t get it,” she finally replied.

“That is not a song about Chewbacca. It’s a song about _chewing tobacco_ ,” he grinned at her, and Gwen blushed, a bit embarrassed. 

“Oh,” was all she said in response. A few silent moments passed before the two of them were then busting out in laughter about it all together. 

“But…but then why do you spit? Aren't you supposed to smoke tobacco?”

“God, you’re adorable, woman,” was all Blake could manage to say, shaking his head at her and just keeping his eyes on hers. A few more silent minutes, before he continued. “I majorly screwed up some of my own lyrics tonight, though, because I was distracted looking at you…so maybe it’s possible I was singing about the hairy guy after all.”

Another few moments of silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward, though, they just seemed to really enjoy being in each other’s company. 

The beginning chords of _Give Me Love_ began playing through the bar, which caused Gwen to smile as it was one of her favorite Ed Sheeran songs. Blake took notice of her expression change, and held out his hand to her.

“I think I owe you a proper dance, Gwen,” he said, smiling at her. It only took a moment for her to smile back, placing her hand into his, as they moved out of the booth and made their way to the small dance floor nearby.

“As long as you’re not just doing this to ‘suck up to this lady’, as you told the crowd tonight,” she grinned as she teased him, nudging into him a bit as they started walking. 

“I already know I love dancing with you, Gwen,” Blake responded, coming to a stop on the dance floor and turning to face her. A bit timidly, he moved forward and slid his arms around her waist, pulling her to him as her arms went up and around his neck. Their eyes locked again, both smiling at one another, as they just swayed to the music in silence. Towards the latter half of the song, Gwen felt a bit brave (or perhaps it was the wine), and she slowly, tentatively, leaned her head against his chest as they continued to sway. 

_Give a little time to me or burn this out,_  
_We'll play hide and seek to turn this around,_  
_All I want is the taste that your lips allow,_  
_My, my, my, my, oh give me love,_  
_My, my, my, my, oh give me love..._

It was in that moment, while listening to his heartbeat and feeling his touch on her, that she decided she never wanted this night to end.


	4. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take a moment again to say thank you for all the love! Especially from my "greedy" FFGC that has helped me develop some of my ideas and provides me great inspiration and entertainment. Love you guys.

“Last call!”

The moment those two words rang out across the bar, her stomach dropped. It seemed like they had only been there for an hour even though it was probably closer to three at that point. The two of them spent the entire time swapping stories about their lives, Blake’s much more entertaining than hers, though. As the chemistry between them grew, the distance between them closed. It hadn’t taken long after that dance for Blake to be able to casually bring his arm around Gwen, holding her against him slightly as they spoke. His hand against her bare arm was her new favorite feeling. It felt comforting. It felt safe. 

“Cowboooooy,” Gwen whined a little, frowning, and looking up to him. “They’re trying to kick us out now.” She reached out in front of her for her glass of wine, which she took the last few swigs of in order to finish. She was so thankful that she wasn’t drunk, considering how many people had gotten her to drink that night, but she definitely felt a bit of a buzz. It was that familiar feeling, like an old friend, and it was probably the only thing keeping her calm in this situation. Had she been fully alert with all of her normal anxieties in place, she definitely wouldn’t have been this smooth.

Blake took the last drink of his beer, placing the empty bottle on the table, and gently caressed Gwen’s arm with his fingertips. The sensation sent chills down her spine as she shrunk up a bit more into him. “I know, how dare they,” he said with a grin down to her, as he also nudged her a bit. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

A few moments later, Blake was opening the door for Gwen as they both made their way out into the streets. Gwen’s arms crossed immediately and she smiled a bit, waiting for him to take her hand, but he didn’t quite yet. Noticing Gwen’s cold nature, he quickly unbuttoned his flannel shirt and draped it around her arms, leaving him just wearing a short sleeved shirt that he had underneath.

“Oh Blake, you don’t have to do that,” she said once she felt the fabric come into contact with her skin.

“Darlin, I never get cold out here,” he said with a grin. “Comes from growing up in Oklahoma. Now that’s _real_ cold.”

Gwen pulled her arms up and slid them into the sleeves, also letting them down as Blake had them rolled up to his elbows. She wrapped the soft flannel around her body and couldn’t help but inhale the scent that lingered behind and god, it was intoxicating. It was Blake. His arm went around her and they began walking down the sidewalk together. 

“Thank you,” she said genuinely, giving him a hug from the side as they continued walking. “So…where are you headed after tonight?” she asked, a pang of sadness in her voice referring to the fact that he was going to be leaving. 

“Hmmm,” he mused, thinking for a moment. “Well, we’re all off until we need to hit the road again on Sunday…"

“You’re going to be here tomorrow??” Gwen’s eyes shot up, with a smile, a little too eager but she tried not to care. She was really bad about not showing her cards sometimes. Blake chuckled a bit at her, thinking it was one of the most adorable qualities he had bore witness to.

“Yeah, Gwen, I don’t leave Atlanta until Sunday morning,” he said, smiling down at her. The sudden jolt of excitement surging through Gwen’s body felt as if someone had just told her she had won the lottery. Though, to be honest, she already felt like she had. “But then it’s off to Nashville, Memphis, then Oklahoma City by next weekend. Not a terrible week. It’ll be nice to have a few days off in Oklahoma before going to Texas, too.”

Her phone started vibrating in her pocket, drawing her attention away briefly as she reached down to hit a button to make it stop. She leaned her head in against him as she willed herself not to get too close, not to get too attached, because even though he was there longer than she thought, it was still such a brief moment in time. Her logic was telling her that this wasn’t going to turn into anything; it was a nice, much needed night off from her crazy situation and nothing more. Her heart was screaming at her to fight for this, which was crazy because my god, they literally just met a few hours ago. Her eyes turned down to her pocket again when she realized her phone was buzzing once more. Curiosity got the better of her, after all she didn’t exactly have a lot of friends that could be calling her at 3 in the morning, and she pulled her phone out of her pocket as she saw ‘Lizzy’ flashing across the screen.

“Everything ok?” Blake asked, caressing her shoulder a bit as Gwen’s eyes widened. 

“I’m sorry, I really need to take this,” she apologized, as they stopped on the sidewalk and moved to the side next to the wall of the building next to them.

“Lizzy? What’s wrong?” her tone was guilty. Worried. Her stomach was in her throat over the possibility that something horrible had happened to her baby boy while she selfishly took a night out.

“Gwen, no, no, everything is okay, calm down,” Lizzy said immediately, which only took her off the edge slightly. “Pollo just had a bad dream and he wanted to hear your voice. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything…”

“Apollo always comes first, don’t apologize and thank you so much for calling. Let me talk to him,” Gwen said, letting out a sigh as the guilt just continued to rush over her. Noticing she felt stressed, Blake reached over and slid his arm around her waist and placed a small kiss on the top of her forehead. Somehow, and she had no idea why, that small gesture alone seemed to calm her down. Blake seemed to be better than any anti-anxiety medication she had ever taken, and that confused her. 

“Mama?” she heard over the phone a moment later as Lizzy held the phone to Apollo’s ear. The phone was loud enough that Blake could also hear what was going on, too, but Gwen kept focused on her son. 

“Hi baby boy!” she exclaimed, a huge smile coming over her face. Blake was in awe, watching her light up so much when talking to her little one. It made him feel things he hadn’t quite felt before. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Stawrrrs…stawrs…” Apollo said in response, which melted her heart a little bit. She knew he was talking about his favorite song, and he was asking for Gwen to sing to him.

“Okay baby, we can sing “Stars”, but first I want you to lie down in your bed, okay?” A few moments later, she heard rustling on the phone as she assumed Apollo had listened to her, and soon he was talking again. “Stawrs mama, stawrs”

“Ssshhh…” she began, before she gently began singing the lullaby. “Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky…twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are…” a smile came to her face as she heard Apollo trying to mumble the words along with her as she sang them, followed by a small yawn from him as she sang the verse back a few more times. Blake just watched her throughout this entire situation, his heart melting over the fact that she was such a caring mom and it was probably the most endearing thing he had seen about her. 

“He’s okay, Gwen, I promise,” Lizzy came on the phone a moment later in a whisper. “He went right back to sleep. He just needed to hear your voice.”

“God, Lizzy, I’m so sorry you’re having to handle him right now,” Gwen apologized, feeling the guilt come again.

“Stop it, it was my son’s fault he woke up to begin with. Apollo is a little love bug. We’re going back to sleep now, though, so goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” Gwen said, as she hung up the phone and looked over to Blake. She took a deep breath in as he just smiled a bit at her. She felt a little emotional, and a lot of guilt. “I’m sorry,” Gwen whispered to Blake, casting her eyes downward. “I just feel so weird and guilty not being home with my son. I haven’t left him with a babysitter since way before the divorce and he is literally my entire world.”

“Gwen, you deserve a night out,” Blake said, nudging at her a bit as he brought her into his arms for a hug. God, he gives the best hugs. “You’re going to go crazy if you don’t do something for yourself now and then, and then that effects the little guy. I don’t know what it’s like to be a single parent, but my god, you are such an amazing mom, I can already tell that.” 

Gwen scrunched her face up a bit as they began walking down the sidewalk again, not really believing what he was saying. “I’m ok, I guess. It just hurts sometimes that I can’t give him everything like I had growing up. I have such great parents who are still married to this day and there was always so much love around. His father is pure selfish hatred and it just breaks my heart for him. I’m sorry. This topic is depressing, I’m sure.” Gwen drew closer to him and pulled him into a hug as they continued to walk.

“Don’t apologize, sweetheart. Don’t ever apologize for telling me how you feel or for talking to me.”

They walked until they made it back onto the venue lot, heading towards Blake’s tour bus. Once they were in front of it he slowly reached up and opened the door for her with a small smile, and although she wanted to go up, she was frozen in place.

“No expectations, baby. Just to spend more time together,” Blake whispered in her ear, which calmed her nerves as she squeezed his hand and walked up the stairs and into the bus. She lingered for a moment as he came up behind her and she watched him take the lead, as she let out a yawn. He smiled a bit at her and she looked away, a bit embarrassed. 

“Sorry, I’m not used to these late nights, cowboy. Usually the cartoons go off by 5:30, dinner is on the walls by 6, and Apollo is in bed by 7,” she explained with a slight shrug and grin. He smiled at her and just continued to watch her a bit, as he led the two of them to the back of the bus where his room was. Once they stepped through the doors, Blake sat down on the bed and pulled her next to him.

“Since Apollo is having a sleepover…would it be presumptuous of me to ask if you want to stay? I mean, it’s basically going to be morning time in a few hours anyways…” he said with a smile, lightly stroking back Gwen’s blonde hair behind her ear. 

“I…” Gwen began, her eyes coming up to meet his. “I would actually really like that, Blake,” she said with a small smile, as she moved a little closer to him. Gently, she leaned forward and placed a light kiss on his cheek. She lingered a moment and moved back onto the bed a bit, laying her head on the pillow and turning to her side. Blake only took a minute before he followed suit, pulling Gwen against him and putting his arm over her to hold her. Gwen cuddled up to him a little more as she instantly relaxed.

“You’re such a good hugger,” Gwen commented, feeling utterly content as she was buried in both his flannel shirt and, well, _him_. “You’re going to make me go right to sleep, you know.”

And before she could even remember his response, her eyes were closed and she was drifting off.


	5. Proposition

She began stirring around 8:30 the next morning. Gwen’s eyes opened softly to take in the unfamiliar surroundings of the tour bus, the sun coming through the closed window on the other side of the room. She inhaled and let out a small breath and twitched, becoming painfully aware of Blake’s arm wrapped around her midsection and holding her tight in the spooning position up against him. It was so comforting, she never wanted to leave.

Gwen felt Blake lean forward a little towards her. “Good morning,” came his raspy morning breath against her neck. The sensation gave her chills down her spine.

Carefully turning slightly as to make sure she still kept his arm around her, she turned and laid on her back as he kept his arm casually draped across her stomach now instead of her side. Their eyes met for a few moments before a small, tired smile came across her features. “Hi, cowboy,” she said gently, getting lost in the fact that his eyes were burning a hole into her again and that paired with his messy morning curls was just enough to do her in. She had to look away. She forced herself to do so, and continued to turn all the way into his chest to cuddle up to him. 

She had no idea where this sudden bravery came from, especially considering they had just met last night, but she couldn’t help herself. It felt so good, whatever ‘it’ was. Her mind was at ease over the fact that it didn’t feel any different in the light of the next day, that she very much wanted to be with him and see where this might lead. And to be honest, after a lifetime of guys only being after her because they wanted to screw her, it warmed her heart that he had just laid there next to her all night and he hadn’t tried to make a move. It was scary to her how perfect this situation was ending up being.

“Did you sleep well?” Blake asked, as he brought his other arm around Gwen and pulled her in a little closer so she could cuddle up against him. He inhaled slightly, taking in the smell of vanilla and almond, and it was honestly the best thing. 

“Mmmmhmmm,” was all Gwen responded, nodding her head in approval against his chest. “Best sleep ever.” Her small confession made him smile quietly to himself. “What time is it?”

“Just about 8:30 I think,” Blake responded. “What are you up to today?” He felt like he was sitting on the edge, unsure of if she was busy or not, but desperately hoping that she wasn’t because he wanted to spend the day with her. It was the only thing he wanted more than life in that moment.

“Mmm…” she thought for a moment. “I need to go pick up Apollo from Lizzy’s. I need to go home and shower. And I promised Apollo I would take him to the aquarium today. He’s been so obsessed with fish lately and he gets so excited when he sees them.” His heart sank a little in that moment as there was a bit of silence. Gwen’s gaze averted up to him. “Would you….you know, want to come?”

“To the shower with you or the aquarium?” he asked jokingly, which caused Gwen to giggle a bit and bury her face back in his chest in embarrassment. 

“Blaaaaaake,” she said, giggling again. 

“I know, I know, you were talking about the aquarium. You can’t blame a cowboy for trying.”

“I know it doesn’t exactly sound like the most fun day in the world, but…”

“Gwen, I can’t think of anything better than spending the day with you and meeting the little guy.”

“Do you like kids?” her voice was filled with hope, probably more than she meant to let on, but the thought made her so happy. She felt like a lot of people were resistant to dating someone with a kid, but he seemed to be embracing it from right off the bat.

“I love kids. I don’t have any, but I have a big family. Nieces and nephews, cousins, things like that.” Gwen smiled up to him at this confession. 

“Then it’s settled.”

———  
About thirty minutes later, Blake and Gwen were up out of bed and Gwen was digging through her purse for her phone, texting Lizzy that she would be by in the next fifteen minutes or so to get her baby boy. Blake had offered to take one of the trucks from the venue to give her a ride to Lizzy’s house, because her car was still sitting there in the driveway.

Soon, they were standing at the door of the tour bus as he leaned down and placed a small kiss on her neck, which caused her to shiver as it tickled her skin. Arm in arm, the two of them walked to the truck and soon they were off to Lizzy’s. Blake pulled into the short driveway and parked for a moment, looking over at Gwen.

“Thank you for the ride,” she said with a smile, reaching out and squeezing his hand. “Come by my place in a couple of hours and we can go together?”

“Absolutely,” he responded, kissing her hand quickly and squeezing it. “I’ll see you soon, Gwen.”

“Bye, cowboy.”

She pushed the door open from the truck and walked down the driveway towards the door, feeling Blake watching her carefully from behind. Gwen knocked on Lizzy’s door, and it only took a few minutes for Lizzy to come running up, just in time for her to catch Gwen and Blake waving goodbye to one another as he pulled out of the driveway and drove off. 

“Gwen Stefani! You got that cowboy ass last night, didn’t you?!” Lizzy accused jokingly, nudging at her. “That was Blake freaking Shelton in my driveway!”

“Lizzy! Shh!” she hissed, looking around her for any signs of her son. “Apollo is repeating everything right now, last thing we need is for him to start cursing, oh my god,” she said, before she started giggling. A moment later, she heard tiny quick footsteps running at her and one small but mighty hand suddenly hit her, palm open, on her thigh.

“TAAAAAG!” Apollo said, giggling, and then running away as quickly as he came. Gwen’s face ruffled in confusion as she giggled, looking up to Lizzy. 

“Oh, by the way, about that,” Lizzy began, laughing a bit as she watched Apollo run off into the other room. “My boys taught Apollo how to play tag with them and he’s been doing that all morning. I really didn’t mean to send him home with you having a new obsession.” Gwen laughed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head a bit. 

“Great,” she responded, jokingly.

“But seriously now. What happened last night? Did you…?!”

“No, no, oh god - no,” Gwen cut her off, knowing exactly where she was leading with that. “We just…talked. Went to a bar. Danced. And we fell asleep together. Nothing happened.” She took a deep, nervous breath, reliving the night for a moment in her head. Her eyes went back to Lizzy and she bit her lip. “He’s…he’s going to spend the day with me and Apollo, though.”

Lizzy squealed and hugged her friend. “Ok, ok, let’s get you out of here then so you can go home and get ready for your new boyfriend.” Gwen laughed and rolled her eyes, about to correct her, but somehow getting lost in how it felt to hear those words associated with Blake. She was so far from that, she knew, but those words...damn. She took a deep breath, picked up Apollo and his things, thanked her friend and headed home.

An hour later, she was showered and applying her make up as she let her hair dry. She picked out a pair of short denim shorts and paired it with a tight black tank top and converse shoes. Her hair was pulled straight down, and she carefully applied her make up as her nerves started coming back, realizing he was going to be there any minute. Before she knew it, but thankfully after she had ample time to get ready, the doorbell rang and she heard Apollo’s little footsteps running and barreling towards the door. Apollo’s hands hit the door repeatedly, unable to really open it himself, until Gwen came up behind him and pulled the knob back to reveal one very handsome cowboy standing on the other side, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

“Hi again,” Gwen said, with a smile that came across her face and only seem to grew bigger.

“Hi,” Blake responded, getting lost in her beauty and completely forgetting that this was the part to hand the girl the flowers. As soon as he remembered, Apollo lurched forward at Blake, hit him on his leg, and yelled “TAAAAAG!” before giggling incessantly and running away to another far corner of the apartment.

Gwen started laughing and shook her head. “Oh god, I’m sorry. Lizzy said her boys taught him how to play tag last night and he doesn’t understand the game has been over for about 12 hours…”

“I think it’s adorable,” Blake quickly said, handing her the flowers and sliding his arm around her waist. “He gets it from his mom.” Gwen blushed. God, all of this was just so crazy. “You ready to go, beautiful?”

“Mmhmm, let me go wrangle the tasmanian devil over there,” she laughed, jokingly, as she went chasing after Apollo and picked him up and spun him around to make him laugh. Blake couldn’t help but stare, only pulling his eyes away as they headed out the door and drove to the aquarium.

Soon, the three of them were walking through the large, dark halls of the aquarium, surrounded by hundreds of different fish and sea creatures. Apollo was in heaven; he was just staring at all the surroundings, and getting excited when they would move over towards him. He pressed his little nose up against the glass to try and see better, and Blake scooped down next to him to look at the fish with him. It was dangerous how hot and bothered the sight of Blake with her son was already making her, and she needed to calm herself down a bit.

“Up!” Apollo said suddenly, and without hesitating Blake scooped him up to bring him to his level to see the fish from up there. His little hands rested on the glass as he just stared in wonder. 

“You’re really good with him,” Gwen observed, coming around the side of him and resting a hand on Blake’s lower back. He grinned down at Gwen as the three of them watched the aquatic life in silence for a few moments. Blake set Apollo down and Apollo immediately pushed his nose back up against the glass, mesmerized. He reached down for Gwen’s hand and led her a few feet away to sit on one of the observation benches together. His arm went around her waist as he pulled her closer to him, and Gwen couldn’t help but let out a shaky breath.

“I wasn’t kidding when I told you I do like kids,” Blake said, rubbing her back a little. 

“I didn’t think you were. I’m just…really surprised how quickly he has taken to you. It usually takes a while for him to trust anyone.”

“Does he also get that from his mom?”

Gwen was a little startled by the question, and she turned her head to look up and meet his eyes. There were a few directions she could take the answer to that question, but she chose the path of least resistance. “Blake, I have keep my heart on lockdown. All of this has happened so fast, and it’s so weird, and I haven’t fully processed it but at the same time…I can’t not figure out what this might be, you know? But the number one thing with me is that that little boy right here…” she nodded her head towards Apollo, “…he’s my number one priority and I can’t let him get hurt. He’s already been hurt and it breaks my heart.”

Blake listened and nodded along as she spoke, just continuing to hold her.

“I don’t have kids, but I also went through a pretty terrible divorce,” Blake began, his gaze shifting away as he kept an eye on Apollo instead. “I understand how hard it is to try and move forward with other people when you’ve been burned so badly. She cheated on me, much like your ex did to you, and I understand how deep those wounds can run.” Gwen almost had to fight tears back in her eyes as she listened to him talk about his divorce - how could this incredibly kind, lighthearted, and respectable man in front of her had found someone to treat him like the scum of the earth? Her arms went around his waist to hold onto him a little tighter. “I would never dream of hurting you or Apollo. And…I have no idea what this is, Gwen, but I can’t not figure out what this might be, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

Gwen’s eyes went back to Apollo, who still had his face pressed up against the glass as he was perfectly content. She took a shaky breath in, as her mind started running a mile a minute, willing herself not to let any tears fall. Blake noticed the change in her demeanor, and nudged at her a bit.

“Hey…what’s the matter? Did I say something to upset you?”

“No, no, god no -“ Gwen began, taking a deep breath in and keeping her eyes focused on Apollo. “I just…I’m sorry. This is just a really tough week for me. Gavin’s nanny is flying out here to get Apollo in a few days to spend a few weeks back in California with Gavin and I’m just not ready to be alone.” Blake’s heart seemed to break for her as he kissed the top of her head.

“You can cry about it, you know. You don’t have to hold it in for my sake,” Blake said softly.

“No, I do. I need to hold it in because I’m not sure I’d be able to stop if I let myself start, you know?”

“What are you doing next weekend?” he asked suddenly, which caused her to look up to him.

“What?” she responded at first without thinking, before she was able to process the question. “Uhm. Probably will be downing a few bottles of wine by myself. I don’t know. Why?”

“I want you to come see me on tour,” Blake said. “I want to fly you out to come and see me. Is that something you would like?”

“Blake, I can’t let you do that…”

“Why not? It’s paid for. I have a private jet on standby when I need it, and baby, I think this is one of those times when I’m going to need it…” he gave a smile down to her. How was it that one moment all of her angst and sadness over her life seemed to take over her body, but the next he was able to say less than ten words and it all seemed like everything would be better. 

“I…oh my god,” was all she could manage. She clung to him tighter, hugging him. “Yes…please. As long as you’re sure it’s not too much…”

“No, honey, it’s perfect.” He kissed her head again. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon at the aquarium, eventually tearing Apollo away from the fish when he seemed to start getting tired. Blake drove them home and Gwen immediately took Apollo up to his room and sang him asleep. He had sure had an eventful 24 hours between Lizzy’s house and now a full day out. When he was down for a nap, Gwen closed the door quietly behind him and went back downstairs to where she had left one particularly amazing cowboy. 

“I just ordered us some dinner,” Gwen said, coming into the living room and walking right up next to him. He turned, locking his eyes on her. The quiet intensity that she was still not used to when he did that surfaced, and she even forgot to breathe for a second as she took a deeper breath in to make up for it.

“I had an amazing time with you today,” he said in a low voice, his arms coming to rest on her sides and sliding to the small of her back. She moved in closer to him, not breaking eye contact as she took another deep breath. She was getting that same feeling again, the one that she wanted so badly to be closer to him, even though she was pretty wrapped up in him already. Slowly, he began to move forward and placed a soft, delicate kiss on Gwen’s lips.

She had to take a breath to recover from the tenderness of which he had done so. Her arms went up around his neck as she went in to kiss him, still keeping a soft and innocent demeanor about herself. He deepened the kiss, slowly moving his tongue inside of her mouth. He gently pushed her up against the back of the wall near them as she reciprocated, massaging her tongue against his as her hands rested on his neck. She pulled back and took a deep breath. There were so many emotions going through her mind at that moment and they were all fighting for her attention. There was only one common theme, though; she wanted to do that again.

Launching forward, she kissed him again. And again. Slow, but deep, as she held herself steady against him and got lost in his touch. His hands were moving up her sides, under her tank top, as they made contact with her bare skin. The sensation was maddening. He was careful not to push things too far as he kept focused on Gwen, continuing their make out session. Neither of them realized how long they were going on with it until the doorbell rang, which shocked both of them back to the present.

Gwen leaned against the wall, head snapped back as she willed herself to catch her breath. Blake took a moment to do the same before leaning forward, placing a kiss on her forehead, and heading for the door with his wallet. He paid the delivery man with cash and brought their food over to where he had left Gwen.

“Dinner is here,” Blake said, gesturing to the food in his hand.

“Okay,” she said reluctantly, even though she felt deep down it was probably a good idea to slow it down for a bit before they got too carried away. Blake took her hand and led her to the couch, pulling her on top of his lap as he opened the pizza box next to them. Reaching out, Gwen picked up a slice and took a few bites, settling her back against the end of the couch while looking at him.

Blake was staring at her in awe. She was just this normal, gorgeous woman sitting in her shorts on the couch with him and eating pizza without a proper plate. It was endearing. Gwen smiled nervously as she realized Blake had been looking at her for some time. “What? Do I have pizza sauce on my face or something?” she asked with a laugh.

“No, I’m sorry. You’re just…wow,” Blake said, reaching over for his own slice of pizza as he began eating it. Gwen felt herself blushing a bit, breaking their eye contact briefly as she tried to recover.

“Well, you’re pretty ‘wow’ yourself, cowboy,” she said with a small smile, as she ate another bite of pizza.


	6. Taylor

She had secretly been in tears all morning.

The day started off somewhat normal, even though the weight of the fact that she had to say goodbye to her baby boy that day was breaking her heart. She kept their routine mostly normal - she got up at normal time, she made Apollo a good breakfast, and basically she spent the morning sitting across from him and just watching him because soon she wouldn’t have that luxury anymore. Gavin’s nanny was set to come by at 10:00am, and it was already 9:45. She willed herself to keep herself together, to not let Apollo know that she was upset for any reason. Once the nanny arrived, she quickly gathered his things and loaded them into the car, focusing on trying to be helpful instead of the fact that half of her heart was about to get on a plane to go across the country, away from her. She took Apollo in her arms one last time and just held him tight for several minutes before buckling him into his car seat, and eventually watching them drive off.

It was amazing that she had even made it to work. The second he was out of view, she had gone back in her house and closed the door, starting to sob before she could even turn the lock. She finally was able to compose herself long enough to push large sunglasses up onto her nose, drive into work, and make a beeline for her office to not have to deal with any people. Her hand reached out for her doorknob and she pushed it open, her eyes fell on her desk. Instead of seeing the sleek glass countertops like she was accustomed to, her eyes were met with a beautiful, gorgeous, giant rose floral arrangement. A little confused, she tentatively walked towards it and set her purse on her chair, hand soon outstretching to the card. She opened it and began reading…

_I am so excited to see you this weekend. I know today is tough, but I hope this might have brought a smile to your face. If you’re up for it, please give me a call later so I know that you’re okay. -B_

Was this man trying to make her start crying all over again?

Gwen inhaled and took in a shaky breath, rereading the card five or six times as she was just so in awe of how thoughtful he was and how he strived to remember little details like this. Her ex had never been that good at paying much attention to her, and this feeling was just so foreign. Gwen bent forward a bit and smelled the gorgeous roses, there must have been at least 2-3 dozen of them. A single tear ran down her cheek just as Lizzy appeared in her doorway.

“Gwen?”

“Yeah?” her head snapped over, quickly wiping the tear away and trying to compose herself to appear normal. 

Lizzy gave a small, sympathetic smile as she came over to Gwen’s side and wrapped her arms around her waist in a hug. 

“Oh my god Lizzy if you do that I’m going to lose it again and I’m never going to get these production reports done,” Gwen said, sniffing a bit as she crossed her arms and looked down at the roses in front of her. “But…thank you. I’m seriously so lucky to have a great friend like you.”

“And apparently you’re also quite lucky to have a certain cowboy that is very smitten with you…” Lizzy responded, changing the subject with a grin on her face as she looked at Gwen expectantly. It caused Gwen to giggle a little bit, even blushing slightly as she looked away.

“I can’t even explain what any of this means,” Gwen said, shaking her head. “I’ve never had a connection like this with someone. I’ve never had someone remember things going on in my life or sending me flowers or anything like that. It’s scaring me to death.”

“Why is it scaring you so much?”

“Because it’s so good that I feel like it’s going to go away the second I start to enjoy it or dare get used to it.”

Lizzy exhaled a bit and held out her hand for the card, which Gwen handed over to her and kept her eye on Lizzy as she read it. Lizzy nodded a bit, looking up at Gwen. “Wow, he’s definitely something,” she mused, smiling, as she returned the card to Gwen. 

“He’s unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well, all you can do is see where this takes you, love bug,” Lizzy said, looking from the flowers and back over to Gwen. “You need to be careful, stay grounded, but see where this goes. And you can’t get your hopes up…because you need to stay guarded, at least until you know that there is really potential here, you know?”

“I know.”

A few minutes of silence lingered between them, interrupted only by Gwen’s phone going off a few times in a row.

“I recognize the urgency of those e-mails,” Gwen said, rolling her eyes, knowing her boss was probably wondering where she was at with analyzing the reports she was supposed to be working on.

“Text me if you need me, ok?” Lizzy said, giving Gwen a quick hug before leaving her alone in her office. 

Gwen nodded, and then got to work. A few hours later, she was exhausted from her reports and she pulled her phone out of her purse, and dialed a certain cowboy’s phone number. The moments the phone rang before he picked up were maddening, and she was almost regretting calling to bother him, but the moment she heard his voice, selfishly, she was glad she had picked up the courage to do so.

“Gwen Stefani,” Blake said with a smile in his voice, which caused her to smile to herself as she took a seat down in her large leather executive chair.

“Blake Shelton,” she mimicked, smiling as she curled her legs up underneath herself. “I…wow. I was so surprised when I came in today and saw these flowers. Blake, they’re so beautiful, are you trying to get me emotional all over again?” she joked, even though she was predisposed to it.

“Oh baby, that wasn’t my intention at all…” his country voice trailed off, which my god, she was suddenly finding so attractive. She heard a few guitar strings play in the background.

“Blake, am I interrupting you? Are you rehearsing or something? I’m sorry, I should have texted…”

“No, don’t say that. I’ve been dying for you to call me all day,” he said with a grin, and his small confession really sent her over the edge. “It’s my rehearsal, these kids can wait on me, it’s what they’re paid to do.”

“Blake!” she exclaimed, giggling. “It’s not nice to make people wait on you…”

“I don’t think they understand the situation. And if they knew I had a drop dead gorgeous blonde on the other end of the line…well, trust me, they’d be all for it. They’re sick of me moping around.”

God, he was such a good smooth talker, and made Gwen feel like she could barely form sentences on a third grade level when he said things like that. There was something about his brutal honesty that just had this effect on her, and it touched her on so many levels.

A few moments of silence lingered, and it felt as if Blake wanted to say something else. Eventually, he spoke up. “Are…you okay, though?”

“Better now that I’m talking to you, cowboy.”

“I’m so excited for you to come visit me this weekend.” His words made her heart skip a beat.

“Me too, Blake. You have no idea.”

“Your plane will be waiting for you at the executive terminal at the ATL airport. I’m going to have my personal assistant Taylor send you the flight details, and she’ll also be waiting for you in Atlanta to board your flight. It should be relatively short and then you’ll be with me again…”

“That all sounds so amazing,” she breathed. “Anyways, I need to let you get back to work. And my boss is having an out of body experience about these reports so…I’ll text you later tonight, ok?”

“Have a good rest of your day, darlin. I miss you.”

“Miss you, Blake,” she breathed once more, as she hung up the phone. 

———

It felt weird yet exciting when she got up on that Friday morning. The awesome thing about her job was that she was able to manage to work remotely, and what better time to exercise that flexibility when a famous singer wanted to fly you out to his concert on his private jet? 

Gwen was a little turned around at the airport trying to find the executive terminal, but with the help of some police officers on patrol she was able to find her way over to it eventually. She went up to the counter, tugging her bags along behind her.

“Name?” the counter attendant asked, peering over his glasses.

“Uhm…Gwen Stefani?” she answered, a little shaken by his prickly demeanor.

“Miss Stefani!” a thick, yet endearing southern accent suddenly barreled throughout the room. Gwen turned her head to see where it was coming from, and soon a bubbly blonde with a huge smile on her face came walking over towards her.

“Hi,” she said with a small, nervous smile. “Are you Taylor?”

“Yes, ma’am,” she responded with another smile. It was amusing Gwen how bubbly his assistant was, and she decided immediately that she liked her. “Don’t worry about your bags, the valets will load all of that for you. All you have to do is board when you’re ready, and the catering and bar staff can get you anything you need.” She must have looked a little shocked as Taylor was explaining all of this to her, as Taylor added, “First time on a private plane?”

“Oh, uhhm, yeah, how could you tell?” she asked jokingly, giving Taylor a small smile. Taylor returned the smile, and began to walk out to the airplane, with Gwen trailing behind her. Taylor had that comforting, genuine southern personality, which she was instantly grateful for in that moment. She was one of those people that you felt instantly comfortable to be around, which is probably exactly what she needed in that moment. 

“Just a lucky guess,” Taylor responded with a small shrug. Gwen climbed up the stairs into the private plane and stopped once she got inside, noting the gorgeous, expensive interior. _Whoa._ She took a breath, and looked back to Taylor not sure where to go. 

“Sit anywhere you’d like!” she exclaimed. “You are the guest of honor, after all.” That was definitely not something Gwen was used to, all of this pampering and being looked after, but she obliged. Taylor took the seat opposite of her and brought her notebook up into her lap.

“Blake also wanted me to tell you that his record label just booked a last minute cocktail party tonight at the venue after the show,” Taylor said, which caused Gwen’s head to snap up in her direction. Oh god, she hadn’t packed for anything like that. Was he expecting her to pack nicer clothes? Taylor must have noticed the sudden look of panic on her face as she quickly followed up with more information. “Don’t worry, he has me taking you to a boutique first thing when we land in Oklahoma City to get you a dress…and he wanted me to tell you he is going to get you guys to escape as soon as possible from it, just enough time to put in enough of an appearance to appease the record label gods.” Taylor gave another small smile, and with this extra information, she seemed to calm. Though, the idea of a famous people party was way out of her comfort zone if she was totally being honest with herself. It was nerve-wracking. 

“Wine?” someone spoke from her side, and Gwen nodded. “Merlot, if you have it…and you might need to leave the bottle.”

A few glasses of wine later, the pilot announced their descent into the Oklahoma City airport just as Gwen took back the last of her glass of wine. Though she was tempted to drink more just out of sheer nerves, she made sure to compose herself. She was honestly so excited to see him but so nervous at the same time. Would he feel the same about her? They hadn’t seen one another in week, after all, and he had played 2 other shows since then and…were there other girls? Did he have a habit of doing this a lot?

The thought alone made her heart drop into her stomach as she quietly stood up and exited the plane. There was a black escalade waiting for them, which Taylor directed her towards to indicate that it was for them. She watched nervously as the valets loaded her luggage in the back of the car, and she sat trying to make herself focus and calm down. The car pulled out of the airport executive terminal and soon they were on the highway, heading towards a boutique, according to Taylor.

Once they arrived, Gwen and Taylor both got out of the car and went inside. Gwen’s mouth dropped open as she took in her surroundings - there were dresses upon dresses, and all of them had vintage couture labels. Her hands delicately went to the fabrics as she stroked them, still in awe of what she was seeing. 

“This…all of this is vintage couture,” Gwen said, stating the obvious as she looked back to Taylor, who was just smiling at her. How Blake would know that this would be exactly the dream playground for shopping in her mind was a little scary - how was someone that good? Blake knew she worked in fashion, but this was so beyond thoughtful and perfect she couldn’t even handle it. “I…don’t even know where to begin.” _I don’t even know what Blake likes..._ she thought to herself, sighing a bit. 

“Try on as many as you’d like!” Taylor chimed in, coming to join Gwen at the racks of clothes. “This one is so gorgeous, it would look great on you,” Taylor commented, pulling out a navy short cocktail dress with gold trimmings. “Ohhhh, or this one!” she exclaimed, pulling a tight black dress out into view next to it. 

“Taylor…I have no idea what I’ve gotten myself into,” she said suddenly, a hint of panic in her voice. “I don’t know what he likes. And I mean, oh god, how many girls has he done this for? Really? Would you tell me?” her eyes were searching for answers as they turned to Taylor. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” she said, sweetly taking Gwen’s hand and pulling her a few feet away from the racks to sit down on one of the benches in the shop. “I’m sure this has to be pretty crazy for you. But you should know…Blake has never done anything like this for anyone before. “I’ve been his assistant for almost 3 years, and he never came close to doing something this sweet for his own ex-wife, let alone anyone else. I think you’re special to him, Gwen.”

While her words were calming with that sticky sweet southern drawl, they were also maddening and only served to put her on the edge. “What has he said about me?” she found herself asking, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer. She didn’t think Taylor would give too much away, but she had to try. It was on her mind and she wanted to get the question out in the open.

“It’s not so much anything he’s said about you. It’s just…well, I guess the way he seems to just be happy again for the first time. Like he’s not running on autopilot, and he just has a bit more life in him, I guess.” She paused. “He spent the whole weekend with you and that life in him came back.”

She was processing. This was so much, but at the same time, exactly what she wanted to hear. It calmed her. It excited her. It was such a rush of emotions at once, and wow, she really did like this assistant of his and would have to tell him to keep her around for a while. A small smile came to her features and Gwen couldn’t help but lean forward a bit and hug Taylor briefly, before pulling back and looking at her.

“I'm going to _really_ need your help finding a dress, in that case,” she said, smiling, as her excitement for the night ahead finally started to outweigh the nerves.


	7. Distractions

After a few emotionally overwhelming hours at the dress boutique, Gwen finally emerged with a dress wrapped up in a garment bag after Taylor’s final approval. Even though she was definitely a fashion girl at heart, she had no idea what this party was actually going to be like and she had a suspicion going too high fashion would make her stand out like a sore thumb. She settled for something short, tight, and black, that hugged her in all of the right places and even assisted in pushing her boobs up. It was a win-win, and she felt a lot safer once Taylor’s eyes popped out of her head as she enthusiastically gave her approval.

Hurdle number one - cleared. 

Gwen climbed back into the escalade and soon the car was off, and it was about ten minutes in that she hadn’t bothered to even ask where they were headed off to next. Were they going to the venue? Or a hotel? Is this the part of the fairytale when it ends and someone jumps out of the back seat to tell her it’s all been a joke? 

She took a deep breath and forced herself to clear her thoughts at the last one. It was all so unbelievable, but she was really getting tired of having those insecurities, even though they were necessary to keep herself protected. She couldn’t afford to go through another broken heart again. 

Before she could even manage to speak up, she noticed they were pulling into a parking lot next to a huge, ornate, obviously luxury hotel. It was intimidating to her at just how gorgeous the place was, she couldn’t imagine ever staying at a place this nice on her own. 

“We’ve already checked you in,” Taylor said, pulling Gwen out of her thoughts. She handed her a room key. “The Presidential Suite is on the 20th floor.”

“The…Presidential Suite?” Gwen repeated, a little taken aback. Taylor couldn’t help but giggle a bit over how new all of this was to Gwen. 

“Yeah, what did you think, he was going to put you up at the Motel 6?”

She hadn’t ever been to one of those, but god, she knew if Blake was there she’d probably brave it for him. And there was something about the words ‘put you up’ that just…did something to her. Like a confused zombie, Gwen pushed open the car door and a few attendants came running out to take the dress from her arms that she was cradling, and they went immediately to the back of the escalade to retrieve her bags. She began walking inside, stepping into one of the most gorgeous hotel lobbies she had ever seen. The ceilings were high and vaulted, the trimmings were in gold, and everything looked like it was straight out of the Royal Palace or something. Somehow, she composed herself and floated her way on over to the elevator, used the key to activate the elevator, and pressed the Presidential Suite button.

The elevator climb was maddening. She twitched slightly as her arms crossed, nervous about all of this. She didn’t know where Blake was, and hadn’t even thought to text him that she had landed. Oh god, she was so terrible - he flew her all the way out here and she didn’t even have the decency to text him! In a panic, she pulled her phone out of her pocket and started hitting the screen like a mad woman.

_Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I landed a few hours ago. Taylor took me dress shopping and now I’m at the hotel and I can’t believe I forgot to text you. All of this is so crazy…and I’m sorry! Gx_

A few moments later, her phone buzzed, indicating a return text.

_Taylor texted me when you arrived. I wanted to let you have your girl shopping time. When you get into the suite, go into the bedroom. -B_

Well if that didn’t send her nerves and excitement into a frenzy at the mention of a bedroom, she didn’t know what did.

The elevators opened to a large set of ornate double doors, and she leaned forward with the key and to her surprise, it worked immediately. Not that she had doubted this was her room, but all of this was just so….magical. She pushed the doors opened, and tentatively looked around. She saw a huge living room, an amazing view, a full kitchen, real art on the walls and sculptures scattered about that were probably more expensive than her apartment. She took a deep breath in as she walked around a little, noting the luxurious details. Remembering her instructions, she walked towards the bedroom, another set of double doors, and pushed them open. Her hand reached to the light switch, and once the room was illuminated, she saw Blake standing in front of the bed, that huge dimpled grin smiling right at her, and of course - flowers in his hand.

“Blake!” she squealed, a little more excitedly than she would have wanted, but god, she couldn’t be bothered to give a fuck. She lurched forward at the sight of him and threw her arms around him, leaning her head into his chest. She inhaled, and smelled that mix of delicate cologne and whatever laundry detergent he used that just smelled like Blake to her, and nothing else. Blake chuckled a little bit as he held her against him, the vibrations of which could have sent her into a frenzy.

“Hi sunshine,” he said in that low, southern drawl. Blake placed a kiss on top of her forehead and just held her for a few minutes, standing in silence. Eventually, Gwen tore herself away just enough to look up at him while still staying in his arms.

“Blake Shelton, you are so crazy,” she said, shaking her head and giving him the biggest smile of all time. “First of all, you fly me out here. Then you send me flowers, and make me go dress shopping, and put me up in the nicest hotel I’ve ever seen in my entire life and…god, you shouldn’t have done all of this. I have no idea why you’re doing all of this?”

It slightly broke his heart listening to the last line, as his expression changed a bit into concern as he reached his hand out to rest on her cheek. Gwen seemed to have so many insecurities from her last relationship, and to Blake, she was just perfect and it was startling when they began to show. 

“I missed you like crazy, Gwen,” Blake said, keeping his hand resting delicately on her face. “You have no idea how excited I am to spend the weekend with you.”

His words calmed her, her eyes averted his gaze as she moved and rested her cheek against his chest again, holding onto him. She was probably being clingy, she should probably let go, but she went an entire week without this feeling and it was just so hard.

“I really think you’re a crazy person though,” Gwen said. “I mean…I seriously can’t believe you. You want to take me to a famous people party tonight? Don’t you have famous girls on standby that go to those things with you? I’m just…so normal, and a little screwed up and I just don’t understand why…”

Blake laughed a little bit. “Famous people party?” he inquired. “Oh, woman, come here…” he said, taking a few steps back and sitting onto the bed, pulling her to sit next to him. He intertwined their fingers together and locked his eyes on her, watching her for a few moments. “Baby, you’re really nervous about this, aren’t you?” he said in a concerned tone, mentally kicking himself for the entire day so far. Had he done too much? Had he scared her away? She had come to Oklahoma though, right? That had to be a good sign?

“Why are you nervous, Gwen?”

She took a deep breath. “Am I really going to fit in with your friends?”

“I don’t really care about that…” Blake said, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m more concerned if they’re going to fit in with you. And if they don’t, well, I guess I’m going to have to go find new friends…” he grinned a bit, which made Gwen giggle and even blush slightly. He remained silent for a moment, seeming as if he was dying to ask her something but holding back at the same time. Eventually it got the better of it. “Are you…regretting coming?”

“No!” Gwen said immediately, moving in closer to him and sliding her arms around his waist to hug him. “I missed you. I missed you so much, and I know that’s crazy. I just…nobody has ever done anything like this for me before and I’m just, in shock, I guess? I’m not used to it. And I’m really awkward sometimes if you haven’t caught that about me already.” She grinned up innocently at him on the last part.

“Just don’t leave me tonight, promise?” Gwen asked endearingly. 

“I’d be a damn idiot if I left you alone for a second. You’d have no problem finding someone down here to try and make you a better offer…”

“I think that’s impossible.”

———

After being blessed with an hour or so to spend with each other, Gwen and Blake soon found themselves loading up one of the vans and heading to the venue where Blake was playing. Gwen reached over to take Blake’s hand when she got in the car, and spent the entire car ride just holding his hand, intertwining their fingers together. It calmed her. She was nervous and excited, but he grounded her and made her feel content. All was well.

Once they got to the venue, the place was buzzing with activity. Blake made sure to keep Gwen close by his side as he walked around, checking on various things, looking into his dressing room, and doing other random things as everyone else was working hard to put all of the lights and things together. Gwen really still had no idea what was going on, but all she was really focused on was his hand in hers as they talked and laughed. Taylor soon caught up to them and sat with Gwen on the side of the stage while Blake had to go out to do soundcheck.

Taylor kept her eyes on Blake, taking note of every time he seemed to snap his head over to look for Gwen between songs, and sometimes even during songs. It was as if he thought maybe she was going to make a run for it, or that he was just missing her. It was so obvious, but Taylor also knew Gwen probably had no idea.

“Girl, he has fallen so hard for you,” Taylor said with a laugh. “Look at that goofy face that keeps snapping back over here to make sure you haven’t run away yet…”

“God, I’m sure he’s doing something…official? Like checking lights or something?” Taylor laughed again.

“Gwen, that isn’t his job,” Taylor said. “He’s only thinking of one thing right now…”

“Taylor!” she hissed, giggling and nudging at her to hush her up. She was so thankful that there was someone here besides Blake that she seemed to be getting along with, someone to hang out with even though technically she knew she was getting paid. Taylor just grinned and shrugged to brush it off with an innocent smile. 

Before she even knew it Blake was through with soundcheck, the hours started going by even faster, and his opening act, a new country singer named Brie, was taking the stage for her setlist. Blake and Gwen hung out right off stage to watch the younger girl perform, hand in hand, as they both seemed a little lost in the music. Gwen turned her gaze over to Blake and gave him a small smile.

“Do you get nervous before these things?” she asked him, squeezing his hand a bit.

Blake chuckled a bit to himself, resting his free hand behind his neck as he looked over to her. “Well darlin, not normally, but tonight might be different. I’ve got this really hot girl I’m trying to impress and I’m kind of scared I’m going to screw up my own lyrics...again...” He gave a small grin, as he brought his free hand down to rest it gently on the top of her thigh.

The moment his hand made contact with her bare thigh she felt electricity surge through her body. She felt her body arch towards him, eventually leaning her head against his shoulder as she kept her eyes straight forward on Brie’s performance. If she hadn’t kept focus elsewhere, she would have lost it.

“Sounds like you’re in a tough situation. I hope she doesn’t try and distract you or anything during your performance…” she said, with a hint of a naughty vibe in her voice. Gwen pulled her head up a bit and shrugged her shoulder next to him, causing her bra strap and tank top strap to slide off and down her shoulder as a tease. Her eyes flashed up at him innocently, having no idea where she was getting this sudden bravery to flirt with him so openly. She liked this feeling of flirting and being able to take a little bit of control; it was a stark contrast to her past. 

His eyes watched her as she shrugged her straps down her shoulder, and his eyes locked when he got a little bit of a restricted view underneath her shirt from a certain angle, but he had to force himself to look away. The last thing he needed was to get all hot and bothered and then go and have to play a two hour show.

“Gwen, that’s not nice at all. You’re not playing fair, darlin,” he said, shaking his head a bit and keeping his eyes off of her the best he could. Gwen bit her lip, pulled her straps back up, and moved to straddle over him, sitting on top of him a bit. 

“You’re going to be amazing,” she said, locking eyes with him for a moment before they exchanged mutual smiles. Her arms wrapped around his neck and slowly she went in and kissed him on the lips. His arms rested on the small of her back, pulling her towards him slightly as he deepened the kiss. Gwen pulled back a little and smiled at him again, reaching forward and planting a kiss on his forehead. 

“Blake, five minutes,” someone called from the other side of the stage, to which he sighed.

“Don’t sit here all night and distract me, okay?” Blake said, jokingly, as he grinned and gave her a peck on the cheek before standing up with her. “Taylor tends to hang out on the other side of the stage if you want to sit with her so you’re not alone.”

Gwen got on her tippy toes as she pulled closer to him and whispered in his ear, “No promises on that, cowboy.” Blake had to physically tear himself a way in that moment to make sure that he didn’t have to walk on stage with an erection off of the feeling of her breath against his neck alone. 

The beginning banjo and chords struck and she had a flashback to when she remembered that happening for the first time she couldn’t believe it had only been just over a week, it felt like she knew Blake so much longer than that. Their connection was one that was so instant and rare and usually took months to build, but it had just been there from the start. Part of her felt she was falling way too fast, and the other part of her was so thrilled for the ride. After he got through some of his songs, some of which Gwen was starting to even recognize (she had to admit she had gone to buy his music after the past weekend…), he came to a part in the show where he started talking to the audience.

Part of her was secretly holding her breath to see if he was going to pull someone on stage to dance with him. Her eyes scanned the crowd, she listened to the words, and he was talking about something completely different. She watched as Blake bent down to sign a few records in the front row when these three girls wouldn’t stop screaming at him, but that was it. It hit her in that moment how special she must have been, even though there was no way he could have known it in the moment. She felt relieved that he hadn’t pulled anyone else on stage. She knew they weren’t officially exclusive or anything but wow, at least she didn’t have competition from another front row girl in a different city.

“I have a very special friend that’s visiting me tonight here in Oklahoma City…” Blake’s voice came, which grabbed her attention as it snapped to the stage immediately. He was strumming lightly on his guitar as he spoke, his smile as big as ever. “…and I’d like to take this opportunity to dedicate this next song to her, because I’m pretty sure it’s her favorite song on my set list, despite not actually knowing many, if any songs, and she definitely doesn't know the mechanics of how to _chew tobacco_ …" his head turned quickly to where he felt that Gwen was and he grinned. Gwen’s hands were over her mouth in shock as she smiled back hugely, even though he probably had a hard time seeing her. With only a moment’s further hesitation, he struck into the beginning chords of _Boys Round Here_ , aka Gwen’s “Chewbacca" song. 

Gwen laughed the moment she realized what was happening, and she also noticed Blake was trying to steal glances at her reaction in the middle of the song. This man was so talented, so thoughtful, so generous…and to be honest, so gently powerful all at the same time that it shook her to the core. Part of her wanted to jump his bones and never let go, and the other part of her wanted to run far away because of how scary it all was.

Blake seemed to look back over at her in the midst of all of her overwhelming thoughts, flashing her a quick dimpled grin before looking back to the crowd. Okay, decision made. Jump his bones it would be.


	8. Lace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves! This weirdo is getting on a plane to fly cross country to go to Gwen's two shows in LA this weekend, so that probably means that I won't be able to update until next week. I hope this longer chapter is enough to tie you over in the meantime, and as always, comments are pure love and I'm always open for suggestions on things you want to see! Don't worry, I'm far from being done with this fic :)
> 
> Special thanks to my Greedy Bitches, especially Brie for giving me my new forever all-time favorite analogy.

The entire night was a blur to her. She was caught somewhere in between unexplainable happiness with a dash of nerves, a kind of feeling that was so foreign to her, but just felt so right. Gwen felt like a puddle after the fact that he dedicated a song to her, and she could barely focus on the rest of the performance. She stopped looking over at Taylor beside her, mostly because every time she did Taylor would just grin suggestively and it made her blush and have to look away. She didn’t know what level of loyalty Taylor had to Blake, but she would have been willing to bet the second he got off stage and Gwen wasn’t paying attention, Blake would probably grill her. Taylor seemed so keen on Gwen already, which made her feel more confident, but she had to keep a shred of chill about her demeanor. Or…she had to at least try. 

Before she knew it, Blake was coming off the stage after his final song and he handed his guitar off to a tech as his other arm immediately found a place around Gwen’s waist, pulling her in close. Gwen’s arms returned the hug around his midsection, and she smiled up at him. It wasn’t awkward, which Gwen was surprised about - they could easily communicate feelings without words and it was just so surreal. 

“You even kept yourself fully clothed and goddamn, woman, I couldn’t concentrate on anything tonight,” Blake had leaned down and whispered in her ear, which made Gwen giggle. The way he was so open with her about his feelings and being able to admit them to her with such a sincerity really was such a turn on. 

“Thank you for my song,” she responded lowly, sweetly. Blake’s dimpled grin made another appearance as he wrapped both arms around her in a big hug, completely engulfing her small frame with his. 

“I promise we will get out of this cocktail party as quickly as possible…” Blake said, obviously frustrated that he had to even drag her there to begin with. “I mean, you don’t even have to go if you don’t want to, I just wanted to make sure you had a dress in case you did…”

“Blake, oh my god. Yes I want to go with you. As long as you don’t think it will be some issue with you showing up with a random girl…”

“You’re not a random girl, Gwen.”

Gwen inhaled sharply at that, a little taken by surprise. She knew deep down that she wasn’t a random girl, but hearing the words coming from his mouth so sweetly…he was honestly going to kill her one day if he kept this up.

“Come on. Let’s go get you ready for your first ‘famous people party’…” Blake chuckled, teasing her a bit, as he took her hand and walked them backstage. He dropped Gwen off at a private dressing room for her to get ready, Taylor already waiting for Gwen in there. 

“Hi Gwen!” Taylor greeted when she walked in. Taylor always was so happy and it always sounded like she hadn’t seen her in a year whenever she said hello, which was just so cute. Gwen’s eyes turned to Blake, lingering by the door, as she nodded a bit to let him know that she would be okay. He smiled and pulled the door shut, leaving her in the room with Taylor.

“So we have your dress in here for you, and I also took the liberty to go steal Brie’s make up artist to help freshen you up a bit, if you’re up for it. This is Cat,” Taylor said, gesturing over to the other girl in the room. Cat had a rocker vibe about her, with cool makeup and dark hair, and she definitely reminded Gwen of makeup artists in California. Wow, how she missed California, and what a random thing to find in Oklahoma City. 

“Wow, that’s so thoughtful…thank you. I don’t even know what to say,” Gwen responded, with a smile. She could definitely handle her own cosmetics, but she had left everything back at the hotel like an idiot (god, Blake was such a distraction), and she knew she needed to make a good impression. Cat smiled and reached forward to take Gwen’s hand, bringing her into the chair in front of the large cosmetic mirrors.

About 45 minutes later, Cat had worked her magic and Taylor was unzipping the garment bag with Gwen’s dress in it.

“Whoa, are you trying to give him a heart attack??” Cat exclaimed, grinning at Gwen as the dress was revealed for the first time.

“God I know, right?” Taylor chimed in, laughing a bit. “I basically told her she had to get it, otherwise I was going to buy it for her anyways, drug her, and force it on her.” Gwen just rolled her eyes playfully and shook her head, amused at the comments from these two girls that she barely knew but were making her feel so welcome. 

“Blake Shelton could have any girl with any perfect body in America,” Gwen responded. “At least that’s what I know from my friends…and I know he gets bras thrown at him and people in the crowd screaming at him to come have his babies…” she laughed, thinking back to the fact that her own friend had been the one to do that. “I’m sure he will be able to maintain his composure. I have faith in him. It’s not even that short!” At this point, Gwen had pulled herself out of her concert clothes and she was shimmying the dress up her body. Once it covered her breasts, she held the fabric against her body as she slipped her bra off. Without asking, Taylor came up behind her and began pulling the long zipper up her back.

Cat scoffed, letting out a laugh. “Honey, you’re not leaving much to the imagination,” she replied immediately, laughing a bit. “And that’s going to drive him crazy.”

“Is it too slutty?” Gwen snapped, turning to look at herself in the mirror with a slight look of panic on her face.

“Oh my god, no! Stop! It’s so perfect!” Taylor reassured her. The girl took Gwen by the shoulders and turned her around to face her, forcing eye contact. “I’m serious Gwen, you’re a knockout, and you look perfect.”

Gwen took in a deep breath and before she knew it, her arms went around Taylor and she was hugging her again. “I’m sorry, I know this is weird and I literally just met you today but you’re just so amazing and…thank you. Thank you for being here with me.”

A few minutes later she let go, turned and slipped her four inch heels on, instantly bringing her up to another level of confidence as her height increased. Her hair was tousled and worn down, long blonde locks falling over her shoulders. Her make up was done up just right - not too heavy, but definitely a statement. She emerged from the dressing room, and went to find Blake.

A bit nervous, Gwen knocked on Blake’s dressing room door where she was assuming he was waiting for her. She took a breath in as the door opened, revealing her outfit for him. If it was possible for someone’s jaw to fall onto the floor, it would have happened right in that moment. 

“I’m…going to need you to stay right here…” Blake eventually managed, shaking his head to come back to reality. Gwen looked at him, a bit confused, as he ducked back into the room and grabbed a few things, before returning to the front door. “…if you had gotten another foot into this room we would have never left. Oh my god, Gwen, how do you even look this beautiful? I just saw you an hour ago…and I don’t understand how all of this is possible.” He was dumbfounded, and Gwen was smiling like an idiot and enjoying every minute of it. 

The party was another blur. They entered the small venue, arm in arm, and were immediately greeted with glasses of wine before they were even able to get their foot in the door. Gwen sipped it immediately as she took in her surroundings, a little surprised at how normal this party felt, even if it was a ‘famous people party’. 

She watched him that night. She was mesmerized. He was working the room with such a genuine ease about him and it was such a sight to watch. He made sure to introduce her around to every person that even dared to glance at Gwen, which made her giggle. He was trying so hard to help her fit in and feel comfortable, and between that and the constant replacement of her wine glass by the wait staff, it was coming easy to her. She even got off on her own side conversation with someone who also worked in the fashion industry, and the stranger was floored that Gwen was such a prestigious designer at LUSH GROUP. ‘A very hard job that many girls would kill for’, she said, and Gwen knew how lucky she was in more ways than one. 

Before she knew it, Blake was tugging at her hand to pull off to the side. “Ready to make our secret escape?” he asked with a grin, eyes flashing back to the party. Maybe it was how cute and childish he looked in that moment, or maybe it was the wine that had gotten her buzzed and slightly tipsy, but she giggled and felt brave enough to slide her arms around him and cuddle into him a bit, even though they were still in front of his friends and everyone that seemed to matter in country music. He didn’t even flinch, though; he seemed to be enjoying Gwen’s body up against his as he pulled her closer.

“Yes, cowboy. Take me away,” she responded, with a grin up to him. A moment later, Blake pulled her hand and they were out and off through a side exit door, heading for the escalade. 

After calling for the driver, they climbed into the back of the vehicle and sat together in the backseat. Gwen’s eyes watched out the window as they passed the streetlights, trying to remember places she might have seen earlier on the drive over, but not having a clue where they were. His arms were around her. For the first time in a long time, she felt as if she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

The elevator doors closed behind them. Gwen looked over at Blake, and her body just seemed to draw closer to him without much of a thought. They shared mutual smiles with one another, and it was maddening that they were in the same elevator together. Alone. There was a _ding_ once they reached the 20th floor, and they exited the elevator in silence. Gwen pulled the room key card out of her purse, which let her gain access and open the door. She was a few feet inside, when she realized Blake was still standing at the door. She turned, giving him a questioning look.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, coming back to the door frame. “Don’t you want to come into our room?” She felt a small hit of nerves, wondering what was up with him all of a sudden. Had she just been imagining all of this sexual tension between them all night? Was she insane?

“Your room,” Blake corrected, which just further confused her, so he followed up with explanation. “I didn’t want to be presumptuous, Gwen. I mean, I know we fell asleep together last weekend but…I wanted to make sure you were comfortable and had your own space if you wanted it. I booked myself a room on the floor right below you, considering there weren’t any other rooms on this floor with the suite.”

For the hundredth time on this trip, she was in shock without knowing what to say. His thoughtfulness was literally going to be the death of her. “The Presidential Suite…is a whole lot of space to give to someone,” she began, as her hand went down to hold onto his. She drew in closer to him, her other hand resting on his side as she bent up a bit and spoke quietly into his ear. “Too much space for just one person.” With that, she tugged him into the room with her, quietly closing the door behind them. 

The next thing she knew, Blake’s muscular frame had her pinned up against the wall in the bedroom. Neither of them had even managed to turn on the lights, it was dark but the illumination from the city lights provided enough to see. His mouth went to hers immediately, kissing her with an insatiable hunger that she had never felt before. His arms were around her waist, slowly moving up and down her body as he put a lot of effort into his kissing. It was about to knock her senseless, and in that moment she was just thankful at how much he was holding her up against the wall, just in case her legs gave out and she could avoid having to fall. 

Their make out session intensified, instantly feeling so much more passionate and serious than the one they had a week prior. There wasn’t anything that could stop them now - they weren’t waiting on food delivery, Apollo was in California, and it was the middle of the night. They were alone. And she wanted him so, so badly.

As if on cue from her thoughts, Blake’s hand quickly tugged the zipper on the back of her dress and pulled it down the length of her back. His mouth went to her neck, kissing deeply and sucking, and the fact that she knew some kind of mark would be there in the morning - god, she just needed more and she didn’t give a fuck. Her dress fell to the floor and she was left standing in a skimpy black thong, no bra, and four inch heels. Her breathing was becoming erratic as his hands went around her naked waist for the first time without interference from the dress. 

“Blaaaake…” she breathed, moaning a bit, as he pulled back slightly to look at her. Gwen’s hands pushed off his jacket and she flung it to the ground before greedily grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it a bit forcefully over his head. Blake lurched forward once his shirt was off and began kissing her as he pressed his body into hers again. Gwen’s eyes could have rolled to the back of her head once the feeling of his chest hairs tickled and teased her very hard nipples, and she was starting to get even more desperate as she felt the tension mounting in between her legs. 

Her hands went down to his jeans, and she undid them with ease. For a split second, her eyes flashed up to him nervously, searching for permission to continue. Did he want to keep going like this? Was she what he wanted that night? As if reading her thoughts, Blake ducked his head to the side to the other side of her neck and began kissing her again, assisting with shaking his jeans and boxers off of his body and discarding them to the wayside. 

Blake knew this was going fast, and he knew he should have checked in with her to make sure she was okay and this is what she wanted, but he couldn’t fucking stop himself to save his life. She was in front of him, basically naked and in heels, and if her desperation wasn’t enough to confirm to him that she wanted this just as badly, he would have disowned himself the next morning if he scared her off. But in that moment, he was 99% certain she was just as desperate for this and needing this as badly as he did. 

The sight of his fully naked body in front of her was increasing her heart rate. His muscular body was still pushed up against her and into the wall, her nails delicately stroking down his back, which she felt gave him a shiver. Slowly, Blake’s hands caressed down her shoulders. They continued down through the curves of her hips, his fingers latching onto the tiny string that was keeping her thong clinging to her hips. Blake was stooped down on bent knees, his head with a perfect, direct view of her underwear, and so close she felt his breath against her most sensitive areas through the lace. 

Blake’s eyes tore themselves away from staring right into Gwen’s thong as he looked up at her, a naughty look in his eyes but still asking for permission. God, if that wasn’t a fucking mixed message, she didn’t know what was. Her head was snapped back against the wall, her hips were moving towards him, trying to help the tension and teasing he was building up in her to subside, but it barely did anything. She let out a shaky breath as she moved to the side ever so slightly, pulling her hip in a way that would force him to pull the fabric down her body. She couldn’t speak. She was so close to exploding and he hadn’t even done anything yet.

But god, he really had done _everything_ at the same time.

He took the cue as permission, grinned wickedly and slowly, torturously, pulled the tiny bit of fabric down her legs. Her thighs clenched tightly together once it was removed, searching for something, anything, to help her find a release. Blake brought the thong down to her ankles, and tapped on her leg to pull the heels off of her one by one, slowly helping her to step down onto the carpet. Once her heels were off, the thong came next, and his eyes wandered up her entire body, taking a breath as he saw her completely naked for the first time. It was enough to cause him to stare, almost forgetting that he was crouched on the floor like an idiot in front of her. 

Gwen bit her lip as she felt him staring at her. She was not always one hundred percent comfortable being naked, and had a lot of leftover insecurities because of her last relationship because of it. Gwen had a kid, too, which contributed even more to her thinking she didn’t have the great body that she once did. But one look from Blake down below, he was one step away from looking as if he was worshiping her. It embarrassed her a little, made her blush, but gave her confidence at the same time. 

Blake seemed to snap back to the present. Still remaining crouched, his hands slid up the length of her legs until they rested on her hips. He nudged at her a little bit, and before she could even look down at him in response, to see what he was doing, his tongue pushed itself in between her clenched thighs and he managed to lick her center.

Gwen gasped and jolted at the sensation, eyes widening as her hands flew back against the wall, trying to steady herself. Blake’s eyes flashed up to her, a seductive and successful grin on his face. His hands slid down to her legs again and gently, slowly opened her thighs so that he could gain better access. It was hard though, because the only thing Gwen’s thighs wanted to do was to immediately clench back together, in search of a much needed release. Once Blake was able to keep her open for a minute, he went right into her, massaging his tongue in a teasing manner up and down the length of her center. Realizing that Gwen was so lost in pleasure, his hands went under her to hold her up into the wall as he pulled her legs over his shoulders for balance. She was sitting against his mouth on his shoulders, and she knew she absolutely was not going to last long at this point. 

She whimpered as he went back to her, one of her hands resting on his head and the other against the wall to at least help a _little_ in keeping her own balance but my god, she was gone. He was so quick at finding a maddening rhythm with his tongue as he picked up the pace, Gwen’s hips bucking towards him, begging for it desperately.

“Oh my god Blake please don’t stop…I need you so fucking bad…” Gwen said suddenly, as her gasps and moans became more frequent, indicating that she was getting to the edge. Finally she let out a huge gasp as she pushed gently on his head, feeling her orgasm ripping through her body and sending all of her senses into overdrive.

She snapped back to reality to the sound of her own heavy breathing. Blake had gently sat on the floor, bringing her naked body down from the wall to sit on top of him in a straddling position. Her head was rested against his chest, their arms draped around one another. They sat like that for a few minutes, lost in the moment, before Gwen wrapped her arms tighter around his neck and moved to whisper in his ear.

“I want you inside of me now,” Gwen insisted, her voice low and husky, and having an instant effect as Blake scooped her into his arms and laid her gently on the bed behind them. Gwen felt her back hit the mattress and immediately moved back towards the headboard, squirming under him a bit at the light, accidental touches between them as he moved on top of her. She reached her hand up to the back of his neck, pulling him down more, giving him a deep kiss. Gwen’s legs spread and she wrapped them around him, bucking her hips at him a few times.

“Someone is impatient,” he said as he moaned, not getting over how she felt underneath him. The truth was, he was the most impatient out of the both of them. His hand trailed down the length of her torso and came between her legs, spreading them a bit more, as his fingers soaked in her wetness. “Fuck, baby, that is so fucking hot…” he breathed. 

A moment later he aligned himself with her entrance, pushing himself into her slowly, steadily, even though what he really wanted to do was pound into her hard and take her as his own. Gwen whimpered and moaned, adjusting to the size of him in her, clenching her hand tight on his shoulder as he moved into her deeper. He kept still for a few moments as he let her adjust, breathing heavily as his hand moved to her hip and he started to establish a rhythm. Gwen’s legs clung around his midsection as she kept up pace with him, back arching like a bow without having any release.

In a suddenly energized and brave move, Gwen clenched her legs tighter around him and forcefully pushed Blake to the side, quickly rolling both of them over so she was straddling him, with him still inside of her. She didn’t miss a beat and kept up their established pace and rhythm, her hands grabbing onto his shoulders as she rode him. Sweetly flinging her long, tousled hair off to one shoulder, she bit her lip as his hands grabbed her waist and he began thrusting her into him with more desperation. 

“I’ve always wanted to ride a cowboy,” she said seductively, eyes locking on him as she pushed her hips against him harder. It was so out of character for the sweet, innocent, and sometimes insecure Gwen that those words alone coupled with the next thrust was just the perfect combination to send him into his own orgasm. It was intense, long, and more exhausting than one he had ever remembered previously. Gwen made sure to maintain the tension between them as she got him off, her body spilling on top of his once he was sufficiently finished and almost inanimate, and Gwen feeling even a little faint from exhaustion. 

Their breathing was rough. The sensation of Blake’s chest rising and falling in exhaustion was its own turn on, and she never wanted to move again in her entire life. Eventually both seemed to calm down, him beginning to soften a bit inside her as she rolled off of him to lay next to him. He reached a bit beyond her and grabbed at the comforter on the bed, pulling it over both of them as Gwen snuggled in closer to him, head against his chest, leg resting between his. She let out a deep breath, a content sigh, as his arms came around her once more.

“I don’t think you’re going to need that other room, cowboy,” Gwen said softly, right before she began drifting to sleep, happier than she had felt in such a long time.


	9. Sketches

There was something about Blake’s presence that just caused her to have the best sleep ever.

Though it was true that he had utterly exhausted her the night before, it seemed to be a common theme even when they just fell asleep next to one another. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced, and it was daunting with how that feeling felt to her. She wanted to hold onto this new thing and never let it go, but at the same time she was so scared over all of it being way too good to be true. These kind of feelings couldn’t last forever.

Could they?

The stark difference between sleeping next to him on the tour bus and the way she woke up with him in this hotel room was obvious. She had fallen asleep laying partially on top of him, naked body cuddled up close and with his arm draped across her back, holding her closer to him. The way his chest hairs felt against her silky smooth skin when she shifted was almost as intoxicating as the pleasure he had given her the night before. Being able to keep her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat only intensified that effect. 

Gwen could have stayed laying like that for hours, but she knew inevitably that reality would call and both would have to move eventually. Being oh so gentle, she shifted slightly and slid up a bit and out of his arms, moving to the opposite side of the bed and quietly standing up, clenching onto one of the sheets lazily around her. She reached down and pulled the covers up and over Blake more, knowing that he was likely exhausted from the show he played the night before. Her eyes flashed over to the clock to reveal that it was just past 9 in the morning, which considering she was used to having a 2 1/2 year old running around, was quite a late start for her. She slipped into the large bathroom and turned the shower on, taking a few moments to wash her body leaving her hair piled on top of her head and out of the water. She washed her make up off from the night before, leaving a bare face, and slipped into one of the plush hotel robes, soon returning to the bedroom.

She crossed the room and pulled out her executive bag to retrieve her sketchpad and her glasses. Gwen crawled back onto the bed, snuggling back against the plush pillows as she drew her pencil from the notebook spiral and began to get to work.

After about 45 minutes, Blake shifted from the other side of the bed and Gwen’s eyes flashed over to him at the sudden movement. His body rolled over onto his side facing her, and he seemed a little confused for a moment as she watched his arm reach out, as if searching for something. _Searching for me…_ It made her heart swell at the sight of him reaching out for her, and just as she reached her own hand over to hold onto his, his sleepy eyes opened and locked onto her.

“Good mornin’” that maddening, southern morning voice of his came, accompanied with a small grin. She never thought she could get enough of it.

“Hi,” Gwen said softly, almost shyly, as she returned the eye contact lock with him. Blake moved to close the distance between them and shifted up a bit, leaning his head against Gwen’s shoulder and trying to get a peak of her sketchpad. 

“What are you up to darlin?” he asked, and once Gwen saw that he was trying to sneak a peak, she shook her head and started closing the cover to not reveal her work.

“Oh no no no…these aren’t done,” she said shaking her head and biting her lip again. 

“Aw come on, I want to see…” Blake probed, flashing his dimpled grin up at her, eyes still filled with a bit of sleep.

“My designs are really personal. I don’t know,” she admitted, turning her gaze downwards and shifting a bit.

“Aren’t you some kind of big deal fashion designer though?” he questioned, which made her laugh a little bit as she looked back to him. 

“I mean…kind of…but…” she stammered, trying to come up with an explanation. She sighed a little bit and looked down over at him. “It takes me forever to get something right. I’m such a huge perfectionist when it comes to my designs and they usually suck 90% of the time. I work hard at it and do a lot of editing, so all of this is just playing around and nothing is final…”

“Okay, babe, it’s okay…you don’t have to show me,” Blake said, leaning up to place a quick kiss on her cheek. That alone must have tore down a wall, because soon her body moved to face him a little more and she looked straight at him.

“Don’t judge me,” she said quietly, timidly, as she slowly passed the sketchbook into his lap, biting her lip. It was actually a huge thing for her to trust someone to look at her sketches. She was used to it at work, but showing people her craft in real life when nothing was finalized and before a bazillion edits from her boss was a little intimidating. She thought back, and frankly, she hadn’t let anyone see such a thing before now.

Blake’s eyes went up to hers for a moment as the sketchpad was passed into his lap, asking for permission a second time to make sure Gwen was really sure. She nodded. He carefully opened the sketchbook and revealed a lot of very detailed drawings. He began flipping through the pages slowly, showing design after design of incredible work. Hell, he didn’t know anything about fashion - he wore the same five shirts alternated between days and wash cycles - but what he did know was that she was so amazingly good at her art, and that much was obvious. 

“Gwen, these are incredible…” was all he could say at first, as he stopped on a particularly detailed navy ball gown with gold trim and a masquerade type theme. He looked at it for quite a while and it made a nerve in her twinge as her careful eye went over the sketch. As he was looking at it, she moved and leaned over in front of him and started messing with the shading of one of the sleeves, trying to ‘fix’ whatever problem she probably imagined in her head. 

“It’s a work in progress. And there’s even a lesser chance that they’ll come to be anything,” she said, glossing over them. “I have to produce hundreds of sketches like that along with a few other junior designers and out of 500 plus pieces, less than 50 actually make it into the collection.”

“Don’t gloss over your talents, Gwen. I admit I don’t know anything about this stuff, but I can tell that you’re really good.” He looked up to her as he spoke, and flipped a few more pages. His eyes were so used to flipping through dresses and sketches of the female form, that his attention was immediately caught once he suddenly saw a male form on one of the pages. He hesitated on the drawing for a moment as he looked at the outfit, jeans and cowboy boots, and a sharp jaw that looked very similar to his own. His face lit up as he realized what was on the page, and his attention immediately went to Gwen.

“Is this supposed to be me?” he said grinning, much like a five year old on Christmas morning. It was almost too much for her to handle as she blushed slightly, reaching her hands out to pull the sketchbook away from him. 

“I think that’s enough show and tell for today,” she said, closing it.

“That is me, isn’t it?”

“Well…”

Blake didn’t give her a chance to speak anymore and turned towards her, arm sliding around her midsection and pulling her into a deep kiss. He didn’t think that she was going to get more out anyways with the way she was stammering and already blushing. Thankful for the change of subject, her hands went to rest on his cheeks as she held onto him, deepening the kiss. He moved her down, her back flat against the mattress, as he continued to kiss her. Slowly, he dragged one of his hands down her side and tugged at the tie on the robe she was wearing, letting it fall to her sides to reveal her smooth, freshly cleaned body. The sides of the robe were lingering on her chest, hiding part of her body as Blake slowed their kisses enough to pull back for a moment to take in the view. 

“God, you’re incredible,” he said huskily, as his hand slid beneath the plush fabric and up to her hip bone, grabbing onto it slightly as his body leaned down against her again to continue kissing her. Gwen deepened the kiss, picking up the pace a bit as she rocked her hips up towards him. His light touches against her were sending chills down her spine. Blake swiftly moved part of the robe off of her, revealing her naked body in its entirety. Blake continued, pushing the robe off of her shoulder, and he seemed to hesitate and stop as an amused smile played across his features.

“What?” Gwen asked in a whisper, suddenly feeling self conscious, her eyes locking into his.

“That’s…oh my god, Gwen,” was all he could manage, as his eyes started intently at her neck and shoulders. A smug, proud look came to his face all of a sudden as he reached a finger down to trace along the inside of her neck. Gently, he moved forward and placed delicate kisses, which caused Gwen to giggle a little over the tickling sensation she felt. “Does that hurt?”

“Does what hurt? I’m so confused,” Gwen responded, sitting up a bit on her elbows.

Blake looked behind them over to the dresser, nodding his head over towards the mirror as if indicating for her to look into it. He sat up a little bit so she could as well, and as soon as she saw her reflection in the mirror, she gasped a little bit and her hand went over her mouth.

“Oh my god,” she said, her eyes going back between Blake and her shoulder. Her neck was covered in marks and bruises from the night before, and after a moment of stunned silence, she couldn’t help but giggle a little bit and look back to Blake. He grinned proudly at her, moving on top of her a little bit to give her a kiss.

“I’ll be very gentle, I promise,” he whispered, as his hand went to grab onto her hip bone again, moving on top of her even more as he laid her back down. Gwen nodded, blushing a little bit and giving him a small smile. Before he laid her down completely, Blake shrugged the robe off of her other side completely, finally able to see her entire naked frame against the mattress without obstruction. 

“Sometimes I like it rough, you know,” Gwen said huskily, a playful grin on her face. It took him a moment to recover from that one, the utter shock of her words lingering in the air.

He immediately straddled her, still fully naked himself, bending down to kiss her slowly. Gwen’s hands went to rest on his hips as she slid her tongue into his mouth, his body laying on top of hers as he deepened the kiss even more. He broke the kiss off and began kissing down her chest, soon finding himself taking in one of her hard nipples under his tongue, teasing it. He had found out pretty quickly the night before that soft, delicate touches there seemed to be a huge turn on, and he was going to enjoy torturing her a bit.

Gwen moaned at the contact, her legs opening a bit to more comfortably allow Blake to lay in between them. While his tongue was teasing one nipple, his finger trailed up her side and lightly began to play with her other. He inhaled, the familiar scent of her body wash making him feel so comfortable in that moment, so familiar. He continued, causing Gwen to bite her lip and wiggle around desperately underneath him. There was something about his weight on top of her, literally restraining her down to the bed, that was so sexy and such a turn on. 

“How rough do you like it sometimes?” Blake asked suddenly, breathing onto her damp skin which was a hell of a sensation all on its own. Gwen’s eyes widened, surprised at the question. “Tell me what you like, Gwen.”

Her sudden feeling of confidence was dashed at his probing question, and she let out a nervous exhale as her eyes shot up to the ceiling, feeling her cheeks turn red as she bit her lip again. Blake continued teasing her nipples for a few moments before pulling his gaze up to her, noticing her change in demeanor. He snaked up her body a little bit, planting a slow kiss on her lips.

“You don’t have to be shy or embarrassed,” he reassured her, stroking her arm a bit as she wiggled a little underneath him. Her eyes met his for the first time and she scrunched her face, covering her eyes with one of her hands.

“It’s stupid,” she mumbled, shaking her head. Gwen wasn’t used to talking about these kinds of things and she really didn’t know how. In hindsight, she realized that her relationship with her ex was terrible, as they were never open about talking about sex and it always just seemed to be something they did for him, whatever way he wanted it, when he wanted it, how he wanted it. The fact that someone was asking her what she wanted was a new concept.

“Tell me what you want,” he repeated, as his mouth went to her neck and placed a few delicate kisses there, his hands holding onto her hip bones as he brought her to him a bit more. 

“I…uhh…” she began nervously, but then shook her head and decided against it. “Blake, it’s nothing.”

“But it’s obviously something,” he responded, his breath against her neck. “Have you…ever done this ‘something’ before?”

“No,” she responded, with one quick shake of her head. 

“Why not?” he asked.

Gwen took in a deep breath as Blake planted a few more delicate, maddening kisses on her neck. She felt so comfortable with him, more so than anyone she had been with before, and even she was surprised by the honesty she was about to give him. “Nobody has ever asked me what I’ve wanted before,” her voice was small, maybe a bit timid. 

“I’m asking now,” he replied. “Gwen, you have no idea how many things I want to do to you…how often I want to do things to you…how hard or delicate I want to do things to you…god, I’ve probably already thought about whatever you’re wanting to try. I want you to be comfortable. But I also want to give you the pleasure of trying something that you haven’t before.”

“Blake, I haven’t been with a lot of guys…”

“…Gwen, do you realize how much of an attractive quality that is about you?” he cut her off, trying to ward off the rest of that insecurity of hers.

“But is it really? I mean, I don’t know how to…I mean, I know how to have sex, but I feel like lack of experience really limits me and god, I have no idea what kind of things you’re used to and if you’re going to get bored of me because I’m so vanilla and —“ Blake cut her off, after letting her ramble along for way too long, by pulling her head up to him a bit and sliding his tongue down her throat. After a long, slow kiss, he tested the waters and laid her head back on the pillow gently, watching her let out a breath she probably hadn’t realized she was holding in. 

Blake chuckled slightly as he looked down at Gwen, who looked all cute when she was rambling and nervous. “What? Blake, why are you laughing at me?”

“Because you have no idea how adorable you are and how much of a turn on it is,” he replied smoothly, kissing her again.

“I’m serious Blake. I’m vanilla,” she said adamantly. “And you’re going to get bored of vanilla.”

“Well I guess there’s only one thing we can do to help this situation then…” Blake responded. His eyebrow raised, looking down at her. “I guess you’re going to have to tell me what you want to try, so we can save you from your own vanilla-ness.” 

The words lingered in the air for a bit before both of them started chuckling, easing the mood. 

“Handcuffs,” she said suddenly, unexpectedly, as Blake’s eyes widened a bit looking down at her in surprise. 

“Really?” the grin on his face only grew wider at her confession, and she started getting a little flustered and looked away. 

“You’re judging me!” Gwen exclaimed, suddenly embarrassed. 

“No, baby, I’m definitely not judging you,” Blake said firmly, shaking his head a bit. His arms trailed up and down her sides a bit, lost in thought for a moment, before focusing back on her. “I mean, holy fuck, Gwen. Do you realize how hot that sounds?"

Blake leaned forward and kissed her softly, bringing her attention and gaze back to him before doing so. “Vanilla is my favorite flavor, by the way,” he whispered in between soft kisses on her lips. Gwen pulled back a bit and bit her lip, her eyes locking with his. “Especially because vanilla reminds me of you already.” She gave a small smile, and reached up to kiss him.

“We can go buy some, you know. We’ve got the day off…” Blake said, voice trailing a bit. He fell onto his back on the mattress, and pulled Gwen up on top of him to cuddle and rest on his chest. She propped her chin in her hand as she looked at him, scrunching her face a little bit, obviously wavering. 

“We are going to go buy handcuffs today, Gwen,” he said more definitively, which caused her to crinkle her nose and smile a little bit. There was something about the forcefulness of his voice that excited and turned her on over the prospect. She was a little nervous, sure, but for some reason she felt more trusting of Blake than anyone else in her past and there had to be something to say for that, right?


	10. Jets

“Blake, don’t they just sell them at Target or something? Or the grocery store?”

He chuckled at her. She really wished he would stop doing that at times like this. “No, baby. They don’t sell handcuffs at the grocery store…” he was shaking his head and trying to hold back laughter at this point. 

Her body was drawn in towards him naturally her arms wrapped and clinging a bit to one of his arms. They were standing in the parking lot of a giant sex emporium store, and this was the last place she ever imagined she would end up.

“But Blake…why is it so big?”

“I seem to recall you asking me the same question last night…”

“Blake! Oh my god! You’re torturing me with sex jokes right before you’re about to drag me into a sex store! It’s not funny!”

At this point, Blake graduated from chuckling slightly at Gwen’s innocence to full on laughing about the situation and how uptight she seemed about it. When she whined about his sex jokes, it was just the cutest thing in the world, especially because he was joking with her. Gwen buried her face into his arm as she let him get out his laughter.

“Aww, baby…” he said, his laugher subsiding as he slid his arm around her waist to bring her body right up next to his. “Don’t be nervous. I’ll be in there with you the whole time.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” she said, pointedly, raising an eyebrow at him. Blake knew her weakness, though, and simply flashed a grin and those adorable dimples for a few moments, which seemed to instantly soften Gwen’s features and expressions, eventually looking down and away. Her arm went around his back, finding her way into the spot that just fit her body between his arm and torso so perfectly. “Ok, lets go,” she mumbled, urging him forward with her a bit as they began walking. 

Blake opened the door to the store with his free hand and they walked inside. Gwen remained clinging onto his side as they began walking the isles, almost as if they were in a bad part of town and she needed protection. Blake thought it was endearing how innocent she was. He watched her eyes fall upon the various sex toys they encountered - they were surrounded by various vibrators and dildos on the wall, and it was almost as if Gwen was staring at them.

“Have you ever tried a vibrator?” Blake whispered down into her ear, and she automatically shook her head and avoided his eye contact. He stopped the two of them in the middle of the isle, reaching out for a pink one on the shelf and placing it in her hands. Gwen looked down at it as if someone had just tried to hand her a snake. And she was terrified of snakes. 

“I think it could be pretty hot if you tried to use one on yourself…as long as you would let me watch,” he said in a low voice. The words resonated with her and she bit her lip and handed it back to him. “I’m okay thanks.”

“Gwen…look at me…”

It took her a moment, but her gaze finally made its way up to Blake’s.

“Are you okay?” his voice seemed concerned, and he tilted his head ever so slightly at her.

“I’m okay,” she said nodding, gravity pulling her back up to cuddle on his side again. “I’ve just never done these things before, I’m so bad at this!” Her cheeks felt a little hot at her confession, and both of his arms went around her.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do here. And I want you to be comfortable,” he said, placing a kiss on her forehead. “But I know you really want to try those cuffs…am I right?” He nudged her a little bit, smiling. “Tell me I’m right, Gwen.” He reached out and took the vibrator from her hand and put it back on the shelf as she wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered in his ear.

“I want you to tie me up, Blake. I want you to tease me. A lot."

She pulled her head back a little to look at him in the eyes, seductively but sweetly biting her lip at him. That alone was driving him crazy. He pulled her body closer to his and his hands went down to her ass, holding her on him. 

“Come on,” he said eventually, nudging her to walk forward with him, as they went down the next few isles. Finally, they came to an isle with an entire wall of handcuffs and restraints. Gwen stood in front of it as her eyes took in all of the different products - there was everything from traditional handcuffs, to ones with pink fuzz, to ankle restraints, and everything in between. She was a little overwhelmed. Blake came and stood right behind her, leaning his body a bit towards her as his hands rested on her hips. He shifted a bit, moving her shirt to the side so his hands were in contact with her bare skin instead of her clothes. 

“Take your pick,” he encouraged her. 

“Blake,” she breathed, letting out a sigh. “I have no idea. I need help.”

“No, you don’t need help,” he retorted. “Pick out what you want me to use on you, Gwen.”

The way he was so demanding, the way he said her name after it - all of it just did her in. Her eyes kept scanning. She nervously shot him a look, and his hands gently massaged her bare skin on her sides. Gwen couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed over the situation, but she mustered up the courage to move forward and pull a pair of cuffs off the wall.

“These,” she said, handing them to Blake for approval. She played it safe, settling on a solid black pair as she suddenly decided she was not a pink fuzzy handcuffs type person. Who knew that would be a decision she would have to make in her life. 

“What about those?” Blake questioned, gently massaging his fingers against her. “Say it.”

She let out a breath, as she moved back a little bit, wiggling her butt into him with a grin on her face. “I want you to restrain me with these.” Her eyes then went back to the wall and surprisingly, she leaned forward and grabbed one more thing, and also handed it to Blake.

“Ankle restraints?” he choked out, shocked over how forthright she had been about it. He was grinning at her, clearly getting excited, and she couldn’t help but laugh a little bit. 

“I know I get fidgety and I don’t stay still!” she tried explaining herself as her hands came to cover her face. His hand reached up, tearing her hands away from her face and leaning in for a deep, slow kiss. 

“You are so fucking adorable,” he said in between kisses.

“Doubt that.”

“You should trust me on that.” His arm hooked around her waist and they started walking together towards the front of the store to pay.

“Close your eyes,” Gwen instructed. eyes looking up to Blake.

“What?” he said, looking down at her.

“I want to get something else but I don’t want you to see yet,” she said. That was something he couldn’t resist, and he turned around to face the wall for a few minutes as he heard Gwen take a few steps away, fumble around with something, and shove it at the cashier behind him. “Ok, you can look now.” Her face was lit up with a bit of a teasing grin, as she broke eye contact and turned back to the cashier. 

“You’re really not going to tell me what else you got?” Blake said, disappointed, as he swiped his credit card.

“It would ruin the surprise. You’ll be okay to wait,” she said, shrugging and nudging him a bit. Hand in hand, they walked out of the store together and climbed in the back of the giant escalade. Once they settled inside, Gwen couldn’t help but let out a huge yawn, her one hand lightly covering her mouth as she did so. 

“Aww babe,” Blake said, catching her yawn from the corner of his eye. “You’re really tired, aren’t you?”

“I have no reason to be! I wasn’t the one that played a full concert last night,” she said, shaking her head. God, sometimes her stamina to stay awake was just shot with how rundown she was as a single mother. “I guess you’re partially, if not fully to blame, though, too,” she added, poking a finger into his rib and giggling a little. Blake chuckled, his arm coming down around her to pull her into him.

“Well, how about this then,” he mused. “Instead of taking you out to lunch…why don’t we just go back to the hotel? We can get room service ordered in…and I did notice there was a private jacuzzi…”

Gwen thought about it for a minute, closing her eyes slightly as she liked feeling and concentrating on the vibrations in his chest from when he spoke. She flashed a tired smile up at him and yawned a little again, nodding her response. “If you don’t think that’s the lamest thing in the entire world to do….well, then yes please.”

“Hanging out with you isn’t lame, Gwen. It’s all I want to do. I don’t care where we are. We could literally just lay on the couch all day and I would be perfectly content.”

——  
“What do you want from room service?” Blake asked, passing the heavy menu across the table and over to Gwen. Her delicate hand clenched the menu and opened it, suddenly faced with a variety of choices. She moved over a bit on the couch near him, putting the menu in between their laps.

“Mmmm…they have so much…” she said, flipping a few pages. “I don’t know. What are you going to get?”

“Probably not something you want to eat,” he replied with a chuckle. 

“They have grilled cheese! With tomato soup!” Gwen said excitedly, pointing it out on the menu to him.

“Yeah, on the kids menu?”

“I don’t care. Grilled cheese with tomato soup sounds so much yummier than the rest of the menu. You can’t deny that.”

“I guess it would be hard to,” Blake said with a laugh, pulling the menu off and putting it back down on the table. He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the lips. “I’ll take care of ordering. Why don’t you go turn the jacuzzi on and I’ll meet you out there?” Gwen kissed him back and nodded, heading outside.

Once she turned the jets on, she delicately inched her toe into the water to test it, waiting a few moments before fully letting herself down into the water to let it cover her completely. She moved her back up against one of the jets, her head slowly relaxing back onto the side and her eyes closing a bit. She took a deep breath in, and let it out. It was one of those quiet moments in the calm of a storm where she was finally realizing what was happening in her life. She was starting to fall for someone again, and it all happened so fast. He flew her to see him. They were sharing a hotel room, and last night was hands down the best sex she had ever had in her life. Just thinking about him going down on her made her bite her lip - whether it was in nervousness or anticipation, she wasn’t sure. It was the first time she was able to take it all in and realize that she felt like she had no idea what she was doing. It was the first time the intimacy of it all was scaring her. It was the first time she started thinking about Gavin, her past relationships, and how messed up they were. How angry she was over the entire custody situation with Apollo, and how her life had ended up where it was. How she found herself in a loveless, controlling relationship that she narrowly escaped. It was overwhelming. 

She didn’t even realize when Blake had come outside and slipped into the tub with her. Her eyes were fixated on something nonspecific in the distance, the only feeling she physically felt was of the jets behind her. His hand went to her shoulder as he came to the side of her, which finally pulled her attention to him. He shot her a confused, but comforting look.

“What’s the matter?” he asked gently. Without meaning to, she shifted away from him, letting his hand drop off of her shoulder, as she turned to face him. He was a little shocked by the gesture, but still kept his concern focused on her.

“What are we doing, Blake?” she asked quietly. Her eyes lost contact with his as she moved herself back up against the wall and looked down. Her sudden change of demeanor shook him a little, and instead of forcing anything he sat back quietly and observed her. He could tell she was wrestling with something internally, and it seemed to be one hell of a struggle.

“Gwen?”

At the sound of him saying her name, a tear fell silently down her cheek as her arms remained crossed. She sniffed a little bit as a second one fell down her cheek. It was as if just then that she realized she had started tearing up, as her fingers came quickly to her eyes as she tried to wipe the evidence away and compose herself. Blake felt like he was in physical pain being that far from her and just watching her. He felt the air caught in his lungs as he dared to move forward slowly, his hands resting on her shoulders.

“Baby, talk to me.”

His voice was sweet, low, and comforting. Gwen shook her head a bit as she wiped at her eyes again, briefly looking up to Blake and hating herself already for making this perfect guy worry about her for no reason. “I’m psychotic, I swear, you can just ignore me when I get like this.”

“Oh my god, no. I’m not going to ignore you…not when you’re upset. I can’t. Why would you tell me to ignore you?”

“Because it’s what I’m used to,” was all she could say, even though she probably didn’t mean to say it. “I can handle things on my own. I’ve had to handle everything on my own.”

A pause, before she blurted out something completely from left field.

“Do you want me for more than just sex?”

“Wh—what?” Blake stammered, taking a breath in and continuing to look at her.

“I can’t believe I just said that,” she said, shaking her head, and getting up to leave. Blake reached his arm out and took her by the hand, pulling her gently back towards him. It wasn’t forceful, she could have escaped if she wanted to, but it was enough of a gesture for her to know he wanted her to stay. She let him pull her to his lap, and he gently lifted her chin so that they would make eye contact.

“Where is all of this coming from?” he asked, as he quickly wiped a new tear from her eye.

“Blake, I’m such damaged goods. I have no idea why you want to spend time with me. I have a kid. I went through a horrible divorce and…and..” she took in a shaky breath, closing her eyes which forced a few more tears down her cheeks before she opened them, “…and I don’t know if I know how to let someone love me. Because I didn’t have love in my first marriage. And I’m scared. I’m freaking out. And I like you so much and last night - this entire weekend - is just amazing and I know we made this big deal today to go shopping but…” she cut off, only because she lost her breath through her fast talking and she needed to catch it, “…I don’t think I’m ready to go there yet because it just reminds me of all these horrible things and I feel so stupid for mentioning it and now freaking out about it.” She swallowed, ending her monologue. The only thing she was hoping for at this point was that he wasn’t staring at her like she was a crazy person. It took her a few long minutes before forcing her gaze up to him. What was was met with was concern; caring, and understanding. 

“Are you…talking about the handcuffs?” he asked gently, to which she nodded. “Honey…” was all he said, as his big strong arms went to close around her in a hug. She seemed to sniffle and a few more tears fell as her head went to his chest and he just held her in silence for a while. Once she was calmer, he spoke again.

“I’m sorry if I forced the situation on you,” he said gently.

“Blake! You didn’t. I swear, you didn’t. Please don’t think that - it would make me said if you thought that.”

“Gwen we are NOT going to do anything you do not want to do,” he said firmly. “I don’t care that we bought them already. They’re not coming out of the bag until you’re ready. Or if you never want to use them, they will stay in the bag. I know your world got rocked by that asshole in the worst way possible. All I want to do is show you love. Be with you. And I know all of this is so new and it’s fast but that doesn’t mean we have to be fast. You are not damaged goods. You have the sweetest personality and are the most down to earth woman I’ve ever met. I don’t want to ruin that - and I will wait. We’ve already had sex, but if you need to slow down there too, I will wait.”

His words made her want to cry even more, but because of opposite reasons. Gwen was clinging to his chest as she felt this weight lifted off of her.

“I’m just not used to this,” she whispered. “I’m not used to feeling something for someone who…who makes me feel so safe.” She let out a breath. “Gavin was a control freak. He controlled everything. He demanded everything. And I got to the point where I had nothing left to give, so he cheated and left. I wasn’t good enough for him. I wasn’t sexy or pretty enough for him. I wasn’t adventurous enough for him. It was always something. And I’m so scared that we will get to a point where I’m not any of those things for you, either.” Her insecurities were on display for him. And somehow, he was still sitting right here with her, holding her through them.

“If you need some space, I still have the second room booked,” Blake offered, trying to read what she needed.

“No,” Gwen responded rather quickly. “I don’t want that. I just…I need it a little slower. And I’m sorry. It just totally sucks because I want to do these things with you and I don't know why I get so scared. I haven't been lying all day long, I swear. I wanted to open the bag and have a good time with you tonight...I hate how fucked up I am sometimes.”

Blake placed a kiss on the top of her forehead and held her. Eventually, he settled back against the jets of the hot tub and held Gwen by his side, her head resting on his shoulder. When he physically felt Gwen’s body calm and relax, his did as well. She reached up a bit and planted a delicate kiss on his lips, holding eye contact with him for a few moments.

“What was that for?” he asked.

“For staying. For being so amazing to me even though I know I’m really insecure and scared sometimes."

"You don't have to apologize to me. I hate that you think you have to, or that you've had to in the past. Breaks my heart."

"Can we just stay here together for a while? I just want to be with you right now."

Blake gave a small smile down to her and squeezed her a little. "Nothing I would love more than that, darlin."


	11. Blinded

“I want to take you somewhere tonight…if you’re up for it.”

The vibrations of his voice startled her a bit, as Gwen had found her way onto Blake’s lap on the couch an hour before and neither of them had spoken much - they were just enjoying being with one another. A little sleepily, Gwen pulled her head off of his chest and looked up to meet his eyes, giving a small smile.

“I’m not tired, I’m just so relaxed, I promise,” she said, through a yawn that escaped from her mouth. He tightened his grip around her waist and pulled her a little closer, gently stroking her side over the plush robe she was still wearing. He chuckled a little and placed a soft kiss right on her forehead. 

“Are you sure about that?” he asked, always being one to make sure. That quality about him sent her heart into a tailspin, but it wasn’t exactly something she was used to, either. A moment later, she moved from his side, swinging her leg over him gently to sit on top of him. Her arms slid around his neck, and his around her waist to rest on the small of her back. Their eyes locked again, and there was just something about the fire that created that made her stomach flip. Her eyes turned a little uncertain, as her mind began to wander.

“Talk to me,” he encouraged softly, not ever being one to come off as pushy or insistent. 

“I’m okay, I promise,” she said nodding, moving up to him a little bit. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, right before placing a soft kiss on top of his lips. She pulled back a little bit. “I’m just always in my own head, I guess. That’s part of the damage I was telling you about.”

“I have my own insecurities too, you know,” Blake responded, as he began tracing circles delicately on her back. 

Gwen’s eyes widened. “Well you’re really good at hiding them. And I’m really horrible at hiding mine. Opposites attract, I guess?”

She noticed his demeanor changed visibly, as he wasn’t looking her in the eyes any longer. She started to get a little worried about him suddenly. Gwen gently rocked her hips a little once into him to try and get his attention, which seemed to bring him out of his daze and he looked up to her and gave her a small smile. Tentatively, she leaned forward and placed a long, slow kiss on his lips. It wasn’t about lust or want in that moment - it felt like it was about healing something that she had even yet to discover. 

Her lips pulled back slowly away from his, and she rested her forehead against his and continued to look at him in the eyes for a moment. “What are your insecurities, Blake?” she asked softly, as she bent her neck slightly to kiss onto his cheek before pulling back to sit on him and meet his eyes. 

Blake reached out and stroked the length of her blonde hair as they sat in silence. 

“It’s okay to talk to me. I mean, you know everything about me but you always seem to downplay yourself,” Gwen continued, her voice sweet as she was trying to give him a safe space to tell her what was on his mind. “I don’t want you to downplay yourself."

“I just had a pretty horrible divorce, too, I know how those go,” Blake began, and he seemed to be wrestling with how to even begin expressing himself to her. It wasn’t something he was used to - someone truly caring as much as Gwen seemed to. “It’s really hard to be in a marriage with someone who is more married to her career. Someone who takes more pleasure in tearing me down on things rather than trying to build a life up. I feel like I gave my entire life to her in all ways, and at the end of the day, it wasn’t enough for her. I mean, she even used to throw scathing remarks at me when I was a little heavier. Wouldn’t shut up until I would go to the gym and eat my vegetables. Too much steak on my bones, she would say. Ironic how that weight seemed to go away once she walked out the door.” Such irony. He couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle, as he shook his head. 

Gwen let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in and just gave him the most genuine, sympathetic look. Her heart was visibly breaking as she listened to Blake talk about his divorce. He seemed to go off in his own head for a moment before his face wrinkled a bit, observing how Gwen seemed to be upset about it.

“Hey…” he nudged at her. “Don’t be upset for me, darlin’. It was something I had to go through and even though it was hell, I’m stronger for it.” He reached forward a bit and planted a kiss on her lips, which she returned immediately. 

Gwen pulled back a moment later and looked at him in the eyes, her hands moving up to his cheeks as she gave him another confused, saddened look. “I don’t understand how someone could treat you that way. Blake…” she shook her head, still in disbelief. “You are the most caring, attentive, patient, understanding…basically the closest thing to perfect I’ve ever met.” She kissed him deeply, not allowing him to get a word in edgewise, as she felt he might potentially protest or downplay her words. Her hands slid down and around his midsection as she bit her lip slightly, making eye contact with him. “You’re so sexy, too, and god, your body is such a turn on for me. But I don’t have a perfect body…hell, I’ve had a kid. Do you know how much that ruins it?” She smiled a bit, trying to make a joke as she scrunched her nose at him playfully.

Blake couldn’t help but chuckle. “I’m still not sold on the fact that you gave birth to Apollo, because you’re fucking flawless.” He moved forward and kissed her deeply, pulling her closer to him.

“Blake?” Gwen said between kisses, before they stopped and were looking at one another again. 

“Mmm?”

“Take me anywhere you want tonight. I’ll follow you there.”

——

Tentatively, she reached out in front of her, searching for the familiar black metal of the truck Blake had on rental. His hands were at her hips, guiding her slowly through the parking lot, her eyes covered in a blindfold. 

“Almost there…” Blake encouraged, directing her movements towards the passenger seat.

Gwen giggled a little bit as she let her body move with his hands guiding her. “Blake why do I need this on?” she asked, biting her lip a bit and looking towards him even though she couldn’t see him. 

“What happened to _I’ll follow you anywhere_?” he teased, reaching forward to open the passenger side door and taking her hand to help her up into the truck. 

“You can’t follow what you can’t see!” Gwen said, not able to keep a straight face as she laughed a little again. It was silent for a moment. She suddenly felt the scruff of his face brush up against her cheek as he planted a kiss.

“It’s worth it, I promise,” he whispered. Gwen’s lips pursed, the thought and feeling of him being so close but not able to reach out to kiss him as she had no idea where he was was almost physically hurting her. He tapped her bare legs and gently moved them into the truck so that he could close the door and hopped into the driver’s seat, starting the car and taking off.

It was only a few minutes that they were driving down the road and Gwen started getting impatient.

“Blake Shelton, where are you taking me?” she asked, reaching out towards him to try and poke him in his arm as a tease, but instead totally missing and poking him in the cheek instead. He chuckled a little bit and leaned over suddenly and gently bit her finger, which she gasped when she felt it. 

“Hey!” she exclaimed, retracting her arm back and rubbing her finger. Blake started chuckling a bit as he kept driving down the road, refusing to answer her original question. Gwen jolted a little when she suddenly felt his hand slide onto her bare thigh, resting there, and massaging gently.

“I’m sorry baby. Did I hurt you?” he said in a sweet tone, continuing to lightly stroke her leg. Gwen squirmed a little bit as she laughed. 

“You’re going to wreck this truck if you keep that up,” Gwen said pointedly, as she pulled her legs up onto the seat and shook her head. 

“No baby, I’m fine driving with one hand like this, I could do it all day…you’re the one who’s squirming. Thank God you’re not driving or else we’d be six feet under.”

“You’re so bad.”

The car grew quiet again for another minute, before Gwen spoke up again.

“It sucks being blindfolded, by the way,” Gwen quipped. “I can’t see anything.”

Blake started laughing at her. “Gwen, that’s the point of a blindfold!”

“I’m just saying it’s not fun!”

“Oh, I think you’re having fun right now. You can’t lie about that to me.”

Gwen, a bit defeated, fell silent as a small smile remained on her lips and her head tilted to the window, not like she could see anything out the window. The next fifteen minutes were filled with playful jabs, silent smiles, and this anticipatory feeling about what was going to happen next. Before she knew it, the truck was parked and turned off, and she turned towards the door, so eager to get out.

“No, no, no…” Blake said, holding onto her arm to prevent her from getting out. “I need you to stay put. I’ll tell you when it’s ready.”

“When what’s ready? Blaaaaake…”

“Shhh,” Blake said, placing a finger over her lips. She playfully licked at his finger and giggled, before settling back into the seat. The next thing she knew, she heard Blake opening the backseat door and pulling something out, shutting it behind him. She heard something being set down on top of the hood of the truck. She heard footsteps around the entirety of the truck, and now she was just confused. Silence came next. She huffed. And then the passenger side door was opening next to her, Blake’s hand resting on her thigh, and the other grabbing onto her hand. 

“You’re cute when you’re annoyingly impatient,” Blake quipped, kissing her quickly on her forehead as his hand on her thigh slid up to her hip. Gwen smiled behind the blindfold as he pulled her forward, gently helping her hop down onto the grass below them. Her face wrinkled in confusion a little bit as she heard muffled noises that almost sounded like commercials coming from nearby. Blake led her a few more feet around the truck, and stood her still right in front of the tailgate. His hands were resting on her shoulders. He moved them up to the back of her head, holding the blindfold as he spoke.

“There’s that thing you always say to me when you get flustered that I wish you wouldn’t say about yourself… _’Don’t judge me.._ …and even though I hate when you say that, I’m going to pull that card right now and ask that you don’t judge me if you think this is stupid or way too cheesy…just keep your opinion to yourself and don’t tell me about it, okay?” he chuckled a bit. Gwen bit her lip.

“Let me see,” she whispered, the enthusiasm hardly contained. “I would never judge you, Blake. Please trust me on that.”

He let out a breath and slowly undid the blindfold, letting it fall to the wayside.

When Gwen’s eyes opened, she gasped a little bit as she took in her surroundings. She saw the grass beneath her feet, the sounds of what sounded like commercials getting slightly louder as the fabric was removed from her ears. There was a large screen in front of them projected up in the middle of this field, other cars and trucks somewhat nearby. Her eyes looked back to Blake’s truck, which had the tailgate lifted down, a bottle of wine and plate of cheese and crackers sitting on the back, and plenty of blankets and pillows along the bed of the truck. With his hands resting on her sides, she didn’t move. Gwen was just in shock.

“Blake…” she managed tenderly, turning into his arms immediately to kiss him. She pulled back, a small tear running down her face as she breathed before continuing. “You did all of this?”

He grinned a bit down at her, his hands holding the small of her back as he returned the kiss. “I took a wild guess…I just felt like maybe you were the type that would enjoy going to an old drive in movie in black and white, and since you can hardly find those anymore…well, I knew of the one here in Oklahoma…darlin’, there’s no need to cry.”

“Blake,” she repeated, shaking her head a bit. “I just…I just don’t think you understand how magical this is. I can’t believe you planned all of this…”

“It was nothing, sweetheart.”

“No,” she breathed. “Blake, this is everything.”

Gwen squeezed his hands and gently pulled him forward to follow her up towards the truck. With his help, Gwen jumped on top of the back, Blake not too far behind. He moved to the back of the truck bed and started fluffing out the various blankets he had brought as Gwen grabbed the platter and the bottle of wine and brought it back to him. He took them from her as she settled down, cuddling on top of his lap.

“So uh…I forgot the wine glasses so if we’re going to drink this, it’s going to be really classy and straight from the bottle,” Blake said with a sheepish grin. He seemed a little worried, almost as if he thought that he had forgotten something or was messing things up. 

“We don’t need glasses, Blake. It’s all so perfect,” she said with a smile, as she took the wine opener from him and opened the bottle, taking a drink out of it. She laughed a little bit as she handed it to him. “I feel like we just stole this wine out of our parents wine cellars or something.” She laughed again and looked up at him, which made him start laughing too. Gwen reached down to the cheese platter and picked up a few pieces, placing one in her mouth and feeding the other one to Blake. 

“We never did anything like this,” Blake said suddenly, his arms closing tighter around her once he handed the bottle back to her. “She would hardly ever even let me hug her. Always pushin’ me away or trying to get on to something else.”

“I never want you to stop hugging me,” Gwen said almost in a whisper, as she nuzzled her head just under his neck. She seemed to feel him relax a bit in that moment, and she was just so thankful. She was so thankful that someone like this had come into her life. She was so thankful that after everything he had been through, he was still alive and she could help him relax. She hated how insecure someone had made him; but then again, so was she. They both had their worlds rocked by terrible people and yet here they were, somehow having managed to find the pieces and putting them back together. 

The commercials came to an end, and soon a classic black and white movie came on the screen in front of them which caught their attention momentarily. To be honest, it was hard to focus on anything with Blake holding her like he was. The wine was perfect, it made her heart smile when she was able to feed him a piece of cheese, the way that he took it and tried nibbling on her finger each time as a joke was just too adorable. The way he suddenly seemed just so much more relaxed to be around her, and how he just seemed so much more open about himself with her was almost too much to handle. 

It was starting to become a pattern - one that was dangerous in the sense that if it ever ended, she would be devastated. She just kept wishing that these nights with Blake would never end.


	12. Sunday Morning

She woke up the next morning in his arms. It was crazy how fast she realized a place as simple as that had become her favorite place to be.

Her eyes looked around the bright hotel room, a yawn escaping her mouth from being out so late the night before. Her mind flashed back there immediately, the first thought of the night instantly warming her heart. It had been hard to pay attention to the movie, she was more interested in memorizing every detail about him in the back of that truck. She wanted to remember smells, touches, the feeling of his heartbeat…the way it looked when he smiled down at her and they met eyes while she was still wrapped up in his arms, the small smile line that became apparent when he flashed those dimples… _God._

They had stayed out a few hours past when the movie ended, just getting lost in conversation and wine and not letting one another go. She had fallen asleep on him at one point, and it almost pained him to gently move her awake and get them back to the hotel room. When they both came into the room, they immediately crashed on the bed together and had been out cold ever since. 

Her eyes then moved up to Blake. _Speaking of ‘out cold’._ He was quiet, not making a noise as he just seemed dead to the world. Gwen shifted a little in his arms, moving up towards him as she placed a soft, delicate kiss on his lips. She placed a second kiss there immediately following, and Blake began to stir a bit, his eyes opening and staring right at Gwen.

“Sorry,” she whispered, her eyes taking in his features before looking back at his eyes again. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“Darlin’, I know the feelin’,” he responded, his arm tightening a bit around her waist, that damn southern morning drawl almost enough to make her wet.

_Easy, Gwen._

Blake stretched a bit and kissed the top of her head, his eyes looking around the room as he fully took in their surroundings for the first time that morning. 

“I’m proud I got you to come back to the hotel,” Blake said with a chuckle. “You were out cold, and didn’t even want to leave when I woke you.”

“I was comfortable,” she defended playfully, snuggling up into him a bit to make a point. “So comfortable.”

“Why don’t we order in some breakfast?” Blake offered, tilting his head towards the menu on the nightstand. “And then we can spend all day doing anything and everything you want.”

“But I _literally_ don’t want to leave your arms right now. Not even for a second,” Gwen said, wrinkling her face at him.

“Hmmm,” he pondered for a moment, before his eyes looked down at her and he grinned. Before she could even ask him what was up, Blake pulled her a bit closer, rolled on top of her, never letting her go as his free hand reached behind him in some matrix-style move and grabbed the menu. 

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed in surprise. She was giggling at the sudden, unexpected movement. Once his hand gripped it, he rolled himself back over, back onto his back, his arm still securely placed around Gwen’s stomach, never once leaving it.

“Well, that’s one way to do it,” she laughed at him and shook her head, and he flashed a grin. Her hand slid down his arm, gently pulling his hand off of the menu and discarding it on the bed. Her eyes looked back up to him, and she bit her lip with a smile.

“Come back here,” she whispered, as she curled her finger in a _come hither_ fashion. Blake rolled gently back on top of her, holding her small body underneath his, as he placed a long, slow kiss on her lips. She reciprocated, her hands resting on his shoulders as she slid her tongue in his mouth. Their kisses grew in intensity, Blake eventually, gradually slowing them down within the coming minutes.

“Babe,” he breathed, opening his eyes and looking at her. “I fed you wine and cheese for dinner last night. I’m a bad boyfriend. You need real food in you…”

“Boyfriend?” Gwen’s eyes opened, almost in shock, as she got immediately stuck on the word. Blake’s face seemed to fall into a panic. 

“I, uh, Gwen…I didn’t mean…I know, I guess we’re not official but uh…damn it. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

She let out a shaky breath as she heard him fumbling his words around, and she couldn’t take it anymore. She leaned forward and kissed him to shut him up. The kiss was deep, and seemed to last for minutes. 

“But seriously Gwen, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to…”

“Shhhh…” she said gently, placing her finger gently over his lips to try and keep him quiet. It was silent. She was letting the word sink in - fill the air. She was trying to experience how that word felt in this context, and with this man. It was an unfamiliar concept, especially with someone so new in her life but - wow. The shocking reality of what was happening was really dawning on her.

“Say it again…” she whispered.

“What?” 

“Say it…”

He hesitated, and gave her a bit of a confused look. He would have said or done pretty much anything this woman told him to do, though, and he gave in. “Boyfriend…”

Her nose wrinkled a little at the unfamiliar word. “It’s a weird word,” she concluded. Blake was about to combust, as she was just seeming to ponder over it and he was there, hanging in the air, waiting for her reaction. 

“I know we haven’t known each other long…” she eventually said, her fingers lazily tracing circles on his arm. “…but I just want to let you know that I’m not interesting in seeing anyone else right now, or anything. And I don’t have those same expectations from you, but that’s where I’m at.”

“Gwen,” he breathed, catching her eyes with his. “I don’t want to see anyone else, either. I’m fully invested in wanting to see where this goes.”

“You don’t have to make that decision just because I did, though.”

“That isn’t what I’m doing,” he corrected. “There is just…there is something here, some kind of connection that I’ve never felt before and I literally can’t focus on anything or anyone else.” He leaned up towards her again, kissing her.

“I feel the same way,” she said, giving him a smile. “And…I honestly don’t mind if you want to use those titles. I mean, I know, this is so complicated and we’re not ‘official official’, and this is so new but I mean…you _feel_ like a boyfriend and I don’t know, I liked the way it sounded…”

“You did?”

She gave him a smile, before her face turned a little more serious. “Absolutely. God, Blake, any girl would be so lucky to hear those words from your mouth. I wish you could see what I see in you.”

He kissed her again, her hand coming to rest on his cheek as she deepened the embrace. He pulled back a little bit, and gave her a look. “Okay, but really now, we are getting you a proper breakfast.” He pulled the menu from beside them and slid it into her lap.

About 30 minutes later, there was a knock at the door and Blake hopped out of bed to be greeted by room service. They rolled the cart inside the hotel room and left it in the living room area. She heard the clinking noise of plates coming from the living room as she wondered what Blake was up to. 

“Blake?” she called out, crawling over to the edge of the bed. “Do you need help?” A moment later, he emerged back into the bedroom holding a tray, and flashing a dimpled grin.

“I had them bring the breakfast in bed tray so we didn’t have to move,” he explained, coming to the side of the bed and setting it down gently next to her. He moved to the opposite side of the bed and crawled back in, Gwen turning to find her spot on him again. 

“Mmm…so perfect,” she smiled and kissed him before he moved to lean over her to pull the tray up in the middle of them. She watched him as he reached down and began spreading jam on a piece of toast, her content and happy expression faltering the next moment.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, nudging her a bit. 

“I guess I just realized I have to fly back to Georgia today.” Her head rested on him again as those words came out of her mouth, a sigh accompanying them. Blake’s hand caressed her bare shoulder as he leaned over to place a kiss on top of her head.

“I know,” he said, voice low. “I know seeing each other is going to be a lot of work and a lot of planning. And a lot of goodbyes.”

“I think what just really sucks the most is that all I have to look forward to tonight is going home to an empty apartment. No Apollo. No you. No anyone.” Hearing those words could have broken his heart. He wished so badly for her that she had her son waiting for her at home, instead of being halfway across the country. 

“We have to make the most of our time left together today…I don’t want to think about you leaving,” he shook his head at the thought. 

She chuckled a little. “You do realize we’ve spent probably at least 75% of our time in bed together this weekend, right? How lame are we?”

“Gwen, I would have cancelled my show on Friday and that stupid party afterwards to spend more time in bed with you had I known I’d enjoy it this much.”

“I feel like canceling the rest of my life to stay in this bed with you,” she teased. 

Blake took a bite of his toast and looked over to Gwen, offering it to her for a bite. She moved forward and bit into it, smiling at him. Blake leaned towards her and kissed her.

“You had grape jelly on your lips,” he defended, once she raised her eyebrow a bit at him. She giggled and shook her head, not totally believing him as she picked up her fork and cut a bit of her waffle, starting to eat. 

“I have an idea for what we can do today…” he said a few minutes later, her attention turning to him. “So, I actually have a bit of property about an hour and a half away from here that I’ve been meaning to go check on. I own horses, too, and I don’t know how you feel about horseback riding but…”

“Blake!” Gwen gasped suddenly, her eyes widening and a smile playing on her lips.

“What??” he said immediately, almost in a panic as he had no idea what was going on.

“Oh my god…you do realize that’s like, every girl’s dream, right? Horses? Especially when those girls grow up in California…”

“Well uh, no, but does that mean you want to go?” he asked nervously, a little unsure of her enthusiasm. 

“Blake, you’re so adorable when you get nervous,” she giggled a little, kissing him to put him out of his misery. “Of course I want to go. But you’re going to have to teach me.”

“Promise,” he smiled, kissing her again. 

Gwen moved the tray off of her and set it on the nightstand, jumping out of bed. She went rustling through her suitcase, Blake just laying back and watching her with a smile on his face. A few minutes later, she felt herself being watched and she looked back over to him. “What are you looking at, cowboy?”

“I think that’s the first time you got out of bed willingly all weekend,” he chuckled a little bit. “And all I had to say was ‘horses’.”

“Stop it,” she said, coming around the side of the bed and taking a seat back down on his lap. Her hands went to his neck and she kissed him. “But, like, aren’t you excited for horses, too?”

“As long as you’re there, I am.” He gave her another quick kiss.

“I’m going to shower really quick and get ready…” she kissed him again.”…before I forget about horses and physically can’t make myself get out of this bed with you again today.” And with that, she hopped out of his lap, and made a beeline for the shower. “Oh wait…what am I supposed to wear? Don’t you need boots or something?”

“I’ll have Taylor go buy you some at the country supply store down the road,” he replied. “What size?”

“Eight and a half,” she responded, flashing him a brief smile before closing the door behind her. 

——  
An hour later, Gwen was showered, skinny jeans pulled on her legs, and ready to go. She kept her make up light that day, and once her hair was dry she pulled it back in a simple ponytail. She pulled on a simple black short-sleeved shirt, covering her pink lace bra from view which was instantly disappointing for Blake. She turned to face him, watching him pull his own boots on while sitting on the bed.

“Is this okay?” she asked unsurely, smoothing the shirt against her body and she waiting for approval.

“It’s perfect,” he said with a smile. Their eyes locked. It didn’t last long, though, as a noise coming from the front door startled Gwen back to reality.

“I’ve got boots!” Taylor’s voice came bellowing through the previously quiet hotel room, the rustling sounds of the shopping bags filling the air as she put them on the couch. Gwen looked to Blake with a smile, holding her hand out for him and pulling him into a standing position and they walked out of the bedroom to meet her.

“Taylor,” Gwen said with a smile, letting Blake’s hand fall to his side as her arms wrapped around her. “You’re so sweet for going through all the trouble.” Taylor hugged her back tightly, smiling. Blake watched Gwen in awe as she was just so down to earth and nice to everyone - a stark contrast versus his ex, and it was so refreshing to witness. 

“Oh Gwen, please, this was so not any trouble! Boots are a country girl’s life!” she said as she gestured to all of the bags around them. “Ok so Blake didn’t tell me anything so I literally bought ten different pairs of boots…some are dressy boots, others you are allowed to get mud on,” she explained, pointing to a few of the bags. Gwen’s eyes widened as she went through all of the bags.

“Ummm..wow…” she said uncertainly. Her eyes flashed up to Taylor. The girl remembered what Gwen was like when she was presented with too many dress options, and she gave her a reassuring smile.

“I think you’ll like the ones in the green and black box. Those are my favorite.” Gwen pulled it from the stacks immediately, opened the box and smiled. They were simple brown cowboy boots with stitched sunflowers on the sides. They weren’t too fancy, but they definitely weren’t boring. 

“These are perfect,” Gwen said with a smile. “Taylor, you make my life so much easier.”

After collecting her things and pulling her new boots on her feet, the three of them piled into the large escalade that was destined for Blake’s ranch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a transitional chapter as I work towards what is coming next. Hope you guys are still enjoying the story. As always, comments and feedback are love <3


	13. Ride

“Blake, you don’t own a ‘bit of property'. You own half the state of Oklahoma!”

Those were the first words out of Gwen’s mouth as she stared out the window in awe once she realized they were pulling up to his ranch. Her eyes rested on sprawling hills, land for days, and she couldn’t believe her eyes. There was a giant main house, at least she assumed that was what it was, that they passed - such a gorgeous, rustic, giant building, that she honestly couldn’t wait to explore. Blake had instructed the driver to take them right out to the stables, if only because Gwen was far too excited for their ride. The car pulled up right next to the stable doors, and a ranch hand came walking out with two horses, tacked up and ready to go for them. 

Blake came around to Gwen’s side of the car and opened the door for her, her small frame jumping out as she could barely contain her excitement. She grinned at him, and he leaned in and kissed her before taking her hand and walking over to the horses. Gwen drew closer to Blake’s side, suddenly a little intimidated by the giant creatures standing before them. His arm went around her back and rested on her opposite hip.

“They won’t bite, I promise,” he teased her gently, nudging her forward a bit. Her eyes went up to Blake and she gave him a small, nervous smile. “Hold your hand out like this…so he can smell your hand…and then just stroke his neck like this…” he demonstrated with his own horse. She nodded, and looked back to the magnificent creature in front of her. The horse Blake had picked out for her was solid white, with blue eyes, and it really was a girl’s childhood fantasy come true to be that close to such a beautiful horse. She held out her hand the same way Blake had showed her, and the horse took immediate interest in it and started to nibble his lips at her palm.

“Oh my god…” Gwen started laughing, scrunching her face up as she squealed, and Blake joined along with her laughing as well. 

“He likes you,” Blake pointed out. “His name is Phantom, by the way. He loves to love on people. Kind of reminds me of you.” Gwen’s eyes flashed over to him, shaking her head a bit as she squealed when Phantom suddenly bucked his head a bit towards her to get her attention. 

“He wants you to pet him,” Blake translated.

“Who knew you spoke horse,” Gwen said, as she bit her lip slightly and shifted forward. She came under the horse’s neck and wrapped her arms up around him, gently petting him as she did so. She felt Phantom’s neck almost relax on her shoulder, and she giggled as she looked over to Blake.

“See? He’s a 1200 pound love bug.” 

She spent a few moments with her cheek resting against him, stroking his neck. Blake was watching her carefully, enjoying such a cute moment of her bonding with one of his horses. 

“Ready to ride?”

Gwen nodded, taking a few steps back next to Phantom as she looked over to Blake, awaiting instruction. Blake took the horse’s reins from the ranch hand and put them over his head, looping them on the horn of the saddle to rest. His hand went to her back as he moved them back towards the saddle.

Gwen looked up at the giant climb in front of her, then to Blake. “Oh my god, how am I supposed to get up there? He’s so tall!”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he said, as he tugged at the stirrup. “Just put your foot in the stirrup, grab the saddle horn, and I’ll get you on.” She did as instructed, and awkwardly looked over to him when she was in such an unfamiliar position. “Okay, at the count of three you’re going to push up, kind of like you’re standing up. One…two…three…” Gwen followed instructions again, pushing her weight up into the stirrup as she felt Blake’s arms help lift her into the saddle.

“Whoa!” she said, her hands clinging to the pommel. Blake walked around to the other side of the horse, pulling Gwen’s leg to place it into the stirrup. 

“Keep your heels pushed down into the stirrups, it will stop you from bouncing everywhere,” he said, reaching up to collect the reins and handing them to her. “He’s a good boy, you can go real easy on his mouth. Are you good?” he asked, resting a hand on her thigh as he looked up to her.

“Mmmhhmm!” she said, nodding, flashing a grin down at him. “It’s just so high up…but I’ll be okay. I’ll get used to it.” Blake smiled, patted her thigh, and went around them again to collect his own horse from the ranch hand. Effortlessly, he mounted, adjusting his reins and moving up right beside her, their legs brushing one another. That got her attention, and she smiled over at him. 

“You still ok? Ready to go?” he asked, just wanting to check on her one more time.

“Yes,” she said, looking down to the horse. “Ok, how do you make it go?”

Blake chuckled. “Just nudge him with your heels in his sides, real gentle. He doesn’t need a lot.” She did so, letting out a bit of a squeal once Phantom moved forward to start walking, Blake doing the same next to her.

As the horses walked along the field for a few moments, Blake watched Gwen get comfortable and used to being on horseback. Once he felt that she was calm, he spoke up again. “Phantom is trained to neck rein, by the way. That means if you want to turn and steer him, all he needs to feel are the reins against his neck in the direction you want to go. And don’t worry, you can’t do anything to spook him. He’s very calm and just loves going on the trails - nothing bothers him.”

“Good. I don’t think I’m ready for a scared horse,” Gwen said adamantly. 

“You look good up there. You’re a natural,” he encouraged her, which caused her to automatically straighten her posture a bit and grin at him. 

They moved over to the edge of the field, Phantom naturally falling in line behind Blake’s horse as they entered the trail. The woods had some kind of quiet intensity about them, the only sounds she heard were Phantom’s hooves clicking on the ground below them, occasionally snapping a twig. Distantly, she heard water running like a stream, and all of the light sounds working together was just tranquil. She even forgot where she was for a moment. 

“Blake, this place is so beautiful,” she said. “I can’t believe you own all of this.”

He pulled his horse back a bit and to the side of Gwen so they were now walking in line next to one another on the trail. “It’s where I feel most at home,” he responded, then looked over to her. “Are you saying you’ve never been out in the woods before?”

She giggled. “Nope. California, remember?”

“But they have wooded areas in California…”

“Blake, when I was in Girl Scouts, the way we earned our ‘camping’ badge? Our troop leader pitched a tent in their gated community, fenced back yard and we slept on air mattresses.” 

He started laughing immediately once he realized that she was being dead serious, Gwen giving an innocent little shrug as a response. “Are you serious right now? Oh my god. Well…we can ease you into real camping one of these days.”

Her childlike excitement returned suddenly as she looked over to Blake once they came up on a large clearing. “Can we go faster?” she asked, a daring glint in her eyes. Blake laughed a bit and nodded. “Nudge him along until he picks up a jog. Grip with your legs. Heels down,” he gave a few reminders, and her eyes widened as she nudged him forward and they started a slow jog, Blake nudging his horse right behind hers. 

They spent the afternoon on the trails, even holding hands a little bit once Gwen felt more comfortable on the horse. She forced herself to keep the conversation away from the only thing that was on her mind - the fact that she was devastated she was leaving and she had to go back to work the next morning. Usually, they were flexible about letting her work from home, but she had some big meeting that kept weighing on her mind with all of the executives from corporate and ugh, it was just so much. And to top it all off, this man’s dimples were _just too much_. Eventually, the trail brought them back to where they had started, and they headed back towards the stables where a ranch hand was standing by.

Blake dismounted his horse first and handed the reins to the ranch hand, coming around to Gwen’s left side. She placed the reins around the horn on instinct, biting her lip as she peered down at the long distance to the ground. 

“Come on, I’ve got you,” he said, reaching his arms up to her. “Swing your right leg back and I’ll catch you.”

“Mmmm…” she said, a little nervously as she tentatively brought her right leg out of the stirrup, slowly leaning forward and swinging it over the saddle. She had a moment where she thought she was falling and she gasped, but two strong hands grabbed her under her arms and eased her on the ground. He spun her around to face him, kissing her immediately, as it had been far too long since their lips had touched. She moaned a little at the sudden impact, pulling her lips from his eventually and hugging him around his midsection, her cheek resting against his chest. 

“That…” she started. “That was so, so amazing, Blake.”

He kissed her on top of her head and tightened his arms around her. “Wow. I’m glad you enjoyed it so much, honey.” She pulled her cheek off of his chest and looked up at him, not able to help herself as she pushed onto her tip toes and kissed him again. Silently, they turned and started walking back towards the main house, Gwen’s arms not leaving his midsection, his draping over her and holding her close. 

They came inside the main house briefly, just walking into the kitchen to grab a few water bottles before they had to head back out. The moment Gwen walked through the front doors, her eyes widened as she took in the surroundings. The place was beautifully, rustically decorated, with high ceilings and everything carved of wood. “Wow,” she said softly, a little lost in her own world for a moment. 

Blake smiled back at her, bringing a water bottle over to her as he watched her exploring with her eyes. “You like it out here, don’t you? I was kind of afraid it wasn’t your style…”

“I don’t know what my ‘style’ is anymore,” she shrugged, as she opened the water bottle to take a drink. “But I think I could definitely get used to this place. It’s so pretty and quiet out here. And I know I’ve only probably seen 1/100th of this place but there has to be so much to do.”

“I’ll bring you back here, if you’d like,” he offered, and she responded with a smile. “Promise I will.”

“I’d really like that. A lot.”

His eyes seemed sad in that moment, as they both knew what was coming next.

“We should probably hit the road.”

“You’re right.”

He held out his hand for her, which she took as they walked to the car. They climbed in the backseat, realizing Taylor was already waiting for them in there. She didn’t bother to buckle her seatbelt, and in that moment, she didn’t really care what anyone else thought. She slid across the bench seat and up to Blake, closing her eyes as her head rested on him for the entire car ride to the airport. 

——  
“Gwen, baby, it’s time to wake up,” he nudged her a bit, and she sleepily opened her eyes and looked around. It hit her suddenly that the last hour and a half had disappeared because she had fallen asleep on him in the car, and her head whipped back to him as her eyes began to fill with tears.

“Honey,” he said softly, bringing her back into his arms and holding her, rubbing her back a bit in an attempt to calm her down. She clung onto him as she forced herself to try and stop the tears, but it was impossible, because she knew what was about to happen and they had already started. 

“Wow, please ignore me. I’m just - I was just shocked. I thought I had at least two hours left with you and then I fell asleep and now I don’t and...and wow. I’m a mess. And you probably think I’m a crazy person.”

“You don’t have to ever apologize to me when you’re upset. And I’m never, ever, going to ignore you when you are,” he said firmly, taking a stab at smoothing over that insecurity that he blamed on her ex, even though he wasn’t sure of the origin. “Come on now…I’ll be in Indianapolis next weekend and its a short flight from Atlanta. Maybe an hour and a half? You tell me the second you’re able to fly out and I’ll get you there with me. In the meantime, you need to go to work tomorrow and kill that presentation with all your fancy bosses.” He wicked a tear away from under her eye and kissed her softly. 

She let out a breath, feeling herself calm down a bit as she nodded, listening to what he was saying. “I know you’re right.”

He opened the car door and they both hopped out of the escalade, walking over to the stairs that led up to the plane. One of the attendants grabbed Gwen’s luggage and began stowing it away in the background, as the two of them just stood there facing each other, trying to stave off the inevitable. 

“Thank you for the second best weekend of my life,” Blake said with a smile.

Gwen grinned a little through her tears and raised an eyebrow. “Only second best?”

“Well, it’s pretty hard to beat the first time I got to take you out. The first time I got to hold you and sleep next to you.” He paused. “I’m joking, really, because I can’t compare moments with you, Gwen. They’re all amazing.”

She moved forward to close the distance between them, her arms sliding up around his neck, her toes pushing into the ground as she artificially increased her height and planted a slow, deep kiss on his lips. His arms came around her and he pulled her to him a little desperately, deepening the kiss, holding on for dear life. They pulled back, and Gwen swiped under her eyes and looked up at him.

“If you don’t leave right now, I’m never getting on that plane,” she said firmly. She knew herself too well. He pulled her in for one final kiss, pulling back but letting their foreheads rest against one another.

“Please call me when you land.” Gwen nodded, tore herself away, and forced herself to walk up the stairs and into the cabin. It was too much. She couldn’t even look out the window because she knew it would hurt too much. Part of this was scary, how she just felt so much in so little time. The crew and pilot didn’t take long to go through the pre-flight checks. Gwen grabbed greedily at the bottle of wine offered to her and started pouring her first glass, holding back the tears. Soon, she was up in the air and on her second glass. Somewhere between her fourth and fifth, the pilot announced they were landing in Atlanta. A matching escalade came and picked her up and drove her home.

Her key pushed into her apartment lock, and she opened the door completely but lingered in the frame for a moment. She let out a shaky breath, as she dropped her bags in the front foyer and walked into the darkness. No Apollo. No Blake. She turned for her bedroom and laid down immediately, not even bothering with her clothes or shoes as she felt herself getting emotional again. She pulled a sleeping pill from her nightstand and dry swallowed it, too lazy to go to the kitchen to get water, and just hoping it would work faster. She sighed, staring up at the ceiling. 

This is what it felt like to be alone again.


	14. Validation

_“Gwen….Gwen….are you alive, Gwen?”_

Suddenly, she jolted upright in her chair, startled over Lizzy’s words and soft touch to her shoulder. Wide eyed, she looked over to her friend as she came to realize she had fallen asleep face down on her desk. She sighed, rubbing her forehead a bit, crossing her arms and leaning back a bit in her office chair.

“Gwen, are you okay? These past few days, I mean, it’s been pretty rough to watch you work yourself so hard…” she said softly, sharing a concerned look with her. 

She thought back to what the week had been so far. On Monday, she had missed her alarm, having only gotten an hour of sleep the night after coming back from Oklahoma and she was in a frenzy and running late for her meeting. She had managed to nail the meeting, only for one of the senior executives to barely recognize the work she did and demanded it be done the complete opposite way, and ready to go by the next day. As she had worked two weeks on that presentation, she pulled an all-nighter in her office through Tuesday morning. By Tuesday afternoon, she was back in front of the executives giving her new presentation, just to get a ton of edits and corrections thrown back at her which they wanted by the next morning. She took a few hours of sleep on her couch that night, forced to go home to shower and change, just to come back to the office to submit her final work sometime that Wednesday morning. She looked at her watch, realizing it was already 3:00 in the afternoon on Wednesday, the morning suddenly feeling like a distant memory. 

“Gwen?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, I’m fine…I’m awake,” she stumbled over her words a little, rubbing her eyes and meeting Lizzy’s. Her concerned expression was enough to make her need to look away for the time being.

“Come on. Stand up,” Lizzy said, coming behind Gwen’s chair and shaking it a little bit. “We are going to go for a little walk and stop at the coffee shop on the corner.” Slowly, Gwen stood up out of her chair, a second later Lizzy was pushing it in and gently pushing Gwen out of her office. She was grateful for her friend that occasionally had to drag her out of work by her hair sometimes, and she was definitely grateful there was coffee at the end of this road.

“Okay, so you’ve been weird and distant ever since you got back from Oklahoma. What’s up? Did something happen?” Lizzy asked before the door to their office building even shut behind them. Gwen took a few steps out onto the sidewalk and shrugged. 

“Nothing bad happened,” she conceded. “A lot of good happened, actually, a _lot_ of good…wow.”

Lizzy turned to meet Gwen’s gaze. “Gwen Stefani, did you…”

“No!” she paused, cocked her head, bit her lip, and looked back over to Lizzy. “Okay, well…maybe…”

“Oh my god! This is huge!” Lizzy squealed, to which Gwen responded by lightly punching her arm.

“Shh! Stop it…oh my god,” Gwen said, rolling her eyes. Her arms crossed over her chest. 

“I mean…was he, you know, good?”

“Lizzy, it was honestly the best sex I’ve had in my entire life…” she trailed off, as she let her mind wander back to those moments. Remembering Blake pinning her up against the wall, the way he looked at her to ask permission before sliding her underwear down her legs…it sent a chill down her spine. “And then I freaked out, and he was totally okay with taking it slower, and then we just spent so much time together talking…like that’s all we did and we didn’t need to do anything else…well, except he took me horseback riding, which I mean, we definitely needed to do that…” she smiled a bit to herself.

Lizzy was watching her, raising an eyebrow a bit and grinning. “You really like this guy.”

“Yeah,” she responded quietly.

It fell silent between them for a few minutes. Gwen looked back over to Lizzy. “I’m scared, Liz.”

“Just be careful. Take it slow… what is there to be scared about?”

“That it’s going to end up like my ex. That I’m falling way too fast. That he’s going to get bored of me. That this might be so one-sided and I’m so blind and just, I don’t know. I’m so defeated right now.”

“Work has been a bitch on you this week, I know,” Lizzy sighed, as they walked into the small coffee shop and ordered their drinks. They both sat down at a small booth in the back of the shop, the awakening aroma of coffee beans in the air. 

“Have you talked to him since you got back?”

“Yeah, a little. I feel so bad though. He knows I’ve basically slept in my office the past few days. And he’s so crazy. He even figured out the sports bar down the street from the office delivers food and he sent me a grilled cheese sandwich with tomato soup last night. He’s so thoughtful like that.” She shook her head, still impressed that he remembered things she ordered when she was with him in Oklahoma. She wasn’t going to be able to leave the office so that had been such a godsend. “It just sucks though, because all of these presentations are the only thing I can keep my mind on because of how time sensitive they are…the rest of the time I just miss him so, so much.”

“You’ll see him this weekend,” Lizzy said a bit cheerfully, smiling at the barista who brought their drinks over to them. 

Gwen’s lips hovered on the rip of the cup as she slowly took a sip of her carmel latte. She sighed happily, the caffeine helping almost instantly. 

——

_Is it Friday yet? Gx_

_I’m afraid it’s not, babe. Glad to see you’re still alive though -B_

_Barely Gx_

_Please tell me you’ve slept some? You’ve eaten real food? And taken tylenol? -B_

_A little, a grilled cheese, and lots Gx_

Gwen sighed a bit, looking at her phone. It was stupid how much she missed him. Even simple text messages sent her into a frenzy. She looked down at her phone again, realizing it was almost 6 at night, and started gathering her things. An unfamiliar California phone number began calling her, to which she raised her eyebrow a bit. It was an LA area code, but she didn’t quite know who it could have been. Hesitantly, she answered.

“Hello?”

“Am I speaking to Ms. Gwen Stefani?”

“Um, yeah, I’m Gwen.”

“Ms. Stefani…I’m so sorry to call you over the phone like this, but since I’ve been told you live in Georgia now, we weren’t really sure how else to contact you.”

“Okay who is this?? What’s going on??” she felt herself start to panic, her hand gripping the phone harder as her nerves went into overdrive.

“Ms. Stefani, I want to assure you everything is going to be alright, and he is okay, but your son Apollo is currently in the hospital…”

“WHAT?!” she practically screamed at the poor lady, as tears began rolling down her face and she had trouble catching her breath. “What happened?? What’s going on?? Please, tell me!”

“I think it would be best if you can get yourself to California as soon as possible, and we’ll review the rest.”

“The rest?? What are you talking about?! Wait, who are you? Are you a nurse?”

“No, ma’am, my name is Carolyn Hart. I’m a caseworker at DSS.”

At the last words, she dropped her cell phone as she froze in panic. She felt a panic attack brewing at the surface, and her hands went to grab the edge of her desk immediately to steady herself. 

——  
She didn’t even know how she got herself to her apartment. She didn’t quite know what she threw in her suitcase, she didn’t remember how she got herself to the airport. But the second she got to the ticket counter, the reality of what was happening, most of it she didn’t even know what was happening yet, hit her. Words came out of her mouth that indicated she had to get to Los Angeles immediately. She felt eyes on her as she stood at the ticket counter, her face covered in tears, and her breathing loud as she was trying to keep herself from a panic attack. 

“I’m sorry, ma’am, the earliest we have out to LA is 9:30 am tomorrow morning.”

“That’s not good enough!”

“I’m sorry….ma’am…I’m so sorry, we do not have anything else. The closest I could get you in would be an 11:25pm departing flight to San Francisco…”

“That’s a 7 hour drive!”

“I’m so sorry.”

Realizing she was getting nowhere with this person, she stalked off in a panic, as she just kept pacing the terminal as she tried figuring out what to do next. She was shaking, and the tears were coming down hard. She sat on the ground and let her back lean against the wall, pulling her phone in front of her. The idea was sudden, it was perfect, but even though she knew it would probably work, she was so scared to do it. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself, and swiped her finger on her touchscreen and soon the phone was dialing his number.

“Blake?” her shaky voice came over the phone as she took a few more breaths, willing herself to try and calm down.

“Gwen, what’s wrong?” he said in a panic.

“Blake, it’s Apollo…he’s in the hospital in California and I, I can’t get a flight out tonight…” her tears were apparent as she forced herself to say the words. “I don’t…I don’t know where Gavin is and, and someone from Social Services called…” at this point, her face broke and she just started crying harder, despite her trying to contain herself. 

“Shhhh…” he said, and then just let her cry it out for a few moments. “Gwen…” he tried to get her attention. “Gwen…I need you to listen to me. Where are you?”

“Airport,” she sniffled. 

“Go grab a car and have them take you to the executive terminal. I’ll get a plane there and ready.”

“Blake…are you sure?”

“Go right now. This is not a negotiation,” he said firmly. 

“I’m rerouting my own flight tonight to meet you at LAX.”

“Blake, no, you don’t have to do that…you have shows…”

“Gwen, this is far more important. Shows can be rescheduled. I’m not letting you do this alone.”

She took a shaky breath in. “I already feel so bad you’re flying me to California but for you to drop your own life…”

“End of discussion. I will meet you in LA. I’m calling the charter company right now. Please be safe.” And with that, he hung up.

Gwen shot up off of the floor instantly and grabbed her bag, booking it out into the line of taxis as she grabbed one immediately. Before she knew it she was pacing the executive terminal, waiting for someone to let her know when the plane was ready for her to board.

——  
Exhausted, and what felt like a million hours later, Gwen stood up after the plane landed and her sore legs were walking down the steps outside of the executive terminal. She must have been an interesting sight - her hair was messily thrown up, her dark circles and smeared make-up covered by large sunglasses, and the work clothes she was wearing felt wrinkled and disheveled. She spotted him immediately, the tall cowboy standing at the door, she took a breath and her heart like it was going to explode. Her steps quickened and within a minute her arms were clinging tightly at his midsection, her face burying into his chest as she started crying a bit again.

He held her there, and he was planning to do so as long as she needed it. Blake was even starting to feel himself get emotional just over the sight of her breaking down so suddenly on him.

“Thank…you..” she whispered, in between sobs. “Thank you so much for getting me here.”

Keeping her arms tight around him, she pulled her face out of his chest and looked up at him through dark sunglasses. Tentatively, Blake’s hand moved forward and gently pushed the sunglasses on top of her head, revealing the dark circles and smeared make-up, making her instantly tense up a bit. He offered her a small smile, his hand resting on her cheek as he leaned down to kiss her forehead. She took a deep breath in and seemed to relax in that moment, her small hand resting over his as she held him there. Her eyes were struggling to stay open, and he could tell.

“I’m sorry you haven’t slept all week…” he said softly, which caused her to open her eyes again and look up at him.

“It’s not just that. I took a Xanax before I boarded the plane.”

“Well, I’m glad I’m driving, then. Come on, I’ve got you,” he said, turning a bit and starting to walk them out to the rental car. She kept her arms tightly around him as she only pulled one arm away briefly to swipe under her eyes. He opened the passenger door and kissed the top of her head right before she let go to climb inside. Blake came around the front of the car and got into the driver’s seat, starting the car up and reaching out to hold Gwen’s hand. 

She angled her body towards him, her left shoulder leaning against the back of the seat as she looked at him. Her right arm was outstretched as she held his hand, her eyes fighting to stay open. For now, she was slightly calm. She was anxious, exhausted, and so many other unidentifiable emotions, but there was something about this man that seemed to ground her to some degree within all of that. 

Blake pulled out of the terminal, the GPS ultimately taking over the navigation as they remained silent. She held his hand a little tighter when she felt like tears might be coming, and he squeezed it as a response. 

“I still can’t believe you came,” Gwen said in a whisper, her eyes looking up to his as she watched him drive.

“Gwen, baby, of course I did,” his voice almost cracked, his eyes briefly looking at her before going back to the road.

“But you had a show to fly to tonight…and a life…this isn’t just like you got in the car and drove to meet me somewhere. Blake, you just flew across the country after flying me across the country to meet me here to go see my son in the hospital…” she shook her head, the serious nature of the situation seeming to weigh on her again. 

“What breaks my heart more is that you don’t feel like you deserve love like this, if I’m being honest.”

She shrugged her shoulders a bit and turned her face away, watching the road in front of them.

“You do, by the way. You deserve all the love in the world. And I wasn’t just going to let you fly across the country, upset and drugged, to handle this on your own."

“To be fair, you didn’t know I was drugged until I got off the plane.” 

He brought her hand up between them and placed a kiss on the back of it. “Not the point.”

A few minutes later, they were pulling up into the hospital and Blake drove Gwen straight to the door.

“Go, I’ll find you,” he urged her, and without hesitating, she jumped out of the car and ran inside.

Blake sighed, his heart breaking as he moved the car back into drive and pulled over into the parking lot. He noticed Gwen left her handbag in the front seat and he collected it, making his way towards the hospital. After a few inquiries at the desk, and maybe a white lie about being Apollo’s step father, one of the nurses led him down a long corridor in the pediatrics section and into the room with Gwen and Apollo.

He walked inside slowly, his eyes falling on a sleeping two year old and Gwen practically laying on top of him, silently crying as she held onto her baby boy. There was an older lady sitting in the room, and he took his time to come into the room fully as he placed her handbag down on a nearby table. Blake took a seat right next to the bed, his hand moving forward to rub Gwen’s back. She exhaled, relaxing at his touch, shutting her eyes tight as a few tears fell down her face. 

She stayed like this for another ten minutes or so before suddenly sitting up on the bed, her eyes going straight to the older woman in the room, who she only assumed was DSS. Her cheeks were stained with tears, her eyes threatened more to fall as she brought her attention to the woman.

“Why is he here? What’s wrong? What happened? And why are you here?” she inhaled a shaky breath as she watched the lady stand up.

“Let’s talk outside,” she whispered. Immediately, Gwen moved off the bed and stood up next to Blake. Blake stayed in his seat as Gwen took a few steps to the door, looking back when he didn’t automatically follow.

“Aren’t you coming?” she asked quietly, her eyes meeting his.

“Are you sure?” She nodded furiously, reaching for his hand and tugging him along with her.

They stood in the sterile hallway as Blake’s hands went to her shoulders, trying to brace her for whatever was about to come. The older lady wasn’t so quick to talk, and it was visibly killing both of them. 

“What happened??” Gwen pressed immediately, her voice portraying more anger than she meant. “And where the hell is Gavin?!”

“There’s no easy way to say this…” Carolyn breathed, folding her hands. “Earlier today, the LAPD conducted a few drug raids in Simi Valley. Mr. Rossdale was found a party to one of them, and was arrested. The police found your son in the next room over, and brought him here realizing he had an incredibly high fever. He seems to have a nasty bug and an ear infection and he was a bit dehydrated, so that’s why he is still hooked up to fluids."

If Blake hadn’t been holding her already, she would have hit the ground. She started to feel herself hyperventilate as she reached for him, and he pulled her immediately into his arms as she started to break again. Carolyn looked devastated at being the one to tell them this, and just watched the two of them in the meantime. With Gwen too upset to say anything, Blake forced his gaze over to the social worker.

“When can we take him home?” he asked, careful to keep his voice from cracking and upsetting Gwen more than she already was.

“He needs to stay the night. The doctor said he’ll do a full check on him in the morning.”

Blake nodded, mouthed a ‘thank you’, and turned his attention down to Gwen. She was clinging to his shirt and her face was pressed into his chest.

“Baby, come on, let’s go be with your little boy,” Blake said smoothly, nudging at her to walk back into the room.

Instead of a sleeping Apollo, the baby had suddenly woken up and grinned as Gwen and Blake walked in. He made grabby hands at Gwen and she swiftly came to the side of the bed, holding his arm down a bit as it still had a small needle in it that was putting fluids into his body and she didn’t want it to come out. 

“Taaaaaag!” he said, as his eyes found Blake standing behind Gwen. The simple word made Gwen smile, looking from Apollo to Blake behind her.

“Looks like you have an official nickname, cowboy,” 

“I’ve never felt so lucky in my entire life to be named after a recess game.”

Gwen moved to sit on the bed, and carefully pulled Apollo into her lap and held him close. He yawned a little and snuggled into Gwen, resting against her. She spent a few moments like that - eyes closed, her arms wrapped around her baby, just breathing a sigh of relief. She turned her gaze behind her, and her eyes locked with Blake’s. Her hand reached out for his, he gave it to her, and she pulled him up and onto the hospital bed with the two of them, gently moving her and Apollo over to make room. She snuggled up against him a bit as she held her baby close, her eyes closing eventually as she felt so safe between the two of them.


	15. Santa Monica

His giggles startled her awake. And to be honest, it was the best way to wake up considering the events of the previous night.

Groggily, Gwen opened her eyes as she found herself curled up and laying alone on Apollo’s hospital bed. She moved a little and felt a blanket draped over her body. Her arms reached forward out of instinct, searching, but coming up empty. That’s when she heard his giggles again.

“Pollo?” 

She rolled over onto her back, looking behind her from where she heard the laughter. Her eyes immediately found Blake’s, and he gave her a smile. Apollo was sitting in Blake’s lap facing him, and was tapping at Blake’s face with his little hand. Blake tore his attention off of Gwen for a moment and looked back to the baby, making a big, goofy face at him and sending Apollo into a fit of giggles all over again. Blake laughed a little, as he let Apollo’s hands grip his fingers and bounce around on him a bit. His attention went back to Gwen.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

She yawned, and returned a content smile. “Hi.” She fell silent, watching Blake with Apollo. It made her heart melt, and she couldn’t tear her eyes away. 

“Did the doctor come by? Have I been sleeping this entire time? What time is it?” she breathed, as she stretched a bit and propped herself up into a semi-sitting position. She rubbed her eyes.

“It’s almost 11:30,” he responded, before looking back to Apollo and pulling another goofy face at him, his giggles once again echoing throughout the room. “You needed to sleep, baby. They just came in a few hours ago to take the needle out of his arm because the fluids finished. They brought him some breakfast, too.”

“Breakfast…” she said, almost guiltily. “Oh god, he’s probably so hungry…”

“He already ate. He ate most of his meal, actually.”

“What?” She was dumbfounded. “But…he’s been so picky lately and I can’t get him to eat anything, how did you…?”

“Well….there might have been a slight promise of ice cream once we got out of the hospital.” Blake grinned. Gwen couldn’t help but chuckle as he looked like a five year old on Christmas morning in that moment. 

“Mama!” Apollo squealed, as he began reaching for Gwen once he realized she was awake. Blake moved forward and helped the toddler crawl onto the bed with her. He came right up to her and placed a kiss on Gwen’s nose. In return, she placed light kisses all over his face which caused him to start giggling all over again. 

“You didn’t have to do all of that, you know,” she said quietly, shooting him a genuinely appreciative look. “Thank you.”

“Me and the little guy had it covered,” Blake responded. “It was nothing. And you, miss, desperately needed the sleep.”

“Moms of two year olds don’t get sleep. It’s in the motherhood manual.”

Apollo crawled over and laid on his back, and Gwen shifted to sit on the side of the bed with her legs pulled up to her chest as she watched him. She sighed, knowing he was probably exhausted and traumatized from whatever the hell Gavin had put him through. She felt guilty. The guilt was taking over her face as she just kept her gaze on him.

Blake stood up in that moment and came and sat behind her, his arms going around Gwen as he kissed her cheek. That gesture alone seemed to pull her out of her thoughts for a second and she turned to place a long kiss on his lips. Once their lips broke contact, she sighed.

“Don’t do this to yourself,” he said. “This isn’t your fault.”

“Blake, he’s my baby. Even if it’s not something I did, everything that happens to him is my fault. He was sick and hurting when god only knows what the hell Gavin was doing...”

“That’s unrealistic. And way too much of a burden for one person to shoulder, no matter how strong that person is.”

“Kiss me again,” she whispered. Without hesitation, Blake smiled and granted her wish. 

——  
A few hours later, Gwen was standing at the reception counter and signing the release papers and speaking with the doctor. She felt relieved that he was getting better, even though Apollo still had a slight fever. Blake held Apollo in his arms a few feet away from them, his little body out cold against his chest.

Gwen came up beside Blake when she was finished and took his free hand in hers, squeezing it. 

“The doctor said he needs to take it easy, and rest a lot. I need to make sure he drinks enough water when he wakes up and give him some medicine. Otherwise, he looks good. They got rid of the dehydration. And he ate food with you, so they’re not worried about that.” She let out a breath, pausing. “You’re really so good with him, Blake.”

Blake shrugged a little, shrugging it off. “He’s a good baby, Gwen. I have to believe that’s because of you.”

She sighed, and gave him a small smile. Blake’s hand let go of Gwen’s as he moved his arm around her back, pulling her closer into his side.

“I guess I need to figure out accommodations,” Gwen said, her eyes resting on sleeping Apollo. “Considering everything that’s happened, my attorney wants to meet with me first thing tomorrow morning and asked I stay in town at least until then. She has a plan devised to hopefully get full custody.”

“Why don’t you guys just come stay at my place?”

“What?”

“Yeah, my house is over near Santa Monica. I have three bedrooms, there’s plenty of room.”

“You have property here, too? I’m just…surprised, that’s all. Where exactly do you live most of the time?”

He chuckled a little bit. “Well, I just went ahead and bought a house in California because of how often I need to come out here for The Voice. It seemed silly after a few years to just keep renting a different place every time. But I’m still very much an Oklahoma cowboy.”

“Oh.”

“Only if you’re comfortable, though. I don’t want you to think you have to…”

“No, Blake. I’d really like that a lot. It makes it easier. Thank you.”

About 40 minutes later, Blake was pulling into the driveway of his property. Gwen was in the backseat with Apollo, and her eyes fell immediately on a beautiful home - a lot smaller than his ranch in Oklahoma, but still nonetheless beautiful. It seemed so normal for him to have a home like this, which surprised her. The car door next to her opened, suddenly pulling her out of her thoughts. She reached forward into the car seat Blake had gotten from the rental company (seriously, who was this perfect man and where did he come from?), and began unbuckling Apollo, who was still sleeping.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if these meds knocked him out the rest of the day. He’s so exhausted. I can tell.”

She moved out of the seat, stood up, and reached in to pull Apollo into her arms. Immediately, he stirred a little, but soon his head went out cold on Gwen’s shoulder as she held him close. He sighed, and seemed to fall back to sleep immediately. Blake watched her with him, his hand resting on the small of her back as he closed the car door behind them softly. Soon they were walking into the house, Gwen looking back to Blake for instruction on where to put Apollo to bed. He motioned, and opened up the door to one of the smaller bedrooms. Gently, Gwen lowered the two of them down on the bed, letting Apollo lay in the middle. She pulled the blankets over his little body, and grabbed a few of the other pillows around to sandwich him between. Gwen placed a soft kiss on his cheek, and felt his forehead. She sighed, and moved off the bed, turning the lights off once again.

Once she shut the door behind her, she made her way out into the living room area where she found Blake going through cupboards in the kitchen. Gwen came up beside him, her hand resting on the small of his back to let him know she was there.

“What are you in the mood for to eat?” he asked, his arm coming around her and pulling her closer. 

Gwen shrugged a little, just laying her head against him. “You don’t have to cook anything. My stomach is still in knots anyways.” She turned her head to look up to him. “Can we just go lay down instead?”

“Only if you promise you’ll let me cook dinner,” Blake countered, kissing her forehead. Gwen nodded, and Blake led them into the master bedroom right across the hallway from where Apollo was sleeping. Blake walked into his closet for a few minutes, leaving Gwen hovering near the door by herself. Soon, he emerged and handed her a long sleeved flannel shirt. “I can’t imagine your work clothes are comfortable.”

She gave a small smile and accepted it graciously. “Thank you.” She moved into the private bathroom, took a quick shower leaving her hair dry, and changed into the long flannel which swallowed her small frame whole, but it was so comfortable and the best feeling in the world. Once she came back into the bedroom, Blake was already laying on the bed in more comfortable clothes, waiting for her. 

The sight of him still gave her shivers down her spine. He was so thoughtful, and frankly perfect, that she had no idea how any of this happened. Not only had she seemed to find someone who seemed to really like - maybe even _love_ her - but she found someone who seemed to feel the same way about Apollo, too. He was too good to be true, and that was a little scary. She moved forward towards the bed, crawling over to him. Gwen slid one of her legs across his lap and sat facing him. Her arms went around his neck as she kissed him deeply.

Blake exhaled, as his hands naturally found themselves resting on Gwen’s hips as she kissed him. Her body moved forward into him, kissing him deeper. His hands rested on her bare thighs, slowly moving up under the flannel shirt and resting on her naked hips. 

“We don’t have to do this,” Blake said softly. “We can just rest.”

“I _need_ to do this, Blake.”

She kissed him again, pressing her body fully into his. His hands snaked up her back under the shirt, holding her close. Her head dipped to his neck suddenly, as she began placing light kisses along his jawline. She shifted slightly, feeling his erection growing in between her straddled legs. Gwen pulled back slightly to sit on top of him, locking eyes with Blake. Her hands came up slowly to the flannel she was wearing as she slowly, teasingly, began to undo the buttons down the shirt. She pushed back the fabric slightly, revealing her bare chest, erect nipples, and barely being covered by thin underwear. 

She was a goddess before him, and even though he had spent so much time trying to memorize her body, the curves, the softness, the feeling - he was stunned each and every time. 

Her hands lunged forward, tugging at the t-shirt he was wearing to get it off over his head. Next, they moved to his chest, as she gently dragged her nails over him, something she had quickly found out he loved. His hands went to rest on the small of her back again as he moved forward to take the lead this time, kissing her deeply. In one swift motion, Blake had her on her back against the mattress, his body hovering over hers. She let out a breath and continued to kiss him deeply. 

Blake lowered his body in between her legs, which was welcomed pressure against her center. Her legs wrapped around him tightly as she bucked her hips slightly, biting her lip and arching her neck and back once she felt Blake move his mouth to her neck. Her hands rested on his back as she traced her nails along him as he moved lower, finally taking one of her breasts into his mouth. She let out a quiet moan immediately when she felt him tease the tip of her nipple repeatedly, squirming underneath him to show her approval. 

“You’re such a tease, you know that, don’t you?” Gwen whispered, biting her lip again as Blake moved to her other breast and did the same thing. She bucked up against him, not able to get too far as his weight kept her down on the mattress. 

“I’m pretty sure you think it’s worth the buildup in the end,” he teased, taking her back into his mouth. His hands trailed down her sides, his fingers gripping the hem of her underwear on both sides. After paying her breast a bit more attention, he moved up and kissed her lips. “Tell me what you want, Gwen.”

“I want _you_.”

He slowly dragged her underwear down her legs, as he took in the beautiful view before him. She was a little squirmy now that his body didn’t have her pinned beneath him, and it was honestly so endearing to him. Once her underwear was all the way off, he moved back up and gently pulled her legs apart. He came in between them once more, stopping for a moment as he dipped down and suddenly licked her center, which caused her to gasp. The next moment he moved up again, and kissed her deeply on the lips. 

Gwen’s hands reached down, greedily grabbing at the waistband of his sweatpants, tugging them down along with his boxers underneath. Blake broke the kiss and moved his head down to her breasts again as he continued his slow tease on her nipples.

“Oh god Blake…I’m going to explode if you keep doing that…” she breathed, squirming again.

“You need to stay still, baby.”

“I can’t…” she whined. Her hips bucked, her leg wrapping around him to push his erection closer into her.

“I’m just going to keep teasing you until you stay still,” Blake said sadistically, his eyes flashing up to her as he switched to her other breast, slowly taking the nipple into his mouth again. She squirmed, and hit her palms against the bed in frustration.

As he continued to tease, one of his hands moved down between her thighs, feeling the wetness between her legs. She moaned at his touch, her hips writhing, her body desperate for more pressure. Remembering Blake’s words, her hands gripped hard at the sheets below her as she tried so hard to stay still and take the teasing without squirming so much. Her lip was bit, her eyes were sewn shut, and it took all of the muscles in her body to try and withstand his torture.

“Good girl,” he whispered, even though she had to concentrate and forced herself to do so. His hand moved down again between her, and was surprised to feel how much wetter she had become just by him teasing her like that. “Wow,” he breathed silently. He moved to spread her legs again, and Gwen let out a small buck of the hips as she was bursting at the seams. Slowly, he moved inside of her.

Gwen gasped and moaned, her hands going to his hips to help push him deeper inside of her. Once she calmed, and he seemed to settle, their eyes locked. She bent up to kiss him on the lips, her mouth ducking to his ear for a moment. “I trust you, Blake,” she said softly, before she laid her back down on the mattress. He smiled down at her. Gradually, he began establishing a rhythm, his back bent as he continued to kiss her. Gwen arched her back as he came down into her deeper, harder. She moaned and couldn’t help but let a gasp escape her lips once he hit her spot, something that seemed to be so quick and easy for him to manage. 

“Please don’t stop…oh my god…” she breathed, as he quickened his pace. His body came down and hovered over her, the hairs on his chest gently teasing her nipples as their torsos moved in unison. “I’m so…close…” her breath hitched, and with one final thrust he had sent her over the edge, and she was riding out the wave of her orgasm. Between the sight of her falling apart beneath him, their rhythm, and everything else, it only took another two thrusts for Blake to also meet his release simultaneously. 

He slumped over, resting on his stomach and laying next to Gwen. They were both trying to catch their breath, their bodies sensitive to the touch as Gwen reached out for the cowboy next to her. She tugged and pulled the flannel closer to her body, the soft fabric teasing her most sensitive areas as she shifted. She laid on her back, silent, eyes closed.

“Is there anything you’re not good at?” she breathed, and whispered as she looked over to meet his eyes. She smiled a little and bit her lip. His hand reached over and snaked across her midsection to pull her closer, hand resting on her opposite hip. 

“Mmmm…” he groaned. “You utterly exhaust me, woman.”

“This is my favorite way to go to sleep."

She squirmed a little under his touch and moved closer to him, her lips pressing against his as she placed a soft kiss on his lips. He brought both of his arms around her to hold her, and a few moments later they both closed their eyes to finally rest.


	16. Spaghetti

Her eyes opened and fell upon a sleeping cowboy next to her. 

Gwen took in a silent, deep breath at the sight. She seemed to be the one between the two of them that slept less, and it had its advantages. For some reason, she loved watching him sleep. It felt so intimate to be able to witness such a thing, and that was something she vowed in that moment to never take for granted.

It didn’t take long for Blake to shift, opening his eyes to meet hers that were already watching him. They smiled at each other in that moment, Blake planting a quick kiss on her nose as she scrunched her face at him. His hand came back over and rested on her hip. 

“Sleep well?” he asked.

Gwen nodded, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on his lips. “Not surprised, though. You’re really good at wearing me out.” A grin played on her features, a proud look coming across his. Her grin began to fade, her expression becoming more serious as silence fell between them. She reached out and placed a hand on his cheek, caressing his scruff a bit and getting lost in her thoughts.

“What’s on your mind?” Blake asked gently, his eyes meeting hers. 

“Does any of this…scare you?” Her eyes were locked on his, searching for a response. 

“Yes,” he answered honestly. The immediacy of his response was surprising to her. 

“Why does it scare you?”

Blake let out a sigh, as he absentmindedly moved his fingers to trace circles on her hips. After contemplating the best way to say what he wanted to say, his eyes went back to Gwen.

“Because I guess that I’m afraid that I won’t be enough for someone in the long run.”

Those words pained her immediately. Her expression went from relaxed to borderline upset. 

“I hate her.” The words were whispered, and even accompanied by a single tear falling down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. Blake’s eyes widened at her words. “I hate her for destroying you.” She shook her head. It was too much to look him in the eye anymore - she knew she was going to get emotional if she kept this up. She looked to the ceiling instead.

“Do you want to know why all of this scares me?” she asked eventually, her voice low. She let silence fall between them for a few moments, but didn’t wait for a response. “It scares me because I’m falling so hard for you, Blake. And with how complicated my life can be, I’m scared that eventually everything is going to be _too_ much for you, or that I’ll scare you off in some other way. I always seem to scare people off, and I don’t know why.”

“I’m ready to catch you,” he whispered into her ear, placing a kiss on her neck. “And I’m not going anywhere. I swear.”

“Another thing that scares me is how perfect you are,” she said next, closing her eyes as she felt his lips against her neck. “And I want you to know, I need you to know, that you are not only ‘enough’, you’re more than I could have ever asked for. I mean seriously, Blake. You just flew across the country to be with me. You dropped all of your obligations for me. That is so beyond my expectations…and I’m still so touched that you did that. I don’t think you realize what this all means to me.”

“I had to do that, Gwen,” he said, causing her to turn her eyes back to lock with his. “I couldn’t handle the thought of you that upset and alone.” She smiled through her teary eyes as she moved forward to kiss him. His hands came around her back as he pulled her close to him, deepening the kiss.

“We’ve both been put through the ringer in our past relationships,” Blake began. “And yes, this is scary…and we both have things we are trying to get past. But you’ve brought nothing but happiness to my life since I met you. I’ve also never been able to talk to someone so honestly as I do with you. I’m falling for you too, Gwen. I fell so fast, I already hit the ground.”

Gwen chuckled a little at his attempt to be cute, placing a kiss on his lips again as her hand went to his head. “Maybe that’s why you’re still here…you suffered enough brain damage to not realize you should probably run far, far, away from me…” 

Blake’s expression changed from serious to playful and shocked, as they both laughed as he turned her onto her back, leaned on top of her and kissed her again. He pulled back and they both smiled at each other, the mood lighter. His hand rested on her waist, gently dragging down her bare skin.

“Mmmm…don’t start anything you don’t intend to finish, cowboy,” she said with a raised eyebrow after he ‘accidentally’ moved his hand between her breasts. His hand moved down, dipping in between her legs as he ran a finger against the length of her center. She moaned slightly. 

“You’re still so wet,” he whispered in her ear. She bit her lip. She turned her head to kiss him.

“I’m not surprised. There’s this pretty hot cowboy that’s pretty good at doing things to me…” She kissed him again. 

She jolted and sat up when she heard Apollo begin crying from the other room. She let out a breath, sighed, and looked down to Blake. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, as she tugged the flannel shirt around her and started buttoning the buttons back up. He reached for her arm, and looked at her intently. 

“Don’t ever apologize to me because you have a son who needs you,” Blake said. “He has to be your number one priority.”

“I’ll be right back.” She smiled at him, gave him a quick kiss on the lips, and hopped off the bed to go to the next room. Once she pushed open the door, she saw a very confused two year old sitting in the middle of the bed, a few tears coming down his cheeks. His attention snapped to Gwen immediately.

“Hi, baby!” she said, crawling onto the bed and smiling hugely at him, which seemed to start to calm him down. She was sure he was a bit frightened at the unfamiliar room, and he immediately crawled onto Gwen’s lap and laid his head against her chest. She placed a kiss on his head and held him for a few minutes, feeling his forehead for a fever. She pulled them to the edge of the bed and stood up with him in her arms, moving across the hallway and hovering in the doorframe to the master. There she saw Blake, his clothes back on, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Someone’s awake and wants to say hi,” Gwen said cheerfully, bringing Apollo over and sitting next to Blake. Apollo yawned a bit and once he saw Blake, a tired smile played on his face. 

“Hi buddy,” he said with a grin, as he reached forward to ruffle his hair. “He looks like he feels better.”

“I think so, too,” Gwen agreed. 

“Come on, let me go get dinner started for us,” Blake said, nudging at her. Gwen nodded, and stood up and walked them to the kitchen with Blake. 

“So, in an effort to be Apollo friendly…how does spaghetti sound?” Blake asked.

“Ghettiiiiiiiiii” Apollo said suddenly, popping his head up and looking at Blake. Gwen giggled. 

“It doesn’t matter what I think anymore, you just said his second favorite word,” she said. “Only second to T-A-G…” she spelled out as to not trigger her son’s memory of his love for the word. This was the first time in two weeks he seemed to forget about it for the time being. 

“Pollo help,” he said, looking up to Blake. Gwen smiled and looked to Blake, who’s face lit up in that moment. 

“Of course you can, buddy, if you’re up for it,” he reached his arms out to him, and Apollo gladly jumped into them and out of Gwen’s. Blake brought him over to the sink and helped him wash his hands, and sat him on the opposite side of the burner to keep him away from the hot stove. Gwen same and stood by Apollo as Blake filled a pot with water. He came over and handed Apollo a few dry spaghetti noodles.

“I need you to help me break them in half…like this…” Blake said, taking a few noodles and snapping them in half and putting them in the pot. He giggled a little bit and laughed, as he took a few noodles and did the same, thoroughly entertained by the snapping noise of the pasta as he giggled each time he made one snap. 

“You’ve made his whole day,” Gwen said, giggling, reaching over and kissing Blake on the cheek. She fell silent and continued to watch the interaction between the two of them. It was almost too much for her heart to handle. 

He continued to help Apollo put in snapped spaghetti noodles into the pot until there was enough for the three of them, and the toddler watched in wonder as Blake stirred the pot and continued to cook the noodles. 

“You’re such a big help in the kitchen, buddy,” Blake commented, which made Apollo grin. “Do you want to help me stir a bit?” He nodded profusely, and Blake reached forward to pull him into his arms and handed him the spoon. “Nice and easy…remember the water is hot, little man.” Slowly, Apollo swirled the spoon around the pot, tentatively looking up at Blake for encouragement. 

“All dooooone” Apollo said, handing the spoon back to him. Blake and Gwen laughed, as Apollo leaned over to Gwen and she took him back into her arms.

Blake finished cooking the pasta, and soon was adding in the various ingredients with the pasta sauce to make it complete. He pulled out three bowls from the cupboard, and started filling them. A few moments later, he brought them over to the dining room table and sat down next to Gwen, who was holding Apollo. She moved her bowl to the side and out of Apollo’s reach and cut his pasta up into tiny pieces, small enough to be able to scoop up with a spoon. If she knew anything about two year olds and long pasta noodles with red sauce, it was that it never ended well unless she cut it up tiny. 

Gwen helped feed Apollo, her eyes occasionally glancing up to look at the cowboy next to them. Blake took a big bite of spaghetti and smiled at her, eventually finishing his own and setting the fork in the bowl. 

“Let me take him for a little bit,” he offered. “Yours is getting cold.”

He held out his arms for Apollo and he willingly went with Blake, Gwen moving his bowl over towards them and not being able to keep her eyes off of watching him with her son. 

“Are you totally sure you don’t have kids?” she asked, as she reached behind her to pull her own bowl back in front of her. She twisted the pasta noodles around the fork and took a bite, exhaling. “This tastes so good.”

He smiled. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

After finishing dinner, they all migrated over to the couch and found a kids movie on TV which soon had Apollo mesmerized. Gwen soon found her way back into Blake’s arms, with little Apollo right in the middle of them. One by one, they slowly began falling asleep, exhausted from the last 24 hours.


	17. New Normal

It had been such a long, exhausting day, and it wasn’t even lunchtime.

Gwen couldn’t help but awake in the early hours in the morning, sandwiched between two sleeping boys on the living room couch. It was around four in the morning when she began stirring, which accidentally woke Blake up as he pulled her in closer to him. She wiggled in his arms a bit until he opened his eyes. 

“Come on, let’s go to bed,” she whispered. Slowly, she had stood up with Apollo in her arms and walked him into the spare bedroom, soon taking Blake’s hand in hers as she let him lead her into the master. They both crashed immediately on top of one another. But Gwen still couldn’t close her eyes.

Around six in the morning, she was fidgety. Rest wasn’t easy to come by. It was as if she needed someone to hit a reset button on her, she had gotten all of this sleep the last day thanks in large part to Blake being an angel, but she was used to running on caffeine and nervous energy. This was different.

And, of course, if the fact that she had to meet with her lawyer in the morning didn’t give her anxiety, she didn’t know what would.

“I need a favor, Blake,” she remembered asking meekly, once she was certain he was up for the morning.

“What is it, babe?” he asked, his arm caressing down her side.

“Are you okay with…I mean, would you be comfortable…staying here with Apollo this morning so I can go meet with my attorney on my own?”

He sighed a little. “I know it’s probably not my business, but I don’t like the idea of you going alone. I like being there for you, Gwen.”

She nodded. “I know. And I so appreciate it. It’s just that…he’s been through so much these last few days, and maybe even longer than that and I just…I feel like it would be less stress on him if he’s not watching me get emotional all over again in the lawyer’s office. Because even the best news in the world would get me emotional, and I know that.” 

“Of course I will stay here with him. I’m just worried about you.”

“I’ll be okay,” she said, less than convincingly. 

“I’m so convinced,” he said, sarcastically.

She moved forward and kissed him on the lips.

It had been a lot less emotionally stressful than she imagined. Her lawyer had gone over all of the procedures and filings she was prepared to make, and Gwen felt like she signed so many papers she signed her life away all over again. It was a weird elation she felt - like she had done everything humanly possible to get her son back to her, and now it was all in the hands of some very highly paid attorneys. It helped that Gavin would be spending a minimum of a few months in jail for the drug incident, and though she really didn’t wish harm on anyone, she couldn’t help but feel so satisfied that was his punishment. 

“We’re still leaving California tonight, right?” she asked Blake immediately when she saw him again. They were hovering in the foyer to his home, Gwen barely out of the car and in the house before the words escaped her mouth.

“If that’s what you want, of course…what’s wrong, honey? What happened?”

“Nothing happened. I mean, nothing bad happened I just…even though I grew up here, even though my parents don’t live terribly far away from here, this whole place just reminds me of him right now and I just have this instinct to grab my baby and get out. Especially with custody being so shaky. My lawyer is prepared to fight - she says we have the best chance, it’s just…all of this nervous energy when I don’t feel 100% confident in what’s going to happen, you know?”

He nodded and brought her in for a hug. “I can have the plane ready in an hour to go back to Atlanta. Does that sound good?” She nodded profusely. 

“I already e-mailed my boss and I’m taking some time off. I can’t fathom to leave him right now.” she paused. “Can you…I mean, would you want to come with us? I mean, I don’t want to screw up your schedule any more than I already have but…I don’t know. It’s stupid, probably, you probably want to get back to the rest of your life…”

“Why do you doubt yourself like that?” he asked gently, continuing to hold her. “I’ve already cancelled concerts through the weekend. And I don’t have anything until Tuesday next week. Not saying that I’m going to stay that long, but uh. I’m coming with you whether you like it or not…or, I mean, if you really didn’t want me to come I probably wouldn’t, but you know what I mean.” He grinned at her.

Gwen laughed a little, burying her face in his chest. “You’re too much. And really cute when you’re tongue tied.”

“Come on, let’s go pack.”

——  
The next few days were pure bliss - they were so tender, so normal, that she never wanted this to end. She had no idea how she went on for so long in her life putting up with someone like Gavin, when there was someone like this amazing guy that was just over the moon excited to spoil her rotten.

Her entire day on Friday disappeared from in front of her eyes from the cross-country flight. It sucked all of the energy out of her, and she felt like she had spent the day in some weird time warm - dangling between the two realities of being in California and returning to Atlanta, the latter of which just felt a little more safe. She had barely made it into her apartment with a fast asleep Apollo and a yawning cowboy - she put Apollo down in his bed, and remembered dragging Blake into the bedroom and forcing them both to lay down immediately. She didn’t last long after that, she fell asleep immediately.

Saturday morning was when it started to get almost too real. Gwen was never one to sleep in, but she managed to that morning. It was somewhere around 11 in the morning when Blake came into her room with a plate of blueberry waffles, Apollo excitedly trailing behind him. She remembered being in shock as she pulled her baby boy and her cowboy onto the bed with her to dig into them together. It felt weirdly like they were already a family, which was just so crazy and scary with the length of time they had been together - but god, they had really just happened so fast and she honestly lived for this already.

Saturday afternoon had been one for the record books. After putting Apollo down for a nap, Gwen remembered sneaking down to the living room couch where Blake was sitting. Her leg slid over him and she sat on his lap. She bent forward and nipped playfully at his ear lobe.

“I think I need a shower,” she whispered, body practically melting into his as his arms came around her.

“Mmm…is that so?” Blake said with that cheeky, dimpled grin, his hands moving down to her ass. Gwen moved her hips towards him, her head cocking to the side as a sultry grin rested on her features. 

“I don’t wanna go by myself,” she pouted, biting her lip and swirling her hips again. It only took a moment for Blake’s arms to grab around her, standing up with her in his arms and starting to walk them up the stairs, Gwen giggling the entire way even though she was trying not to wake Apollo. 

“I’m not going to wait for a second invitation on that one,” he said lowly, grinning and kissing her neck as they ascended the stairs.

She remembered him putting her down lightly in front of the shower, his hand reaching in to turn the hot water on. Clothes seemed to peel off instantly and they found themselves under the warm, soothing stream of water. This new, unfamiliar sensation with his arms around her like this in the shower was causing her breathing to shallow. Her blonde locks were soaked, sticking close to her shoulders, but for some reason them being drenched just made it even hotter to begin with. 

He leaned forward and kissed her, quickly slipping his tongue into her mouth. Gwen took a breath and parted her lips, soon intensifying the kiss, as their make out session seemed to turn dirty on the turn of a dime. He had her back pushed up against the wall, the cold tile sending shivers down her spine. His lips came to her neck as they both needed to catch their breaths.

“Turn…around…” Blake shuddered, as his hand came down to tap her lightly on her ass. In that moment her eyes flew open, almost in a panic as she let out a breath.

“W..what?” she managed, eyes still wide as they locked on him.

Noticing her sudden change in demeanor, he pulled back a little, his eyes finding hers. It then dawned on him. “Gwen, I didn’t mean…” he began, but soon stopped his line of thought as he saw Gwen’s cheeks turn red and her eyes avert away from him. His hands went to her shoulders, softly caressing them. “Hey, I’m sorry…I just wanted to go inside of you from behind, but Gwen we don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do.” He breathed, feeling himself getting a bit flustered, and usually when he got flustered, he was famous for talking too much. “I’m sorry. I’m such an idiot…I…”

“Wait. Just…going in normal…? Not…?”

“No! Gwen, I wouldn’t ever try and do that without talking to you…”

She seemed to visibly exhale and relax in front of him, which relieved him. He offered her a small smile, even though there was no denying her cheeks were still red from embarrassment. She kept quiet, though, and eventually Blake nudged at her a little bit to bring her back to reality.

“I haven’t done that before…” she confessed, not able to really hold his eyes in that moment. Blake took a risk and moved forward, his lips softly placing a kiss on her lips. Her arms came back up around him.

“And we don’t have to…we don’t have to…”

“I mean, what’s it like?”

Her big, brown eyes were looking up at him for an explanation. It was times like these when she was way too endearing for her own good. He offered her a small smile, his hands going to her waist as he kissed her again.

“It’s…different. It’s a different view, and usually it allows me to _really_ pleasure you…” he kissed her again. “It’s pretty hot. But I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, baby.”

Gwen let out a breath, her lips finding his again as she contemplated for a moment. 

“I trust you,” she said finally. “Just…oh my god, only if you help me. Because I have no idea what I’m doing…”

“You know how adorable you are, don’t you?”

“Stop it.” Her nose scrunched. 

“I’m serious.”

She lurched forward, kissing him deeply as her arms went around him again to shut him up. She pulled back a little, holding onto his hands as she awaited his instruction.

Blake kissed her cheek, tugging at her hand. “Come over here and hold onto the bar,” he said gently, and she obliged. Blake came behind her, his hands trailing down her back as it arched and gave him such a perfect view. He leaned forward into her body, kissing her neck. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yes,” she whispered, his body against hers making simple breathing difficult. Slowly, he held her hips as he slid into her from behind. Her eyes widened, her lip biting as she adjusted to him. “Oh my god…” she whispered, her back arching as he moved into her deeper. She remembered looking over her shoulder and grinning, and she was a goner. 

She had no problems sleeping that night. Round one, round two, and round three had worn her out, she even felt guilty that she had no energy left to play with Apollo that evening. But god, it was so worth it. 

Sunday was another lazy day. Blake had gotten so accustomed to just using her kitchen, like it wasn’t even a question if he was cooking anymore. Gwen never got much use out of it, so she felt grateful that he enjoyed it so much. And besides, they were definitely enjoying those benefits. On Sunday he cooked cinnamon rolls, and she could definitely have gotten used to this. They lazily made their way to the park, hand in hand in hand (with Apollo in the middle, of course). The normalcy she felt not only just being home with her son but being with Blake was exactly what she had needed from the nightmare of a trip she had made to California the prior week. It was surprising how Blake just knew what she needed.

He had gotten the call that afternoon that could have torn her heart into pieces. While Blake hadn’t had any shows booked until Tuesday, his manager was dead set on flying him out bright and early on Monday to get into a few last minute promotional interviews. Blake was visibly conflicted, Gwen silently listening to their conversation. He was wavering, and she knew he needed a push in one direction or the other.

“Blake…” she nudged and whispered, and he put his manager on hold as he held his hand over the phone. “Baby, I think you should go…you’ve already done so much and I know you have things to do. Besides, it will give me and Apollo a chance to get back to normal…and give me a chance to really miss you again.” She sighed at the last part, her hand intertwining with his as she squeezed it.

“Gwen, they’re just interviews…they’re really not that huge of a deal. I’m not going to lose my career by skipping a few…”

“Blake, you’ve cancelled shows this week. I don’t know anything about the music business but I know that’s a big deal.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on her lips, before turning his attention back to the phone. “Alright, man, I’ll fly out in the morning.” He hung up, and sighed again, his arm going around Gwen’s body to tug her closer to him. 

“Aren’t you playing some huge festival this week in addition to a few of your own shows?” she asked, poking him in the side a little as her eyes went up to him.

“Yeah…it’s that Country Music Bonanza thing in Kentucky,” he replied. It’s this huge three day thing, I’ll be there Thursday through the weekend…”

“Well,” she began, turning up in his arms to look at him. “Why don’t we fly up and see you? I mean, if you’re not too busy with things. I don’t want to intrude if you’re busy, of course, but it’d be really nice to see you.”

That large, dimpled grin came back full force. “Really??” he asked, probably a little too excited.

“Of course, ‘really’,” she giggled, her arms tightening around him. “It’ll give me a few days home with the little guy, and we can have a little adventure with you in your life. I think it’s perfect.” His hand came down to her cheek next, moving her up as he kissed her deeply.

That was the deal. She only had to suffer through three days without seeing him this time, and then she won the opportunity to spend time with him again. Standing on that tarmac was never easy, after all. What made it worse was when Blake came over to Gwen holding Apollo and he engulfed them both completely in a hug. Apollo’s face seemed to sour, feeling something was off, as the first tears of the day came streaming down Gwen’s cheek. Blake looked at her, concerned.

“I’m so good,” she said, bouncing Apollo on her hip and smiling through her teary eyes trying to convince both of them. “I mean, we’re flying in three days to see you. I can’t wait, baby.” She reached up and kissed him.

“I’ll call you when I land, I promise,” he said, his arm around her. 

“I know you will. And, you need to go kick ass at these interviews. Because you’re amazing, and the whole world should get to see it.”

He kissed her again, deeply. She saw from behind him that the pilot came out of the cockpit and stood at the top of the stairs, obviously waiting on Blake.

“Come on, you need to go,” Gwen urged. She got on her tip toes one more time and planted another kiss on his lips before pulling herself away. Blake sighed, and turned towards the plane and started walking towards it. He stopped a few feet in, turning to look back to her.

“I just want to let you know…I wouldn’t have changed this past week for anything. I would have done it all over again.”

And with that, he gave a small smile before he climbed the stairs to the plane, not looking back again for fear of not being able to leave.


	18. Caught

Never in her life had three days felt like an eternity.

It was relaxing for Gwen to just be home with Apollo - no daycare, no rushing off to work every morning, just the two of them genuinely getting to spend quality time together. It always worried her knowing that he was growing up, and one day he probably wouldn’t want anything to do with her, so these moments were so precious to her. Apollo seemed a little distant, though, even though he was enjoying being home with Gwen something had just been off. Gwen felt off. She knew it was because she was missing Blake, but there was no way Apollo felt that way too…or did he?

She made the next few days all about her baby boy. When she realized Apollo had been distant, she got them up the next morning and got them dressed to go to his favorite place - the aquarium. He seemed to perk up a bit, grinning and pointing out various sea creatures to Gwen as they walked the giant, hollowed aquarium halls together. He pressed his little face up against the glass as he was hypnotized once again, but there was this nagging feeling in the back of her mind where the aquarium just made her think of him. Just made her think of how Blake and Apollo clicked from the start, and it warmed her heart but also made her sad. This wasn’t doing anything to help her miss him less, but she knew the important thing was that it was distracting Apollo and cheering him up. God, she was so glad he was home.

The next day, Lizzy texted her and wanted to have lunch to make sure she was ok. Gwen had been distant since the incident with Gavin in California, and Lizzy knew her friend needed space as she worked through it. And now with Gwen taking some time off, Lizzy was definitely worried. When Gwen and Apollo made their way to a restaurant near her office building, she felt Lizzy excitedly come up from behind and wrap her arms around them both. 

“G!” she had exclaimed, her eyes widening and grinning as she came around and saw Apollo. “And little handsome Apollo, of course,” she said, kissing his forehead. Her eyes went up to Gwen, searching for her emotions. Gwen was good at keeping herself together, and in that moment she was hard to read. 

The waiter had led them down to their table, and once Apollo was settled in next to Gwen, Lizzy reached her hand out to squeeze Gwen’s, which brought her attention to her friend. “I’ve been worried about you guys,” she said genuinely. “And…I’ve been trying to give you space and not bug you, or ask you about things, I just…I’ve been really worried and I hope you’re okay.”

“Blake cancelled concerts and flew across the country to meet me in California,” she confessed to a wide eyed Lizzy, as Gwen watched her jaw practically drop in front of her. “We stayed at his house in Santa Monica when we were out there. And…he came back to Atlanta with us for a few days before having to take off for a few shows this week. And…we’re flying out tomorrow to go visit him for a few days in Kentucky. He’s doing a festival up there.” She let out a breath, as her eyes went back to Lizzy, trying to search for her reaction.

“Holy shit,” was all she could say. Silence fell for a few moments before she tried again. “Gwen…I mean..oh my god, you guys are getting really serious…you need to be careful.”

“Lizzy, don’t you think I know that?” she breathed, her eyes going to Apollo. “My entire life is about Apollo. It has to be. But Blake…oh my god, he’s in love with him, and Apollo is already obsessed with him. I had to endure the aquarium again yesterday because I think we’re both missing him. It cheered him up. It made me more depressed.”

“Do you love him?” Lizzy asked.

“I’ve never been with anyone like this before. I’ve never been with anyone like this that has cared so much, so deeply, that I’ve connected to and I’m this torn up about being apart from. It’s not just a sex or infatuation thing. I’ve fallen for this guy and…I don’t think ‘love’ is too far away from where we’re at.”

“Well, I have to admit I’m skeptical, but Gwen, I really hope this works out…and that you take it slow until you’re sure this is someone who is going to love and treat you the way you deserve. Someone who is going to be there for Apollo at as many soccer games as humanly possible as he grows up. You know?”

“I’m not worried about that with him…” she began, sipping her water. “I mean, Lizzy. The guy jumps on a plane to California when he has no idea what’s happening, that says a lot.”

Soon, Lizzy had to get back to work and hugged both Gwen and Apollo goodbye. The two of them got lost the rest of the day walking downtown, eventually ending up in a small park where Apollo started running around in the grass and giggling as she chased the pigeons around. God, even parks made her miss him.

The next morning couldn’t have come soon enough. Gwen was up early, packing their bags and getting them ready. A car was sent and picked them up right on time and drove them both to the executive terminal at ATL. This terminal was starting to become her favorite and most dreaded place. Apollo was settled in to the window seat as his little eyes looked out, watching the clouds pass by. It was a short flight, and before they knew it, they were descending the stairs onto the tarmac.

She wasn’t expecting him to be there waiting for her, but he was. Her eyes caught his and he grinned, a huge smile then coming across her face. Once Apollo jumped down on the final step he looked up and saw him for the first time, his grin widening as he started running towards Blake. 

“Blakeeeeee!” Apollo explained, as Blake crouched down on the ground and opened his arms up to the toddler. Apollo ran full force into his arms giggling, Blake hugging him immediately upon contact. Blake planted a kiss on top of the toddler’s forehead as Apollo began bouncing around in excitement. “Look Blakee, fishy!” Apollo exclaimed, showing Blake the small stuffed fish in his hand that Gwen had bought him at the aquarium. Gwen couldn’t help but stand back, remaining on the last stair and watching him with her baby boy. It was such a tender moment, and one that she didn’t want to forget. 

He scooped Apollo up and into his arms and chit chatted with him as he made his way over to Gwen, who still had this huge smile plastered on her face. He came right up to her and looked her straight in the eyes, their heights even to one another as she was still standing on the last step. His arm went around her at the same time she practically jumped into his arms, squealing a bit as Blake spun her around a little and holding her tight before setting her down next to him. Her hands cupped both of his cheeks as she pushed onto her toes and kissed him deeply. She exhaled, breaking the kiss but not their eye contact.

“God, cowboy, I can’t tell you how badly I needed that,” she said, her arms coming around his waist and hugging him, eyes still focused on his. Apollo was in his other arm, hugging onto Blake as well, and he didn’t think he could have been higher on cloud nine in that moment. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Gwen’s forehead, which caused her to melt. Apollo started tapping his hand against Blake’s shoulder, his head cocked to the side and Blake chuckled as he realized he was trying to get his attention. He leaned forward and placed a kiss on the toddler’s cheek, which caused him to giggle and bounce.

“He’s already so in love with you,” she whispered, looking from her son to her cowboy. “I mean…we both are.”

Blake's eyes widened in that moment, trying to contain his schoolboy level excitement as he hugged her tighter. It was an indirect way of saying those three little words - those three little words that had made his life so complicated before, but he would have sworn to anyone that with Gwen, it was going to be different. He took a nervous breath, his dimpled smile showing again as he hugged them both against him.

“And I love both of you,” he said quietly. Now it was Gwen’s turn to contain the schoolgirl level excitement as she buried her face into his chest, taking in his scent.

After the car service collected their things, the large escalade drove them back to the hotel they would be staying at. In typical Blake fashion, the elevator scaled to the top floor as they stepped out into the largest, private suite, Apollo immediately taking off and running around the spacey hotel room. Gwen sat on the couch and watched him, laughing a little. 

“I’m going to go take a quick shower while you guys get settled in,” Blake said, coming to lean down and placing a kiss on her lips.

“Mmmm…I wish I could join you,” she pouted, her eyes going back to her rambunctious toddler. “I mean, the things you’ve done to me in the shower…I’m still dreaming about.” She bit her lip and looked at him, maybe a bit too seductively. 

“Baby, you’re not playing fair,” he warned, kissing her quickly before forcing himself away from her. Because god, he was going to get the both of them into a lot of trouble if he let her keep on like that. 

Once Apollo settled eventually, Gwen pulled out her phone and turned it on for the first time since the flight. The screen lit up as various e-mails, missed calls, and text messages began appearing. Her eyebrow raised as she realized how many missed texts and calls she had gotten, going into them immediately to see who they were from. 

_GWEN. You need to turn on E! News. RIGHT NOW! I’m not kidding! -Lizzy_

Her stomach flipped as she read the most recent text, her hand going forward to the table and scrambling to grab the controller, thumbing the buttons until she fell on the right channel. 

Her eyes came to the screen, and she froze. She couldn’t say anything. She couldn’t move. The reporter was going on and on, but all she could focus on were the pictures - and then the video - that came across the screen. Pictures and videos of _her_. 

Tears started streaming down her cheeks once her mind tuned in to exactly what the reporters were gabbing about. 

_Does Blake Shelton have a new sex kitten? Photos have recently surfaced of the country hottie exiting a sex shop in Oklahoma with a mystery blonde in tow looking pretty keen to dig into that shopping bag of theirs…meanwhile, this isn’t the first time we’ve seen this mystery blonde as this footage is live within the hour as the two look pretty cozy snuggling up to one another next to his private plane. Is Blake getting in the business of flying hookers out to see him, and ones with children, at that? It doesn’t quite seem to line up with all of the rumors swirling around about Blake and Miranda rekindling their romance…I guess we’ll have to wait and see what their performance is like this weekend at Kentucky’s Country Music Bonanza…stay tuned…_

The images of her and Blake from Oklahoma kept moving through the screen, and the video of her, Blake, and Apollo kept playing in the background just before a picture of Blake and Miranda kissing at their wedding came up next to them. Gwen didn’t know how long she was sitting there, but the moment Blake emerged from his shower and saw her in tears and frozen on the couch, he went immediately to her.

“Gwen, whats wrong??” he asked in a panic, as his hand came to rest on her arm. His touch shook her back to reality and on instinct, she pulled away, a few sobs escaping. His face looked hurt in that moment, confused, as he carefully tried again. “Baby, please, talk to me…”

 _So back to these pictures about Blake Shelton and this new sex kitten of his, I mean…we all knew he went for blondes, but you’ve gotta admit this one is pretty hot…he totally seems like the type to slum it up a bit, am I right….?_ The TV began going off again, the images filling the screen as the same news story repeated over again, Blake’s eyes widening in disbelief. When he had heard enough, his hand reached for the controller and shut the TV off, just as a few more sobs escaped from Gwen.

“Gwen, I need you to listen to me,” he said lowly, deliberately. He knew it was risky, but he moved towards her to close the distance between them on the couch, his hands coming up to hold her cheeks, his fingers wiping away a few tears that were there. She felt tense when he touched her in that moment. And it broke his heart. “Shhh…” he tried to soothe her, as she tried to find words to speak, but she couldn’t just yet.

“I’m so sorry that happened,” he said genuinely, the pain visible on his face as this was the last person he ever wanted to get hurt because of him. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Is it true?” her voice broke, as her eyes searched his for a response and meaning. She took a deep, shaky breath in. “Are you and your ex singing a song together at this festival? Is any of that nonsense true? I…it wasn’t just me, oh my god, Apollo was in that video with us…”

“She’s not supposed to be at this event, I don’t know why they said any of that,” he responded, his hands moving down to her shoulders as he gently pulled her into his chest. “We are absolutely not performing together, god, I don’t even want to fucking look at her or talk to her, I would never agree to that.” Her breath was shaky against him as her hands clenched the fabric of his shirt. Apollo stood up and came waddling over to them and looked at Gwen confused. Feeling a bit guilty for getting emotional in front of him she reached out and pulled Apollo into her lap, hugging him tightly. Blake’s hand held her back against him as his other rubbed her back.

“You can’t watch those TV shows, you can’t read those magazines…because 95% of them are not true and they just say things to make money and stir up drama,” Blake explained calmly. “My feelings for you are real. And those things they said about Miranda and I are bullshit. And honey, _baby_ , you are so much more to me than some random ‘sex kitten’. Being with you, getting to know you, and Apollo, it's changed my life. And I’m so sorry that this is the part of my life that will always suck, and that it’s already hurt you so much…”

In that moment she moved to crawl and sit in his lap with Apollo, and she felt Blake relax a bit once she made that move. He looked down at her and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes.

“I didn’t doubt that your feelings are real. Mine are so real, it’s scary. And that…seeing that on TV just really scared me,” Gwen started. “I trust you that you don’t know anything about Miranda being at this festival thing. I don’t care what names they’re calling me, I’m just scared for Apollo to get dragged into anything.” She let out a breath as she buried her face in his chest, his arms tightening around her.

“I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you, I swear,” Blake said as he held her, his words whispering directly into her ear. She pulled up a little bit and placed a kiss on his lips, feeling the tension of the situation ease up a bit as he reciprocated. 

“Love you,” she breathily whispered into his ear, before she laid her head back against him. His arms came around both of them a bit tighter in that moment, as he kissed the top of her head.

“Love you.”

——  
A few hours later, Gwen found herself sitting on the side of the stage next to Taylor. Apollo was sitting in front of her on the ground with big headphones around his neck to eventually protect his little ears from the loud concert noises, perfectly content in his own world as he played with a puzzle toy. Blake would be out any second now to rehearse, and he had promised to show Apollo his guitars at the end as the little guy just seemed so fascinated with them. 

She felt a bit calmer, and was actually looking forward to the evening. She knew if anything, Apollo would be fascinated with all of the lights and action. Taylor was making small talk with her, which she appreciated as a distraction. Blake emerged from the back of the stage as he waited for his guitar tech to finish tuning his guitar. And that’s when she saw it - a five foot something blonde that seemed to be on a warpath, or at least a bee line, right towards him. Her heart sank as her hands gripped the chair she was sitting on tightly. She didn’t need introductions to realize exactly who that was.

“Blake Shelton!” it exclaimed for the whole world to hear. “How have you been, baby? Screwing any new ‘sex kitten hookers’ these days? I guess after you made the mistake of not wanting me anymore, you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel these days.” 

Gwen gulped, only able to make out parts of the interaction between them. She felt torn, wanting to run to his side but also not knowing if he needed space.

“Leave me alone, Miranda. Go to your side of the stage, and I’ll stay on mine,” he said, trying his best to diffuse the situation. 

Miranda rolled her eyes. “You were always some redneck idiot that could barely hold a tune,” she said. “No drive, no ambition, no wonder your career is shit. You’re never going to amount to anything because you’re so damn lazy. You really did me a favor, you know. I should really thank you.”

Taylor’s attention grabbed on the interaction, as she watched the two of them carefully. It was hard to hear the whole encounter, but the moment she saw Blake’s face fall in that defeated way that only Miranda had ever managed, she nudged Gwen urgently. “Gwen, go, he needs you, _now_.”

Gwen’s attention snapped back to Taylor, her eyes wide. “Apollo…?” was all she could manage.

“I’ve got Apollo, Gwen, go, he needs you,” Taylor urged, which caused Gwen to shoot up from her seat and walk briskly over to them. Miranda’s face lit up in joy once she realized Gwen had joined them. Her attention briefly turned to Taylor, confirming that she was taking Apollo away from the situation so he didn’t have to see anything if something were to happen. 

“Look who we have here…sex kitten hooker, fresh off the plane,” she said, then scoffed. “This is your new charity case, really, Blake? Is her hair even real?” In that moment, Miranda reached out and gently took a fistful of Gwen’s hair into her hand to gesture it up towards Blake, but Gwen wasn’t having it. In one swift motion she hit Miranda’s arm away from her as hard as she could, her hands moving to Blake’s sides as she forcefully backed them both away from her. 

“Blake, let’s go back to your dressing room,” she said, insistently. “She’s not worth it. Come on, baby.”

“ _BABY?_ ” Miranda started cackling. “Oh my god, that’s priceless. I’m only sorry the guy I hired to follow Blake around to see what he was up to could have gotten closer to hear what you guys talk about because wow, I’m sure it’s really hilarious. Though I got more than I bargained for with those pictures of you two at that sex shop...”

“That was you?!” Blake could have screamed, as he moved Gwen out of his way as his body lurched towards her. “Who the fuck do you think you are to try and hurt people like that? I don’t care what you want to do to me, but leave them out of this!”

Gwen moved up as her hands went to him again, pushing at him to back away from her. “Blake, please, come on, let’s go…just drop it, come on…”

“Ugh, now you’re boring me. Whatever. Have fun with your pathetic life with your shitty records and Walmart knock off version of me,” Miranda said. “Umm, sweetie? You should know that Blake was always pretty useless and lousy with just about everything, so if I were you I’d run far, far away from that broken mess.” And with that, she stalked off. 

Both of them were left in a stunned silence - but mostly Blake. Gwen’s eyes moved up to look at him, and he looked as if he was about to shut down. She took his hand in hers and tugged for him to follow. She led him back to the dressing room in silence, bringing him over to the couch and nudging at him to sit down. Once he did, she moved and sat on hop of him, her arms sliding around his neck. He looked so broken - so defeated, and it broke her heart. He was avoiding eye contact with her - heck, he wasn’t even touching her like he normally would have been. One of her hands came up and gently pushed back his hair before resting on his cheek, moving him to look at her. Without a word, she leaned forward and planted a slow, long kiss on his lips. She pulled back just slightly as she hovered near him, whispering into his ear. 

“Baby, come back to me…”

Her words must have triggered something in him, as she soon felt his arms embrace her in a tight hug. Her arms stayed hugging him around his neck as her cheek rested on his shoulder. Blake just sat there in silence, needing to hold her. Needing to hold _onto_ her, almost as if he was afraid she was going to leave. After what felt like an eternity she pulled up a little bit to meet his eyes. 

“You don’t have to hide from me,” she reminded him gently, as she knew he was holding back his emotions. She leaned forward and kissed him again, pulling back only to plant a delicate kiss on his nose. He recognized the same caring, nurturing demeanor in her that he had witnessed time and time again with how she handled Apollo. He took a deep breath and let it out, which made Gwen relax slightly as it was the first sign of life he had given her since they got back to the room. 

“I’m…I’m so sorry she said those horrible things to you. And I’m so sorry she was the one responsible for those pictures…” was all he said, as his face wrinkled in confusion. 

“Blake, I don’t care about that shit. I care about you,” she said adamantly. “And you - oh my god. You are the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life and my heart is breaking over how hurt you are right now. I can’t believe how she treats you. You don’t deserve that. You deserve the entire world.” Gwen forced herself to shut her eyes tight as she fought back her own emotions, because she knew now more than ever Blake needed her to be strong for the both of them. She opened her eyes again, finding his gaze. 

“It just all comes back, you know?” was all he said in response. “Years of that. And it only takes a few minutes to put me right back to where I was a year ago.”

“Tell me what you need.”

“I just need you right now, Gwen.”

“You’ve got me.”

She kissed him again, her arms going around his neck. His hands slid up and rested on her hips, as he deepened the kiss between them. Their make out session intensified, as she continued to kiss him and she felt him getting hard for her in between her legs. She pushed up a bit on her knees and tugged her shirt over her head, soon returning to his lips before moving to his neck and placing kisses along his jawline. His hands moved around her bare back, as Gwen was definitely doing wonders to get his mind off of what had just happened. He was relaxing, surrendering to her, and she just hoped that out of all of her options, this was what he needed. She felt that he needed to feel something, and if their make out sessions to date were any indication, this was the quickest way to remind him of that feeling between them. 

Gwen wasn’t planning on leaving it there, though. Her hands moved up to his button down shirt as she pulled the buttons undone, one by one, her hands delicately stroking his chest to push the fabric off to the side.

“I’m the luckiest girl in the world,” she said, her eyes meeting his with a smile as he leaned forward to kiss him.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked, in between kisses. “I have no idea how I got someone as gorgeous as you to even look at me twice.”

Her hands mischievously snaked down his torso and hooked onto his belt buckle, undoing it. Her hands greedily went to his jeans next, undoing the button and zipper and tugging at them to go down his legs. Gwen moved off of his lap and onto her knees on the ground, pulling his jeans and boxers to his ankles. Her hands moved up, lightly touching his legs before resting on his knees and pulling them apart slightly. She kept a mischievous grin about her features as she moved forward, taking him into her mouth as she stroked the length with her tongue. 

“Gwen…” he breathed, almost inaudible as his head snapped back onto the couch. Her nails scratched at his leg, something else that could have sent him over the edge on its own, as her eyes went up to him.

“Is this okay? Is this what you need?”

“Yes, please, baby…”

“I love when you’re in my mouth,” she said, just before she moved back to tease the tip with her tongue, and he seemed to start getting lost in pleasure again. She dragged her nails lightly along his thighs as she took him in again, sucking him delicately to the point where his thighs were nearly trembling with anticipation. 

“So, that was dramatic. How is everything in — WHOA!” Taylor’s voice suddenly interrupted them as Gwen pulled back and snapped her head at the door, eyes widened in fear. Taylor backed up a little bit and moved Apollo out of the room before he could see anything.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” she apologized. “I didn’t mean to… _whoa_ ” she stopped mid sentence, as her eyes got distracted and seemed to linger on Blake’s dick just a little too long.

“Taylor!” Gwen squealed, pulling herself off the floor and reaching over in a panic, grabbing a pillow from the couch to shield Blake from her.

“SORRY! Oh my god, I’m sorry! Whoa. I mean, I’m sorry!” and with that, she disappeared from the door, shutting it firmly behind her and Apollo. 

Both Gwen and Blake sat for a few moments in stunned, embarrassed silence, not looking at one another. Gwen snapped her head to look up at Blake from the floor, not knowing how to react within that moment as her face just looked panicked, the adrenaline from being caught running through her veins. Blake seemed to have the same stunned, panicked expression written all over his face, and before either of them even know what was happening, both started cracking up in laughter at the same time. 

It felt as if they had laughed for at least ten minutes straight. Every time they would die down, one of them would start up again and trigger the other back into a fit of laughter. Gwen rested her forehead against his knee, trying to avert her attention and get ahold of herself, but it barely worked. It was so good to hear him laugh again, even though her cheeks were red and she was embarrassed as hell in that moment.

“We just got caught by your assistant like a couple of horny teenagers,” she laughed again, Blake joining in on the laughter. He reached forward and took her arms in his hands, pulling her up to sit on his lap. They were both giggling at this point. Gwen shook her head. “Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed!”

“Oh my god, I needed to laugh like that,” Blake said, his dimpled grin making a return appearance. She leaned in and kissed him, smiling brightly.

“There you are. You came back to me.”

He pulled her towards him again, his lips brushing hers in a soft kiss. “I just needed the reminder. Thank you.”

Her eyes went from him to the door, and quickly surveyed the room before looking back to him.

“What?” he asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

Gwen jumped up off of his lap, and moved behind the couch and grabbed a chair that was sitting here. She dragged it across the floor, and propped it into the doorknob so that it couldn’t be opened by anyone that might have a key. She locked the lock, tugging at it to make sure it was secure. She turned on her heel, walking slowly back towards him. She bent forward and kissed him quickly, pulling back so their eyes met.

“Oh, cowboy, I’m not done having my way with you,” she said, smiling seductively as she lowered onto her knees once more.


	19. Karma

Gwen had made sure to drag it out nice and slow for him. Considering everything he had been through that day, she couldn’t think of anything better that she could have done besides showing him extra attention and love that afternoon. She was painfully aware how much he still hurt, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to make it go away completely. She knew his wounds ran deep, perhaps nearly as deep as the ones from her own past relationship cut, but she felt so determined to continue to make sure this amazing man knew his worth each day. He had gotten dangerously close to shutting down on her at one point, and she just felt so grateful she was able to pull him back to reality. Pull him back to focus on her.

She lazily laid against him on the couch, planting random, light kisses on his neck and jawline as she watched him recover from the two orgasms she had managed to give him. His breathing seemed to calm, and no words were needed in those moments. He had that blissful look on his face, his arm lazily draped around Gwen’s waist as he rested. She pushed her lips onto his, which seemed to bring him back to reality.

“Gwen, you’re amazing,” he breathed. “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“Come on,” she said softly, nudging at him a bit in an attempt to push the blush-worthy compliment aside. “We should probably get you dressed and standing, because you need to rehearse. I feel like someone is going to come knocking any moment.” She gave a small smile and kissed him again before standing up. She held out her hands towards him.

“I hate when you do that,” Blake said. Gwen scrunched her face in confusion. “You don’t know how amazing you are. You don’t see it, you just brush it off. I wish you saw it.” He took her hands and stood up in front of her, tugging his boxers and jeans back up his legs and zipping up.

“I wish you saw it, too,” she countered, pushing up on her toes to kiss him. He kissed her back, his arms resting gently around her lower back. Her hands dipped and rested on his back pockets as she sweetly kissed him again before leaning against him. “You good to walk, cowboy?” she asked cheekily, a grin pulling at her features as she looked up at him.

“Mmm…maybe. You might need to hold onto me though, just in case,” he teased.

“Try and stop me.”

After pulling the chair out of the doorknob, the two of them walked back to the stage area together, Gwen’s arms wrapped firmly and possessively wrapped around his waist. One of the stage hands informed them they had just bumped Blake to the last soundcheck spot, and stood on the side of the stage to wait. They came over to a large, black wooden equipment box, as Blake tucked his hands under Gwen’s arms to help pull her up to sit on top of it, Blake jumping up right behind her. Immediately, his arm hooked around her waist and pulled her close again as they waited. Gwen couldn’t seem to keep her hands off of him, either. She was leaned in towards him, occasionally planting little kisses on his face as they giggled and tried to be good. She felt an instant flashback to that night in Oklahoma - when he had blindfolded her in the car, and they kept poking and kissing and teasing one another the entire ride. That was the Blake she was most happy to see. The one that was only for her to see. 

Eventually, they had to tear away from one another. They hopped down and he planted a long, slow kiss on her lips before taking the stage for soundcheck. Gwen stood off to the side as she watched him work, giggling and grinning every time he kept looking off to the side to meet her eyes. 

“Sounds good, Blake, why don’t we try Sangria?” a soundcheck person asked. Blake nodded, and began the guitar intro chords as he started rocking a bit, soon delving into the lyrics.

_You're crashin' into me like waves on the coast  
Every time we talk, you move in close _

Blake turned slightly to watch Gwen on the side of the stage again, and he was shocked at the sight that he saw. She was slowly moving her head along with the music, and she was mouthing every single word along with him.

He almost choked on his surprise, as he continued singing the lyrics and she knew every single one of them. Their eyes were locked in dead heat as he fought to keep his composure together. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of her, and the way they were singing his lyrics together in unison was effecting him more than it should have. When the song ended, his eyes stayed locked on hers as his dimpled grin made another appearance, only snapping away from her finally when someone came up to him and practically had to shake him back to reality.

And that was what it felt like to be eye fucked. 

Blake switched guitars out and started tuning again, as he launched into another song and decided it might be best to force himself to not look at Gwen. The faster he got through this soundcheck, the faster he could be with her again. He was helpless, though, as he stole a few glances of her as he fought his instincts to concentrate on the music.

“Charity case,” she heard someone mumble under their breath from behind her, and her attention snapped back to see that vile blonde ex of his walking by.

Enough was enough.

Gwen took a step forward and grabbed the blonde by the arm - and hard. Hard enough to leave a bruise the next day if she didn’t retract it soon. Miranda yelped a bit in surprise as Gwen pulled the shorter blonde closer to her. She moved right up into her face, and kept her voice low so that others couldn’t hear.

“Listen to me _carefully_ ,” she emphasized, her voice direct and calmly angry. “You’re going to stay away from him. You’re not going to talk to him. And your little games trying to screw up his life are over, or so help me god, I will hurt you within an inch of your life and make it look like an accident. Are we clear?”

Miranda was a bit shocked in that moment as she tried yanking her arm away, but the adrenaline rushing through Gwen’s body kept her grip strong as it tightened. “Let go of me, whore,” she said, her tone matching Gwen’s in that moment.

“Are. We. Clear?” she repeated.

Miranda tried fighting Gwen to get away from her, but the pain from her grip was getting to be too much and she conceded. “ _Yes_ ,” she conceded, between gritted teeth. “Now fucking let go of me.”

Gwen didn’t oblige immediately, as she gave her a look that let her know she would be letting go of her on her schedule, and not Miranda’s. After a few moments she forcefully let her go, pushing her away as Miranda stumbled back. The move was so sudden that Miranda’s heel caught on one of the stage cords and she fell on her ass. A small, satisfied smirk came to her face as she looked away, trying her best not to laugh.

“Karma’s a bitch, huh?”

In that moment, Blake saw movement out of the corner of his eye and his head turned to see a half smirking Gwen and a pissed off and angry Miranda on the floor. His brow wrinkled in confusion as Gwen looked down to Miranda and back to Blake, shrugged her arms in the air as if to indicate she had no idea what had happened. He chuckled a bit and shook his head, making a mental note to figure out what that was all about later. Soon, it stood up from the ground and stalked away, butt hurt (literally) and angry. 

Blake played parts of another song, and he seemed to get the go ahead from the crew that they were good to go. She knew Miranda was standing nearby and her eyes were burning a hole in her back, so the moment Blake walked off stage and towards her she cutely lurched forward at him, her arms going around his neck as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his midsection and kissed him deeply. 

“Whoa!” he exclaimed with a chuckle, catching her and returning the kiss. “Now that’s one hell of a way to get greeted coming off the stage!” His dimpled grin was sparkling for all around to see as he held her on him, and she couldn’t help but kiss him again. 

“Mmm…I can think of a few other ways to greet you when coming off the stage,” she said seductively, which made Blake have to force his gaze to the ceiling for a moment to maintain his composure.

“Literally, Gwen, if you do that to me again I’m not going to be able to walk on stage tonight,” he responded.

Was their sudden display of affection a little over the top? Perhaps. But she knew that it was working wonders to throw it in Miranda’s face, as Gwen was absolutely certain she was still watching them, and probably seething. 

“What exactly did you do to Miranda…? he asked seriously, his tone a little accusatory but thoroughly entertained.

“Nothing at all, babe. She’s really clumsy, it seems. Doesn’t seem to know how to walk properly in heels.”

Blake chuckled, fully knowing that wasn’t the full truth as he kissed her again, helping her stand once more on the ground. 

“You were singing one of my songs with me,” he mentioned, shyly. She bit her lip and looked away from him, feeling her cheeks get red over him calling her out on it. “Have you been listening to my songs?”

“Oh, umm…” she said, looking up to him and shrugging a little bit. “I’ve started listening to them, yeah. Is that weird?” She scrunched her nose at her question.

“It’s adorable,” he corrected, kissing her on top of her head. “I was so shocked, I had no idea.”

“That was the first song you sang to me,” she confessed. “In Atlanta. I mean, you were singing it for the crowd but you looked at me the entire time you were singing it. It felt like it was for me. I know that sounds stupid.”

“I can’t believe you remember that,” he said, dumbfounded, as he shook his head. “I didn’t know who you were, and I can’t explain what I felt but…yeah, Gwen, I was singing that to you. It might have started off as just another song on the setlist, but it became yours in that moment.” Her arms came around his midsection as she was suddenly finding it hard to breathe and contain herself. 

——  
The next few hours were considerably less dramatic. Blake and Gwen spent the time together, and Taylor eventually caught up to Gwen with Apollo, the toddler more than happy to join both of them in the dressing room. The little one had found the chocolate someone had left for Blake, and Gwen was closely monitoring him with it as she let him have a little. Of course, he got it all over his face and hands as it melted and he was eating it too slow. He held one melted piece of chocolate up to Blake in offering, to which he chuckled and carefully took from him.

“Thanks, buddy,” he said with a grin. Blake was always such a good sport. 

“Maybe sugar wasn’t the best idea,” Gwen conceded. She laughed a bit as she started after him with paper towels to clean him up. “I just can’t say no to him sometimes.”

“I know how that feels,” he commented, their eyes briefly meeting for a moment. 

Someone was sent back to let Blake know he was going on stage in 30 minutes. The tall cowboy crouched down and swooped up little Apollo in his arms and the three of them made their way towards the side stage. Soon, Blake was kissing her to leave and play his show, as Taylor came to join Gwen and Apollo for the best seats in the house.

Blake played his first few songs to an overly enthusiastic crowd, and it warmed her heart to see him getting so much love and attention. It made her so happy to see that his talent - something that made him so happy - was not only making others happy, but that he was getting that love and validation back from the fans that she knew he needed, but he would never admit to. Watching him - _really_ watching him work and connect with that crowd was doing things to her. He was like a king, and everyone else just his subjects.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by Apollo ripping his headphones off and throwing them angrily at the ground. “Apollo, come here, baby…” she said, reaching out for him and pulling him onto her lap. She recognized that face and attitude - he was about to have a tantrum. She picked up the headphones from the ground and tried putting them back over his ears, but he wasn’t having any of it as he hit them away. “No!” His eyes welled up in huge crocodile tears as he dramatically laid himself on the ground.

“Pollo, come on, honey,” Gwen soothed, trying to pick him up off the ground but he wasn’t having that, either. His arms and legs flailed as he pouted, obviously sleepy and frustrated. Gwen sighed.

“This isn’t going to end well,” she said to Taylor, as her eyes went out to look at her cowboy again. He was having the time of his life, and she wanted so badly to stay and see that. “I need to take him back to the hotel and put him down. He’s going to be a terror otherwise…he’s not having it tonight. Can you…please tell Blake that I’m so sorry I couldn’t stay.” Her face fell. “And please tell him we are okay, that Apollo was just really tired and to stay out as late as he wants. Because I know he won’t.”

“I promise. I’ll let him know when he comes off for a quick break in a few songs.”

“Taylor, make sure he knows we are fine. I don’t want him running back to us afterwards if he has things he needs to do.”

“I promise. I’ll do my best,” she offered, reassuringly. 

“Thank you, Taylor, you’re pretty rad, you know.” And with that, Gwen stood up, and wrangled with Apollo until she could get him in her arms in order to exit the venue, the driver taking them back to the hotel.

——  
It hadn’t taken Gwen long to put Apollo down. The little guy was so tired and exhausted that it only took her holding him and rubbing his back before he eventually settled and drifted off to sleep. She covered him up and placed pillows around him, closing the door and making her way into the master bedroom. 

Her body ached from fatigue as she pulled on a pair of tight yoga capri pants and an oversized tank top. She put her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head and she pulled her glasses and sketchpad out of her bag, tossing it into the bed before climbing onto it. She felt so exhausted, and quite frankly drained just from everything happening lately as she slowly sank into the mattress. It didn’t take long for the pencil to fall out of her hand and her head to lean slightly into the pillows as she fell asleep. 

The next thing she knew, she felt a hand gently caressing her arm and movement on her face. She began to stir, opening her eyes tiredly and realizing Blake was sitting next to her, gently pulling her glasses off of her face to set aside on the nightstand. She closed her eyes again and smiled a little, as she felt him kiss her neck which sent a shiver down her spine. 

“Mmmm…Blakey,” she said quietly, as her hand held his arm around her and even pulled him closer. “That’s the best way to wake up.” She paused, seeming to realize her surroundings. “Wait. What time is it?”

He kissed her again as he pulled her closer, spooning her from behind. “It’s about midnight, I think. You were sleeping when I got back.”

“That’s so early, why didn’t you stay? Surely there was some after party…? I told Taylor...”

“Gwen, don’t you realize I would much rather be here with you?”

“I can’t argue with you when you hold me like this,” Gwen said, moving back into him just a bit more. Blake let out a low chuckle, planting a few more kisses on her cheek. “You were amazing tonight, baby. You had that crowd eating out of the palm of your hand…they loved you so much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t stay…”

“Shhh…” he said into her ear. “You had to take care of the little guy…and probably on some level, yourself. I know how exhausted you’ve been lately and sometimes I worry about you.”

“I’m fine,” she protested.

“You’re _strong_ ,” he corrected. “There’s a difference. But I see you sacrifice yourself time and time again, and that’s why I worry. You can’t convince me to not worry, but just know that when I’m around I’m going to make sure you’re taken care of, too. Okay?”

“Okay,” she conceded easily, her voice just above a whisper. 

“Thanks for shutting Miranda up earlier,” he said finally, which caused her to giggle and look back at him with sleepy eyes.

“Oh, cowboy, that was so much fun,” she grinned, and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. “And she needed to be shut up. It’s been a hell of a day, hmm?”

“I’m looking forward to a less eventful day tomorrow, for sure,” he said. “I don’t have to be at the venue until 5 or 6…we have most of the day to do whatever you want, even if you just want to stay in bed.” He kissed her nose and she smiled, turning her cheek back onto the mattress. She let out a yawn.

“Go to sleep,” she encouraged her, kissing her cheek one last time before pulling her back up against him.

“Mmhmm…” she responded, and it wasn’t even a minute later that she was dead to the world, sleeping in his arms once more.


	20. Flash

It was around nine in the morning when she jolted awake. Her eyes took a moment to adjust as she looked around the room, momentarily forgetting where she was. She was alone, but she could still swear she felt his arms around her. That was probably the only reason why she had gotten so much sleep to begin with; it only really happened when he was there, being that calming, rock steady person in her life. 

Her brow wrinkled in confusion as she looked around, her mind beginning to wonder where Blake and Apollo were. Somewhere in the middle of the night, the toddler had come running in the bedroom to find Gwen and Blake lifted him into the bed with them before quickly falling back asleep. Gwen had readjusted them where she was still cuddled up against Blake, with Apollo curled up against her. It was the most peaceful she had felt in a long time, being sandwiched between the two of them as she had drifted back asleep. But now, she wasn’t sure where they had gone.

She heard a few strums of Blake’s guitar coming from the living room, followed by baby giggles. She couldn’t help but smile just a little as she pushed the covers off of her body, and she made her way out towards them.

“Mornin’, beautiful,” Blake greeted when he saw her coming to join them, his dimples making an appearance. She walked up next to him and stood for a moment as his arm went around her, gently tugging her to sit with him. Gwen let out a yawn right before placing a hand on his shoulder, moving up to kiss his lips before leaning against him. She smiled over at Apollo who was on the ground, fascinated with Blake’s guitar as he pulled the strings to make noise, which she only assumed Blake had taught him.

“Hi, cowboy,” she said tiredly, clinging onto him a little bit.

“You are literally so evil for wearing these tight pants… _Jesus_ , Gwen…” he said in a whisper against her ear, which caused her to chuckle and smirk a little.

“It’s just spandex, Blake,” she countered. 

“I don’t care what it is,” he said, his hand moving down to gently caress her thigh. “You’re making it hard to breathe, darlin’.”

“Well then just look at my no-makeup morning face, and that should bring you back down to reality,” she said, raising an eyebrow with a challenging smirk playing on her features. 

“Shut up. You’re beautiful. Especially when you don’t wear that goop. I mean…I like the goop, too, but without it is better.”

Gwen started laughing a little and shaking her head, her eyes going down to Apollo as he still seemed thoroughly entertained. “What have you boys been up to out here?”

“Well, Apollo woke up a few hours ago so we came out here to eat cheerios and play with the guitar. I forgot how good those cheerios were, though, so you might need to buy another box…” he grinned a bit sheepishly, which made Gwen laugh again.

“Taaaaar!” Apollo said as he grinned, pointing down to it. 

“Did Blake teach you how to play?” she asked, reaching down to ruffle his crazy curls a bit. Apollo nodded excitedly as he reached forward, carefully pulling at the strings like Blake had taught him, seemingly mesmerized with the music he was making. 

“Dada,” Apollo said suddenly, as he tugged on the hem of Blake’s jeans and looked up at him. Gwen’s body stiffened and froze, while Blake’s head snapped over to Gwen, searching for some kind of help. 

“DADA,” Apollo said again, more insistently, as he realized he was being ignored and tugged on Blake’s jeans again. Blake looked from a frozen Gwen down to a confused toddler, and moved down to scoop Apollo up and sit him in his lap, before turning his gaze back to Gwen. 

“I…uh…I didn’t teach him _that_ ,” Blake said, honestly having no idea _what_ to say in that moment. “I’m sorry. I, uh…Gwen?”

She took a deep breath as she looked down, her hand coming to rest on his leg. “Blake, you don’t need to apologize…it’s natural.” Her eyes met his again and in that moment, he saw that her demeanor seemed to switch to getting emotional. He had no idea if he was the one she was upset with or if it was something else, but he kept quiet and simply rested his hand over hers as he gave her time to formulate her thoughts.

“I’m sorry,” she said, smiling through her teary eyes as she looked up at him. “It’s just….wow, Blake. You are so good with him, and this is probably the first time that he’s ever felt what it’s like to have a dad at all. I’m not saying you’re his dad, but you really take an interest in him and he’s just never had that before. His actual dad would much rather stay out late drinking with his friends than come home and read a bedtime story. Let’s just say I was a single mother a lot longer than before we actually broke up and finalized the divorce.” She breathed, her hand tightening on his leg. She paused. “Are you…ok? Did that freak you out?”

“No, it didn’t freak me out,” Blake said almost immediately, moving his arm up behind her back to pull her closer in to him and Apollo. He let out a breath, and looked down at the toddler before looking back to Gwen. “I mean, I know I’m not his dad…but my first feeling when I heard him say that was…wow. I feel really honored that he thinks of me like that.”

“You really have no idea what an amazing man you are,” Gwen said, her lips lightly brushing his before she leaned back against him. “You don’t leave when things are difficult, or when I’m upset. You’re honest, and caring. I’m still surprised you wanted to come back here last night to be with us instead of going out with your friends. Apollo has already latched onto you and instead of it scaring you, you embrace it. I’m just in constant awe of you, Blake. Every single day.”

“Well, now you know how I feel,” Blake said with a small smile, his hand tugging her hip towards him as she embraced him again. “I could talk about how amazing you are for hours, Gwen.”

“Oh, please don’t. My emotions might be uncontrollable at that point.”

Blake let out a low chuckle, the vibrations of which felt so good against her cheek. “I know that about you. I do.”

He sat there for a few moments in silence, just holding them. Apollo made a face at Gwen and she giggled, making a face right back to her baby. He reached out and put his little hand over her mouth, and she kissed it and pretended to nibble at it which caused him to pull away and start laughing again. It was the little things like this that she was so incredibly thankful for.

“I wanted to talk to you about something, actually…”

Gwen picked up on his nervous tone and immediately pulled back a little to look up at him. Their eyes met, which seemed to calm him a bit, but the fact that he seemed to be wavering over something was giving her anxiety. 

“Blake, you can talk to me,” she reminded gently. She reached up and planted a kiss on his cheek. “It’s just me. There’s no reason to be nervous.”

“What would you think about my manager releasing a statement to the press about our relationship?” he all but blurted out, the fear in not doing so was that he would chicken out and bury the subject. 

Gwen must have looked a little stunned as she remained silent, which was off-putting to Blake and he very soon began backtracking. “You don’t think it’s a good idea…you don’t want to…that’s okay, that’s totally fine, I just wanted to…”

“Blake, slow down,” she said gently, pressing her lips into his to shut him up. He embraced it fully; his arm tugging at her to be closer, his breath inhaling as he recognized the vanilla fragrance she always had on that seemed to calm him instantly because he just knew it immediately as _her_. Gwen pulled back a little bit and gave a small smile.

“Do you think it’s a good idea? I mean, what would it say?” she asked genuinely. She seemed to be interested, which soothed any lingering insecurities Blake created for himself in the past few moments. He was definitely better when he saw her smile again. 

“It can say whatever we want it to say,” Blake explained. “We can say something general - like a response to the news story you saw the other day that would help this blow over and prevent anything else from popping up. Like…we’re two friends that recently started dating. We can say we met on my tour, or just leave that part out. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with. The only thing is it would put your name in the papers, though they would figure things out eventually….and this way we would be in control of it.” He paused, before continuing. “I’ve just been thinking about the best way we can handle this together, and this is what I came up with. I don’t want anyone to hurt you, Gwen.”

Gwen contemplated it for a few moments. Her first instinct was that it was too soon, despite how she felt about him. The counter argument to that, though, was the fact that the press had already gotten a hold of something tangible which really put them in the current situation. She wasn’t an expert on these matters, though, and she felt like it had a better chance at doing good versus harm. But then again, she didn’t really know. 

“But are you sure you want to put that out there for them about yourself?” she questioned. “I mean, publicly dating someone has to be so hard on you. That’s a lot to shoulder, Blake.”

“I only care about what’s best for you,” he said, his arms moving around her body to gently rub her back. “You and Apollo, of course.”

“And I know that we love you. We’re not planning on going anywhere anytime soon. And I want you to do what you think is best, okay? I trust you.” Blake beamed at the comment, placing a kiss on her forehead. Gwen looked over to Apollo as he watched him kiss her. Apollo kissed the inside of his hand and placed his hand on Blake’s cheek, ‘planting’ his own kiss on the tall cowboy. Both Blake and Gwen giggled at him, which caused him to throw his head back and start laughing himself. Gwen reached over to him and put her arm around Apollo, gently stroking his back as he laid against Blake. She felt Blake lean back against the couch, holding both of them in his arms. It felt like heaven.

“Do you think that Starbucks downstairs would deliver to this couch?” Gwen asked seriously, her eyes peering up at Blake. “Because I so don’t want to move.” 

Blake chuckled a little bit. “Why don’t we go down to get your coffee and we can come right back?”

Gwen pouted. “Ten more minutes, then maybe,” she said cutely, snuggling up to him again.

——

The morning was slow, which is something they both seemed to appreciate. Gwen finally tore herself away long enough to venture to get a much needed macchiato, and they made plans to pick a few things up at the store and head downtown for some festival the front desk had told them about that would have a lot for Apollo to do. It felt like such a normal day, up until the point where she knew her boyfriend had to go to the venue and play for a crowd of thousands of people that evening. 

Blake called for one of the trucks to be brought around from valet as he pulled up a nearby Target for their errands. The three of them made their way downstairs into the lobby and towards the front door, Apollo is Gwen’s arms. The moment they stepped outside of their hotel, Gwen felt Blake’s arm protectively come across her as he moved her behind him, a quick reflex once he realized there were dozens of cameras waiting for them as they began going off. Gwen stayed behind him and her free hand clutched the fabric of his shirt as she shyly waited for his instruction.

They were shouting things at him. Everyone wanted to know who Gwen was, and they were making spectacles of it. Was she a hooker? Was she his secret baby mama and Apollo their love child? Gwen was thankful that she had put sunglasses over her eyes to hide her panicked expression - never had she felt this kind of attention on her before. She rubbed her nails gently against his back, silently giving him her approval to handle the situation.

“Please, give us some room,” Blake spoke to the reporters firmly, and some of them seemed to back off a little bit. In that moment, he saw the valet bring the truck around, and once it parked a few feet away from them he pulled Gwen around in front of him, protectively shielding her to the backseat of the truck to get Apollo settled in. The reporters kept pushing. Gwen felt the lights of the camera at her back as she buckled Apollo in, she reached forward and placed a kiss on his head before moving out and closing the door behind him. She reached for Blake, and he could feel how shaken she was and that she just wanted to get out of there. Blake reached for the front door of the truck, and helped her climb inside.

“Blake, come on, man…who is she?”

“She’s my girlfriend, and I need you guys to back down right now.”

And with that, he closed her door and moved in front of the truck, climbing into the driver’s seat with the shouts and calls from them in the background. Gwen’s hand immediately reached for Blake’s and she squeezed it tightly just as he switched into drive and took off from the hotel.

The first few moments on the road were deadly silent. Blake felt guilt, mostly, over what had just happened and Gwen still seemed to be processing. Apollo was in the back, seemingly unfazed by it all as his gaze was occupied outside his window. Finally, she was the first to speak.

“You told them I was your girlfriend,” she said, her eyes a little wide as they came over to him. Her tone wasn’t accusatory; it was soft. Touched. 

“Yeah…I’m sorry, it just kind of came out…”

She brought their laced hands up to her lips, kissing his. “Don’t be. I’m honored.”

“Are you okay, baby?”

Gwen nodded. “How often does that happen?”

“It just depends. Less so when I’m out of town, but with everything they’re reporting on lately, I should have warned you that it could happen here.”

“It was just overwhelming the first time. I’m sorry if I shut down. I didn’t know what to do...”

“You’ll always have me there if and when something like that happens again, okay? You don’t need to put on a brave face and I’m going to make sure nothing happens to you.”

He parked the truck a few moments later in the parking lot, and she tugged at him before he even pulled the keys from the ignition. She reached over the center console as her hand went behind his head, pulling him towards her as she kissed him deeply.

“That was pretty hot, you know,” she said once she pulled back a bit, a small grin on her face. “You being all protective. That does things to a girl, Blake.”

He chuckled a little bit, feeling the tension ease as the mood lightened. It was his turn to take her hand back in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss the top. “That was my plan all along,” he said with a grin.

Gwen looked around the parking lot, which was seemingly clear of any reporters, something she was thankful for. “Come on. Looks like we’re good here,” she said, before jumping out of the truck, collecting Apollo from the back, and heading into the store. She placed Apollo in one of the red shopping carts and Blake took over, pushing him down the various isles. Gwen went immediately to the cereal isle, and the first thing in the cart was a giant box of cheerios - mostly for Apollo, but apparently now also for Blake. 

——  
They finished up at Target, mostly getting various snacks and things for Apollo before heading out to spend the day downtown. When they arrived, there were dozens of booths set up along the road, from people selling crafts to offering pony rides for kids. It was a large crowd, something Gwen felt thankful for as she thought it would be easier to just enjoy the day together now that she knew there were paparazzi on the hunt. They felt like such a normal couple, though - walking hand and hand along the sidewalk, the little one in tow, just enjoying the day and one another’s company. 

After Apollo began to ride the miniature horses for the fifth time, Blake checked his phone and was surprised to see the time. He slid his phone back in his pocket, and looked down to Gwen who was leaning against the railing and watching Apollo on the horse. His arms came around her then, caging her in between. “Gwen, it’s already four o’clock,” he nudged her a little.

“Oh wow, I can’t believe that! Where did this day even go?”

“Hey. I want to ask you something…how would you feel about Taylor babysitting Apollo tonight so we can spend some time together after the show, you know, without the possibility of getting caught by the little guy?”

Gwen smiled up at him a little bit and her gaze went back to Apollo. She didn’t make a habit of just leaving him with anyone, but Taylor was definitely someone she came to trust. “He really seems to like Taylor,” she said. “But have you asked her? I know she’s your assistant, but I don’t want you to start giving her babysitting duties that she didn’t sign up for.”

“She jumped at the chance. Plus, I told her I would pay her double her salary tonight, even though I swear she would have done it happily without that.”

“What did you have in mind, cowboy?” she asked cheekily, as his arms tightened a bit around her.

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out.” He shot his dimpled grin at her before pulling his gaze away to look back to Apollo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! I can't believe this is Chapter 20 already! Thank you guys so much for your support.
> 
> Please let me know in the comments if you're still enjoying this story or if you have any suggestions/things you want to see :)


	21. Candlelight

“It’s a surprise,” Blake said, probably for the tenth time that evening.

“Come on, not even just a little hint?”

Gwen’s chin rested on Blake’s shoulder as she looked up at him with puppy dog eyes, which caused him to chuckle and shake his head to look away. He knew he would be a goner if he let her latch onto him like that for too long.

“Have I let you down yet?” he asked, turning his attention down to her as his arm went around her waist, pulling her in closer to him. She seized the opportunity and moved up slightly, planting a kiss on his lips.

“No, you haven’t.”

“Then you should trust me when I say I’ve got tonight under control and all planned out,” he said, after returning her kiss. 

“But you’re making me sit here and watch you sing an entire concert and that’s a _really_ long time to be kept in the dark,” she pouted, her bottom lip protruding up at him. He leaned forward and nipped her bottom lip with his teeth, before letting out a low laugh and kissing her properly. 

“I love when you’re impatient. It’s really cute.”

She huffed. And that only caused Blake to laugh a little more.

“Are you sure Taylor is okay with taking Apollo for the entire night?”

“Yes, my doubly paid assistant is thrilled to babysit. And she’s really good with kids, I’ve invited her along to a few family gatherings and she always seems to find kids to entertain that fall in love with her.”

“You bring your assistant to family gatherings?” Gwen sounded surprised. 

“Yeah, I mean…Taylor works for me, sure, but she’s kind of like honorary family in a way. I’m not totally sure what her family life looks like, but I don’t think she has much of one. So, she comes along with mine a lot.”

“Blake…” her gaze went up to him. “I think that’s the sweetest thing ever. You’re so thoughtful. And you have so much love to give.”

“It’s no big deal, really, we have plenty of room. And she gets along great with the family in Oklahoma…she’s a country girl that can raise hell on a four wheeler so she fits right in.”

“Your family would probably have no idea what to do with me,” she responded a bit hesitantly, the realization of how different they both really were just kind of hitting her for the first time. 

“They played nice with Miranda for years. Gwen, they would absolutely adore you.” He pecked her cheek with a kiss and she smiled at him.

“Ten minutes, Blake,” one of his crew said in passing.

“Go be a king. Love you.” She pressed onto her tippy toes and kissed him before letting him to go finish getting ready to take the stage.

——

It was different that night watching him on stage by herself. Taylor was back with Apollo at her hotel room, and Gwen would check her phone every now and then to see if she had any calls or texts, but none so far. She couldn’t help but worry, even though she knew he was in great hands. 

If it was even possible, this crowd was even more animated tonight and Blake was on fire. She laughed as he brought someone up on stage to sign a tattoo of himself, and how there was a little girl, maybe five or six, in the front row that he brought up on stage during one of his songs for her to sing along with him. The crowd went wild in demand of an encore, which of course Blake was more than happy to play. He was really the type to never say no, especially to his fans, and she knew if he didn’t know she was waiting for him he might have stayed out there all night with them. Even though she loved watching him in his element, she couldn’t help but feel a pang of excitement as he took his final bow and came off to the side stage to be with her immediately following.

“You’re turning me into a fangirl, cowboy,” she said with a giggle right before he kissed her, his arm at her back and pulling her into him. 

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said suddenly, causing her to smile and letting him pull her along. He had the escalade waiting in the back for their quick escape, and a few minutes later they arrived back at the hotel. Before exiting the vehicle, he turned to look at her and took her hands into his.

“I know everything is a little crazy right now,” he began. “So I hope this is okay, but I just wanted to do something simple.”

“That sounds so perfect,” she said, squeezing his hands. “It’s not about fancy dinners or elaborate plans, Blake. I just love spending time with you.”

“I know it’s not. And sometimes I have to remind myself that because a lot of people that I’ve been with before had these huge expectations of me and I’ve never been able to fulfill them.” He let out a breath, and looked at her again. 

“I never want you to think that you’re not enough. I’m in love with _you_ , your personality and your company. Who you are as a person. Not the things you can buy me.” She hugged him tightly then, to which he returned and seemed to relax. It was amazing how much this woman was able to ease his insecurities. He reached down and took her hand as they climbed out of the car and walked inside, heading towards their suite. 

Blake slipped the key card into Gwen’s palm for her to open the door. He stood behind her, gently holding onto her waist as she swiped the card and pushed the door open. Their suite definitely didn’t look like it did when they had left earlier that day; instead of Apollo’s toys strewn about, various Target bags all over the place, and a few other things out of place everything was completely clean. The lights were out, and Gwen’s eyes rested on the dozens of candles that illuminated the room. Wine and clean plates were set up at the table in front of the large, comfortable couch and there was a light instrumental soundtrack playing in the background. Gwen let out a breath and turned to smile up at him.

“You’re magical,” was all she could say, shaking her head. The room smelled of a comforting amber scent, which she could only assume was from the candles. She smiled and took his hand as she pulled them inside, her eyes fully adjusting to the dim room. “This…this is so magical.”

His arms came around her then, and she turned in them to face him, a huge smile on her face. “This is so, _so_ perfect, Blake.” She pressed up to kiss him. “I’m speechless.”

“Good, that means if you don’t have anything to say we can just kiss a little more…” he said in a low voice, letting out a chuckle as she laughed and he kissed her again. 

He pulled her along over to the couch and sat down with her, pouring them both a glass of red wine. It immediately went to her lips, the smooth bodied red tasting so perfect on her lips. 

“I also have a vegetarian version of my famous lasagna prepared, too. It should be in the warmer.” He stood up to move to the full kitchen near them, opening the warmer and pulling out a small pan of lasagna, as promised. She smiled at him as she drank her wine, and he began adding the finishing touches on the dish before cutting two pieces and bringing them over, setting them on the table next to them. Blake noticed Gwen had finished her first glass, and picked up the bottle to pour her another one. She moved across the couch and into his lap, sipping at her drink as she relaxed in his arms.

“This is amazing. Just us,” she said. “And you are filling me with wine and stuffing me with homemade recipes.”

“Speaking of…” he said, leaning forward to grab one of the plates with lasagna. “You’ve lived on coffee alone today. You should eat some of this before you put too much wine on an empty stomach.” He cut a bite with the fork, and offered it to her. 

“Oh my god,” she said, as she put her wine glass down on the table and reached to take the plate and fork from him. She cut herself another bite and ate it immediately, suddenly realizing how hungry she actually was. Her eyes went to Blake, hearing him chuckle a little at her. “This tastes amazing,” she said, cutting another bite and offering it to him. 

“I’m glad,” he beamed, reaching forward for his own plate and eating along side her. 

“You played an entire show tonight and still managed to plan and execute all of this…” Gwen said. “And, don’t forget, you spent the entire day chasing a toddler around a street fair. I don’t know how you do it.”

She finished her lasagna and set it down on the table, immediately going back for her wine. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” he countered, eating another bite of lasagna. “You’re a single mother with a very demanding job, and you don’t falter with him once.”

“You just haven’t seen me falter yet,” she corrected. “I feel like I’m faltering his entire life right now.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know. I feel like maybe I was too selfish to pack our bags and move us to Atlanta when I got the job promotion. California was getting to me, I needed to get away from my ex, but he has grandparents out there. It’s complicated.”

“You moved to better yourself _for_ him. You can’t beat up on yourself because someone else drove you away.”

“I did. I did do that.” She shrugged. “I know I’m an okay mom, I just wish all of the time that I could be more for him.”

Blake finished his plate and set it down, and he reached forward for his glass of wine and to tug Gwen back into his lap. 

“You’re so much more than you realize, Gwen."

She drank again, getting dangerously close to the bottom of her second glass. 

“I need to catch up,” Blake commented with a grin, chugging the rest of his first glass back and reaching forward to pour himself a second one. Gwen scrunched her face and her free hand went to her right shoulder, rubbing it a bit. Blake took notice.

“Did you hurt your shoulder?” he asked.

“Mmm…it just gets like this sometimes when I’ve been carrying Apollo a lot.”

“Come here,” he said, tapping at her waist to shift her slightly in his lap. He set his glass down as she moved her hand off of her shoulder, letting him gently massage her.

“Aggghhh…it really hurts right there…”

“Right here?” he pressed just below her shoulder blade and she grimaced again, nodding. He continued pushing his fingers into her shoulder. “It’s a knot, I feel it. I’m going to work it out, ok? Just tell me if it hurts too much.”

“Okay,” she said softly. Her face and body tensed as he continued to massage her shoulder. He snuck a kiss onto her cheek as he kept working his fingers, and the moment the knot was released her shoulders melted and instantly relaxed. 

“There’s nothing you can’t do, cowboy, is there?” She took the final swig of her wine and set the glass down, crawling up further on his lap and sitting on top of him, her legs straddling him. Her arms slid around him as she kissed him deeply. He held his glass out and away from them in the embrace, and when he had a free moment he bent forward and set his glass down, too, before his hands claimed her waist once again. She kissed him deeply when he returned, before pulling back a little to look him in the eyes.

“I have something for you. It’s in my handbag,” she said, her eyes looking down to her forgotten purse next to the couch. He reached past her, his eyebrow raised, as he pulled her purse closer to them, giving her a questioning look before reaching inside. He pulled out a small, black bag - one that looked strangely familiar. One that looked identical to the one they had picked up together.

“Gwen…”

“I’m ready to open the bag,” she said, letting out a breath and giving him a small smile as he moved the tissue paper inside to reveal the cuffs they had bought together. Underneath them were the ankle restraints she had grabbed, and a piece of fabric that looked like a blindfold. “I, uh, I already checked the bed in our room and it has everything we need to make them work…”

“Are you…are you sure?”

“Blake, I trust you with my body. And I’ve kind of been having fantasies about you cuffing me up ever since we bought them, so…” Her cheeks turned a little red at her admission, and he smiled and kissed her. “So, it’s time. As long as you still want to…I’m really excited to try this with you.”

Blake moved her slightly and stood up with her, as they walked hand in hand into the bedroom. Gwen’s eyes widened as she realized the candlelit theme extended into the bedroom, too. He set the bag down on the bed and pulled her to him, her arms going around him as they passionately kissed one another. His hands moved up and under her shirt, pulling it over her head as she let out a breath, just before kissing him again. His shirt was up and off over his head in the next moment. He took her by the waist and turned her, pushing her back against the mattress as he came over top of her. His hands moved down and undid the buttons on her pants, and he tugged them down her legs, leaving her in her bra and underwear. He reached beside him and into the bag, digging around for the blindfold but his hand clutched something else - something he hadn’t realized was there before.

His head looked down into the bag as he pushed more tissue paper aside, and saw that she had secretly sneaked a vibrator into the shopping cart with the rest of their things.

“What’s this?” he asked, pulling it out of the bag and giving her an amused expression.

She bit her lip, a little embarrassed. “I mean...just in case we wanted it,” she shrugged a little, kind of at a loss for words. He grinned a bit, still amused as he moved forward and kissed her again, before laying the blindfold he finally found gently against her eyes. She bent up, allowing him to tie it in the back.

His hands lightly teased down her legs, the sensation of which was maddening now that she couldn’t see anything. Her breathing quickened as she couldn’t anticipate him, which was making her crazy. She finally felt him tug at her underwear to pull it off of her, and each hand took one ankle as he secured her legs in place. He left just enough room so that she could still move around somewhat, but it would be impossible for her to build pressure to satisfy herself if she tried. His hands moved up her body, sending a shiver down her spine as he ducked his hand behind her, freeing her bra just before lightly moving her arms up over her head to cuff her wrists to the top of the bed. He hadn’t even done anything to her yet, but her body was writhing and begging for his touch. 

“The ankle cuffs were definitely a good idea…you’re already losing it,” he said smugly, as he lightly dragged his fingers along her naked skin. Her body moved with his touch, unable to stay still as she bit her lip after letting out a small moan. 

“ _Blake_ ” she said insistently, as she felt him shift away from her. She frowned a bit as she felt him move off the bed, taking his jeans and boxers down before slowly climbing back onto the bed with her. His arm teased and snaked across her stomach and she arched towards him, eventually resting his hand on the small of her back. One of her legs was trying to pull him in closer to her, but she had no advantage available being tied down as she was. She groaned a bit as she kept arching towards him, trying to find him and trying to get him closer to her body.

Without warning, Blake dipped his head to her chest and took one of her breasts into his mouth, his tongue swirling around her erect nipple before tugging at it gently with his teeth. She gasped and moaned as his free hand lightly slid down her body, coming in between her legs.

“You’re soaked already, darlin’,” he said lowly against her skin, which made her want to jump out of it even more.

“Then fuck me already, _baby_ ,” she said a bit annoyed, as she was trying to match his cocky attitude but it just came out desperate instead. Her body jolted when the unexpected happened next - he had moved the vibrator in between her legs with his hand and he was slowly teasing her clit. 

Her breathing was hard and uneven as he kept jolting her with the vibrator, his mouth going back to one of her nipples as he sucked. Her body was fighting against the restraints so hard, she was even managing to get him to come down on her a bit more has her hips bucked towards him.

“Blake I’m about to come if you keep doing that,” she said breathlessly. “I need you inside of me.”

He slowed the vibrations down to a torturous roar as he eased her off of the toy, which only made her more frustrated in that moment. She was groaning and writhing, searching desperately for his touch. She was fighting the handcuffs holding her arms in place over her head as she pushed her head up, almost as if she thought she could get rid of the blindfold, but she couldn’t. She almost jumped when she felt his hands on her thighs to widen her legs, pushing inside of her gently. Gwen gasped as she begged for more, Blake finally conceding and picking up the pace with his thrusts into her. Just as he felt her hovering on the edge, he bent forward and kissed her just as she let herself fall apart underneath him. 

Blake slowly pulled out and laid next to Gwen, his hand teasingly running over her most sensitive areas that were still heightened from her orgasm. She bucked and arched as he kept touching her, fighting against the restraints as it surprised her each time without being able to see. He leaned forward and kissed her neck, gently undoing the blindfold.

“Open your eyes,” he whispered, and she obliged. Immediately his mouth covered hers and they kissed, right before Blake reached down to free her from the ankle restraints. He kissed her again before reaching up to free her wrists from the handcuffs, and her arms came down immediately around his neck and she lurched forward, finally able to kiss him herself. The typical, blissed out expression on her face that he had come to know and love seemed to be on steroids that evening, and he could hardly contain himself. She turned and moved herself back up against him, making herself his little spoon again. Her neck tilted back to look at him as his hands ran over her body, helping somewhat to calm her down but also still keeping her senses heightened.

“Go in from behind,” she whispered up to him as their eyes locked, and she couldn’t help but bite her lip.

“What?” he said, a bit surprised, as he placed a kiss on her shoulder. Her cheeks were a little red but she nodded.

“I liked it.”

Blake let out a low chuckle. “I’ve created a monster.”

“Not a monster. Just someone who likes the things you do to me first.”

Blake smiled and kissed her shoulder again as his hands came to rest on her hip. “Roll onto your stomach,” he instructed, gently pushing her hip to do so. She rolled over as he told her to, a smile coming across her lips as Blake moved behind her, pulling her hips up towards him and holding her torso against his in an upright position. Her head went back to his shoulder as he kissed her neck, her breathing quickening again. His free arm reached down and moved her legs open more as he found her opening again, slowly pushing inside as he brought her further back into him.

She moaned at the hard contact again with her center so soon as she moved forward on the bed to catch herself with her hands to hold her up. Her body was arched back perfectly which resulted in such a hot view for him, he almost forgot what he was doing. She could have screamed when he suddenly hit her spot again, hands clenching hard into a fistful of the comforter as it had barely recovered from the last time. His hands grabbed her hips and he began to ride her from behind, her thighs shaking and trembling as she fought to hold herself up as he got close. He was soon falling apart on top of her, she could feel it, and once she was certain he had found his release she practically collapsed to the side, her legs unable to hold her up any longer. She fell right into his arms, but it didn’t take her long to look over at him with a grin.

“Ready for round two?”

——  
She was surprised when she woke up decently early the next morning. 

Gwen didn’t dare to fall asleep until four or five that morning, so being awake before nine felt like a miracle. They had exhausted one another, time and time again, eventually falling into an embrace and staying up longer just to talk. She could talk to him about anything. The sex was amazing, but there was something about being able to lay in bed naked with someone, stealing little touches and kisses here and there as they both seemed to fall into a delirious, tired state. They were both so dead set on staying awake as long as possible with one another, though, knowing that Gwen was leaving again today. 

“Cowbooooy,” she said, a bit groggily as she rolled over onto him. He opened his eyes at her as he had just been dozing. “I need coffee, baby.” He leaned forward and kissed her, as they both smiled at one another.

“How about we put on some clothes, go grab Taylor and Apollo, and go to breakfast? I hear they have a good menu downstairs.” Gwen grinned and nodded at the suggestion and kissed him on the nose, before hopping up out of bed. She collected her discarded clothes from the night before as they were thrown all over the room, before reaching into her bag and pulling out tight leggings and a sweatshirt to throw on with her Nikes. She tugged her phone out of her purse and she texted Taylor, telling her they’d be down to get them soon and take them to breakfast.

Blake also picked up his clothes from the ground as he dug through his own suitcase to pull out fresh clothes to put on. Gwen was playing on her phone when he came up behind her, arms wrapping around her waist as he kissed her cheek.

“Ready?”

“Mmhmm…” she replied, tucking her phone in her pocket and taking his hand.

They took the elevator to the floor below them where Taylor’s room was to pick them up, Apollo full speed charging into Gwen and Blake while giggling. Gwen went to pick him up but Blake placed a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ve got him, rest your shoulder,” he said, as Apollo willingly jumped into Blake’s arms with a grin and the four of them headed to the restaurant. 

They arrived and were seated promptly, and Gwen started looking around at the restaurant they were in.

“Wow, I know it’s November, but I still can’t believe Thanksgiving is so soon.” She looked to Blake in that moment, as the waiter bent over the table to fill their water glasses. “What do you normally do for the holidays?”

“It’s a little different each year,” he said with a shrug. “I’d usually take a plane back to Oklahoma to see my mom, but I’ve got a lot of things hitting around that week this year so I’ll probably just end up staying in LA and seeing her for Christmas.”

“Do you have family in LA?”

“Nah. But, I’m sure Adam is going to end up dragging me somewhere with him and Behati.” He laughed a little, thinking about it. The waiter came back in that moment to take their order, and she ordered for herself and Apollo before Taylor and Blake spoke up. Her eyes went back to Blake, before looking over at Taylor.

“What about you, Taylor? Holiday plans?”

“Ahh, no, just going to be in LA working for this loser,” she said, pointing at Blake which made him chuckle again.

“Did you not give her any time off for Thanksgiving?” she asked him, but Taylor interrupted before he could get a word out.

“Oh no, no, Gwen, I don’t need any. I usually just stay with friends or something. It’s no big deal. I got out of the south long ago and there’s no reason to go back.”

Gwen remembered what Blake had said earlier about not knowing too much about Taylor’s family life, but she could guess from her reaction that it wasn’t the best. Her eyes looked up to Blake and he smiled down at her a bit.

“I want you to come have Thanksgiving at my parents house…they live in Anaheim,” she said bravely. “I don’t want you to be alone…and I’m sure my parents would really love to meet you know that we’re tabloid official.” She smiled at him and searched for his reaction, which was a mix between shock and excitement. 

“Wow Gwen, are you sure? I don’t want to intrude…but wow, I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be…as long as your dad isn’t scary, and as long as you’re sure,” he rambled a bit, which made her laugh.

“Yes cowboy, very sure,” she tugged at his arm and planted a quick kiss on his lips and smiled, before turning her attention back to Taylor.

“Taylor, the offer extends to you too, I’d love for you to come join us.”

Her eyes widened a bit and she looked to Blake, a bit unsure of what to say.

“Blake says you’re like honorary family to him. And I think it would be rad if you came, too. Only if you want. But I don’t want you to be alone, either, and my parents are great cooks.” Blake nodded at her, giving her the needed permission to say yes.

“Wow, Gwen, I uh…if you’re sure?” Taylor smiled genuinely and her heart seemed to warm for all to see, and Gwen laughed a little bit at them.

“You guys are two peas in a pod, you literally just had the same reaction to the same question.”

“Blame him. He’s older, so he’s probably the bad influence.” Gwen looked to Blake and he shrugged with a grin.

“I totally believe that.”

Not soon after they finished breakfast, Blake called one of the trucks from valet and began driving Gwen and Apollo to the airport. Their hands were laced as she loathed this tradition of theirs, but for him, she would have done anything. They were standing on that tarmac again, their lips pressed to one another as Blake’s arms went around both of them in a hug.

“Text me when you land,” he whispered into her ear. She was surprisingly holding it together better than usual, as only one tear fell from her eye as she smiled at him. 

“Have a good show tonight, okay? And text me when you land after.”

“I love you, Gwen.”

“Love you, cowboy."


	22. Blackout

It was day four. Four days had passed since she had seen him. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and now Wednesday - four days she had spent missing him.

Despite her office practically exploding in her face that Monday morning, she felt at least half of her day was consumed with missing him. It didn’t help that she had practically spent the last straight four days awake, as Apollo had developed a sudden aversion to sleeping and was keeping her up all night. It really didn’t help that daycare drop off in the mornings had become an hour long tragedy, ending in tears and guilt for the three days of the workweek, with Gwen betting the next two were going to just be the same. 

But, we need to back up here. This terrible week started first thing Monday morning, when Grace called her into her office.

__

_“Come in,” Grace’s ice cold exterior demanded, as Gwen moved into the glass office and closed the door behind her. Grace’s eyes moved to the empty chair, telling Gwen to sit. She obliged. And swallowed hard._

_Grace flung a stack of magazines on the table between them, and on instinct, Gwen’s eyes peered down. They only rested on the magazines for a split second before she realized what this was about - the covers were plastered with her and Blake, touting her as everything from “mystery girlfriend” to “groupie whore”. Gwen felt the air leave her lungs as her eyes went up to Grace, trying to search for the reason for the meeting._

_“Next time you want to pretend your son is sick to go hang out with your rich and famous boyfriend, Gwen, it might be a smart idea to not do so where you end up on page six,” she sneered._

_“Grace, I…”_

_“I’m not finished.” Her tone cut through the air, which silenced Gwen immediately. The awkward silence lingered between them, with Gwen torn about how to respond. Should she start talking? Should she stay quiet? Her anxieties were creeping up, her body was tense, and she knew if this went on for too long she’d start feeling sick._

_“This job allows a great deal of freedom,” she began, pointedly. “You’re able to work from home when needed. There are certain things you need to be in the office to do, and meetings here and there, but generally, you have your freedom. I don’t even really care how much you’re in the office. I won’t be lied to, though. You can’t just run off and fake a family emergency just to go screw around with someone. Your career won’t last long if you do, and god, Gwen, get a brain. No guy is worth fucking this opportunity up.”_

_“I swear to you I was in California,” she said finally, as she went digging in her purse. She pushed a stack of papers regarding the various custody hearings coming up across the glass table, which Grace glanced at. “Apollo was in the hospital. I have the hospital bills at home. He was almost hurt, and…”_

_“Children make women so weak,” Grace sighed, pushing the papers back at Gwen. “Fine. But just know, I’ll be watching you.” Grace waved a hand at Gwen to indicate the meeting was over, and Gwen moved forward to grab her purse and the papers and make her way out of the office immediately._

__

If only it had stopped there. If only Grace’s job threat had been the worst thing about the day, that would have made it so much easier - but it wasn’t. Nothing was ever easy. Gwen had scurried back to her office under enormous amounts more of stress than she thought possible, and along the way she heard whispers. Whispers weren’t normal. The news had obviously leaked and those she worked with figured out she was the girl in all of the news stories with Blake, and it was just a stabbing reminder at how vile women actually could be to one another. 

__

_“You know that Lagerfeld is super into all of the music scene…you know she has to be after him for something, god, I bet he knows someone that knows Lagerfeld and she’s trying to get to him and jump ship into designing couture. It’s a smart move, but so dirty…”_

_“Is she really that crafty, though? I feel like she must just be after his money…that’s probably a nice estate.”_

_“She’s not going to last long here. Watch - he’ll pull a typical prince charming move and she won’t have to work anymore, then she’ll get dumped like his ex when he’s on to the next girl. And you know what happens to people like that…”_

_“What?”_

_“Welfare or something. Or they go back and live with their parents.”_

_Gwen couldn’t slam the door hard enough, holding back the tears as she forced herself to her desk and into her e-mail. She forced herself into her spreadsheets. She forced herself into her work, through her tears._

__

It was Tuesday when the cameras started showing up.

It hit her first thing that morning, after she spent so much time fighting with Apollo to get him to stay at daycare, she flicked the local radio on as the morning talk show hosts started talking about Blake. It was then that the hosts mentioned walking down by her office building that morning, reporters with cameras standing out front because that’s where they believed Blake Shelton’s new girlfriend worked. 

Her stomach went into knots at the mention of her name and company, and she quickly cut across traffic to park in a far lot behind the cluster of buildings downtown. She knew that she could loop through one of the towers next to her office building and they were connected in the basement, which is exactly what she did. She took the long way in and up through her office, barely acknowledging anyone as she made a bee line for her office, shutting the door immediately behind her as she breathed out. She inched towards the tall, glass window and peered down into the street, seeing a mob of twenty or so people down there. It didn’t feel real that they were waiting for her. They had to get over this, right?

__

_There was a soft knock at the door, and Gwen turned her head as she watched the door open and Lizzy peered in._

_“Hi, baby doll,” she said quietly with a smile, trying to ascertain how she was. Gwen took a breath and turned on her heel, making her way to her desk and sitting down. Lizzy followed, closing the door behind her and taking a seat as well._

_“I don’t want to talk about it,” Gwen said simply, her voice weak as she avoided looking at her best friend. She started to type something and she stopped a minute later, hitting her hands on her desk in frustration. “I can’t talk about it. Grace is threatening my life, I have so many reports I need to get done, there are people outside trying to hound me for a tabloid story, Apollo hasn’t slept in two nights, and everyone is talking about me. About Blake. Nobody is talking to me, they’re all talking to each other _about_ me.” She breathed as her eyes shut hard, a few tears being forced down her cheeks. Her hand clenched the edge of her desk as she forced them open again. “I can’t talk about it.”_

_“Okay,” Lizzy conceded lightly. “What does Blake say about all of this?”_

_“Nothing. He doesn’t know.”_

_“Honey, you should tell him.”_

_“Why? So he can worry? So he can hop on a plane again to come rescue me? I don’t want that. He can’t keep doing that.”_

_“I think you need to hear his voice,” she said, standing up. “I’ll leave you be. Just let me know if you need anything today, ok?”_

_“Thanks, Lizzy, but besides my meeting this afternoon I really just think I need to stay locked in here.”_

_“I’ll bring you lunch, around noon. So you don’t have to leave.”_

_“Don’t worry about it. I’m not taking a break today.”_

__

She drove to work the next day - still no sleep, no breaks, and another hour wrestling with Apollo to stay in his classroom at daycare. Gwen didn’t bother to turn the radio station on and drove to work silent, taking the same route as she had the day before. 

Even through all of her time alone in her office the day before, she had barely gotten anything done. She was too consumed in her thoughts to really do much of anything, and she kept walking over to the large glass windows to look at the streets below. She didn’t mean for it to happen, but she felt a small resentment building up inside of her. She resented Blake’s life and how it was causing her so much stress on top of missing him like a normal girlfriend. She resented the fact that she didn’t feel safe, and she felt like people were trying to reveal her life in print, or, if it wasn’t interesting enough, make something up that the gossip columnists would eat right up. She hated the fact that so many people at work were talking to and treating her so horribly all of a sudden, and that her boss had basically threatened her job. It was giving her anxiety, and she probably would have had a panic attack by now if she had enough energy for one to come on, but she didn’t. She was exhausted.

The espresso hit her lips and her eyes instantly opened, if only for a moment. She was heading to a meeting with a vendor, and those production reports made her crazy and she needed the caffeine to focus. Her glasses perched on her nose, as she pushed open the conference room and plastered a big smile on her face just for it to fall immediately.

“You’re not Nigel,” she said simply. The door closed behind her. “This is conference room 9A - this is my room. You are not my vendor. Who are you?” Normally, she wasn’t so rough around the edges, but with the lack of sleep and constant stress lately, it was a wonder she was forming coherent statements.

“I’m your ten o’clock,” the man stated, rising and walking over to Gwen and holding out his hand. “Ben Folds, from The National.” He was standing with his back to the door now, almost as if he knew she might leave. It took Gwen a moment but the air from her lungs disappeared as she put two and two together. 

“The National? As in, the celebrity gossip magazine?”

“That is correct.”

“Let me out of here, NOW!” she screamed the last word at him as she felt her body start to shake - in fear or anger, she really couldn’t tell.

“Now Gwen, hear me out. You have all the control right now. You can talk to me, and we can print nothing but happy things about you and Blake being together. Or you can ignore me, call security on me, and I can turn you into the villain that broke up his marriage. The options are pretty clear, actually.”

“I swear to god I’m going to scream if you don’t get out of my way,” she said, taking a step back from him as she suddenly realized how close she was.

“Hey, how’s that scum of an ex of yours enjoying his time rotting in prison? That’s another great thing we could do if we wanted - we could always paint you as the trashy gold digging whore after his money instead of your son - what’s his name, Apollo? - being your dirty love child. See, Gwen, you and I can work together on this.”

It might have been the sound of hearing this slimy reporter say her son’s name that shook her to her core, but she was suddenly scared and she just started screaming. She remembered Lizzy’s office was right next to this conference room, and she started screaming her name, too. Her friend must have jumped into action quick, as soon she was standing at the conference door, tugging at the heavy door to open despite this Ben guy’s weight against it, and a few moments later two very large security guards were pushing their way into the room and dragging him out of the building.

“Hard way it is, Gwen,” he sneered. “Don’t ever say I didn’t try and work with you.”

Her body was shaking and she didn’t even realize it. It wasn’t until Lizzy approached and she reached her hands out to hold hers and hers were so steady. “He threatened Apollo,” was all she said. She had tears coming down her cheeks as her breathing was starting to get erratic. She fumbled into her blazer pocket and grabbed her phone, about to dial, but a text message had come through. It seemed to fuel her even more as she started furiously dialing. Dialing _him._

“What are you doing?” Lizzy asked, alarmed, as she reached for the conference door to shut them in for some privacy. 

“Hi, baby!”

“I can’t do this anymore!” she practically screamed. She was crying as she couldn’t catch her breath, and she was frankly surprised she had enunciated so well to begin with.

“Gwen, you’re scaring the hell out of me. What happened? What’s wrong?!”

“I can’t believe you just texted me and told me to quit my job!”

“What?! Gwen, no! I didn’t! I just said I was sorry you were having a bad week at work and that —"

“GWEN, this is NOT his fault!” Lizzy said and snatched the phone away from her. “You are overwhelmed. You are upset. And you need to breathe. You need to rest. You need to eat something. Drink water. Something. You need to take care of yourself. I’m not going to stand here and let you say things you don’t mean because you don’t know what you’re saying right now.”

She knew this wasn’t his fault. She just hated him so badly for how much she missed him.

“You said you didn’t want to call him because he’d worry, but this probably did more harm. So I’m going to take your phone, and go to my office, and talk to him. You need to stay in here and breathe. Okay?”

She nodded as more tears came down her face, and Lizzy left to go across the way and into her office.

Blake had heard the entire conversation. “Hello?” he asked over the phone, not sure if he would get a response. 

“Hi, Blake, this is Lizzy,” she said, letting out a breath.

“Lizzy, what the hell is going on? What’s happening?!” he sounded so heartbroken and worried and her heart went out to him. 

“Listen, things have gotten kind of crazy around here. There have been reporters with cameras outside of her office building for days…and I think one just got past security and she freaked out when he threatened Apollo. Grace has been riding her hard this week and threatened her job, and Apollo hasn’t slept at all. She’s not good. And she didn’t want to call and worry you.”

“Lizzy, do I need to come to Atlanta?”

She sighed. “I don’t know, Blake.”

“This is my fault.”

“No. She doesn’t blame you for this, no matter what she just said. She’s having an anxiety attack. She doesn’t know what she’s saying right now.”

“Lizzy, please go take care of her,” he breathed. “Thank you.” And with that, he hung up.

She was about to say something else, but the line went dead. Lizzy sighed, leaving her office and coming back across the way and into the conference room. It was silent. It took her a few moments to realize that Gwen was on the ground, and completely blacked out to the world.


	23. Illuminate

_”Get away from me. You’re not taking me anywhere,” she said firmly, as Gwen began removing the blood pressure cuff off of her arm that the paramedic had secured to her only moments before._

_Conference Room 9A had turned into quite the place to be. Gwen was on the ground, her head on a pillow in Lizzy’s lap as three paramedics surrounded her, with a fourth standing at the door. Security guards and various upper management seemed to keep trickling by to check on the situation, as well as plenty of nosey co-workers that just wanted to get the gossip on what happened._

_“Quit being stubborn and let them check you,” Lizzy said firmly, nudging at Gwen’s arm._

_“Lizzy, I’m fine. I just need to go back…”_

_“Gwen, you are NOT. FINE. Sit still and shut the fuck up.”_

_Maybe it was the profanity, or the seriousness of her voice unlike anything she had ever heard from Lizzy that silenced and made her still. She took a breath as Lizzy placed her hand over Gwen’s forehead with a warm towel, and in that moment she knew her friend’s snarkiness wasn’t personal. She also knew that might have been the only way to get her to stop fighting people off of her in that moment. If she had felt fine, she would have sat up. If she had felt fine, her stomach wouldn’t be in knots and her hands still wouldn’t be shaking. She knew she wasn’t fine. But the alternative of being taken to the hospital right out the front door was a hell of a lot worse._

_“Ma’am, I’d really prefer it if you’d let us take you in to run a few more tests,” one of the paramedics spoke up, and she just shook her head and looked away. “If you won’t go in with us, then we’re going to need you to sit up on your own before we leave, at the very least.”_

_She exhaled, a little frustrated with them as she brought her hands to her sides and slowly, gently pushed herself up into a sitting position. She felt dizzy, but managed to keep herself upright with a little help. One of the paramedics crouched down next to her and quickly flashed a light to check her pupils, having her follow the object before nodding._

_They left soon after that. For that, she was thankful. But in the meantime, she realized everyone was leaving and pretty soon, she was left alone with Lizzy._

_“You’re going to come stay with me for at least a few days,” Lizzy said. “You’ll stay in the guest room, and Apollo can have the extra bunk bed in the kids room. I’m not asking.”_

_Gwen was going to jump in and protest. The words were right on the tip of her tongue, but something stopped them. Her mind went to Apollo, and how he didn’t need to see her like this, he didn’t need to watch her work herself up at night about everything and lose it in front of him. Gwen also knew Lizzy wouldn’t let her do that to herself if she was around._

_Blake came to her mind next. The sudden memory hit her of what she had just done, and she felt the hope drain completely out of her body._

_“Okay,” she conceded easily, which surprised Lizzy._

_“Let’s sit here for a little longer until you feel like standing, okay?”_

_She honestly had no idea what she would have done without her best friend._

__

\-----

That had been two days ago. After eventually standing up, Lizzy took Gwen to her home early and put her to bed to rest. Lizzy made her way to Apollo’s daycare to pick him up, and brought him along with collecting her kids from their school. Gwen had taken a pretty heavy anxiety pill that caused her to sleep most of the afternoon and evening away, and she didn’t remember much outside of Apollo crawling on the bed to hug her when they got home. Maybe it was better to forget the rest.

The next day, she woke up and her and Lizzy took the kids to daycare and school and they went in to work late together. Gwen brought Lizzy through the back path into the office building to avoid the front, and when she got to her office her eyes peered out into the streets. They seemed to be losing interest, as there were less people waiting. It was really a wonder they were still waiting at all, considering nobody had caught her exiting or entering the building once since they started waiting. Maybe it would die down.

Her eyes went to her phone sitting on her desk. She hit the home button to make it come alive, immediately showing her there were no texts, and no missed calls. She let out a shaky, heavy breath as she closed her eyes, the guilt washing over her. She knew she was putting herself in this misery, but she had a paralyzing fear that he didn’t want to talk to her anymore. She was so scared he wanted nothing to do with her after she freaked out. Gwen knew she was justified on some level, the only thing that had really pushed her over the edge was the fact that she felt her son was threatened but she just kept pushing it away, not wanting to think about it or deal with it. Not knowing how to think about it or deal with it, really, because if he didn’t want her anymore, she didn’t know what she’d do.

That night it really hit her hard. After dinner with Lizzy’s family, Apollo was curled up with Gwen in bed and watching a kids movie when he pulled her phone out of her hand. The lock screen illuminated, revealing a picture of Gwen and Blake together.

“Dada?” Apollo asked, turning to Gwen and holding her phone up at her with a confused look on his face. That one simple word really fucked her up as all she could do to contain most of her impending tears was to hold him tighter against her, kissing his head and moving her phone out of his view.

Her anxiety hit really hard that next morning and she couldn’t get herself out of bed. Lizzy had come in to make sure she was up and found her breathing heavily on the edge of the bed. Lizzy sat down next to her, rubbing her back a little.

__

\-----

_”Gwen, take one of your pills.”_

_“No, No…I..I can’t. I can’t take one and then work.”_

_“Then don’t go into work today. Stay here,” she paused. “I think you need to stay here. Maybe you went back too soon and that’s why you’re like this.”_

_“Grace…”_

_“Grace will be fine,” Lizzy shut that thought down. “You have your laptop here. You can get your work done. There’s nothing you need in your office, right?”_

_“R..right.”_

_“So you’ll sleep some this morning and then wake up in the afternoon to get some things done, okay? It’s settled.” Lizzy reached over Gwen to the nightstand and took the pill bottle, handing it to Gwen. “Rest, okay? You need to take care of yourself.”_

__

\-----

She slept most of Friday away, too. She woke up for a few hours and got a few work things done, but largely rested. Lizzy’s guest bedroom had become her second home, and strangely it started to feel calming just to be there in silence. She felt numb from the tranquilizing pills. She was starting to try and force herself to move on, but she couldn’t. She could only manage to keep herself trapped in the unknown, and that might start killing her faster. 

It was around seven that night when her eyes opened again, the first view was the smooth ceiling above her. She inhaled and let out a breath as her sleepy eyes forced themselves open, a small light on the opposite end of the room as the only illumination.

“Hi.”

Her breath caught somewhere in her throat at the low, familiar country voice. It was painful to hear almost and for a moment, she thought she imagined it. They hadn’t spoken in three days and she was just hearing things now, right? Her desperation to not be in this situation must have been winning out over her sanity, maybe? She felt a large, warm hand cover hers and she shut her eyes at the impact.

“You’re not really here right now. Are you?” she asked softly. 

“Gwen, I’m right here, baby,” he responded gently. 

It was then that she allowed herself to look over to where the voice came from, and her eyes rested on Blake sitting at her bedside. 

She inhaled, and moved into a sitting position, leaning back against the pillows on the headboard as her gaze stayed in her lap. Her hands felt like ice, and she couldn’t help but hold onto his hand with both of hers in that moment to steal his warmth. A few tears began pricking in her eyes right before she lifted her gaze to look at Blake’s eyes for the first time.

“Why are you here?” she asked, barely above a whisper.

He sighed, moving out of his chair and sitting on the bed next to her, still holding her hand. She was having a hard time keeping it together with him being this close to her, and he must have seen that.

“I had to come and see you. Lizzy said you got so upset you passed out this week…and a lot of other things happened...and I know that’s my fault. And I know that you probably don’t ever want to see me again, and that your life would be so much easier without me in it…but I had to come. I had to come and make sure you were okay.” The words came out painfully, so much so that Gwen felt herself practically wincing at his words. 

“That’s not true,” she said, trying to catch her breath a bit as she tried holding in a sob. “None of that is how I feel.”

“How do you feel?”

“I feel like the worst person in this entire world. I feel so ashamed and guilty.” She shook her head a bit, as the tears began coming. Blake reached out and wiped her cheeks, his simple touch on her face seeming to ease her in that moment. “I feel scared.”

“What do you feel scared about?”

She let out a shaky breath as she worked again to hold another sob in. “Everything. I got so scared when that reporter threatened Apollo. I got so scared when I realized what I said to you, and I was too ashamed and guilty after that. I’m scared I ruined us.”

“What you just said to me - how you just told me how you felt, and what was going on - Gwen - that’s all you ever need to do,” Blake responded. 

“I’ve never been worried about by someone else. You shouldn’t have to worry about me when you’re not with me. You shouldn’t have to jump on a plane when you think I’m upset.”

“Darlin’, there’s nothing you can do to change the fact that I worry about you all the time.” He offered her a small smile. “And to be fair, you did black out."

“I can’t lose you, Blake.” And with that small admission, she felt herself break down in tears.

Blake moved forward and next to her, pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly as she cried into his chest. He kissed the top of her head as he stayed silent in those moments.

“Please don’t leave,” Gwen said, catching her breath as she relaxed slightly into him. She knew it sounded desperate, probably, but she didn’t care. She had to show him how much this was breaking her apart.

“I’m not going anywhere. I swear."

“I was horrible, and I don’t deserve you to stay. I lashed out at you because I was scared of something else. None of this is your fault, and then I was just so scared to try and talk to you these past few days, I didn’t know what to do, and…”

“Shhh…” he whispered into her ear. “We’re good. Okay?” Gwen nodded, and hugged him tighter and closed her eyes for a few moments. She turned and looked up at him and softly placed a kiss on his lips. Her entire body seemed to melt and relax after that.

“I want to come stay with you for a little while,” he said next, which caused Gwen to look up at him. “I know we’re headed to California at the end of next week for Thanksgiving, but up until then, I want to stay here with you. At the very least, until all of this blows over a bit.”

“Blake, you don’t have to…”

“Gwen, I want to.”

“Okay.”

Blake must have looked surprised at her conceding so quickly. Gwen took notice, and tried formulating an explanation.

“I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to push you away. I’m just trying to let you take care of me,” she tried explaining, and those words alone could have melted his heart. It showed that she was listening to him. It showed him that she wanted him. He was speechless, and all he wanted to do was lean in and kiss her again, which he did with a smile on his lips.

“Come here, lay down with me,” she said next, crawling out of his lap and tugging the covers on the bed back to get underneath them. Blake moved to lay down on his back as his head propped up behind him on his arm. Gwen shifted towards him and moved to hover above his lips for a moment before kissing him again and moving down to lay on top of him, her cheek resting right next to his heartbeat. 

“This really bad week all started on Monday, actually.”

“Tell me what happened on Monday,” he responded, his arm coming around her back to hold her close to him. Gwen let out a breath and started rambling about Grace and all of the bad things she said, and about how there were snarky radio personalities and co-workers talking about them and how there were people outside of her office building trying to take her picture. She told him about Ben Folds, the reporter that somehow got past security and scared her to death, and he made a mental note to look into that guy because he didn’t like the way he sounded. She recalled Apollo keeping her up all nights in between all of the drama, which only added to her stress and exhaustion. She told him about her forgetting most of what happened when she blacked out, about her anxiety attack, and the last few days staying with Lizzy. By the end of it, she let out a giant breath and her body seemed to hold him a little tighter. 

“Thank you,” he said after a few moments.

“For what?”

“For telling me about your week. For getting everything off your chest.” He kissed the top of her head. 

“I remember telling you earlier that I didn’t know if I knew how to let someone love me.” Her eyes went up to his in that moment, as if she was searching for something.

“You’re working on it, darlin’. This was good.”

“I can’t tell you how much I needed this,” she said, her chin turning to rest on his chest as she looked up to him once more. “I love you. Like, a lot.”

Blake chuckled a little as Gwen leaned her head on him again, her body relaxing. 

“And I love you, _like, a lot,_ too,” he said, slightly poking fun at her.


	24. Thanksgiving

“You’ll be okay. I promise.”

Her piercing brown eyes looked up to meet Blake’s baby blues and she gave him a small, reassuring smile. Her arm slid around his waist and she hugged him close to her, and she felt him exhale in that moment. She knew him too well though; she knew that was probably the last time that he was going to relax at all that day. She pushed up on her toes and kissed him on the cheek at the same moment the door in front of them opened.

“Gwen!” an older woman practically squealed in delight, moving forward to bring the blonde into a tight hug. Blake could only make the assumption that this woman was her mother, and his cheeks turned slightly red at the realization that she had just opened the door to Gwen kissing him. His gaze looked down and away, almost as if he thought maybe that would help him disappear. 

“Gamma!” Apollo shouted, and Patti pulled back from embracing Gwen and went straight for her little one, that was currently sitting in Taylor’s arms. The little guy sure did hate it when he was left out of getting attention, which caused Patti to laugh a little at him as Apollo leaped into her arms.

“Hello there, handsome little boy,” she said, kissing Apollo on the forehead. “My, you’ve gotten so big!”

“Mom…this is Taylor and uhm…this is Blake,” she said, reaching her hand out for Blake’s which brought his attention back to reality. 

“Thank you for inviting me to your home, ma’am,” Taylor said.

Patti set Apollo on the ground next to her and smiled at the younger girl. “Honey, if you ever need a family, even if it’s just to rent one for the day, you come on over, okay?” Apollo took off into the house, grabbing Taylor’s hand as he tugged her along giggling. Taylor smiled once more at Patti and obliged with Apollo’s demanding pulls, following him into the house.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Blake,” Patti said, turning to him to offer a smile. “You were quite the surprise when Gwen told me about you - she’s really not one to get out that much.”

“I’m not either, to be honest, ma’am,” he offered with a small smile. Gwen squeezed his hand for reassurance, and she was a little stunned in that moment at how this was going. The conversation was stiff. Her mother was being stiff. Patti was never like this - she was always everybody’s mother, greeting people with hugs and fresh baked cookies. Patti spent Gwen’s entire childhood ‘adopting’ various friends of hers into the family when they didn’t have much of a home life. Her mom was also the first to always embrace her boyfriends, eventually probing at her father, Dennis, to come around eventually. But she didn’t feel any of that now. All she felt was stiffness. 

“Well please, do come in,” Patti said, moving out of the doorway and to the side to let them through, which they did. Gwen inhaled the familiar scents that only ran through her parents’ house on Thanksgiving morning. Some things never changed.

“You know, we have plenty of room here at the house, it really wouldn’t have been a problem for you all to stay over with us a few days…”

“It’s okay, mom, Blake owns a house in LA, and Apollo and I are staying with him. We’re comfortable there.”

“More comfortable than staying with your family?”

“ _Mom_ ,” Gwen said, cutting through the tension with a knife with her tone of voice.

“Okay, okay, never mind. Come on, you know the party is actually happening in the kitchen,” she said, as she turned and started making her way to the kitchen. Gwen didn’t move at first, causing Blake to look down at her and also hesitate to follow.

“She…seems nice,” Blake said. If Gwen didn’t have it in the back of her mind to keep him calm, she would have rolled her eyes.

“Something’s off,” was all she said, her eyes fixated in the direction of the rest of the family. She pushed up on her toes and kissed him on the lips briefly before tugging him along to follow into the kitchen. 

“Gwen!” someone shouted, and within seconds she had a crowd of various Stefani family members coming over to take their turns hugging her. Blake let go of her hand as he smiled, watching everyone love on her for a few minutes. A woman came to stand by Blake, and she did a once over on him before speaking up.

“You must be the new hot boyfriend,” she said. “Gwen was definitely right about you.”

“Jen, leave him alone.”

“Come here, slut,” she said with a giggle as Jen threw her arms around Gwen in a tight embrace, Todd coming up behind them. When Jen pulled back from the hug, Todd went in right after her.

“Remind me why you moved all the way across the country, again?” he asked. “Good to see you, sis.”

“Ugh. It’s too early to start fighting about that again,” Gwen said.

“Hey everyone, this is Gwen’s new hot boyfriend,” Jen announced to the room, which caused Blake to shyly look down.

“Jen, seriously, you need to leave the poor guy alone,” Gwen said, playfully shoving at her arm. “Also, his name is Blake, and we brought a friend who is running around here somewhere with Apollo, her name is Taylor.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Todd said, holding out his hand with Blake excitedly shook. In the very least, Todd seemed to be accepting of him, and maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all. He looked back down to Gwen and smiled. Gwen reached for his hand and tugged him along to the large island in the middle of the kitchen, and made them both iced teas as her eyes rested on the large serving platters of various appetizers her mom had made. Patti was such a hostess when she had people over, and Gwen seemed to get a lot of that from her. 

“Hi daddy,” Blake heard Gwen say suddenly, and his head snapped over to watch whom she had identified as her father. He watched Gwen hug Dennis, and the air seemed to leave his lungs as he started for a moment, trying to get a sense of him. Once they hugged, Blake moved forward a bit and offered his hand to him.

“Mr. Stefani,” he said. “It’s very nice to meet you. Thank you for having me over, sir.”

Dennis looked skeptical for a moment, but eventually took Blake’s hand into a handshake and nodded. “You’re very welcome. Gwen has told us a lot about you.”

Blake looked down to Gwen and they smiled at each other, and he felt brave enough in that moment to slide his arm around her back and pull her to him. “You have an amazing daughter, sir. It’s an honor that she lets me date her.”

“She is pretty amazing,” Dennis conceded. “Works hard. Raises Apollo on her own. She’s strong and independent, so independent that she just picked up one day and moved across the country.”

“Dad, can we not start this again…”

“Sorry. Enjoy your snacks,” he said, patting Blake on the shoulder as he moved to walk into the living room. 

It was silent for a moment between them, and eventually Gwen found the courage for her eyes to wander up to Blake.

“He seems -“

“- don’t say it.”

——

Throughout the madness, Blake and Gwen took a few moments to themselves to slip outside onto the back porch to take a breather. Blake seemed to be getting along splendidly with Todd and Jen, but there was something stiff about her parents still and it was giving her anxiety. Once they came outside, Blake took a seat on a swinging bench, pulling Gwen next to him.

“I don’t know what to say,” Gwen said eventually.

“Say about what?”

“My family. They’re not treating you well. At all. It’s upsetting me.”

“Darlin’, Todd and Jen are great. And as for your parents…they’re not being mean. They’re being protective of you. Think about it from their perspective - you start dating a famous country singer and they only found out because a friend of theirs called them after seeing an article in a tabloid. That’s not a good way to find out your daughter is dating someone.”

“I know, but - “

“No ‘but’s. I’m okay. And this will all end up being okay. I will use my dimples against your mother if I have to.” The last part made Gwen giggle a bit and she placed a kiss on his cheek. “Love you, cowboy.”

They ended up going back inside after a few more minutes of escape. The two made their way into the living room, taking a seat on the couch together near Patti and Dennis. Taylor was sitting on the floor with Apollo, playing with a puzzle game together. He started getting fussy, throwing various pieces on the ground and Gwen knew those signs. She looked to Blake and sighed. 

“I’m going to go put him down for a nap upstairs. You’ll be okay?”

“Yes, darlin’, I’ll be fine,” he said, offering her a smile. He watched as Gwen stood up and collected Apollo in her arms, rounding the corner to take the stairs to the second level to go put him down. Making sure that Gwen was out of earshot, Blake turned his gaze to Dennis.

“Mr. Stefani?” he asked, which grabbed Dennis’ attention towards him. “I want to apologize for how you found out about me dating Gwen. That wasn’t the way that we wanted to approach it, and sometimes because of my line of work things like that get out when they’re not supposed to. I really care deeply about your daughter, and Apollo, and I promised both of them that I would always take care of them and keep them safe. I know that this is backwards because I just met you, but — I want to ask your permission to date your daughter.”

Blake wasn’t breathing after the last words left his mouth, as he looked at Dennis expectantly and his eyes briefly flashed to Patti, who suddenly seemed to be warming up to him in that moment. Finally, Dennis broke the silence. 

“It’s hard for me to wrap my head around Gwen dating someone that has paparazzi following them everywhere. That worries me. It sounds like it could be dangerous.”

“I understand,” Blake conceded. “And I want you to know I’m serious when I say that I’m going to take care of them. They’ve become so important to me, I’d do anything for them.”

Silence followed. If silence had potential to kill someone, he would be on the ground right now, he was sure of it.

“Where are you from, Blake?” Patti chimed in, as she moved to sit next to Dennis.

“Oklahoma, ma’am,” he responded. “I have a large ranch out there, but I live in LA part-time for work.”

“Is Gwen the only woman that you’re dating?” Patti asked next, though she seemed a little shy about it.

“Absolutely. She’s all I want.” Blake offered a soft, dimpled smile to them as his mind when to Gwen. He didn’t even realize he was using his best ammunition in that moment to make Patti - at least - start to fall for him. 

“No hidden wives? Children?”

“No, ma’am. I have an ex-wife, but she’s the male version of Gwen’s ex-husband so that’s long gone. No children. Though, maybe one day.”

“Dennis,” the older man said suddenly, which caused Blake’s gaze to turn back to him.

“What?”

“Dennis. You can call me Dennis, son,” and at that, Dennis pat Blake on the back, which he took as approval.

“She’s happy with you,” Patti admitted. “She’s not so stressed. And the way she looks at you, I’ve never seen her look at anyone like that before.” Patti stood to her feet and walked over to Blake, wrapping her arms around him. “Thank you for taking care of my baby girl.”

Gwen walked down the stairs and into the living room right as Patti pulled back from her hug with Blake, and she immediately raised an eyebrow as she walked over to Blake cautiously. 

“What’s going on?” she asked, a bit nervously. 

“Blake, how are you at cooking a turkey?” Dennis asked.

“I’ve made a lot of turkeys growing up,” he responded. 

“Why don’t you come in the kitchen and help me with mine? I could use some help.”

Gwen’s eyes widened, a bit alarmed as she looked over to Blake, prompting him to know what was going on.

“I’ll be fine, baby,” he smiled and leaned forward and dared to kiss her on the lips in front of her parents, neither of which minded, and that was starting to freak her out again. She watched as Blake followed Dennis into the kitchen, and Gwen looked at her mother, a bit dumbfounded. 

“You found yourself a good one, baby girl,” she said sweetly, with a small smile. 

——

The tension that started out the day was long gone, and Gwen finally felt herself relax as Blake seemed to suddenly blend in seamlessly with her family. She still had no idea what had happened, but she was to the point where she wouldn’t dare mention it for fear that it would fall apart. Blake and Dennis seemed to be bonding over something beyond a dead bird, with Todd occasionally offering Blake another beer and dropping in on parts on the conversation. She wanted so badly to be over there with him, but she knew how important it was for him to feel like he was getting along with her parents, so she left him alone for a little bit while she sat with Jen in the living room.

“I don’t know what I would do without him, Jen,” Gwen said, sipping on her glass of wine. “I know I haven’t known him that long but…god, everything he has done for me and the way we are when we’re together is just magical. I can’t explain it. I know it sounds crazy.”

“No, it doesn’t sound crazy. It sounds like you’re in love.”

“I do love him.” That seemed to be the only thing she felt she really knew anymore. “He takes care of me - takes care of us - and just makes me feel so safe. Before we came out here, he stayed with me for almost a full week on his break from tour, and those are my favorite times. Just when its us, no plane rides or teary goodbyes, just us in one spot for a while living a somewhat normal kind of life.”

“He can’t take his eyes off of you, either. He’s trying to hard to concentrate on Dennis, who - let’s be real - is probably telling Blake some boring old guy story, but he keeps looking over here at you.”

Gwen’s eyes went to him in that moment, catching Blake’s on her, and she smiled at him. Her attention went back to Jen as she sipped on her wine again, setting the glass on the table. In a few moments, Blake was hovering overtop of her with a grin as he gently moved Gwen up a bit so he could sit on the couch, putting her down in his lap.

“Hi baby,” she said, cuddling into Blake a little bit. He kissed her cheek.

“Your dad is really serious about that turkey,” he said with a small chuckle. “He has a lot of philosophies on different ways to cook and season, and I think I just learned most of them.”

“Okay, Blake, what happened earlier? I’m serious, please tell me. One minute they’re all standoffish, and the next my mom is hugging you and you’re my dad’s new best friend.”

“Nothing happened, Gwen. I just told them how I felt about you. I told them you and Apollo were mine to take care of and how I took that job seriously.”

“Oh yeah? And how do you feel about me, cowboy?” she asked, a hint of playfulness in her eye. Blake grinned and suddenly pushed his lips into hers, giving her a long, slow kiss.

“Up the hall, two doors down on the left,” Jen said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. Gwen rolled her eyes at Jen’s ‘creative’ way of telling the two of them to get a room. 

“Don’t tempt me,” Gwen said, to which Blake chuckled a bit. She kissed him again and sat up in his lap a bit, running her hand through his hair. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she said softly. 

“Me too. I told you everything would be okay. They all love me now.” There was a hint of pride in his voice as he grinned at her again. 

“Who couldn’t love you?” she asked, not able to stop herself from kissing him again.

“Food is ready,” Todd called into the living room, turning around quickly as if he thought he was going to see something he shouldn’t have. 

“Come on,” Gwen nudged, pulling him up to stand with her. His hands went to her waist as the two of them walked into the kitchen, their eyes met with the incredible Thanksgiving spread before them. After making plates, they went to sit down at the large dining room table with the rest of the family, Gwen’s hand resting in Blake’s lap. She just couldn’t resist touching him in some way at all times. Dennis said grace, and everyone began to eat. 

——

It was a Thanksgiving night Stefani tradition to start putting Christmas decorations up, and as soon as dinner was finished and dishes were put into the dishwasher, everyone gradually migrated towards the living room. Todd pulled in a large Christmas tree, while Dennis, Gwen, and Blake pulled some totes into the room that were filled with decorations and tree ornaments. Slowly, they began unpacking the boxes as they continued to eat and drink, with a Christmas movie on in the background for the kids. It was such a sweet, perfect ending to an eventful day, and it honestly couldn’t have gotten any better. Once the totes were empty and put back in storage, Gwen couldn’t help but let out a yawn.

“Tired, honey?” Blake asked, rubbing her back a bit.

“Mmhmm…” she responded. “It’s been a long day.”

“Blake?” Patti’s voice came through the hallway, and she walked towards him. When she was next to him, he noticed she had a small shopping bag and handed it to him. “Here are some leftovers for tomorrow, I wanted to make sure you didn’t leave without taking any.”

A smile lit up his features as he nodded. “Thank you, ma’am, I appreciate it.” Patti went in to give him a hug, and Gwen almost giggled watching her six-foot-five boyfriend crouch down for her tiny mom to make that hug work. 

“Thank you for taking care of them,” she said. “And…Gwen? You take care of him, too, okay?”

“I promise I’ll take care of him,” she said, her arms going around his waist and hugging him.

Apollo fell asleep again on the car ride home, and Gwen seemed to doze off a bit in the front seat after a few minutes of conversation. Before she even realized it, the truck was being pulled up into his driveway, and he was gently nudging at her and whispering sweet nothings to coax her awake again. She yawned as she pushed herself out of the truck, Blake going immediately to the back to drape a sleepy Apollo over his arms as they made their way inside. Gwen made a bee line for the master bedroom as Blake got Apollo situated, then stood in the doorframe to the master bedroom. Gwen was sitting on the bed, slowly unzipping her boots off as another yawn escaped.

“You really do look so tired, baby,” he said, and she realized he had been watching her for a bit.

“I’m not _that_ tired, you know…”

“Oh? What is that supposed to mean?” he asked with a grin. Blake moved himself off of the doorframe and closed the door behind him before moving over towards Gwen slowly. 

“I’m just saying, if there was something, _anything_ , else that you wanted to do today I mean…I’d probably be fine with it.” She was being mischievous with that challenging look in her eye, and he knew it. He moved over to her closer, coming up to sit on the bed next to her. Slowly, he moved down to her neck, kissing her lightly there. Gwen’s hands lightly clenched onto the bed below her as she tried to maintain her composure, letting out a breath.

“I’m not sure if I can think of anything. What about you?” he said, his breath against her skin as he softly kissed her neck again. She bit her lip and her eyes went to him, exhaling once more as his hand came to rest on her back gently. 

“I think…that you’re thinking of more things than you’re letting on,” she responded. His kisses moved up a bit, meeting her jawline as her mouth parted slightly. Anticipating him. 

This back and forth they had going on was doing things to her. Her body ached and wanted him on her so badly, but this buildup was intense and she was frozen. The way he handled her so gently sometimes like this threw her off her game. In a way, it was the first time she had really felt like someone was truly, and deeply, in love with her. 

“I’m really bad at making decisions. You know that, baby,” his voice was just above a whisper as his hand moved on her back and under her shirt, lightly tracing his finger along her bare skin which made her shiver. “Just try to think of something.” Another kiss on her jawline, as he was getting dangerously close to her mouth. 

“We could…go to sleep,” she said, not one to so easily give in.

Blake let out a low chuckle. “Baby, if there’s one thing you don’t want to do right now, it’s sleep.” Another kiss on her jawline, only a mere inch from her lips. “Tell me I’m wrong,” he whispered in a dare.

Gwen opened her mouth to speak but was suddenly muffled as Blake’s lips covered hers and he pushed them back onto the mattress below. She gasped lightly at the sudden movement, and soon found herself matching and deepening his kisses. Blake’s hand was still on her bare back, his fingers lightly stroking her as he continued to kiss her. His hands both moved to grip her hip bones and she let out a breath, trying to catch it before they continued their make out session. 

He pulled her hips over onto the bed more as he moved in between her legs before taking her mouth in his once more. Her hands went to the back of his head as she forced him to deepen his kisses, gasping for air every once in a while.

Blake took his time with her. He wanted to love on her without automatically just ripping her clothes off, though he finally had enough of that idea and soon began tugging her shirt over her head. Her bra was next - he snapped it off with expert ease, and his mouth dipped down to find her nipples.

Gwen moaned as he took them under his command, licking and sucking one while lightly fingering across the other. He knew this was the one thing that drove her insane more than anything else, and tonight was a no holds barred type of night. Her hips started writhing and bucking up into him as he teased her.

Bras and t-shirts turned into pants and boxers as it only took them a few minutes to discard the rest of their clothes, leaving both completely naked on the bed. Blake was laying in between her legs, making out with her heavily, as her wet center was begging for him to enter her. The foreplay was close to killing her, and he got the message as her bucks up into him became more insistent. He easily pushed the tip into her and slid in without much work, as she very quickly began moving against him to build the friction. They had both needed this for so long, and once they both met a mutual release, they just laid next to one another, catching their breaths. 

“For someone who doesn’t have any ideas, that was a pretty damn good one."


	25. Spoon

She felt his warm, naked body wrapped around her completely from behind. It was the first thing she realized as she gently began to stir, her sleepy eyes opening as she realized it was morning. They were curled up in the spooning position again, and she swore it made her heart explode every time. Gwen loved cuddling and laying with Blake in a variety of ways, but there was something about this particular position that still even made her blush. It was the safest she felt, even the smallest she felt against him as there was something to be said for how he held her tight like he was afraid to lose her, covering the majority of her body with his. She felt a soft kiss on her cheek which caused the corners of her lips to turn up into a smile.

She turned her head back to look at him with that smile, and he grinned right back. Gwen wiggled herself back into him even more as she let out a low chuckle, feeling his erection against her.

“Good morning to you _too_ ” she said lowly with a grin, as her hand reached back and lightly stroked his ass. Blake gave her a curious, but mischievous look. “Seriously though, Blake, you might think I’m stupid but that’s hot.”

Blake chuckled a little bit and planted a kiss on her neck as she turned her head back on the pillow. “What? My erection?”

Gwen’s eyes closed as she smiled, feeling him kiss her neck a few more times. “Mmhmm.”

“Have you never woken up to your —“

“—no, oh god, no,” She cut Blake off, absolutely not wanting him to finish that sentence once she realized what he was asking. “It was never like that.”

His hands moved across her body now, gently trailing along her stomach and sides as he planted a few more random kisses between her neck and cheek. She exhaled as she relaxed, suddenly squirming and squealing and pushing herself back closer into him when she felt him tickle her.

“Sorry,” he breathed quietly, his arm coming around her waist to rest again as he laid his head next to hers, and she could feel his breath against her neck.

“Please never be sorry for touching me,” Gwen said in a whisper. “Please.”

“Okay, I take it back then. Deal with it,” Blake said quite bluntly, as his hands went back to moving over her body again and he found the ticklish spot once more and brushed over it, causing her to jump and laugh in his arms. He chuckled a little bit and pulled her back close to him.

“I think that’s my favorite thing about us. I love how affectionate we are with one another,” she said as she smiled, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissing it before holding his arm around her there. “The small touches, kisses, teases…I realized it was something I was starving for when I was with my ex. He didn’t want to touch me. He slept far away from me and was always so critical. We barely even held hands.” Her eyes looked up to his at that moment to see him watching her speak, and she reached up and planted her lips on his, her hand cupping one of his cheeks. “I’m not afraid to touch you, and that’s a huge thing for me.”

He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her again, shifting so that she was now underneath him. His arms rested on each side of her, and both of her hands went to his cheeks as they kissed some more. He rolled off of her a bit, leaving one of his legs sprawled across her as his head went to the pillow beside her. She ran her hand through his hair and they both smiled at one another.

“I used to be afraid to touch Miranda,” Blake confessed, his hand running down the length of Gwen’s spine and resting on the small of her back. “She was the opposite of affectionate. She would always push me away, so I stopped trying. It hurt.”

“And it’s like, the only thing I ever want you to do,” Gwen said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “Because I’m serious, Blake, please never stop.” He tugged her forward with a grin, pulling her in for another kiss. 

“So…we survived Thanksgiving,” he said with a grin.

Gwen rolled her eyes as she thought about the day before. “That seriously should not have been so stressful,” she commented. “I felt so horrible for dragging you into that from the second I saw how my mom reacted to you at the door.”

“Come on, Gwen, it wasn’t that bad. I won them over. They all love me now!” She laughed a little and shook her head.

“You’re very proud of that,” Gwen mused. “I’m proud of you, too.”

“Did you really only move to Atlanta because of your job?”

Gwen’s face fell suddenly as she felt the question come at her from left field. She seemed to get lost in her own thoughts as she contemplated, and Blake began tracing circles along her back which brought her back to reality and her eyes to him. He realized the question shocked her more than he was expecting it to, and he started feeling bad.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No, I just —I haven’t told anyone this before.” She exhaled, and he placed a kiss on her forehead, encouraging her. 

“You picked up on that theme, hmm? My entire family was so pissed when I told them I was taking a job in Atlanta,” Gwen remembered back to that time, and the tension was almost as bad as her marriage had gotten. “None of them could understand why I was going. They were all upset and swore that they’d never get to see Apollo grow up, and at one time I was even accused of breaking the family up by being so selfish to go like that.” She felt a few tears prick in her eyes and she closed them as she continued. “I kept telling them what an amazing opportunity it was, how I was never going to get this chance again and this was the only path to doing what I wanted to do. Designing is impossible to get into, and this was the elusive step ladder I found to get to that place. I lied so well, that to this day I catch myself believing it was the only factor.”

Blake moved his hand up from her back to wipe away a fallen tear, and she smiled a bit as she opened her eyes to him again. “I wasn’t strong enough to stay. I ran away.” 

He opened his arm up to her and she turned towards him, laying on top of him a bit as her cheek went to his chest. Both of his arms were around her now as she clung tightly to him. “Everything just reminded me of him. It didn’t matter that I lived there my entire life, it was constant reminders everywhere and they were breaking me down. It’s funny, though, because when I’m with you out here, I don’t feel those things. I don’t remember when I’m with you like I used to.”

“Well…that’s something I’m really glad to hear, considering we’re staying for a bit longer,” he kissed the top of her head. “Don’t ever doubt your strength. You were strong enough to get away when you felt you needed to. You didn’t run. Don’t think like that.”

“It’s just hard because I do miss my family close sometimes, and that argument about me moving to Atlanta seemed to shake my family up. The relationship with them doesn’t feel the same after it.”

“Wasn’t yesterday the first time you saw them since you moved?”

“Yeah.”

“Baby, it’ll get easier. I promise you that. That, or…I could _really_ make them fall in love with me by convincing you to move back to LA.” He realized what he said as he felt Gwen’s body freeze and her gaze look up to him. “I mean eventually, in the future. Not today. I just think that the back and forth would kill us in the long-term. Not that it isn’t worth it, but god, Gwen, I hate saying goodbye to you.”

“You’ve been thinking about this a lot,” she said. “You’ve made me hate executive terminals at airports.”

They both giggled a bit at her comment and she moved up to push her lips against his. “One day,” she whispered. It was a quiet promise, her commitment that she would do anything to keep him in her life forever. 

Silence fell between them next as they stayed curled up together. His hand gently stroked her hair as her fingers traced circles on his sides. 

“So about today…” Blake began. “I got a text from one of my friends yesterday inviting us over to a small party, I guess is what it is. Just during the day, something to do to stay out of the Black Friday craziness. But only if you want to go.”

“You want me to meet your friends?” she said with a grin, looking up to him.

“Of course I do,” Blake grinned back. “But like I said, only if you want to…”

“I definitely do,” she said. “Who are your friends? Is this another famous people party?”

Blake chuckled, still thinking it sounded as adorable as the first time she used those words to describe events in his life. “I mean, Adam can be an asshole so please don’t inflate his ego, but I guess he could be what people would consider ‘famous’.”

It took her a moment, but she put a few things together in her head, and her eyes widened. “Adam? Adam Levine? We’re going to Adam Levine’s house?” Blake rolled his eyes playfully.

“Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re another one of his fans, this day is going to be unbearable if you are.”

Gwen giggled and snuggled closer to him, placing her lips on his as a wicked smile came across her face. “Adam Levine can’t make me scream like you can, Blake Shelton.”

“That’s probably true,” Blake conceded, a dimpled grin playing on his features. 

She leaned to the side, nibbling on his ear. “He can’t touch me like you can. And I’ve never been this wet in my entire life.”

“Are you trying to start something…?”

“Mmhmm. Come finish it, cowboy.”

——

A few hours later, Gwen and Blake were both up getting ready to head over to Adam’s. Gwen had chased a naked Apollo around the house when he decided he didn’t want to wear clothes that day as Blake chuckled, watching them from the kitchen as he drank coffee. In the end, he insisted that only his ‘Blakey’ was allowed to put clothes on him, and Gwen gave in just to end the battle. 

“Typical,” Gwen said, sitting back as she watched Blake effortlessly pull a shirt over Apollo’s head. “I do all the work and he just wants to listen to you.”

“Aww baby, I’m sorry,” Blake said, coming over and kissing her cheek once Apollo was dressed and running around the house again. 

“Stop it,” she said, turning to place a kiss on his lips quickly. “It’s important that he likes you.” He grinned, and grabbed the bag next to Gwen that she always brings along for Apollo.

“Let’s go, beautiful.”

Before she knew it, they were pulling up to a mansion not too terribly far away from where Blake lived. He buzzed the intercom and someone came up over it to let them in. The gates opened, and Gwen’s hand went to hold Blake’s.

“Isn’t he married to that Victoria’s Secret model?”

“Behati? Yeah, he is. And they just recently had a baby, a little girl named Dusty Rose.” His eyes looked over to her as she saw the mansion come into full view. “You’re still going to be the hottest one here, Gwen, model or not.” She rolled her eyes and laughed at him, jumping out of his truck. Blake grabbed Apollo from the back seat and soon they were on the doorstep, waiting for a response. 

“Blake!” a very excited Behati opened the door as she threw her arms around his neck. “It’s so good to see you!”

Blake hugged her back with one arm as he smiled, holding Apollo with his other. “Hi, Bee. It’s good to see you too.” He bounced Apollo up on his hip a bit and looked towards him. “Bee, this is Apollo. And…” his eyes turned back to Gwen as he smiled a little, taking her hand, “…this is my girlfriend, Gwen.”

The words were on repeat in her head. His girlfriend. It was the first time he had introduced her to someone like that, and god, she didn’t think it was ever going to get old. This is my girlfriend. Gwen. She squeezed his hand and smiled.

“Oh my god,” was all Bee said, taking Gwen’s arm and tugging her forward and spinning her to look at Blake. “Blake, Jesus Christ, she is drop dead gorgeous! How did you even get her to talk to you?”

Gwen laughed a bit nervously and shook her head. 

“I sent one of my roadies to kidnap her from the crowd. True story.” At that, the three of them laughed, and Behati started to tug Gwen inside. “Come on, party is just through here.”

“Blake’s here!” she called out to the house, as faint music could be heard in the background as they started moving closer. “Gwen, please make yourself at home. We have food for days, and drinks, cups, and ice are in that corner over there.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile, squeezing Blake’s hand as she looked up to him. 

“Blake, my man,” came a male voice, and Gwen turned to look and see that it was Adam walking over to them. She was a little stunned at first, as she had seen this man all over TV and magazines for years and there he was, just casually walking towards them. Sometimes she forgot about this part of Blake’s life. 

“Hey, and a little man,” Adam said as he ruffled Apollo’s curls and he grinned back at Adam. Apollo reached forward with his hand and Adam high fived it back which made him laugh. Adam gave Blake a bro hug and introduced Apollo and Gwen to him.

“Adam, as much as it pains me to say this, I’m afraid my girlfriend has a crush on you.”

“Oh my god!” Gwen started laughing. “No, I don’t! I mean, Adam, you’re really nice looking, but I only have eyes for one.” She moved and bent up to kiss Blake on the cheek. She appreciated Blake in his efforts to break the ice between her and his friends, and she was already starting to feel a bit more comfortable. 

Adam was laughing at their exchange, and eventually gave Gwen a quick hug and a smile. “It’s nice to meet you, finally. This one doesn’t shut up about you. He’s annoying like that.” 

“I don’t shut up about him either,” she said with a smile. 

Their conversation moved into the living room eventually, where Behati was holding a baby in her arms.

“Behati, she’s so beautiful,” Gwen said, as she instantly gravitated towards the two of them once she came into the room. Gwen kneeled down beside them as she smiled, watching the baby in her arms.

“Thank you, Gwen,” she said with a smile. “Did you want to hold her?”

“Are you sure?” she looked a little surprised, then smiled. Of course Blake’s friends were super sweet and trusting, just like he was.

Behati nodded as Gwen moved to sit beside her on the couch, and she handed Dusty Rose to her. Blake came and sat on the other side of Gwen and his arm went around her as he leaned in to also see the baby. Apollo crawled on Blake’s lap, completely uninterested in any of it. 

“I forgot how small they are,” she said quietly. Dusty Rose grabbed onto Gwen’s finger and squeezed it, and she couldn’t help but look to Blake and smile. Meanwhile, Blake was a bit beside himself as he watched Gwen hold the baby. Damn, for some reason seeing a baby in her arms just made her even that much more beautiful. It was an unfamiliar feeling, and one that really caught him off guard, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. 

It wasn’t soon before long that others began arriving, and a few others were begging to hold the baby. Gwen passed her off and sipped on the glass of wine Blake had brought for her as they relaxed in conversation with others. A few kids around Apollo’s age had shown up, and they were somewhere in the house playing together. She realized in that moment how easy all of this felt, how natural it was, despite the fact that she was basically at a celebrity mansion party with her famous boyfriend. That part didn’t seem to hit home with her just yet. 

She recognized a few others as they arrived, and soon she saw Pharrell come up to Blake and ask him to come help him with something outside in his car. Blake looked to Gwen, making sure she was going to be okay for a few minutes. 

“I’m fine, I promise, go help your friend,” she said sweetly. She was sitting on the couch alone now, with only Adam sitting in the room with her as the others had meandered off to other places.

“I like you. I didn’t want to like you as much as I do right off the bat,” Adam said to her, which caused Gwen to turn her attention to him. 

“I like you too?” she asked, almost a question, as she wasn’t sure where this was going. 

“I haven’t seen him this happy…well, since I’ve known him,” he began. “I just want to let you know that he probably wouldn’t be able to handle someone leaving him again, so I really hope that you love him. He got so bad after his divorce, he had to move in with me for a while. I just wanted to make sure you knew.”

It visibly broke her heart as Adam said those words to her, and he caught onto that. 

“I promise I haven’t cared about anyone like I care about him,” she responded. Adam smiled at that point.

“Good. Because I think you two make each other happy. It’s so obvious.”

“Thank you for taking care of him,” she said. “I know you’re his best friend, but that was a huge thing for you to do.”

“Blake has a huge heart. Sometimes he forgets to protect it on his own.”

Gwen heard the front door open and her attention went to see Blake and Pharrell coming back inside. They made their way over to the living room, Blake looking between Gwen and Adam.

“The best friend and the girlfriend talking to one another…am I in trouble?”

They laughed a little and Gwen reached up, tugging at him to sit down on the couch next to her. She went into his arms immediately and hugged him.

“Yep, you guys are one of those sticky sweet couples that get annoying really fast, aren’t you?” Adam said, standing up.

“Adam, you’re such a mood killer.” Blake rolled his eyes.

“But in all seriousness, I’m happy for you guys,” Adam offered. 

“Thanks, man,” Blake said as he kissed the top of Gwen’s head, soon tugging her to stand up with him. “I think it’s time for some more food, hmm?”

“Sounds perfect.”


	26. The Voice

__

_She was standing at the courthouse._

_She had Apollo standing next to her, holding her hand as they both looked at the large, white building. The next thing she knew, she was inside by herself, next to her lawyer. She didn’t know where Apollo had gone, but for some reason, it wasn’t her concern in that moment - she felt he was safe. The judge was sitting on the bench, and the moment he stepped in the room she felt his presence. She wouldn’t look at him. She couldn’t look at him. She would be the one getting arrested if she set off her rage after what he had done to her son._

_The judge was talking now. The lawyers were going back and forth, with things she only partially caught onto. The pounding of the gavel brought her attention immediately back to the front and one word she did hear, the one that made her stomach turn and gave her late night panic attacks - "DENIED!”_

_And then she saw it - a social worker with Apollo in her arms, walking towards Gavin. Handing Apollo to Gavin, as he turned to walk out of the courtroom doors. She started running towards them in a rage, crying, screaming, anything she could manage until a huge security guard grabbed her from behind and started pulling her away. All she could do was cry and scream as she watched Gavin walk off with Apollo in the distance…_

__

“Gwen…come on, sweetie, wake up…”

She jolted awake in a panic, tears rolling down her face as her head snapped to look at Blake. Instead of catching her breath, she jumped out of the bed, grabbed her robe, and her hand was on the door knob before she even realized what she was doing. She crossed the hall in one step and the door flung open to where she knew Apollo was, and her eyes fell on her peacefully sleeping boy. Gwen felt the panic rise in her as she sunk to her knees, her hands over her face as she quietly cried.

Blake had also gotten out of bed, pulling his robe on quickly though definitely not as fast as Gwen, and followed her. She cried for only a few moments before Blake was on the floor next to her, his hands resting on her shoulders.

“Shhh…” he whispered in her ear, his hand rubbing her back. His eyes went up to Apollo next, who moved a little in his sleep but didn’t wake up. “Gwen, he’s okay. He’s here, and he’s safe. He’s also going to be awake if he hears you. Come on.” 

He helped her stand up, but she was still leaning towards Apollo instead of the door. She dropped Blake's hand and walked to his bedside, hesitating before kissing the top of his forehead and swallowing a few tears. She moved her hand down to pull a pillow off of the bed meant to box him in, and gently crawled in bed with him and rested her arm across his little body. Apollo was still dead to the world through all of this, which was for the best as Gwen tried her best to contain her sniffling.

Blake sighed, as he watched Gwen slowly begin to calm down as she laid in the bed with Apollo. He walked to the bedside behind Gwen and sat down for a minute, keeping his eye on them. He hesitated, and a moment later he moved towards Gwen to lay next to her, his arm around her. When he settled, he felt tension in her body release, if only slightly.

“Gwen…” he said in a whisper into her ear. 

“I just need to be with him right now. You can go back to bed, I know you have work in the morning,” she whispered, careful not to wake Apollo. 

“This bed is big enough for the three of us,” he whispered back, placing a kiss on her cheek. “Bad dream?”

Gwen nodded. 

“Wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head in response. “I just can’t lose him, Blake. He’s my life.”

“You won’t.” He paused, as his hand moved to come to her back. “Try to relax, go back to sleep.” He gently rubbed her back, soothing her anxieties away as he watched her eventually close her eyes. When he was certain she had fallen asleep again, his arm moved back around to hold her, and he closed his eyes.

——

The next morning, her eyes opened and her arm moved a bit as she realized Apollo wasn’t next to her anymore. She turned and rolled over to look behind her, and saw a sight that made her heart melt. She smiled as her eyes locked with Blake’s before glancing down at a sleeping Apollo on his chest. 

Gwen sat up slightly and moved towards him, planting a long kiss on his lips. “You’re my hero, Blake Shelton.” He smiled down at her and opened his free arm, allowing her to cuddle up next to him. 

“When did he wake up?”

“About an hour ago, maybe two. He came right over when he saw me awake and wanted to lay with me.”

“Why were you awake?”

“Checking on you. Sometimes I like watching you sleep.”

“Noooooo,” she whispered with doubt in her voice. 

“You’re expressive when you sleep. I can usually tell when you’re dreaming. You’ll frown one moment, and then smile the next. It’s really cute.”

“That’s so embarrassing! Oh my god.”

“It’s endearing,” he corrected. 

“What time do we need to leave?” she asked.

Blake glanced at the clock, seeing it was just past eight. “Probably in about an hour. Is that ok? Did you still want to come?”

“Come to the set? Of course I do, baby, unless you don’t want us to.”

“I definitely want you to. I only have to shoot a few promos, and then we can get lunch. Sound good?”

“Sounds like a perfect day,” she said, looking up to him with a smile. 

——

The set of _The Voice_ was definitely unlike anything she had experienced before. It was odd to be on a mostly deserted TV soundstage and lot, as Gwen had been expecting a lot more hustle and bustle. Blake proudly took her hand once they came out of his truck and walked her around, giving her the grand tour as Apollo rested in his other arm and pointed to various things along the way, obviously excited at the new surroundings. He was introducing them to any and every person they ran into, even random crew members who he hadn’t really talked to before. Gwen felt herself grinning the entire time as she was amused over how adorable her boyfriend was being.

Boyfriend. Damn, it didn’t seem like she was ever going to get used to that. 

“Cowboy, do you even know all of these people?” Gwen whispered, coming to his side and slipping her arm around his back with a giggle. 

“Well, yes. Kind of. Most of them,” he responded with a shrug and a grin. “I told you that you were getting the grand tour, and this is it!”

“You’re so crazy,” she said with a laugh as she hugged him a little as they continued walking. 

“Crazy is worth it if I have you smilin’ again, darlin’.”

Her eyes went up to his and she swore she was close to feeling tears welling in her eyes as she looked at him, completely touched. “Blake…” she said in a whisper.

“Hmm?”

She shook her head and looked away from him in that moment, as she knew she was prone to getting emotional over this and instead just hugged him around his waist. “Nothing. I love you.”

“I love you too, Gwen.”

“Blakey love Pollo!” Apollo said suddenly as he bounced once in Blake’s arms. It was more of a demand instead of a question, which caused them both to laugh.

“Of course, little man. Blakey definitely loves Apollo.” Blake pecked him on the cheek and he giggled.

“Blake, we’re almost ready for you inside,” someone official called from the stage door. 

“Come on little guy,” Gwen said, holding her hands up to Apollo as she took him from Blake’s arms. “Should we go wait for you back in your trailer?”

“Nah, you guys can come along and watch, they won’t mind. You just have to promise not to laugh.”

“I definitely can’t promise that,” she said, teasing him.

They both made their way in through the door and they immediately saw all of the other coaches as well as Carson standing off stage. 

“Hey man,” Blake said high-fiving Adam as they came over, and the Pharrell once he saw they had joined them. Blake started making small talk with Carson as Adam and Pharrell both came over to hug Gwen.

“Good to see you again,” Adam said with a smile, before putting his hand in the air for Apollo to high five it again. 

“You too,” she said a bit shyly, with a small smile. It amazed her how open and loving his friends were and it still kind of took her by surprise. She felt like this was one of his families, and she felt so lucky that she had already gotten the invitation to join. Plus, the fact that his friends were famous still felt kind of new to her. 

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my time off was, Blake?” 

Gwen’s ears perked up at the obviously female voice in the sea of males and her eyes rested on none other than Christina. The moment she saw her felt unreal, as she was another person Gwen had seen grace the radio and covers of magazines for years. It was weird to be so close to her in casual conversation, but then again, it still felt like that with most of Blake’s friends. She didn’t pay much attention at first until the blonde came over to Blake, boobs practically pushed up to her nose, as she slipped her arms around him in a hug, lingering just a little longer than Gwen felt was socially acceptable.

“There’s a reason Christina wasn’t invited to the party yesterday,” Pharrell mumbled into Gwen’s ear. From the scene in front of her, she had a few guesses as to why that was. 

“Oh, uh, yeah…hi Christina, how was your time off?” Blake mumbled. Her arms were still around him which Gwen thought was weird, and before she knew it her feet were moving towards the awkward situation as Blake flashed her a look, desperate for her help and an out.

“Blake, honey, can you do that thing to my shoulder that you did a little bit ago? It’s feeling tight again and you’re the only one that’s ever been able to fix it,” Gwen lied as she raised her eyebrow, and Blake took a step towards her which caused Christina to loosen her grip.

“Of course, what did I tell you about carrying Apollo so much? I told you to rest your arm, baby,” he played along, thinking back to their previous conversation when Gwen actually had hurt her shoulder that one time. Adam, Carson, and Pharrell were standing off to the side and watching Gwen, amused, as Christina suddenly looked like she didn’t know quite what to do. Blake’s hands went to her shoulder and gently massaged, Gwen bit her lip and pretended it hurt as he worked the imaginary knot out. She put on a few theatrics and turned around, pushing onto her toes and kissing him briefly on the lips. “Thank you,” she said.

“No, seriously, thank _you_ ,” he mumbled back so only she could hear, his eyes flashing to look at Christina before looking back down at Gwen. He kissed the top of her forehead and his arm went around her waist. “Christina, have you met my girlfriend, Gwen? And this is her son, little Apollo.”

“How…lovely,” she responded. 

“Okay guys, let’s get everyone up on the stage and we’ll start recording these promos,” someone else official came along, and Adam, Pharrell, Blake, and Christina made their way onto the stage. 

Recording the promos turned out to be a lot more entertaining than Gwen had realized. The coaches were messing up their lines, laughing and dropping things, and the camera guy generally looked as if he wanted to off himself because of it. Gwen couldn’t help but watch from the sidelines as she was laughing along with them, holding Apollo in front of her by the shoulders as he swayed back and forth against her. 

“Okay, Blake, here’s your line, just come up to that first mark and deliver it right into the camera.”

Blake moved up to the front marker as he looked into the camera, finding the spot he was supposed to be looking, but he couldn’t help it. A bit of blonde hair off to the side caught his attention, and his eyes went to Gwen as they locked on hers. She stared back at him, the corners of her lips turning up into a small smile. His eyes glanced down to Apollo meandering next to her briefly, then back up to her. He was stuck on her. He started thinking just how amazing she was and what she had been through, how badly she was hurt and made to feel insecure and she had survived it. How this whirlwind of a romance had hit both of them like a freight train and he couldn’t imagine his life without her. He thought back to Gwen holding that baby and god, he didn’t know why that image stuck so vividly in his head, but it did. His mind flashed to various images of him just getting to hold her, tease her, fuck her, and damn - those yoga pants that left nothing to the imagination. And god, he must have been staring at her as he recognized the redness forming on her cheeks in that moment as she blushed at him. 

“Earth to Blake? Helloooo?” Adam said as he whistled, trying to get Blake’s attention from behind him. 

“What?” he looked back, seeing that everyone was staring at him. 

“Your line, Blake. Pretty sure America doesn’t want to watch a commercial of you staring at Gwen,” Adam remarked.

“Shut up, dude.” Blake shook his head and looked down to the paper again to refresh his memory on the line, and looked up into the camera.

“What team do you think…” he got out of his mouth, before his mind went blank and back to Gwen in those yoga pants.

“Blake, seriously, it’s not that hard, man,” Adam said again.

“I’m a singer, you loser, I’m not a spokesmodel,” Blake said. Gwen started giggling a little and his attention went back to her in that moment.

“I understand you want to bone your girlfriend over there but come on, man, get this line done and let’s get out of here for lunch.”

Gwen’s eyes widened a bit as she heard Adam, and she glanced to the side of her and pointed to the stage door, indicating that she was going to step outside with Apollo. Once she did, Blake let out a sigh, looked back to the camera, and delivered the line perfectly now that there weren’t any distractions present.

——

Twenty minutes later, Gwen was standing by the sound stage door with Apollo as the coaches began to emerge, one by one. Once a particular cowboy came through the door she reached out and tugged him over to her. Her toes pressed up and her lips went on his immediately.

“You get ahold of yourself after I left?” she teased, speaking lowly in his ear.

“Mmm…barely,” Blake said, rolling his eyes. “I’m so glad that’s over. I hate promos.”

“I can tell,” she said, resting her hands on his hips and massaging them a little with her thumbs. 

“Do you want to go grab some lunch?”

“Yeah. Apollo is starting to get hungry-fussy, so that’s probably a good idea.” Blake bent down and suddenly scooped Apollo up in his arms, leading Gwen back to his truck at the end of the lot.

About ten minutes later, they pulled over to a valet station on a busy street downtown after deciding on a place for lunch. Gwen climbed out of the passenger seat and went to the back as she began to unbuckle Apollo from his carseat, Blake coming around to their side to be with them. He took Apollo in his arms and they began to walk down the sidewalk together. A few cameras came running up to them and Gwen was startled, letting out a gasp as she immediately drew closer to Blake and her hand grabbed his flannel shirt. His arm went around her and his hand rested on her hip as he bent down to whisper in her ear.

“S’okay, I’ve got you.”

He felt her body was tense as the paparazzi snapped their pictures, and one even seemed to be videotaping them walking down the sidewalk. Blake couldn’t help but sigh, knowing that Gwen hated being in the spotlight like this. He felt so bad that she had to put up with feeling stressed whenever something like this happened. He gently moved his hand on her side, trying to comfort her as they made it to the restaurant door and inside.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly, as they stood to the side to wait for the hostess to return.

“Sorry? For what?”

“I know you don’t like the cameras and the attention…just…I’m sorry.”

“The cameras and attention just frighten me. I’m not used to it like you are. And it puts me on edge when we have Apollo with us.” She was being honest, and he was thankful that she was able to talk about it instead of bury it away. “Baby, it’s not your fault. I don’t blame you for it. It’s something I just have to learn to get used to. And if that means I get to kiss you for the rest of my life, then it’s worth it.” 

She saw a grin come to his face as he placed a kiss on top of her forehead, and they were led to their seats.

“Besides, I know you’ll take care of us.”

If only leaving had been as easy as their arrival.

Apparently, word had gotten out in the paparazzi world that they were there, and suddenly the sidewalk in front of the restaurant was bustling with more cameras. Considering their relationship was the talk of the town and they hadn’t gone on record to say anything outside of the fact that they were dating, it shouldn’t have surprised her, but then again, it did. She didn’t understand why it was such a huge deal, or really why these people were so interested in bombarding her with questions. The moment the three of them emerged to head back to the valet, she was instantly regretting letting Blake take them out in public like this.

She had a mental flashback to when they left the hotel in Kentucky. The reporters were loud, the camera flashes were going off, and five different people were shouting her name. Blake took the lead and held Apollo close against his chest as his hand gripped Gwen tightly, pulling her along behind him as they made their way to the car. Suddenly he felt Gwen tug away from him and lose his hand, and his head snapped back around to see that one of the reporters was _physically_ pulling her arm and trying to ask her questions.

Something deep inside of him set off and he pushed back through the few people he had passed to get back to Gwen. She was trying to pull herself away from this guy, and he was just persistent. 

“Back the hell off!” Blake said angrily, using his free hand to shove the reporter off of her. Blake grabbed her shoulder immediately and his arm went around her, continuing to walk them through the crowd and into the truck. 

“If anyone else wants to try to touch her like that, I will punch you in the damn face,” he warned. Blake got her into the front seat and went to the backseat to buckle Apollo in before coming around to the valet, tipped him, and got in the car and drove off, barely putting his own seatbelt on.

They drove for a few minutes in silence. He looked over at her a few times, tentatively, as she stared out the window. The silence was killing him, and he reached over for her hand and squeezed it gently.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she responded quietly. 

“Gwen, look at me,” he said, pulling up to a stoplight. She turned her gaze to him, looking a little shaken, but generally fine. 

“I’m okay, I promise. I love you.” She kissed the top of his hand holding hers. “I love you so much, Blake. I really do.”

“I love you too,” he said, then paused. “But you’d tell me if you weren’t okay, right?”

“I promise I would talk to you if I wasn’t,” she said. “I’m just a little startled. That’s all. I just want to go home and spend more time with you…not in public. Is that okay?”

“Home? Like, Georgia?”

“No…I meant your house.” 

He smiled a bit as her words sunk in. “Of course that’s okay. I couldn’t think of anything better."


	27. Blowback

He had driven them straight home. Away from the madness, back into their quiet oasis where the reporters and tabloids weren’t a part of their lives. A place where they didn’t matter anymore.

Apollo had fallen asleep in the car, and he was trying to desperately to open his eyes and keep them open as Gwen carried him inside. She walked him into what was becoming his bedroom and laid him down, gently stroking over his back as she helped him fall asleep again for a nap. She gently kissed his forehead and tip-toed to the door, closing it gently behind her. 

She made her way back downstairs to the living room, her eyes falling on a tall cowboy facing away from her on the couch. A surge went through her body in that moment, and she was almost thrown off guard. Gwen knew there was something different about her lately, her sex drive with this man was off the charts and that was scaring the hell out of her. It was scary, but so exhilarating at the same time. Never in her life had she felt this strongly about someone or this much of a desire to sleep with someone, and she didn’t quite know what to do with it. She just knew that she wanted it, all the time, lately, especially when he he was so attentive and loving towards her. Especially when he got overly protective, and it just completely turned something on inside of her.

“I can feel your eyes burnin’ a hole in the back of my head, darlin’,” Blake said suddenly, which startled her out of her thoughts. 

She moved forward then, coming around the couch in front of him as she let one of her legs slide across his lap, straddling him, as her hands rested on his shoulders. His hands moved around her waist, resting on the small of her back.

“What’s on your mind?” he whispered, catching her eyes with his.

She leaned forward and kissed him softly. “You.”

“What about me?” his breath came against her neck, and she found her body shifting slightly to move closer to him.

“How badly I want you right now,” her voice came low, and sweet. “How much you really turned me on when you threatened to punch that guy.” A small smirk came over her face and he grinned at her in return, his hands slowly moving down to rest on her ass. “How much tension I feel in my body that just wants to release…” She bit her lip, her eyes coming back to lock on his.

His hands began to massage into her, moving up to her back again to continue. Her eyes closed as he continued.

“Mmmm…” she said, as her lips brushed his cheek. “Not quite the method I had in mind.”

Her arms reached up as she tugged and pulled her shirt over her head, stretching and putting her curves on full display for him, leaving herself covered in only a small, black lace bra before her hands came back to rest on his shoulders. His arms tightened around her and pulled her closer, and she bent forward slightly and nibbled at his bottom lip. That frustrated him, though, and soon his push his lips onto hers instead. 

“Blake Shelton, you’ve ruined me,” she whispered in between kisses. 

“Ruined you? I’ve done no such thing.” Another kiss.

“Literally all I can think about, all day, is you inside of me.” She moved to grind her hips down against him as she kissed him again. Blake quietly groaned as his hands tightened around her body, pulling her down harder against his growing erection. 

“Never, in my entire life, have I wanted this much sex,” she said, breathlessly. She kissed him deeply then. “You have no idea how turned on I am by you, like, all the time.”

“Something tells me I can stretch my imagination,” he teased, knowing full well that she had an inkling getting to touch Gwen was just about all that was ever on _his_ mind. He kissed her again, and her hands went down to his jeans.

“Let’s get these off of you. I’m in the mood to ride a cowboy.”

——

They say third time’s the charm, but all three orgasms she had managed to give him that afternoon were definitely more than charming - they were erotic, yet sweet at the same time. The orgasms he had given her right back had done a lot more than just release the tension in her body - they made her feel safe, in a weird way, as she found herself screaming his name after being given permission to fall apart on top of him. She had decided right then and there - if ever given the opportunity to hole herself up alone with this man for any length of time, she was going to embrace it. 

Lazily, they tugged their clothes back on and stayed cuddled up with one another on the couch as they switched off between dozing and light conversation. Her head was against his chest with her eyes closed as she concentrated on his heartbeat - the vibrations of his voice against her, and the path his thumb was tracing along her back underneath her shirt. 

“You know Blake…I was being serious earlier. I’ve never been this horny in my entire life.”

He chuckled a little at her comment and just shook her head.

“Blake!” she playfully hit him lightly, making a pouty face at him. “I can’t believe you’re laughing at me.”

“Oh darlin’, I’m not laughing at you, I promise,” Blake said right before kissing her softly. “I just have a hard time believing that’s true.”

“Well…it is,” she responded quietly. “And it’s because of you.”

Her words seemed a little off in the conversation, which caused Blake to look down to her a bit, searching for a response of any kind on her face. He nudged at her as she came back to life, drawing her attention up to him.

“Where’d you go just then?”

“Dark place. One that doesn’t matter.”

“Course it matters.”

“I know this might sound crazy, but I’ve never been loved like I have with you. I spent a lot of time even questioning if my ex loved me. So when I’m with you and I just know, like, a hundred percent of the time how you feel about me…well, apparently we’ve found out that it makes me horny.” She played it off at the end a bit with a giggle, as she snuggled a little more into him.

Before he was able to respond, Gwen’s phone started going off on the side coffee table, and she peeled herself away to look at the screen. Seeing the name flash across the screen, she quickly jumped up and grabbed it, turning to Blake as she started walking out of the room.

“I have to take this it’s my attorney,” she stumbled out quickly, her playful demeanor was suddenly gone and replaced by a tense, nervous one as she dipped into one of the spare bedrooms and shut the door. 

Blake gave her a reassuring nod right before she disappeared out of view, and let out a sigh. He stood up, and found himself suddenly pacing, picking up on the nervousness that suddenly filled the room. His hand went through his curls as he walked up the stairs to check on Apollo, who was still peacefully sleeping. Anything to let him move his legs, anything to help ease the waiting game that he suddenly found himself in on Gwen’s behalf. He knew she needed to take the call privately, but damn, what was taking so long? 

His eyes went to the clock and he realized twenty minutes had passed. Then twenty five, then nearly thirty. He was getting worried, and he couldn’t hear anything from the room she was in. Finally, at the thirty five minute mark, he found the courage to put his hand on the doorknob. If she was still talking, he would just close the door and leave, no big deal. But he didn’t think that was the case. Something just didn’t feel right. 

Slowly, he turned the knob and hesitated as the door opened an inch, then another. He noticed the room was silent, which meant if she was on the phone, she wasn’t the one doing the talking. But a few more inches and he realized that she wasn’t on the phone anymore; her phone was laying on the ground. A few more inches, and he saw Gwen sitting on the ground next to it, her back turned and hunched over into her hands.

“Gwen?” he asked softly, feeling brave enough to come into the room now. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t move, she just stayed still. Mannequin-level still. “Baby, what happened?” He took another few steps towards her and slowly lowered himself to the ground next to her, letting his hand rest gently on her back.

She was processing something, he could tell. But the panic was rising on his end and he almost couldn’t bear it any longer. 

“You’re scaring me,” he said quietly. At those words, the air left her lungs as she tried to catch herself from letting a sob escape. Her breathing quickened suddenly, almost as if she was trying to catch her breath. Her body tensed, and her hand went out to grab his arm.

“I need a drink. I need to calm down. I can’t handle this.” Her words were stable, but forcibly harsh. Her hand tightened grip on him, and his hand went to her chin to pull her gaze up to him. He was met with a flood of emotions then - anger, sadness, confusion, and most of all, she just looked defeated. 

“I’m not gonna let you do that,” he said quietly. “I’ve done my fair share of alcohol therapy, and Gwen - you’re just going to feel worse than you already do, trust me.” He paused, watching her for a moment. “Talk to me. Cry if you need to. Let it out. You’re holding it in, why, I don’t know, but it looks painful.”

It was only a moment later that her face wrinkled a bit before it broke, burying completely into his chest as she tried to muffle her sobs against him. His arms went around her to hold her against him, pulling her into his lap as they sat on the carpet. 

She cried until she physically couldn’t anymore. Gwen didn’t even realize when she had stopped, but she knew they had been sitting in silence for quite some time. Her face was stone cold, her voice even more so as she finally began to speak.

“We lost the preliminary hearing,” she began. “It should have been a slam dunk considering everything that has happened, but somehow Gavin posted bail and got out of jail already, so he actually showed up to fight it. The judge wasn’t comfortable denying him rights so quickly without more investigation and a real hearing, so we lost. And the nightmare continues.” She barely paused, before continuing. “That’s not even the most horrible part. The most horrible part of all of this is that the judge ordered immediate supervised visitation for him before I go back to Atlanta, which means…” the words caught in her throat, she was unable to even get the words out at this point as her face began to break again and his arms went around her tighter.

“I have to take Apollo to see him tomorrow."

“I’m going with you,” Blake said immediately, not willing to compromise on his position.

——

She didn’t sleep at all. Of course she didn’t - she knew she wouldn’t. Blake watched her work herself up into a tense ball of nerves set to explode at any moment, and all he could do was try his best to be there for her. Talk to her if she needed that. Hold her to calm her, love on her with small touches and kisses to redirect her thoughts if only for a moment. Once Apollo had woken up, she hadn’t let him out of her sight. It was to the point where around eight or so when she was going to put him to bed, her sad eyes wandered up to Blake instead and asked if it was okay for Apollo to sleep with them that night in their bed, or she could go sleep with him in his room because she literally did not want to be apart from him. Of course Blake immediately put his arms around her and told her the toddler would be sleeping with them, and that was that. 

Gwen tried her best to be still that night, she really did, but she was fidgety. When she couldn’t sleep, she fidgeted to get all of the nervous energy out of her, and she knew that was bothering Blake. He wasn’t saying anything, but she had just felt so guilty - he was trying to sleep, and her body wasn’t letting him. Occasionally he’d reach over to her, slowly caressing her arm or her back which helped for a little bit until it stopped as he dozed off. And she was back to fidgeting. 

The morning was a blur, and Blake was surprised when Gwen was up at 7 in the morning and in the shower as him and Apollo were still resting in the bed. He heard her shower first thing, then she came out and must have gotten to work getting ready. His eyes registered the clock at 7:30 before his eyes shut. They opened again to the clock reading 9:15. He stirred a bit, careful not to wake Apollo as he stood up, rubbed his eyes and headed towards the master bath. He stopped in the doorframe when he came to the realization that Gwen was still in front of the vanity, staring at herself in the mirror. Her hand was resting on her stomach as she inhaled deeply, holding it before letting it out.

“Baby, what have you been doing?” he let out a yawn, as he leaned against the door frame.

“Getting ready,” she said, as if it was the most normal answer. 

“Gwen, you got in the shower over two hours ago and haven’t left this bathroom.”

“Yes I did. I went and grabbed all of these clothes.”

It was then that he noticed it - her hair was freshly conditioned, pulled straight and styled to literal perfection. Her make-up was fully done, more so than she had ever done it around him before for just a normal day. And she had fifty articles of clothing hanging over various things around the master bath. It looked like a war zone.

Gwen sighed then, frustrated, as she tugged the shirt she was wearing over her head and tossed it on the ground. She reached for another one, and that’s when Blake’s hand went out to her wrist.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he said softly. She didn’t look at him.

“I’m just trying to do everything I can to make this easier,” she said quietly.

He pulled her towards him a bit, taking both of her hands into his. “Tell me what you mean.”

Her eyes were still avoiding him. “I’m just trying to minimize the mind games.” She paused, and quietly added. “If I make an effort, maybe he just won’t say anything. I just don’t want him to say anything.”

It clicked a moment later as to what she was talking about. She had talked in length about how Gavin was with her when it came to her appearance; he demanded perfection, and anything less she got talked down for. He knew this low life had really fucked with her head, and it hadn’t really hit him how much until now. 

“He doesn’t control you anymore,” Blake whispered, reaching behind her back to pull her up against his chest. She pushed her lips together hard, trying to avoid tears, trying to keep her make up on that she had spent so much time tweaking and perfecting. 

“I’m just trying to make this easier,” she repeated in a whisper, pulling away slightly and forcing herself to reach back out to grab a different shirt. She pulled it over her head and her eyes went to herself in the mirror - her hand over her stomach as she stared, inhaling then exhaling, just like before. Blake pushed himself off the wall and came behind her, resting his hands on her shoulders as he looked to the mirror, catching her eyes.

“It’s not worth all of this, darlin’,” he said, gently massaging her shoulders a little. “Come on. You don’t need to be doing this to yourself. And you literally look so beautiful.” He kissed her on the top of her head and she sighed.

“It’s not like the clothes are going to help when they’re not even the problem.”

“What do you think the problem is?”

“Nothing,” she said sharply, running a hand over her hair as she moved out of his grasp and back into the bedroom. 

The entire morning felt that level of tense as Gwen got Apollo ready and packed up. Blake changed into jeans and a flannel and tried to help, but Gwen was hyper focused and he just let her do her thing. They were walking towards the door and she stopped suddenly in the door frame as she felt her breath catch in her throat. Her hand reached to him by her side and she grabbed his shirt by the fistful as she tried to keep herself composed. 

“I love you,” was all she said, keeping herself frozen in place as she looked into the driveway at Blake’s truck. 

“I love you, too. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured her, pulling her towards him and placing his lips on hers. She melted against him and let her forehead rest against his chest. 

“I’m sorry I’ve been tense. I don’t mean to be.”

“I’m not taking it personally, darlin’. This is stressful,” he said, before pausing. “But I want you to try and remember how strong you are, ok? You’re going to be alright.”

She nodded, and her hand fell down next to his and took it in hers as they walked towards the truck. 

About twenty minutes later, Blake pulled up to the park they had agreed to meet at. He got Apollo out of the truck and into his arms, his other arm wrapped securely around Gwen as they walked down one of the concrete paths in silence. Her grip tightened on Blake when she saw Gavin just ahead of them.

“I’m sorry for anything that is about to happen,” she whispered, letting out a breath as Gavin approached the three of them. Blake set Apollo down on the ground to stand on his own, his hand still holding onto the toddler’s as he braced himself for what was to come.

“Awww…look how adorable this is, you’ve brought the new boyfriend with you, love,” Gavin sneered in greeting, and she flinched just hearing his voice. Blake cringed at the British accent as it met his ears. “Or…well, really, is he your boyfriend? Or is he some poor schmuck you convinced to pay for everything?” He paused. "Guess being a single parent has allowed you to convince yourself it was okay to let yourself go, too.”

She was taking his insults as they came, one by one, and mentally willing herself not to engage. Blake wasn’t so self-controlled though, as he immediately felt the need to step in.

“Hey. You wanted to see your kid, you don’t get to stand there and rip her apart,” he said adamantly. “That stops _now_. How dare you.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. Gwen was surprised that was the extent of his reaction, maybe it was because Blake was a lot bigger than him and could have taken him. Whatever it was, she was grateful for it. Gavin crouched down closer to the toddler’s level. “Apollo, come here, buddy,” he said, opening his arms for him.

Apollo took a step back and grabbed onto Blake’s jeans as tight as he could shaking his head, wanting nothing to do with him. 

“I can’t fucking believe you, Gwen,” he said suddenly, getting angry as he stood up. Now it was Gwen’s turn to grab onto Blake’s shirt behind his back as tight as she could as he took a step forward. “I can’t believe you brainwashed him into hating me. Worthless whore. Who do you think you are?!”

“Gavin, final warning. The insults and threats stop now or we’re leaving, I’m damn serious,” Blake cut in again, realizing that Gwen was struggling to stand up to him. He must have encouraged her on some level, because she finally spoke up on her own.

“He’s two years old, Gavin, and he’s barely seen you in the past year. He probably barely remembers you, and what he does remember is that time his dad got arrested for drugs and strangers took him to the hospital. I’m not surprised!” She found her fight. And now she was just praying she could keep it up long enough to get through this conversation. 

“God Gwen, whatever, you’re so fucking dramatic, as always,” he spat. He bent down again, opening his arms to Apollo and motioning him to come forward, but he wouldn’t. He rolled his eyes again and stood up.

“It’s not like I ever wanted a fucking kid as a burden anyways,” he mumbled.

“Wh…what?” Gwen managed.

“You heard me,” he shot back.

“That’s not what you told me when you proposed,” she said, shaking her head. “You said you wanted kids. You said you wanted kids with me. And…and I gave you one. A really great kid. And now you’re saying…you don’t even want him?” She was shocked, and tears were pricking in her eyes.

“Oh here we go, another episode of _Gwen starts crying_ ,” he mumbled.

“If you don’t want him, why are you fighting custody? Why won’t you just let us get on with our lives without you?”

“Love, you know I’m drawing this custody battle out just to fuck with you one last time, right? I don’t really give a damn what happens, but this is your punishment for leaving.” A sly smile came across his face then. “Just imagine if I win half custody. You’ll be seeing me the rest of your life.”

“I’m ending this, now,” Blake said, reaching down to scoop up Apollo in his arms and putting his hand around an upset Gwen, as he turned her to walk away with him. He heard Gavin chuckling in the background, growing fainter as they got further away from him. Blake buckled Apollo into his seat and closed the door, his eyes falling on Gwen with her back leaning against the truck, this shocked, stunned, and upset mixture of emotion on her face. Blake pulled out his phone from his pocket and placed it into her hands.

“Give this to your lawyer,” he said quietly, a small smile coming on his face. Gwen’s eyes focused on his as she gave him a confused look, and glanced down at the phone. She pushed the home screen button and her phone came up to voice memos. She hit the play button, and her eyes widened as she realized what she was hearing.

“Blake…you…” she gasped, her hand going over her mouth and looking up to him. “Blake, you recorded it?!”

“The whole thing,” he said with a smile. “That could help, right?”

“Oh my god,” was all she said, as her arms wrapped up around his neck and her face went into his chest. A few tears fell down her cheeks when she pulled back to look at him. “I don’t know what these tears are for, because I just want to cry after seeing him, but I’m so happy that you were so smart and recorded that and — and — I’m just overwhelmed.” She let out a breath. 

“I had to do something,” Blake said. “I had to make sure all of this just wasn’t some horrible memory that you were forced to have. I wanted to make it count for something.”

She pressed up on her toes and her lips found his. He felt her relax a little as her arms went around his midsection, holding him tight. And man, she never wanted to let him go.


	28. Bring Me Back

It had put a damper on the day, but she was trying not to let him ruin it completely.

Key word - trying.

Seeing Gavin again after all this time sent her into a tailspin of emotions and thoughts, and frankly she felt like she was back at that place of anything reminding him of her in some way. They drove past his favorite Italian restaurant where they had spent their first few anniversaries together when their relationship felt closer to love than what it had become. They passed by the medical plaza that she had visited when she first found out she was pregnant with Apollo and she sat in the car for three hours in tears, agonizing over if Gavin would have even been happy with the news at that point in their relationship. Hell, she saw a palm tree on the side of the road and those always reminded her of Gavin’s bachelor pad when they were dating - he had inherited the decorations and all she remembered about that place was this ridiculous palm tree wallpaper that was enough of a reason to break up with him if it had been his idea, but thankfully it hadn’t been. 

Then again, maybe she wished Gavin had bad enough taste to buy palm tree wallpaper. Maybe it would have saved her some heartache. 

Her eyes looked back at Apollo in the rearview mirror. He seemed fine, but she could tell that something was off. He seemed confused, or even a little sad, and he didn’t seem to know what to do with those emotions. Gwen swallowed, feeling the guilt surface. She knew on a conceptual level that not everything was her fault when it came to him, but god, she felt like it was. She felt Blake’s hand take hers and squeeze it, which brought her eyes and attention over to him the next moment.

“We have the rest of the day to ourselves…what do you want to do?”

Her eyes went back to Apollo, then back to Blake. She just wanted to try and erase this day from his memory, and she really only knew one thing that might work. “Can we take him to the aquarium?” 

A small smile formed on Blake’s lips as he pulled her hand up and kissed it. “You’re an amazing mom, Gwen.”

“Just a mom that needs to make up for this morning.” She slumped back in her seat a bit and her eyes wandered out the window. 

The aquarium did all of them some good. Apollo was thrilled as he ran from exhibit to exhibit, still clearly fascinated with the different fish and animals he saw as his little nose pressed up to the glass as he stared. Blake’s arm went around Gwen as they walked behind him, her arms around his midsection in an attempt to just take all of him in. That specific scent he carried - that mixture of laundry detergent and light cologne - seemed to be the thing that brought her back to earth. It was the thing that she needed that day more than ever; the thing that calmed her instantly and just reminded her that she was home. She even managed to smile at a few points which made Blake relax a little bit. He was worrying about both of them and it was calming for him to see that they were just trying to make the most of their time together. 

After grabbing a quick dinner to go (Gwen didn’t want to risk the cameras showing up again), they headed home. They ate together at the dining room table, like a real family would, and there was just something about it that warmed her heart. Gavin almost never ate dinner with them like that, but with Blake it felt like the most normal thing ever. Even when Apollo didn’t want to eat his vegetables, Blake somehow convinced him to when Gwen couldn’t. He was amazing like that. 

Before she knew it, the day was mostly over and Apollo was sound asleep in his bed. Gwen made her way into the bedroom, where she saw Blake with his tablet on the bed, checking e-mails or something. She walked into the closet and peeled her clothes off, tugging one of his oversized flannel shirts over her head and holding it tight against her body. She emerged a moment later, walking over to the edge of the bed on her side as she seemed to hesitate. Blake moved to set his tablet on the nightstand and his attention went to her, noticing that she seemed lost in her own world.

“Everything ok?”

“Huh?” her attention snapped up to him. “Yeah.” She pulled the duvet back enough to crawl under it and she laid on her back, her gaze going to the ceiling. The slight change in routine surprised him, and he kept his gaze watching her. Normally when she got into bed with him she would come right over to him, and he suddenly found himself missing her in his arms. 

He shifted towards Gwen to lay next to her on his side, and her attention came off the ceiling and back to him. Blake placed a kiss on her forehead and she closed her eyes. She felt so conflicted in that moment. She sincerely loved this kind, amazing man laying next to her but she also felt herself spiraling. Hesitating. She knew Gavin had gotten to her again, he was so good at doing that, and she was mentally battling herself trying to separate the two. She felt her anxieties rising as she willed herself to think of a way to calm them. 

_Kiss him._

She turned slightly and pressed her lips against his. He smiled a bit through his return kiss, his hand moving under her shirt and across her stomach to eventually rest on her hip, but his hand wasn’t even halfway across before her entire body tensed up and she pulled his hand off of her. They stared at each other for a minute - Blake in a state of confused shock, and Gwen avoiding his eyes as she swallowed hard.

She was waiting for him to shift away from her and leave the bed, but it never came. Instead, Blake sat up and leaned back against the headboard. She waited a minute before she did the same.

_Kiss him._

Gwen turned and moved to sit on top of his lap, facing him. Blake looked at her, still a bit confused as she leaned forward to kiss him again. He hesitated, feeling something was still really off but kissed her back. His hands came around her and gently rested on the top of her thighs, thinking maybe this was a safer place, but a few moments like that and he felt her tense again. She continued to kiss him, trying to discreetly interlace their fingers together to take his hands off of her again, holding them back against the headboard. He realized what was happening and pulled back.

“Stop,” he whispered, turning her hands in his to hold them as he brought them to rest in between them. “Something’s wrong. Talk to me.”

“I’m fine.”

“Why are you suddenly jumpin’ out of your skin when I touch you?”

The straightforward question was enough to make her squirm and she pulled her hands out of his and made a move to shift off of him, but his hands went to hold onto her waist instead. She flinched on reflex.

“That. Right there. Come on, Gwen, please talk to me.”

“I just…I just ate all of that bread at dinner and…” she shook her head. “And…he was right.” The last three words came out in a whisper as she closed her eyes. “I don’t deserve this. I let myself go.”

He was starting to put two and two together. The way she was weirdly obsessed and took three hours that morning to get ready before seeing him. How she was vague, saying that she was just trying to ‘make it easier’. And then he did actually try and rip into her about her appearance when they met, and he knew what she had told him about how obsessed Gavin was with her vanity perfection. There was something about Gavin that triggered this in her, and all he knew was that he had to tread carefully. 

"I know you never say anything to me like he does but I'm so scared that you might start." She let out a shaky breath. "And then you won't want me anymore. And I'll be alone again."

Blake was a little stunned at her confession, but mostly it just broke his heart. His hands came up to both of her cheeks and pulled her gaze to him, and their eyes locked. He realized her eyes were glossy, just on the verge of tears. “I love you, Gwen Stefani.” He placed a kiss on her lips briefly. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. You work hard, you have so much love to give, and you have completely turned my world upside down. You’re an incredible mother, and you’re raising the sweetest little boy. And you deserve everything in this world.”

A few tears fell as she listened to his words, and her head rested slightly against one of his hands and she took a deep breath. “Your body is incredible to me. There is nothing wrong with you, Gavin is an asshole and doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about.” Her eyes closed and her forehead wrinkled a bit. He continued. “I love the way you always have to cuddle up and hold onto me when we’re together. And there’s this scar you have on your right hip that’s barely visible, and I’ve been meaning to ask about it, but I always remember it. I love when you wear my shirts - like how you’re wearing one right now - because all I can think is damn, how did I get so lucky that this incredible woman never wants to take off _my_ shirt?” He paused. “It’s crazy to think that Apollo grew in here…” Blake hesitated, intently watching her as he dared to move one of his hands down and over her stomach. Her eyes stayed on him and she didn’t flinch or tense, she just watched his hand against her. “I mean, I know how babies are made n’all, but it’s still pretty incredible.” She couldn’t help but laugh a little at his comment as she looked up to him again. Her fingers wicked away a few stray tears. 

“You are so much more than one superficial thing, Gwen. There’s so many amazing parts of you and I’m in love with every single one of them.”

She couldn’t help it. That was the one thing that started her crying.

Her arms went around him and clung onto him tightly, as she sniffled against his chest to try and compose herself. He held her against him and rubbed her back for a few minutes. “Gwen, I just don’t want you to cry over him anymore.”

“I’m not crying over him,” she sniffled a bit and pulled back to look at him, and gave a small smile through her tears. “Blake, I’m crying because of you.” Before he could even respond, her lips pressed into his as she kissed him deeply. He reciprocated, leaving his hands in place, a little nervous.

“I love you so much, and I’m sorry, none of this was ever about you.”

“I know that. I know he really messed you up.”

She kissed him again, and reached for his hands. Gwen slowly guided and moved them up under her shirt, bringing them to rest on her hips. He smiled a little as his thumbs began to massage in light circles on the sides of her stomach, and her arms reached up to rest around his neck. She leaned forward and placed a few kisses on his neck next, hovering to whisper in his ear.

“You make me feel so safe and incredible, Blake. Thank you.”

His arms moved up her back and pulled her against his chest. “I just want to hold you tonight. Is that okay?” She nodded her head quickly and shifted, laying down next to him and relaxing instantly as his arm went around her, pulling her back up against his chest. He pulled the duvet up closer around both of them and kissed her cheek. 

“Long, crazy day,” she said.

“We got through it, though. Somethin’ to be said for that.”

“We’ve gotten through a lot, Blake. This whole relationship has been so fast and intense - not in a bad way - just…whoa.” She paused. “I can’t even believe you’re still here, actually.”

“Why do you say that? I told you, you can’t scare me off so easily.”

“I just feel like damaged goods sometimes. How many times have you had to talk me off of the ledge? I mean…I don’t know. I just feel bad sometimes that you’re not with someone less complicated.”

“It’s not like I’m not complicated,” Blake countered. “All that shit with Miranda. Making you deal with the constant attention of the reporters and cameras. That’s a lot for you to handle.”

“But it’s worth it,” she responded. “God, it’s so worth it to be with you."

“And that’s the end of the conversation, because Gwen, I care about you too much. I really do. And all of this is so worth it to me. Life isn’t about happy and simple all the time. It’s about being with the right person while you’re living it, and Gwen, I’m with the right person.” He paused, and pecked her cheek with a kiss. “Is there anything else that you’re worried about that I can talk you out of?”

Gwen let out a giggle, turning her head on the pillow to look at him. “No,” she responded quietly. “I’m pretty much convinced that you’re perfect. And that you love me almost as much as I love you.”

“ _Almost?_ ”

“Mmhhmm.” She paused. “Thank you for bringing me back. You always do.”

“It’s not one-sided, y’know. You bring me back, too."


	29. Exposed

Gwen woke up loosely in his arms the next morning, but it wasn’t enough. She wiggled her nose a bit realizing it was cold, and she turned to face him and cuddle into his chest as a shiver went down her spine. He noticed her movement and opened his eyes a little, bringing his arms tighter around her. If there was one thing he was used to at this point, it was Gwen getting cold easily. He reached and tugged the duvet up around their shoulders and placed a kiss on the top of her head.

Her head turned up to him a moment later and placed a kiss on his lips. Her eyes opened and lingered on his for a moment as he offered her a small smile.

“Car accident,” she said suddenly, after they had been laying awake for about ten minutes or so.

“Hmm?”

“That scar on my hip,” she explained. “I remember details about that day like it was yesterday. I was in elementary school. My dad had taken me to some kind of follow up doctor’s appointment that morning, so it was just us in the car when he was driving me to school. I remember I was telling him that I decided to own a donut shop when I was older because it just looked like fun, I would never have to go to work in a real office, and I could decorate the shop however I wanted, and I liked sprinkles and would put them on everything. We had this whole conversation about it.”

Blake chuckled a little bit. “You know, you’d look pretty cute in one of those little visor hats and ear sets. Let’s not rule this out completely…”

Gwen started laughing. “Shut up, Blake.” She kissed him then, before going back to her story.

“I think I was in the middle of telling my dad that I thought using the color brown was stupid like how Dunkin’ Donuts used that for one of their colors and I don’t remember anything else after that. Apparently, the light turned green at an intersection for us and a drunk driver t-boned our car from my side. Some kind of metal from the car wedged into my hip from the impact and they think that’s what made me pass out. It was pretty painful for a while.” She paused. “I was a little surprised when you mentioned it. I’ve been covering it up with make up for years,” she added quietly. 

“Why?”

Gwen shrugged a little. “Because he didn’t want to see it.” He kissed her and she smiled a bit through her return kiss. 

“There’s actually a second one from that accident on my stomach that’s even harder to see, it faded easier, especially because of the pregnancy, but it’s still there. I had internal bleeding from the impact and they had to cut me open.” Gwen shifted to take his hand and move it under her shirt, bringing it to the middle of her stomach as she went on her back. She moved his finger down vertically across the three inch scar, meeting his eyes as she did so. 

He let her guide his finger, not taking lightly the fact that she was holding his hand against her stomach willingly, knowing full well how she could very easily get self-conscious about that particular area. She let go of his hand, gently resting it on top of his against her instead. 

“So Blake, what did you want to be when you grew up?”

He chuckled a little and shook his head. “Well, there’s two answers to that, darlin’…” he paused as she gave him an inquisitive look. “There’s what I actually wanted to be, and then there was what I told everyone at school I wanted to be, cause apparently it was too ‘girly’.” Gwen laughed a little but kept quiet so he would continue. “I loved helping my mom in the kitchen. I’d help her cook dinner and I learned about spices n’things from an early age. And oh god, when she would let me bake, that was the best day of my life in that moment, but normally she wouldn’t because I’d leave the kitchen a mess.” He grinned sheepishly. “So I always thought I’d grow up and have a restaurant, or cook, or something. But I told my best friend that in grade school and I got ragged on for it, so I started telling everyone I wanted to be a cowboy.”

Gwen started laughing again. “But Blake, you are a cowboy!”

“Nah, sweetheart, like a professional cowboy. One that travels around and rides bulls and stuff. It made me sound dangerous and manly, so I kept tellin’ people that even after I got really into music.”

“Oh,” she said, pausing. “Yeah, please don’t do that.”

“Not plannin’ on startin’ anytime soon,” he promised. 

“Do professional cowboys _chewbacca_?”

Blake chuckled and rolled his eyes, letting his hand fall across her stomach and to her hip as he moved on top of her, pinning her to the bed with his body. Gwen bit her bottom lip and smiled as he moved up towards her, gently pressing his lips against hers. “Somethin’ like that,” he said in a low voice.

Their eyes locked as Blake rested his chin just in between her breasts, mutual smiles plastered on their faces. Gwen’s was the first to fade, though, as she brought her hands up and gently began massaging his scalp, tugging lightly on his bed head curls.

“I think this time might actually break my heart,” she whispered quietly, and he knew immediately what she meant. She had to go back to Atlanta that day, and they had both avoided talking about it, trying to live as long as they could in this amazing world together. “Leaving has hurt before, but not like this. This one is really going to hurt.”

Blake’s smile had also faded at this point, and he moved off of her to lay next to her and brought her into his arms immediately. He pulled her back up against his chest and his arms went around her tightly, his lips planting small kisses along her jawline and cheek. There weren’t any more words to say at that point; it was just the two of them, in the silence, the inevitability of her having to get on that plane weighing down on both of them. 

After what felt like an hour, Gwen finally spoke. “When can I see you again?” she asked in a whisper. She was keeping her eyes straight ahead of her for fear that she was already about to lose it.

His arms tightened around her. “I’ve got the next couple of weeks on and off at _The Voice_. We’ll wrap up and get that entire week before Christmas off, and then I’ll have real time off after that. No more shows, no more _Voice_ for a while.”

“Hmmm.”

“You?”

“The next few weeks we’re closing out the season. And the office will close for the rest of the year a week before Christmas. It’s nonstop in the office, not something I can work from home doing. All hands on deck when we’re finalizing.”

“So that means…”

Gwen closed her eyes and swallowed. “Three weeks.” She turned around in his arms to face him, obviously upset over the realization. He moved forward and kissed her as she moved her arms around his neck, not letting him go as she came to rest against him. “This is going to be the longest we’ve been apart.”

“Are you worried?”

“No, not about us,” she said confidently. “I’m not looking forward to missing you as much as I’m going to, though. Like, I really don’t know how I’m going to be okay. And I know that sounds really clingy, I’m sorry if it does, it’s just…”

“Shhh…” he said, cutting her out of her thoughts as his hand went down her back, rubbing gently. “We’re gonna call, and text, and do that thing where I can see your face on my phone somehow and you can see mine back…”

Gwen let out a chuckle. “FaceTime?”

“Yeah, that.”

Blake’s eyes went over to the bedroom door as the knob started turning, which caused him to raise an eyebrow. The door pushed open slowly.

“Mommaaaaa?” Apollo’s voice came, which caused Gwen to sit up and turn her attention to the door. Apollo caught sight of her and grinned, running full speed towards the bed. She giggled a little as she crawled over to the edge and pulled him up with her, moving them both back over next to Blake. Blake sat up a bit and leaned against the headboard, arm going around Gwen as she sat next to him and Apollo situated between them. 

“I’m really not looking forward to having an empty bed again,” Blake whispered in her ear, pecking her on the forehead with a kiss as he reached out to ruffle Apollo’s hair. Gwen sighed, falling back against him as she fought to keep herself together.

——

In the blink of an eye, she was gone. 

The next thing she knew, she was out of bed, packed up, on the tarmac, on the plane, on the ground, and standing in front of her apartment door back in Atlanta. It was crazy how fast time travelled when you just wanted it to stop. Even more unbelievable was how fast the next morning came - day care drop off, then in the office. The office. It almost felt like a bad dream being back there, not because she hated her job, it was just the most obvious indication that Blake was nowhere near her for the time being. It was a crashing and shocking reality that pulled her violently out of her day dreams; that next report to cross her desk, the screeching of Grace’s voice from down the hall. And she had no idea how she was going to do this for three more weeks. 

The days felt long, longer than they should have, and the work felt tripled. The latter was mostly true, as she was trying to close out a season and her team felt like they were scrambling to do so. It was pure indecisiveness and perfectionism on her part that was the issue, but she needed it to be perfect. If she was going to suffer being away from him like this, the least she could do is work to make sure something in her life was going right. 

Most of their phone calls came late at night, after she had worked long days and tried to spend as much time with Apollo as possible before it was necessary to put him down for the night. The phone calls gradually got later and later, until Blake eventually called her out on it.

__

_“Darlin’, it’s almost three in the morning in Atlanta. Not that I’m not happy to hear your voice but…what are you doing up?”_

_“I can’t sleep. I’m exhausted, but I’m wired. I hate that. I just did four hours of reports and projections hoping it would knock me out but it didn’t.”_

_“I’m worried about you working these long hours again…”_

_“Blake, it’s fine.” She sighed. “It’s just hard right now. We’re closing season and Grace’s head has detached from her body. Happens every season.”_

_“What did you eat for dinner?” he inquired._

_She stayed silent._

_“Lunch?”_

_Silence._

_“Gwen…”_

_“Fine. I’m going to the kitchen now,” she conceded. She hung up on him and redialed him immediately as a FaceTime call. Once he came up on the screen, she smiled a little as she propped her phone up in the kitchen. “You’re impossible.”_

_“Get used to it, sweetheart.”_

_Gwen turned her back on him and opened the fridge, her eyes gazing through the contents._

_“Gwen, it’s literally not fair that you’re not wearing any pants right now.”_

_She chuckled, and turned her head back to him on the video call. “It’s 3am. Do you wear pants at 3am?”_

_“I wear a lot less when you’re around at that time,” his voice came lowly, which caused her to chuckle and shake her head._

_“Bad cowboy,” she said, raising her eyebrow. She came over and shifted her phone upwards so he would no longer see below her stomach. “Is that better?”_

_“Heyyyyyyy!” he whined, which just caused her to laugh again. “The only thing worse than seeing you without pants on is _not_ seeing you without pants on…”_

_She moved towards the phone, resting her elbows on the counter as she ‘accidentally’ pushed her cleavage closer together, which peaked out at the top of her shirt._

_“Well, what else would you want to see?” she asked in a whisper, biting her lip as her eyes locked on him._

_“What do you want to show me?”_

_He was challenging her. Her eyebrow raised as she slowly unbuttoned the front of her shirt, letting the fabric cover her breasts from his view. Gwen had her shirt all the way unbuttoned, and at this point, she was just teasing him as she let the fabric hang._

_“What else?” he pressed further. She saw Blake lean into the screen to get a closer look. She felt brave in that moment and showed him her pointer finger and she dipped it below the camera, out of view, as she swiped at her wet center. She brought it to her lips and slowly sucked her finger, keeping her gaze on him and her eyebrow raised. She heard Blake moan out of frustration in that moment as he couldn’t look away. The room could have been burning down around him and he still would have been both eyes locked on her._

_“What…else…?” His breath was shaky, almost, and desperate._

_“Anything else is going to have to wait, cowboy,” she said, flashing him her naked breasts quickly before she started buttoning her shirt back up. Blake’s face fell into a stunned shock, she could tell he was having so much difficulty with this. She kind of felt bad for teasing him like that, but she definitely didn’t feel comfortable FaceTiming herself any more undressed than she already had._

_“Fuck, Gwen…” he let out a breath and sat back in his chair, his eyes going to the ceiling as he tried to compose himself again. After a few moments, he looked back to the camera again and right at her. “Well if you’re going to be a tease, would you at least eat something?"_

_She popped a container out of the fridge and held it up to him, showing some kind of vegetable and rice dish. Gwen took a seat at the counter and dug a fork into it, eating a few bites._

__

——

Unexpectedly, she peered down at her phone in the midst of her edits for a work sketch and caught a text from Blake.

_Good morning, beautiful. I’m going to be in recordings all day, but I wanted to let you know the semi-finale show tonight is live and there’s some kind of interview they’re airing before that and…well, I mentioned you, and I want to make sure I said everything alright. I love you. Eat lunch today, please. Mints on your desk don’t count. -B_

Gwen sighed and rolled her eyes at the last part, but sank into her chair as she contemplated a reply. She smiled a little as she began typing.

_Trying to impress me with your fancy TV show, cowboy? Gx_

She pressed send, and immediately followed it up with another text.

_It’s like you think I don’t already have your TV schedule plugged into my phone, or at least set on DVR. Gx_

_That’s adorable. -B_

_Lizzy has already bought wine for the occasion. We’re going to her house and having a sleepover with you and the kids. Gx_

_I miss you, babe. -B_

She couldn’t wait for that day to be over. It dragged on, as per usual, but finally she was picking up Apollo at daycare and heading over to Lizzy’s house for dinner. Apollo went running in the house immediately as Gwen hugged her friend in greeting. 

“So I’ve literally kicked my husband into the guest room tonight so we can have a sleepover,” Lizzy said with a laugh. 

“I feel so honored,” Gwen joked. They walked into the kitchen and wrangled the kids to the dining room table to eat dinner, and soon Lizzy was grabbing the wine and two glasses and heading up the stairs to the master bedroom. Gwen scooped Apollo in her arms and brought him with them, crawling into Lizzy’s king sized bed with Lizzy and her kids. Gwen fumbled with the remote and found the right channel, and Lizzy handed her a glass of wine. She took a long, slow sip, and relaxed back against the headboard.

“You have…no idea…”

“….how much you needed that? Love bug, we both work for Grace. If anyone understands, it’s me.”

“Fair.”

“Blakeeeey!” Apollo squealed suddenly, realizing he came up on the TV.

“Shut up shut up shut uppp!” Lizzy squealed with equal excitement at her own kids, and grabbed the remote from Gwen to turn the volume up. Gwen took a sip to calm her nerves, why she was nervous, she really didn’t know, but she was. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she knew he was going to talk about her. 

_"So, Blake, come on, man, we need to address the elephant in the room - what’s with these dating rumors? And then others say you’re getting back with Miranda, and others are saying you’re dating a lot of people, set the record straight, what’s been going on?”_

_“Well, first of all, I wish Miranda the best…but that’s not a relationship that either of us want to get back into…” Gwen inwardly cringed as she heard him say her name. “…but yes, I’m dating again. I’m dating one really incredible woman exclusively, and I mean, wow, she’s just an amazing person and we’re really happy.”_

_“How does someone meet a hunky country star these days? I’m assuming this wasn’t like at a bar or anything...”_

_“Well, we met at one of my concerts actually. It just kind of hit both of us out of the blue. It’s hard, because she doesn’t live in California anymore, but we make it work. It’s worth it.”_

_“It’s Gwen, right? The fashion designer that lives in Atlanta?”_

_Blake chuckled a little. “Yeah, that’s her. Ya’ll need to calm down though, if you keep chasin’ after her with cameras, you’re gonna make me lose her. And I don’t think I’d forgive any of you for that.”_

_Him and the interviewer both laughed, but she could tell he was serious in that moment. She didn’t even realize the tears that started falling down her cheeks as it just hit her how much she missed him. How much she wanted him next to her, how he wanted him to talk just so she could feel those vibrations against her and send a shiver down her spine. She swallowed more wine, and she felt Lizzy’s arms come around her._

“This is like, torture,” Gwen said finally, hugging her friend back before tugging Apollo into her lap. The interview cut off soon after, the rest of it simple small talk as she kissed her little boy’s head. Apollo reached up and placed a kiss on Gwen’s nose, which made her giggle a bit. 

“You’ll see him soon, love bug,” Lizzy said quietly, her hand rubbing her back a little. “Do you want me to turn it off?” 

“Oh my god, no, please don’t. I love the self-torture. I want to watch,” she said with a small laugh. She tugged her phone off of the nightstand and pulled up his contact, sending him a text. 

_You’ve got me, Blake. All the cameras in the world couldn’t make me not love you. Gx_


	30. Four Seasons

Gwen could have sworn by the time the clock struck 11:30 am, she had ran all four floors of her company in its entirety. In four inch heels, no less.

She was suffering through some boring meeting where the head of the jewelry division and the head of the accessories division were going at it and not agreeing on anything, not to be confused with the head of the handbags division that got caught in the middle somewhere. It was ironic, and perfectly fitting that their biggest collaboration meeting room they were in was affectionately nicknamed “The War Room”. Not only was it the holiday season where everyone was on edge from personal things in their lives, but it happened to be the most stressful time of year for all of the designers to finally decide what they wanted to do with the line they were trying desperately to close out. 

Gwen had no skin in the game and largely tuned it out, though she was forced to sit there. The jewelry division wanted big statement pieces to be a focal point, but the accessories division thought statement pieces were ‘so over’ and big flowy scarves were all the rage. She couldn’t help but gawk at the absurdity - especially because she knew at the end of the day, Grace would change her mind seventeen more times at minimum, and probably bring in a handbag to replace it all. 

Her heels were the first to click against the marble surface as she left the war room in search of the elevator, desperately ready to get back to her office. She rode up to her floor and gazed down the hall as her office was so close, these heels were so soon to be off of her feet…she couldn’t stand it much longer. She opened the door, kicked her heels to the side, and scrunched her nose as the weird sensation of tights against the carpet hit her suddenly. Her eyes fell on her desk, and blocking her view to her computer sat a giant vase filled with perfect sunflowers. A smile crept on her face as she walked over, her hand delicately over her mouth in surprise as her smile grew.

Damn, she was so lucky.

Her hand reached out for the card, and just then she heard her office door open quietly as someone came inside. Her eyes flashed over to Lizzy, who had a big smile on her face, too.

_Four Seasons Hotel, across the street._

_Room 502._

_Lizzy said she was able to break you out for a few hours._

_-B_

__

As the card opened, a room key dropped onto her desk, and she must have reread the card three or four times before looking up to her friend.

“What’s going on?” she asked eventually.

“Blake put a surprise for you in the Four Seasons across the street,” Lizzy said.

“But Liz, I can’t…isn’t my afternoon insane?”

“Mmm…to Grace it will look insane, but I totally put some bullshit meetings on your calendar to meet with vendors so you can break out of here for a bit. I’ll text you if anything happens while you’re gone, but seriously, you should go now,” Lizzy’s wicked smile came across her face as Gwen laughed a little bit, clutching the room key.

“He probably hired a chef to physically shove food down my throat, or something,” she joked and laughed, reaching for her handbag and clutching it tightly. “God, Lizzy, I love you so much. Thank you.”

“Have fun, love bug.”

Gwen hugged her tightly, and made a quick escape once she slipped her shoes back on. She really didn’t want to, but something told her it was going to be worth it.

It seemed like it took forever for the light to turn green to cross the street. Gwen had never been inside the Four Seasons outside of the cocktail lounge for meetings, but she knew it was a gorgeous, and very expensive place. Her nerves hit her stomach as the bellhop opened the door for her and she headed to the elevator. Her heart skipped a beat as she pushed the fifth floor button, and soon she was standing in front of room 502, dying to see what all of this was about.

She entered the keycard slowly, gaining entry, and walked inside with hesitation. She was taking everything in, and looking around expectantly, but so far it just looked like a normal hotel room to her. Her eyes fell on what she assumed to be a room service cart, but it was covered up. She didn’t want to open it, she hadn’t been told to, but it was peculiar. Maybe Blake had just rented her the room for the day to catch up on sleep? Guys could be weird like that, even though she wasn’t complaining because damn, she was _exhausted_.

“How does it feel to be a free woman?” 

The all too familiar country voice startled her from behind as she whipped herself around, eyes immediately catching tears as they fell on Blake. She gasped as he moved forward towards her, he had this big grin on his face that showed no signs of fading. A few tears fell down her cheek as it took her a moment to recover.

“I…I have to be hallucinating,” she said quietly, her hand coming over her mouth. “I must have passed out again, because there’s no way that you’re actually standing here right now.”

He took one more step towards her, closing the gap between them, as his hands rested on her shoulders. “I’m here,” he whispered, grin still plastered on his face. It must have been the reality of him touching her that shocked her back to life, as she gasped again and immediately jumped into his arms, hugging him as if her life depended on it. Blake caught her and laughed a little, spinning her slightly as his grip tightened and her feet left the ground. Once she felt her feet touch down again, her lips immediately, and hungrily, pressed into his, her arms pulling him down to her. She broke contact to catch her breath, staring at him in shock a little as he tugged her over to sit on the edge of the bed with her.

“What are you even doing here? How are you here right now? Why are you here right now, is something wrong?” She had a million questions, the first three of which he shut up by pressing his lips to hers again as he chuckled. 

“Nothin’ is wrong, sweetheart. I’m with you,” he said, taking her hand into his and squeezing it. “I wanted to surprise you. Some of our calendar got rearranged and it gave me two days off. When I realized that, I got right on a plane because I wanted to see you. I needed to see you.” He kissed her again, and Gwen pushed herself towards him more, eventually sliding her leg across his lap and sitting on top of him. Her arms tightened around his neck as his came around her back.

“Two days off? As in…today and tomorrow?”

“Mmhmm.”

“ _Blake Shelton_ , you got on a plane across the country today to come see me just so you can get on another one tomorrow to go back across the country? And then go to work the next day?”

He leaned forward and kissed her with a small smile on his lips. “Mmhmm.”

“You’re so crazy,” she whispered, going in for her own kiss and biting his lip slightly with a grin. “That’s a pretty big commitment to get on a plane just because you want to sleep with someone,” she joked, rocking her hips into him a bit.

“Gwen, you know I want you for more than just sex, baby. But I mean…if that’s what _you_ want to do with our time, I’d be open to the possibility.”

“Mmm. Who’s the tease now?”

“That would still be you. You still owe me for that damn FaceTime call. I will have my revenge.”

“Why don’t you avenge yourself now?” she whispered, with another hip rock into him. 

With one swift motion, Blake untucked her shirt from her skirt and pulled it over her head. He flipped her onto her back, reaching behind her to pull the skirt zipper down as he moved over top of her, gently tugging it down her legs. Gwen grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him down on top of her completely, her body writhing into his as she forced him to kiss her deeply. His shirt was off next, followed by his jeans and boots. Blake pulled up for a moment, tugging her heels off of her feet before delicately clenching the waistband on her tights to pull them down her legs, being careful not to rip them. If there was one thing he knew, it was that women really got upset when you ripped their tights.

Gwen bit her lip in anticipation as her hips moved slightly, helping him maneuver the tights off of her legs. Once he felt they were safe he was back on top of her, kissing her deeply as his hand travelled down to rest on her center. She let out a moan as her legs parted slightly for him. The next moment she realized he had her underwear off as he placed his erection right up against her center and her hips started writhing for him again. 

“Now is not the time to be a fucking tease,” she breathed, bucking her hips up into him. “Fuck me hard, please. I can’t handle anything else.” Her hands moved to his hips and she started jerking his boxers down his legs, and he couldn’t help but chuckle at her sudden desperation. 

His hands went behind her back in a flash, tugging at her bra harshly until he finally got it off, chucking it to the side. Without warning, his head dipped down in between her legs as he pushed them open, licking her center and teasing her clit. Her hips jolted at the sudden sensation and before she could even recover from that, she felt Blake’s hands grab her hips as he pushed himself inside of her, a lot quicker than usual.

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she gasped, letting out a groan as her hands fisted the sheets underneath. He was usually so gentle with her - he always went in slow, giving time for her to adjust with the least amount of discomfort, but this was quick, fast, painful, but god, it was her new favorite thing. Her breathing got ragged as he moved inside of her. His arms came around her back as he began thrusting into her, smothering her mouth with his to muffle her screams.

His mouth left hers and came to suck on one of her breasts, her hand resting at the back of his head as hers snapped back. Her hips were bucking, and she just felt so close and it was driving her crazy. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, either. He bit her lip and kissed her as he thrust into her again.

“Let go, baby,” he whispered, and her nails dug into his back as hers arched and she gasped for air, being sent over the edge as she clung tighter to him. A few more thrusts on his end and she felt him tense and tighten, spilling into her as she continued to right out her own orgasm. 

He collapsed on top of her and her eyes closed. She knew her breathing was rough and she felt his against her like that as well, and they just laid there together as they slowly began to recover. Soon, Blake rolled off of her to lay next to her instead, face down on his stomach as he watched her. Gwen’s eyes were still closed as she caught her breath, soon turning her attention towards him with a big smile plastered on her face. She giggled a little when she found him looking back at her, also with a smile on his face.

“Hi, cowboy,” she whispered. 

“Hi, sweetheart.”

Blake rolled onto his back and Gwen immediately took it as a cue to move over towards him and cuddle up in his arms. Blake tugged at the covers beneath them and brought them both underneath. Gwen rested her ear against his chest and she sighed contently as she found his heartbeat. Her eyes closed a little as her arms clung around him tighter. Blake’s arms held her and moved up and down against her back as they relaxed in the silence. 

“I love you so much, you have no idea how much,” Gwen whispered. “How are you this perfect?”

“I think I have a pretty good idea,” he responded lowly, with a kiss on top of her head. “Nowhere near perfect. Just in love.”

“Your interview made me cry, you know. Lizzy almost threatened to turn it off.”

Blake chuckled. “It wasn’t meant to make you cry.”

“I know. But sometimes I can’t help it. Because, again, you really are this perfect.”

Silence fell for a few moments. Then...

“How long do you have?”

“I checked my calendar. Lizzy blocked me for two and a half hours. I can probably get away with that much, too.”

“But I don’t want you to stay too long if it means you’re gonna be working at 3am again.”

“Blake, I’d work at 3am every day for a month just to have this time with you right now.”

“That reminds me…” he said, moving slightly to get up. Gwen’s face immediately turned to a frown, and he let out a laugh. “I swear I’m coming right back.” He stood up and walked over to the room service cart, pulling the tray off of it and sliding it on the bed next to Gwen. He came back around to the other side and crawled back in with her, reaching over her to pull the covering on it off.

“Not only do I get sex, I get lunch, too?” she asked cutely as her voice went up into a girly pitch. Blake started laughing and nodded at her. “Well, aren’t you just the best boyfriend ever. And…oh my god, it’s grilled cheese!”

Gwen reached forward and took one of the sandwich halves into her hands and took a bite out of it, turning to raise her eyebrow and smile at Blake behind her. She offered him the sandwich, which he took a bite of and grinned right back at her. 

“I mean, seriously, Blake, does it get any better than sex followed by bread and cheese?”

“I’m glad you’re easy to please, darlin’” 

Blake continued to watch her eat, thoroughly amused as she kept offering him fries or bites of the sandwich. When she was done, she cuddled back into his chest and reached up to kiss him.

“Can we talk about how crazy you are?”

“Naaaah. This is just a normal weekday for me.”

Gwen laughed a little, sweetly planting a few more kisses on his lips. 

“I feel like I’m alive again,” she said quietly. “Like these last two weeks without you I’ve just felt something missing. And now I just feel so happy, complete, energized. All of the above.”

“I feel the same way,” he responded, his arms tightening a bit around her.

They laid like that for the entire two and a half hours Gwen was able to squeeze away from work; small kisses and touches, whisperings of sweet nothings back and forth. She passed him the key to her apartment and put a call in to Apollo’s daycare to let them know that Blake would be coming to pick him up early that day; he said he much rather would have spent time with him versus Apollo staying in daycare when he didn’t need to, and she almost couldn’t believe her ears. She had to work to keep herself together on that one, but she knew the moment she’d get back to the office behind closed doors she’d let a few tears fall. 

It had been two weeks, a torturous lifetime away from him, and yet somehow with one look as they were reunited, not only did it all fall back into place immediately, but it was worth every second apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, WOW, WOW. I can't believe this is already at THIRTY chapters. 
> 
> I keep having people tell me they never want this story to end, and I promise, I will do my best to keep it going as long as I can and as long as people are still enjoying it :) I have a good amount of ideas still in the works! Stay tuned!
> 
> Thank you for all the love and comments. It seriously means the world to me. Small confession: at least half of the chapters that I post I feel are actually terrible, or off, or weird, or something not right, but it's seriously your encouragement that keeps it going (and a HUGE, HUGE shoutout to Brie on this one, because without her, I probably would have crawled into a hole a very long time ago). 
> 
> xoelectric


	31. Crossings

Gwen’s eyes flashed to the clock on the dashboard and she groaned, taking a turn probably too fast as she pulled into her apartment complex. She threw her car into park in the first available parking space she saw open, grabbed her belongings, and practically started jogging to her apartment. It was nearly 7:30, and she had promised that she would be home closer to 5:00 that evening, but Grace was impossible. She honestly didn’t know what she would have done about picking Apollo up with how much over she held her, and most frustrating of all was the fact that Blake literally had to leave the next day. 

A moment later, she was exploding through the front door in a frenzy, dropping a few of her belongings onto the table next to the door. “I’m home, I swear!” she exclaimed, sighing as she shut the door behind her and locked it up for the night. Her head went against the front door as she bit her lip, already feeling guilty. 

Blake popped his head around the corner from the kitchen and grinned. His grin faded a little though as he saw Gwen standing against the door, not seeming to be in the best mood. 

“Hi, baby,” he said softly, walking over to her. His voice brought her attention and her body to turn towards him, and she couldn’t help but feel a smile come about her features. He just had that effect on her.

“Hi,” she said back, as she felt his arms go around her and she instantly melted into him. “Oh my god, Blake, I’m so sorry I’m late. I know I said 4:45, and then it was 5:30, and then I promised 6:15…”

“Sweetheart, we’re all good here,” he cut her off. “Apollo and I spent the day together, and it gave us a little more time to cook dinner together.” He kissed the top of her head.

“I just feel so terrible. Like, you’re only here until tomorrow, and I couldn’t get out of there and…I’m just sorry.”

“No more of that. Come on, we have time to spend together now,” he said, arm going around her and leading her into the kitchen. Her eyes widened a bit as she took in the scene in front of her; Apollo was sitting in his highchair with a small plate of cut up food as he reached down for a small piece of broccoli and put it in his mouth.

“I’ve said it once, and I’ve said it before….Blake, you’re magical,” she said, a bit in disbelief. 

Blake chuckled a little bit. “Well, it might have had something to do with the ice cream I bought him for dessert - if and only if he ate all of his broccoli.”

“Ahhh, I see you’ve cracked the code of the toddler - bribery,” she said with a small laugh. Gwen walked over to Apollo and kissed him on the head.

“I uh, did what I always see you do…I cut his food into small pieces before giving it to him,” Blake said, almost nervously. 

She caught his tone and smiled a little at him reassuringly. “You did perfectly, baby.” Her eyes went down to look at Apollo again, who was happily eating away at his broccoli. Gwen moved around the highchair and walked over to Blake, moving her arms around his midsection and sighing.

“I made us some dinner, too,” he said, nudging her a little.

“That must be what smells so amazing. It’s probably the first time that oven has ever gotten used.”

“You okay?”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed quietly, leaning into him more. “I’m just so exhausted that I can barely see straight.” She paused, and looked up to him with a small smile. “I mean, if we’re honest, some of that is probably _your_ fault.” She pecked him on the lips with a kiss and settled back against him.

“Come on, why don’t you go sit down and I’ll fix you a plate,” he encouraged. 

She nodded. “I’m going to go change really fast though.” She squeezed him a little before letting him go, taking off to the bedroom for a second, emerging a few minutes later wearing capri length spandex and an oversized tank top. She took a seat at the dining room table next to Apollo, pulling her legs on top of the chair as she rested her chin on he knee. Blake brought a plate over for her and set it in front of her, kissing the top of her head as he did so. He took a seat next to her with his own plate, and his hand reached out for her and he squeezed it. 

“You should know that Apollo is the one that picked out the vegetables at the grocery store,” Blake announced. “And he helped me measure out the seasonings _and_ even helped me taste test everything.”

“Did you do all of that, baby?!” Gwen’s excited mom voice came as she smiled, ruffling Apollo’s head. He grinned back to her and nodded, taking another stab at a piece of broccoli on his plate. He held it out towards Gwen, and she leaned towards him and opened her mouth and let him feed it to her. “Mmmm…that’s so yummy! Good job. Maybe Blakey will teach you how to cook lots of good things when you’re a little older.”

“Blakeeeey,” Apollo said, holding out a piece of broccoli towards him. He laughed a little and followed Gwen’s lead, leaning in towards him to let the toddler feed it to him. 

“You did good, buddy,” Blake said. He looked to Gwen and they smiled at each other in that moment. It hit him that Gwen was talking about him in the future tense, and whoa, he could have fallen backwards over how much that effected him. In a good way, of course. Besides, even Gwen’s mom voice was hot to him, so he knew he had it bad. 

Apollo held out another piece of broccoli to Gwen and she chuckled. “Nooooo. That’s for you to eat, little man,” she said, catching onto his game. Her eyes turned to Blake. “It’s scary how smart he is sometimes, like it didn’t even take him five minutes to try and keep us eating all of his vegetables so he could get to that ice cream you promised him.” She shook her head, and ate a few bites of her own dinner. 

“I’m going to gain ten pounds just from one day of you visiting,” Gwen remarked, even though she was showing no signs of slowing down. 

“Think of this food as the food you haven’t eaten all week and you’re making up for lost time,” he said pointedly, raising his eyebrow at her because he just _knew_ her. She reached out and tugged at his shoulder to come closer to her, placing a kiss on his lips before taking another bite.

“I prefer your cooking anyways,” she conceded. “Though, you might actually kill me with it one day, because if your grilled cheese is even half this amazing, I’m a goner.”

“Duly noted.” He grinned, and ate another bite.

“So what did you two get into this afternoon?”

“Well, I went and picked him up at daycare and there was a little park down the road that I saw and he wanted to stop there for a little while. We headed to the grocery store for dinner and came back to the apartment. Apollo showed me his room and all of his toys, and he wanted me to read one of his books so we did that before we got started on dinner.”

“He suckered you into reading _Green Eggs And Ham_ , didn’t he?”

“Saaaaam I aaaaaam” Apollo chimed in at the mention of the book, and Gwen chuckled.

“Three times. I started feeling kind of bad for that Sam character.” He laughed and Gwen joined in, shaking her head. 

They finished their meal in silence after that. Blake grabbed their plates as Gwen cleaned Apollo up, and soon a little more time had passed and she knew it was getting late for the little one.

“Alright baby, it’s time to go sleepy night night,” Gwen said. 

“Blakey tuck in,” he said, pointing up to Blake. Her eyes widened a bit in surprise as she looked at her boyfriend.

“Well, the toddler has spoken,” she remarked, thinking just how adorable it was when she caught a glimpse of a grin across his face after Apollo pointed and wanted him. 

“Come on then, buddy,” Blake said, proudly scooping him up in his arms. Gwen walked over to the couch and laid down, smiling to herself as she watched them together. 

“Only two bedtime stories, Apollo,” she called after them.

Four bedtime stories later (three of which was just Blake re-reading _Green Eggs And Ham_ again), Blake emerged from Apollo’s room and headed out into the living room.

“Gwen?”

His eyes fell on her, and she didn’t respond. Blake walked over to the couch and sat next to it on the ground, gently caressing her cheek. “Gwen, baby, wake up.”

Gwen’s eyes opened a moment later, and realizing she fell asleep, she shot straight up as she let out a huge yawn. “I’m up, I’m good, I’m not tired,” she said defensively. Blake chuckled a little and pulled himself up on the couch to take a seat behind her, and she immediately laid back against him as his arms came around her.

“It’s ok to be tired, darlin’,” he said softly, stroking her arm. 

“Noooooo it’s not. And I’m not. I’m just —“ her speech was interrupted by a huge yawn, one she couldn’t stop from coming out. Blake started laughing again.

“And you were saying?”

“But I want to have sex,” she whispered. “Like, realllllly bad.” She pouted. 

“You’re exhausted. As much as I love sex with you, your health is more important, and baby, you need to take it easy tonight. No exceptions.”

Gwen turned her bottom lip up in a frown as she pouted some more, but couldn’t help but snuggle into him at the same time. It was when she was confusing like this that he was thoroughly amused by her. 

“I promise I will utterly exhaust you on Christmas vacation,” he whispered in her ear, nibbling on it a bit. A smile came to her features as her eyes stayed closed, snuggling into him a little more with approval.

“Are you awake enough to talk about something, though?”

Her eyes opened in that moment and went up to him, curious as she felt the mood of the room change. “Yes,” she responded simply. “What is it?”

“So, uhm…I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, first of all. I don’t want you to get upset or offended or think that I don’t mean what I’m about to offer from the best place.”

His words were close to making her stomach knot as she sat up a bit, bracing herself for the worst. “Okay…” she responded, nervously.

“I want to hire Taylor to help you out with Apollo, at least just for a little while,” he said, letting out a sigh. “It’s just…your work is crazy, and really important to you, and I really hate the thought of Apollo being in daycare when I know both you and him love Taylor and…and she’s in between jobs right now because I’m not touring and would absolutely be thrilled to do this if you’d let her…”

“Blake, nannies are insanely expensive,” Gwen breathed. “Apollo is in daycare because that’s what I can afford. And it’s not a bad place, it’s one of the better ones, and it’s expensive but it’s worth it. But a nanny…that would probably be double the money, at least.”

“She would be staying on my payroll,” he explained. “And really, when I floated the idea to her, she was thrilled.”

“Blake, no, you can’t pay for Taylor for Apollo like that…it’s too much.”

“What would you have done tonight if I hadn’t picked him up earlier?" Blake asked, and Gwen’s eyes went wide for a moment as she sat up straight, and off of him. 

“I…I…don’t know, Lizzy could have picked him up. Or I would have had to figure something out…I can’t believe what you’re implying right now.”

“No, no, no, no, no…” Blake said, as his hands went to her shoulders to keep her on the couch next to him when he felt her shift to try and leave. “Okay, baby, I’m so sorry, that didn’t come out right.” He took a deep breath and moved towards her, closing the gap between them.

“I just…I love you so much, and I’ve really fallen in love with that little boy, too,” Blake began. “I just want him to have everything. It broke my heart seeing him at that daycare today. He should be with someone who can give him love and attention all day long, and that’s Taylor. That’s why I want to do this. And I think it would help you out a lot. This has nothing to do with what an amazing mother you are, Gwen, I just…I…” He fell silent, almost at a loss for words. “Gwen, I’m just trying to give you the world, and help in anyway I can. That’s all this is.”

Blake’s face fell, defeated in that moment as he really felt he had royally messed this conversation up. He felt like he implied things that never even crossed his mind, and that maybe this was the moment when Gwen might get rid of him for good. He was pulled back to reality the moment he felt her reach forward and place a hand on his cheek, bringing her lips to his as she placed a kiss on his. She rested her forehead against his.

“I feel guilty every single day,” she admitted. “Leaving him in daycare is the lowest point of my day and it really upsets me. But Blake…that has to be a lot of money.”

“It’s not, Gwen, I promise. I wouldn’t offer unless it was no big deal and baby…I really want to do this.”

Gwen let out a sigh as she bit her lip, contemplating his offer. 

“Just say yes. Let me take care of you guys.”

She sighed again. “Okay, we can give it a try,” the conceded. Blake grinned at her. “Trial basis,” she reminded him. He leaned forward and pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, his arms going around her again. She deepened the kiss, but suddenly pulled back as she started to yawn in the middle of it. She groaned a bit in frustration, and Blake laughed in that moment.

“In the meantime…come on, I’m taking you to bed,” Blake said, standing up from the couch with her in his arms. She yelped a little at the sudden movement and kissed him as he carried her, bridal-style, into the bedroom.


	32. Fait Accompli

She had forgotten how much easier it was to sleep when he was with her. 

Her eyes opened well before her alarm was supposed to go off, which was a normal thing, but this time she had quite a different view with Blake laying next to her. His arms were around her, something she vowed never to take for granted as it was one of the warmest feelings she ever felt. She turned slightly towards him, snuggling a bit closer to him as he dozed. One finger rested lightly on his bottom lip for a moment as she watched him. Eventually, she leaned forward a little and kissed him softly. She kissed him again, and she felt his hands move and come alive against her as he tugged her in a little closer.

He groaned a little bit as he opened his eyes at her before closing them again. “You’re not allowed to leave this bed yet, darlin’,” he said. “Don’t care what time it is.”

Gwen let out a quiet giggle as her hand rested against the scruff on one of his cheeks. “It’s still an hour before my alarm,” she said quietly. “I mean, you can go back to sleep if you really want, but I’m just laying here wide awake.”

Blake’s eyes opened again to look at her with a curious expression, and he was met with a playful grin. He moved forward to close the small distance between them and kissed her, his hand gently stroking down her back. Her hand moved against his scruff as she deepened the kiss. Once they broke contact, he let out a low chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” she whispered. 

“Nothing. You’re just adorable.” A small smile came to her lips and she kissed him again. He turned her onto her back then, laying on top of her as he deepened the kiss. Her legs went around his midsection and hooked behind him as her arms came up and hooked behind his neck. Out of hunger, she pulled herself up slightly to capture his mouth in hers again as their make out session intensified.

He moved to kissing her jawline to eventually catch is breath, then down to her neck which made her jolt a little as she was ticklish there. She tugged his shirt up his body and he helped her pull it off of him, and she did the same with her tank top. When his warm body made skin to skin contact with her as he came back down to her, she couldn’t help but let out a quieter moan. He went back to kissing down her neck, slowly working his way down as he soon took one of her nipples into his mouth.

“Oh god,” she whispered. “Cowboy, are you trying to start something?” Her hips moved up against him as he continued with his mouth. He broke away suddenly and kissed her deeply, tightening his arms under her as he did so. She kissed him harder out of pure lust, and the fact that she was about to explode already from the slow tease. 

“Mmmhmm,” he had responded, muffled against her mouth. “I don’t think one little orgasm would hurt, baby.”

“You’ve got me well on my way…”

“Oh, do I?” he said, right before dipping down to take her other breast into his mouth, causing Gwen to let out another moan as her hips arched towards him. She didn’t bother answering his question, because she knew for certain he knew what the answer was. 

His fingers hooked into the elastic waistband of her spandex and he pulled those and her underwear down her legs and completely off her body, chucking them to the side. He placed a kiss in between her breasts and slowly trailed kisses down her stomach, keeping his eyes focused on watching her reaction as he finally came right above her center. At this point, he felt seasoned; instead of greedily moving to kiss her there, he first made sure to grab a hold of her hips before slowly lowering down and kissing her center. As predicted, Gwen’s hips jolted slightly in his hands. Blake pulled her legs open slightly more before letting his tongue enter her, and started establishing a rhythm as he teased her clit.

Gwen’s breathing quickened as her back arched, her hands grabbing fistfuls of the covers below them as she tried to work to contain herself on some level. She was always pretty bad about keeping still, and it’s something Blake secretly loved about how expressive she was like that. She felt his tongue start to play with changing direction, swirling in circles as it teased her more, and she started squirming more underneath him.

“Mmm Blake, right there,” she said breathlessly, one of her hands going to rest on the back of his head as she tugged him into her more, trying to build the pressure. His grip tightened around her hips as he went in deeper, picking up the pace and she was so quick and close to get to the edge again. “Blake I’m so close, please don’t stop, oh my g—“ She gasped as she couldn’t stop her hips from bucking up into him and he held her tightly as she rode out her orgasm. 

Blake continued to gently kiss and tease her as she started to come down, her body twitching and writhing underneath him. Her body jolted as he continued to touch her overly-sensative areas, and her hands went to his shoulders to try and tug him up to her, unable to handle it anymore. She was still catching her breath as her eyes closed and she felt Blake move up her body, gently placing a kiss on her cheek as he laid his body on top of her. His face was hovering just a few inches from hers and he gently stroked a few stray locks of blonde hair off of her face, and placed a kiss on her forehead before coming off and laying next to her.

A few minutes later, she turned into him and rested her cheek on his bare chest, her leg moving to take his in between hers as she snuggled him to him. His arm went around her, pulling her in as he smiled to himself, watching her.

“Nobody has ever made me feel as incredible as you do,” she whispered.

“I feel the same way about you, sweetheart.” 

She opened one eye and peered up at him discreetly, before moving her hand across his stomach. She slowly started moving down, eventually dipping her hand into his boxers, which made him look down at her with heated eyes. She gently began to stroke his length, teasing him with her nails as she placed a few kisses on his chest. His erection was obvious, and she didn’t think it was going to take long to get him off.

She grinned a little as she ducked under the covers, moving herself more on top of him as she moved down and tugged at his boxers. She settled in between his legs as she gently teased him with her nails again, and the second she took him into his mouth, Blake groaned unexpectedly. 

It was different, and somehow even a little thrilling as he peered down and couldn’t see what she was doing, the covers hiding her from him. Every touch and tease was a surprise and he had no way of anticipating what she was going to do next without being able to see her. Gwen suddenly took him in deeper into her mouth, and he knew in that moment he was going to be a goner soon. She was switching back and forth between sucking and licking him like a lollipop, and the switch between the two was pushing him closer. He groaned again as his hand moved down to the back of her head, guiding her movement but trying to be careful not to suffocate her against him. Because damn, he knew he would have with the level of pleasure he was feeling.

“I want you to come in my mouth, Blake,” she said adamantly, quickening her tongue and movements as he got right up to that edge again. A few more sucks and his legs stiffened as he moaned louder, finally meeting his release as he spilled into her.

Gwen placed a few delicate kisses on his body on the way up, and soon she was laying on top of him with a satisfied grin on her features. Her lips brushed his and his arms went around her, and she settled against him as they just laid together for a while. That was, until she jumped out of her skin and yelped when the alarm on her phone started going off right as she had started dozing back off to sleep. Blake chuckled a little as Gwen groaned and reached for it, hitting the snooze button.

“Don’t wanna,” was all she said, snuggling back down into his chest. 

Blake sighed, keeping his arms around her. “What do you have to do today?”

“Daycare drop off. Meeting. Miss you. Meeting. Bullshit. Miss you. Meeting. Drama. Miss you. Meeting. Pick up. Miss you. Airport. Really miss you. Home. Sleep. Wake Up. Miss you. Try and sleep again.”

“Baby…” he said, holding her tighter suddenly.

“I’m just being honest. I hate when you’re not around. I…I get it, but it doesn’t mean I don’t hate it.”

“I hate it, too.” He let out a sigh. Even though he barely wanted to listen to his next words, he said them out loud for her sake. “Sweetheart, we just need to make it through a little more than a week and then we’ll have an entire Christmas and New Years vacation together. We’ll get to see your family and Apollo will get to open all of his toys and spend Christmas there, and I’ll pop to Oklahoma for a few days to see my family and then I’ll be back with you in LA for the rest of it. You’re going to be with me so much, you’re going to be sick of me, Gwen.”

She chuckled a little and shook her head. “Not possible.” She reached up and kissed him, as her body wiggled in his arms a little bit which made him smile. 

“When do you have to get going?”

“I usually need to leave by 7 for daycare drop off and traffic.”

“What about without daycare drop off?”

“Mmmm. 7:30. Why?”

“Why don’t you let me take Apollo this morning and you go straight to work. And that means…we can lay here for another half an hour.”

She couldn’t help but smile. “I like the way you think. Are you sure?”

“I’d do anything for just a little more time with you, babe.” Gwen smiled up at him and reached over for her phone, changing the alarm setting for another half an hour before cuddling back up against him and closing her eyes.

——

She had to force herself out of the door that day.

Gwen got into work, somehow convinced herself to go into her meetings and try and focus, but it was nearly impossible. She put on enough of a front for her co-workers as she paid attention, and even helped contribute suggestions here and there, but her mind was on her cowboy. Her mind was on a lot of things, actually, because Blake told her that Taylor would be flying out to Atlanta that day to start helping Gwen with things. Apparently, Blake had Taylor on standby the whole time and just needed to get Gwen to allow for it to happen. He was perfect like that, even though she still felt guilty on some level for accepting his help in such a huge way. 

Her phone was propped on a docking station on her desk when it lit up, altering her that Blake was trying to FaceTime with her. He knew she was at work and wrinkled her brow as she moved her hand forward to pick up the call. Immediately, his face came on the screen and even though it had only been a few hours, she felt herself pining for him again.

“Hi baby,” she said sweetly, closing a portfolio and giving him a concerned look. “Is something wrong?”

“I uh, don’t want you to be mad at me or anything…promise?”

Both eyebrows went up over that question as she leaned in, honestly a little worried about what he could have possibly done now. 

“…promise?” he repeated nervously, when he didn’t get a response from her.

“Oh, you might as well just tell me…I’m not sure if I’m going to be good at keeping this promise. What did you do?”

Blake shifted away from the phone, out of view for a moment and stood back up, grinning at her sheepishly as Apollo rested on his hip. His little arm was rested on Blake's shoulder as his hand held one of Blake’s ears, exactly the same way that he would only ever do to Gwen. 

“Blake…what happened to daycare?”

“Gwen, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave him there,” he said with a sigh. “Not when I have the day free…and Taylor will be here this afternoon so he’ll be with me and then he’ll have both of you and…I just could’t do it.”

Her heart melted as she kept her eyes on him and sighed. How could she be mad at him? How did she get so lucky to find someone who honestly cared about Apollo that much?

“He started crying when we were in the parking lot and I tried to get him out of the car but he just kept clingin’ to me and calling me Blakey…” he sighed again. “I’m weak, baby, I caved.”

Gwen whisked away a few tears as she rested her chin on her hand, looking at him through the screen. A smile came to her face as she shook her head.

“This wasn’t supposed to make you cry, are you that mad?”

“How could I be mad at you for that, Blake? No. Never mad. I just can’t believe how close you guys have gotten in such a short amount of time and….just, god, you’re like such a dad.” She laughed a little.

“Well, maybe one day I will be,” Blake said genuinely, which made Gwen inhale and she forced herself towards composure. “Look, I didn’t wanna interrupt you at work or anything, but I just wanted to tell you that he’s safe with me if they call wondering where he is.”

“I love you guys so much. I’m sorry I can’t be with you today.”

“The three of us will be together soon enough, sweetheart. Love you.” He paused, looking at Apollo. “Say goodbye to momma, she’s gotta work buddy.”

Apollo blew her a kiss and she pretended to catch it and put it on her cheek, and then she saw his hand immediately go back to Blake’s ear and she couldn’t help but laugh a little as the screen went dark. 

——

This was the part she hated. The place she dreaded, that made her stomach turn. This time it was slightly different - they were waiting in the terminal together, the three of them, as Taylor’s plane would be landing any moment. 

Gwen kept mostly silent and only really moved to pull snacks for Apollo out of his bag to hand to him when he started getting a little fussy. Blake took her hand in his and held it, and her head eventually leaned against his shoulder as they were waiting for the inevitable. She was happy to see Taylor again, but dreaded her walking through that door because once she got off the plane, Blake would be getting on it. The time came when the sometimes overly-excited blonde came walking through the door, and without realizing it, Gwen’s hand cinched tighter into Blake’s, not wanting him to leave. 

“Taylor,” Gwen said with a smile, giving her a hug with the other half of her body as she wouldn’t dare let go of Blake at that point. 

“Hi everyone!” she exclaimed, crouching down a bit to say hi to Apollo, who went into her arms immediately for a hug. Gwen let out a sigh of relief watching the two of them together. 

“Thank you for taking the job, Taylor, we really appreciate it,” Blake said as she stood up.

“Of course. I needed one while you weren’t touring anyways, and I love the kid and we’re going to have a great time together,” she bent down and scooped up Apollo in her arms and kissed his forehead. He had a cheerio in his hand which he held out and offered to Taylor, and she laughed a little and took it from him and ate it. “I didn’t have dinner yet, so thank you, that helps.”

Gwen felt the tears coming in her eyes as she tightened her grip, but she was holding back. Taylor noticed and assumed they would be upset to part ways, and she gave them a knowing nod. “I uh…I’ll take Apollo to the car and get him settled in so you guys can have a minute?” she offered. Gwen nodded and with a small smile passed her the keys, and Taylor took him out of the building. Once they were alone, she slowly let herself start to break in front of him, but caught herself and tried to compose herself better.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she apologized quickly, taking both of his hands in hers. “It’s all going to be totally fine. We see each other in basically a week, and we’ll have a lot of time to spend together, no work, no reporters hopefully, just relaxing. Everything is going to be okay.” They both knew she was trying to convince herself of such a thing more so than she actually believed it. He reached out and wiped a few of her tears before pulling her into a tight hug.

“Gwen, this is hard. You don’t have to pretend it’s not just because of me.” She exhaled against him but didn’t move. “To tell you a secret, I cry like a baby after I get on the plane, or when you have to leave.”

“I seriously doubt that,” she said with a chuckle.

“Look at me.”

Her eyes went up to his in that moment and she saw traces of tears beginning to form in his eyes, and that really hit her in her core. She froze for a moment before reaching up to his face, gently whisking one away that was caught in the corner of his eye. She pushed up on her toes and kissed him deeply, hugging him tightly one last time.

“Thank you for letting Taylor come out,” Blake said. “She did really need the job, but damn it, Gwen, I feel so much better knowing that you’re not out here alone right now.”

“I told you…I said I was going to try to let you take care of us, even when I think it’s too much or I’m not sure.”

“You’re doing a really good job, baby.”

“For the record, I still think this is too much, but we’re going to try it. And if it makes you feel better…I can’t argue with that.”

He kissed her again as he continued to hold her.

“Just a week,” he whispered against her ear, pecking another kiss on her cheek. “I love you so much, baby girl.”

“I love you too, cowboy. Please text me when you land, okay?”

“Promise. Always do."

Their bodies untangled from one another and he took a step to leave, and she turned away immediately and began walking out of the building and towards her car. She knew it would just make it worse if she watched him physically get on that plane again, and she still had a long night ahead of her between Taylor and Apollo.


	33. Prelude

After Blake left, the rest of the evening was such a blur.

She remembered getting back into the car with Taylor and Apollo, and most of the drive home was silent as Gwen was using all of her energy to keep herself composed. Apollo was very in tune with her, and she knew that if she let him see her upset he would get confused and worried, and that was the last thing he needed. Blake had made his incredible lasagna for them for dinner that night as a parting gift, and she remembered going home and dishing it up for them. She had barely touched it herself, she was too caught up in her own world. She must have shown Taylor the guest room at some point because she ended up sleeping there, and she knew she told Taylor about Apollo’s routine even though it might have been all over the place coming out of in the moment. She remembered crawling into bed, feeling guilty over how much she missed him. 

Closer to 2 in the morning, her phone buzzed and she grabbed it from the nightstand. 

_I just got home. I can’t stand my house without you in it. -B_

_I can’t stand my bed without you in it. Gx_

_Why are you up, baby? Go to sleep. -B_

Gwen took a breath, knowing the answer immediately. She began typing it, but then backtracked and erased it. She had promised him that she’d always be honest with him, and even though she felt like sweeping how she was feeling under a rug, she knew that she couldn’t.

_I don’t think you realize the only time I sleep like a normal person should is when I’m with you. You calm me more than anyone else ever has, and when you’re not here, it’s hard. Gx_

Waiting for a return text on that was making her nervous; she was always so in her own head about not wanting to come off as needy or desperate, a fear that she had her last relationship to thank for. 

_Sleeping with you in my arms is the best feeling in the world. And only when you’re with me, I know for sure you’re safe. -B_

_Is this how it’s going to be? You text me super sweet things all week and keep me in a constant state of tears? Gx_

She paused, as she sent another text behind it.

_Are you able to call? I need to hear your voice. Gx_

A moment later, her phone was buzzing and she slid the bar across the screen to answer. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi baby. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just miss you so much.” She paused. “Would you tell me if I ever got annoying? Like, too clingy?”

“Gwen, the way you love with everything you’ve got is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the most I’ve ever felt loved, and anyone would be so lucky to be loved by you like that.”

“Can you talk about things with me that won’t make me cry? Oh my god.”

“Gwen, have you met yourself? Tell me something that won’t make you cry and I’ll do my best.”

She started laughing at his comments because god, she knew it was true.

“Just imagine how amazing it’s going to be when we see each other again. It’s really not that far away. We can spend all day on the couch together if you want, watching Christmas movies and making out...”

She sighed. “That sounds incredible.” Gwen smiled to herself, and added, “I’m going to have a little more than just making out on my mind though, Blake.”

“Mmmm…” he responded, which made her smile grow bigger. She laughed a little as he seemed a bit speechless. 

“You can’t tell me honestly that it hasn’t crossed your mind.”

“I mean, you’ve caught me, my original idea was to watch Christmas movies with you and fuck you hard on the couch, but ‘making out’ sounded more gentleman-y,” Gwen burst out laughing at his admission, to which Blake joined in.

“You’d better,” was all she said once they both calmed down from laughing a bit.

“Are you laying in bed?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Why don’t you try and get some sleep?”

“Because that would involve putting my phone down.”

“You can’t stay up all night just because you don’t want to put your phone down.”

“I know, but I can try for a little bit.”

“Put me on speaker phone. I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep.”

Gwen switched him onto speaker and set her phone right next to her as her arms grabbed for her pillow, and she settled down into the mattress. 

“Can I play you something that I’ve been working on? Just the guitar, I haven’t worked the lyrics out quite yet.”

“Mmhmm.”

She heard him reach for his guitar and pull a few strings as a test before he began to play. The notes were soft and delicate, and as she closed her eyes she really felt like he could have been in the room with her there instead of over the phone. It was so comforting, but she had to be careful not to reach out and try and find him because she knew she would be disappointed. When the chords ceased, she heard him come back on the phone.

“It’s just a new melody I’m working with, but I wanted you to be the first to hear it.”

“Baby, it’s so good, I love it so much.” She yawned a little. “You’re so amazingly talented Blake. Play some more?”

Blake heard her yawn and figured this might have been helping put her to sleep, so he fulfilled her request. He continued playing the same melody, adding a few variations to it here and there to develop it further. A little while later he stopped the chords, realizing he hadn’t heard anything from the other side of the line for a while.

“Gwen?” he asked lowly, with no response. Assuming she had fallen asleep, he smiled a little to himself. “Goodnight, baby, I love you,” he said, before disconnecting their call. 

——

Gwen was up and moving around a little later than usual the next morning, and even though she didn’t have the responsibilities of getting Apollo up, dressed, fed, and ready for daycare, she almost felt guilty for not doing it. She knew Taylor was there, and hired to help her, but it was definitely going to take some getting used to. Apollo never liked waking up in the mornings anyways, so he would likely be in a supremely good mood once he did wake up which would make things easier for Taylor’s first full day. Or at least god, she hoped that was the case.

She came out of her bedroom and walked towards the kitchen as she was fiddling with her second earring, trying to secure it when her eyes fell on Taylor already in the kitchen.

“Good morning,” she said, as she smiled and walked over to where her handbag was resting by the door. She opened it and slid a portfolio inside of it, and made her way back over to the kitchen.

“Coffee, black, because Blake said that’s how you take it in the mornings,” Taylor said, handing her a travel mug ready to go.

Gwen must have looked a little shocked as she took the mug from Taylor, because she started laughing a little. “I can’t believe you’ve already made coffee, wow, thank you, that’s amazing.” She took a long sip of the hot liquid and exhaled, the aroma instantly relaxing her. 

“Your car keys are on the kitchen table, and I think I saw your sunglasses by the door.” She paused, as reached back and grabbed a brown bag. “Lunch and snacks, because Blake says you won’t leave your office. I uh, did the best I could, but you really don’t have a ton of food in the house."

Gwen was _definitely_ not used to this. 

“Wow, I um…thanks..” she managed, sipping her coffee again. “Oh! That reminds me…” Gwen turned and set her coffee down and pulled something out of the drawer. She slid a credit card into Taylor’s hand. “For Apollo, day to day expenses, those kind of things,” she explained.

“Do you want me to go grocery shopping today?”

“I uh…is that okay?” she asked, letting out a breath. “I’m sorry, I’ve never done this before, I have no idea how it goes.” She quieted for a moment, then raised an eyebrow. “Wait. Do you have a car?”

“Blake had one of his trucks delivered from the ranch this morning.”

“Wow, okay, of course he did.”

“I’m going to make an executive decision and go grocery shopping for you today,” Taylor added. “You just go to work and everything will be totally fine here today, I promise.”

“Taylor, if he starts being trouble, or if something happens, or if something goes wrong…”

“I will call you, I swear.”

Gwen nodded quickly. “He can be cranky in the mornings. He doesn’t like to get out of bed.”

“We will be completely fine, I swear.”

“Okay.”

Eventually, she made herself leave. It was an odd feeling, leaving Apollo at home, and leaving her house that morning almost felt like he was starting school or something with how much of a weird impact it had on her. She trusted Taylor completely, she knew he would have a great day, but there was just something that was causing her to panic. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe she still just felt like it was all too much for him to do.

Her work day was pretty uneventful, mostly just meetings and projects that she got to work on solo. Her mind would occasionally wander to Apollo and Taylor, wondering what they were doing. A bit past lunchtime, Taylor texted Gwen a picture of them at the aquarium, which made her laugh. Her child had such an obsessive personality, but she couldn’t blame him, because she was pretty sure he got it from her. Yep, Apollo was obsessed with fish, and Gwen was just obsessed with Blake. She supposed there were worse things in life to be obsessed with, though, so she decided to count it as a blessing instead. 

Once Gwen was able to leave work and come home, she came through the front door and she instantly smelled something amazing cooking in the kitchen. She unwrapped her scarf from around her neck and walked over, taking it in. With how many times her kitchen was getting used this week, she was almost afraid it was going to break from so much sudden use. 

“Hi, baby!” Gwen squealed, coming over to hug Apollo in the highchair. He was already settled in with his own dinner which made her smile, and she turned to see Taylor coming back into the kitchen from the living room. 

“Welcome home,” she said.

“Taylor, you cooked all of this?”

“Yeah, it was no big deal. When you hang around Blake long enough, this is what happens,” she laughed a little, and went to one of the pots next to the stove, stirring together the final product. Her eyes looked out into the living room and her eyes widened, suddenly leaving the kitchen.

“What?” she exclaimed suddenly, looking around. Her living room was immaculate. It was freshly vacuumed, cleaned, dusted, Apollo’s toys were put up, and the soft scent of cashmere woods lingered in the air from the wax burners she kept on the side tables. It was the most clean she had ever seen her apartment.

“Apollo had a lot of laundry in the hamper, so I made sure to do that and I put everything away, except for a few things I didn’t know where they should go, so I left them on his dresser,” Taylor called from the kitchen. Gwen turned around and went back into the kitchen, not bothering to say a word as her arms went around her in a tight hug.

Once Taylor realized what was happening, she set the serving spoon down and hugged Gwen back. “Are you okay?”

“I…everything is…done,” she breathed. “I just don’t know what to say. I’m overwhelmed.”

“Gwen, I was hired to make your life easier. That’s all I’m doing.”

“But you really like, don’t understand,” Gwen said, letting out a breath. “I’ve been doing this alone for so long and I just…” she shook her head and shut her eyes, forcing composure. “Just…thank you, so, so much.”

Taylor smiled at her and handed her a bowl of dinner, and Gwen smiled and took it from her. She walked over to Apollo, who was done, and she set the bowl down for a second to pull him out of his highchair. She scooped her dinner up as she made her way to the living room, wanting to curl up on the couch instead of sit at the dining room table. Apollo sat in her lap as she gave him little kisses and snuggles, and she took a bite and her eyes went immediately to Taylor, who sat down adjacent to her. 

“Oh my god, between the two of you, I feel like the most incompetent person in the entire world when it comes to my kitchen,” she laughed a little bit, and cut a small bite to feed to Apollo when he started pining for Gwen’s food. 

“Does that mean you like it?”

“Oh god, yes, it’s amazing.” Gwen took a few more bites, and her eyes came up to look over at Taylor who was doing the same. It took a lot to muster up the courage, but she took a deep breath and figured she just needed to dive in and ask what was on her mind. “So hey, uh…I’ve had something on my mind lately that I’ve wanted to ask you about, even though I’m nervous about it I really want to ask now.”

Taylor’s attention came up and over to Gwen. “Sure.”

“So uh, when we were in California for Thanksgiving…I was talking to Adam at one point. He said something about Blake getting really bad right after his divorce, and I mean, I’m afraid to know the answer but I really need to ask if you could tell me anything about that.” Her eyes met Taylor’s again as Gwen was hopeful she might be able to get some information to of her. She knew Taylor was with Blake during that time, and she wanted to press Adam further, but due to logistics and not knowing him well she didn’t have the chance. The room was eerily silent between them as Taylor seemed to contemplate, before giving Gwen a nod.

“Yeah, maybe it’s a good idea that you know,” she agreed. Taylor took a breath, and gently set her bowl on the living room table and pulled her legs up on the chair. “Maybe a little context is good, too. Gwen…his last relationship was pretty terrible. Miranda is probably one of the most vile and vindictive people I’ve ever met. Constantly beating him down, making him feel like dirt, demanding everything from him and not wanting to give him anything in return. He was her biggest supporter, and she would act like his career wasn’t anything compared to hers. This went on for years. She was so finicky, she hated him showing affection to her in public and they weren’t touchy feeling behind the scenes, either, but Blake stayed. He used to tell me he made a commitment and he was going to stand by it, and he did love her, and maybe this all would pass and they would get to a point where they’d be happy together. That point never came.”

Gwen swallowed, as she kept quiet and continued to listen.

“So, push came to shove and when he felt like his marriage was really close to falling apart completely, he tried to do something about it. He flew out to one of her shows as a surprise. Made the reservations at a top notch restaurant, had roses in hand and diamond earrings in his pocket. He was going to take her out and tell her that he was a hundred percent committed to her, and their marriage, and that things weren’t great recently but he really thought they could work through it and be happy again. Instead, he walked onto her tour bus and right into the middle of her orgasm that her tour manager was giving her.”

Gwen still couldn’t speak, all she felt was her heart breaking.

“He stopped eating. Lost a ton of weight. He was drinking constantly. He didn’t know what to do or how to handle this. He got really sick and depressed at one point that Adam all but carried him into his house and forced him to move in with him and Behati for a while. Adam couldn’t trust leaving him alone in a house by himself or else he’d drink himself into oblivion. And, they had work this entire time at _The Voice_ , and Adam didn’t think he was capable of getting himself there relatively sober and on time for filming and not smelling like alcohol. It was a really horrendous year.”

Taylor paused, before continuing.

“He slowly started getting out of it, in a way. He would still drink, but he would drink less. He started working on an album again, and he was cleared to go back out on tour this last go-around. And then he met you.” Taylor let out a breath. “Gwen, I sincerely believe that he started wanting to live again only when he met you. He stopped drinking for the wrong reasons. He started talking about the future again. He came alive when he had been dead for so long.”

“Why didn’t he ever tell me it was that bad?” Gwen managed, quickly whisking tears off her cheeks as she hugged Apollo close. 

“Because he doesn’t do that. He puts everyone else first and forgets himself.”

“And then he met me, with the same amount of drama and issues and complications, and he’s had to deal with those.”

“No, Gwen. It’s not like that. I know it’s not,” she replied. “He loves you so much, it’s painfully obvious. And you love him. You’re not being a burden to him, you’re making him feel needed, loved, and an immovable part of your life, and he’s never had that before. And the fact that Apollo loves him already kills him in a good way…when he called him ‘dada’, he wouldn’t shut up about it for a week. He always wanted a family, and that was also something he knew he was never going to get with her.”

“I really should have waited to ask you about this, like, the night before we left. Or on the plane ride. Or something.”

“Go call him,” Taylor urged. “He’s probably on a break, with the time change.” 

Gwen nodded and stood up, bringing Apollo with her as she grabbed her phone and made her way to the bedroom. She paused in the doorway, looking back to the blonde sitting on the couch. “Thank you,” she said simply, genuinely, before closing the door.

She sat on her bed and quickly wiped under her eyes as she dialed him for a FaceTime call. Apollo started crawling around the bed, and it took a few minutes for him to pick up. Once he did, his face came on the screen partway, but it seemed as if he was talking to someone else. He turned to the camera with a huge grin on his face. “Hi, darlin’!”

Gwen’s face lit up in a smile immediately. “Hi baby,” she said in a girly pitch. “Are you busy? Am I interrupting anything?”

“No baby, I’m on break, and I’ve got a taco and my girl on the phone, so life is pretty great.” He grinned, showing her the taco in his opposite hand before taking a bite out of it. Gwen laughed.

“Looks like you’re more excited about that taco,” she remarked. 

“Nah. It’s only because the taste I’m really craving is 3,000 miles away…” his voice lowered as his eyes flashed dark.

“You’re so naughty, Blake, bad cowboy,” she said with a laugh. 

The camera jolted a bit as Blake opened the door to his trailer, coming inside. He propped his phone up on the dresser, and smiled again at her.

“What’s up, baby?”

“I just…” she began, then stopped as she smiled at him through her lightly watered eyes.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”

“Yeah, I’m okay, and yeah, maybe a little,” she nodded again and smiled. “I just needed to call you. Because I needed to tell you how in love with you I am, how much _we_ …” ...she pulled Apollo in front of the camera with her…”…love you. And that I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing you are and how excited I am for our future together. All three of us.”

His smile grew bigger in that moment, before his eyebrow raised a bit. He was obviously relishing in her words, but he was a little skeptical at the same time. “So…what have you and Taylor been talking about tonight, hmm?”

“Girl stuff,” Gwen brushed it off. “Blake…she cleaned my entire apartment, went grocery shopping, took Apollo to the aquarium, and made dinner. I’m speechless.”

“You don’t look as stressed as usual,” Blake observed. 

“Can we keep her?”

Both of them started laughing a little bit, before Blake replied.

“If I had known it was only going to take you a day to come around, I might have tried doing this sooner.”

“You know there’s only really one person that takes all my stress away…in a lot of ways…” she gave him a smile as she felt Apollo tug on her ear, which diverted her attention briefly before looking back to Blake. 

“Don’t you worry. You’re not going to have a trace of stress left when I’m done with you, baby.”

——

A few nights later, Gwen was curled up on the couch with Apollo in her lap, and Lizzy and Taylor sitting nearby. It had been a hell of a week, not only at work, but fully making the adjustment to having Taylor around, who turned out to be a godsend. All of those small, complicated errands that she put off for months were suddenly done, her apartment was always clean, and there was always food in her fridge or leftovers ready to be eaten. It was almost scary how great her life was now that Taylor was with them, and she never wanted it to end. She was terrified of it ending, but she knew that was mostly just her anxious personality. She was never fully calm without Blake around, and that was something else she was having to adjust to. 

Lizzy moved forward and poured three glasses of wine as Gwen flipped through the channels, trying to find _The Voice_. It was the season finale, and she felt like such a fangirl girlfriend, but she couldn’t help the fact that she needed to see him on TV. The show was live, and that small fact alone just made her smile inwardly. She got to see him in real time, working, and that was just so amazing to her.

She didn’t totally follow or know much about the contestants, but enjoyed them enough to sit through them, waiting for the moment that Blake would be back on screen. He seemed so extra that night as he joked between the contestants and the coaches. Gwen sipped her wine and her head rested on Lizzy’s shoulder as she sighed. 

“I’m so in love with him,” was all she said. 

“When are you going to get your head on straight and go back to LA to work out of that office?” Lizzy asked. “He’s there, like, all the time. You could so easily be in the same city as him on a regular basis. All you have to do is call Lisa and she’ll take you back in a heartbeat...”

Taylor’s head turned at Lizzy’s words and her eyebrow raised, suddenly really interested in the conversation. Gwen nudged Lizzy out of panic once she realized Taylor had heard. 

“You have the option to work in the LA office full time?” Taylor asked. 

“I uh…” she stuttered a little bit, before sighing. “Yeah, I do. I…asked to go to Atlanta, the job wasn’t here originally, actually,” she admitted. 

“Gwen! What’s stopping you?!” Taylor exclaimed. “If you don’t have to be in Atlanta, then why are you here? Oh my god, Blake would move you in with him in a heartbeat…”

“Taylor, he doesn’t know,” Gwen cut her off. She needed another few sips of her wine before she continued. “I just…I’ve been meaning to talk to him about this, it just hasn’t come up. It’s not like he’s asked me to move in with him, I don’t want to make any assumptions, but I mean, I know. I know it’s crappy I haven’t told him I could easily transfer my job back to LA I just…” She let out a breath. “The reason I’m in Atlanta is because I needed to get away from my ex. Like, more than physically, I needed to get away from everything that reminded me of him, even though that meant leaving my family out there. I basically ran away after my divorce, and to go back…that’s a huge move.”

Taylor was just staring at her in disbelief. 

“I know I need to tell him. I just need the right time to do so. I’m not trying to hide this I’m just —working through it, still. Not because I give a damn about Gavin, but going back, even if it’s with or because of Blake, is a huge step. And one I’m scared to bring up, I guess.”

“Gwen, he’s going to be thrilled. You need to tell him. Soon.”

“I keep telling her, it’s going to happen eventually, because if they have any real chance of making it, they’re going to have to take that step,” Lizzy chimed in. 

Her eyes went back to the TV as she recognized his laughter. She knew they were both right, and she knew that when she was with him, everything negative in her world seemed to disappear. Maybe she was to the point where it was safe for her to go back. Maybe California might be a different experience for her this time.

Maybe this was how she was going to finally get her happily ever after.

“Okay,” she said finally, letting out a nervous breath. “I’m going to tell him over Christmas break."


	34. Closer

The plane ride from Georgia to California seemed to drag on forever. She was getting strangely accustomed to these longer flights, but she knew this one felt doubly long. He had taken her heart with him across the country, and it was finally time to get it back.

She used him as an escape that week. Anytime she got stressed, or annoyed, or even just bored, she closed her eyes and imagined this moment. When she put all of her job behind her until the new year and she got to go home to him again. She imagined kissing him, even though it had only been a week it felt like a lifetime. She knew it was obsessive, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She thought about the fact that she just wanted to hold onto him tight and never let him go. Or how they would watch Christmas movies together like he said they would, how his warm hand would feel against the bare skin on her hip…under her shirt...how she wanted to bite his bottom lip and tease him until…

God, she needed to get a fucking grip. 

The plane jolted as the wheels touched down, and Gwen was already halfway out of her seat, leaning forward, anticipating getting up. She had to grab a bunch of things, with Taylor’s help, of course, and then she could bolt down the stairs and just hope that Taylor got the message to bring Apollo too. That would totally work. She was bursting at the seams at that point. The plane shook a bit and she looked over next to her as she saw one of Apollo’s bags spill entirely on the floor in front of them. She groaned inwardly as she sat impatiently waiting for the plane to stop, knowing she had to pick all of his things up, which was going to delay her at minimum another fifteen seconds. Girl had no chill, but god, this was just the longest and worst part of the entire day.

The flight attendant cleared them to stand as the plane stopped and they pulled the stairs over. Gwen went to the ground and hurriedly grabbed all of the spilled contents, stuffing them wherever they’d fit in the bag as Taylor began gathering other carry ons. She stood up and placed the bag on the seat behind her, and her eyes and grin widened when she saw that perfect, tall cowboy of hers walking towards her into the cabin.

She took a few hasty steps towards him and jumped into his arms with a laugh, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck as she gave him a long, slow, and deep kiss through her smile. Blake laughed as he caught her, holding her tightly against him as he reciprocated. They both pulled back for a bit of air and she just clung to him, resting her cheek on his shoulder as she spoke.

“You know, usually you’re supposed to wait until we get off the plane,” she said with a laugh.

“But what fun is that? You were taking too long.”

She pulled up to look at him and smiled, leaning forward to kiss him again. Apollo fought and broke out of Taylor’s arms and suddenly started running towards them.

“Blakeeeey,” he said, as he ran full speed into Blake’s leg and clutched onto it tightly. Blake and Gwen both laughed and Gwen gave him a pout as he gently set her down to stand next to him, scooping Apollo off the ground and into his arm. His other arm went around Gwen and pulled her close to him, planting a kiss on the top of her head. Her arms went around his waist and she clung onto him.

“I’m so glad to be home,” she whispered. 

“California?”

“No. Home is with you.”

——  
It took a while, but she was able to pull herself away from him long enough to pack the car up with everything they brought and head on out to Blake’s house. Gwen released Taylor for the rest of the day so she could go have fun with her friends and catch up, which left the three of them at home alone. Apollo soon started getting tired and cranky from the flight, and he demanded that ‘his Blakey’ read him stories, which eventually lulled the toddler to sleep. Gwen took the opportunity to go back into the kitchen, and she started scrubbing down the dishes in the sink they had used for lunch. She popped open the dishwasher as she placed them in neatly as she washed them. 

Her body jolted in surprise when she felt two arms come around her midsection and a nip at her earlobe, his hot breath flashing against her neck. Blake had her caged in against the counter as his hands began to wander over her body.

“Is he asleep?” she managed to breath, her breath hitching slightly as she flinched when he dragged his hand softly against a ticklish part of her stomach. A small smile came to her features as he continued.

“Mmhmm,” he responded, nipping at her neck as she arched, giving him more access. “Unless you want me to fuck you over the kitchen sink, I highly, _highly_ suggest you get your ass walking towards the bedroom right now.” His voice and mood were dark, territorial. And it was hot. 

It was so hot, that she could barely find the strength to move. She moaned as he nipped at her neck again, his hands traveling up her shirt and against her bare skin. Her breathing quickened as she felt him snap the clasp on the back of her bra, pushing it aside like it was nothing as his hands went to cup her breasts. His fingers gently swirled around her nipples, teasing them relentlessly.

“Gwen, I’m not kidding,” his hoarse, deliberate voice came. “You have three seconds to move, or I’m taking you on this counter.” She bit her lip as she gasped for air, his hands and movement becoming increasingly deliberate. 

“One…two…”

Instead of ‘three’, Blake dropped his hands to her hips and turned her around forcefully, his mouth pressing hard into hers as her back hit the edge of the counter. She gasped in shock as she wasn’t used to him being so rough like this, but god, she didn’t want it any other way right then again there. His hands grabbed her shirt and half a second later it was over her head, discarded with the bra she was wearing that was already unclasped. Blake grabbed her hands and forced her to hold onto the lip of the counter as his mouth went in for the kill, taking her breasts into his mouth, alternating between the two of them as her head snapped back. He let go of her hands and grabbed her jeans, forcefully unbuttoning, unzipping, and yanking them down her legs and helping her discard them to the wayside. He threw his shirt off, jeans were next, and his hands grabbed her ass suddenly and she was hoisted up onto the counter in one quick motion. Her legs parted as he came in between her, pushing her back against the cabinetry as they filthily began making out with one another.

His hands grabbed her delicate underwear and suddenly she found herself completely naked, her thighs quivering in anticipation. She grabbed him from behind the neck and forced him to kiss her again, pushing her body up tightly against his. Blake’s hands briefly tugged once, harshly, at his boxers, discarding them as his hands grabbed Gwen’s ass and pulled her closer to him. He opened her up, aligned himself with her center, and pushed himself into her without warning.

Blake muffled her screams with his kisses as her nails dug into his shoulders, and she could feel her thighs quivering on their own as he pushed again and inside of her even further. She gasped and clawed at him again, and before she even had time to adjust to him, he was pushing himself in and out of her, establishing an intense rhythm right from the start. She was trying to catch her breath as she felt a few beads of sweat collecting at her hairline, but the intensity of his thrusts was distracting her. She went to kiss him but ended up biting his lower lip instead by accident, and he grunted and almost growled as he thrust again into her. In one quick and unexpected motion, he came out of her, grabbed her waist, and pulled her down to stand. Hastily he flipped her to face the counter, forcing her to grab the lip on the counter as he spread her legs and entered her quickly from behind.

Her hands tightened grip on the counter as her back arched, shivering when Blake grabbed her hips and started thrusting into her again. He was hitting her spot, and she knew he was close. It was intense, it was even painful, but it was the best feeling in the entire world. His hand slid over her mouth as he continued to thrust into her, muffling her screams as his hand tightened against her lips.

“You need to control yourself, baby,” he spoke into her ear, huskily, as he thrust into her again. She shut her eyes hard as she continued panting, grabbing onto the counter for dear life. “Shh….” he teased her, letting his breath linger against her neck before taking it into his mouth, sucking her skin relentlessly, which sent chills down her spine again. One sudden, dramatic thrust pushed her over the edge as she began to cry out, her body leaning over the counter as she tried to keep herself standing. His other hand was on her hips, directing them against his length inside of her as he forced her to ride him out up to the point where she slumped over and nearly collapsed. Blake caught her and moved a few more times in and out of her, letting both of his hands grab her hips as he groaned and pulled her ass harshly into him, riding out his own orgasm as she panted, winced, and let out moans that she didn’t even realize she was capable of producing. Gwen slumped over the counter again and grabbed onto something, anything to keep herself standing as she felt Blake finish and lean into her, pushing her further against the hard surface. 

Neither of them could say anything at that point - they were both slumped over, just trying to stand and find normal breathing patterns once more. Blake shifted slightly and it caused Gwen to jump a little, feeling her legs get weaker and she bent down a little, trying to find the strength to stand. Blake let out a heavy breath against her skin and moved his hands to her hips, gently turning her into him as he placed a soft kiss on her lips. He moved down to pick her up, setting her on the counter and leaning into her. His head went straightforward into her chest as he heaved, and her arms came around his neck loosely as she began to play with his curls. She leaned back into him a bit, placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Whoa,” she whispered.

He let out another breath before straightening his posture and bringing his eyes up to her. He kissed her with lust in his eyes before he dipped his head to her neck, nibbling on the skin he found there.

“I told you I was planning on utterly exhausting you,” his husky, dark voice came.

“I need…at least a four day nap now.” She let out a breath, and a smile. He chuckled a little as his arms moved around her.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, baby, oh my god…that was _fucking_ hot…” she grinned, her body moving forward as she hooked her legs around his midsection, her arms around his neck and she kissed him. She rested her forehead against his as she caught her breath again. She bit her lip, and reached over and pulled one of his hands off of her hips and let it rest on her inner thigh, dangerously close to her center. “Do you feel that? I’m still shaking.”

Without warning, his head ducked south and licked the length of her center, which caused Gwen to yelp and jump in surprise as her hand clenched tightly around his arm. “Blake oh my god you’re going to kill me if you…” she gasped as he cut her off, her hips bucking at him as he slipped his tongue inside of her. She whined, and moaned, and her body squirmed on the counter which made Blake’s hands grab onto her hips harshly to control her body as much as he could, not allowing her to move. He delicately began to tease her clit with his tongue, and he knew he was close to getting her off again as her thighs starting fighting him to close around him. Seeing her desperate to build the pressure could have sent him in a tailspin all on its own.

Her legs started to pull up, which opened her up even more to him and her hips began to writhe. She was trying to grab onto something, anything, as the pressure built and she found herself clutching his shoulders desperately, her nails digging into him right as he sent her over the edge again with a gasp and desperate moan. Blake held her thighs still as they quivered and he pulled back, placing a soft, teasing kiss against her center before standing up and in between her spread legs. He moved forward and his arms came around her back to pull her into him and she slumped over against his chest, letting her body weight rest against him completely as she heaved.

“Come on, I’ve got you. Let’s go lay down,” he whispered, as his arms came up underneath her to pick her up into his arms.

“Oh, _now_ you want to go to bed,” she teased, her grip tightening around him as he walked them to the master bedroom. Gwen snuck a few kisses on his jawline as he carried her, setting her down gently on the mattress before climbing next to her. She rolled over and cuddled on top of him, her legs trapping one of his between hers, and it only took a few minutes before they both dozed off to sleep. 

——

She didn’t know how long she was out, but the moment she heard Apollo crying from the other room, her eyes opened instantly. Gwen made a sudden move to get out of the bed, but winced immediately as she laid back down instead.

“OWWW,” she exclaimed, which is ultimately what woke Blake up next to her. She was feeling the effects of what missing Blake for too long culminated in - really hard sex on a counter that left pains in weird places. Blake let out a chuckle and pecked her on the cheek. 

“I’ve got him. Stay here, baby.”

He stood up, tugging his robe on and throwing Gwen hers before he left the room, going next door to where Apollo was. Gwen tried to listen in on the conversation, something about a nightmare. She tugged her robe around her body and sat up slowly, leaning back against the headboard. She felt disheveled, she smelled like sex, but she honestly wouldn’t have had it any other way. She bent her neck as she started to rub her shoulder, groaning a little as Blake came into their room with the toddler. 

“Hi, sweet baby boy,” she said with a smile, and Blake plopped him on the bed. “Did you have a bad dream?” She wiped a few tears away from his little cheeks as she gave him a reassuring smile.

“Is your shoulder bothering you again?” Blake asked.

“Mmm…yeah. Though to be fair, I don’t know if it’s Apollo’s fault again or _your_ fault this time,” she joked, with a small smile.

He came over and sat behind her, moving her hand off of her shoulder as he took it into his own hands and slowly began to massage it. He gave her a peck on the cheek as he continued, working a knot out of her. Once it released, she relaxed instantly against him. 

“So magical,” she commented. “On so many levels.” She paused. “What time is it?”

“It’s getting close to dinner time. Was there anything you wanted to do tonight?”

“I think you promised us Christmas movies,” she said with a tired grin. 

He chuckled. “Are you going to last through one?”

“I mean, probably not, but I’m going to try.” She smiled, and kissed him on the cheek. “As much as I love when you cook, lets just order pizza, so you literally do not have to stop touching me. Please?”

“How could I say no to that?” he leaned forward and kissed her, rubbing her shoulder a bit. 

Blake moved to stand up and Apollo jumped in his arms, Gwen doing the same a moment later as they walked into the kitchen. Blake sat with Apollo as they looked through the movie selection on pay per view and Gwen went into the kitchen to order pizza. Before she could blink, the three of them were sprawled out on the couch together - Gwen leaning up against Blake as Apollo sat in her lap, taking turns sharing pizza with her. Apollo was instantly mesmerized by _Charlie Brown Christmas_ , and would point to characters on the screen every once in a while to show Gwen. She settled back against Blake, and he placed a kiss on her head.

“I never thought I’d have this,” he whispered quietly, but there was a tone of sadness to his voice. 

Gwen’s eyes and attention physically turned to him immediately, searching his eyes for meaning.

“Have what?”

He leaned in and kissed her briefly, resting his forehead against hers for a moment.

“My own family."


	35. Keys

Blake found himself wide awake in the middle of the night, and he knew why. He knew his nerves were getting to him, and despite his best efforts, they weren’t going anywhere anytime soon. The weight of the conversation he had been rehearsing in his head for the past few weeks was weighing on him, daunting him, making him uneasy. He was trying to find the right time to bring it up, the right way to start the conversation, and he was terrified of rejection. Gwen was literally the best thing in the entire world that had ever happened to him, and he was afraid of messing it up or scaring her off. But when he knew, he knew, and he just had to do this. 

It was sometime very early in the morning, and his eyes fell on the sleeping blonde next to him, snuggled up into his side. _His_ sleeping, gorgeous girlfriend, who he still didn’t know how she was convinced to fall for him. He loved watching her sleep like this, mostly because she was so vulnerable and endearing. The way she would sometimes shift in her sleep, or make a face without realizing it. How he knew Gwen put on a strong front for the world, especially for Apollo, but he was the one that got to see her as being vulnerable. She let him in to her deepest, darkest thoughts to take care of her there, and that wasn’t something he took lightly. 

Gwen let out a breath in her sleep and his arm drew around her shoulder. On some level she must have felt him touch her, as her body turned slightly into him more and she breathed again. He was torn between wanting to touch her so badly but not wanting to wake her, so he kept himself still and just kept his eye on her. 

Maybe half an hour later, his eyes were closed but he was still very much awake as he felt her shift again. He opened his eyes as her arm slid across his torso, gripping onto his opposite hip as she scrunched her face a little. A smile came across his features as he kissed the top of her head and squeezed her arm, and her chin turned up to him. She smiled a little, her sleepy eyes just barely opening. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Blake said softly, hugging her close.

“Mmmm…cowboy,” she said with a happy sigh, snuggling into him a little more. She moved up to his lips and softly placed a kiss there, her hand resting delicately on his neck as she did so. Her eyes opened a little more as she smiled up at him.

“How long have you been up?” she asked softly.

“Off and on,” he responded, brushing it off.

Her eyes changed suddenly from content to slightly worried. “Are you okay?”

He smiled down at her and kissed her softly, brushing her nose with his. Blake shifted back a little to sit up into a full sitting position, tugging Gwen up and along with him.

“I’m nervous, because I really want to talk to you about something.”

Gwen sat up a little next to him, watching his eyes. He seemed a little tense, frightened even, and she couldn’t figure out why. She slid her leg across his lap and sat on top of him, straddling him, as she pulled his chin up to look at her. She offered a big smile to him when their eyes met, and a simple kiss on the lips. He seemed to relax a little, his arms going around her.

“Blake, you can talk to me about anything. You know that. No secrets, no judgements, just the truth.”

“Sometimes I forget that,” he admitted, honestly. “Not because of you, but because of what I got so used to in the past.”

Her hands went to the nape of his neck, massaging gently as she watched him intently. She planted a few kisses on his forehead, which seemed to do wonders in soothing his obvious anxieties. His hands tightened on her hips.

“Close your eyes.”

Gwen flashed him a curious look, but soon obliged. She felt him shift under her slightly, and come back to his original position. She felt him hesitate, and then finally, he began to speak.

“I don’t want to wait until Christmas to give this to you. I mean, I know today is technically Christmas Eve so it’s kind of like Christmas, but god, Gwen, I can’t stand waiting another minute.” He let out a breath. Her eyes were still closed, her face scrunched up in a little confusion as he took her hands and placed them to hold a velvet box, one that felt like the size that might hold a necklace of some sort. “It’s not jewelry, and it’s not really your Christmas present,” he explained, crushing that theory. “It’s something that I’ve wanted to give you for a while, and I’ve been losing my mind on how to give this to you because I’m scared of scarin’ you away…” his voice drifted. “Please know that what’s in this box doesn’t have to be for tomorrow. It can be for six months from now, a year, or yesterday…whenever you’re ready. The timeframe doesn’t make a difference. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly.

“Go ahead,” he encouraged, releasing the box to let her hold it completely. Gwen slowly opened her eyes and met his, hesitating, and not knowing what she was going to encounter when she opened this box. She let out a breath, and slowly tipped the velvet lid up, her eyes falling on the contents. She took a moment to take it all in, seeing four sets of keys in front of her.

“The keys on the far left are your keys to this house,” he explained. “The ones next to it belong to the ranch in Oklahoma. The third one isn’t actually a key at all; it’s a small airplane. As of this morning, your name has been added to the charter company and you have the private plane at your disposal from any airport in the country, on my account.” He let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding in. “The fourth key is symbolic. Mostly because it’s intangible, and you stole the real one a long time ago, but it’s shaped like a heart at the base for a reason, because it’s what you stole from me.”

Gwen couldn’t look at him, she really thought she would have lost it if she tried. Her eyes remained wide on the keys in front of her, no words able to be formed, nothing audible coming out of her mouth. Blake hated the empty air and quickly tried to fill it.

“This is my way of telling you that I want everything. I know things are really complicated with your job, and I don’t know how that’s going to work out or if things could be worked out but…I want _you_. I see myself marrying you one day, Gwen. I see the three of us as a real family eventually. I don’t want you to feel pressured, or like this has to happen tomorrow, because I know it’s complicated and there’s a lot to work out, but I’m putting this on the table. I’m telling you how I feel, and that I’m seriously in love with you, and I’ll wait as long as it takes to happen. I want you to move in with me, when you’re ready. I mean, you can even have free reign and decorate this house anyway you’d like, or we could buy a new one, I don’t care…just…don’t make it look like a donut shop, s’all I ask.” 

He paused, and gave her a grin, trying to lighten the mood a little. Her gaze went up and her tear-filled eyes met his, and she went to open her mouth to respond, but his finger went over her lips immediately. “I want you to think about it. I don’t want you to say anything right now. Can you do that for me?”

Gwen let out a breath and tugged his hand down and moved forward to press her lips hard against his, setting the box to the side as her arms went around his neck and she kissed him deeper. She pulled back to catch her breath and let out a small chuckle, a tear rolling down her cheek at she smiled.

“I love you so much, Blake.”

——

After quite the emotional morning with Blake’s present, they had managed to get up and ready to pack the car and head over to Gwen’s family in Anaheim. She knew her parents home would be filled with relatives, food, and children running around, and it was something she looked forward to every year. She felt calmer about bringing Blake along with her this time, as he ha seemed to win everyone over at Thanksgiving, so in the very least - that hurdle had been cleared. And for that, she was eternally thankful. 

She held his hand the entire car ride out east as she took in the familiar sights of Christmas in California. It dawned on her that she was so concentrated on Blake being next to her, touching her, truly _with_ her, that she didn’t have those gut-wrenching memories surfacing about her ex. California had a particular vibe to it, different than anywhere else she had ever visited with the serenity and palm trees, and even something as simple as that usually gave her horrible flashbacks. They weren’t coming, though, and it was liberating. She felt liberated from him for the first time in years.

Blake’s finger traced circles in her palm as he glanced to Gwen, watching her look out the window. 

“You’re in your own world again,” he mused. “What’cha thinkin’ about?”

“Nothing,” she said, with a big smile as she looked back to him. “Blake, I’m thinking about nothing. And…and it’s so amazing.”

Blake flashed her a curious look before a small smile.

“For the first time in years, I’m sitting here and not thinking about anything bad. I’m sitting here with you, and I have hope.”

He kept his eyes on the road and brought the back of her hand to his lips, planting a kiss there with a smile. “Hope is good.”

“He isn’t California anymore,” she said quietly, her eyes turning back to the window as she squeezed his hand. 

It was those four words that Blake found himself with a bit of hope of his own. 

Once they arrived to the house, Gwen helped Apollo out of the car and he went bolting to the door when he saw Patti standing there, his little arms going around her leg immediately. She was holding a plate of cookies and she laughed a little as she bent down, offering one to Apollo.

“Just what he needs…my mother filling him up with sugar today,” Gwen remarked with a chuckle. Blake came around the side of the truck, tucking his arm around her shoulder as they walked towards the front door together. 

“Hi, Blake!” Patti exclaimed in her over the top mother voice. She smiled and set the platter of cookies aside and hugged him without warning. Blake’s eyes went wide at the immediate affection but soon turned into a grin as he hugged her back, looking over to Gwen with that grin which just did her in. Patti pulled back and and offered the platter out to him. “Gingerbread cookies, we made them fresh this morning, have one, Blake,” she insisted.

“I guess I’ve become an afterthought,” Gwen joked as Patti hugged her daughter. She held her mom tightly as she hugged her back, and once they stepped back she had the platter back in front of her. “You’re too thin. Eat.”

“I keep tryin’ to tell you that,” Blake nudged her and whispered, to which Gwen just rolled her eyes at both of them. She took one of the cookies to shut her mother up for the time being, and they all ventured inside to the rest of the chaos. 

“Gwen!” Jen exclaimed from the far corner of the room, making her way through the crowd of various Stefanis to get over to her. Jen threw her arms around the blonde just before greeting Blake in the same fashion. It really hit her in that moment that Blake seemed to be an accepted part of the family, and she felt a flood of relief. 

“Blake, man,” Gwen heard Todd’s voice come up behind them, as he patted him on the back. “Congrats on your win. We were really happy that your contestant won.” The compliment made Blake smile proudly, as he looked to Gwen then back to Todd.

“You watched my show? That’s…wow, cool, thanks, man. Yeah, he’s a really great singer so I’m glad that he was able to take the title. And you know, nothing is sweeter than getting to beat Adam.”

“Yeah, that little punk rocker sure likes to mess with you, but you deserved to win.”

“Well, thanks. I’ve gotta say though, I’m really glad it’s over. Being away from her those few weeks was literal torture.” He smiled down at Gwen and tugged her close in that moment, kissing her briefly, which made a smile appear on her face, too. She was pulled mentally out of her small talk with Jen as she listened to their encounter, not entirely sure it was real. 

Apollo came running over in that moment and grabbed onto Todd’s leg and started jumping up and down. “Ta! Ta!” he exclaimed, the nickname something he had been calling Todd ever since he was old enough to speak. Todd chuckled a little and swooped down to pick him up into his arms.

“Hi little man! We’re going to have so much fun when you come to stay with us for a week. We’ve got new games and…” suddenly Todd felt Jen nudge him hard, bringing him out of his thoughts. “OW!” he exclaimed. Gwen’s eyes moved between the two of them, and fell on Blake, but he looked away immediately as his eyes were practically popping out of his head. The mood suddenly turned uneasy, uncertain, and Gwen seemed to be the only one that had no idea what was going on.

“Wait, what was that?” Gwen asked. “What do you mean when Apollo comes to stay with you for a week?”

“Great job, Todd,” Jen said, rolling her eyes. Blake’s hand was covering his face, out of embarrassment or uncertainty, she wasn’t sure, but it was all very weird to her. “You’d better come with me and let Blake talk to her now that you’ve ruined everything.”

“I’m sorry, man,” was all Todd said before letting out a breath and walking away with Jen.

“Blake? What’s going on?” 

“Come here,” he said, reaching for her hand. He walked them past the foyer and outside onto the front porch, closing the door behind them. Her eyes were searching his as she waited, confused as to what was going on. 

“You weren’t supposed to find out like that, I’m sorry,” he began. “I really wanted it to be a surprise. I was going to tell you tomorrow, but I guess you’re going to find out now. So uh…” he grinned sheepishly at her.

“Okay, go on,” she encouraged.

“I had this whole elaborate plan to surprise you the day after Christmas to take you to Oklahoma with me for the week, and through New Years. And I talked to Todd a few weeks ago to see if he would mind taking Apollo during that time, and of course he said yes. I promised I would take you back to the ranch, and it’s such a big part of me that I want to share with you. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, I understand that being away from Apollo for that long might be really hard, and I’m so sor—“ Gwen moved forward and pressed her lips against his, which immediately shut him up. He deepened the kiss as his arms went around her, and she smiled as she pulled back slightly. 

“So uh, does that mean…”

“Yes,” she breathed. “Yes to Oklahoma. Besides, I think we need to test my keys, don’t you?”

“Smartest idea I’ve ever heard, darlin’,” he said with a grin, as he relaxed. 

Gwen pushed up on her toes to speak into his ear. “Does that mean we’re going to have alone time? Like, we can do whatever we want and not worry about a toddler walking in on us?”

“Mmhmm,” he responded, his hands tracing circles on the small of her back. 

“I’m not going to be able to walk by the new year, am I?”

“If I had my way, you’d never get out of bed again…”

She bit her lip. “We need to stop, right now, before I jump your bones in front of my family,” she explained, letting out a frustrated sigh. Her hands went to grab onto his hips as she placed one more kiss on his lips, before tugging him to go back inside. He groaned a little bit out of frustration, lightly tapping her ass on the way in before closing the door. 

Gwen pulled her phone out and shot off a quick text.

_Taylor, 911. I need you to run an errand for me. It’s a last minute present for Blake, and I need him to open it tomorrow. I’m with him and I can’t do this alone. Gx_

She tucked her phone away and she took his hand, escorting her back into the family madness.


	36. Santa Baby

“Dadaaaaaaaa!”

Gwen jolted awake as the toddler’s screech broke through the previously dead silence in the room, and she noticed that Blake did the same. Her eyes flashed over to the alarm clock near the bed seeing that it was barely 7 in the morning, and she buried her face back into his chest and let out a groan. Apollo was hitting the bed from the opposite side, trying to get Blake’s attention.

“Dada,” he said again, more insistently. Gwen’s eyebrow raised as she still wasn’t used to the idea that Apollo was calling him that these days, and she looked tentatively up at Blake, worried. Her nerves were calmed though as the corners of his lips turned up into a smile, his heart obviously warmed over the name.

“DADA.”

“Hi buddy,” Blake said finally, stretching as he reached over with a groan and pulled Apollo on the bed with them. Immediately, he stood up and began jumping on the bed and giggling. 

“Pesents,” he said, pointing out to the hallway. “Pesents pesents pesants.”

Gwen chuckled and groaned at the same time, moving to sit up on the bed as she rubbed her eyes. “Come here, little one,” she said, her arms reaching out for him. He came over and gave her a hug, and she kissed his little forehead. She felt Blake’s hand on her lower back as he began to massage it a little before sitting up next to them. He kissed Gwen on the cheek before his arm went around them both. 

“Merry Christmas,” he whispered in his groggy, morning cowboy voice. 

“Merry Christmas, cowboy,” she whispered back with a smile, pressing her lips into his. 

“Pesents,” Apollo said, clearly adding to the conversation. Blake and Gwen both chuckled a little, and she shook her head and pecked him on the forehead again with a kiss. 

“The toddler requests our presence in the living room, it seems,” Gwen said, moving to stand up next to the bed. Apollo jumped a few times and right into her arms. She made an _ooof_ noise as she caught him, because wow, he was seriously getting so big. Blake was next to stand up next to them, and suddenly Apollo held out his arms and leaned towards Blake, forcing him to take him instead of Gwen. She used the opportunity to tug her thick robe around her body and slip into her slippers as the three of them headed out of the bedroom and towards the living room.

They all sat at the base of the Christmas tree as Apollo’s eyes lit up with excitement. He helped Gwen sort through them for each person to get their own pile, and he started getting fussy when she made him wait for Blake to come back over to join them. Blake took a seat on the carpet next to them, pulling Gwen into his lap as he handed her a cup of coffee. She sipped on the hot liquid and set it down nearby on the coffee table, knowing Apollo was about to start ripping through presents. 

“Okay baby, how about you start with this one right here?” she suggested, pushing it towards him and pulling up one of the corners of the wrapping paper to get him started. Blake’s arms went around her in a hug as they both smiled and watched Apollo meticulously pull tiny strips of wrapping paper off of his first present, taking way too much time to open the gift, but loving every minute of it. It was going to be a long morning, but it was one she was absolutely ready for. 

About an hour later of Apollo slowly opening his gifts, he had broken into the one that Blake got him containing a matching cowboy hat with cowboy boots and his very own stick horse. He didn’t quite know what to do with the stick horse at first, but Gwen immediately started regretting showing him as he hadn’t stopped for twenty minutes. He kept yelling “TAG!” as he ran around the living room pretending to be a cowboy, and Gwen and Blake both looked on and started doubling over in laugher. 

“He is absolutely your child,” Blake said through his laughter.

“Oh my god, why?” Gwen said through her own. 

“I mean…just look at him!”

“And he’s back to naming everything “Tag” again, oh god, I thought we got past that.” Gwen shook her head and chuckled, and Blake’s arms tightened around her. He smiled and pulled her in for a soft kiss, and in that moment she had no idea how he was still able to make her entire body tingle.

“Apollo, come here, buddy, why don’t you give your mom her present from you?”

“Present? Blake, what did you do?”

He smiled at her, but didn’t say anything. Apollo came galloping over and Blake handed him a small present, and Apollo held it out to Gwen. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion; she hadn’t even opened this yet, and she was already shocked and beyond touched at the sentiment. Slowly, she unwrapped the paper, and her eyes rested on a picture of the three of them that she recognized was taken at Adam’s house the day after Thanksgiving. She pulled the paper back a little more to reveal the frame it was sitting in, decorated with various buttons, glitter glue, pipe cleaners, and fish stickers (oh, _so_ many fish stickers), and she knew immediately what this meant. Apollo had made it for her. And Blake had helped. 

“See, now why do you go and do things like this?” she asked, her voice breaking as she looked up to him as she stifled back a sob, reacting a lot stronger off the bat than she was even prepared for. The tears ran down her cheeks as she caught her breath, and Blake’s arms went around her immediately. She pulled Apollo into the hug with them, the three of them just staying there like that for a few moments. “When did you even…?”

“When you were at work that day,” Blake explained, stroking her hair back and out of her face. “We had a man day together and it was the best time to take care of Christmas because the only time you’re not with us is when you’re at work.” Blake grinned. “Apollo picked out all of the craft supplies, and I was finding fish stickers on my clothes up until last week, actually.”

Gwen caught her breath in her throat again and had to look away from him, but made the mistake of looking down at the framed picture instead which just made a few more tears fall down. She set the frame in her lap and wiped under her eyes, reaching out to hug both of them again.

“Thank you, baby boy, momma loves it so much,” she managed in a whisper. Apollo jumped up and smiled, mounting the stick horse again and taking off around the living room, causing Gwen to laugh a little and shake her head.

“I got you something, too,” Blake said, sliding a box her way that she recognized instantly as Tiffany’s. She gasped a bit at the blue box, knowing whatever was inside was going to be really expensive. 

“Blake…it’s Tiffany’s…it’s too expensive,” Gwen let out a breath, as she took it from him. He kissed her on the neck as his arms went around her again.

“You haven’t even opened it yet, darlin’,” he said with a chuckle. 

She pulled at the white bow, unravelling it and letting it fall to the side as she pulled out the box, opening it to reveal a necklace. Gwen looked a little closer and realized the pendant was in the shape of an infinity sign, and made of diamonds. She gasped a little as she pulled it gently from the box, holding it up into the air as she froze, just staring at it.

“Do you like it? The uh, girl at the store said that’s supposed to be an infinity sign and well, it just kinda made sense to me that it was what I wanted to get you, because that’s how long I want to be with you.” He seemed a little nervous as he waited impatiently for a reply, and Gwen was trying, but she was just having such a hard time forming the words. She was choking on her own hesitation, and soon a few more tears fell down her cheek. She snapped back to reality and looked at him, nodding profusely and smiling hugely as her hand went over her mouth.

“I’m so speechless,” she whispered. 

Blake took that as a good sign and smiled, taking the necklace out of her hand and undoing the clasp. She pulled her hair onto one shoulder and he brought it around her neck, securing it in place and planting a small kiss there. Her fingers went to the pendant and she held it against her, letting out a breath. Gwen turned and kissed him deeply, as she fought her hardest to stop the sobs that she was holding in her chest.

Her head snapped over to him as she suddenly remembered that she had a gift for him too, one that he hadn’t opened yet. “I have one more for you, I forgot,” she lied, mostly because she planned it on purpose for it to be the last gift to be opened that morning. She crawled over behind the tree where a flat, rectangular gift was hiding, and she sat it in his lap as she waited impatiently for him to open it. Blake gave her a curious look and a grin. His hand reached for the corner of the wrapping paper, but before he could start to open it, Gwen’s hand stopped him.

He looked at her expectantly, and their eyes met.

“I love you,” was all she said, and she squeezed his hand before letting go.

“I love you,” he responded.

“Go ahead,” she nodded.

He tore the paper back as he watched her for a moment, before his attention went down to the gift in his lap. His hands felt something rough, which confused him, but once the paper was torn away his eyes widened. He was holding a tan and black welcome mat for the front porch, with a small note taped in the corner.

_For OUR home. I’m ready. -G_

“Gwen, does this mean…?”

She let out a breath and smiled. “Yeah, it does.”

Blake was in shock, and Gwen couldn’t help but let out a chuckle after a minute of him just staring at the mat in his lap, almost as if he didn’t believe it was really happening. Suddenly, he moved the mat out of his lap and moved forward, pulling her into him roughly and kissing her deeply. She moved forward and straddled his lap, her arms around his neck as she deepened the kiss.

He pulled back. “How?”

“I uh…” she bit her lip, and looked away for a moment. Her eyes moved back to him, even though she felt guilty not having told him sooner. “Blake, the job that I have…it was never actually supposed to be in Atlanta,” she explained. “I got the promotion, and I begged my company to get me out of California and let me work in any other office in the country. Atlanta had the space and they let me relocate there, even though the biggest design teams are based in California. Atlanta was a favor. If I called them and told them I was willing to move back to LA, they would make it happen as fast as possible.” She paused, before continuing. “I admitted to you that I ran away after my divorce, and that’s true. I feel ashamed about that. But I’m not coming back to that California. I’m coming back to a California with _you_ in it, and that’s been such a different experience so far. He isn’t my California anymore. You are, Blake.” 

He kissed her again, his arms tightening around her. “When?”

Gwen let out a small chuckle obviously amused by his short, one word inquiries. “I need to talk to them, work some things out, get some things transferred. But it wouldn’t take more than a few weeks to sort out, especially because it’s slow in January.”

“Are you sure? Are you sure I’m…” Blake let out a breath, as he was trying to find the words. “Gwen, are you sure you want to be with me?”

“Infinity,” she whispered with a nod, her finger touching the pendant on her necklace. 

“Oh my god!” Blake exclaimed, as if it had just hit him. Gwen started laughing, his eyes going to Apollo. “You’re moving in!” His mind seemed to reel, processing, as he was just in shock that it was happening so fast. “You need to decorate. And, Apollo needs new furniture, and maybe a dog, because little boys should grow up with dogs, and…” Gwen’s finger came up over his lips to stop him, which brought him back down to earth, if only for a moment.

“….closet. Oh my god, I need to build you a new closet. I’ve seen yours. We might have to knock the entire guest room out for that. I mean Gwen, you use your oven as a place to store your sweaters, there’s not enough room here, and we need to think about that.”

Gwen was laughing at his small freak out, and she took his cheeks into her hands as she stopped him to look at her. “Calm down, cowboy, we will figure everything out,” she shook her head and moved forward, planing a long kiss on his lips, which seemed to help.

“But what about —“

“Shhhhh…” Gwen cut him off, her finger back on his lips.

“But—“

She kissed him again, realizing that was probably the only way to shut him up.

——

Her instructions had been clear to him; he was to lay on the bed, eyes closed, and wait. Blake didn’t know what he was waiting for, or what was going on, but something was up. Gwen insisted he listen, as she had one final present for him that evening that she had been waiting to give him. His mind definitely went places with that one, but he was utterly clueless as to what it would actually be.

Gwen had been hiding in the master bath for an hour. She straightened her long, blonde locks and curled the ends. Her make up was playful, a soft smoky eye and bright, cherry red lipstick. She even went as far as to glue fake lashes on, because she was really going all out. She slipped into a tiny red g-string and a t-back baby doll slip that had an open slit up the front and just barely covered her breasts. It was sexy as hell, and was definitely not something she donned on an average night around him. 

She reapplied her lipstick right before she secured a santa hat to her hair with bobby pins, and slipped into a pair of four inch heels. Once she made sure she was perfect, and definitely in the holiday spirit, she smiled to herself in the mirror and her hand went to the doorknob.

“Are you still laying down with your eyes closed, baby?” she called out into the bedroom.

“Yes, sweetheart.”

Silence. 

It was dead silent for the next few moments. Blake was starting to get a little confused, and his confusion only grew once he heard soft music begin to play. He recognized the tune, it was so familiar, but he couldn’t quite remember…

_Ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum, ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum…_

It hit him out of nowhere as he realized it was the intro to _Santa Baby_ , and his eyes opened and his head whipped around to the bathroom door where Gwen was perched up on the door frame, smiling at him wickedly. One look at her in that skimpy lingerie and his erection was growing at an astronomical pace.

  
_Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me_  
_Been an awful good girl_  
_Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight_  
  


Gwen began to saunter over to him, and Blake’s legs swung off on the side of the bed as she came over. Her hips swayed a little with the music, and he went to grasp her hips, but she shook her head and moved his hands off of her.

  
_Santa baby, a 54 convertible too,_  
_Light blue._  
_I'll wait up for you dear,_  
_Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight._  
  


She brought her leg up and pushed into his chest lightly with the heel, forcing his back onto the mattress. His hands reached out for her again and she spanked them off of her with a giggle, shaking her head. Her knees dipped onto the mattress as she began to crawl and hover over top of him, arching her body down onto him to give him a wicked view.

  
_Think of all the fun I've missed,_  
_Think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed,_  
_Next year I could be just as good,_  
_If you'll check off my Christmas list..._  
  


She ducked forward suddenly and licked up the entire side of his neck from his shoulder blade to his ear. She took his ear in between her teeth and nibbled at it a little bit. His hands came up behind her and grabbed her ass, and his head snapped back as she grabbed them off of her body and pinned them above his head. Gwen sat on his stomach and clenched her thighs to squeeze him in between her legs as she bit her lip, knowing that being so close to his erection might actually push him over the edge all by itself. She let out a giggle as she watched him squirm in anticipation underneath him.

“Fuck, Gwen,” he groaned, trying to move out of her grasp but giving up.

“Shhh…” she warned, as she moved forward and began kissing down his neck, leaving imprints of her lips there from the lipstick she was wearing. She let go of his hands and snaked down his body in one quick move, pulling his boxers down and taking his length into her mouth as she began sucking.

  
_Santa baby, I wanna yacht,_  
_And really that's not a lot,_  
_Been an angel all year,_  
_Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight._  
  


Blake’s breath hitched as she began to suck harder and he let out a groan. His eyes went down and met hers and stayed locked there as she continued to suck, smiling through her handiwork as her lipstick began to smear over him, marking him as her own. Her hands rested on his inner thighs as she lightly dragged her nails along there, which made him quiver with anticipation.

She began moving at a faster pace, getting her hands involved as she took as much of him into her as possible. Gwen knew she was getting him close to the edge and could see it in his eyes. He lost control of his hands as they went to Gwen’s head, and he had to fight to not bury he mouth onto him and suffocate her as she deliberately teased him closer, and closer. She swirled her tongue and changed patterns without warning, which ultimately sent him groaning and over the edge, spilling into her mouth and he couldn’t even see straight any longer. His eyes opened long enough to see her peering up at him, swallowing devilishly with a grin as his head snapped back again in an attempt to find his composure again. She placed little kisses on the insides of his thighs as a tease and he groaned.

A sudden thumping noise came from their bedroom door and Blake jumped. On instinct, Blake grabbed Gwen by the shoulders and pulled her up next to him, throwing one of the sheets around her body to cover her as the door flew open and Apollo came running in, obviously having woken up in the middle of the night. Quicker than lightning, Blake tugged his boxer shorts up and covered himself as the toddler whined and came to the bed, putting his arms up and asking to be pulled up with them.

“Oh my god,” Gwen whispered, in a panic, and Apollo looked over at her. “Hi, baby!” she said in her squealy mom voice and a nervous smile, tugging the sheet tight around her body as she sat into a sitting position. Blake reached down and pulled Apollo onto the bed with them, and his little head went to rest against Blake’s chest immediately. 

“Did you wake up, little man?” Blake asked, rubbing his back. Gwen was still in a state of shock, her eyes wide as she looked at Blake. He looked back and her and started chuckling a bit, entertained by how frightened she was.

“What do I do?” she asked through gritted teeth. Blake started laughing at her again, and her eyes went wide.

“Blake! Oh my god!”

“Gwen, you can’t sit here and say this isn’t funny,” Blake said, continuing to laugh. There was something contagious about it, though, and soon she started laughing right along with him. She let out a groan as she held the sheet against her body tightly, and bit her lip. 

“I’m just going to…” she said, gesturing for the master bath, and he nodded with a smile. She leaned over to kiss his cheek and made a move to come off the bed, but he tugged her back lightly by the arm. 

“You _better_ bring that outfit with us to Oklahoma."


	37. Freeze

If she was honest with herself, the idea of leaving Apollo with Todd and Jen terrified her.

Not because she didn’t trust them, of course she did, but especially since the divorce, Apollo had clung onto her tighter than ever. She couldn’t blame him, she felt like on some level Apollo knew his dad didn’t want to be in his life, and that broke her heart. Gwen also knew that she had always been the one constant in his life and they had a strong bond with one another, but that bond also made things complicated. Apollo never wanted to leave her. He preferred seeing Gwen at all times when she was around, and it was often that daycare drop offs had been a nightmare. 

It had been a magical blessing for him to take so quickly to Blake, and the two of them seemed to be building a stronger bond each day. Gwen noticed that Apollo had almost equaled them out, sometimes even preferring or wanting Blake over her, which was shocking when she thought about it but she couldn’t have asked for anything better. Without saying anything, Gwen knew deep down how Blake felt about both of them, and the thought of him maybe officially becoming his dad someday…wow, she couldn’t have thought of anything better than that.

While it was so great that they built that bond together, Apollo wasn’t quite there with others. Of course, he loved his ‘Uncle Ta’ and Aunt Jen, but it was going to be a huge thing for him to stay with them for as long as they were planning on being in Oklahoma. Mentally, she prepared herself on the possibility of coming back early if he was unmanageable, because that has happened before. She hated the thought of that, and on the other hand she hated the thought of leaving him, too. She was going to miss him. Hell, she remembered how guilty she felt the night she met Blake when Apollo had stayed with Lizzy’s kids and the babysitter, and that was only for a night.

The three of them arrived early to Todd and Jen’s, and the moment the door open, Apollo giggled and went full speed ahead, charging inside to go find his cousins. Gwen’s eyes widened a bit, not expecting that level of enthusiasm or ease. After a little bit of small talk and dropping the bags in the foyer, they hugged everyone goodbye and began walking back out to the truck, ready to head to the airport.

Gwen stopped at the passenger door of Blake’s truck and hesitated. She didn’t open the door, but her hand just rested on the handle. “I feel guilty. I feel so selfish,” she finally said, as she felt Blake’s eyes on her and turned to meet them.

“Leaving Apollo?” he asked, quietly.

Gwen nodded. 

“Gwen, you’re an amazing mom,” Blake began. “And what you’re doing right now - you’re actually doing a really good thing for him.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re letting yourself have a break. You’re a single mother, you’re at this by yourself all the time and that’s a lot for anyone to handle. It’s going to drive you crazy one day. You need to take time for yourself.” He drew closer to her in that moment, his arms sliding around her waist as his voice lowered. “You need to release all of the stress you build up.”

Her eyes went up to his again as she bit her lip, rocking her hips once against him. “You planning on helping me with that?”

Blake let out a chuckle, and kissed the top of her head as he pulled her into a hug. “Remember, if I had my way, you won’t be walkin’ by the new year, darlin’,” he said, with a small, mischievous smile. 

The car ride to the airport was uneventful, and before she knew it, they were tugging their luggage out of the back of the truck and starting to bring it inside the plane.

“Babe, you probably want to pull out your thicker coat from your luggage before you stow it under the plane,” Blake called over to her.

“What? Oh, it’s fine, I’m already wearing it.” She shrugged it off as if it was nothing, and continued to pull the wheeled luggage to the side. 

“Gwen, have you ever been out of California?”

“Why yes, Blake, I actually live in Georgia,” she quipped, sticking her tongue out at him and laughing.

“Ok, smart one. Let’s try this one. Have you ever been anywhere with snow before?”

“Mmmm…” she thought for a second, and then shrugged. “Not when it’s been snowing, I guess.”

“Gwen, you’re going to get frost bite wearing that thin coat. Especially you. You won’t even make it off the plane.”

“Blake, I’m sure it’ll be fine.” His eyes widened at her words, and she quickly followed up. “Oh my god, I’m always cold, why do you think this would be any different?”

_One full plane ride from LA to Oklahoma City later…_

“Blake, this is WAAAAY different!” Gwen squealed as she hovered in the doorframe of the plane and retreated back inside. Her arms crossed and she shivered, pulling her gloves from her pocket and tugging them furiously over her iced fingers. 

“Look who didn’t make it off the plane,” Blake mumbled. 

“Blake, that’s not my fault. You didn’t tell me it was like that!”

“I literally said that you were going to get frost bite and you said you didn’t believe me. How could I have made that sound worse?”

“Uhmm…” she contemplated for a moment. “You could have said Oklahoma is a maze of cavernous ice structures where frost comes alive like wild animals and chases after you until you die a cold, frozen death?”

There was silence between them for a moment, before they both started bursting out in laughter.

“Gwen…what does any of that even mean?”

“I have no idea,” she giggled, putting her hands on her face.

“You’re lucky I have _two_ jackets for this kind of weather,” he said, taking a few steps behind her and picking up one of his jackets from the chair. “I pulled it out of my suitcase because I had a feeling this might happen.” He draped it over her arms and zipped it up the front, and her arms went into it and she clenched the fabric against her immediately. It swallowed her whole, and looked really weird on her with her own jacket underneath, but it was toasty.

“Better?”

Gwen nodded fast and pushed up on her toes to kiss him on the lips, smiling through her gesture. 

“Come on. First stop, Cabela’s.”

“Cabba-what?”

He chuckled. “We’re going to buy you a coat.”

——

The store Blake took her to was huge. It was lined with so many different things, from camping gear to fishing gear, mostly a lot of things she had no idea what they were for. There were taxidermy animals hanging on the walls as well as huge gun displays, and Gwen’s eyes couldn’t even manage to figure out where to look as everything was just so new.

“Did that used to be alive?” she asked, as they passed by a very large moose on the wall.

“His name was Alfred. He died of natural causes,” Blake quipped, trying to lighten the mood as he grinned at her a little. He watched her for a moment. “All of this is pretty new for you, hmm?”

“It’s weird,” she answered honestly. “I dunno. Just stuff I don’t know anything about, I guess.” She paused, suddenly finding new anxiety in that fact. Did Blake want her to learn about all of this stuff? Did he want her to start fishing with him or something? Was she going to have to buy a tent and learn to camp one day? Did Blake think she was someone that she really wasn’t? Was she going to start designing camouflage pieces? 

“Yeah, I’d imagine it’s pretty weird to you with where you grew up. I grew up here, so it was normal.”

“Hmmm,” she responded, filing her sudden burst of thoughts away for the time being. This was the first time that their stark differences really hit her. She’d come back to that later. 

Gwen tugged the huge jacket around her body as she noticed some people started to stare at her. She felt self-conscious, as a few twenty-somethings were gesturing over at her. She found herself taking a few steps closer to Blake, her arm hooking around his as she forced her gaze away from them. Blake felt her change of demeanor and his eyes fell down on her, his arm going around her shoulders and bringing her closer to him. That brought her eyes up to him and she offered him a small smile. 

“This one. Try this one,” Blake said, pulling a knee-length deep pink coat off of the rack. Gwen nodded and unzipped out of his jacket, tugged her peacoat off, and Blake brought it around her shoulders and she slid into it quickly. She zipped it up and looked at him with a questioning, expectant look. Blake took the tie around the waist and tugged her forward towards him with it, knotting it for her as he grinned.

“What do you think?’

“Is it too big?” she asked, looking down at it. “It’s sooooo long."

“Nah. You don’t want it too tight because you’ll probably want to wear sweaters under it.” He paused. “Do you like it?”

“Blake, it’s pink, it’s perfect,” she said with a small laugh, and he grinned and tugged her forward for a quick kiss on the lips. “And it’s warm too, so that’s a plus.”

Gwen’s attention was drawn away as she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye. Someone was holding a camera phone up and snapping a picture as the two of them kissed, which caused Gwen to move behind Blake and to the other side of him, unsure. 

“It really is Blake Shelton!” she heard one of them call back to their friends, and soon a few more people appeared at the end of the isle and Gwen froze, unsure as to how to handle it. She already knew reporters with cameras made her uneasy, but she hadn’t exactly been exposed to random fans running into him on the streets.

“S’okay,” Blake said, nudging her a little bit. Gwen nodded in response and Blake took a few steps forward as the fans approached him. Gwen kept her eyes on him but purposefully stayed back from them. 

“Hey guys, Merry Christmas!” Blake said warmly with a smile to them.

“Blake, I’ve been a huge fan of yours since I was ten years old and I don’t wanna bother you but can we take a picture with you? It would seriously make my entire year!”

“Of course, that’s no problem at all, what’s your name?”

“Louise! And this is Chuck, Shelby, Chelsea, and Stacie…” she said quickly, and it was endearing how nervous the young girl seemed to be talking to Blake. 

Gwen noticed he had this amazing, general ease as he talked to these kids who clearly just adored him. It warmed her heart to watch them, and Blake not only took one picture with them, but he was super gracious and took multiples and even agreed to do a sorority hand sign for one of the girls. She chuckled a little to herself as she watched him try to do that one, and she was having trouble peeling her eyes off of him.

“Does Gwen want to come take a picture too?” one of the girls asked, a bit tentatively. “I mean she’s amazing and I want to be as talented of a fashion designer as her one day…"

“Oh, I uh…” Blake looked over to Gwen, who looked a little stunned as Oklahoma was the last place she thought anyone would care or really know about the work she did. “I’m not sure if…”

“…Blake, it’s okay,” she said softly, taking a few steps towards them with a soft smile on her face. “I just…wow, I can’t believe someone knows anything about me. Especially with Blake in the room.”

Blake’s arm went around Gwen’s waist as she joined them, and they all pulled into the frame tight as they snapped a few pictures. They said their goodbyes and went back to retrieve their cart, continuing around the store to pick up a few more thicker items of clothing for Gwen.

“Wow, I’m not sure if I could ever get used to that,” Gwen said, her eyes going up to Blake. “That was surreal. And to be honest, I really forget how famous you are sometimes. You’re just so…normal. And you’re my boyfriend, so anything else is just like, so weird.”

“I still love that word,” Blake said with a grin, his arm tightening around her a little as he smiled. “You’ll get used to it. Out here it’s a lot more low key than LA, people are really nice and respectful so I always do what I can.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Blake,” she said, leaning her head against him. “I mean, it’s so cool to watch how great you are with your fans.”

Blake picked up a few pairs of thick socks and tossed them into the cart. “I know I’m not anything without the people that like my music. I’m very grateful.”

They went through the checkout line and once Blake took care of the balance, they walked to the car together, arms around one another. Gwen climbed in the front seat as Blake loaded the bags into the back, soon joining her in the driver’s seat. He reached and took her bare hand, remembering it was ice on contact, and he squeezed it a little.

“Gloves,” was all he said, reaching into the backseat and digging through one of the bags to find the gloves they had just bought her. He handed them to her and she pulled them over her hands immediately, reaching out to take his hand in hers again. 

“I would die without you, babe.”

Blake smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. “How about we make a run to the grocery store before we head to the ranch so I can cook tonight,” he suggested. “There’s this giant fireplace I have in the living room that I can’t wait to get you in front of, either.”

“Fireplace! That’s rad! And…sounds really romantic,” she said, with a smile. “Have you ever fucked a girl in front of your fireplace, Blake?”

“Not yet, but I’m ready and willing to try anything once."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take a moment to dedicate this chapter to Chuck.
> 
> I always look forward to reading your comments and reactions and I'm so glad you like this story. Your support means the world to me. Sending you love <3
> 
> Also, Merry Christmas everyone <3


	38. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS
> 
> Have a second update for today <3

It was pitch black outside, and all of the lights in the house were off. Light instrumental music was playing in the background, and honestly, it surprised Gwen that Blake kept such a record in his collection at first. The fire in the giant fireplace was blazing, a few candles placed here and there to offer additional aroma and illumination. The exquisite bottle of red they were sharing was half empty, and there were various pillows and blankets strewn about on the couch. Gwen was straddling him, facing him as she placed light, delicate kisses along his jawline. It was a secluded paradise that she never wanted to end.

She felt his warm hands stroke up and down her back gently, her own body reacting and moving towards his closer. It was an odd feeling, one that she hadn’t had before of feeling like she had escaped into the middle of nowhere, leaving her worries and problems behind. Of course, Tish really was the middle of nowhere, but she had no idea how liberating it all would feel knowing she was acres away from anyone else - except Blake.

Gwen continued to plant light kisses on him, as her thoughts began to wander. She continued for a bit, keeping herself distracted, but soon had the urge to talk to him about what was on her mind. With Blake’s hands holding her waist to help, she bent back and reached for her wine on the coffee table, taking a few sips before setting it down and coming back to him. Her hands rested on the nape of his neck, giving him a quick kiss on his nose.

“Is your family going to hate me?”

Blake’s face turned instantly into a look of confusion, and then concern. He almost lashed out to immediately kill any negative feelings about his family not liking her, but he was honestly so shocked by her raw question that he couldn’t find the words.

“Tell me why you’re askin’ me that,” Blake said, his hand coming up to run through her hair as he kept his eyes intently on her. 

Her voice was quiet. “Because I don’t fit in here. Because we have a lot of differences. And I’m nothing like _her_.”

Blake closed the distance between their lips as he kissed her slowly, her arms tightening around him a bit. He broke their contact and kept his eyes locked on her. He seemed as if he was about to say something, but she cut in quickly before he could get a word out.

“It’s just that I love you so much, Blake, and I’m really nervous about tomorrow. I really need this to go well because I don’t know what I’d do if I lose you because your family doesn’t like me.”

“Sweetheart, you have nothing to worry about,” he responded immediately. “You’re the most amazing and kind woman I’ve ever brought home to my mom, and she’s going to love you. You make me so happy, and we take care of each other. That’s what’s important.”

“Should I have bought camo or something to wear? Like I don’t even think I have clothes that I can go to your mother’s house in tomorrow. I don’t know what I’m doing here, Blake.” She paused. “And…and what are we going to talk about? I can’t cook to save my life, and I know she taught you how to do that, and I don’t know how to camp, or fish, or enjoy getting my shoes dirty…”

“…you don’t need to know how to do any of that, Gwen. Wear your clothes. Be yourself. Honestly, the fact that you’re so different from my ex is probably going to be a breath of fresh air.”

“I just keep thinking back to when you said Taylor comes to family functions and she fits in just fine because she knows how to ride those four wheeled things, or whatever, and then thinking that I wouldn’t know the front from the back of one and I’m just not going to be enough for them.” She let out a breath. “And…and I have a kid. And baggage. And a lot of things that moms don’t generally like for their sons who have already been through a divorce. I’m not famous. What if she thinks I’m like, after your money or something?” The final thought was a new realization that hit her like a freight train as her eyes widened. It wasn’t something she had ever thought of before, but now it was painfully obvious that it would be something that one could think. It never crossed her mind because it was the furthest thing from the truth, but oh god, that would be terrible.

“My mom told me the other day that she is literally over the moon excited to meet you. You wanna know why?” he said, pausing for her attention to come back to him. “Because she said she’s never seen me this happy in my entire life, and that anyone who has the ability to make me feel this alive is someone she already adores. She saw me with Miranda. She knew I was miserable. And after the divorce, I got worse, and deep into alcohol. She tells me every time I talk to her that you saved me from that, and Gwen, she’s right.”

Gwen leaned forward and kissed him, and he reciprocated as his hands tightened on her back to hold her close.

“What if…what if I don’t want to learn how to hunt? Guns scare me, and the idea of killing an animal…” she shook her head.

Blake let out a chuckle. “Gwen, that’s not important to me,” he replied. “I already know you don’t eat meat, so it’s really not surprisin’, darlin’.” He paused, before adding, “Baby, you don’t need to change. We have some differences, but we have the same values, and want the same things. And god, I’ve really never been this happy with anyone, ever.”

“I feel the same way,” she said, a smile finally creeping onto her features. She let out a small chuckle. “I’m sorry. I must be exhausting sometimes but…I really am trying to be open with you about everything I’m feeling. I don’t want to hide even if its my first instinct.”

“You’re doing amazin’,” he smiled at her. “That’s all I ever want is for you to be honest with me. Even if you think it’s crazy.”

Gwen tilted back a little, reaching for her wine again and taking a sip, finishing off the glass and setting it back down. Her lips found his immediately after that, as she smiled against his lips. “So, Blake,” she whispered, hovering back just half an inch away from his lips as her eyes met with his. “If I let you take all of my clothes off right now, would you promise to keep me warm?”

Her sudden change into a playful demeanor caused him to grin wildly in surprise, letting out a chuckle as he nibbled at her bottom lip. “Well darlin’, I do consider myself a gentleman…I can’t let a lady get cold, now, could I?”

“Do you want to take all of my clothes off, Blake?”

His hands tightened on her hips and he all but let out a grunt over her teasing words, already feeling the frustration creeping up on him. “Is that even a real question?”

“A real question that needs a real answer, Blake.”

“Yes.”

“Yes _what_?”

He paused, letting his hands wander over her body as he kept his eyes deliciously locked with hers. Gwen bit her lip as her hips rocked into him a little, not daring to break eye contact. She refused to be the one to do so.

“Yes, I want to strip you naked and take you on this couch. I want you to squirm, and buck, and scream my name as I hold you down…”

“…and…?” her breath was shaky, anticipatory. Needy. 

“…and make you come so hard that you nearly pass out.”

She pressed her lips roughly into his and her arms tightened around his neck, pushing her body into him as she began to make out with him. He very quickly pulled her sweater off and over her head, and in a matter of seconds he had her flipped onto her back on the couch as he deepened the kisses between them. His knee rested at her center and gently grinded up into her, parting her legs and teasing her as their lips clashed again. Gwen felt her thighs clenching at him already, the warmth of the nearby fireplace hitting her bare skin. She felt her cheeks flush as their bodies created more friction, their make out session intense and rough as hands grabbed for one another and body parts were grinding, searching for comfort and release. 

Blake pulled up for a second and discarded his shirt, pressing his chest fully against her and trapping her body against the couch. She clung to him tightly, kissing down his neck roughly as she gave herself a chance to catch her breath. He turned her head to expose her neck to him and he went in for the kill, sucking relentlessly. Marking her as his own. Her breath hitched as she felt a shiver go down her spine from the sensation, her hands tightening on his arms as she moaned and moved her thighs up against his knee, trying to build the friction. 

Her jeans and underwear were the next to come off in one, quick motion, leaving her laying on the couch in just her bra - but that didn’t last long, either. After pressing his lips into her once more, his hand was pulling at the band on her back until it broke free, and he discarded it with a flick of the wrist. His arms went around her back as he took hold of her, moving into her deeply to kiss her as her body felt as if it was on fire. Her naked skin against his sent her head into a cloud, and the fact that he still had his jeans on was such a goddamn tease.

“Get…them off…” was all she could manage, her voice rough as her legs wrapped around him loosely now as she bucked her hips up into him. 

He let out a chuckle. “You have to stop humping me, first. I don’t think you can.”

Gwen whined as her hips bucked again. “Help meeeee.” His lips hit hers roughly and she nibbled at his bottom lip, her hands tightening on his arms again. “Blake, come on, please help me, please…” she begged, as her hands slid down and grabbed onto his hips roughly, as she bucked up into him again. 

“You’re so horny tonight, baby, it’s fucking hot,” he breathed against her skin. “And you’re so wet you’ve already wet my jeans. Tell me what you want, Gwen.” He was fucking with her now, and she was already beyond frustrated. 

“Blake, _please_ ,” she pleaded again. 

“Tell me what you want.” Amazing how quickly the tables had turned. 

She hesitated to reply, and in those moments his finger dipped down and traced lightly along the length of her center, which sent her hips into another buck and her mind into a cloud. She let out a loud moan as she bit her lip, writhing in anticipation underneath him. 

“I want you to make me scream again,” she said, hoarsely, as she tightened around him. “I want you. _Everywhere_.”

His zipper came down, his jeans unbuttoned, but he didn’t bother to even push them off as he just brought them down enough to reach for his dick, line it up quickly and push into her suddenly. She gasped and let out a moan, his lips covering hers as he went in deeper, an attempt to stifle her scream. Her hands rested on his hips and she pulled him into her harder, and before he even settled he started to hit into her relentlessly.

That was the thing about being in the middle of nowhere, though - he didn’t have to worry about keeping her quiet this time. 

If Gwen was able to focus, she probably would have been embarrassed over how loud she was with each thrust into her. She was crying out his name, and he was getting even harder over her sheer enthusiasm. Her head snapped back and she bit her lip hard, her hands resting on his ass as she dug her nails into him roughly, bringing him into her as she pushed up and she felt herself falling over the edge, falling apart underneath him. He pulled out once more and thrust into her roughly, just enough to begin riding out his own orgasm simultaneously. 

Her eyes closed and she felt him slump over on top of her, the heat from their frictioned bodies radiating between them. Her cheeks felt hot once the heat from the fireplace was once again realized, but she couldn’t move. Not yet.

——

The fireplace had calmed to a dull roar by the time her eyes opened once more. The music had cut off, replaced by the faint sounds of the southern night - faint crickets chirping, and something that sounded like an owl cooing from far away. It took her a moment to remember where she was, and a smile came across her lips as her eyes rested on the sleepy cowboy piled on top of her. His head was resting against her naked chest, just below her breasts, his arms wrapped protectively around her midsection as he was dozing away. Her hands slid up his back and one travelled to rest on the back of his head, gently massaging his curls in between her fingers.

“Blake, baby,” she whispered, her nails massaging his scalp. She wiggled under him a little and he shifted, turning his head up sleepily to Gwen. She smiled as their eyes met. “Mission accomplished. You made me pass out.”

He grinned and moved up her body, still holding her protectively close to him as he placed a kiss on her lips. Gwen pushed up into him and moved both of them into a sitting position, unexpectedly pulling back as her hand went to her head.

“Whoa,” she whispered. Blake’s hand came up to cover hers and he kissed her forehead.

“You okay?”

“You’ve exhausted me, Blake Shelton,” she said, with a giggle. Gwen’s head shook a little and she moved forward to kiss him again, her arms draped loosely around his shoulders. “You’re right though, fireplace sex is probably my new favorite.”

“Everything is your favorite, baby.”

They both laughed at his comment. “I can’t help that I want to jump you all the time. Literally. It’s a sickness.”

“Hope you’re not lookin’ for a cure.”

She smiled, and pushed her lips into his. “Never,” she whispered. “Mmmm…if you keep this up, I really will lose my ability to walk.”

“That’s okay. You’re tiny, and I will carry you. It’ll be totally worth it.” Those dimples came out again and she swore, they could have given her a heart attack. 

Blake noticed Gwen shiver, and he ran his hands up and down her shoulders. It still amazed him how easily she got cold, but it was something that was so cute and endearing about her. Plus, it made him feel needed as he got to be the lucky one to warm her back up. 

“Come on, let’s go get you sandwiched in between all the blankets in the bedroom.”

She moved forward, kissing him again.

“Only if a cowboy’s in that sandwich, too."


	39. Family Ties

His arms went around her, and worrying was over.

From the early morning hours when the two of them got to sneak in a little more cuddling, to how Blake quietly slid up behind her and wrapped his arms at her waist as she poured coffee - she was calmed. Blake knew she was particularly nervous that morning going to meet his mom, and he wanted to try to do what he could to keep her grounded. Reassured. Even though they talked about it and she shared how anxious she felt, he knew it was probably built up higher in her head and she needed it. She needed him to pull her back to reality. 

Her blonde locks were straightened with slight curls on the ends, and her make up was done up to enhance her brows and her lips, but she kept the rest of her face pretty neutral. Her first instinct was to pull on dark denim, which she did as she surveyed the rest of her suitcase and pulled out her tall boots to pair with them. She pulled both on quickly as she knew she would be less likely to change her mind if she put them on her body versus simply staring at them. She had four sweater choices laid out across the bed as she stood there in her bra, her eyes going up to Blake when he came back into the bedroom. He gave her a bit of a questioning look, which she deflected. 

“I just…don’t know what to wear.”

His arms went around her again from behind, his chin resting on her shoulder as he looked on with her. God, those arms were going to save her.

“The red one is my favorite,” he said finally, after giving it some thought and looking at each sweater, meticulously laid out in front of them.

“Red one it is.” She turned back a little to face him and pecked him on the lips before reaching forward and pulling the sweater from the pile, setting it aside from the rest. She turned and smiled again, giving him another kiss on the lips, this time longer. 

Blake pulled back, giving her a curious look. “What’s on your neck?”

“What?” she asked, looking down at herself. Blake brought his hand up and moved her hair to expose the skin on the side of her neck, and his eyes went wide, which only made Gwen panic. “Blake, oh my god, what is it?”

“You might need to wear a scarf, babe.”

Her eyes went wide again, understanding what he was trying to tell her as she pushed by him and found a mirror. She had missed it that morning as she needed a full side view of her neck to see it, but sitting very high and prominent there was evidence of Blake marking her from the night before. 

“Oh my god,” she breathed, her head whipping back around to Blake in a state of shock. “I literally should kill you right now.” Her hand was over her mouth as she froze for a moment, before she took a few steps forward to her suitcase and started digging out all of the scarves she had packed, tossing them up on the bed. Blake watched her, trying to hold back his laughter. She stood up and stared down at them.

“Gwen, baby, come on,” Blake said with a small chuckle, placing a kiss on her cheek. “It’ll be okay. You’ll just cover it up with a scarf and nobody will know…you’re always cold anyways, you can just keep it on. Besides…” he turned her to face him, their eyes locked, “…you can’t say last night wasn’t totally worth the small inconvenience of having to hide a hickey, now, can you?”

Her cheeks felt warm as a small smile to her features. “No. You were worth it,” the words came just above a whisper as her arms squeezed his torso. He planted a kiss on her forehead and grinned. 

“Looks like I did pretty good, huh?”

His comment made Gwen laugh immediately, releasing the tension she had built up so quickly. “You’re crazy.”

“I’m just saying, babe, that’s a good looking hickey, I’m pretty damn proud of that actually.”

Gwen was still giggling as her face buried into his chest, shaking her head as she was at a loss for words. She turned her head up to look at him, her chin resting on his chest as her hands tightened around the fabric of his shirt at his sides.

“Keep talking like that and I might have to send you to your mom’s house with one of your own.”

“I hope that’s a threat you’d be willing to make good on…”

Her arms went up around him, pulling him down to her as she planted a deep kiss on his lips, sliding her tongue inside of his mouth and letting it deepen. His hands went to her sides, right where the top of her jeans met her bare stomach as he squeezed her gently towards him, continuing to kiss her.

“Maybe we didn’t get all of the tension out of you last night…” Blake whispered in her ear, as his hand came up behind her back and unsnapped her bra. “You’re still a little wound up.”

Gwen moaned into his mouth as his hands led the bra down her arms, and he discarded it to the side. He moved her back a step and gently laid her back on the mattress, hovering over top of her as she bit her lip. He dipped down and took her bottom lip in between his teeth instead, sliding his arms back around her back as he kissed her deeply.

“Blake…we need to get dressed…and go see your fami—” Her breath hitched as Blake suddenly took one of her breasts into his mouth, and she found her hips squirming underneath him before his hand grabbed onto her hip bone to keep her stiller. 

“I’ll get you off quick,” he promised, as his mouth moved to her second breast. His free hand unzipped her jeans and her legs parted slightly, as one of his fingers dipped into her underwear. He let out a chuckle, feeling the wetness that had already collected in between her legs. 

“ _Really_ quick.”

——

An hour later, Gwen had pulled both of them out of bed in a second attempt to get going to head out to see Blake’s family. She changed her underwear (damn you, Blake), and dressed and made herself back up to look presentable, draping a scarf around her neck a few times to hide the evidence from the night before. 

The drive was largely uneventful, just a few small pep talks that yes, Blake’s mom was going to love her, and his family was really nice, and they all heard only good things about Gwen. He explained the whole family dynamic - his mom, Dot, lived with his stepdad, and his sister Endy would also be there with her husband and two kids. It didn’t sound unmanageable, she really did expect more of his family to be there, but she wasn’t complaining. That was definitely enough people for her to need to convince to like her at one time. 

Before she knew it, they were standing on the front porch, doorbell rung. Blake’s arm was around Gwen as she held on tightly to the wine and cheese gift basket she insisted to bring along with them. Blake told her it was unnecessary, but there was no way she was going to show up to her boyfriend’s mom’s house for the first time empty handed. She needed to make a good impression. She needed these people to like her.

“Blake!” an older woman exclaimed as she opened the door, throwing her arms around him in only a way that a mother could. A smile came to Gwen’s face as she watched the two of them interact, and it hit her suddenly that he was a total momma’s boy, which warmed her heart. Gwen heard the chaos coming from inside where the rest of the family was as her attention turned away briefly, only pulling back when she felt Dot’s hand over hers. “Please, bring the girl inside, Blake, she’s not used to the harsh Oklahoma cold.” Dot tugged at Gwen’s hand a little and she walked in first, Blake right behind her as he closed the door.

“We didn’t come empty handed,” Gwen said softly, gesturing to the gift basket in her arms. “I, uh…I’m very happy to be here, and meet you, Mrs. Sh—“

“Dot, honey. Please call me Dot. Or ‘mom', that seems to be a common name around here even from people who aren’t my kids.” The older woman beamed at her. “Would you look at that, oh goodness, Blake, she’s the sweetest thing!” She practically squealed as she took the gift basket out of Gwen’s arms and set it aside, immediately moving forward and throwing her arms around Gwen into a tight hug.

Gwen’s eyes widened as she looked to Blake, her arms moving around Dot to return the hug. It felt normal. It felt right. 

Dot moved back to take another look at Gwen, her hands on her arms as she just smiled at her. “Blake, my god, she’s just gorgeous.” Gwen blushed and looked to Blake, and he stepped over next to the two of them.

“Mom, you’re embarrassing her…” he muttered, nudging at her a bit.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” Dot said, as she smiled at Gwen. She pulled the blonde over with her a bit to the coatrack on the other side of the door and started tugging at her scarf. “Now honey, lets get this winter stuff off of you and —“ Suddenly Dot stopped, her eyes widening as she gasped a little, then her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. It took a second for Gwen to realize, but suddenly she grabbed at her scarf and tugged it back around her neck, but it was too late. 

His mother had seen the hickey. It was written all over her face.

Gwen looked to Blake in a panic as her face turned red, and she felt herself start to panic. Blake’s mind is scrambling, trying to come up with a way to smooth this over, but he’s coming up empty. All he can think to do is move closer to stand next to Gwen as her head dropped in defeat, doing whatever she could to just not look at either of them. A few moments of awkward silence and Dot reached out to bring Gwen’s chin up to make eye contact with her. She opened her eyes, expecting the worst. She expected anger, or judgement, or something equally negative, but instead she was met with Dot’s smile and slightly teary eyes. Gwen’s look of embarrassment quickly turned to confusion, before Dot closed the gap between them and gave her another hug. 

“You love him more than anyone else ever has,” she said quietly. “Thank you for doing that for my baby boy.”

Dot pulled back and smiled, tugging Gwen’s scarf back up around her neck, taking her coat and hanging it up on the rack. 

“Your son saves me every day,” she responded quietly, briefly looking back up to Blake with a smile before her attention went back to his mom.

Dot gave her a knowing look and took and squeezed her hand, leading the two of them into the kitchen. Blake was in a total state of shock; his mother was typically very old fashioned, but he just assumed his mother was falling under the spell Gwen easily put on people. He had sure fallen for it. 

“Blake and Gwen are here, everyone!” she called out to the room, which caused the family to come over to them as Dot scurried off to the kitchen. Everyone hugged Blake immediately, including two kids that were instantly smitten with his presence whom she assumed to be his niece and nephew. Gwen smiled as she watched them together, Blake’s step dad first coming to offer her a hug, with Endy and her husband right behind him. 

“Gwen, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen?”

Her attention turned at Dot’s voice again, and she squeezed Blake’s hand before letting go to move into the kitchen. Dot was busy unpacking the gift basket Gwen had brought, setting the wine bottles to the side as she opened up some of the snacks to lay out on a platter for everyone to enjoy. Gwen grabbed a few and helped her, giving her a small smile as she did so.

“How are you in the kitchen, dear?” she asked sweetly.

“Oh..I uhm, not good. Not good at all,” she let out an awkward chuckle. “I usually let Blake handle the kitchen. He’s amazing.”

“I told him all his life that all he needed to impress a girl was to know how to cook for her,” Dot laughed a little. “But surely, you’re good at making something?”

“My talents begin and end with boxed mac and cheese, ma’am,” she replied. “And that’s only because my son was obsessed with it for three months and wouldn’t eat anything else I’d give him.”

“Son?” she smiled. “Yes, Blake mentioned you had a child.” It must have been at the sound of his name that he entered the room, coming up behind Gwen and gently resting his hands on her hips. 

“His name is Apollo. He’s two years old. One of two of the most important men in my life,” she smiled up to Blake in that moment and Blake kissed the top of her head. 

“Do you want more children, Gwen?”

“ _MOM_ …” Blake’s mortified voice chimed in.

“Oh, I…”

“No Blake, it’s okay,” Gwen cut them both off. “I always thought I’d have at least a few children, yeah. I could see myself having more. But I have Apollo, so if he turns out to be the only one, well, he’s such a blessing in my life and that’s okay, too.”

Dot smiled at them both. “Blake would be a great father, you know.”

“ _Mother…_ ”

Gwen giggled at their exchange. “I do know that. Apollo is already obsessed with him. Won’t eat his vegetables for me, but you can bet Blake can make it happen.”

“That last girl of his couldn’t get her head out of her ass long enough to even consider having a family,” Dot rolled her eyes, and all Gwen could do was stare at her and focus on trying not to laugh. “You’re much better for him, I can already tell.”

“He’s much better for me, too,” she replied. “He’s the best.”

“Now we just need to teach you how to bake something,” Dot said, as she reached down to pull a cake pan out of the cabinet. 

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea…” she said nervously. The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass herself in front of his mom when she realized she was utterly useless in the kitchen. She knew the southern type - women were expected to be able to whip something up in the kitchen, but all Gwen could do was create smoke. 

“Come on, babe, mom’s a really good teacher. Trust her.”

Gwen looked a little uneasy, but she nodded her head as she conceded to them. 

“Blake, why don’t you go watch football with the others, Gwen and I can handle this.” Blake looked down to Gwen to make sure she was okay and she smiled a bit and nodded. 

He left the kitchen and went into the living room and started watching football with the rest of the family, catching up in between commercial breaks. He looked at the clock on the wall as he realized Gwen and his mother had been alone for nearly an hour, and he was starting to get curious. God only knew what his mother was telling Gwen or what they were talking about, but since there had been no fire, and no yelling, he assumed all was okay. 

A few minutes later Gwen appeared in the doorframe to the living room and grinned hugely at him, motioning him excitedly towards the kitchen. He gave her a curious look and he chuckled, standing from the couch and making his way over to her.

“Oh my god, Blake, look, I made this!” she squealed, showing him a small bowl of pasta. She twisted a few noodles around the fork and held it up to him, and he chuckled as he leaned forward to take the bite. His eyebrows raised as he smiled, pecking her on the lips as they both grinned. 

“We put _wine_ in the sauce,” she explained. “And garlic, and butter, and other things but, oh my god Blake, I MADE this.”

“Baby, this is incredible,” he said, taking the fork from her and taking another bite. His arms went around her and he kissed her again and he couldn’t help but laugh at how adorable she was being. “What did I tell you? I said you’d be in great hands.”

“Come here, come here,” Gwen said, grabbing him by the arm and tugging him into the kitchen. She brought him over to where a dessert filled a cake pan, and she smiled up at him. “You’re literally not going to believe what we did to make this one…”

“Dump cake?” he asked, and Gwen’s face turned into a pout.

“That’s totally not fair that you already know the secret!”

He laughed at her again. “It’s a big thing in the south, honey.”

“But all we did was dump cherry pie filling, RAW cake mix, and then threw butter on top and it baked? What kind of sorcery is this?” she asked. “Wait, can I do that with other stuff, too? Just throw butter on it and put it in the oven? That would solve so many issues…” 

Blake was laughing at her again, he couldn’t help it. “Honey, I don’t think it works like that…pretty sure it just works for cake.” Her face fell into a frown again, and he nudged her a little. “Come on, give me a bite, I want to try it.”

His words perked her up immediately as she reached for a spoon, taking a corner of the dessert and reaching up to feed it to him with a grin.

“Mmmmm….” Blake said. “Baby, I’m so proud of you, really I am.”

“Dinner’s ready!” Dot called to the others, who all came filing in at a leisurely pace. 

Gwen reached over and handed Blake a plate and took one for herself, as she put some of the pasta on her plate along with a small slice of garlic bread as she sat at the dining room table. She stood up to retrieve the bottle of wine on the counter as she poured herself and Blake glasses, and soon the entire family was gathered around the table enjoying the meal. Somewhere in the middle of dessert, Gwen reached under the table and took Blake’s hand in hers, squeezing it, and holding it to rest on his leg. His mom was telling stories about what Blake was like as a kid, and that in combination with the wine just made her feel happy, and right at home. She wasn’t nervous anymore; somehow she had gone from terrified to content. This was the kind of family that made you feel like a part of them from the start, and her heart almost couldn’t handle how accepting they’d been of her already.

She dozed in and out on the car ride home, as they’d stayed a lot later than they had originally intended. They made it into the bedroom, both of them starting to peel off clothes with the intent of going straight to bed. Gwen pulled on a pair of thick socks and one of Blake’s flannels and crawled into bed, and straight into his arms. Her eyes closed immediately as a yawn escaped.

“I love your family,” she said softly. “And I love you, so much. I think it went really well.”

“It did, baby. They love you. Almost as much as I do.”

Those were the last few words she heard before she drifted off to sleep.


	40. Waterfalls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW, so uh, Chapter FORTY?
> 
> I can't believe it. I really can't. Would not have made it this far with out my greedy bitches and all of your love and support on ao3, so thank you <3

“Cowboy…wake up.”

Those three, whispered words against his lips caused his eyes to open from a long night of peaceful sleep. As soon as his eyes opened, her lips were on his and he felt her hand resting on his side, her body turned into him. Without hesitating, he moved forward and kissed her back, a little deeper, and she smiled through her reciprocation. Gwen trailed a finger down his cheek lightly as she stayed hovered close to him, their lips brushing now and then, but not quite kissing. Blake moved gently to sit up a bit more and stretch, his arms going around her in a move to pull her closer.

“What’s up, baby?” he said in his southern morning voice.

“ _What’s up_ is that I’m naked under this shirt of yours and we’re all alone, and miles away from any responsibilities,” she said softly, planting a few kisses on his jawline. “Thought you’d want to take full advantage, that’s all.”

Blake groaned a little as he tugged her fully onto his lap, taking her lips into his as his arms tightened around her. She grinned through her kisses as she moved to sit on top of him, which allowed him to pull her even closer to him in that moment. Her arms draped loosely on his shoulders as she moved her hips into him, his hands traveling down to grab her ass, pulling her into him deeper. She let out a moan as he grabbed her, and bit her lip as his hands teasingly went to her thighs and up under the flannel. His hands went to her hips and fell to her center, his eyebrow raising at her curiously when he didn’t find any underwear there. What was more curious, though, was how wet she already was, and that also made him pause.

“I already took them off,” she whispered, moving her hips down onto his hand, trying to build the pressure on something, anything, whether it be his hand or his growing erection right underneath. 

“Were you touching yourself when I was asleep?”

She felt her cheeks flush at the question as she moved forward to take his lips once more, sliding her tongue into his mouth as he deepened it. His index finger slowly, teasingly, brushed along her inner thigh, and her knees tightened against him as she tried her best to keep still, letting out a quiet moan. Normally, she wasn’t good at being vocal in bed, but there was just something about Blake and that morning that was making her feel brave.

“I got myself off, thinking about you, actually. But I was hoping you could make it happen again.” 

She grinned at him as his hands tightened around her. Well, fuck, if he wasn’t aroused already, that certainly did it. 

“Show me where you touched yourself.”

It was a dare, and one she was prepared to take.

Gwen let one of her hands fall to her thigh, sliding her palm over his hand as she slowly moved his hand to her center. Her index finger leading his, she gently stroked his finger up into her clit, making her body squirm and move into him more at the contact. She did it again and her breath hitched, her hand coming up to his shoulder to squeeze and hold onto him. 

“Right there,” she whispered, her hips moving down onto his finger, begging him for more.

“I don’t think I remember. You might need to show me again.”

Gwen let out a frustrated groan as her hand came back down over his to repeat the motion, her other hand grabbing onto him tightly with each slow stroke. Her forehead rested against his shoulder as her body arched and squirmed, her breath heavy as she started to get herself worked up again. Suddenly, Blake withdrew his hand and brought them both to the front of the shirt she was wearing, as he slowly, teasingly, began to unbutton her shirt until she was completely exposed to him. Gwen was frustrated as he pulled back, her body begging for more, as she bit her lip and was forced to wait and see what he was going to do. His eyes fell on her two aroused nipples, and he looked up to her in the next moment. 

“Show me how you tease yourself.”

“ _Blake_ ,” she whined.

“Show me.”

Gwen let her long, blonde locks fall over one shoulder as she bent forward, slipping the shirt off of her back so that she was completely naked on top of him. She leaned forward and kissed him, and his eyes stayed locked on her even as she pulled back. She hesitated, but slowly allowed her hands to slide to her breasts, taking one in each hand as she slowly began to tease and roll her nipples in between her thumb and index fingers. Her hips were grinding down into him harder now as her legs squeezed onto him tightly and she let out a moan. She bit her lip, focusing on controlling herself, but it was nearly impossible.

“You like that, don’t you?” His voice was rough, territorial almost, and filled with lust. 

Gwen continued, but her face turned into a pout. “I’d like it more if you would help me.”

“Soon,” he promised. “But for now, I’m enjoying the show.”

She was building up so much heat in between her legs at her own mercy, she could barely handle it. Blake could tell she was in torture as she continued, her body ultra sensitive to the touch. Leaving one hand continuing on one of her breasts, she let her other hand fall down to her center, stroking the length before she gently squeezed and teased her clit. Her thighs clenched around her hand as her finger slipped inside, a few beads of sweat forming on her hairline. Gwen felt his hand rest gently on her hips and she moved forward, forcing him to kiss her deeply. “Blake, please help me,” she whispered, begging, as her hips moved closer into him.

One of his hands slid off of her hip and laid over hers as he gently pulled her finger out of her, and he slid two of his own in instead. She gasped a bit at the sudden shock as her hips moved and her thighs clenched around him, both of her arms coming around his neck. Blake reached out with his mouth and nipped at her breasts, sliding his tongue over both erect peaks as he felt her walls close in around his fingers. Slowly he began to build a rhythm as he pulled his fingers inside of her in a _come hither_ motion, which sent her head spinning into the clouds.

“Oh my god, Blake, please don’t stop,” she begged breathlessly, as her thighs spread more for him but soon began clenching tightly to his hand again, trying to build as much pressure as possible. He continued his finger motions and he felt her build up more and more. Her hands came to rest on the back of his head as he went forward and took one of her breasts into his mouth fully, flicking and teasing the nipple as he felt her walls close around him faster. She was so close, he knew she was, and all she needed was that one final push…

A moment later, her grip tightened on his head once she started to fall apart, her body continuing to rock back and forth as she rode his fingers out through her orgasm. Her thighs quivered as she felt an unfamiliar sensation, almost like a waterfall, but in the moment she couldn’t even think straight to figure it out. Her body slumped over against him as she came down, her breathing erratic and her skin ultra sensitive to the touch. His free arm came around her back and he planted a few light kisses on her shoulder, letting her recover.

Gwen let out a breath and sat up, offering him a small, satisfied smile. The moment she looked down, however, her smile turned to panic. His hand was still inside of her, and what she did see was that he was completely soaked in her juices. She looked past his hand, and realized his boxers had a huge wet spot on them as well, and she swallowed hard as she felt her cheeks turn red.

Blake noticed her change in demeanor and looked down between them, and his eyes widened.

“Gwen, did you…?”

“Oh my god,” she said, gently pulling herself off of him and moving to the side, letting her face hit the mattress as she pulled a pillow on top of her head, mortified. Her body curled into a ball and she clenched the pillow hard over her head.

“Baby…” Blake said gently, as she felt him shift on the bed towards her.

“Blake, please just let me die here.”

He reached out and put a hand on her lower back. She flinched at the unexpected touch but her body calmed as he began stroking it gently.

“Gwen, honey, please look at me.”

She hesitated, staying still before she turned her body towards him, keeping her face buried and hidden in the pillow. Slowly, she began to bring it down, her eyes peaking out the top and making eye contact with him. Her cheeks felt red hot again as she quickly buried her face back into the pillow, away from his view again.

Blake laid beside her, his hand stroking down her side as he let out a sigh. “I’m just going to lay here with you until you look at me. However long it takes.” Gwen let out a moan of frustration, because she knew he would do just that. Slowly, she brought the pillow off her face again but still hugged it with both arms at her midsection, her eyes making contact with his again. He offered her a small smile and leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead before his arm went to her waist to pull her closer to him. 

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he said gently.

“Yes I do. I am.”

“Why?” He hesitated and reached forward, gently tugging the pillow out of her arms to get it out of the way. He turned her slightly and pulled her back into his chest so that they were spooning, something he knew she loved and might be the best move in that moment. His arm tightened around her waist and she let out a sigh now that she didn’t have to look at him anymore, a few of his kisses trailing along her jawline.

“Did I make you feel good?” he whispered softly, continuing to kiss down to her neck.

“That isn’t the point.” She let out a breath. 

“Honey, that’s all I care about,” he replied quickly. Her body was turning to mush under his touch again and she turned slightly in his arms to look at him.

“It’s embarrassing,” she whispered. “I’ve never done that before."

“I think it’s hot, actually,” he said with a small smile before leaning forward to plant a long, slow kiss on her lips. “Because I think it means that you felt really good, hmm?”

“I mean yes, but…”

“Was that really the first time it happened?”

“I wouldn’t lie about that.”

“I think I like being the first.”

Gwen reached up and rested her hand on his cheek, looking at this man who looked at her like there was nothing else in the entire world that mattered. Her embarrassment slowly started to subside as his arms tightened around her a little more, him reaching down to kiss her in the next moment. 

“Blake, I literally soaked your boxers. Aren’t you uncomfortable?”

“Well if you wanted me to take my boxers off so badly, all you had to do was ask…” He reached down and tugged them off, kicking them underneath the covers.

Gwen giggled and shook her head a little bit, letting out a moan as he pulled her ass back into his groin, settling into the spooning position once more. His hands gently glided down her body, which sent a shiver down her spine as she moved back and closer into him. 

——

Eventually they were up, showered, and dressed, but they took their time, savoring each other in those moments. Oklahoma wasn’t going to last forever, and even though she desperately missed her baby boy, this alone time with Blake was bringing her back to life. He was exhausting her, but she had never felt this close or loved before and she was taking full advantage of that. 

Blake had told her to dress warmly, because he wanted to give her a full tour of the property. Gwen really didn’t have a lot of experience being around snow, and she didn’t take his instructions lightly. She wore the thickest sweater she had in her possession, pulled a scarf around her neck, gloves on her hands, and her winter jacket that they had picked up once they landed in Oklahoma. 

“You are the cutest pink marshmallow that I’ve ever seen,” his voice came from behind her.

“Oh my god, shut up. That’s so rude.”

He came next to her and she playfully hit him, and instead of taking the punch he grabbed her hand and brought her into a hug instead. She pressed up on her toes and kissed him, and he pulled a fleece hat on top of her head, covering her ears.

“All set, beautiful?”

“Mmhmm,” she replied, and he began walking, tugging her along with him by his side. They went out the front door and Blake turned to lock it, Gwen making her way out to his car.

“Gwen, what are you doing?”

“Getting in the car?”

“Oh no, honey, where we’re going we can’t take the car.”

“Blake, you’re scaring me.”

He walked up behind her and led her out to the far garage, lifting the door up to reveal a large two-person ATV. Her eyes widened, as Blake came over and handed her a helmet and goggles and slid the keys into her palm. “You’re driving, baby.”

“What?” she squealed. “Blake, that is so not a good idea.”

“Come on, honey, I’ll be right there with you. Put them on,” he pointed to her hands at the goggles and helmet, and she did as she was instructed. Tentatively, she walked over to the ATV and stood next to it as Blake pulled his own goggles and helmet on, waiting for him. “It won’t bite you, I promise.”

She let out a breath and slid her leg over the seat, mounting the vehicle. She kept her hands on the center console as Blake came up behind her, holding onto her hips as he sat down on the second seat. Blake leaned forward into her and tapped where to put the key in and she did so, following his instructions. 

“Turn the key, and press the red button right there to fire it up,” he said. She took a deep breath and turned the key, pushing her thumb into the red button as the ATV roared to life and she squealed in surprise over how loud the thing was. Blake chuckled at her and patted her on the back. 

“Are you ready?” he asked.

“Mmmmm….” she hesitated, giving him an unsure look.

“Take it nice and easy. You don’t need to go ripping this through caverns or anything yet, darlin’,” he grinned at her, and he brought his feet up onto the vehicle as his arms went around her softly. He reached forward briefly to disengage the parking brake, and pointed to the gear shift. “It’s just like a car, hold onto the brake right here….” he paused, showing her how to do that, “...move the shift into drive.” She swallowed as she obeyed his instructions, looking back to him a little unsure. “You’re doing great, baby. Now this…” he took her right hand, and gently placed it on the handle, “…this is the throttle. Just twist it slowly to give it power to make it move forward.”

Gwen hesitated, wrapping her head around all of the instructions. She had never done anything close to this, and part of this felt like someone couldn’t decide if they wanted a car, bike, or motorcycle, and they decided to make it confusing and throw different elements into one.

“Baby, I’m right here if something goes wrong. I’m not going to let you get hurt.”

Gwen nodded, and closed her eyes a little as she turned the throttle, jolting them forward. It surprised her and she pulled on the brake as she squealed, which caused Blake to start chuckling.

“See? That wasn’t so bad. Go a little easier when you turn the throttle and it’ll ride smoother.”

She nodded again as she let out a breath and turned the throttle slower, gradually picking up speed as she started taking them down the driveway to get comfortable. Over time, her shoulders and grip relaxed, and when Blake felt she was more comfortable, he pointed out into the grassy area for her to turn off the paved path and into the woods.

They eventually happened upon a clearing, and she pulled the ATV into park as she saw animals grazing from far away. Blake pulled the parking brake up as extra security before he pulled the key from the ignition and hopped off the back. Gwen slid her leg around the front to sit on the vehicle sideways to look at Blake, and a moment later he came up and took her under the arms to pull her down next to him. They took the helmets and goggles off and set them on the seats, Blake putting his arm around Gwen as they walked a little bit.

“Oh my god I can’t believe you just made me do that,” Gwen said with a laugh, shaking her head. 

“I trust you. And you’re a natural.” He grinned down at her and she hugged his midsection tighter. Her attention came back to the animals grazing in front of them, and she suddenly had an epiphany. 

“Blake…are those…?” she gasped, turning her head up to him. “Blake, those are real reindeer!”

He started laughing, he couldn’t help himself, because she was literally like a child that had just seen Santa for the first time with how excited she was. It nearly broke his heart that he had to tell her the truth. “Baby, those are elks.”

“Elks?” she questioned, looking back to them. “Oh.” She paused. “But…they _look_ like reindeer. Are you sure?”

Blake let out a chuckle. “I promise. We’re too far south, honey.”

“Okay.”

They walked together in silence as she clung onto him, keeping an eye on the reindeer she saw in the distance (he wasn’t going to convince her otherwise). The silence was unique, the grounds covered in snow, and it was an unfamiliar peace that washed over her in those moments.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Just how gorgeous this place is,” she answered honestly. “Blake, I never want to leave.”

“Oh, you’ll get tired of the country life eventually. You city gals always end up wanting to go back.”

“Is that what happened with Miranda?”

Blake stiffened a bit on reflex of hearing his ex’s name, but didn’t miss a beat. “Something like that, yeah.”

Gwen stopped them walking but kept her arms around his waist as she turned him towards her. She leaned up and kissed him, his hand resting on her cheek as they both smiled at one another.

“Blake, you could literally make me the happiest woman in the entire world wherever,” she said genuinely. “I don’t need a city to complete my life. I just need you.”

He pulled her up into his arms and spun her around a bit, making her giggle as he kissed her again, holding it out as long as he could before setting her back on the ground. 

“Besides, Apollo would probably love it here. This whole ranch is a little boy’s playground.”

“We’ll bring him out sometime. Maybe wait a few years before I start letting him drive the ATV, though.”

“Ummm, try more like waiting sixteen years!”

“Ahhhh, you’ll come around before then.” He kissed the top of her head as he led her through a small clearing on the edge of the woods.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“Not too far. I want to show you something I think you’ll like. It should be frozen about this time.” 

His hand rested on her back to guide her, and about thirty or so feet in they happened upon another clearing. Gwen’s eyes came up and she saw a giant, frozen waterfall, at least fifty or sixty feet high, that took her breath away.

“Whoa.”

“Pretty incredible, huh?”

“This place is so gorgeous,” she said, turning back to smile at him. “It’s kind of eerie, literally being out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of winter. It’s so quiet. And deserted.”

His arms went around her as he held her by his side. “If I wasn’t so worried about you getting frostbite, trust me, I’d take you up against that tree right now.” Gwen laughed and shook her head. She let out a frustrated moan, pushing her lips onto his. 

“Climb you like a tree,” she mumbled, kissing him again with a giggle. 

Blake let out a grunt as he shook his head, forcing his eyes off of her as he tried to maintain his composure. He made a mental note to bring her back to this spot in the summer as revenge for that one. 

“Come on. You wanna have some fun?”

“I don’t know, Blake Shelton. You saying those words to me frightens me.”

“Awww babe. Don’t you trust me?”

“Yes.”

He reached down into her pocket and pulled out the keys to the ATV, taking her hand and walking back through the path to where they had left it. He handed her the helmet and goggles and put his own on, climbing onto the vehicle first, and motioning for her to get on behind him. She was a bundle of nerves as she mounted the ATV, and her arms gripped as tightly as possible around his midsection once she was on. 

“Hold on tight, baby.”

Blake revved the engine and it jolted to life as they took off at a fast speed. Gwen started off screaming for her life in those first few moments to laughing wildly as he hit rougher terrain and her grip tightened around him. She had never felt this free or wild before, but Blake somehow brought that out of her. And she never wanted this adventure to end.


	41. Anticipate

After a long afternoon exploring the ranch and a lazy next morning in bed, Gwen really couldn’t imagine life ever getting any better than this. It was that weird time in between Christmas and New Years, and it felt like such a limbo to her reality. Like she had found an escape from the craziness of her life and responsibilities and it was all just so…liberating.

Even the simple way they were at the moment - Blake stretched out on a couch on the back porch, Gwen cuddled in his lap, the burn of the outdoor heater adjacent to them and a blanket covered tight around them both - it was so simple, so normal and uncomplicated that it was almost too good to be true. Gwen brought her mug of coffee to her lips as they watched the sun rise in silence, savoring these small moments.

“Are you sure you’re not cold, darlin’?”

Gwen let out a slight chuckle. “I’ve got thick sweaters on, thick socks, a thick blanket, coffee, a heater, and a _really_ hot cowboy…do you not think that’s enough?” She grinned up at him with an eyebrow raised, awaiting his response. 

Blake let out a laugh and shook his head. “For you? No. Not at all.”

Gwen leaned forward slightly and set her coffee mug on the table, coming back to him as her arms slid around his waist and gripped tightly. “I wouldn’t be opposed if you wanted to hold me closer, you know.” She paused, and gave him a cheeky grin. “I mean, it’s for my health, after all.”

“There you go again making me offers I can’t refuse,” Blake said with a laugh, as his arms went around her to hold her tighter. He tugged her forward and took her lips into his, planting a long, slow kiss on them. Gwen smiled as they pulled apart and she placed a quick kiss on his nose before her head went to rest on his chest, exhaling. 

“So I want to ask you a question,” Blake said, nudging at her a little bit. Gwen stayed still as the vibrations from his chest hit her and she was mesmerized for a few moments, before she turned her gaze up to look at him.

“Uh oh,” was all she said.

He chuckled. “Why ‘uh oh’?”

“Because last time you wanted to talk about something is when you forced me to hire Taylor as a nanny.”

“Oh Gwen, come on…I was just worried about you,” he paused. “Wait. Are you still unsure on that? I thought you said…”

“…no, no, I’m not. I was just joking. I needed that break and that help so, so much. You have no idea how thankful I am to you for that.” She pressed her lips against his and held him tightly, giving him a defeated pout of her lips. “Taylor stays forever because you were right. Now…what do you want to ask?”

Blake leaned forward and couldn’t help but nip that pout right off her lips with his teeth, and they both chuckled. 

“So I normally spend New Years in Oklahoma…and I usually throw a get-together on New Years Eve here at the ranch…I knew this time around I’d have you here, and I haven’t let everyone know if it’s happenin’ or not, but I wanted to see what you thought about it because if you’d rather do something else we can do that…”

“A party?” her voice went into a girly pitch as she grinned up at him. “Blake Shelton throws parties?”

He let out a deep belly laugh over her unexpected response. “I mean, errr — sure, I guess you can call it a party.”

“But New Years is so soon, where are your decorations? What do you do for food? Drinks?”

“Well umm, I don’t usually decorate…we’ve got plenty of alcohol, and Endy’s husband usually brings us a ton of fireworks to shoot off. Food…I think we order pizza? I don’t really remember, we drink a lot, honey.” 

“Oh my god, Blake, you can’t throw a New Years Eve party without decorating…and we can do better than pizza.”

“So it sounds like this is okay to you?”

“Only if you take me to a party supply store. Blake I’m so serious, we need to decorate. Come on, it’ll be fun!”

He shook his head at her and started laughing again, there was something about Gwen that she always seemed to figure out how to surprise him with her reactions. “Anything you want, Gwen. Anything you want.”

——

After pulling themselves off of the porch, they were showered and dressed and headed out to Blake’s truck to head to the store to prepare for whatever kind of party Gwen spent the last two hours concocting in her head. Gwen walked in front of him as he shut and locked the door, and Blake had to physically restrain himself from grabbing her and taking her back to bed in that moment. She was wearing probably the tightest pants he had ever seen on her, and he was trying so hard to control himself.

He felt that they were growing closer with all of this time together, and instead of getting tired of one another, he found himself just wanting to be with her more. Besides the fact that it was happening a lot lately, the only literal thing that was on his mind was when he’d next have the opportunity to jump her bones. He had it so bad for her, and he was so whipped that he only just hoped that his desperation for her wasn’t coming through in an awful way. 

Before she touched her gloved hand to open the car, his hands reached out to her waist and turned her towards him. He pushed her back gently against the truck and kissed her roughly, Gwen smiling through her reciprocation. 

“If you keep this up, we’re never going to get in the truck,” Gwen muttered as she bit her lip, looking up at him briefly before pressing her lips onto his in a rough kiss of his own.

“Mmmm. Promise?” His hands tightened around her as they travelled up her shirt to find bare skin, caressing it gently before he pulled back and squeezed her hips, willing himself to stop and look away. “I’m serious, Gwen, you need to get in the car. Right now.” His voice was firm, maybe even a bit conflicted. 

“I need my hips back first,” she whispered.

Tearing his hands away was one of the hardest things he ever had to do. He backed off, and circled around the truck to the driver’s seat. They both climbed in, and Blake fired up the engine. 

“You wore those pants on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What can I say? I like to see you in distress.”

Their eyes came and locked onto each other, battling for dominance. Gwen was the first to slightly break, offering a mischievous grin his way.

“Just wait until we get home.”

Gwen bit her lip and looked away, already feeling the anticipation build between her legs. 

The car ride was longer than she expected, as they needed to go to the town over to get to the party supply store. Once they stepped inside, Gwen grabbed a cart and started grabbing everything in the store. Anything that as black, gold, and silver, and said ‘2017’ on it - she was determined to get it. Party hats, glasses, streamers, noisemakers - she was truly going all out, and Blake was enjoying every minute of it. As total revenge, she’d make sure to take her time when she felt him watching her, slowly bending to grab something from the bottom shelf or taking her time and arching and pretending to stretch, just to fuck with his head a little bit. And it was working. 

After what felt like an eternity, they checked out with the cashier and loaded the bags into the car. On the car ride home, Gwen put in a call to the local grocery store for catering trays, and otherwise kept herself distracted with the view outside the window, or the music on the radio, or anything to halt her mind from thinking about what Blake was planning for them when they got home. 

After two trips into the house, they dropped the final load of bags on the dining room table. Blake came up behind her and placed a quick kiss on the top of her head. She turned her body around into his in a second, cocking her eyebrow up at him.

“Wow, Blake. That’s all? What happened to _’just wait until we get home’_ …?”

“God damnit, Gwen.”

In one swift motion, he bent in front of her and grabbed her by the waist, hoisting her up over his shoulder as she squealed and laughed at his sudden move. He had been trying so hard to be good, play it cool, but he literally did not have the patience for this anymore. He wanted her in bed, and he wanted her now.

“Blake oh my god!” her girly pitched voice came as she laughed, holding herself up as he carried her up the stairs. Suddenly he plopped her back onto the mattress, and he was pulling his own shirt over his head. She leaned up and rested back on her elbows, biting her lip in anticipation. He pulled his belt out of his jeans next, and walked to the other side of the bedroom, where he knew something was kept. 

Gwen shifted a little, but his eyes shot over to her. “Don’t you _dare_ move.” His voice was commanding, territorial. And totally hot. She didn’t dare move an inch after that. 

She saw Blake tuck something in his back pocket before coming back over to her, kissing her roughly as his hands pushed her shirt up. He moved back for a moment as he pulled her shirt off, pressing her back down on the mattress again. His hands went to her jeans, swiftly unbuttoning and unzipping, tugging her boots off before he pulled the jeans off of her completely. He moved up to kiss her again, his hands snapping her bra off right before he forced her wrists to the top of the bed and held them there with one hand. The other dipped into his back pocket, producing the handcuffs they had bought together. Gwen squirmed a little under him and bit her lip in anticipation as he skillfully, and quickly, cuffed her wrists to the top of the bed so she couldn’t move her arms. She tested the restraints - and let out a shaky breath as she felt herself tied to his mercy.

“Close your eyes,” he commanded softly, and she obliged. The next moment she felt his hands softly on her face, placing a blindfold there as he tied it around the back of her head. Her thighs and knees pressed together as she shifted, writhing in anticipation. His hands fells from her face and trailed down her body, barely touching her, as he took the strings of her thong on her hips and pulled it down her legs, leaving her completely naked.

And then he was gone. 

She didn’t feel him on the bed with her anymore. His warmth had disappeared and a shiver went down her spine as she felt her breasts react to the cold, her nipples becoming hard as rocks. She squirmed a bit uneasily as she frowned, searching for something, anything, that would give her an indication where he was. She felt vulnerable, yet safe, but also beyond frustrated with him at that point.

After what felt like an eternity, she felt something feather light tickle at her side and drag down the length of her body, causing her to gasp and squirm. The heat was building up rapidly at her center as her thighs clenched tightly to one another and she bit her lip as she felt it skim across her nipples, dip down to just above her center, then back up to tease her again. Her body bucked at the tease, unable to control herself.

“Spread your legs for me,” she heard him say.

“ _Make me_.” She was so frustrated with him in those moments that she wanted him to touch her, make her do something, because that had to be less frustrating than what he was doing to her then. 

“I don’t think so. I think I’ll just torture you until you start begging.” And with that, she felt the feather caress her thighs, down to her legs, and back up as it took on a new focus exclusively on her nipples. She groaned and whined, her body moving, trying to touch something tangible, but there was nothing - she didn’t know where he was.

Gwen could have sworn with how wet she was that she had already left evidence of it on the bed, but she barely had enough time to think of that as he kept dragging the feather along her most sensitive areas to torture her. She was groaning, gasping, and moaning as she couldn’t quite anticipate where he was going next. Her body was bucking and squirming almost to the point where she was going to hurt her wrists in those cuffs as she fought against them.

“Okay, fuck, Blake, fuck me, please,” she cried out, just as she jolted once more as the feather hit her core.

“But your legs are still closed, baby. Can’t do much with that.”

Gwen groaned and it only took her a second to let her knees fall apart from one another, opening herself up and spreading her legs to him completely. A minute went by, and he didn’t touch her. She started squirming again at the loss of contact, desperately, as all she could imagine was him staring down at her naked body. The thought made her even more desperate, and she arched and bent trying to search for him, with no luck.

She gasped suddenly as she felt the feather trace along her inner thighs, and her hips bucked once more. Her thighs were shaking at that point as she groaned. “Blake, please, I’m _dying_ , please touch me. Please touch me.” Gwen almost screamed as she felt his lips on her center in the next moment, breaking away only for a second for him to align himself with her center, pushing into her suddenly in one swift move. Blake’s mouth covered hers with a kiss to muffle her scream, his hands grasping hard onto her hips as he began to rock them back and forth in a fast, rough rhythm. 

Her walls were clenching tightly around him as her hips bucked with his rhythm, and she let a satisfied smile come to her features as she heard him gasp, and hitch, riding her harder as he rode out his orgasm on top of her. Her legs came around him and she pushed him into her harder as her hips bucked into him, which sent both of them groaning and into a tailspin as she began to fall apart underneath him. She came down and laid motionless on the bed, Blake soon collapsing on top of her.

A moment later, he tore the blindfold off of her eyes and pushed his lips into hers roughly, his arms coming around her back to hold her tightly. Her body drew closer to his and she groaned, fighting the handcuffs that wouldn’t let her put her arms around him. After kissing her once more, he reached up and hit the release on them, her arms falling loosely onto his back as he continued to lay on top of her, breathing still heavy. Her hands gently caressed his back as she held him on top of her, not wanting to let go anytime soon.


	42. Pop Fizz Clink

Gwen felt a shift on top of her, and that’s when her eyes sleepily opened. 

It took her a moment to realize that Blake was carefully moving off of her and attempting to pull the blankets up over her shoulders so she wouldn’t get cold, but she immediately missed him. She let out a small groan as her hands gripped around him, tugging him back on top of her and cuddling into him. Blake smiled up at Gwen even as her eyes remained closed, moving up slightly, softly, to place a kiss on her forehead. He leaned a little to the side and off of her slightly, laying half on top of her and half on the bed as his head laid next to hers. His eyes closed, and the next moment he felt her plant a kiss on his nose.

Blake opened his eyes and gave her a tired smile, stroking her cheek and planting a soft kiss on her lips. She kissed him back, right before her head went to rest right below his chin, her arms still around him. 

“I’ve never loved anyone like you,” she whispered. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “I’ve never been this vulnerable or open…I’ve never had a sex drive like this, god,” she breathed, “…I’ve never been this sore.” She let out a chuckle and a groan.

“Fuck, Gwen,” he said as he let out a breath. “I can’t get the image of you last night out of my head.” His arm caressed down her back.

Her eyes went up to him. “Wet, tied up, and begging?”

Blake let out a low chuckle as his eyes met hers, Gwen instantly blushing over her words. “Where are you sore, baby?” he asked, with a cheeky grin and a kiss on her forehead.

“Oh Blake, I think you know _exactly_ where I’m sore,” she groaned and rolled her eyes. 

He gently rolled her onto her back as he came on top of her again, kissing her softly before deepening, his hands holding onto her hips. He began trailing kisses down her neck, continued down her chest and stomach, and he held her hips as her back arched as he came right above her center. Gwen bit her lip as she felt her thighs open slightly for him, and it felt like an eternity before he finally moved forward, placing a kiss at her center.

“Right there?” he breathed against her skin. “Mmm…you’re still so wet.”

Her body squirmed a bit as he placed a second kiss there, and she let out a moan as her eyes went straight up to the ceiling. “Mmhmm,” was all she could manage. His tongue went from delicate kisses to gliding along her entrance, before he suddenly slipped his tongue inside of her. Gwen let out a frustrated groan, as her hands covered his resting on her thighs.

“Blake, I want you inside of me,” she said, half in a whisper, and half in a whine. She wasn’t sure really how it came out.

“Baby, if you’re sore, I don’t want to hurt you.”

Gwen let out another groan as she let him continue, but soon it was getting to be too much. “Blake. Ugh,” she said, her hips moving and arching towards him. “Just go in slow. Please?”

A moment later, he moved up to kiss her on the lips, his body resting on top of hers fully. His hand dipped in between them and he aligned himself, very slowly pushing into her. Gwen bit her lip hard and let out a groan as she adjusted, her hands clinging tightly onto his sides as she grimaced and he continued.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, and Gwen nodded through her bit lip as she forced a breath out. Blake leaned forward and placed a few kisses down her neck as a distraction, which calmed her down over how attentive and careful he was being with her. She really was sore, but god, she could put up with a little pain if it meant feeling like this. 

“You have no idea how incredible you feel inside of me,” she said, a bit strained, bringing his attention up so that she could capture his lips with hers. He kissed down her chest again, his hands holding her sides as he reached her breasts, slowly coming out to take one into his mouth and tease it. 

“And you know that drives me crazy,” she breathed, as her hips went up into him before she moved her legs to hook around him, pulling him slightly deeper into her. She let out a moan as her head snapped back onto the pillow.

“I’m obsessed with how sensitive you are,” he said lowly, as he moved away from one and towards the other. “All I really need to do is…”…he took the second one into his mouth, and swirled his tongue around her nipple which instantly caused her to gasp and squirm…”…mmhhmm, just like that.” 

It took all that Blake had to be this gentle with her, knowing that he personally just wanted a repeat of the night before, but he wouldn’t let himself go there. He was more concerned that she was sore from their various rounds of sex throughout the week, and handling her in this delicate way felt like a contrasted experience. It was more intimate, and he really got to savor her body more, even though the tease was driving him mad. 

“Come here,” she whispered.

Blake let her breast fall out of his mouth as he moved up to her lips, kissing her deeply. She exhaled before reciprocating, her legs clinging tighter around him. Her hips moved up him to more as she moaned, kissing him again.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he repeated, before kissing her back.

“Just be gentle,” she nodded, moving her hips into him again. “Take it slow,” she let out a breath, placing a small kiss on his forehead. “ _Make love to me._ ”

——

She hated being short.

Actually, Gwen knew she wasn’t short, but this ranch had such high ceilings that it made it a pain to decorate. She was balancing her weight on the top stair of a small step ladder and the trim on the fireplace as she reached forward, trying to strain herself to hang one of her many over the top decorations. She groaned in frustration as she kept reaching, the bottom of the step ladder just beginning to tilt slightly…

Blake came into the room in that moment, almost dropping the two mugs of coffee he was holding, setting them down quickly as he rushed to her side and grabbed her hips.

“Jesus Christ, Gwen, you’re going to kill yourself doing that,” he exclaimed. “Why don’t you let me hang those?”

“Because that…” she paused, leaning forward and up higher now that she had her cowboy holding her steady, “…is no fun.” She hit the decoration back up against the wall and made it stick, a satisfied grin on her face. She turned and let him pull her down, holding her by the waist as he set her down gently in front of him. His arms stayed around her as he cocked an eyebrow down at her.

“ _No fun_ is having to rush you to the emergency room because you fall and break your arm,” he corrected. “I told you I would help you with this stuff today.”

“I know. But I’m impatient and independent,” she said, pressing up on her toes and pecking him on the cheek.

“And stubborn, you can’t forget that,” he added, pulling her closer and kissing her. His mouth went to her ear as he whispered. “And really fuckin’ sexy.”

“Don’t you dare try to drag me back to bed right now,” she groaned. Her arms went around his neck as her body pressed into his. “I don’t think I would be able to muster the strength to leave a second time. And that’s probably the last thing our guests want to walk in on.” He kissed her again, slowly, and pulled back and tapped at her hip. The way she referred to them as _their_ guests instead of just _his_ guests made his heart swell. 

“Okay, come on, let’s get this sparkly stuff up on the walls.”

Gwen giggled and pecked his cheek one more time, before pulling out of his grasp and digging through the decorations bag. 

The rest of the day went by quickly. They spent a good part of the morning and afternoon decorating and setting up for their party that night, making a run out to the store in the late afternoon to pick up all of the catering trays and other final supplies they needed. Blake had a ton of friends and people he knew coming that night, and she was determined to be as prepared as possible. Blake was enjoying watching Gwen in her party-planing hostess mode, and it was so sweet to him how much trouble she was going through to try and make a good impression on his friends. Before they knew it, Endy and Mike were pulling into the driveway along with some other friends of Blake and the ranch started to come to life.

“Hey guys!” Endy exclaimed, giving Blake a hug before turning to Gwen to do the same. Gwen let out a breath of relief as Endy seemed to take to her immediately, which just made her so happy because she knew how close she was to Blake. 

“Blake, my man, I’ve got the fireworks in the back of the truck, come on, let’s figure out the set up,” Mike called over, with a few other men that Gwen didn’t recognize yet. Blake took a step towards them but looked back to Gwen, a little unsure.

“Go, Blake, Gwen will be fine with me. Right?” Endy inquired, looking over at her.

“Of course, go with them, Blake,” she agreed. He smiled and pecked a kiss on her cheek, turning to Endy.

“Be gentle with her,” he warned, which caused Endy to chuckle and roll her eyes. Blake knew his sister had a wild side, especially at his New Years Eve parties, and Gwen was just so innocent sometimes that he worried about leaving her alone with his sister. 

While the guys were in the back laying out and admiring the fireworks Mike had brought, Endy and Gwen migrated to the kitchen and began pulling out the party trays from the fridge. Endy looked around with wide eyes when she entered the ranch, utterly stunned at the amount of decorations hanging around the walls.

Gwen caught her looking around in awe, and she bit her lip nervously. “Is it too much?” she asked, moving to the kitchen to pull a tray from the fridge.

“No, it’s just very, very festive,” she laughed, turning her attention to Gwen. “Obviously I know my brother isn’t into all of the decoration and fluff, and, well, his ex hated that he was responsible for the New Years Eve parties every year so she really didn’t care and rarely made an appearance…but you…you’ve really gone all out. People will get a kick out of this.”

“In a good way?” she sounded unsure, and might have been regretting doing so much. 

“Of course!”

Gwen relaxed a little as she offered Endy a smile, popping the top off of the tray. 

“You’ve also outdone yourself on the food. Seriously, Gwen, you know what you’re doing, and people are going to love it.” Endy reached into the fridge behind her and pulled out more trays, helping Gwen set up. People started arriving soon after that, a lot of which knew Endy and there were hugs all around. Gwen glanced into the backyard and watched Blake for a moment, he was looking over Mike’s shoulder at a video on his phone, probably about fireworks, if she had to guess. A few moments later, Endy came up to her with a mixed drink and put it into her hand.

“I’m the unofficial official bartender at these things,” Endy said with a laugh. “I used to be a bartender to pay my way through school, and something tells me you’ll like this. Cheers.” Gwen smiled at her as their glasses did a _clink_ into one another and Gwen took a sip.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing,” Gwen said, before taking another one. “What’s in this? I barely taste the alcohol…I can’t tell.”

“You don’t want to know, but taste is deceiving, there’s _plenty_ in there.”

Someone started playing with Blake’s sound system and music began playing as more guests arrived. Endy took Gwen’s hand and tugged her along with her, refusing to leave her alone in a sea of people she didn’t know, which Gwen was so grateful for. Her drink was gone a lot faster than she realized, and it only took a second for Endy to replenish it. She was relaxing and starting to talk and get to know Blake’s other friends as she sipped her way through her second drink. They were all curious about how her and Blake had met and how they dated while he was on tour, and soon she had a small audience gathered around her, everyone intrigued by her and wanting to know more.

“Wait wait wait…you’re saying Blake _literally_ plucked you out of a crowd and asked you out?” a woman interrupted with a chuckle.

“I swear! I didn’t even know him. I actually didn’t even know his music, my friends dragged me to the festival,” she explained, taking the first sip of her third drink, courtesy of Endy. “I mean, at first he pulled me on stage and made me dance with him, and I think I almost died, but…”

“Blake, you’re such a cheesy sap!” another woman called out across the room, and Gwen felt two strong arms go around her waist from the back. She let out a little squeal as he hugged her, turning her head to the side to meet his eyes.

“Well it worked, didn’t it?” he called back, kissing Gwen on the cheek. His attention then turned to his sister. “Damnit, Endy, how many of these have you given her?” Blake asked.

“I don’t know! Three or four? Your girl’s thirsty.”

He rolled his eyes. “Endy, your drinks are lethal compared to what she’s used to."

Gwen giggled at their exchange, feeling the effects of the alcohol as she took another sip, setting it down on the table before turning in his arms, her arms going up around his neck. “I thiiiiiink I need a kiss,” she said cutely. 

Blake chuckled, and leaned down and pressed his lips into hers, which caused those watching to erupt into applause.

“I think you need to slow down,” he whispered in her ear with a chuckle, as her head went against his chest and she clung onto him in a hug. 

“Blake you need Endy to make you a drink because they’re _sooooooo_ good.”

He laughed at her, shaking his head. “Trust me, I’ve been taken out by those before."

It was so hard to contain herself in those moments. The people around them started to get into other side conversations as they spoke, the attention fading off of them. She was happy-tipsy, and really giggly, and all she really felt like doing was pushing him into the wall to make out with him. She was sober enough to realize they shouldn’t do that…at least, for now.

Blake continued to hold her and bent to the side a bit, collecting the drink Gwen had set on the table. He brought it to his lips and took a sip, shaking his head, recognizing that drink. “No wonder you’ve already had so many,” he muttered with a chuckle, as even though it just tasted like he was drinking fruit punch, he knew his sister was a genius at disguising heavy hard liquor, and he’d had this one before. 

“But isn’t it like amazing?”

“Tell you what, how about I take this drink so you can take a break, hmm?”

She pouted, but conceded. “Okay.”

Blake laughed and pulled her by his side to walk with him a few steps to sit on the couch, Gwen immediately cuddling up against him with her arms around him. A few others came over to join them, and soon they were lost in conversation again.

Soon, she realized it was getting closer to midnight, and while she still felt the alcohol a little bit, the intensity had faded. The boys were in the backyard shooting off some of the fireworks, and Gwen was getting a kick out of watching them from the back porch. The explosives made them so excited like they were little kids, and it was hilarious to watch. Everyone had gathered outside at that point for the last ten minutes of 2016, torches lit in the backyard for light and warmth. She felt Blake come up next to her and take her hand, discreetly tugging her out of the crowd and back into the house.

“Where are we going?” she whispered, squeezing his hand. 

“You’ll see. Come on.”

He pulled her up the stairs and into the master bedroom, walking over to the balcony door as he unlocked it and led her outside, closing it behind them. The night sky was perfectly clear, and she heard the distant chattering from everyone at the party below them. A few candles were already lit, he had planned this ahead of time. She looked over the top of the balcony and realized Mike and the rest of the guys were right below them as they set off a few more “test” fireworks, and they had the perfect view from where they were standing on the second floor balcony. Her lips turned up in a smile as she heard Blake behind her, turning on light music for the background. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized the song.

_Give me love like her_   
_Cause lately I’ve been waking up alone_   
_Paint splattered teardrops on my shirt_   
_Told you I’d let them go_   
_And that I’ll fight my corner_   
_Maybe tonight I’ll call ya_   
_After my blood turns into alcohol_   
_No, I just wanna hold ya_

Gwen felt a few tears in her eyes as she turned and smiled at him. Her mind instantly flashed back to their first date at that bar in Atlanta, and how he had asked her for a proper dance once Ed Sheeran’s voice filled the bar that night with this song. Blake smiled at her and held his hand out to ask her to dance in the exact same way he had then, but he didn’t look so nervous this time. She let out a chuckle remembering just how nervous he had seemed that night with wanting to impress her, why, she didn’t know, but god, she was so glad he did. She took his hand and squeezed it, remembering how timid he was the first time to put his arms around her waist, but now he did it so naturally, smoothly, and without hesitation. 

Her arms went up around his neck and their eyes locked as they swayed gently to the music. They had come so far since then, but the man in front of her was still the one that made her feel like she never wanted the night to end. Their bodies melted into one another now, they were so in tune with one another, and a higher level of intimacy was there. 

“Thirty seconds!” someone called out from below, followed by a crowd chanting, “29…..28…..27…..”

_Give a little time to me or burn this out_   
_We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around_   
_All I want is the taste that your lips allow_   
_My, my, my, my oh give me love_   
_My, my, my, my oh give me love_

His arms tightened around her waist, and their eyes continued to lock, not daring to look away. Blake brought one of his hands up to the side of her head, stroking her hair gently, and having to will himself to not kiss her. No, it wasn’t the right time for that just yet. Gwen leaned her head into his hand as they continued to sway, before Blake let his hand drop to her waist again. She leaned her cheek against his chest, just like she had that night, exhaling as she found his heartbeat. 

“15….14….13…”

His hands gently traced along her back, as their attention drew to the few fireworks that were set off from below. Blake chuckled a bit to himself, knowing Mike, and knowing that he literally couldn’t wait another thirteen seconds before starting to set them off. The fireworks exploded into a gorgeous display in front of them and they turned their attention to watch them together, holding onto one another tightly.

_Give a little time to me or burn this out_   
_We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around_

“5….4….3….”

_All I want is the taste that your lips allow_   
_My, my, my, my oh give me love_

“2…..1….”

Their attention turned to one another at the same moment with smiles on their faces as Blake reached forward, taking her lips with his, and planting a long, slow, deep kiss on her. Despite the insanity that erupted around them as the entire party below them was cheering, and Mike set off a huge display of fireworks that were exploding in the background, the world seemed to stop. Her hand came up to rest on his cheek as she kissed him again, deeper, his arms tightening around her as he reciprocated.

_My, my, my my oh give me love_   
_My, my, my, my oh give me love_

“I love you, Gwen. Happy new year, baby."


	43. Eavesdrop

They stayed on the balcony in each others arms for a little while longer before they tore themselves away to go back downstairs to join their guests. Gwen noticed the noise outside was dying down after Mike set all of his fireworks off, which meant that people had migrated back into the house. They walked hand in hand down the staircase and discreetly blended back into the party, almost as if they had never sneaked away to begin with. 

It seemed like the party was just starting for real, though, as the moment Endy saw Gwen she squealed in excitement and another specialty drink of hers was pushed into Gwen’s hand. She laughed, thanked her, and took a sip as her arm went around Blake’s midsection, her mind still reeling and replaying over what he had done for her at midnight. God, she had no idea how she got this lucky.

Endy came back a second later and pushed a drink into Blake’s hand, too. The three of them touched their glasses in a cheers as they took a sip, Gwen giggling as Endy danced off again, obviously drunk. The music started playing in the background once more and the alcohol level seemed to increase considerably with how many people started dancing and singing along to every word to a lot of country songs that Gwen was unfamiliar with. Endy’s drinks started becoming doubles, and soon Gwen was dancing too, tugging Blake along and trying to get him to participate with her. Thankfully, Blake had had just the right amount of beer where he was able to let go, showing off some really cheesy dance moves which only made Gwen laugh hysterically. 

It was soon obvious - she was _really_ drunk. She was giggling and laughing about almost everything, and she was a lot more touchy with Blake as they sat on the couch together, Gwen curling up against him in his arms as she planted little kisses on his cheek as he talked to someone she didn’t know. She was smiling and giggling at nothing, and soon she was straddling his lap as her arms went around his neck and she bent forward, nipping at his earlobe with her teeth. 

“I’m really horny right now, cowboy,” she mumbled in his ear so that only he could hear before she giggled, rocking her hips into him as she started to make out with him on the couch. The other guests largely didn’t notice her all over him, mostly because they were all drunk, too. “I wanna ride a cowboy, so I think you need to take me to bed.”

She kissed him deeply again and he chuckled, his hands tightening around her waist as he groaned. “Baby, why are you so fuckin’ hot?”

Gwen giggled again. “Dunno.” She shrugged, and kissed him again. 

“Do you know what I want to do to you right now?”

“Tell me,” she nibbled at his ear again, her body snuggling close to him. 

“I want to strip you naked and fuck you until you pass out.”

Gwen squealed and kissed him, excited over this prospect. Her eyes were wide and excited, and Blake couldn’t help but chuckle looking at her. 

“Can we do it right here?” she asked.

“Noooooo,” he replied. “We need to go to the bedroom, honey.”

She pouted and pushed her hips into him a little bit, but then got happy again and pushed her lips forward and kissed him deeply. Gwen stood up suddenly, taking both of his hands and using all of her strength to pull him to stand up next to her, and started to drag him to the bedroom.

“Goodnight!” she called out to nobody in particular, as she dragged him up the stairs with her, Blake chuckling the entire way.

The door shut behind him to their bedroom and he pushed her back up against the wall immediately, making out with her roughly. He tore the clothes off of her body so fast she didn’t even remember wearing any, and he pulled her legs up around his waist as he held her in his arms, pushing her back into the wall as he roughly kissed and sucked down her neck. Gwen tugged and tore her own bra off of her body, tugged and tore his shirt off, throwing both to the side as her arms tightened back up around his neck, moaning as her erect nipples made light contact with his bare chest, her hips bucking into him over the tease. 

The next thing she knew, Blake took her off the wall and threw her down on the bed with him, and she took that opportunity to fumble and force his jeans and boxers down his legs. She only had her underwear left, and the next moment after he roughly kicked his jeans off the bed those were off, too, joining the other piles of thrown clothes. His fully naked body laid down on hers and she moaned over the contact, her hips bucking in those few moments they slowed down, but suddenly he was getting rough again and they were fumbling and making out, Gwen letting out a happy giggle now and again.

Her legs clenched tightly around Blake’s waist and in one strong move she used all of her strength to flip them so that she was on top of him. She used a little too much strength, though, as once she gained top status she kept going and flipped herself off of the bed, landing on the rug on the floor.

Once Gwen landed it took her a moment to realize what had happened, and she burst into a fit of giggles as Blake rolled to look at her from atop the bed. Gwen was laying on the floor naked, and Blake started laughing too once he knew that she wasn’t hurt from the fall. She laid there for a minute and grinned at him, motioning him with her finger in _come hither_ fashion as their eyes locked. Blake laughed and moved to put his hand on the ground next to her, and since she felt like he was taking too long, her arms went up and grabbed him to pull him down the rest of the way. He landed and they both laughed again until Gwen moved and clung onto him, forcing her tongue back into his mouth.

They rolled again so that Gwen was underneath him, Blake pulling her legs apart and pushing into her suddenly. Gwen was going back and forth between moans, groans, and giggles, and Blake honestly was beyond amused with how adorable she was. He pushed in harder, establishing a rhythm. Gwen was too drunk from the alcohol to even realize she was still sore as she forced him in deeper, faster, and harder. 

She passed out somewhere after that. The next thing she felt was a pounding migraine, waking up naked on the floor next to Blake. Actually, her entire body felt like it was pounding as she stretched her legs slightly, letting out a groan as a shiver went down her back. Gwen was too exhausted to try and find a blanket, and instead she clung to Blake tightly as she felt another shiver, her touch soon waking him. He let out a groan as he pulled her closer, feeling his own headache.

“Baby, come on, you’ll feel better if we climb in bed,” he said softly, groggily. His hand caressed down her back and she opened one eye up at him, closing it as the morning light coming in from the blinds was just too much. It took her a few minutes but she moved into a semi-sitting position, still leaning against Blake, and she slowly, painfully, began to stand up as she grabbed onto the edge of the bed. Her eyes shut as she groaned loudly, her back falling onto the mattress immediately.

“Owwwww,” she whined. “I think I had sex with an elephant last night.”

There was a weird moment of silence, before both of them started laughing. Blake stood up and sat next to her on the bed, rubbing his eyes before opening them, glancing down at Gwen who was curled up in the fetal position. 

“That’s the first thing you say to me - soberly - on New Years Day?” Blake chuckled.

“Some men might take that as a compliment, honey. You don’t leave anything to be desired…”

Blake leaned forward and placed a kiss on her cheek, holding her for a moment before standing to walk into the connected master bath. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water and the ibuprofen bottle and brought it back out to the bedroom, swallowing the maximum dose himself first before sitting back on the bed next to Gwen.

“Come on sweetheart, take this.”

Gwen rolled over slightly to him and pulled her head up, swallowing the pills with water and laying her head back down. Blake put the water aside and snuggled into bed with her, Gwen’s head laying on his chest as he gently caressed her forehead. Her arms tightened around him and she relaxed, feeling him pull the blankets over her body. 

They both dozed off again, and a kiss on top of her head caused her to open her eyes about an hour later. She looked up at Blake and moaned a little bit, eyes closing once more. She felt his hand gently rubbing her back. 

“You take care of me so good,” she mumbled. 

“I love you, Gwen. That’s what you do for someone you love.”

She leaned up and gently pressed her lips against his. “Sometimes I forget. I still appreciate it though. And I love you too, baby.” She cuddled back into his arms and let out a relaxed sigh. A few minutes later, her stomach growled, and Blake chuckled a little and looked down at her.

“Hungry?”

She groaned in response, not really sure if she could handle food or if her stomach was lying. 

He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be back. You stay here.” She nodded and reluctantly let go of him, rolling onto her side as her eyes closed again. Blake stood up and pulled sweats and a sweatshirt on and made his way downstairs, a little apprehensive over what his house was going to look like as a casualty from the night before. 

“Morning, little brother,” Endy greeted as he walked into the kitchen. She was leaning against the kitchen island eating a yogurt as she shot him a smile. He looked at her dumbfounded for a moment, always impressed with how hard she could drink and be totally fine the next morning. 

“Hey, Ends,” he said, walking to the fridge and opening it up. He stared for a good five minutes, not really able to find something suitable, and moved to the cabinets.

"You sure had fun last night," she quipped. 

"What do you mean?"

"Come on. You don't think the entire party heard you two jumping each others bones last night? Your girl practically announced it to everyone," she giggled.

"Well, I guess someone had to provide the entertainment," Blake retorted, not feeling the least bit embarrassed about it. His house, he could fuck who he wants, when he wants. The only caveat was that he only ever wanted Gwen. 

Speaking of.

“Where’s Gwen?”

“In bed, nursing one of your famous hangovers.”

Endy giggled. “She’s a real Shelton now.”

Blake shot a confused look at her and raised an eyebrow, causing Endy to roll her eyes.

“Oh please, Blake. It’s so obvious that you’ve thought about proposing to her, if you haven’t secretly done it already. Don’t lie to me.”

He pulled a box of rice out of the cabinet and set it next to the stovetop, reaching under into a different cabinet to pull out a pot, and he began filling it with water from the sink. “Ends, I just asked her to move in with me…literally a week ago. And…I don’t think she’s ready to be engaged right now. Still workin’ through a lot, and I don’t want to scare her off.”

“Oh, she’s ready,” Endy retorted. “I’ve never seen someone so in love with you. Plus, what an _upgrade_. Isn’t it nice to have a girlfriend that actually cares about getting along with your friends and making an appearance at a party? Ex-bitch couldn’t even manage to pretend.”

“There’s a lot about Gwen that makes this complicated,” he replied. “She’s in the middle of a custody battle with probably the scummiest guy I’ve ever met. There’s a lot about my life that still makes her anxious, like the constant attention and cameras, especially when Apollo is around. And I want to have a stronger relationship with the little guy before I make any moves like that. And she has a lot of insecurities - rightfully so - from her ex-husband that are probably better cured by a boyfriend instead of a new husband.” He let out a sigh. “Sometimes I feel like she’s having to learn how to love all over again. But the right way this time."

“I get it,” she finally replied, keeping him in a bit of suspense. “All I’ll say is don’t wait too long, okay? I’ve never seen you this happy before, and I don’t want you to lose her."

“I promise. Waitin’ is the right thing. Moving in with me this month is the right next step.”

“Endy! Let’s get going!” Mike called suddenly from the front door. 

“Alright,” she called back, turning to Blake. “Love you, little brother. Take care of that one, okay?”

“Promise,” he said, bringing his sister into a hug. “See you soon, yeah?”

“Can’t keep me away too long,” she replied with a smile, before placing a quick kiss on his cheek and leaving the kitchen, the sound of the front door closing soon behind her.

Blake let out a sigh as he turned to the boiling water, and poured the rice in that he was making for Gwen. He stood over the stove and stared at it for a moment and almost jumped as he felt a hand on the small of his back, and he quickly turned and saw Gwen standing behind him.

“Gwen…” he said uncertainly, nervously, as he looked behind her before looking back to her. “I uhhmm, baby, how long have you…?”

“I heard what you said,” she said softly, looking up to meet his eyes for the first time with hers that were starting to water. “I didn’t mean to, I wasn’t trying to…” she let out a shaky breath. “I just got thirsty. And then I heard Endy talking about you proposing, and I couldn’t move. I’m sorry.”

“I, uh…Gwen…” his voice was strained, desperate, as he was trying to figure out the words to say. Was he in trouble? Was she mad at him? Sitting in this limbo was killing him, and all he could think to do was the obvious. “Gwen, I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you for knowing me so well,” she offered her a small smile through her teary eyes, and her hands went around his waist and tugged him closer so that she could hug him. Her chin rested on his chest as she looked up to him. “Blake, you’re the most considerate, attentive, and loving man that I’ve ever been with and….” she let out a breath…”…you’re right, about everything you said.” She let out a chuckle. “I’m sorry if I scared you, I just…heard you talking to Endy about me and I’ve never heard anyone talk about me like that before. So you know, I started crying.” She shrugged, pretending it wasn’t a big deal, but she couldn’t help but laugh a little.

Blake let out a huge sigh of relief and his arms went around her to hold her tightly against him, kissing the top of her head. 

“I love you so much Blake. And I really believe moving back to LA with you this month is the right next thing for us. There’s a lot going on, some things we need to figure out and adjust to.” She pressed up on her toes and kissed him softly. “Thank you for being patient with me.”

All he could do was hold her closer, as he barely had the words to say in those moments. Finally, after they stood holding one another in the silence, he spoke up. 

“I’m in this for the long haul,” he said. “Always have been. My intention is to be a family with you and Apollo someday. But when the timing is right, and when we’re ready. When _you’re_ ready.”

She pressed up and kissed him again, his hand cupping her cheek. The rice was boiling up in the pot, and his attention turned over to it. 

“Why don’t you grab your water and I’ll be right up with this, okay?” he offered.

“Okay,” she said, as she moved to the fridge to grab a bottled water. She glanced back over at him and gave him a sweet, tired smile, before turning to go back up the stairs.

“Love you, cowboy."


	44. Recovery

Her eyes were closed, and she let out a soft moan when she felt something warm lower onto her stomach. Her face wrinkled into confusion as she looked up, seeing Blake as she heard the faint _thud_ of him setting a bowl on the nightstand. Her eyes cast downward and she noticed he had brought her a heating pad. If her heart wasn’t already melted that morning, that would have done it.

“A+ with extra credit for my boyfriend,” she looked up at him tiredly and gave him a smile. “Are you going to feed me rice while I’m laying down too so I don’t have to move?” she asked sweetly.

Blake let out a chuckle and took a seat next to her on the bed, his hand resting on her cheek. “I don’t think you can swallow laying down, honey. You probably need to sit up.”

Gwen let out a giggle as her eyebrow raised. “I’ve swallowed _you_ in more compromised positions.”

Blake groaned, retracting his hand which caused her to giggle more, as he felt himself tightening. He hated and loved the fact that she was like this, and hated and loved the fact at what little it took for her to turn him on.

“You’re not being nice. You’re trying to seduce me when I can’t even sleep with you.”

Her face turned into a pout and a frown, and she reached out to take one of his hands into hers. “Awww babe. I’m sorry. But come on, that was too good to not.” She smiled and pulled herself up to sit next to him, pressing her lips against his lightly. Gwen tugged at his arm and pulled him over onto the bed next to her, cuddling up against him and readjusting the heating pad. Blake reached over and picked up the bowl of rice, placing it in her hands. She took a bite and relaxed against him, scooping a second bite into the spoon and offering it up to him. He took it and smiled down at her, placing a quick kiss on her forehead. 

“Are you ready to go back to California?”

“I have a better idea. How about…” she took another bite, then turned her attention up to him. “We go back to California, get Apollo, and then come back here and never leave.” Her expression turned into a hopeful one as she took another small bite, causing Blake to chuckle.

“You really like it here, don’t you? I really was afraid you wouldn’t.”

“This place is magical. And not just because we’ve had a lot of sex.” She giggled. “I mean, that part helps, but it just feels so homey here. I love your family and your friends. That’s like, all I’ve ever really wanted was a big family like that.”

“You have a pretty big family, though.”

She shrugged, taking another small bite. “Yeah, I know. And I love them a lot. I’ve just never been loved so fast by like, a boyfriend’s family. I dunno. It’s hard to explain.”

His hand gently moved up and down her arm and he kissed the side of her head as he watched her take another bite. “I just can’t imagine how anyone couldn’t automatically love you.”

“Stop it.”

“No. And, I’m never going to stop.” He paused. “Just wait until you live with me, Gwen. I’m never going to shut up telling you how amazing you are.”

“Do you want a girlfriend that cries all the time?” she chuckled, trying to lighten the mood as she looked up at him. “I can’t imagine that’s attractive. Or desirable.”

“You’ll get used to it eventually. I promise.”

“Nope,” she shook her head. “Never so used to it that it stops making me teary.” 

She leaned forward a little and set the bowl on the nightstand, her arms coming around his waist to hug him. Gwen exhaled and closed her eyes for a minute, the silence calming. 

“What are you thinkin’ about?” he asked a few minutes later, as he slowly rubbed her lower back. 

“Our future,” she answered, looking up to him and placing a kiss on his lips with a smile. “And it’s pretty great."

——

Gwen was so thankful for a low key new years day in bed, cuddling with her cowboy. The pain meds and residual hangover made her tired, and the lack of obligation was exactly what she needed. The mood between them had shifted, at least it felt that way to her. She couldn’t help but continually replay his words over and over in her head when the silence fell between them.

_My intention is to be a family with you._  
_I’m in this for the long haul._  
_She’s learning to love again. But the right way this time._

It made her feel so many things. And she never even knew she was capable of this level of intimacy with anyone. Actually, she didn’t realize it existed before Blake came into her life. 

After one more lazy night spent in Oklahoma, they were up and climbing into his helicopter to head out to the airport early the next morning. They snuggled and relaxed the majority of the way as they sipped on fresh coffee, taking advantage of the digital movie collection the charter company offered for entertainment. Gwen’s eyes lit up as they searched through the titles when she found _The Sound of Music_ , and with that grin and squeal, he couldn’t possibly refuse letting her show him her all time favorite movie. A few stolen kisses and unexpected touches completed what she thought was going to be a very dreadful flight, as it signaled the end of their time away together. What she found herself feeling instead was hope. She had hope as she imagined moving in with Blake that month, she had a lot of hope for the future. She didn’t take it for granted, because for so long she was in a world where she didn’t feel any at all. 

Once the plane landed and they were clear to stand, Blake walked up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist and he pecked her on the cheek. “Next time you get off a plane in LA, you’ll be staying for good.”

“And maybe by then I’ll be recovered so we can have some _real_ fun,” she said with a giggle, turning a bit and pushing her lips into his as her arms went around his neck. Blake grinned as he kissed her back, lifting her off the ground so that her feet went into the air. 

“We had a lot of _real_ fun, so much that you’re walkin’ funny.” He chuckled. “I just hope I’m not around when you’re explaining that to Todd and Jen.”

She shrugged. “I’m so clumsy. I’ll just tell them I tripped on the ATV trying to get on it.” She laughed, and reached down to take his hand and tugged him down the stairs with her, exiting the plane.

Todd and Jen were standing off the end of the stairs with Apollo and their two kids, Stella and Leo, off to the side. 

“Babies!” Gwen squealed before they were even off of the stairs. The three of them started jumping up and down when they caught sight of them. Her leg barely touched off of the stairs before the three kids ran over and threw their arms around them, Gwen tugging Blake down to crouch to their level as Apollo placed a sweet kiss on Gwen’s cheek. Once Gwen and Blake were both crouching the three of them toppled over on top of them, causing them all to fall to the ground in laughter. Apollo moved and climbed up on top of Blake possessively, taking up the space on his lap before Stella or Leo could claim it. He kept his eye on them, which caused them both to laugh as they took notice. 

Todd came over and offered his hand out to Gwen which she took, Stella and Leo also pretending to help her stand up, too. Instead of letting her hand go, Todd tugged her closer to him and examined her hand, giving her a questioning look. It took her a moment before she put two and two together, and she rolled her eyes and pulled her hand back.

“Oh my god, why does everyone think we got engaged?”

Jen nudged at Todd and he chuckled a little as she said that loud enough for Blake to hear as Blake stood up, scooping Apollo with him. Todd really wasn’t thinking that his sister would call him out like that, but she totally had.

“Just checking?” he said sheepishly. 

“Well, joke’s on you, because…well, we’ve actually talked about it.”

“You…you have?” Jen asked, suddenly feeling the urge to look down at her hands to look for a ring, even though Todd had already looked a second ago. 

“Yeah, we have,” she said softly, Blake’s free arm coming around her waist. “And we both want that someday with each other soon. When we’re both ready. We still have some things to do before that.”

Apollo started reaching for Blake’s hat and with Blake distracted, he was able to snatch it off in one quick motion before placing it on his own head, a satisfied smile coming to his face. He snuggled into Blake’s chest and clung to him, which caused Blake to place a kiss on top of his curls as his heart melted. 

Gwen noticed, her attention turning for a moment as she smiled. “Did you miss Blakey, bubs?” Gwen asked, rubbing his back a little. He nodded furiously and didn’t move, not seeming to be bothered by Gwen’s presence. They both laughed, and Gwen’s attention went over to Todd and Jen.

“You guys are so quiet,” Gwen said.

“I just…wow, um, I…you guys have really talked about it,” Todd replied.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly a _planned_ conversation…” Blake said with a sheepish grin, glancing down to Gwen. “But…I’m glad it happened.” She smiled up to him showing her approval, their eyes locking for a minute. She had only felt closer to him since then.

“Babe, maybe we need to go vacation in Oklahoma…” Todd said, nudging at Jen and nodding his head towards Blake and Gwen. 

Jen giggled and rolled her eyes. “Leave ‘em alone, they’re cute.”

Gwen’s arm slid around Blake’s back and she held onto him a bit, before Todd’s voice broke the silence.

“Alright, who’s ready for dinner?”

——

The seven of them piled up in Todd’s SUV and they found their way to a local Italian restaurant that Gwen and Todd had grown up visiting all the time in the heart of LA. They all slid into a giant round booth, Gwen yawning a little as she leaned against Blake, feeling her jet lag. They swapped stories about what they had been up to the past week. Todd - bless him - managed to take the kids to the aquarium _three_ times, because Apollo’s obsession was never ending, and the third time they went one of the employees recognized them and got them to go behind the scenes in one of the tanks to see the animals up close. Apparently Apollo giggled and squealed the entire time and Todd passed his phone to Gwen to show her the video he took of how happy he was, Blake leaning in to watch with her like the proud dad he was.

God, he _was_ such a dad.

Blake launched into the stories of Gwen driving and nearly short-circuiting his ATV, meeting his mom and actually cooking something edible, and other anecdotes from their time in Oklahoma. Blake felt like such a natural fit and a part of the family, even Stella and Leo seemed to try and want to impress him. It was such a seamless transition, she almost had to pinch herself to know it was real. 

After they finished dinner, Todd dropped the three of them off at Blake’s - well, _their_ house, now, - and Gwen immediately went to shower and get ready for bed as Blake hung out with Apollo in their bedroom. It didn’t take Apollo long for the tiredness and excitement of the day to catch up with him, and soon he gradually leaned more into Blake as he read to him, a little more, a little more…until he crawled in his lap and laid his head down there. Blake wasn’t even halfway through the book before the little one's eyes closed and he dozed off. 

About twenty minutes later, Gwen emerged from the bath with dry hair pulled back loosely and wearing a silk chemise. She stopped suddenly as she came up to the nightstand, her eyes going from Apollo to Blake, a content and warmed smile coming over her features. 

“I’ve never been so jealous of my two year old,” she whispered jokingly. But god, deep down it was hitting her hard with how much Apollo really was mesmerized with Blake.

Blake held his arm out towards her, giving her an incredulous look. “Get over here,” he said softly back to her. She grinned and softly climbed onto the bed, cuddling up to his side as his arm closed around her body. The mood felt heavier. The inevitable was coming. 

“This is probably the last time we have to do this for a while,” he spoke softly, breaking the silence. 

“What? You mean lay in bed, upset, and dreading the airport in the morning?” She sighed, her eyes closing as she willed herself not to get emotional about this already. She turned her gaze up to him and forced a smile, his hand moving up to rest against her cheek. “You’ve brought me back to life, you know, these last few weeks,” she added. Her hand moved across his stomach and rested on his opposite hip, holding onto him. 

Blake leaned forward and quickly placed brief kisses all over her face, which caused her to softly giggle as she was trying to keep somewhat quiet due to the baby sleeping below them. He caught the last kiss on her lips, pulling them to him as he deepened their embrace, his arm holding her close. Their lips parted and she hovered close, letting out a breath that he could feel against his skin. 

“Let’s talk about moving,” Blake said suddenly, which caused Gwen’s face to light up, if only a little. He had a feeling it might. “First of all, the house. Do we want to stay here, or look for another one?”

She settled back into his arms a little as she looked around the room, then back to him. “I can’t make that choice,” she said. “Blake, it’s your house. Do you want a new one?”

“I’m not really fussed about it one way or the other. I mean, I bought this place because of location. And…it really didn’t start to feel like a home until you came along, anyways.” 

“This wasn’t supposed to be an emotional conversation, Blake,” she said through gritted teeth, nudging him playfully, trying to lighten the mood. Trying to not let her face break. 

He let out a small chuckle. “Sorry.” He paused. “Do you like the house?”

“We have memories here already,” she mused. “And it’s a lot of room and close to work and your friends. It’s a good size, we don’t need something huge. But you need to make that decision, Blake.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “How about we stay here, see how it goes, and if we want to think about it again in six months, we will?” He raised his eyebrow down at her. 

“Whoa,” was all she said, as her eyes met him.

“What?”

“Oh uh, I meant…yes. Yes. Let’s do that.”

He gave her a look.

“Sorry I just, went somewhere there for a second.” She shook her head, shaking it off. “This is just so easy. There’s no fighting. Just logic and agreement.”

A bit of silence followed.

“….and maybe, perhaps, a teeny bit of compromise?” she asked cutely.

He let out a chuckle. “On?”

“Babe, the couch _reeeeally_ needs to go.”

He chucked again. “That’s fine. I told you to decorate how you wanted. I’m not emotionally attached to my couch.” He paused, raising an eyebrow at her. “Wait. Tell me why we don’t like the couch? I have some…unclothed…memories of you on that couch.”

“Blake,” she giggled a little. “It’s plaid! And it’s really bad when you wear your plaid shirts and then you sit on it and ugh,” she had to physically shake the memory from her head. “Those patterns clashing drives me crazy. I actually had to work really hard to keep focused on making out with you when that happens.” He looked a little confused, and to ease the burn she placed a small, sweet kiss on top of his lips. “Tell you what. I buy a new couch, we send Apollo out with Taylor one afternoon and you can do _whatever_ you want to me on it.” She grinned. 

“Fuck that plaid couch,” Blake said without hesitation, which sent Gwen into a sudden burst of giggles, her hand coming over her mouth and eyes widening as she realized Apollo moved a bit in his sleep. 

“What else?”

“Paint. I can’t stand white walls,” she said, scrunching her face. 

“What else?”

“You. Across from me at the dinner table every night,” she said, leaning forward and unexpectedly kissing him on the lips with a smile. “You. In the shower with me in the mornings.” Another kiss. “You. Up against that wall over there…”

“I’m starting to sense a pattern…”

She pressed her lips into his again, harder this time. Gwen felt Apollo shift below them and open his eyes, which is the only reason she pulled back too soon.

“Hi babycakes,” she grinned sweetly as he slumped against her, and she reached down and kissed the top of his curls. Gwen looked up at Blake, silently asking permission for him to stay with them.

“Of course. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

She smiled and shifted Apollo to the other side of her, reaching out to turn the lamp on the nightstand off. Gwen snuggled back against Blake and his arm went around her after she laid Apollo down on his stomach next to her, her free hand caressing softly against his back to soothe him to sleep once more. Once he seemed to be asleep, she let her hand move back to her pillow and Blake moved into her closer. 

Gwen wouldn’t tell him this, but she was focusing on every detail, every feeling, every touch. She had to leave him again, and she found that those were the only things that kept her going were the memories.


	45. Care

January in the real world was always depressing.

All of the holiday decorations were coming down, what was previously lit up and magical was now dull and dead. The executive terminal they flew into was bare of decorations, whereas it had been fully outfitted with lights and christmas trees when they departed to California. The wreaths that previously adorned the streetlights were pulled down, and the giant ornate Christmas tree that used to be in the lobby of her building was stripped of decorations and thrown out to the side of the road. Gwen always felt a pang of depression when January hit, as quite literally the magic of the holidays was boxed up as if they weren’t allowed to see it again for another ten months. 

The one positive thing she had to focus on was the fact that she was moving. She spent her days working to transfer her job back to California, began packing up personal belongings to have them shipped, and endured a little extra hazing from Grace. She honestly couldn’t wait to get back to her crew in California, and since the news broke in the company she had received so many calls and e-mails excited that she was coming back, but part of it stung. The part where she had made such an amazingly close friend in Lizzy in such a short amount of time, and she was going to be the hardest to leave. 

The best thing about Lizzy was that she understood, completely. Lizzy had it all - the husband she was in love with, two kids, a dog, the white picket fence dream. She knew Gwen had been through hell with her ex, and Blake had been so amazing for her in so many different ways. Lizzy was the one that really got to witness the change in Gwen since she met Blake, and truth be told, sooner or later she would have forced Gwen to move back to California anyways. Gwen was just sad she couldn’t make Lizzy come with her, but she knew her life was in Georgia. It always had been. 

Work was slow, which she generally enjoyed the time off after such a long, complicated season before the holidays. Gwen was making it home at decent hours for dinner, and even though something inside of her that made her want to try to learn to cook, she typically let Taylor handle the kitchen. She’d been with Blake longer, after all.

No matter how good Taylor was in the kitchen, there were just sometimes that Apollo wasn’t having any of it. He seemed to be at the start of one of his picky phases again, and Gwen just hoped and prayed he would latch onto something semi-nutritious. God, please, not Kraft macaroni. Anything but Kraft macaroni. 

The specific ordeal she was having tonight was that he ate all of the pasta on his plate (white pasta, at that, which made Gwen cringe, but literally, it was all he would eat) but refused to touch any of the vegetables or protein on his plate. He continued to eat until every single last pasta sphere was gone, and he pointed to the stove.

“I want mooooore asta,” he announced, a little demanding. 

“Honey, you’re hurting the vegetable’s feelings. Why don’t you try to eat some of your carrots, they’re so yummy.”

“But I want asta.” His voice was getting more demanding, and Gwen sighed. 

“There’s no more _asta_ , bubs, you ate it all.”

“Asta.”

Gwen sighed again, and Taylor came up next to them to give it a try. 

“Apollo, did you know that carrots are Blakey’s favorite food? He thinks they’re so yummy!”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. 

“Yep, Blakey loves carrots, and broccoli. Those are his favorite things ever. Big strong cowboys love to eat their vegetables,” Taylor pressed.

“Nu-uh,” Apollo protested. 

“I promise!” she exclaimed. “Come on, I bet we could get your mom to call Blakey and he’ll tell you all about it.”

Apollo groaned a little bit, still not believing Taylor. Taylor nudged Gwen a bit to catch her attention and Gwen pulled her phone from the other side of the table. 

“Yep, let’s call Blakey and ask him, that’s a good idea Taylor,” Gwen chimed in. She pulled up his contact information and hit the button for a FaceTime, and a moment later Blake’s gorgeous dimples appeared on her iPad screen. Gwen’s face lit up when she saw him, such an obvious change from only a moment before.

“Hi baby!” Gwen practically squealed in excitement. 

“Look at my gorgeous girlfriend,” Blake grinned back, their eyes locked. Mmmm. She was having to will herself to behave over the site of him. 

“Blakey, we need your help,” Gwen said, as she turned herself so that Apollo was in the picture with her. “Apollo doesn’t want to eat any of his vegetables, and I told him that big strong cowboys love to eat vegetables, like carrots and broccoli, but he doesn’t believe me."

“No vegtles, I want asta.” Apollo shook his head.

“Buddy, your mom is right, you know, vegetables are my favorite! I eat carrots all the time,” Blake played along. “Did mom give you carrots?” Blake paused as Apollo nodded his head, and picked up a few carrots in his hand and leaned towards the screen to show Blake. “Man, I really wish I was there right now, I’d eat all of them.”

“Noooo mine,” Apollo said, putting one in his mouth and grinning at Blake mischievously. 

“Hey! Don’t I get any?” Blake exclaimed.

“Nooooooope,” Apollo said, as he ate another one and giggled.

Blake continued his back and forth with the little guy and got him to eat the majority of his dinner, much to Gwen’s surprise. Gwen looked to Taylor when he was done and motioned that she was going to go to the bedroom to FaceTime a little in private, and Taylor nodded and started to get Apollo cleaned up and ready for bed. Once Gwen closed her bedroom door her grin widened. 

“Blake Shelton, you are magical.”

“Babe, that was no big deal.”

“Stop it. You’re magical, and that’s the end.” She smiled, and sat on the bed and pulled her legs under herself. She leaned forward a bit and propped the iPad up against a pillow in front of her. Her arms came around her legs and she held them, smiling at him a little. She let out a sigh, as just seeing his face light up the screen was making her long for him - making her miss him so much more than she even thought possible. Gwen caught Blake’s face pull into a grimace, which concerned her a bit.

“Blake, what’s wrong?”

“Huh? Oh, I’m fine, I just…” he groaned in pain as he readjusted, and for the first time, Gwen realized he must have been laying in bed and he wasn’t moving that much ever since they got on the call. He sighed as his eyes shut tight, groaning again as he propped his head up to look at her. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I want to hear all about your day at work.”

“Blake, don’t lie to me,” she said softly. “You’re in pain, and you’re in Oklahoma, by yourself. That place is deserted and miles from anyone. What’s wrong?” Worry was plastered all over her face, and he felt bad enough that he was causing her the worry that he gave more detail. 

“I just…I had an accident on the ranch earli—“ 

“An accident?!”

“Gwen, it’s okay. I just threw out my back.”

“You threw out your back?” she repeated, a little dumfounded. “Can you even walk?”

“I, uh…haven’t tried? I’ve been layin’ here since 9am this morning or so…”

“Blake, oh my god!” she exclaimed. “Why didn’t you call me? Why am I just now finding out?”

“Gwen, you were at work this morning. And you haven’t been home for long. I wasn’t going to bug you durin’ the day.”

“Blake, you’re not bothering me. Oh my god. I’m really concerned. And I’m so mad at you for not calling me.”

“I’ll figure it out. I’ll be okay.”

“Has this happened before?”

“As a matter of fact, yes, it has. And I did figure it out.”

“Oh? And what do you consider successfully ‘figuring it out’? Tell me what happened last time.”

“I uh, you know. Just couldn’t walk for three or four days. But I know the guy that works at the only pizza delivery place in town and I got him to bring my pizza to me upstairs?”

“Blake,” she breathed, concerned, as she let her best puppy dog eyes take over the screen, staring back at him.

“Gwen, I felt ten times worse then. I bet I’ll be up and walking around by morning.” 

She wasn’t buying it. Gwen let him slowly change the subject, but it ate away at her mind through their entire conversation. He was good at masking the pain, but Gwen was better at seeing right through it. She played along, telling him about her day, and talking about random moving details, but she was simultaneously concocting a plan. By the end of the call, it was settled and the details were worked out. She stood from her bed, walked out into the living room kitchen, and dug around in her purse a little. She let out a breath as she pulled the pocket sized card with the charter plane company’s phone number on it.

She was going to Oklahoma. 

——

He heard the whirls of the helicopter coming from outside. He was stuck in between a dream and reality as he had dozed off, the sounds faint enough at first to brush them off as a dream, but soon, it was obvious they were real. But they couldn’t be. Why was someone —

— and then it hit him. It was Gwen. 

The helicopter whirls began growing distant again, and he heard the front door open and close softly, a bag dropped on the floor, and footsteps up the stairs. His eyes were shut, but her presence was undeniable, even in the silence. He heard her come in the room and walk over to the window, gently pulling the blinds open a little to let a bit of the late morning sunlight in. She took a few careful steps over to Blake, sitting on the bed next to him, her hand softly stroking his cheek. Blake inhaled slightly, taking in the familiar vanilla almond scent of her skin as he leaned into her hand slightly. Gwen leaned forward and kissed him gently on the forehead, and that’s when Blake finally opened his eyes.

“I told you not to come,” Blake groaned in frustration.

“Right. As if I was going to listen to you,” she shot back. “Baby, you look like you’re in so much pain,” her voice broke, as her hand gently stroked at his side. He tugged her with his opposite hand to come down to him, placing a kiss on her lips.

“Gwen…I told you not to come because you have a job, and a kid, and you’re in the middle of moving in with me and that’s a lot to deal with on top of a sudden trip to Oklahoma.”

“Quit being stubborn,” she said firmly, the blow softened by the kiss she placed on his lips immediately after. “You’re the one that put your girlfriend’s name on the private plane. This is what you get, babe.” She let out a chuckle. “This is actually your fault for giving me an easy way to get here.”

“Mmmm…” he moaned a little bit, and his arms were pulling her close again. She let him pull her to lay down with him and she cuddled up to his chest. Blake inhaled, taking the scent of her in again as his arms tightened around her. He honestly couldn’t believe she was actually there with him, and just her presence alone was calming. “I missed you so much, baby.”

Gwen unburied herself a little bit to reach up and kiss his lips softly, her arm coming around him and hooking back to hold onto his shoulder, being careful not to hurt him. He kissed her again and she felt herself melt against him and they shared a few more soft, sweet kisses. She nibbled at his lip, which caused them both to giggle before sharing another kiss. It was moments like these that she lived for. It was when she felt closest to him, the most intimate.

Blake sighed contently, his eyes meeting hers. She stroked softly through his curls, lightly massaging his forehead at one point as she just enjoyed being in those moments with him. He shifted a little and his eyes shut as his stomach suddenly grumbled. 

“When’s the last time you ate?” she asked, continuing to stroke through his hair softly. 

“I have those crackers right there,” he said, pointing up and behind him on the nightstand. Gwen reached back and picked up the package, and turned it over completely to show that there was nothing in there. She looked back to him, and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, I _had_ those crackers.”

“Blake, have you not left this bed since 9am _yesterday_?”

His silence was enough of an answer for her.

She sighed, placing a kiss on his forehead. “Okay. Come on, this is what we’re going to do. I’m going to go fix you something to eat, after I help you up and into the shower. Okay?”

He kissed her softly again, before letting out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “Okay. I can handle that."

“Take it nice and easy, just sit up first, okay?” she said softly as she sat up, reaching over him and pulling the extra pillows over to them to put behind his back as support. He held her hands and she pulled him up slowly, allowing him to take his time. His grip tightened as his face winced in pain, Gwen responded with a few _shh_ noises to soothe him. Blake sat up and Gwen stood up next to the bed, and shook his head at her.

“Gwen, you’re tiny, and I’m going to knock you out if you try to help me stand up.”

She held out her hands to him to take into his. “I’m a lot stronger than you think,” she paused. “Trust me, okay?” He hesitated, but nodded once as he took her hands and they pulled him up into a standing position. He groaned in pain and Gwen immediately came under one of his arms and gently put hers around his back and helped him walk towards the master bath. 

“I’m okay, lean on me if you need to,” she gave him permission, and he complied through gritted teeth, as he was trying to hide how much pain he was feeling from her. Blake hated to make her worry, but again, she was better at seeing right through that.

She brought him in and let him lean off of her and onto the counter as she went to the shower to turn the water on. Gwen grabbed a towel and put it right outside the shower before going back to him. Gently, she helped him pull the shirt over his head and helped him with his boxers. She caught him staring at her, almost dumbfounded.

“What is it?” she asked.

“I just…I can’t believe you came. I can’t believe you’re here right now.”

“Baby. Of course I did,” she offered a small smile, her arms sliding gently around his waist. She let her nails trail along his back, something she knew he loved, as she pressed onto her toes to kiss him softly. “Come on. You’ve done the same for me, multiple times, at that.”

“It’s just….” he started, then shook his head, backing out of what he was about to say.

“It’s just what?”

He shook his head again. “Don’t worry ‘bout it"

“Tell me,” she said softly. Her fingers gently massaged against his lower back as her eyes caught and met his. 

“Just not used to a girlfriend takin’ care of me. My ex-wife didn’t even do that,” he said lowly, almost as if he was embarrassed to say the words. He didn’t know if he was embarrassed because he wished she had been the type and he wanted that kind of care, or if it was embarrassment over the fact that he was married to someone before who didn’t seem to care all that much about him. He would tell Gwen anything, he knew that deep down, but sometimes he couldn’t stop himself from feeing certain ways over old wounds. 

Gwen sighed heavily, feeling the tension in his body as he confessed that to her. The silence fell between them for a few moments as she was searching for the right words to say, the sound of the shower running behind them as the only soundtrack. “I’m a mom, Blake. I have to take care of everyone. I want to take care of you.” She let out a breath, regretting that she made that sound so simple and common. It betrayed the depth of how she really felt. 

“That’s not really what I meant to say,” she shook her head, backing herself up on her words, and Blake looked down at her intently. “Something you said to Endy a few weeks ago. How you said you felt like sometimes I was having to learn to love all over again the right way - that feels very true. I was caught in something that sometimes felt like love, but I forgot what it was supposed to be like because a lot of times it didn’t feel like that. You’ve taught me what it’s supposed to be like, and you’ve shown me what you do for people you love and care about.” She paused. “And for people I love and care about, Blake, _not_ getting on that plane to come here would have been the stupidest thing I could have done. I _needed_ to come and make sure you were okay.” She let out a breath. “And frankly, I’m really glad I did because you’re in a lot more pain than you told me.” She leaned her head against his chest and sighed again, holding onto him gently and being mindful not to hold onto him too tightly. “You always put yourself second to me. And the time has come that you have to let me take care of you.”

He turned her chin up to him and kissed her deeply, bending forward a bit to deepen the kiss before he grimaced and pulled back from the pain. Gwen rested her hands on his shoulders to steady him a bit as she looked up to him, worry plastered on her face again. 

“Please, be careful,” she said lowly.

“Ugh, Gwen, that pain was _worth_ it.” He gave her a small, goofy grin, and she chuckled and rolled her eyes.

“This is _so_ not the time for you to be _Cowboy Casanova_.”

Blake let out a low chuckle, and Gwen’s hands moved down to rest on his hips. “Come on, I bet you’ll feel better after a hot shower.”

——

Gwen had helped him into the shower, and making sure he was going to be alright, left him to go back to the bedroom. She stripped the sheets off the bed and quickly threw them into the washer before swiping Blake’s phone and walking down to the kitchen. She hit his passcode to unlock his phone and pulled into the contacts, knowing exactly what she was looking for. Finding it, she stared at it for a moment and let out a nervous breath before swiping to dial the number. The first few rings were maddening, and finally the other line picked up.

“Hi baby!” Dot’s voice came across the phone, and it hit Gwen in such a sweet way. She knew how sweet his mother was, but it really warmed her heart to hear the emotion and how close they were.

“Mrs. Sh — I mean, Hi, Dot? This is Gwen, actually.”

“Oh, Gwen!” she exclaimed, with the same level of enthusiasm. “It’s so nice to hear from you. Is Blake okay?” Her tone turned incredibly worried all of a sudden, and Gwen almost hated herself for making his mom worry.

“Oh, well um, yeah, Blake is fine. He’s actually just kind of sore and tired from working the last few days at the ranch, and I’m trying to let him relax,” Gwen explained, lying just a little bit. She knew he wouldn’t want his mom to worry, but she had to say something or else her call wouldn’t make too much sense. “I was actually hoping that you wouldn’t mind helping me with something, if you have time, I mean, I totally understand if you’re busy and I don’t want to bother you…”

“Gwen, you’re not a bother at all,” Dot cut her off, matter-of-factly. “What do you need, sweetheart?”

“Well, I’m in his kitchen at the ranch right now, and I want to make him lunch, but oh my god, I have no idea what I’m doing or what he would really like. I mean he eats everything, but I’ve never cooked for him, because I suck, and…”

“Gwen, Gwen, take a deep breath, honey,” she chuckled a little bit. “You’re gonna make me cry though. I can’t believe you care about him that much that you’d go out of your way to call me like this…” She heard Dot sniff a little bit over the line, and Gwen bit her lip. 

“Dot, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she offered quietly.

“No, Gwen, you’re the sweetest thing and I’m so happy to help you with this, it makes my heart happy.” Dot let out a laugh and seemed to compose herself. “Okay, okay. I have an idea. Blake would probably really love a bowl of chili, and we can just make it with vegetables so you both can eat it. It’s not hard to make, either. Does that sound good?”

“That sounds so perfect,” she replied with a smile. “But wait, that sounds scary and complicated.”

“I promise it’s not,” Dot reassured her. “But I need you to tell me if he has a few ingredients…” Dot listed off a few things and Gwen went digging around the kitchen, pulling out the various things she was instructed to pull. She switched Dot onto speaker phone as she washed some of the vegetables and began chopping, throwing various ingredients into the crockpot she had found under the counter space. She squealed as she accidentally dumped too much olive oil in the pot and raced to scrape out the excess with a spoon, which caused both of them to giggle over her small panic attack. Gwen stirred all of the ingredients as she added the chili powder and cumin, as instructed, and closed the lid on the pot to let it cook for another 40 minutes or so. 

“Dot, it even _smells_ edible,” Gwen said with a giggle. 

“I told you, this recipe was Gwen-proof,” she giggled in response. “But honestly, you’re better than you give yourself credit for. Call me anytime you need me, okay? Take my number and put it in your phone just in case.”

“Thank you so much, Dot. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”

“Oh and Gwen? Lots of cheese on top. Chili is nothing without cheese.”

She laughed a little. “Okay, Dot.”

“And Gwen —?” she said once more, a bit softer to catch her before she disconnected the call. 

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to take away from your real mother, or anything, but…you really _can_ call me ‘mom’, if you’d like.” She paused. “I mean, you don’t have to of course, but you already feel like such a part of the family….” she trailed off. 

Gwen felt a few tears prick in her eyes as her smile grew, and she let out a breath. “I think I’d like that, _mom_ ,” she let out another breath as she absorbed the unfamiliar feeling as it warmed her heart. 

“I’m glad,” Dot said, a content sigh, before the call disconnected. 

Gwen wiped the tear from the corner of her eye that was threatening to fall as she climbed the stairs again, briefly switching the sheets into the dryer before walking into the bedroom. She set his phone on the dresser as her eyes met his, and she offered him a smile as she walked over to him. He was sitting with a towel wrapped around his waist in the overstuffed chair nestled in the corner of the room, an eyebrow raised at her. She stood right in front of him and his arms went around to rest on her ass as he tried to tug her forward, but she shook her head and refused. 

“Nooooo,” she said softly. “I’m going to hurt you if I sit on your lap.”

“I’m okay,” he protested, tugging at her again, but she couldn’t let her knees bend to sit on top of him. “Gwen, I promise I’ll tell you if I start to hurt.”

Gwen sighed a bit and at the next tug, she let her knees bend and she slowly lowered himself onto his lap. His arms came around her and she gently moved to let her legs hang off the arm of the chair, her head leaning in against him.

“What were you doing with my phone?” he asked. 

“You’ll see,” she said, pecking his cheek with a kiss. “Lunch will be ready soon. Was your shower okay?”

“I think I’m preferring these post-shower activities more,” he said with a low chuckle, the hand resting on her hip slowly moving under her shirt, in search of bare skin. He nudged her a bit to look up at him and kissed her, his hand holding onto her a bit tighter in that moment. 

She giggled a little as she pulled back, their eyes locking. “Seriously, what is with you? It’s like you being injured has turned you into _Casanova_ for real.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

Gwen shook her head immediately. “Absolutely not.”

“I missed my girl,” he explained. “It’s so hard being away from you, Gwen. You have no idea.”

“I think I can use my imagination,” she countered. She knew what that was like. She felt it tenfold about him, she was sure. 

They stayed cuddled together in the chair until Gwen finally looked over at the clock, gently pulling herself to stand to go check on their lunch. When she walked into the kitchen, she pulled the lid off and was instantly surprised at the amazing smell that hit her senses. She surprised herself even more as she spooned a bite from the pot and tasted it. It was that moment that it hit her that perhaps it wasn’t just Blake that was magical, it must have been his entire family, if Dot was able to make her do that off of a phone call. 

After ladling the chili into a big bowl and throwing on some extra cheese, she flipped the crockpot onto warming mode and made her way back upstairs. She grinned widely as she hovered at the door, obviously proud of her creation as she walked over to Blake, sitting on the arm of the chair as she handed the bowl to him.

“I promise it’s edible,” she said with a nod, letting him know it was okay to take a bite. She watched him carefully, suddenly nervous over whether or not he would like it. His eyes lit up a bit and turned up to Gwen a bit confused as he took a second bite. 

“Babe. If I didn’t know any better, I would have sworn you found my mom in the kitchen downstairs…” He took another bite as he leaned back against the chair. “This is incredible,” he breathed. 

The smile on Gwen’s face widened into a grin as her hand found its way to playing in his curls again. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, watching him completely devour the bowl. “She kind of was. I…called her and asked her for help.” She laughed a little. “Come on Blake. You don’t think I actually had this in my head, did you?”

He stopped immediately when he heard those words, and set the spoon down in the bowl. It was so abrupt, Gwen almost thought for a second that she did something wrong. He held the bowl in one hand, and with his other, he reached out for her and rested it against her cheek. She smiled a little and leaned into his cheek as their eyes met. 

“I think that’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me,” he said tenderly, which alone could have knocked her off her feet. He paused, savoring that moment with her, before breaking the silence. “Especially because it’s you, and you’re terrified of kitchen appliances.”

He let his hand drop and he picked up the spoon again, scooping a bite and leaning forward towards her slightly to offer it to her, keeping the bowl underneath the spoon. Gwen leaned forward and took the bite, a small bit of chili falling to her chin as she smiled. He put the spoon back in the bowl and his finger went to wipe it away, licking it from his thumb.

The dryer was buzzing, which caught Gwen’s attention as she stood up next to him. “Finish your lunch. I’ll make the bed and we’ll just take it easy the rest of the day, okay?”

“Sounds perfect."


	46. Knead

Gwen pulled the fresh sheets out of the dryer and brought them into the bedroom and started making the bed, with Blake silently watching her. She pushed onto her toes as her small frame stretched to reach over the king sized bed, which he found amusement in. He felt himself on instinct try to move forward to stand up and help her, but he was reminded of the pain he was feeling and had to stay still. 

After she restuffed all of the pillows into the pillowcases, she disappeared into the closet for a minute. She pulled her shirt and bra off, and left her black leggings on as she pulled one of his flannels around her body and buttoned it up. Gwen piled her hair on top of her head and turned to Blake’s drawers, pulling out a fresh shirt, pair of boxers, and socks. She walked back over to Blake with the items and kneeled in front of him, sliding the boxers up and around his ankles, slipping the socks on his feet, and standing up to offer him her hands.

Blake gave her a smile as he exhaled, not questioning her this time as he took one of her hands and slowly pushed off the arm of the chair to stand up. Once she felt he was steady, she kneeled again and shimmied the boxers up his legs until they rested on his hips. She quickly pressed onto her toes and kissed his cheek. “No shirt yet. I want you to lay on your stomach on the bed. Can you do that?”

“Mmhmm,” he responded, not questioning and taking a step forward and a few more slowly as he came up to the side of the bed, reaching out and sinking down into the mattress. He settled himself and found a decently comfortable position on his stomach, his right cheek laying against the pillow. She ran her hand gently down his back and patted him a bit to get his attention.

“Take this, and I’ll be right back, okay?” She handed him a pill which he put in his mouth and swallowed it with the water she handed him soon after. She took the glass back and set it on the nightstand.

“Okay.”

Gwen slipped out of the room and downstairs to her luggage where she dug around the side pockets for the thermal heat pack she had brought with her. She went into the kitchen and popped it in the microwave for a few minutes, retrieved it, and climbed back up the stairs. 

“Where does it hurt the most?” she asked, coming back into the room.

“Lower back,” he replied softly. “Gwen, what was that pill you gave me?”

Gwen let out a soft chuckle. “Pain medication. Is it helping?” She gently laid the thermal heat pack on his lower back which caused Blake to let out a moan.

“What kinda pain medication?”

She crawled onto the bed and sat on her knees next to him, leaning forward to place a kiss on his cheek. “The good stuff. It might make you sleepy, but I promise it will help.”

“Wheryda get it?” his words seemed to start running together as he yawned. Her hands moved up to the top of his back as she let her fingers gently dig into his skin as she began to give him a massage. He let out a groan immediately, which caused Gwen to pull back, worried she had hurt him. 

“Did I hurt you?”

“No, darlin’, that feels amazin’…”

“It’s mine, from last year, left over. I promise I didn’t buy it off the streets.” She giggled a little as her hands went back to him, continuing to gently massage. Her hands travelled up to his shoulders as she squeezed them tightly, trying to release the tension he was holding there. She worked her way back down, his various moans of approval as her guide, and she dragged the thermal wrap up to rest on his upper back as she gently let her fingers work on his lower back.

“Is this helping?” she asked quietly. 

“Keep goin’ please,” he said in almost a whisper. A small smile came to her face and she leaned up next to him and kissed his cheek again, as she continued working her fingers across his back, being sensitive to his body’s responses. 

“Go to sleep if you need to, I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

She continued for another few minutes, before he broke the silence.

“Gwen?”

“Yeah baby?”

“Can I hold ya?”

The corners of her mouth turned up into a smile as she pulled her fingers all the way down his back one more time, and gently moved the thermal heating pad back to his lower back as she moved to the side of him. “Of course you can,” she responded. “Why don’t you lay your head on my chest and get some rest?”

Gwen slid to lay down next to him, and Blake moved to partially lay on top of her as his cheek rested against her chest, and his arm went across her body and held onto her hip protectively. She ran her nails down his back with one hand as her other hand went into his curls, gently massaging his head. Her acrylics made him shiver, which she noticed immediately and pulled back a little. “Sorry,” she mumbled. 

“S’okay,” was the response she got, only moments before he drifted to sleep. 

——

The sun was setting by the time Blake began to stir. He yawned and stretched as he adjusted himself slightly, his hand tightening at her side, which got her attention and she opened her eyes. Her hand went to his curls and she bent down to kiss the top of his head. 

“Gwen?” he asked, his voice strained as his eyes turned up to her.

“I’m still here,” she said. “Hi, sleepy cowboy,” she said with a giggle.

He moved his arm up her body a bit to pull her down closer to him, now her arm was around his neck and his head rested tiredly at her shoulder instead of her chest. She smiled over at him and placed a sweet kiss on his nose, which caused him to open his eyes again. 

“I’ve been drugged,” he said, so innocently that it made Gwen chuckle. “I don’t feel a thing.”

“Good. You needed to rest.”

“Have you been layin’ here all day with me?” Gwen nodded. “Why?”

“Because I promised I’d be here when you woke up.”

A smile came to his lips as he stretched again, rolling off of her and onto his back, groaning a little bit before yawning again. His eyes widened open as he looked at the ceiling. Gwen sat up into a sitting position and watched him for a few moments, taking his hand in hers and squeezing it.

“Do you want to try and sit up for a bit?”

“Yeah,” he breathed with a nod, and Gwen reached behind her to grab the excess pillows again and pull them close to them. She repositioned his hand and held it tightly and helped him sit up, backfilling the pillows behind him. 

“Is that ok?” she asked.

“Almost perfect,” he said lowly, as his arm reached out to hook around her waist, pulling her against his chest. “Mmm. That’s better.”

Gwen reached across him to the nightstand to retrieve her phone before she let herself relax against him, his hand stroking softly at her back as she checked through her missed messages and e-mails.

“I’m not sure there’s anything better than this, darlin’,” he said.

She turned up to look at him and reached up, softly kissing him on the lips. “Can’t argue with that.” She smiled, before her eyes went back to her phone. Silence followed next. A few moments later, Blake felt Gwen’s entire body tense. Before he could get a word out, she abruptly sat up, her eyes locked onto the screen.

“Gwen?” he asked softly. “What’s wrong?” His hand reached out to rub her back, but the tension wasn’t subsiding. Another minute passed and she kept her face turned from his view, and now he was getting worried. “Gwen, you’re worrying me now…”

She took a deep breath in as a sign of life, but he recognized that breath. He knew she was forcing herself to stay composed over something. Her hand went up to her face to wipe away tears, and now he was really worried. 

“Hey…” he said softly.

She took a deep breath and turned to him with teary eyes, and shook her head. “Nothing, I just, I just got a text from Lizzy.”

“You usually don’t cry when Lizzy texts you,” he responded gently. She reached out for his hand and slipped her phone into his palm instead of saying anything else. He hesitated for a moment, but his eyes met the screen as he began to read the article. There were pictures of him and Taylor out at a bar plastered all over the tabloids website with reports from “confirmed sources” that he was having an affair with Taylor behind Gwen’s back. There was one picture that showed up at the end that looked to suggest a lot more than anything that had ever happened between them, and his body tensed in panic. His eyes went from the phone and up to Gwen, trying to gauge her reaction, but not getting anything. He felt the air leave his lungs as he tried to start stumbling and mumbling together an explanation. 

“Gwen, oh my god…these pictures aren’t even recent, they were from right after my divorce, I got really drunk at a bar that night and she had to come pick me up and…holy shit, Gwen, never in my life have I ever slept with —“

He was silenced as Gwen’s finger came over his lips to shush him, as she had crawled over to him somewhere in his internal freak out of having to explain this article to her even though it was nothing. Blake watched her closely as she dropped her finger, kissing him deeply instead. He kissed her back, a little confused. Gwen pulled back and exhaled, keeping her hand resting on his neck as her eyes met his.

“Come on. I’d have to be a real idiot to believe that,” she said. Blake sighed and let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in as his hands went to rest on both of her arms. “I just hate that they beat you up like that constantly. Like, I know the way they make money is to make up rumors and try and create drama, it just sucks. Lizzy tends to believe things she hears,” she shook her head and chuckled. 

“I just know you’re really sensitive to that stuff,” Blake replied. “I don’t want it to scare you off.”

“I’m kind of getting used to it,” she said with a shrug. “Like, I understand it’s part of the deal being with you. And I’m sure they’re going to publish things about Apollo one day, and it’s probably still going to shake me up a little, I won’t deny that. But Blake, you have to trust that I trust our relationship. What we feel for one another can’t be undone just because the tabloids want to tell everyone you’re sleeping with your assistant.” She let out another chuckle before she added, “Besides, I think we sleep together so much I don’t even think I could logistically figure out a time when she would even have a chance.”

Blake chuckled and pulled her close to his chest, holding onto her tightly and kissing the top of her head. “It _has_ been too long since I’ve seen you naked…” he said lowly.

“Mmmm….” she responded, her arms slipping to rest around his neck as her gaze went up to him. “I just think you’re still a little loopy from that pill, cowboy.”

Blake shook his head at her, which caused her to grin. He leaned forward a bit and took her lips with his, kissing her deeply as his hands began sliding up her body. He deepened the kiss as his hand slipped under the flannel she was wearing and found bare skin, lightly caressing it. Gwen pulled back and bit her bottom lip as she looked up at him.

“Blake, you threw out your back, we can’t…” her breath caught in her lungs as his mouth went to her neck as he began to kiss her there, lightly trailing up to her jawline. She tensed a little as he brushed against a particularly sensitive spot on her neck, his hands traveling north and barely skirting under her breast. “Blake,” she tried again, but he wasn’t stopping. “You’re hurt, we can’t have sex…”

“Don’t wanna have sex,” he breathed against her neck in between kisses. His hands fell down to grasp her bare hips again, before one moved out and fumbled with the buttons of her shirt. He slowly moved Gwen off of his lap to lay next to him. He pulled her close and his lips went back to her neck as his hand travelled up once more, this time gently stroking over her nipples, making her squirm.

Gwen let out a groan as she felt herself getting turned on, and he was literally the worst. “I feel like I’m getting mixed signals here,” she said with a laugh, gasping a moment later as he gently began rolling one of her nipples between his thumb and index finger.” _Blake_ , don’t start what you can’t finish. You need to take it easy.”

“I _need_ to get you off,” he protested in that low, sultry voice, and she knew she wasn’t going to be able to last much longer at her protest. “I’m highly drugged, I can’t feel anything, and it’s been three weeks…” his voice was desperate as he slid his other arm under her to bring her back up against his chest, and with both hands having access, took both breasts into his hands at the same time and continued to tease her, leaving small kisses on the back of her neck.

Gwen moaned at the contact, and was far enough gone that she wasn’t protesting anymore. Her thighs were clenching together as she bit her lip. Blake let one of his hands fall to grab the waistband of her stretchy leggings and pulled them along with her underwear down with ease, sliding a finger from behind against her wet center, which caused Gwen’s thighs to clench tightly around his hand, trying to build the pressure as she let out a frustrated moan. 

“You’re being so bad, and I’m going to hate myself if you hurt yourself, so please don’t…” she whispered, as she let her hips rock against his hand. He smiled against her neck as he let a finger slip inside of her, gently easing a second one in before curling them back together and making her gasp. He repeated the motion as he slowly let the intensity build, making sure to not let his other hand on her breast stop. “Blake, I’m already so close, oh my god.”

He kissed her neck deeper as his fingers continued to work, and it wasn’t long before she let out a moan and her arms held the pillow tight as her face buried into it, riding out an orgasm. She slumped over and he slowly pulled his fingers out of her as she recovered. There was something so sweet and innocent about how she got off so fast, but it really was just because he knew how to push her buttons. He paid attention to her body, and he knew what to do.

She readjusted and laid on her back to look up at him and she felt her cheeks redden as one of her hands came over to loosely cover her eyes. Her breasts peaked out from under the flannel fabric, and he was having to control himself in those moments. “Oh my god, Blake, that’s so embarrassing I only lasted like five minutes,” she said with a laugh. His hand came up to move hers away from her eyes and he grinned down at her before kissing her.

“Actually, that was pretty hot,” Blake said, with a grin, as his hand slid to hold onto her bare hip. He kissed her again. “It was probably at _least_ six minutes, though, babe.”

“Stop it, shut up,” she said, pressing her lips into his. She pulled back, her eyes locking with his. “Are you sure you aren’t feeling any pain?”

“Nada.”

She smiled and bit her lip, leaning to the side to delicately kiss his neck as her body turned into his. She felt his body sink back into the mattress fully, and her hand went into his curls again. 

“Sleepy again?” she asked.

“I’m just gonna lay back down for a little bit…”

Gwen let out a giggle, knowing it was probably the drugs talking. “Okay, babe. I’ll be right here.”

A few moments later, she knew he had drifted back off to sleep.


	47. The Move

“Cowboy, wake up.”

She really did want to let him sleep, but she couldn’t help herself, she was too excited. Gwen’s lips pressed against his as her hand slid against his bare chest, gently coaxing him awake. Blake took in a breath and opened his eyes, responding immediately with a moan as he returned the kiss, smiling a bit through it as his arm tightened around her. “I think that’s the best way to be woken up.” His other hand came up to rub his eyes a bit, adjusting to the morning light. He moved to shift and prop himself up slightly, letting his back relax against the pillows behind him. She was grinning at him, letting her finger gently trace across his chest. 

“January 26th,” she said with a smile, kissing him again. 

“January 26th?”

Gwen nodded, letting her arms go around his neck as she smiled, bringing her lips to his ear. “That’s the day I’m moving in with you.”

“What?” he said, a little dumbfounded and in shock. She had been working hard at trying to get her job transferred back to California, and he knew that it would happen eventually, but there had never been a date attached to it until then. He grinned at her as she spoke again.

“I just got the official approval for the transfer, and they’re going to give me time to get settled. My last day at the Atlanta office is January 25th, which means on the 26th…” she kissed him again, “…Apollo and I will be on a plane to LA for the last time.” She let out a breath. “Oh my god, Blake, I mean I know that we’ve been working for me to move in with you but now that it’s, like, approved and official and we have a date…” She grinned at him and she laughed a little.

“Gwen, oh my god, that’s next week,” Blake said as the realization hit him. 

“Oh my god, that’s next week!”

They both laughed over their equally enthused exclamations and Blake pulled his arms around her and hugged her tightly into his chest. 

“There’s no backing out now,” she said softly, as she clung onto him. “But I want to give you one more opportunity to get out of this before it happens…” Her eyes turned up to him, so innocently in that moment, as she waited for him to respond. 

“Gwen, I don’t have any doubts,” he said softly, taking her face into his hands as their eyes locked. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I want the three of us to be a family. More than anything.” His thumb moved slightly to wick away a tear threatening to fall down her cheek, and she just smiled at him. Suddenly, Betty jumped up on the bed with the two of them and startled them both, causing Gwen to laugh. “Well, I guess technically, the _four_ of us,” Blake amended with a grin. 

Betty laid down next to them and Gwen reached to stroke the dog’s back before looking back up at Blake. “You just make me so happy. I can’t live without you, Blake Shelton.” She smiled up at him. “And you’ve made such a difference in Apollo’s life already, I don’t think he could handle losing you, either. He loves you a lot.”

“I love him too,” Blake responded. Gwen smiled and kissed him again in those next moments, only to be interrupted by Betty as she jumped up suddenly and started to lick at their faces. Gwen squealed as she pulled back and started laughing, with Blake gently tugging her by the collar to bring her off of them.

——

Gwen had spent the rest of that day taking care of Blake, making sure to get him up and help him walking around the house as he seemed to be doing a lot better. As a change of scenery they spent a lot of the day in the living room downstairs, cuddling on the couch with movies and hot chocolate that Gwen made for them both. She came to the realization that it didn’t hurt as much that time. She knew with her moving date so close and Blake functional, she had to take the flight out the next morning to get back to Atlanta to get things ready to go, but she wasn’t dreading it like she normally did. She knew this was just the beginning, and she knew she would be reunited with him - for good - really soon. 

After she got back into the city, she went into superwoman mode. Within a day, her entire office was finished and packed up, shipped off, and she only had her computer left behind. She went home that night and took care of the rest that the moving company hadn’t already packed up, making sure to leave enough clothes and other essentials out for the few days ahead. With her apartment packed up and the charter confirmation on her phone screen, it was all starting to feel real. She was really going back to California. 

The next day coming home from work was even more surreal. The moving company had come by to actually pick everything up, facilitated by Taylor, and it was a lifeless apartment then. Nothing on the walls, furniture wrapped and hauled away, and even though it felt like early January all over again, she couldn’t help but miss out on sleep that night over her excitement. It was so close, she could taste it. 

It was all reeling through her mind now. The long, heartfelt goodbye with Lizzy. Handing her car keys off to the company that was going to ship her vehicle back to California. Slipping out to the leasing office of her apartment to go over final details, _because it wasn’t her apartment anymore_. Coordinating delivery of the new couch she had bought to the home in California from 3,000 miles away. Turning her office keys in, along with her building access badge to the Logistics Manager. 

It was all overwhelming, but a necessary and wanted step, and she couldn’t help but feel emotional about it. 

Apollo felt something was going on, and was especially clinging to Gwen when she got home that final night. She appeased him, holding him and stroking his back the majority of the night as he drifted off to sleep next to her on the air mattress they were using. 

Everything seemed perfect, until the next morning she woke up and felt like death. 

She was sluggish and nauseous as she dragged herself to sit up, clenching her hand against her stomach immediately. The sudden change of her sitting caused her to get another wave of nausea and she stood up, running for the master bath as she hunched over the toilet and tried to keep herself quiet as she threw up. Gwen focused on her breathing as she sat back on the ground, her head against the wall, her eyes closed. She let herself rest before pulling herself up using the lip of the vanity mirror, and she looked at herself in the mirror. Her pale skin flushed pink around her cheeks and she let out another breath as she flushed the toilet, stood up straighter, and walked back into the bedroom. 

All she needed to focus on was getting a few things packed, and the car would be there and take them away. She fought her way through it, beyond thankful that Taylor recognized how horrible she was feeling and was a godsend with Apollo, and soon the car service arrived and piled all of their bags and luggage into the back. Gwen pressed oversized sunglasses onto her nose as she dropped the keys in the rental office, and climbed in the front seat.

After a pit stop to the pharmacy for anti-nausea remedies, they were at the executive terminal and climbing the stairs as the crew prepared for take off. Gwen immediately sat down in one of the overstuffed leather seats, pushing the recliner to lean back as far as it would go as she curled to her side. Apollo wobbled over and nudged Gwen’s knee, curiously. 

“Hey bubs, why don’t you let your momma rest, she’s not feeling good,” Taylor said quietly, trying to urge Apollo over next to her instead.

“No, no, it’s okay…” she leaned forward and pulled Apollo onto her lap, his head leaning against her immediately as she laid back down and she held him close. She drifted off to sleep somewhere after that.

The next thing she knew, the plane touched down and jolted her awake. Her eyes went around the cabin and she saw Taylor sitting in the corner and reading to Apollo. She let out a yawn as she slowly let herself sit up, running a hand through her hair. Her hands clenched tightly around the arm rests on the seat as she felt another bout of nausea come on, and breathed through it, willing herself not to get sick again. The crew announced they were able to stand and deplane, but Gwen didn’t move an inch. 

Taylor came over with Apollo and sat next to her, squeezing her hand a little. “What do you need?” she asked Gwen softly.

“I don’t know why I feel like this. This is supposed to be like the best day ever and all I want to do is throw up.” She shook her head and sighed, keeping her eyes hidden behind those oversized dark sunglasses. Taylor glanced down at her phone. 

“Blake’s coming. I told him you weren’t feeling well. I’m sure he’ll help make you feel better once you see him.”

“Blakeeeey!” Apollo squealed suddenly, as her eyes turned up and saw Blake coming on the plane cautiously. The toddler ran over and grabbed his leg tightly and grinned, with Blake chuckling to bend over and pick the little guy up. 

“How’s my little cowboy?” he asked as he bounced him on his hip, making the toddler giggle and lean forward to place a kiss on his nose. Blake wasn’t expecting it and almost froze as he felt his heart melt over the innocent, pure gesture. He hugged him closely, protectively, as he remembered Gwen. He took a few steps forward, kissing Apollo quickly before handing him off to Taylor, and kneeling in front of her. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” he said softly, moving forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “Tay said you weren’t feeling well.”

“I hate this and I’m so sorry.”

“What?”

“Blake, this was supposed to be such a happy day and I just feel like throwing up. That sucks.”

“Babe, we’ve got plenty of time together,” he said, his hand resting on her bare arms as he caressed them slowly. “I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad, though. We can take our time to get to the car.” His hand moved up to gently push her sunglasses on top of her head and she tensed a little.

“I feel so gross, I hate you seeing me like this,” she said, trying to explain herself when he looked a bit taken aback. 

“Seeing you like what? Without all that fancy goop on your face? This isn’t the first time,” he said, shrugging it off. “Besides, we live together now, and I’m going to see you when you don’t feel good. And I just want to take care of you when that happens, I mean, it’s actually crazy how you can still manage to be this beautiful when you feel like crap.”

His words brought a faint smile to her features. “Blake, stop.”

“Nope. And I warned you I wouldn’t.” She let out a chuckle as she went in search of his hands, holding them for a moment before squeezing them. 

“Are you feeling alright enough to try and go to the car?”

“Yeah, we can try that.”

She slowly pushed herself up on the arms of the chair into a standing position. Her arms went around his waist, giving him a proper hug, feeling herself melt into him a bit.

“Welcome home, baby,” he said softly, kissing the top of her forehead. 

Gwen couldn't help but let out a little squeal of excitement as it hit her again, which caused both of them to chuckle.

"Blake, I'm so excited to be here with you," she said, a little zonked from the medication she had taken.

"Me too. Come on, let's get you home."


	48. Homecoming

Even though she kept her eyes closed the entire car ride home, strangely, it felt different. It felt new and exciting to be in the car like this, all of them heading to their house for the first time with her living there. She possessively kept a hold of Blake’s hand throughout the entire car ride and she would squeeze it now and again, to which he would do the same. It was these little, sweet gestures that made her feel even just a little better, and it was something to concentrate on that wasn’t her stomach. 

When they walked through the front door, Gwen immediately stopped as she took in her new official home. There was a large ‘WELCOME HOME!’ banner hanging in the foyer and a gorgeous, oversized sunflower arrangement with a card waiting on a side table for her. She felt his eyes on her as she looked back to him and gave him a small, tired smile.

“ _Baby_ ,” her voice cracked, as her hand reached for him and pulled him to her, closing her arms around his midsection to hug him tightly. “You didn’t have to do all of this. This was so sweet.”

“I wanted to,” he said, before kissing the top of her head and holding his arms around her. 

“You’re trying to make me cry again,” she said with a small laugh, shaking her head a bit as she held onto him with one arm and reached out for the card with the other. She opened the card and her head leaned against his chest as she read it.

 

_I know this has been a whirlwind romance, but I feel like I’ve known you forever at the same time. I know it took a lot for you to come back to California, and I’m so lucky to be the guy that you picked. I can’t wait to build a life together with you._

_Welcome home, sunshine._

_\--B_

 

“Ugh, Blake,” Gwen said, swiping at the tears threatening to fall as she chuckled a little, her arms going around him again. “How are you so amazing?”

“What can I say, I have good inspiration,” he said, nudging her. She turned her head up to meet his eyes with her slightly teary ones as she smiled brightly at him.

“I would totally kiss you right now, because I really want to, but that would be gross,” she said, scrunching her nose slightly.

Blake smiled down at her and leaned forward, placing kisses all over her face instead, causing Gwen to laugh and grin. Her stomach did a flip again which caused her joyous expression to fall, leaning forward to rest her forehead on his chest as she sighed.

“Come on. Taylor’s got Apollo, so let’s get you up to bed to rest for a bit,” he encouraged. 

She began to let him lead her up the stairs but she stopped halfway up. “Wait, we have so many bags in the car, do you want me to help you with those first?”

“No baby, I want you to rest. Come on, now.”

They finished climbing the stairs and went into their bedroom. Blake pulled one of his flannels from the closet and handed it to her, knowing she was going to reach for one anyways, and she took it from him with a smile. Gwen shimmied out of her clothes and brought the shirt around her chest, holding it tightly. Blake reached forward and pulled the duvet back so that she could climb into bed, which she did almost immediately as he began to tuck her in. He bent forward and kissed her forehead again.

“I’m going to go unload the car, and I’ll be back to check on you, okay?”

“Mmhmm,” Gwen said in response. “Love you.”

She dozed off somewhere after that. After what felt like an hour later, she felt the mattress dip from the opposite side as he came back to join her. Gwen shifted and turned to lay her head on the opposite cheek, facing him now, with her eyes closed as she let out a sigh. 

The next thing she knew, her eyes opened and it was dark in the room, only faint illumination coming from the bathroom light with the door cracked open slightly. 

“Hi, baby,” his words were soft, and immediately drew her attention as she shifted towards him. Her arm reached out for him as she snuggled up to him, letting out a content sigh as she rested against him.

“What time is it?” she asked. 

“You slept through dinner. It’s almost 2 am.”

“Oh god,” she breathed. “Where’s Apollo? Did he eat dinner?” Her voice was strained and tired as she adjusted to being awake. 

“He’s fast asleep in his room. Taylor put him down around eight before she left. He ate some pizza for dinner.”

“Whoa.”

“What?”

“It just catches me off guard sometimes still that like, I have help with him, you know? I mean, even when I was still married to my ex…” she shook her head a bit. “He wasn’t interested in helping.”

“Apollo isn’t a burden, Gwen,” Blake said gently. “I love him, and I like taking care of him.”

“He’s getting so big, I’m afraid sometime soon I won’t be able to carry him anymore,” she said. “It doesn’t feel like that long ago that he was so small he fit cradled in one arm.”

“He’s grown a lot even since I’ve met him.” 

“Do you want kids, Blake?”

The question was soft and innocent, as Gwen’s eyes peered up to his in order to fully take in his response. Blake’s arms tugged a bit tighter around her as she stayed rested on his chest, drawing small circles with her finger. Even though it was only a few moments of silence, it felt like an eternity as the words lingered between them in the air. 

“I’ve always wanted a family. It was something I came to realize I probably wasn’t going to have in my last marriage, and that was disappointing.” He paused, realizing she fell quiet and his eyes looked down at her, and he nudged her gently. “Hey. You okay?”

“Blake, I need to tell you something.”

Gwen shifted a bit and sat up to look at him, and he pulled himself to sit up too a moment later, leaning his back against the headboard as his eyes stayed on her. She reached forward and took his hands into hers and she sighed shakily, feeling herself starting to get emotional despite her best efforts. She couldn’t help it, though, it was all coming back to her - the last time she felt like this, thought she was in this situation, and being so scared over how Gavin was going to react if it were true. So scared, in fact, she distinctly remembered the few hours she spent crying in the parking lot after her first doctor’s appointment when she hadn’t even told him yet. Blake wasn’t Gavin, though, and even though she knew this logically, it was still difficult to fight these feelings. 

“I don’t want to scare you. Or get your hopes up. Or put stress on you. Wow, I’m really sucking at all three of those already, aren’t I?” She let out a breath. 

He squeezed her hands. “Just talk to me, honey.”

“Okay, well….I don’t know for sure. But there could be a chance…I mean, it feels like it did last time when I was…”

Her words drifted off as Blake hung on every last one of them. His brain was processing a mile a minute, trying to make sense, trying to anticipate her next words, but it was all in vain. It suddenly hit him like a pile of bricks. The sickness. Her asking him about wanting kids. Him remembering how she had told him about the hours of stress and crying she put herself through because she had been so scared to tell Gavin when she was pregnant with Apollo. 

“Gwen, do you think you’re pregnant?”

“I don’t know,” she answered immediately, letting out a breath and finding the strength to look into his eyes for the first time since she tried to articulate this to him. “I bought a test before I got on the plane, and I was just going to do it alone and figure out the answer instead of bringing it up to you but…” she paused. “Blake, I promised I was always going to be honest with you, and this just felt like one of those things I needed to talk to you about. I’m not scared of you like I was of him and…”

Her words trailed off again and Blake reached forward and pulled her small frame into his lap completely, holding her. Her words stung as they implied that she had once been terrified to talk to the guy she was with about certain things, and that was hard for him. Gwen was precious to him, and even though she wasn’t in that situation anymore it still really bothered him. 

“There is nothing in this world that you ever have to be scared to talk to me about,” he said firmly. “I want to know that you heard that before I keep going.”

“I know I don’t have to be scared talking to you,” she replied softly. 

“Good,” he said, kissing the top of her head before continuing. “Gwen, if you are pregnant…I’d be the luckiest man alive, baby.”

“Wait, what?” Gwen said, almost in disbelief as she looked up at him. “Blake, isn’t this like, the worst timing possible? You’ve got stuff coming up with your career, I literally just moved in with you yesterday…oh my god, the reporters would murder us and I’d be responsible for ending your career…”

“Timing and reporters be damned,” he responded. “Because Gwen, if this is happening, then it’s the right time for it to happen and we will make it work. I still love you the same either way this goes.”

It was those words that gave her permission to feel. Slowly, emotions other than fear began to creep up on her such as hope, longing, and maybe even a little bit of excitement over the prospect. She knew personally she had always wanted more kids, but she had also convinced herself otherwise to protect herself after she had Apollo. It was easier to tell herself that Apollo would be her only one instead of risking heartache over potential ‘what ifs’ and maybes. She also never took Blake as seriously as she was right then because the closest conversation they had had regarding the subject was in front of Blake’s mom back over the holidays, and sometimes those things were for show. 

“Do you want to take the test now?” he asked a few moments later.

Her eyes turned up to his again as she let out a heavy sigh and nodded. Her gaze turned to a pile of luggage in the corner of the room that Blake had hauled in from the car, and she gently reached to flick the nightstand lamp on before walking over to one of the bags. A little digging, and she pulled out the box and took a few steps towards the bathroom. Her hand went to the door frame as she looked back to Blake one last time.

“I love you, Gwen Stefani,” he said sweetly, which caused her to smile before disappearing into the bathroom. A few minutes later she emerged with the test in hand and set it down on the nightstand, taking a seat next to it, staring at it.

“What does it say?”

“It takes a few minutes,” she explained. 

“Come here, then,” he said, his hands going to her hips as he leaned forward before pulling her back to him. She smiled and turned to him, placing a soft kiss on top of his lips because she was tired of holding herself back. She knew she was sick and she hated that Blake had to see her like this, but she really did need that kiss in that moment. 

“Wanna talk about something else?” he asked. 

“Like what?” she asked, a little eager for a distraction, and thankful he thought to provide one. 

“Well, what’s on your list first to remodel around here?”

“Living room, definitely,” she replied. “I need to paint and, oh, I didn’t even think to go look at the new couch. Do you like it? Is it okay?”

“It looks fine to me. You know more about that stuff than I do,” he grinned. “I was waiting to test it out with you actually,” his voice came in low and sultry, which made Gwen giggle.

“Well, a promise is a promise,” she said with a smile. “And then when the truck gets here with the rest of our stuff, I really want to get Apollo’s room set up for him first. Just so he really feels like this is home. I know we’ve stayed here before a lot but it’s different now and I want to make sure he’s okay, and settled. I know he’s fine, but I still worry about him.”

“Sounds good. I know you worry about him a lot. He’s a strong little boy because of you.”

“I’m so happy now that he has you in his life to be a role model for him,” she responded. “He needs that.” Her head turned to the nightstand as she bit her lip in anticipation. The distraction had only worked for a few minutes, but it was probably time to see the test anyways. Tentatively, she crawled out of Blake’s lap and over to the edge of the bed and sat on her knees, glancing down to the nightstand.

A few moments of silence fell between them. “Gwen?” Blake asked.

“I’m not pregnant,” she mumbled quietly, her hands falling into her lap. She let out a breath and turned to Blake. “Wow, I’m literally the worst. I’m so sorry I just put you through that. I should have just kept it to myself unless it was happening.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m glad you told me,” he said genuinely. 

She couldn’t help but feel disappointed. And it was plastered all over her face.

“If this is something you want, Gwen, we can try to do this a little further down the road…I would want that with you.”

“Are you being serious?” she asked, her eyes going up to him. 

“I promise, I am. Having a baby with you would be a dream come true. I mean, I’d be totally clueless, and you’d be totally amazing at it, so you’d have to teach me and bear with me but…”

She giggled at him. His nervousness hit her straight in the heart with how genuine it was. 

“We’re so weird,” she said suddenly, which caught him off guard and caused him to just give her a questioning grin. “I mean, we’ve literally talked about getting married and having a baby and like, wow, I’ve just never talked to someone so openly before. Or, maybe I’m the weird one, I don’t know.” 

“We should be able to talk about things like that,” he said. “Makes us stronger.”

“Well, and unfortunately right now if I’m not pregnant, that means I still have some kind of sickness, and I will feel terrible if you catch anything.”

“I think I’ll be alright,” he said. “I don’t want you to worry about anything, just focus on getting some rest and feeling better. I’ve got plans for you when you’re well.”

“Plans?” she said with a grin. “Like…. _couch_ type plans?”

“Among other things,” he said with a chuckle. “You’ll just have to wait and see."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work has been draining me, and I've been sick, so I apologize for the wait between chapters. 
> 
> Thank you for reading and please let me know if you're still liking this story <3
> 
> xoelectric


	49. Shiver

She missed his warmth. One eye opened and she realized it was morning as the light came streaming in through the blinds. A moment later she rolled onto her back and reached her hand out towards him, searching for him. When she found him, she moved towards him, her arm holding onto his waist as she snuggled into him. He pulled her close and tugged the duvet up tighter around her, a small smile coming to her features as she kept her eyes closed. 

“We live together,” she whispered, her smile growing as she opened her eyes to meet his.

“I know, it almost doesn’t feel real.”

“I don’t have to worry about leaving you. It feels really good.”

He moved forward, closing the distance between them and planted a kiss on her lips. She smiled a bit as she kissed him back, her hand moving up and going into his curls to massage his scalp. He deepened the kiss and a moment later she shifted, sliding her leg across his lap and moving to sit on top of him. Blake grinned as she leaned forward again, his hands resting on her ass as she kissed him again. He moved to sit up and she squealed a bit at his sudden movement, which made him laugh. 

“You seem like you feel better,” he said, reaching to move a stray piece of hair from her face.

Her arms went around his neck. “It’s because you take such good care of me.” She kissed him again with a smile on her face, she couldn’t contain how happy she felt and that it was all really hitting her for real. “So about these ‘plans’ you have for us…” she bit her lip as she smiled, rocking her hips into him once. 

Blake chuckled. “Why don’t we take it easy today to make sure you’re really feeling better. I don’t want you pushin’ yourself if you don’t need to be, babe.”

“Mmm…fine…” she conceded. “But I think you should still tell me _something_ …” She leaned forward and let her head fall to his chest and her body to lean against him, her arms sliding around his midsection.

She felt a shiver go down her spine as his fingers traced circles along her back. “Well…to celebrate the fact that we’re livin’ together now, I wanted to ask you out on a proper date, that was plan number one.”

“Mmm…so far I’m liking these plans. There’s more?”

“Plan number two you already know about…we’ve gotta break in that couch like you promised. I’ve been lookin’ forward to that.”

“That’s a promise I’m going to do more than make good on,” she giggled. “Anything else?”

“One more. I hope you know where you packed your bathing suit…”

“Bathing suit?” she inquired, sitting up a bit to look at him with her eyebrow raised. 

“Now that this place feels like a home with you here, I felt that it was missing something…”

“Blake, what did you do?”

“Go look out the window into the backyard.”

Curiously, Gwen gave him a look before moving off of his lap to stand next to the bed. She walked towards the window, tentatively looking behind her as she felt he was watching her every move. She gently pushed the curtains back and looked down into the backyard, and she let out a sudden gasp. 

“Oh my god, Blake, is that what I think it is?” she practically squealed, her eyes turning back to him as a grin plastered across her face. 

Blake chuckled as he stood up from the bed, coming up behind her and sliding his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder. “What do you think?”

“I can’t believe you bought us a hot tub! You’re so crazy, cowboy, oh my god,” she said with a giggle. 

“I mean, if you think it’s too crazy, I’m sure I can get them to come take it back…”

“No! Are you insane?” she asked, turning in his arms and pressing up on her toes, planting a kiss on his lips with a grin. “Looks like we have something else to break in besides the couch.” 

Blake chuckled. “I like the sound of that.”

——

Just as Blake told her they would, they took it easy the rest of the day and pushed their date and other adventures off to the following day. He was being a bit overprotective of Gwen as he insisted she get as much rest in as she could, taking the majority of Apollo duties over from her to give her a break to recover. 

She almost couldn’t fall asleep that night, she was genuinely excited for the next day and their first fully well day together since moving in. Her heart fluttered whenever she thought about him taking her on a date. Sure, they had been out numerous times before, but the simplicity and the magic wasn’t lost on her. It was a weird feeling, like almost everything was happening again but for the first time. 

She thought back to their first date. It was also consequentially the first night they had met. It all still felt like a fairytale or a dream she hadn’t quite woken up from yet. The way their eyes met as he performed. The way he moved towards her when they hadn’t even exchanged any words, slowly resting a hand on her back to dance back and forth to the music in front of a crowd of hundreds. How he had the balls to send someone out after his show to go find her. It was so crazy how fast everything happened and how things fell into place after that. It was so crazy how she couldn’t imagine living life without him, and she was so deeply connected to him more than any other human being.

She thought back to the first time he flew her out to see him on tour. She remembered being a jumbled mess in her mind about how crazy all of it was - a simple girl like her getting flown out on a private jet by a country rock star for a date. That was the first night they slept together. And she would normally have waited a lot longer but god, she needed him that night almost as much as he needed her. She remembered the pulsing jets of the hot tub as they spent the afternoon secluded together, not worried about having to ‘entertain’ one another beyond just being present with each other. He slowly began mending broken pieces that she hadn’t realized were shattered. It was really the definition of perfect. There was never any unrealistic expectation that existed between them. It was simply want and need. 

After Todd had swung by the house to pick up Apollo for the evening to have a sleepover with his cousins, the house seemed somewhat quiet by comparison. Blake spent most of the afternoon outside working on something in his truck, and Gwen took the opportunity to really put in the effort to get ready for him. It wasn’t too often that Blake had really seen her too dressed up, between cross-country flights and a two year old to wrangle, and she was excited over the prospect. She felt a twinge of guilt as she stood looking at her clothes, only some of which were unpacked, knowing that the last time she was obsessive over her appearance was because of that stupid ex of hers for entirely different reasons. She knew that Blake knew how insecure and minuscule he made her feel and how she admitted to trying to compensate for that to just starve off any potential comments that could come out of his mouth, but she wanted Blake to feel like she cared to do that for him for the right reasons. Actually, she didn’t realize what an internal struggle it was for her until now.

Taking a deep breath, she walked away from the clothing choices and back into the bathroom, distracting herself by finishing straightening and styling her newly washed and conditioned hair. Her cosmetics routine was next and she took it slow, making sure to really enhance her brows, and popping on that signature red lip at the end. 

“Damn, you’re going to give me a heart attack one day.”

She heard his voice from the doorframe and she smiled, looking over at him with a grateful expression. She shook her head slightly. “You’re so crazy,” she said with a laugh, brushing it off, as her attention went back to the mirror. His compliments often melted her heart, but sometimes she was so bad at knowing how to take them without feeling embarrassed over the attention. 

“I’m not,” he protested. She raised an eyebrow and looked back over at him. He moved forward to close the distance between them, his arms sliding perfectly around her waist. “You’re just standin’ here in a robe but you make everyone else pale in comparison.”

She felt her cheeks redden as her eyes diverted from him to the ground. She knew protesting him was frivolous, but sometimes it just really hit her. He reached forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

“And the crazy thing is, you don’t even know it.”

His hand reached forward and tilted her chin up to him, forcing eye contact for a second before he leaned forward and kissed her. She inhaled, taking him in completely as she let herself get lost in that moment.Their lips parted, but she stayed hovering near his ear for a few moments. “I love you so much, Blake,” she whispered, before lowering off of her toes to her normal height again. She let out a giggle as her hand went forward to his mouth to wipe away the traces of her lipstick. “Maybe red was a bad idea, because that better not be the last time you kiss me tonight.”

“I think red is definitely my color,” he stated, which made her laugh again. “You almost ready, baby? I know not to rush a woman when she’s getting all dolled up, but…”

“I just need to change and I’ll be downstairs. Go ahead, I’ll be down soon.”

Blake nodded with a knowing grin and kissed the top of her head before leaving her to her own devices to finish getting ready. He made his way down the stairs and settled on the couch, mindlessly watching whatever was on TV for the time being. Sooner than he expected, he heard footsteps coming down the staircase and turned to see Gwen, a huge smile coming to his face. Her hair was worn down, long and flowing over one of her shoulders, and she was wearing a tight black dress that hugged the curves of her body in all the right places and flared out on the end of the short skirt. It definitely didn’t help him she was also wearing a hot pair of _fuck me now_ heels.

“Is this okay?” she asked almost immediately, sounding more like a schoolgirl nervous for a first date than she would have liked. His eyes got lost somewhere on her body and he couldn’t muddle the words together smoothly. He realized he was staring and tore his eyes away to collect himself. 

“I uh…” he began. “My god, Gwen, Jesus, _yes_ …”

“Look at us!” she said with a laugh, her hand covering her mouth as she was trying to break the lustful tension that she suddenly felt filling the room. “Literally, you’ve seen me naked, you’ve seen me sick, you’ve seen me broken down, you’ve seen me dressed up…” she shook her head. 

“And?” he asked, missing the point completely. 

“I just…don’t understand how or why you still look at me like you are right now.”

He let out a breath, the cluelessness and her innocence hitting him where it hurt the most. He could see the lack of self confidence no doubt from her last relationship creeping to the surface, and he took her hands. 

“That’s what love is, baby,” he said, squeezing her hands. “And, one of these days you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re damn hot.”

“Mmm…” she shook her head. “Not as hot as you. That’s not possible.”

They stood in silence for a few moments, eyes glued to one another before she spoke up. “I’m really excited for tonight. Where are we headed?”

——

It took the entire car ride, but Blake finally gave in and told Gwen where they were going. She had always talked up one of her favorite Italian restaurants in the city that her ex would never take her to out of pure selfishness of favoring a different Italian restaurant on the other side of the city. Apparently she had raved about the garlic knots being out of this world one too many times that Blake decided to see what all the fuss was about. Plus, he listened to everything she said and he knew that it was guaranteed to make her happy, and that was what he wanted. He wanted this night to be perfect for them. 

She practically squealed once she realized where he was taking her, and she felt relieved as they walked hand in hand down the sidewalk and there didn’t seem to be any cameras around. A calm, easy night with the love of her life was exactly what she needed, and what she was craving. Gwen slid into the round booth they were seated at in the back corner of the restaurant, with Blake only a few seconds behind. Her body moved slightly to lean against him as he sat next to her, both relaxing into the seat. 

A perky waiter soon came by and took their drink orders before their eyes fell on the menu in front of them.

“Okay, help the newbie out…what do I have to get here?” he asked. 

“Mmmm…that’s such a hard question, cowboy…there’s so many good dishes. Like, if you’re in the mood for pizza their pizza is amazing…but if you want pasta, that’s really good here too. It’s impossible.”

“Well, garlic knots are a given…how about one of us orders pizza, one of us orders pasta, and we share?”

“Whoa, Blake Shelton, I love the way you think,” she giggled, her body nudging at him in the side a bit. A few moments later the server came back and dropped off their respective glasses of wine and took their orders. Gwen leaned forward and took the stem between her fingers as she brought the glass to her mouth and took a sip.

“Do you think you’ll regret anything?” Blake asked softly, his vulnerability causing her to turn her head to look at him as she gently set her wine glass down. 

“ _Blake_ …oh my god, no. Not at all,” she said adamantly. Her hand slid onto his leg, resting on top of his thigh as she squeezed it a little to get his attention. “I’m in this one hundred percent. And yeah, we’ve moved fast, but the pace doesn’t mean anything to me because…because I just know this is right.”

Silence hung in the air before she continued.

“Don’t you?”

“Of course,” he said, knowing that it wasn’t even a question that crossed his mind. “I just want to make sure that with all the changes and adjustments, we still talk like we do now.”

“We’re going to be okay,” she reassured him. “I think we both know what it’s like to be in something where you don’t feel like you can talk to the other person, and I’ve never felt like that with you.”

The server came by in silence, dropping their appetizer of garlic knots off which caused Gwen to grin back and forth between Blake and the basket in front of them. He chuckled a little at her. He loved when she was endearing. 

“You must have their scratch made marinara with them, or you didn’t really have one at all,” Gwen explained, reaching forward to pluck one of the knots from the basket, dipping it carefully in the sauce, and turning to Blake. “Are you ready for this experience, Blake? You need to brace yourself.”

He found himself chuckling at her again. “Ready, darlin’.” With that, she moved forward and fed him the first garlic knot, letting him take the entire thing into his mouth. She watched carefully as he chewed a few times before his eyes lit up at her, and it was that moment she knew he had just fallen in love with that bread. 

“Oh….my god…” he said between chews, bringing a napkin up to wipe the corner of his lip where marinara had stained. “Gwen, these are amazing!”

“I told you I know my Italian food,” she replied. “I mean, I can’t cook it worth a damn, but I know what tastes good.”

“We can work on that. If you want.”

“You have the patience of a tree,” she said with a smile, her hand going forward to the garlic knots as she popped one in her mouth. She ate a second one and alternated back to her wine as she settled back, half against the booth, half against him. She felt his hand brush up against her thigh, their legs hidden under the tablecloth as her first instinct was that it was by accident, but it left her heated. Another brush of his hand up against her thigh, this one moving the hem of her skirt slightly up, and her eyes went to his as she thought maybe he was just trying to get her attention. It was a third brush, this one moving and trailing along her inner thigh and up towards her center that made her realize what he was actually trying to do.

“ _Blake_ …” she said under her breath, giving him _that_ look. The heat was obvious and growing in her eyes, as her legs fought the instinct to clamp shut around his hand. Her eyes went around the room as they were somewhat secluded in the back, the lighting low, and for now, the waitstaff none the wiser. It gave her a high she didn’t realize she would feel.

“Yes?” he inquired innocently, his hand moving slow, his index finger stroking up her inner thigh, her skirt pushed up as his hand was under it now. Gwen’s fists clenched the lip of the booth and she bit her bottom lip slightly, he heated eyes locking with his satisfied ones.

His finger came up and brushed against the fabric of her underwear, and she almost jumped as he stroked against her center. He leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Take them off.”

“Here?” she sputtered out in her high pitched voice, a little shocked at his request. 

“Mmhmm,” was all he breathed in response.

She felt her cheeks flush red as his hand withdrew slightly, and her gaze went to the rest of the restaurant. She realized nobody was paying attention to them, but the idea of sliding her underwear down her legs like this in public made her shudder. 

The server came by to top off their waters, and Gwen reached forward for her glass of wine, taking back some of the alcohol more than she anticipated.

“I can’t believe I’m about to willingly let you tease me when we are in no position to…” she let her words trail off as she let out a breath, drinking back some of the wine again and almost finishing the glass before setting it down on the table. Blake sipped his wine with his free hand, his eyes never leaving her. 

She moved subtly as her hands discreetly slipped up her own dress, her eyes flashing up to him because she just _knew_ he wanted to watch her do this. Her fingers found the fabric on her hips and they curled around it in a tug as she began to slowly slide them off, keeping an eye on her surroundings to make sure she wouldn’t get caught. She pushed on her heels slightly to pull them down to her thighs, peaking out from the edge of her dress hem. She paused for a moment as her eyes flashed up to him again, slightly enjoying the long tease. A few exaggerated moments and she tugged them discreetly down her legs, bending as they came to her ankles and she quickly worked them over her heels and clenched them in one fist as her back straightened up. Her hand went to his calf and she teasingly dragged it up as she straightened back into a sitting position, ‘accidentally’ brushing against his groin before stuffing the balled up underwear into his side pocket. He let out a barely audible grunt as she did that, willing himself to keep control. 

His hand came back to rest on her naked thigh, and he took his time. He started with light strokes purposefully away from her center, and she was obviously starting to get frustrated as she left herself in his hands for whatever he wanted to do to her. Gwen let out a shaky breath as she felt her thigh tremble for him, begging him to move up as she felt her leg move towards him, almost forcing it. Her grip on the booth wasn’t loosening anytime soon as she willed herself to remain composed. 

“Do you want another garlic knot?” she asked sweetly, an effort in vain to try and distract him.

“I’m enjoying something that’s actually not on the menu right now,” he deflected with such an immediacy that communicated to her that he wasn’t letting her distract him with anything. Another subtle trace upwards, farther this time, with his index finger caused her next breath to get caught somewhere in her throat. She was just fighting the urge to rock her hips forward at him, sure that her bottom lip was likely bleeding with how hard she was biting it at this point. 

“Touch me,” she said in a whispered whine, coming off more desperate than she intended. “Blake, baby, you’re so close. Please touch me.”

His finger brushed up her thigh further this time, but just shy of her center, which caused her to groan. He did it again, she was inwardly cursing, and realizing it was happening for a third time her body involuntarily moved towards his hand, forcing his finger to have contact with her center, and she let out the quietest moan that she could manage. Her leg slid up next to his, leaning against it just slightly which opened her legs more for him, which only made him grin.

“You’re going to soak this booth, sweetheart,” he mumbled in that sultry voice.

“It’s leather. I don’t fucking care.” She let out a breath.

His fingers moved up and finally began tracing lightly along her center, teasing her there, moving to the opposite thigh and lightly brushing there as well. Gwen couldn’t help it, she was squirming slightly at the contact, doing her best to keep somewhat under control and largely succeeding, but he was just effecting her so badly. She only faltered when she felt a finger suddenly slip up and push into her, and her hand came off the lip of the booth and onto Blake’s thigh, squeezing it tightly as she let out a shaky breath. He chuckled a little, watching her.

They both froze and turned their attention to the waiter as he came back, setting the plates down in front of them. His finger stilled inside of her, their actions still hidden beneath the table cloth.

“Pepper?” he asked, gesturing to Gwen’s pasta.

“Nope.”

“How about another glass of wine?”

“Nope, all good.”

“Well, I hope the food looks excellent and is up to your standards. Here, we make all of the sauces from scratch, and we use the finest quality of cheeses, so please, it there is anything at all…”

“Thankyousomuch I think we’re good here,” Gwen blurted out suddenly, but forced a huge smile to the waiter who seemed to be a bit taken aback by her abrupt comment, before nodding his head with a smile and retreating to the kitchen. Once he was gone, Blake let out a chuckle of the amused grin that was plastered on his face. He curved his finger inside of her again and she moaned, not able to stop as he slipped a second one inside of her soon after. 

“Blake, we need to stop,” she said with a giant sigh, her hand gripping at his thigh again. “What if we get caught? What if someone comes in here with a camera and publishes _Blake Shelton fingers girlfriend and gets her off at local Italian joint_?

“Then I’d say that’s a lot more interesting that all of the crap gossip news out there,” he said, which caused them both to laugh. He leaned down and pecked a kiss on her lips as he slowly withdrew his fingers from her, keeping his hand rested on her thigh.

“I promise there’s plenty more where that came from tonight."


	50. What Goes Around

The food in front of them was a distraction, but it wasn’t enough. She was craving him more, and she was almost resenting the fact that she let him bring her out like this. 

Gwen gently stabbed her fork into the penne pasta on her plate before bringing it to her lips to take a bite, her eyes looking to the side to catch Blake in her peripheral. He had a piece of pizza balanced in one of his hands, taking a bite himself before grinning and holding the pizza out to her. She leaned towards him and took a bite of his pizza, her eyes widening with approval over the simple yet delicious Margherita he had chosen for them. She took a few more bites before setting her fork down on the plate, drawing back close to him and snuggling slightly into his side. 

“Not hungry?” he asked. 

She let out a chuckle. “Different kind of hunger, babe.” Her eyes cast up to him knowingly, and he got the message. 

“You’re going to need your energy tonight, I’d suggest to try and eat a little more.”

“Oh, will I?” she said with a smile up to him, right before she leaned in and placed a kiss on his lips. She pulled back and kept herself turned towards him, watching his hand move down to pick up a piece of pizza again. He took a bite first, and then offered it to her once more. 

“Yes. And, you’re just getting over being sick. I don’t want you to go down that path again.”

“You’re not only sexy, but you’re considerate. How did I get so lucky?” She nuzzled a little into his neck as a smile came across her features, his hand sliding around her waist as his fingers gently stroked against her. 

They took their time finishing and sharing their meals with one another and just enjoyed the low key, no fuss dimmed restaurant with one another’s company. Her mind began to wander to what the rest of the evening would hold, and she ached to be able to run her hands along his bare chest once more. There was just something about him that made her addicted to him, needing him more than ever after these past few days especially. 

Eventually the check was settled and reluctantly, Gwen sat up a bit straighter to allow Blake to move out of the booth. He turned back and held his hands out to her and she made her way out behind him, taking his hands to help her stand up. She slid her handbag up onto her arm before she took his hand in hers again, her other hand coming across her body to hold onto his arm, too. She hugged his arm tightly and leaned against him as they walked towards the exit. Blake reached forward and opened the door for her and they walked a few steps out, before Gwen tugged at him and stopped them both in their tracks.

Without letting him get a word in, she turned and pressed up to kiss him. His arms wrapped around her on instinct as he deepened the kiss, his hands tightening at her waist. She smiled a bit as she moved to kiss him again, pulling back just slightly and letting out a breath against his lips. She hovered there for a few moments before she let out a gasp, suddenly startled as she felt camera flashes on them suddenly. 

“Oh my god,” she said softly, her attention averting to the ground, instinctfully pulling back. “I’m sorry Blake, I wasn’t thinking, I…”

“Sweetheart, it’s okay,” he said, squeezing her waist as he planted a quick kiss on her lips again. “So, they have photographic proof that we kiss now. If only they knew.” He chuckled, which caused her to smile.

“Let’s go back to the truck,” she said, a bit tentatively. He nodded and she took his arm with both of hers again as they continued to walk down the sidewalk, a few of the reporters with cameras crossing the street and coming a lot closer to them as the flashes continued. Her grip tightened on him when she realized how close they were.

“Hey Blake, how’s it going tonight man?” one of them called. 

“Hi guys, we’re doing good, hope you are.”

“Do you come to this restaurant a lot? What’s the story here?” another asked. 

Blake glanced down at Gwen as they continued walking. She was showing no signs of letting go or breaking her focus away from getting back to the truck, but she was hanging in there. 

“Actually, it was my first time, but the food was pretty great. It’s one of my girlfriend’s favorite places.” That got Gwen’s attention as she looked up to him to meet his eyes briefly, with a small smile, before turning her gaze back ahead of them. She wasn’t engaging with them like Blake was, and he felt really proud of her in that moment with how she was handling the attention on him.

“Ahh, I see. And Gwen, how does it feel to be dating one of country’s hottest stars right now? I mean, this guy is nominated for so many awards this week including Album of the Year, that has to be pretty exciting?”

She heard her name and that pulled her attention briefly to the reporter before she looked up to Blake. She wasn’t aware of any awards or nominations, and that part threw her for a few minutes as she tried to come up with some kind of response. It hit her that on some level she was in the public image now and she would have to learn to deal with this kind of thing sooner rather than later. “Blake is wonderful. He’s one of the most genuine men I’ve ever met. I’m so lucky that I found him.” The words left her lips smoothly, not rehearsed, but certainly composed as she squeezed Blake’s arm a bit out of nervous habit, or just simply the need to feel him. 

They walked up to the passenger’s side of the truck and Blake stopped, pulling his key fob out and opening the door for Gwen. She let go of his arm reluctantly and climbed inside, buckling up as he shut the door behind her. 

“Ya’ll have a great night,” she heard Blake say faintly as he waved. She watched the few reporters take off with their cameras without a fuss. A few moments later the front door opened and Blake climbed inside, and her head turned towards him as his hand simultaneously rested on top of her thigh. 

“Gwen…wow. I’m…I don’t want you to take this the wrong way or anything but, baby, I’m so proud of you.” 

“That was nerve-wracking,” she said, letting out a nervous breath and a laugh. Her hand went down to the one he placed on her thigh and she squeezed it to release tension she didn’t realize she was holding in her body. She rocked a slightly back and forth in the seat. His other hand moved to steady her at the waist as he reached over the center console and placed his lips on hers, which stilled her body. He hovered there as they let out a mutual breath, feeling it on the other’s skin. 

“You did really great. I mean I’m just surprised, you’ve come so far.”

“I had you there, Blake,” she explained. “I know I don’t have to be nervous about that stuff when you’re around. I mean, I get anxious when Apollo is with us and that probably will never go away, but I know you’ll take care of us. You already have. So much.”

“You take care of me too,” he replied, his hand coming up to rest on her cheek. “More than anyone ever has.”

She tilted her head a bit and kissed his hand on her cheek with a grin before settling back into the passenger’s seat. Blake leaned forward and started the truck, his hand going back to hold hers once he backed out of the small parking lot and began heading down the road. The faint sound of the radio was the only soundtrack, the sultry beginning chords of Justin Timberlake’s _What Goes Around Comes Around_ struck through the air as she felt the mood concentrate. The ethereal beat continued, coupled with Justin’s smooth voice coming in on the first verse and her free hand moved forward to turn up the volume just a bit. She relaxed back against the seat as her fingers traced absentmindedly on top of his hand as it gripped her thigh, his thumb stroking bare skin underneath. 

_What goes around, goes around, goes around_  
_Comes all the way back around_  
_What goes around, goes around, goes around_  
_Comes all the way back around_

Those chords, his hand, and the cowboy next to her were going to be the death of her that evening, she was sure of it. Gwen let out a breath as she concentrated her gaze out the window and squeezed his hand, biting her lip in anticipation for what was to come. He barely got his truck into park before her body shot over the center console and her lips were on his, missing his taste, nipping at his bottom lip before deepening the kiss. Her hands rested at his neck as his went to her hips to support her. She let out a breath against his skin, trying to catch it as she trailed kisses down his neck, letting her forehead rest against his nose for a moment. Her longing for him won her over as she met his eyes, weaving forward slightly, hesitating back just a hair before giving in again, pressing her lips to his and sliding her tongue inside of his mouth. His hands tightened around her hips and in one swift movement, he picked her up over the center console dividing them and set her down gently in his lap. She shuddered at the sudden movement as his arms went around her to hold her close to him, their lips parted, and waiting for more. 

“Sorry. I couldn’t stop myself,” she whispered. Logically, she knew they were maybe ten feet from the door to their home, but her body won out. She offered a small smile as her neck craned towards him again, brushing his lips. 

“Hot tub or couch?”

Her lips smiled against his. “Both.” It was barely audible. “The kitchen table. The wall. The living room rug…” She nibbled at his lip. 

Blake breathed. “That’s a long night, baby.”

A faint giggle. “Are you up for it?”

Without a response, he held her with one arm as he moved forward to pull the key from the ignition and opened the car door, illustrating that he was _more_ than ready. He helped her down before standing himself, taking her hand immediately and tugging her towards the door, a quick click on the key fob to lock the truck by the time they were halfway to the door. She jogged a few quick steps in her heels to catch up to the tall cowboy’s stride and she held onto his arm, waiting intently as he pushed the key into the lock and opened the door. They entered, he turned to hit the deadbolt, and the second it was secured Gwen’s small frame had his pinned back up against the door, her hands running under and up his shirt, taking the feeling of his bare chest in once more. Blake’s hands came forward and fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and pushed it off, leaving him shirtless as Gwen’s tongue found its way into his mouth again, her fingers trailing against him. 

“Hot tub,” she breathed against his neck, nipping at him a few times before pulling back to meet his eyes. “I know we have all night, and I’m trying to take it slow and enjoy us, it’s just…” she shook her head, letting out a shuddered breath. 

“Can’t keep my hands off of you either,” he finished her thought, his hands squeezing at her hips as he kissed her forehead. “Come on, let’s change really fast and I’ll go start it up.”

He took her hand and led her upstairs to the bedroom, letting go of her only once they moved inside. He draped his shirt over the corner chair as he moved into his closet, grabbing a few towels and changing into swim trunks. Gwen moved down to one of her suitcases, and carefully began digging through in search of her bikini. Her eyes flashed to Blake as he moved past her, exiting the bedroom to head to the backyard as he fired up the hot tub. Tentatively, he moved his hand into the water to test the temperature and once a few minutes had passed and it was warm enough, he climbed over the edge and lowered his body against the pulsating jets. He let his body float down as his head rested back against the side, relaxing as his eyes closed, the last view of the clear night sky.

“Blake?” her soft voice came, which caused him to sit up a bit and his eyes opened. Gwen had snuck up right next to him as his mind wandered, and the moment his eyes laid on her he thought he was going to have a heart attack. She was standing completely naked in front of him, her finger outstretched as a towel hung from it in a gesture. “I couldn’t find a bathing suit. Do you think this is alright?” The look in her eyes was innocent, yet mischievous, and if Blake was a betting type of man he would have put money down that she had found a bathing suit, but instead, she was just trying to fuck with him. And damn it, it was working. 

“Get. In. Here.” His voice was low, territorial. And definitely possessive. 

She grinned, dipping her toe into the water before fully committing, letting the water take her as she lowered down next to him. She moved to him next, pinning him with his back against the hot tub, her naked body rubbing and bobbing up against him from the jets. Her arms rested around his neck and she gave him a sly smile. His hands ran down her back and cupped her ass, squeezing it, bringing her closer into him in that moment. 

“You feel a little overdressed,” she said, biting her lip as her hands slid down and tugged at his elastic waistband. 

“Damn it, take them,” he chuckled, and almost stuttered, helping kick the swim trunks off and leaving them both naked together. So much for bathing suits. 

She let out a moan against his lips before she kissed him, deepening slowly, letting herself get lost in it. She moved closer and her breasts pressed up exquisitely against his chest, two bodies melting together. He deepened the kiss, his hands moving to her legs and he tugged them around him, holding her body up against him as they continued making out. 

Sooner rather than later, their make out session became more heated, alternating between intense, deep kissing and delicate bites and sucks down the neck, anything to get more skin contact. One hand moved down in between her spread legs and he felt around, pulling himself up to her center as he slowly began pushing inside of her. She groaned as she adjusted to him, her hands clenching tightly on his shoulders as their lips barely touched, her breath ragged. He began to rock into her, establishing a rhythm as her lips claimed his again. 

Her breathing quickened and her hips moved into him, her legs hooking around him tighter as she used the wall of the hot tub for leverage, pushing herself harder against him, smiling when he let out a shaky breath and a grunt of his own. They continued, rocking and thrusting as he puller her into him to force himself deeper, the familiar gasp against his neck as her hands tightened and she began to ride him out, which at that time, he also let himself go.

Blake’s back was fully leaning against the wall of the hot tub as she clung close to him, their breathing both ragged but trying to steady at the same time. He stayed inside of her as he held her to his chest, placing a few light kisses on the top of her head. Silence hung in the air for what seemed like the longest time, the only soundtrack of the hot tub jets to pierce their thoughts. They didn’t need words though, they were both perfectly content with just being. 

A small, almost hoarse voice from her broke the silence. “What was that reporter talking about earlier, anyway?”

Her head moved off of his chest and her gaze came up to him as their eyes locked, her hands sliding to his shoulders again. She watched him shift a bit, almost as if searching for an explanation. 

“Yeah, so um, it’s nothing, really. The People’s Choice Awards are this week and they have me nominated for some of their categories…”

“Blake, oh my god. That’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Ehh…I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. We’ve had a lot going on, Gwen - you and Apollo moving out here, settling in, you didn’t feel well...it wasn’t as important as any of that.”

“Would you have told me if all of this hadn’t happened now?” she inquired. She had a feeling she knew the answer, because Blake had this affinity and this need to downplay his accomplishments. Like he wasn’t enough, or confident, or something. Gwen knew his ex had really messed with him when it came to that, and she really hoped those wounds still weren’t that deeply rooted. Instead of waiting for a reply any longer, she continued. “When is it?”

“Couple days from now. Friday, I think.”

“Is this one of the ones on TV where you go and show them how charming and funny you are in an interview and you get to go up on stage when you win and give a speech?” Her innocence and lack of experience was endearing. It made him chuckle.

“Somethin' like that, honey,” he replied. She pecked him on the lips quickly, just feeling that he needed it in that moment. 

“What are you wearing?”

“Wasn’t plannin’ on goin’”

“Blake…”

“What? Those things aren’t that fun anyways, I’d rather be home with you and Apollo.”

She let out a content sigh, a small smile coming to her lips because even though she was trying to convince him of the opposite, the fact that staying home with her and Apollo was a want of his still did a number on her emotions. 

“That guy said you were nominated for a bunch of things. Blake, I think you should go. Your fans deserve a chance to see how amazing you are. As much as I want to keep you to myself, I can’t, and that would be really selfish.”

“I mean, they asked me to perform n’all…but…”

“Oh my god, they wanted you to perform on TV and go and accept all of these awards telling you how amazing you are and you weren’t even going to tell me? You weren’t even going to go?”

Blake started laughing again. “Gwen, I work on _The Voice_ , I get my fair share of time on TV.”

“Something is holding you back,” she observed, just by reading him. There was something there that she wasn’t quite sure of, something she was determined to coax out of him. “I literally just fucked you in a hot tub, you shouldn’t be this tense,” she offered with a smile, trying to keep the mood light while also prying a bit. 

“I just don’t think it’s… _I’m_...a big deal.”

Her eyes widened at his sudden honesty with her, and he looked vulnerable in those moments. She hated and loved seeing him like this in the meantime. Hated it because he shouldn’t feel like that, especially because none of it was true. But there was a hint of love there, because he was able to show himself like that to her completely. 

“Blake Shelton, you’re a king,” she began gently. “I’m not pretending to know a ton about country music here, but my god. You take my breath away when you sing. You so easily command a crowd of hundreds and thousands by just being yourself. Your songs have such a true meaning to them. You’re literally a work of art, and it kills me that you can’t see that about yourself, because everyone else does.”

He kissed her then. His hands gripped at her waist again and slowly he switched their positions, pushing Gwen’s back up gently against the wall of the hot tub as he caged her in with his body. Their lips parted to catch breaths, their eyes meeting again. 

He let out a breath against her lips. “I’ll go…if you go with me,” he mumbled. He felt her lips turn into a smile against his before she pressed them again, slipping her tongue inside to deepen. 

She moved to his ear. “I’m yours,” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I say this at different milestones, but WHOA, here we are at chapter FIFTY. I can't believe it.
> 
> I am so thankful for the support and love from every single person that takes the time to comment, it really makes my day so much better.
> 
> Thankful for a certain person that I had a random conversation with back in October floating the idea of this fic by and she has encouraged me wholeheartedly through every chapter, twist, turn, and fuck. Love you Brie.
> 
> I was listening to What Goes Around Comes Around by Justin Timberlake a lot today and it evokes this really demure, sultry mood that just seemed like perfect inspiration for part of this chapter. I hope the emotions hit you in the core like they have with me.
> 
> Love to all <3
> 
> xoelectric


	51. Style

She didn’t remember what time they made it up to bed that night, but she knew it was somewhere close to early morning. They stayed in the hot tub until her fingers began to prune, slipping out then slipping the towels around their bodies as they turned it off and headed back inside. The house was dark, and it only took a moment after shutting the door and locking it for Blake’s arms to slide around her waist again, his lips finding her neck as he slowly began trailing kisses up to her jawline. He hit a particularly sensitive spot with his bottom lip and she gasped slightly, a shiver rippling through her body that he felt it against him. His hands stretched around her waist more and moved up, slowly undoing the towel and letting it fall to the floor. She was standing in front of him naked, her back up against his chest. Her body covered in goosebumps and she felt her nipples harden, suddenly exposed to the chilly air.

Gwen bit her lip and reached back in between them, tugging his towel off and letting herself lean back into him, feeling his erection against her. She should have known it wasn’t going to end at the hot tub. His warm hands began to wander up her body, lightly teasing her breasts with barely there strokes, and she shuddered as her hands gripped him.

Noticing she was cold he slowed his movements down, kissing her neck and leaning to whisper in her ear. “Let’s go crawl under the covers and get you warm, baby.” Gwen smiled a bit and turned into his arms, pressing onto her toes to kiss him as his hands went down to cup her ass. He deepened the kiss, tugging her up with his hands to let her legs spread so she could wrap them around his waist. Once he was holding her she pulled back a little and smiled, placing a few kisses on his nose and cheeks.

Next thing she knew, he was gently laying her down on the mattress and crawling on top of her. He tugged the duvet around them both tightly as he let his body lay on top of her, his warmth the best sensation she had ever felt against her goosebumped skin. He held her, their make out session intensifying, showing no sign of stopping as he slid into her once, twice, three more times, each round more intense than the last. So intense that they passed out exhausted, their bodies entangled with one another. 

She was up the next morning before him, and gently peeled her body off of him and walked to the closet, throwing on some thick sweats and socks with how cold she was. She gently pulled the covers over Blake and placed a barely there kiss on his forehead before she tucked back into the closet, being careful to be quiet. Gwen was going through his clothes, pushing shirts down the rack as she kept looking, but coming up empty on her search. She sighed, and opened a few drawers, digging around to do the same.

“Gwen?” a sleepy cowboy voice came faintly from the other room.

She poked her head out of the closet and smiled a little at him. “Hi baby,” her cute, soft morning voice came. 

Blake groaned a little as he shifted to get comfortable, his eyes meeting hers briefly before he closed them again. “I miss you. Come back.”

Her heart skipped a beat and her legs carried her back over to the bed, crawling on top of it and sitting down on her knees right next to him. He was laying on his back, just barely propped up, his hands resting on her body as soon as she joined him again. Gwen leaned to the side and let herself lean against him, propping her left cheek on her hand as she didn’t break eye contact with him, her legs curled under herself. 

“Mmm. That’s better,” Blake said, his fingers tracing along her hip. “More clothes than I’d prefer, but it’ll do.”

She giggled. “Blake, if I stripped these clothes off right now, you and I both know we will never leave this bed.”

“Well, that’s true, yes, but I’m not seeing the issue with that.”

“I see an issue with that. I was just in your closet. What, exactly, were you planning on wearing now that we’re going to this awards show?” Her eyebrow raised curiously at him.

“Dunno. Pants? A shirt? I’ve got some of those in there somewhere.”

“No, what you have in there are shirts that look like circus tents on you because you haven’t bought any shirts that fit. That will not do. And I’m not letting you wear jeans, and you literally own nothing else.”

Blake groaned. He knew where this was going.

“I’m calling Mariel today and she’s going to help us. She’s my stylist friend that knows a lot about these events.”

“Gwen, it’s not like I need a tuxedo or anything. Baby I’m sure something in my closet is fine.”

“Blake, I’ve seen all five of the shirts you own, and none of them are up to par.” She leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Come on. Do this for me? It won’t be painful, I promise I’ll be with you the whole time.”

“Do I get another kiss if I say yes?”

She leaned forward again and kissed him deeply, smiling through it. “You get as many as you want if you say yes.” She kissed him again.

——

After putting in a call to Mariel and getting up and dressed and to Todd’s house to pick Apollo up, the three of them found themselves on Mariel’s doorstep ringing the doorbell. The brunette only took a few moments to answer, swinging the door open and squealing at the site of her long time friend and throwing her arms around her. 

“Bitch, I can’t believe you moved back to LA and didn’t tell me!”

“Oh my god I’ve been back for like, a week. It literally just happened and I haven’t even been back to work yet. Mars, it’s so good to see you.” She really had missed her friend, it was just so crazy with everything that happened in her life lately that it was hard to have much of an extra social life. Plus, she was a little obsessed with spending all of her time with Blake at the moment, so the rest of the world would have to largely wait.

“Look at Bubba! Ohmygod!” Mariel exclaimed, turning her attention to Apollo who was resting in Blake’s arms. Apollo giggled and bounced, smiling through his pacifier as he realized it was Mariel. He leaned out of Blake’s arms and jumped into Mariel’s, his little hand touching her forehead in excitement. “Gwen, seriously, oh my god, he has gotten so big.”

“Don’t remind me. It breaks my heart,” she said with a sigh. Blake’s arm went around her and she smiled up to him as Mariel spent a few minutes hugging on Apollo. “Mariel, this is Blake, my really hot country boyfriend that needs a little help.” Blake rolled his eyes for dramatic effect, then grinned down at Gwen. It wasn’t as if he didn’t think he needed help in the fashion department, even though he insists jeans and flannel were a fine uniform. 

“Hi Blake!” Mariel said with a grin. “Don’t worry, I’ve got a lot in the studio downstairs and Gwen caught me on the phone when I was still in Saks and I was able to pick up some more choices specifically in your size. We’ll find you something you won’t totally hate.”

“But I might hate it a little?” he asked.

Mariel giggled. “Quite possible. It’s not flannel and jeans I’ve got for you.”

Gwen reached up and pecked him on the cheek with a smile, tugging him into Mariel’s home as they headed down to the basement. Mariel’s basement was converted into a huge personal styling studio, racks lining the walls and giant mirrors like a dance studio all along the back wall. Mariel set Apollo on the ground and tugged a small toy bin out of the closet that she kept for clients kids, knowing he would take immediately to the toy cars and be entertained while they dressed Blake. 

“Okay cowboy, shirt off,” Gwen said.

“Wait, what? Already?”

Gwen giggled. “Yes, oh my god, come on, Mariel’s a professional, she’s seen a shirtless man or two before.”

"Or four hundred...five hundred..." Mariel mumbled.

Mariel grabbed a large garment bag full of shirts and began laying them out across the couch, looking between them, and back to Blake. She plucked a red one up and handed it to Gwen, but she scrunched her nose and shook her head as she handed it back. Mariel handed her a black one and Gwen reached up to put it over his shoulders, Blake’s arms sliding into the sleeves just before Gwen went to button it up. She stepped back and let him walk closer to the mirror. Not daring to make an opinion, he just looked to Gwen for approval.

“This one is alright, it’s a maybe. It’s still a little baggy at the bottom,” she observed. 

“Gwen, this shirt is tighter than all the other ones I own. I’m not one of those rockstars that has hard cut abs and wears skin tight shirts…”

“Blake, baby,” her hands smoothed onto his sides and held onto them as she caught his eye. “You have a great body, and you need a shirt that actually fits you.” She sighed. “You can go back to tents when you’re on tour, I love you no matter what you wear, but you wear your shirts flared out right here…” she tugged at his sides a little, “and if you only sized down it would look so much more clean cut. And if you’re going to be winning all of these awards and performing, I think you need to suffer for just one night so you can look like the king you are.”

“You two are kind of nauseating, you know that?”

“Shut up,” Gwen giggled, looking over at her friend who stuck her tongue out at her.

Gwen patted his chest. “Take this off, we’ve got more to try.”

They went through about six other shirts after the black one, but Gwen and Mariel weren’t both agreeing on one. The seventh one slid onto his body and Gwen buttoned it up, took a step back, and her eyes widened. She reached over and tapped Mariel on the shoulder and she looked to. Meanwhile, Blake stood there, for once understanding how a store mannequin must feel.

“That’s it. It’s so perfect. It literally fits everywhere,” Gwen said, a smile coming to her face.

“If I sit down I’m going to pop these buttons, it’s so tight,” Blake said.

“You’re just not used to it,” Mariel chimed in.

“Baby, look at yourself,” Gwen said, coming behind him and scooting him up towards the mirror. She stayed standing behind him, her head popping out to the side as she watched him look. Mariel came up and handed him the pants picked out to go with it.

“Put the pants on with it and I promise it will look so much better,” she said. 

Blake walked to one of the curtains and dipped behind it, ditching his jeans and boots in favor of the black pants Mariel handed him. He walked out and over to the mirror again. Gwen had a belt in her hand and took the loops on the pants and weaved it through and around him, buckling it in the front. A huge grin was on her face and she could hardly contain herself. She wanted to jump him right then and there. 

“I mean I guess it’s ok…” he said, awkwardly shrugging. “I just think it’s too tight.”

“Do you trust me Blake?” Gwen asked softly. “Because if you trust me…I mean, come on. I’m a designer, and I know what I’m doing.”

“Gwen, I have a McQueen in your size that would literally kill paired with that shirt.”

“Oh, no, Mars, that’s okay.”

“Wait a second, why am I the only one getting new clothes?”

“Blake, this night is about you. I don’t need a new dress, I’ve got some in my closet I can wear to this. I think. I’ll figure it out. What I’m wearing is literally not important.”

“Mariel, can you go get the queen dress thing for her, please?” Gwen laughed as he butchered the designer name. Mariel nodded, and Gwen’s gaze turned back up to Blake.

“Blake, you’re not buying me a $3000.00 dress.”

“I might be. Go put it on. Right now.”

She gave him a look as Mariel draped the dress over Gwen’s arm. He knew she couldn’t resist designer dresses. She slipped behind the curtain and tugged her clothes off, pulling herself into the dress and zipping it part way up her back as far as she could go. Blake’s eyes widened when she stepped out of the makeshift dressing room, taking her in. The dress was short and hugged her in all the right places, and for a brief moment, he thought maybe this was a bad idea considering he would just be thinking about fucking her in it all night. 

“Holy shit,” Mariel said. She moved up behind Gwen and took the zipper between her fingers, pulling it the rest of the way up her back. It tightened at the waist even more and pushed her boobs up, and Blake thought he was going to fall over. 

“If we’re not buying that dress for this event, we’re buying this dress just so I can take it off of you in the bedroom…” Blake mumbled, as Gwen came up to stand next to him. Gwen rolled her eyes and playfully slapped his ass before chuckling, looking back to the mirror and taking in both outfits together. 

“That’s it, we don’t need to try anything else on,” Mariel said definitively. She crossed the room and picked up a necklace, coming behind Gwen and draping it on her neck, securing it, and stepping back. “There you go. Now you’re accessorized.” 

Blake stepped away back to the dressing room and mindlessly pulled his credit card from his wallet, handing it to Mariel before Gwen could even protest. He walked back over, his eyes not leaving her body. 

“Babe, you really didn’t need to buy this for me. This is supposed to be about you.”

“I saw your eyes light up when you saw yourself in this dress. Don’t pretend to not like it.”

“Blake, I love it, it’s just…”

“…it’s just a done deal,” he interrupted, kissing her. “See? I can be stubborn, too.”

“Invalid point, you’ve been stubborn this whole time,” she giggled. 

“Yes, but I gave in. Now it’s your turn to do the same.”

——

The next afternoon was chaotic, but it was such a thrill at the same time.

Gwen had neatly laid out all of their clothes and accessories on the bed, Taylor was downstairs chasing Apollo because he didn’t want to get in the bathtub, Blake was cleaning up the kitchen from cooking everyone lunch, and Gwen was freshly showered and in the master bath, straightening her hair as she listened and hummed along to Blake’s album softly playing on her phone on the vanity. She was just in her underwear and a strapless bra as she took section by section of her hair to pull through the iron, her hips occasionally swaying to the country beat.

Blake quietly came to the doorframe and saw what was happening, a huge grin on his face as he kept still, intent on watching her as long as she was going to be so damn cute like this. After a few minutes he shifted and she caught his movement out of the corner of her eye and her eyes went wide, slightly embarrassed as she tapped her phone to pause the music.

“Well, that was embarrassing,” she said with an awkward laugh, her eyes cast down from him before she looked at herself in the mirror, pulling another strand through the iron. 

“You dancing in your underwear to one of my songs while you curl your hair?” he chuckled. “No, that’s adorable. And I’m gettin’ that feeling again where my hands just have to touch you…” he added, taking the few steps to stand behind her, his hands lightly resting on her stomach.

“This curling iron is over 400 degrees right now.”

“Love hurts, babe.”

“You’re so cheesy!”

They both chuckled and he moved his hands away. She wanted to protest, she already missed him touching her, but she didn’t want to burn anyone with an iron, either. Blake slipped his clothes off and reached into the shower, turning it on and climbing inside. He let the water hit his face directly as he sighed contently. Gwen soon finished her hair and put a few more finishing touches on her make up, moving out of the master bath and back to the bedroom. Before they knew it, Blake came to join her and they both slipped their clothes on for the event, Blake slowly pulling the zipper up Gwen’s back to complete the dress. 

The doorbell rang, and Gwen glanced out the window and saw that the limo had arrived to pick them up. She took her cowboy’s hand and walked downstairs, giving Apollo tons of kisses as they went out the door and climbed into the back seat. 

“Red carpet or side door?” the driver asked Blake, and he looked to Gwen.

“Uhm…” he seemed to be at a loss for words, almost terrified to make the wrong decision. He knew Gwen didn’t like the cameras, but this was an event and it was different and if he said ‘side door’, maybe she’d think he didn’t want to be seen with her publicly and that would upset her, or maybe…

His thoughts halted as she reached over and squeezed his hand, showing her support. “This is your night, Blake. I want you to decide.”

“I mean, do you want to? I…I know you don’t really like the cameras, but I don’t want you to think I don’t love you if we just go in the side door and skip all of that.”

“Blake,” her voice strained. “Baby, I love you so much. And not walking some red carpet does not equate to you not loving me. Give me a little credit.”

“Okay, you’re right, I know, I just…want you to be comfortable tonight.”

“I will be. You’re just not allowed to leave my side unless you’re performing. Okay?”

He leaned forward and kissed her, his hand resting on her waist. He gently stroked her hair and turned the attention to the driver. 

“Side door. I hate those carpet things anyways.” 

Gwen giggled. “Could have fooled me. You’re so good with the reporters.”

“I just remember that reporters are people just trying to support their families. If you give them a few pictures and a few words, they typically scurry off, no harm. Red carpets are different though, you have to stand in front of backdrops forever as ten thousand cameras flash at you, and then you’re ushered down a line of interviewers, and everyone is screaming your name and its just…chaotic. People askin’ you about who you’re wearing, what your must have lip balm of the season is, a bunch of random crap like that.”

“Well that’s an important question, Blake, what _is_ your favorite lip balm of the season?”

“This one right here,” he said, leaning forward and nipping at her bottom lip with his teeth. “Yep, that’s never going out of style.” Gwen was doubled over in laughter as she pressed her lips to his, giving him even more of a taste. Her hand rested on his leg and she rubbed it gently, leaning against him. 

“I’ll take you on a red carpet one of these days,” he promised. “For now I don’t want it to overwhelm you. You’re still getting comfortable with this type of attention, and red carpets are like what those reporters were like in Kentucky, or that time we went to lunch after leaving the set in LA, but on steroids.”

They let the silence fall between them. Blake gently stroked her arm, holding her against him, and she let her eyes close as she concentrated on it. She hadn’t realized how nervous she was until then, but she tried to push it out of her mind. This night was about Blake, and he needed to be put first. She didn’t want to weigh it down with her insecurities. He needed to be celebrated, and that’s exactly what she was planning to do.


	52. PCA 2017

Traffic was definitely not helping her nerves.

Sure, it was LA, she grew up here and she knew that traffic was a way of life. However, delaying the inevitable of going to this event did a number on her. Her gaze looked out the window as she saw four other lanes of traffic next to them stopped just like they were, a restless sigh escaping from her lips. He felt that she was a little tense, but he didn’t want to say anything wrong so he kept his mouth shut, and just continued to hold her. He knew that if Gwen was overwhelming herself or truly too nervous, she would talk to him. He had faith in that. 

“I need a kiss,” she said cutely, her words soft as she looked up to him. Without hesitation or question, he simply smiled and leaned towards her, planting a long, slow kiss on her lips. Her arm stayed around his waist as he continued to hold her.

“You okay?” he dared to ask, kind of breaking his own rule, but at the same time, taking advantage of the open dialogue. 

“Traffic makes me antsy,” Gwen explained. 

“You grew up here, didn’t you? You’re not used to this?”

“Not used to it when I’m going to a famous people party,” she said, making fun of herself as she stuck her tongue up at him and giggled. Blake chuckled, shaking his head, remembering back to the first time she said that to him. It was still just as endearing. “Like will I get to see you a lot of the night? I know you have to be backstage at one point, and you have to keep standing up to accept all of these awards and stuff…I’m just unsure what it’s going to actually be like. And like, uncertainty makes me anxious.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ll have us sitting around the rest of the cast. Pharrell will be there.Adam and Behati…at least you’ve met them before?”

“Yeah, they’re nice people,” she agreed. 

“I won’t leave you alone. I promise you that.”

“I know. But don’t let me hold you back okay? This is your night and you’re being celebrated and if you need to do things, or mingle, you need to.”

He leaned forward and kissed her again. His gaze followed hers and went to look out the window as the silence fell between them. After fifteen minutes or so, the limo was getting traction against the traffic and it began to clear up a bit, Gwen’s stomach jumping into her throat realizing they were on their way again. 

“Here we are, sir,” the driver said, lowering the divide and gesturing to the side door to the theater. There were security guards lining the way, she noticed, as he pulled right up to the door. Blake planted a quick kiss on top of her head and moved to stand up and out of the limo, turning to offer his hand to Gwen, which she took. Her heels hit the floor and she soon balanced on them, her senses hit with the sounds of screams and flashing cameras. She wrinkled her face in confusion as she took a few steps, walking towards where she heard all of the commotion coming from. 

“Holy shit,” were the only words that fell from her mouth, as she got an eyeful of the red carpet as she kept herself concealed. There were hundreds of people, reporters practically pushing one another to get pictures, dozens of interviews happening simultaneously, and other celebrities appeared to be frozen up against the backdrop, posing for what seemed like hours as fifty people screamed their name. Her eyes went wide. She could only imagine how even more intense that would have been considering the public was so intrigued by Blake’s love life and they had worked so hard to keep a lot of their relationship on the down low - that would have been suicide. 

“Nope,” Gwen said finally, shaking her head and taking a step back. Blake chuckled, his hand sliding down into hers and squeezing it. 

“Don’t even think about that, honey,” he said softly, tugging her along a bit. “It’s totally different inside, I promise.”

She nodded and offered him a small smile, squeezing his hand a bit and letting out a breath as she walked forward with him into the theater. She had no idea just how different things were going to be inside, or the drama the night would behold. 

They walked down a long hallway through the back corridors, security placed every twenty five feet or so. Soon, the end of the hallway illuminated more as they stepped into the theater, and Gwen halted at the entrance as she took it all in. The stage was set and it was so impressive to her to be that close to it. The red chairs were beginning to fill up with plenty of people that she definitely recognized, and some others that she didn’t. 

“Oh my god, that’s Ryan Gosling five feet from me,” Gwen whispered to Blake, her mouth wide, as they began to descend down the rows. “Blake, is that Meryl Streep over there?” Blake looked down at her with a funny grin and she felt her cheeks flush red. It wasn’t until he did that that she realized how suddenly, unexpectedly starstruck she was getting. 

“Oh, tonight is going to be fun,” he chuckled, pecking her on the cheek.

“Shut up,” she mumbled. 

“Blake!”

Their attention turned over to Adam’s familiar voice, shouting up from in front of them, about ten rows down. He was waving them down, and they both walked up to the crowd of people around him, including Behati, Pharrell, Alicia Keys, and some others she didn’t quite recognize. That, or her brain was on overdrive and she just couldn’t stumble together to place them. They joined the small crowd forming, Gwen plastering on a smile, suddenly feeling like she was on display, or at least so obviously the new girl. 

“Blake, you made it!” a country accent came from a tall man, and they must have been close because soon they were hugging. “Listen man, I’ve gotta hit you up about some details about Mexico…” Blake was getting tugged away and their hands disconnected, and he immediately looked back to her, concerned about leaving her. Two other country looking singers were next to the one pulling Blake physically out of her hand, and it seemed to be important. As much as she longed for him to stay with her, everyone was already all over him, and she had to accept that. 

She felt someone hook an arm around Gwen’s. Her attention pulled as she realized it was Behati, with a big grin on her face. Behati looked to Blake. “I’ve got her, you go on.” 

Blake glanced to Gwen for approval, she forced a smile and nodded, agreeing with her. That was enough for Blake to feel content with stepping away, and even though the first country singer grabbed him first, a crowd was building around him. It was then she realized she would be hard pressed being alone with him that evening, which was fine, she just wished she didn’t feel so out of place in his world.

“You okay, babe?” Behati asked, her arm still securely wrapped around Gwen’s. 

“I’ll be fine,” she said eventually, but more to just convince herself. 

“I was you, not too long ago, Gwen,” Behati explained. “This is hard being in this world, I won’t lie about that. But Blake’s a good guy and he’s totally worth it, and totally obsessed with you.” She giggled a little to lighten the mood.

“You’re a famous model, haven’t you always been used to this attention?”

“Not really. Red carpets and award shows are an entirely different beast…fashion is a lot calmer. And it scared me at first. But I promise it gets easier.”

Gwen gave a grateful smile towards her sudden guardian angel before her eyes went back to Blake. “Look at him. I mean, I know he’s crazy talented, but so many people are already crowding around him tonight.” She paused. “I’m really happy he’s getting the attention he deserves,” she added lightly. 

“You made that happen, I know it. That light came back to his eyes when he met you.”

“No, he would have gotten over things eventually. Found his music again. I can’t take credit for that.”

“Gwen, he lived with me for months. I know him pretty well, and that?” she nodded towards Blake, “That man didn’t exist last summer. And now his entire life is Gwen this, Apollo that, and he’s never been happier.” She felt the compliments hit her, but she was always so horrible at accepting them, she didn’t know how. She felt her cheeks redden a bit as her eyes went back to Blake. His attention caught, their eyes burning into one another for a few long, exaggerated moments. 

“Do you ever get over the rest of it? Like, Meryl Streep is literally twelve rows behind us right now.”

Behati giggled. “Meryl’s the best! I still get starstruck, especially around legends like her. Besides, she’s the star of one of my favorite movies ever…”

“Devil Wears Prada!” they both exclaimed at the same time, followed by a small fit of giggles over their newly found interest. 

“All those fashion people are the same. Exact clones of her character Miranda Priestly. I work for like, ten Mirandas,” Gwen shook her head. 

“And I get critiqued by all the Mirandas. Our men wouldn’t last a day in our jobs, they just have it so easy, get on the stage, sway a hip and sing into a microphone. Ridiculous.”

Gwen laughed, and she felt herself start to relax a bit as she carried on a conversation that bordered on small talk, but also felt a little deeper. She felt like she was talking to Lizzy again, and damn it, she missed her. She felt so grateful that she seemed to find someone in this world to relate to when all she felt like was an outsider. She almost forgot Blake had been gone, but not before she felt his very familiar hands move over her hips and rest on her stomach, his cheek leaning into the side of her head.

“Hi baby,” she said with a soft smile.

“I swear, I’m yours again,” he said. “Behati’s the type to get you drunk, naked, and dancing, so I couldn’t leave you alone for too long.” Gwen’s eyebrow raised as Behati started laughing.

“Hey now, my drunk, naked, dancing parties are the best, and you know it!” she protested. 

Gwen giggled and nudged her ass into him a bit. “I’m going to have to take her up on that sometime and leave you home.”

Blake’s jaw dropped as he feigned shock. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t even invite me to that.”

“Sorry babe, it’s more fun to think of you home alone imagining what we’re up to.”

The ushers came by soon after the theater seemed a lot fuller and began to direct people to their seats. Blake took Gwen’s hand and tugged her along, Adam and Behati right in front of them, Pharrell and his wife behind them. She sat next to Behati and Blake, feeling thankful that she was finally a bit more settled. Instead of sitting down, Blake leaned forward and pecked her on the cheek, their eyes meeting.

“They need me backstage for a few things before I perform,” he said. “I promise I’ll come back out as soon as I can, okay?”

“Okay. Go be a king,” she said, taking him in for a real kiss before letting go. Behati squeezed her arm reassuringly and the lights dimmed. Someone hurried over and squeezed past Pharrell and started to take the seat beside her, and she opened her mouth to protest but she felt someone tap her from behind, Her attention drew over to Adam, sat on the opposite side of Behati.

“He’s just a filler. He’ll switch out with Blake when he comes back,” he explained lowly. Gwen thought that was kind of funny, but she mouthed a ‘thanks’ to him, suddenly reminded she was still somewhat out of place. But that was okay. Nothing horrible had happened yet, and everyone was in love with Blake, and that was honestly the best case scenario. 

The announcer came up and began their monologue and soon the crowd was erupting in laughter. She felt her phone buzz, and even though she knew she wasn’t supposed to pull it out, she discreetly set it on her chair and saw that a text message came in from Blake.

_Even from backstage, I still have an uncontrollable desire to fuck you out of that dress right now. -B_

_You’re so bad! Pay attention to your guitar or something… Gx_

_My pants are tight. -B_

_Your pants are not tight. Your pants actually FIT. Gx_

_Wrong kind of tight, babe. -B_

_Do I need to come back there and make you concentrate? Gx_

She was beaming down at her phone, red cheeks, as she pretended to concentrate on whatever was happening on stage, but he was already effecting her and she was so mad at him for that. She was already in the mood to get his clothes off, and the night had barely begun. 

_Don’t do that. Because I would fuck you out of that dress in this closet I just found. -B_

A second later, and a picture came through from Blake of a literal closet backstage. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing.

_You can have me however you want later, but you need to stop teasing me right now. I’m wearing couture, the lining is silk, and if my underwear soaks through I’m literally going to kill you. Gx_

_So you’re saying your underwear is soaked right now because of me? -B_

_OH MY GOD STOP Gx_

_Love you, baby. -B_

_Love you, cowboy. Gx_

She let out a soft, almost inaudible giggle, but Behati’s eyes caught on her phone and met Gwen’s eyes when she looked up. “Dirty texting at an awards show? I knew I liked you for a reason,” she whispered. Gwen looked like a deer caught in headlights, before she added, “Secret’s safe with me. That’s hot.” Gwen smiled at her a bit and turned her eyes back to the stage, willing herself to concentrate. 

After a commercial break, a few awards that she clapped for, the name _Blake Shelton_ came over the intercom which immediately grabbed her attention. She forced herself to compose herself, when all she really wanted to do was grin like an idiot. God, she loved when he performed. It felt like forever since she had seen him live. She definitely preferred the intimacy of him and his guitar with her alone on the couch, serenading just her and Apollo, but events like this were still spectacular to her. The guitar chords struck to signal the beginning of the song, and he came out on the microphone.

“This is a song from my latest album, but it didn’t quite have a lot of meaning to me until the last few months or so,” Blake explained. Gwen grabbed Behati’s hand and she squeezed it as to not let her body explode. She heard Behati squeal a bit, obviously excited for Gwen as Blake launched into the first verse of _A Guy With A Girl_. 

_I’m just the guy with the girl everybody wants to know_  
_Wishin’ you were there alone_  
_Wonderin’ how I ever got your little hand in mine_  
_Lookin’ over at ya like ‘ain’t she beautiful’?_

Gwen’s heart jumped into her throat as Blake pointed directly from her on the stage. Her hand came over her mouth and she squeezed Behati’s hand tighter. She knew there were probably cameras on her but she didn’t care, and she couldn’t bring herself to care to try and contain the love she felt in her eyes for that man and in that moment. 

_You’re right beside me, oh and I see the same thing they’re seein’_  
_But I don’t mind being the guy with the girl, no_

The verse finished and he went off on a little guitar solo, and Gwen was pretty sure she had forgotten to breathe. Her eyes were wide and staring at him, watching his every move as the world melted away. That seemed impossible, being surrounded in this room with so many people, but it happened. She was locked on him exclusively as he played the rest of the song, garnering a standing ovation from the crowd only a second after she rose to stand on her own feet, the goofiest, happiest grin plastered on her face. She was frozen like this, until she felt Behati nudge her to bring her back to life, and she started clapping along with the rest of them. The crowd gradually died down as she watched her king work that stage, and the announcer came back over the microphone.

“I think now is a good time to announce that Blake Shelton is the People’s Choice 2017 Favorite Male Country Artist!”

Gwen squealed and jumped, then had a look of shock on her face as she looked to Behati. “Did he just win?!” she asked. She was so on cloud nine at that moment that her ears could have deceived her.

“Uh huh! He did!”

She had to catch her breath and force her happy tears back down her tear ducts. Blake was beaming on stage, taking a few bows bashfully as the world stopped to worship him. It hit her that she couldn’t believe that he was going to miss all of this if that reporter hadn’t said anything in front of her. He stepped off the stage and out of view, and all Gwen could do was take a seat in the chair, her mind reeling over everything that just happened. 

He must have come out from backstage at lightning speed, because soon the filler stood up to move out of the row and she felt his familiar hand on her shoulder. Her head whipped around and she grinned, jumping up and throwing her arms around him. She clung to him tightly, hearing a few distinct _awww_ sounds coming from behind her. Her mouth hovered next to his ear. 

“I’m so incredibly proud of you, baby, you have no idea. Like I’m about to cry.”

He pulled back a bit and smiled at her, pressing his lips to hers softly. Blake reached down and took a seat and tugged Gwen into his lap, his hand stroking her hair, but being careful not to mess up the curls on the ends. It was a lot more public than the two of them had been up to that point, but he literally didn’t care. He needed her on him like that and in that moment. He needed that contact with her, he was desperate for it. Performing gave him a high, but he had literally been shaking before going out on stage because performing when Gwen was around was different. He felt nerves that normally weren’t there. She made him want to be flawless for her. 

“Did I embarrass you? I was scared that I might and…”

“No Blake. I mean, you nearly killed me, but you didn’t embarrass me,” she chuckled. “I’ve never felt more loved.”

He quickly pecked her lips again, finding it nearly impossible to keep himself from pushing further, pushing tongues together, because the ushers were signaling the return of the live show and he gently patted Gwen on his lap to sit back in her seat. She pouted, obliging, but taking his hand hostage instead. She wasn’t letting him get away that easily. 

The show continued, and she was largely living off of the high of everything that had happened that night. She had gotten so overwhelmed and excited it almost exhausted her, and she was content just sitting with Blake, holding his hand, watching the rest of the awards and performances. There was some category that came up for best country single of the year, and hearing Miranda Lambert’s name announced as a nominee caused Gwen to shudder, her hand tightening on Blake’s, reminding him that she was there with him when she literally couldn’t do anything else to show him love as they were being watched like a couple of fish in a fish bowl. Of course, the witch was announced as winning the category and Gwen couldn’t even stop it if she had tried, she rolled her eyes dramatically before squeezing his hand again, half-heartedly clapping even though it was physically painful.

She knew in the back of her head he was nominated for Album of the Year, which even a common person that didn’t know much about these things could tell it was a big deal as it crossed all the genres and was really the ultimate bragging right. That fact alone helped her refocus off of his horrible ex winning an award. There were no politics, no country music dingbats freezing him out over his psychotic ex wife, just pure voting by the people and what they liked. She was officially convinced Miranda’s award was a fluke, now that she thought about it. She felt the show was beginning to wrap up, but not until they started building the suspense on stage surrounding this huge award of the night. 

The announcer began announcing the nominees up against him, and her heart stopped and her chest tightened. He was up against mega stars like Beyonce, for crying out loud, and oh my god what if he didn’t win? He wouldn’t tell her, but she knew he would be disappointed, and then she’d feel like an idiot for making him come to this thing, but he got to perform and oh my god, why did she have to meddle with everything? She forced new clothes on him and now this and oh my god she was going to throw up or work herself into a panic just before….

“…BLAKE SHELTON, IF I’M HONEST!!”

She felt her body shake in a stun as she heard the words come out of the two hostesses mouths, definitely sure that was actually the SECOND time they said his name and album, and now that the entire room was clapping and staring at him that had to be real, right?

The grin and excitement that lit up Blake’s face was reminiscent of a little boy on Christmas morning as he practically stumbled to his feet, a look of complete shell shock as Gwen stood up with him. She couldn’t breathe, or react, she was so overwhelmed as his arms came around her into a tight hug, holding it for what seemed like an eternity. 

“Go,” she managed, as he seemed to forget that he had to actually go on the stage to get the award.

A few moments later he was in front of the microphone. Her eyes were filled with tears and her face a huge smile as she watched him intently. 

“Wow I uh…I literally do not know what to say right now,” he managed, letting out a breath. 

“Come on baby,” Gwen mumbled to herself, willing him to keep going. 

“This is overwhelming, I literally have the best fans in the entire world and wow, I’m starting to sound more like my girlfriend every day with all of these ‘literally’s I’m throwin’ out at ya'll,” he said with a chuckle, as she felt eyes fall onto her but she couldn’t tear hers off of him. “Speakin’ of my girlfriend, Gwen, thank you baby for gettin’ me here tonight, in more ways than one. Thank you for making me wear this shirt so I don’t look like a country fool up here on this fancy stage and…it’s been a rough couple of years and at one point I hit rock bottom…just thank you for bringin’ me back.”

“You always bring me back,” she let out a breath, wiped a tear as it escaped her eye, and held onto those words. _Their_ words. The words they shared with one another time and time again when they got through something emotional or hard. _Thank you for bringing me back._

“Thank you,” Blake said with a wave, another eruption of applause came and soon he exited again. She had to take a few breaths in to compose herself, and Behati moved forward to pull her into a tight hug. Gwen laughed as she cried, hugging her new friend back. 

“I’m a huge pile of mush,” she said finally, with a chuckle. The cameras seemed to go off as the show ended, and everyone started talking and chatting amongst themselves. It was overwhelming as they had all been so quiet almost moments before. She saw Blake coming up from the front of the venue and she almost jumped out of her skin in excitement. He took a few jogging steps up to her and his arms went around her, lifting her up and twirling her slightly in the air. She laughed as she held his shoulders and he stilled, keeping her there.

“Oh my god cowboy, you really are a king now! And I’ve started crying, but this time it’s totally your fault.”

“Those are tears I don’t mind being responsible for,” he said, setting her down gently. 

“Congrats Blake!”

“Yeah man, show ‘em what country’s like!”

Gwen giggled as the people around started shouting out random accolades for his award, and she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. 

“All this attention is so crazy,” he said. “I mean, I’ve never exactly been the most popular guy in the room but damn. Wait. Did I really beat Beyonce?!”

“Yes, you did,” she was giggling again. “But I literally don’t know who else you beat because I was about to throw up. So don’t ask. Just google it later.” She remembered his speech from earlier, and knew she had unfinished words with him. “You always bring me back cowboy. You literally saved my life.”

He leaned forward and kissed her in that moment, the perfect ending to the show, the chaotic noises drowning out around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not done with this quite yet. Stay tuned for the after party ;-)


	53. After Party

Like a couple of teenagers, they snuck out the back door again and practically jogged towards their limo once they spotted it. Gwen slid across the seat after Blake opened the door for her instead of letting the driver do it, and soon he followed right behind her. He informed the driver that they were headed to the off site after party, knowing it would be the largest crowd and collection of celebrities celebrating that night, before thanking him and locking up the privacy divide.

It was less than five seconds after it closed that Gwen’s leg slid across his lap, her arms coming around his neck as she settled on him, straddling his lap. She giggled a little as she moved forward, taking his lips with hers, discreetly sliding her tongue inside of his mouth. His hands gripped tightly on her hips as he moaned, taking her in. He missed that taste. He had held himself back for far too long that night, and with the impending after party they were headed to, he needed to take as much as he could get. 

“What happened to you tonight, Blake? Why are you so happy right now?” Another deep kiss. 

“Mmm…I’ve got this really hot blonde on my lap. It’s hard not to be happy, darlin’...” Another kiss. 

“Is that all you’re happy about?” She inquired cutely, before going in for another.

“Well, I won some awards and stuff…but that’s not nearly exciting as right now.”

She giggled. “What did you win, baby? Tell me.” 

“Favorite male country artist…” he kissed her, “….and album of the year…” His hands tightened and wandered up her dress, all over her body, taking in every inch of her. His hands moved down and slid under her dress, resting against her bare thighs. He gripped them before sliding them down to her ass, gripping that with both hands next as he forced her closer to him. His mouth moved to the side, brushed lightly over her cheek and hovered right in front of her ear. “But I am _your_ favorite male country artist, Gwen?”

“Mmm…” she pondered, the vibrations from her voice hitting his chest like electricity. “I’m not sure, Blake. I’ve only screwed one male country artist in my life. I might need to try a few more in bed before I make a commitment to a statement like that.” God, she loved fucking with him. 

Blake grunted in frustration, wasting no time to let one of his hands travel off of her ass, coming in abruptly between her legs. His fingers pushed her underwear aside as he swiped the length of her center with them, teasing her. The gasp that escaped her lips hit the skin on his neck as she bucked up slightly at the contact, and he slowly continued teasing her there. 

“I’m pretty sure they couldn’t get you to scream half as loud as I had you screaming the other night,” his voice was dominant. Possessive. “Pretty sure they can’t soak your underwear like this, either."

Gwen bit her lip, her eyes dark as her hands fell to his hips. “Do we have enough time to…” she whispered, tugging at his belt.

Blake’s gaze went out the window briefly, his eyes darkening as he looked back to her. They locked eyes for a moment, smiles on their faces as they both had the same idea. Skillfully, Gwen unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and tugged down at them. She pushed to sit up on her knees, allowing him to move up a bit to move his pants down. She reached down and into his boxers, taking his length delicately into her hand, stroking lightly as she felt how hard he was already for her. He was already groaning and moaning with every touch, every shift, his hands tightening on her waist as his head snapped back. Gwen hiked her dress up, not even bothering to take her underwear off as she simply pushed it aside before slowly easing him into her, sitting down on top of him as he went in deeper. She held one hand on his shoulder and gripped tightly as she adjusted. Once he was all the way in and she felt okay, she rocked her hips at him and went in for an intense, deep kiss, as she began riding him. 

It must have been all of the pent up tension of the night, being separated from one another, coupled with all of the excitement that he barely lasted that long. It was fast, quick, and intense, and it wasn’t soon before long that Gwen thrust on top of him so hard that he fell apart underneath her. Gwen’s hands went to his curls as she tugged lightly, riding him through his orgasm, intensifying his pleasure with purpose. She felt him slump back in the seat, coming down from his high, and she settled down in his lap and leaned against him, planting small, thoughtful kisses on his lips and jawline. He let out a large exhale against her skin and his hands tightened, holding her.

“Jesus Christ, Gwen,” was all he could say. She let out a faint laugh, taking his lips in hers, wiggling her hips a little with him still inside of her. Blake groaned at the tease and let out a gasp.

“I think I need to clean you up a little for this party,” she murmured, reaching down between them to slowly pull him out of her as she pushed up onto her knees. She held him as she lowered herself to the ground of the limo, guiding him and taking him into her mouth as she let her hands fall to the side momentarily. Blake’s entire body stiffened as he tried searching for something, anything to hold onto as she ran her tongue down the length of him entirely.

“Gwen, _Gwen_ , holy fucking shit,” he practically growled, his own hips bucking up as he could hardly handle the tease so close to his first orgasm. She hadn’t let him come down enough from it and she had him right back on the edge again. She knew this, let her eyes look up to him as she smiled through her sucking, keeping them locked on him as she went to work.

His breathing was heavy, erratic, and he was moaning and gasping as her tongue changed course, changed pattern, and her hands moved back in to help. She caught him again as she intensified her movements, pushing him over the edge for a second time, so intense he almost jumped out of the seat. She pushed him back into her throat deeper, letting him come inside of her mouth, swallowing all of the evidence.

“Okay, okay, okay,” he almost panicked as she licked him again, the feeling too intense, he was beyond sensitive and needed a break. She slowly let him move out of her mouth and she moved up to sit next to him again, but not before placing a quick, light kiss on the tip. Her arms went around him and tugged him towards her a bit, letting his head rest against her as he caught his breath. Once he regained his senses, her lips were on his, his taste on her, and she kissed him deeply. 

“Mmm…that’s my favorite taste, baby,” she whispered. He groaned as he gripped her again, not able to keep his hands off of her for a second. She caught sight of his disheveled curls, giggling a bit as she reached up to fix them a bit. Blake managed to pull his boxers and pants up to his hips, before Gwen’s hands moved down to take over zipping and buckling him back up. When she finished, she leaned against him and let him hold her, her arms going around his waist. She loved when they were like this, two people together that could just be themselves, and act like two horny teenagers in the back of a car. 

Gwen was careful not to _excite_ him again for the rest of the car ride, and about ten minutes later the driver pulled up to the venue where the after party was being held at. They walked hand in hand into the venue, siding up to the bar immediately as they both took in their surroundings. For how fast they were out the door after the show, there sure were a lot of celebrities that beat them there, that much was obvious. Gwen started feeling that starstruck feeling again as she looked around and saw a sea of people she had only ever seen plastered on magazines and TV. She couldn’t believe that this was her life now. 

She brought the Cosmopolitan-like drink to her lips and took a sip, knowing that alcohol would probably loosen her up a bit, make her feel less stressed or tense or…whatever, out of place? She always felt at home with Blake but this night had been different. This night had reminded her just how much adjusting she still had to do to Blake’s world. 

More people began arriving, a lot of which came over to give her man well-deserved congratulations on his award. Blake showed her off and introduced her to all of his country friends, she was going to forget all of their names by morning, she was sure. She hadn’t realized how fast she took her drink back as she stared down at her empty glass, shocked that it was gone. She tugged at Blake as he was half-heartedly talking to one of those country friends of his. 

“Blake, I’m going to get another drink,” she said.

“I’ll come with you,” he said.

She was about to protest, about to tell him it was okay and he should stay with his friends, but a second later his arm came around her and he guided them back to the bar. Gwen always loved how he did things like that. They were little gestures, but it made her feel like the most important thing in his world.

She ordered another drink and Blake took the rest of his back, asking for another for himself. He looked over at her while they were waiting. “Are you having fun?” he asked her. “Because if you’re not, I mean, we can leave. I’d be ok with that.”

“Honey, I’m fine. I like meeting all of your friends. I might forget all of their names but this is your night, and I’m just fine. All I need is to be with you and I’m perfectly content.” She reached for his hand and squeezed it, pushing up on her toes to offer him a quick kiss on his lips with a smile.

“Gwen! Blake!”

That was the one voice Gwen recognized immediately, as her eyes fell on Behati dragging Adam through the crowds to get over to them.

“That looks amazing, what is that?” Behati asked, gesturing down to Gwen’s drink.

She laughed. “I have no idea, but here, try it,” she said, offering it to her as the bartender placed it in her hand. 

Behati grinned, sipped, and grinned even wider. “Yes! I need that, please!” The bartender nodded and scurried off to make another as Behati handed it back to Gwen. “That’s the only great thing about these parties, the drinks are usually fabulous, not to mention free.”

“Did that inspire your famous drunk and naked dancing parties?” Gwen asked. 

Behati started laughing. “Vogue after party, 2013. We had to pay impossible sums of money to track down all of _those_ pictures.” Gwen stared laughing hysterically, knowing that she wasn’t kidding.

Adam glared jokingly at his wife. “Mmhhmm. Now she’s strictly restricted to having those _at home_. And that’s why.”

“Aw babe, it wasn’t that bad! It was just a little unintentional nip slip!” 

The four of them started laughing, and Gwen was finally feeling at ease again. Behati just had that effect on her, and she was so grateful the model had taken pity on her that evening. 

Blake and Adam got off into a side conversation as others started to crowd around, and she felt people with cameras suddenly began to roam around the party, asking random people to pose for pictures for E! Online and various other media outlets. She noted the difference that they were much more low key here, they weren’t crowding as they politely asked people for pictures and then largely left them alone. If only that was what it could be like in real life, outside of the umbrella of awards shows and after parties. 

She felt herself getting that feeling again, that feeling that Blake was being sought after as he fell into so many different conversations, had so many people coming up to him, and she stayed by his side but largely stepped back. It warmed her heart to watch him like this, and so many people were so happy for him. It made her giggle as he so obviously didn’t know how to take a compliment, nor this level of attention, as he stumbled over a few words here and there, and strangely that just made her want to kiss him all the more. He was so humble, it was almost unreal. She knew he was the most down to earth guy on the planet, but he really didn’t give himself credit enough for being the amazing human that he is. 

Gwen tugged Adam, who had ended up standing next to her, as she didn’t want to interrupt Blake’s conversation. “I’m going to the restroom, just let him know if he starts looking for me?” 

Adam nodded. “You okay?” He didn’t know Gwen too well yet, but he knew his wife got overwhelmed at these kinds of things in the beginning.

“Yeah, yeah, all good. Thanks Adam.” She offered a small smile as she stepped away to the back of the venue, towards the restrooms.

She quickly found the door marked _Powder Room_ and slipped inside. The loud noises from the party gradually faded away as the door closed behind her, leaving her in the silence. Gwen took in the ornate room in front of her - doors with vintage touches that ran from floor to ceiling, marble sinks, ornate, vintage lights, and small hand towels kept to the side. She let out a breath, finally feeling able to breathe as she walked to the furthest door, closing and locking it behind her. It was the largest, with a small ornate bench in the corner, which she was appreciative for. Gwen took a seat and closed her eyes, escaping the chaos, trying to recenter herself amongst the chaos. She was a mixture of excitement, nerves, and desire, and sometimes she had the predisposition to overwhelm herself with her own emotions. This night had been so crazy, but she wouldn’t have changed it for the world. 

“Gwen, oh my god, I can’t believe you just said that to them!”

The door to the main restroom swung open, which startled her, but also hearing her name made her stomach jump as her gaze went to the shut door in the small room she was in. She heard two women laughing, probably a bit tipsy from the free flowing alcohol at the party. She felt frozen in place.

“Miranda, you’re so damn full of it, you’ve been bitching about her all night.”

Miranda?

Then it made sense. It hit her. The two women she was listening to had southern drawls, and the fact that one was named Miranda set off alarm bells in her head. There was no way, it couldn’t have actually been…what were the chances that…

“I mean god, wouldn’t you?” Miranda asked the other girl. “She’s such a goddamn gold digger, the slut was all over him all night and looked like a damn mess in that dress she wore, if you could even call it a dress. And ugh, his speech made me want to hurl. Blake used to be a man, but he’s turned into such a weakling. It’s sick.”

Gwen closed her eyes as she pursed her lips together, willing herself to stay silent, caught in between a rock and a hard place. She had no choice but to sit there and wait this out, she was stuck. 

“You know they moved in together, right?”

Miranda started cackling. 

“That’s the greatest shit I’ve heard all night.”

“I bet I can top it!” her friend squealed. “I did some digging. Apparently, her son’s dad is like some huge drug addict and went to jail. I bet she doesn’t even know who his real father is, I mean, and she has to be on drugs too, right? Can you imagine how much the press is going to tear them to shreds when I send a few little tips off to them in the morning? Gold digger won’t have a chance with him after that.”

“Oh my god, Gwen Sebastian, you are my hero!” Miranda squealed and laughed. 

The tears were falling down her face as she concentrated on not sniffling, or making any other noise. Her hand was holding her stomach as she started to feel sick and panicked. It felt like an eternity before the two women finally left. She made sure to hear the door close all the way behind them, count to five, before she let a sob escape, catching her breath. 

Gwen let herself get upset, let herself get some of it out before forcing herself to try and keep it together. She looked down to her phone as it buzzed, indicating a text message from Blake asking where she was. She had been gone so long he was probably worried. She took another shaky breath in and exhaled, swiping under her eyes and standing up forcing her concentration on anything else that wasn’t what she had just accidentally witnessed. She swung the door open and caught herself, almost running directly into Blake.

She was a little stunned at first, and she knew her eyes were betraying her as his slightly worried features turned into full on concern as his hands reached out to her shoulders.

“Gwen, baby, what’s wrong?”

She took a breath in, forcing a smile, pushing up on her toes and pecking him quickly on the cheek. It was scary how good she was at suddenly trying to conceal her pain. “I’m just going to step out and get some air…actually, I think I just need to go home. I’m going to call a cab, you take the limo, okay? Hang out with your friends.” She wanted to curse as a tear fell down her cheek from her watered eyes, and she wicked at it almost angrily. Angry that it betrayed her again. 

“You’re not leaving without me,” he said, adamantly. She couldn’t help it anymore, she sniffled back and a sob escaped even though she tried to hold the smile on her face, but it faltered. “Come on. Let’s step outside. And maybe you can tell me why you’re tryin’ to hide from me.” His arm went around her and before she realized what was happening he was leading her out of the venue.

“Blake, please stay, god, I hate that you’re giving this party up right now. It’s nothing, I promise, I’m fine.”

“When did you start lying to me?” his tone wasn’t accusatory, it was concerned. He felt something was really wrong and he was starting to get scared. 

“I’m not, it’s just…” she was at a loss for words and she let the silence fall. The door closed behind them as they stood on the deserted concrete, her bottom lip trembled before she bit it back and forced her eyes shut. “I don’t want to talk here,” she whispered, more afraid that Miranda could walk out any moment and see them together. His hand stroked her hair out of her face, his gaze moving to the parking lot behind them. He spotted their car.

“Come on,” he said, taking her hand and walking the ten or so feet that separated them from it. Blake tapped on the window and told the driver they were just going to sit for a bit, that he’d let him know if they had to go anywhere. Moving to the back of the car he opened the door and Gwen crawled inside, Blake right behind her. The door shut, her features tightened and her body stiffened. He reached over tentatively and let his hand rest on her thigh, the other sliding around her back.

“Baby…let it out,” he encouraged. She was physically bottling something up inside of her and it was so painful for him to watch. His hand gently stroked against her, soothing her, and a sob caught in the back of her throat. That was enough to start her up again, as she softly began crying, wicking away tears from her face as she felt her body tremble. She moved and laid her head down in his lap and curled into a ball, his arms moving down to hold her and stroke her back, trying to comfort her. 

She started to calm a bit, just small sniffles here and there as she held onto him, ultimately feeling calmer with his touch on her. She let out a breath and let herself close her eyes, willing herself to stay that way. Blake took notice when she seemed to be a bit better, and decided to try his luck again. 

“You promised that you’d always be honest with me,” he said softly, as a reminder. 

She hesitated, but then ultimately gave in. 

“I didn’t mean to hear what she said. I didn’t want to hear what she said but…but I was stuck. They didn’t know I was in there when they said such horrible things about Apollo. Such horrible things about you.” She didn’t care as much that they said horrible things about her, too, or maybe she just got used to the jealousy of people calling her a gold digger. 

“What? Who said horrible things about Apollo?”

“She found out about Gavin. That he was arrested for drugs. And…and they said I didn’t know who Apollo’s real dad was, that we were basically white trash and they couldn’t wait to get the tabloids to trash us and…oh my god, this is just so bad.” She sniffled again, and sat up next to him, the tears staining her eyes and cheeks. “Was she always this horrible when you were with her?”

Blake’s face fell as he put two and two together and the realization hit him. All he could do was reach for her, pulling her back against his chest as he hugged and held her tightly. 

“I’m fine, I mean, I’m just tired and I want to go home, but you should stay.”

“You’re not fine,” he countered. “I don’t like these parties anyways. If you’re going home, then that’s where I want to be.”

“But it’s your night.”

“Yes, it is, and right now I want to take my girlfriend home. I want to change into sweats, grab the little one, and cuddle with my family in bed.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“No. That’s honestly what I really want to do.”

Gwen nodded against his chest, before pulling back and up to place a kiss on his lips. 

“Put it out of your mind, baby. I’ll call my lawyer in the morning, we’ll take care of it. And hell, if we can’t, it’s just a storm we need to get through. I’m not going anywhere.” He added the last part because sometimes he really felt like she needed to hear it.


	54. Smoke

She was frozen in place.

Sirens and chaos were blaring around her, but she also felt like she was standing alone. Gwen’s eyes were glued on the front door to their home as she watched two more firemen rush inside, her stomach and chest tight as she was trying to hold herself together in those moments. She had her phone clenched tightly in her hand, feeling the buzz of multiple texts and attempted calls come through, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at them. The moment she had realized the flames took ahold of the kitchen curtains at an alarming pace, she had panicked and ran out of the house. One call to 911. Two texts next - one to Taylor, telling her she needed to keep Apollo out at the aquarium as long as possible and away from the house until Gwen said it was okay, a second to Blake, short and panicked, telling him it was an emergency and he needed to come home. 

The morning was completely forgotten. Falling asleep in his arms the night before with Apollo in hers. Soft kisses and whispered sweet nothings before the little one woke up. Blake whipping up a quick breakfast for the three of them before he jetted off to take care of some things on the set. Gwen looking around at all of the unpacking she had to do, but instead she opted to take herself to the grocery store and attempt to cook Blake a huge, nice meal for when he got home that she had found online. She just wanted to do something nice for him, and it all fell apart. 

Someone in uniform was standing next to her, talking, but she couldn’t hear what they were saying. A tear rolled down her cheek that she couldn’t contain any longer as people kept talking to her, trying to get her to move back, but her body wouldn’t budge. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Blake’s truck coming down the long driveway in a frenzy. She was painfully aware of how fast he parked it adjacent to them across the driveway, then proceeded to close the fifty or so feet between his truck and Gwen with long, frantic strides towards her.

“Gwen, what happened?!”

Worry filled his voice and before he could even get close to her, he was getting cut off by two fireman. He turned his attention to them for a split second, answering them that yes, he was the homeowner, but other questions were going to have to wait and…

His attention went back to where Gwen had stood only moments before, and she was nowhere to be seen. He stuttered, his head whipping around in a frenzy, trying to see where she had gone, but coming up empty. One of the firemen started talking again and he stumbled out his answers, all while keeping his eyes scanning around the chaotic scene that was taking over their driveway. Blake was only catching part of what was being said as his eyes went back to his house, no obvious flames viewable from the outside, just smoke coming up from the back. One of the men mentioned something about a grease fire that had gotten out of control quickly, and while part of the kitchen was completely scorched, the home itself would be fine. 

After thanking them, the firemen seemed to get back to work as he watched them come and go through the front door. He let out a breath as his eyes scanned around completely, turning in a circle and only stopping when he caught a glimpse of a mop of platinum blonde hair. Gwen had stepped away from all of the chaos and was turned away, standing alone, and hiding behind his truck. His feet carried him towards her without thinking about it, and as he got closer, he heard her sobs.

Blake came around the truck slowly, trying not to startle her, but the moment she realized he was closing the distance between them she practically jumped back and moved herself away from him. He couldn’t get near her, but he saw her body shaking as the tears continued. Her hand clenched tightly to the side of the truck bed. 

_She thought she was hallucinating. Or maybe this was real. She thought she saw Gavin, she thought she heard his voice, the voice that was going to yell at her. The voice that was going to tell her what an idiot she was, how useless she was._

“Gwen,” was all he said. It was firm, but concerned. He flinched as just saying her name seemed to set her off again as she began sobbing harder. He was shocked and he was fighting himself because all he wanted to do was force her to let him hold her, but something else was going on. He didn’t know what that was, but he felt helpless as all he could do was keep a distance from her, watching her work herself up into a panic. 

She was getting worse, though. Her sobs started getting more jagged as her body contracted, both of her hands now holding onto the edge of the truck bed.

“I… _Ican’tbreathe_ …” she managed. Gwen was full on hyperventilating now and the second her knees bent and her weight leaned into the truck Blake jumped forward next to her, grabbing her at the waist to hold her up. 

“Can I get some help over here, please?!” he yelled over to the ambulance, ducking down to her height to hold her steady. He glanced back to the driver side door to his truck and pulled her along a few steps, opening the door, scooping down and picking her up to sit in the driver’s seat. Her breaths were shallow and ragged and she couldn’t get ahold of herself. His hands gripped her shoulders, trying to coax her, but it didn’t seem to help. Two medics were by their side a moment later.

“She said she’s having trouble breathing,” Blake said quickly, and obviously terrified. One of the medics moved in front of him, Blake's hands falling from her shoulders as all he could do was watch in horror. The first medic moved to feel her pulse, and looked to the second one.

“Get the oxygen,” he instructed, and the second medic took off jogging back to the ambulance. 

“What’s her name?” the first looked to Blake.

“Gwen…” he mumbled, his hand moving out to the car door as he tried to keep himself standing, forcing himself to try and stay strong for her when all he felt like doing was panicing. 

“Hi Gwen, my name is Andreas. Can you take a deep breath in for me?”

Her body was shaking with nerves and anxiety as she tried to register what the paramedic was saying as she continued to hyperventilate. 

“Come on, you can do it…just one deep breath. Try really hard. It will make you feel better.” 

The second paramedic came back with a portable oxygen tank and came around to the left of Andreas, setting it down on the floorboard of the truck. Andreas reached down and pulled the mask up, holding it out to her. 

“This is oxygen. I’m going to hold it over your mouth to help you breathe,” he explained, before slowly bringing it up to hold it against her. “Try for a deep breath now,” he suggested, and her eyes looked into his for the first time as he demonstrated. She attempted taking a deep breath, it was ragged and broken, but it was a step in the right direction. “Good, good…now Gwen, I need you to take another.”

Blake was watching the entire thing, tears pricking in his eyes as he never stopped fully panicking internally. His hands clenched onto the door frame as he held his own breath, watching Gwen try for a second deep breath.

“Sir, does your wife have panic attacks?” Andreas asked gently, not moving his eyes off of Gwen. 

“I…” the word ‘wife’ almost threw him for a second, but he snapped out of it. “She has anxiety. I..but I’ve never seen it this bad.”

“Is she on medication?”

“She has a prescription for Xanax. She keeps it in her purse, it, it must be in the house. It’s usually hanging from the closet by the door.”

“I’ll go see if I can find it,” the second paramedic chimed in, before leaving the three of them to head towards the house. 

Gwen’s sobs had calmed somewhat and she became cognizant of what was happening. Her hand reached up to take the oxygen mask from Andreas to hold it herself, and he took a step back. Her tear filled eyes only glanced to Blake for a brief moment before he moved to stand up next to her. She let her head lean against his chest as her free arm went around part of his waist to steady herself. Blake kissed the top of her head and he felt his body relax as she touched him.

“Is this it?” the other paramedic returned with Gwen’s red purse, unopened, handing it over to Blake.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it from him. He set it down in Gwen’s lap so he didn’t have to move away from her and dug through it, finding the pill bottle. He opened it and popped one out, closing the bottle and setting her purse on the center console behind her. She placed the mask on her lap as she took it from him, the paramedic handing her a small bottled water to wash it down. 

“Gwen, does anything hurt or burn? Nostrils, throat?” Andreas asked, realizing she was a bit calmer. She shook her head roughly to indicate _no_ , her head leaning back on Blake again. 

“Okay, that’s good, then,” he said. “If you do start to feel pain, I want you to seek medical attention. That could be a sign of smoke damage, okay?”

“I’ll make sure,” Blake answered. Gwen reached down in her lap and picked up the mask again, taking a few breaths of the oxygen, before handing Andreas the mask.

“I’m okay, you can take this,” she whispered hoarsely. Hearing her voice surprised Blake, and he couldn’t help but squeeze her arm, feeling relief flood through him. 

“How about we keep this here for a little while longer,” Blake protested, taking the mask and putting it back in her lap. She didn’t say anything, and just continued to lean against him. 

“I’ll step away for a bit, let her relax,” Andreas said. “Keep the oxygen as long as you need.” And with that, he nodded, and made his way back to the ambulance. 

Silence fell next. Blake’s hand rubbed down her back in soothing strokes, working in conjunction with the pill to calm her down. He felt her body weight lean into him more, and he nudged her a little. 

“Come here,” he whispered against her head, which caused her to sit up straight, unsure of what he was trying to do. He moved behind her and held her hips up a bit and he took a seat on the leather, pulling her to sit in his lap as his arms went around her. Gwen turned in his lap and curled into a ball against him, her cheek and hand against his chest, legs dangling off the side. 

“Blake, I’m so sorr…” her voice cut off trembled, worried, as she drew in a shaky breath. His hand rested against her cheek.

“Shh…” he said, his hand stroking down her back again as her hand clenched to his shirt. “Just relax. Can you do that for me?”

Gwen nodded and a moment later, she allowed her heavy eyelids to close as she exhaled. 

——

She was a little startled when she woke up in her bed. 

Her eyes glanced out the window and she realized it was evening. Her brain was struggling to remember what happened, and it all felt like a bad dream. The dry taste in her mouth was familiar, and her distinct headache gave the truth away - she hadn’t dreamed any of it, it was all very much real. 

She untucked herself out of the duvet cover and sat on the edge of the bed, her hand going to massage her suddenly sore neck. Her eyes glanced down and realized she was wearing one of Blake’s shirts, but she didn’t remember putting it on. She didn’t remember getting into bed, walking to the house. The last thing she remembered was Blake holding her in his truck, his voice soft and soothing against the top of her head as she let herself relax. Anxiety hit her gut next as her hands clenched the edge of the bed tightly, willing herself to let out a breath before standing up. Her feet carried her to the top of the stairs and she descended slowly, not making a noise. 

Gwen rounded the corner and hesitated, seeing Blake laid out on the floor with Apollo in the living room. Apollo had a toy car in each of his hands and was making car noises as he made them drive all over Blake and the ground, and the tall cowboy was taking it like a champ. The TV was on behind them and Apollo froze when his favorite TV show came on, dropping the cars and completely forgetting about Blake, suddenly mesmerized. Blake shook his head and chuckled a bit, ruffling the toddler’s hair before standing up and taking a seat on the couch. Gwen moved a few steps forward and her eyes wandered to the kitchen, and she stopped dead in her tracks, just staring at the damage. It wasn’t structural, but it definitely wasn’t pretty, either. 

“Don’t look at that,” Blake’s voice came gently, which drew her attention over to him. Their eyes locked and he nodded his head, motioning her to come be with him. She tentatively walked over and stood next to the couch for a minute, before sitting next to him. Gwen moved forward and laid her body against him, and Blake moved down and to the side to allow them to lay longways on the couch together. Her body rested completely on top of his and she let out a breath, her ear hovering just over his heartbeat. 

The kid’s TV show played in the background, but they laid there in silence. Blake had so many things he wanted to say, wanted to ask, but he knew she was fragile and he didn’t want to risk saying the wrong thing and making it worse. So he just held her. 

“I accidentally set fire to Gavin’s curtains once,” she admitted, her voice strained. Her hand clenched the fabric of his shirt, almost as if she thought he was going to try and get away. 

_Shit, this has something to do with that asshole._

“We used to have one of those older portable heaters that we kept in the house because I always got cold, but Gavin didn’t, so it wasn’t worth heating the whole house up. We got into a fight that day, and largely didn’t talk to one another. I used to do this thing where I would rearrange furniture and deep clean the house when he stressed me out, and I was downstairs alone while he spent the day elsewhere. Anywhere that wasn’t with me. I moved this piece of furniture and all of these books came tumbling down off of it and caused a huge mess, a chain reaction as other things fell. It was a mess but I was too upset to pick it up right away and so I just sat on the couch and cried. Something had fallen and knocked the heater over and into the curtains and it didn’t shut off, and they caught fire. I screamed for Gavin and I was terrified as the flames shot up and burned the curtains, and it would have spread if Gavin didn’t keep a fire extinguisher in the house. He lost it. He started screaming, yelling, throwing things. He came right up to me and grabbed my shoulders and shook me as I cried, telling me how stupid and worthless I am and how he can’t stand when I cry and that I needed to grow up. He had me so hard in his grip that I had bruises on my shoulder the next day. He told me that he made a huge mistake marrying me, that I always fuck things up and I was screwing his life up too, and I’d probably screw Apollo’s life up for good someday.”

Her eyes shut as she clung tighter to him, tears rolling down her face. Blake was stunned. He was at a loss for words as he sat up, bringing her with him. Gwen stayed in his lap but faced him, his thumb sweeping under her eye. She noticed then that he looked distraught, and she gave him a confused look as she sniffled. 

“You never told me…” he began, but then choked and came to a sudden, unexpected halt. 

“What?”

“Gwen, that’s abuse.”

“No, Blake, no…I…he didn’t hit me.”

“It doesn’t matter if he didn’t hit. Just because someone is angry at you, Gwen, does not give them the right to grab you. It doesn’t give them the right to hurt you and bruise your body.” Blake’s body tensed, and Gwen felt it. She looked at him concerned. “I’m going to put that fucking asshole in his grave.”

“Blake, that isn’t why I told you about this,” she said, almost pleading. She trusted he would make good on that promise if she let him, and that was the last thing she ever wanted to let Blake get tied up in was revenge on her ex. “I told you because I had a huge panic attack today and you deserve to know why. I don’t know why I convinced myself that you were going to be angry with me, but that’s part of anxiety. It’s irrational.”

He leaned forward and his lips brushed hers, and both of them seemed to relax their bodies in that moment. Their lips parted and his forehead leaned against hers, staying within the close proximity. 

“Gwen,” he breathed in a soft voice. “You are safe. Apollo is safe. Those are the two things that matter.” He gave her another soft, but quick kiss. “We have to replace a few cabinets and maybe the stove. Big deal. We can literally take off for the day somewhere while someone fixes all of that. It is not. That. Serious. I promise. Okay?”

Maybe it was the residual effects of the Xanax, or her need to be comfortable, but she let her body slump back against him and gave in. He stroked her hair back as he held her, his blood still boiling under the surface about what she had told him. He was pulled out of his hateful thoughts for her ex when Apollo’s little hand hit Blake’s knee a few times to get his attention, and he grinned as he looked at him.

“Up!”

Gwen’s eyes opened hearing Apollo’s voice and she turned slightly in Blake’s lap, a small smile coming across her face. Blake held Gwen’s hips as she leaned forward, bringing Apollo into her lap with them. Blake’s arms went around both of them in a tight hug.

“I love you both so much,” he spoke into her ear.


	55. Snapped

His tense, deep, concentrated thinking was enough to pull her out of slumber. 

Gwen shifted a bit restlessly, her arm reaching out behind her for Blake as she moved and settled in against his chest, cuddling up against him with her eyes still closed. She felt his arm move around her and hold her, and felt his chest fall beneath her as he let out a breath. 

“Why can’t you sleep, baby?” she murmured, staying still against him. 

His gaze fell down to her and he brought his hand up her back, stroking her hair a few times in silence before answering. “It’s nothing. Go back to sleep, honey.”

Gwen exhaled, and unexpectedly made a move to sit up on the bed. She reached across him and flicked the lamp on, rubbing her eyes sleepily and yawning as she looked down at Blake. One cursory observation and she could tell that he’d been laying there wide awake for quite some time, if not the entire night. He looked tired, but something was bothering him.

Her hand rested on his stomach. “When did you start lying to _me_?” she asked, using his own words against him from the other night. They had made her feel guilty and worked so well on her, she was hoping it would have the same effect. Not in a spiteful way, she just hated to see things bother him and she wanted to help. He was so strong for her that she often worried it was at the expense of himself. 

“Okay, yes, something is bothering me, but it’s not you. And I don’t want to keep you up with it. I want you to sleep.”

Gwen sighed, moving up a bit to curl back up against him, her arm holding him protectively across his midsection. “How many times have you stayed up with me late at night? How many times have you watched me work myself into a panic and you stuck around for hours just to sit with me, trying to calm me down? How many times…”

“…it’s not a matter of keeping score on these things,” Blake interjected. 

“So then you might as well tell me. Because I’m not going back to sleep until you get whatever it is off of your chest.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Me liking it is not a prerequisite.” 

“ _What else_ did he do to you, Gwen?”

The question was so sudden and felt her body startle and tense. The weight of such a question was heavy in the room as the feeling shifted immediately between them. 

“He can’t hurt me anymore,” she whispered, barely audible to him. She didn’t deflect, she didn’t lie, but she also knew the truth would kill him. Her body seemed to cling a little tighter to him in those moments. 

“What else?” he asked again.

“You’re asking questions you don’t want answers to.”

“Why aren’t you telling me the truth?”

“I’m not lying to you. There are other things. If I said there weren’t, then that would be a lie. But I’d admitting there are.”

“Then why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“Because I know you. And I’m embarrassed, so…”

The silence fell between them again. He was letting her words sit with him as his mind reeled. He was jumping to so many possibilities he could barely keep up with himself. 

“You said he didn’t hit you. Was that the truth?”

“Yes, that’s the truth.”

“I already know he fucked you over mentally,” Blake mused. He kept thinking back, thinking back to every time that Gwen shied away from him, retreated without meaning to, every time something spooked her or triggered her in some way that upset her. It was all starting to make sense to him now, especially over what she had told him the night before. But there was more. “Did he…did he force you to do things? Did he force himself on you?”

On the latter half of his question her body tensed, a silent, unmeaning gesture that let him know that he had either guessed it, or he was close enough that it had an effect on her. 

“That’s it, isn’t it?”

“It’s so much more complicated than that, and I’m really embarrassed like, nothing I have told you in the last twenty four hours has ever been told to anyone else before in my entire life and…” she let her words trail as she forced a deep breath. 

“Why is it complicated? Why are you embarrassed?” His voice was so low, yet so soothing, that alone hit her in the gut.

Blake shifted and moved to sit up, bringing her up with him as their eyes met for the first time. Surprisingly, her face seemed to be shut down, stone cold, instead of upset as he had expected. Perhaps it was a leftover coping mechanism, one that he hadn’t seen before, but it actually worried him more. 

“I’m embarrassed it happened. And ashamed over how I feel about it because it’s just complicated, Blake.”

“Does your lawyer know about any of this?”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“ _Gwen_ , why not?”

Her stone exterior broke a bit as she looked at him. 

“Because I’ve never told anyone. Because I’ve never told anyone it’s the only reason I have Apollo.” Tears began to stream down her cheeks immediately, and she took in a shaky breath. “I mean I don’t know how it could have been any more fucked up, because I hate him for doing that to me, I hate myself for staying and apologizing and convincing myself everything was my fault. And sometimes I feel like the most horrible mom on this entire planet because every once in a while, despite how much I love Apollo, it reminds me of that, and I don’t resent Apollo, I don’t, I love him more than my own life, it’s just so…it’s just so complicated, and the fact that I wouldn’t have him unless Gavin came home drunk and high that night and…” she shook her head, pausing, “…I’ve lived with that for three years and I don’t know how to make it better. I don’t. And I feel so hopeless sometimes.”

Blake stared at her, stunned. He had braced himself for something bad, but never in a million years had he imagined just how complicated it was. He thought back to the story she told him about sitting in the parking lot for hours after finding out she was pregnant, thinking about how mad Gavin was going to be, and being scared to go home. It only made a little sense then, but this new information put it in an entirely different, ugly light. Even though they didn’t keep anything from each other, it was in those moments where it was really starting to hit him for the first time how much she had actually lived through. 

“I’m going to fucking kill him."

“See? There was literally no reason for you to know, because look. You just hate him more and you’re even more upset now that I told you.”

“You don’t understand,” he said calmly. 

“Tell me what I don’t understand.” 

“You don’t understand that I need to know these things, sweetheart,” he said, his hand resting against her cheek as he spoke. “I need to know these things because knowing helps me better take care of you. Gwen, I can’t even put into words how…how obsessively over-protective I am of you. It makes me sick, the thought of someone hurting you or Apollo. And these are hard things that you’ve been through, so hard that they have crept up and effected you in our relationship. Which makes total sense, like I’m surprised it hasn’t effected you more, but if I know what’s going on in your head I can…I can help you better.”

Without hesitation, she moved forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips. Her arms rested on his chest as both of his arms went around her, and she was looking him straight in the eye. 

“Listen to me,” she said softly, her index finger scratching him a bit to get his attention. “I have this really great boyfriend that worries about me. He takes care of me, and loves me more than anyone ever has in my entire life. He loves my son like his own, and both of us have never felt this amazing before. Ever. And I mean that.” She offered him a small smile as she let out a breath before continuing. “My past effects me sometimes. I’ve pushed through a lot of mine to survive on my own, and maybe that wasn’t healthy, but it was necessary. I had to raise a kid. But I’m so _good_ with you, Blake, it’s like the world stops and nothing is wrong. You have this gentle, calming ability and you always put yourself last over us, it’s really selfless, and I’m always in awe.” She paused again. “I trust you with everything. My life, Apollo, everything in my head that makes me sound crazy or damaged. I trusted you last night, and just now, to tell you things that have happened to me. I don’t tell you all the details because I _know_ how much you love me, and I know that you’ll drive yourself crazy with them, end up in jail, or both. And baby, you do us so much more good waking up next to me every morning than ending up in jail for murder.” 

She leaned forward, closing the distance again as she kissed him slowly, her body melting into his again. He responded, deepening the kiss. She pulled back a little.

“You have taught me how to love all over again. You’ve been so patient with me. Thank you,” she whispered, before kissing him again. He seemed to relax, he was less tense now and that calmed her as well. “Do you want to try and go to sleep now?”

“Yeah, we can try that,” he responded, before kissing her again. She moved across him again and flicked the switch on the lamp, darkening the room. Gwen adjusted and moved herself back as they both slid down the mattress to lay down, Gwen resting on top of him, one of her legs laid between his. She gently trailed her nails along his chest and they both seemed to relax. 

“Everything has been intense lately, I can’t wait to have a day without me getting upset,” she said, a slight chuckle at the end to lighten the mood. So much really had happened, especially since they moved in together, but it was still so weird to her that those bad things just solidified their relationship and made them stronger. 

“Well, the appraisers will be here for the kitchen all of tomorrow with the people that are going to gut the damage, so I’m taking you and Apollo out. There’s no reason to stick around here, and it’s probably going to get loud.”

Gwen grinned. “Where are you taking us?”

He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “It’s a secret,” he whispered. 

“Hmph,” she responded, looking up at him a bit. “Will you at _least_ give me some direction for what to wear?”

“Mmm…your request will be considered.”

She started to laugh. “Blake, you’re such a dork.”

“You love this dork,” he reminded her.

She leaned up kissed him with a smile on her face. “Mmm. I do.” Her eyes glanced to the clock. “Oh my god, it’s almost 4am. We need to sleep.” She flashed him a pout on her face, and his arm tugged her back down to him. He turned her to the side and brought her up against him into the spooning position, holding her protectively.

“Go to sleep, sweetheart,” he said softly, with a pecked kiss on her cheek before he settled down. 

——

They slept in late that next morning. It wasn’t until Apollo came running in around nine that morning that they began to stir, reluctantly pulling themselves up to start the day. Gwen started to get herself ready as Blake took Apollo downstairs to open the door after the doorbell rang, indicating that the people had arrived to begin work on their kitchen. He showed them in and back to the kitchen before heading back upstairs to get the two of them ready.

Gwen put the final touches on her hair and makeup and they were out the door about an hour later, loading into Blake’s truck as they drove down the road. The southern California weather was perfect in the seventies that day, which she was thankful for as Blake revealed they were going to a huge outdoor street fair just off of Sunset. She didn’t remember the last time she had been to it, maybe when she was a kid, and she was secretly excited that Apollo would get to experience something from her childhood. It was so weird how Blake just knew how to pick things for them to do that were perfect in so many ways. 

As they walked through the parking lot and towards the madness, she caught a glimpse of that childhood; small rides, vendors with cotton candy and popcorn, plenty of craft and specialty food stalls, face painting, everything that kids dreams for made of. She grinned over at Blake and took his hand as they walked. 

“You literally know, like, the perfect places to take us.”

He pecked her on the cheek, bounced Apollo once up in his arms and continued walking, entering the street fair. Everything hit at once and overwhelmed her senses. 

“My god, all of a sudden I have a craving for funnel cakes,” she giggled. 

“We’ll make it part of our lunch,” he suggested. “Or, all of your lunch, you could get away with that.”

They found a greek food vendor and ordered a proper lunch first, Blake setting Apollo up on his lap on one of the picnic benches. Gwen walked a few booths down and ordered a funnel cake, grinning as she brought it over and sitting next to them at the table. 

“So what are these things?” Blake asked, looking down at it.

“Oh my god, have you never had a funnel cake?” Gwen asked him, shocked. “Did you not grow up in America?”

“Oklahoma born and raised, darlin’,” he said with a chuckle. “I mean sure, I’ve heard the name before, just don’t know what it is.”

“Well, it’s literally like, the worst thing you can put in your body,” she said with a laugh. “It’s basically fried dough and powdered sugar.” She tore off a small section and turned to face him, offering it to him as she brought it to his lips. He leaned forward slightly and took it from her fingers, discreetly and quickly licking one that he saw had more powdered sugar on it. He grinned and chewed.

“That’s probably the second best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth,” he decided. 

“Oh, just the second best?”

He leaned forward and kissed her. “Impossible to beat the first,” he whispered, before sitting back up, a smile on his face as he handed Apollo another french fry. 

Damn him. They were literally out, in the middle of the day, in a hugely public place, with her son, and all she wanted to do was jump him again. She let out a silent groan as she forced her eyes back down to her plate, tearing off a piece of the cake and taking a bite for herself. 

“I want thaaaat…” Apollo said, leaning across Blake’s lap and pointing to Gwen’s funnel cake. She giggled a little and moved closer to them, her leg touching Blake’s as she leaned towards him and gave him a small bite. Blake started chuckling a little, which caused her to look up at him.

“What?” she asked.

His finger came up and swiped the corner of her mouth, trying to get the powdered sugar off of it. Her lips were stained with the stuff, and when his finger didn’t get it on the first swipe he gave up and kissed her instead. She laughed a little as she kissed him back, pulling back a bit and raising her eyebrow at him.

“Powdered sugar. The stuff was all over you,” he explained.

“Riiiiight. I’m sure,” she said, in disbelief.

“I promise it was!”

The rest of the day was a carefree relief. They finished their food and went down the many rows of booths, seeing everything from shops to rides to face painting. Gwen tugged them into the face painting booth and picked Apollo up, showing him all of the designs and getting him to pick one. He leaned forward and his hand hit the cowboy, indicating that that was what he wanted. Gwen shot Blake a look at started laughing. 

“You’ve convinced him he’s a cowboy,” she said with a laugh.

“There are worse things to be,” Blake said with a chuckle.

“Blakey gets one too!” Apollo said, pointing over to him. 

“Well I’ll only get one if mom gets one,” he said, nudging Gwen. His little eyes went to her, waiting for a response. She started laughing. 

“Well it looks like we’re all getting one, then,” she said. Apollo clapped and giggled, and Gwen walked over with him and sat him down, letting one of the painters get to work. When they were done, Apollo had a cowboy on his right cheek, Blake had a matching one on his hand, and Gwen had a crown painted on her hand. 

Time got away from them and they spent all day there, and slowly the sun started fade as sunset was imminent. They finished up dinner at a local restaurant that was quick, and they began walking hand in hand back to the truck, Apollo’s body resting against Blake, exhausted from the day. They didn’t need words to communicate. Just a simple squeeze of the others hand, and they both knew and felt how content they were together. She wasn’t prepared for what was about to happen next.

Her body came to a full stop as they walked down a side street to cut back to the parking lot, her arm clinging tighter to Blake. He realized and felt her change of demeanor and stopped with her, taking a step back with her to stand next to her. Gwen’s eyes were locked on something in front of them, and she didn’t say a word. Blake followed her gaze, and, seeing what she was seeing, he tensed up, too. 

It was Gavin.

Blake gently shifted Apollo and turned to Gwen, tapping her to get her attention as he put the sleepy toddler into her arms. He slipped her the keys to the truck, his hand resting on her shoulder. 

“Take Apollo, and the keys, and go back to my truck. Wait for me there. Go now. Understand?”

“Blake what are you doing?” her voice was worried.

“I’m taking care of this once and for all.”

“Blake, don’t! Please, can we just go home?”

“Go to the truck, Gwen. Lock it, and wait for me.” Blake moved to take two strides forward and her chest tightened, wanting desperately to go after him but not knowing what to do because she had Apollo. She felt she knew where this was going, and there was nothing she could do except follow his instructions and just hope it didn’t turn out horribly. Upset and unwilling, she turned and took quick steps in the opposite direction, taking a different way back to the truck. She got Apollo in and buckled, climbed into the drivers seat, locked the locks and started the engine, then sat there. Her hand reached for the radio as she turned it up, trying to see if the music would calm her or distract her, or, in the very least, drown her sniffles out from Apollo being able to hear her. 

She sat there for what felt like an eternity, her hands gripping the steering wheel as she breathed. She heard a knock at the passenger side truck that startled her, and her head whipped over to see Blake. In a rush, she unlocked the truck and let him in. Immediately, she noticed his cradling one of his hands and he winced slightly as he climbed into the truck. 

“Blake, what happened? What did you do?”

“Drive. We’ll talk when we get home.”

“Blake…”

“Please, Gwen, just drive, okay? We’ll talk when we get home. I want to get out of here first.”

“Okay.”

She let out a breath, looking at the wheel in front of her, realizing this was the first time she was driving Blake’s truck. She pulled the lever into reverse, then drive, as she drove down the road in silence. 

——

She came and sat next to him on the couch, breaking in an ice pack as she reached for his hand, holding the ice against his hand. His face tensed at the sudden cold sensation but he relaxed.

“Lay back,” she instructed. He was a little confused, but he did so. Her hands moved and took the hem of his shirt, pushing it up his stomach. Delicately, she moved them down against his bare skin, feeling it, not seeing any obvious gashes. 

“You winced when you climbed into the truck. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t bleeding. There might be a bruise there, though, it looks tender.” Her eyes went to his. “Now, tell me what happened. Why did you go after him?”

“I had to,” he explained. “Gwen, I saw him, and I literally could not control myself. He’s put you through so much and he hasn’t felt any pain and I just snapped.”

“It’s not your fight,” she said softly. “And I don’t want to have to be worried about this happening again. About you going too far, or getting the cops called on you. Please, tell me he was still conscious?” 

“I slammed him up against a wall,” he said. “Got a few hits square on the jaw. Unfortunately, don’t think I broke anything. He slumped to the floor, yes, I promise, he was conscious, and I walked away. After threatening his life if he ever dared to come near you again.” 

“And did that make you feel better?” she asked.

“Why yes, it did, actually,” he responded. 

“Don’t do that again. Or we’re going to have a problem. The violence you just showed is no different than what he does, even if the intention was good. I won’t keep Apollo around it. That’s why I left.”

She moved to stand up and his arm reached out for her. “Hey,” he said softly, pulling her back down next to him. He sat up, leaned forward, and kissed her softly. She sighed, her eyes looking into his. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again, okay? Unless he goes after you physically, I won’t. I made a mistake. And I love you.”

Gwen reached out, letting her hand rest on his cheek. Secretly she was rooting for him, but the fact that he had just snapped like that kind of worried her. She knew Blake though, she knew she didn’t have to be worried, that he would be true to his word. Maybe he just needed to get a few punches out of him, Gwen had put so much on him the last few days about her past and frankly, this was a calm response compared to others that she could have dreamed up. 

“I love you too,” she finally said. “Please, try and let this go, though. It’s in the past, and Blake, you’re my future. We’re safe with you, and there’s no need to hold onto it.” _And if I have to keep reliving this, I will never find peace._

“Come on, lets get you a pain pill and put you to bed,” she said, standing up and holding her hands out to him.


	56. In A Little While

“Blake?”

Gwen stared down at her phone. It was buzzing, indicating a call was coming through. She hadn’t heard from her lawyer in quite a while, and her name flashing up on the screen suddenly in the middle of her cosmetics routine was startling. Blake joined her in the large master bath, Gwen’s eyes simply falling down to the phone, and he saw it too. She picked the phone up from the vanity and went to take a seat on the edge of the bathtub, Blake following and sitting next to her. As she swiped the bar to answer, his arm came around her, ready to help her get through whatever was about to happen.

It suddenly hit him how far they really had come in those moments. Gwen used to duck out of the room to take calls from her lawyer in private, and now she was summoning him to stay with her during them instead. 

“Hello?” she forced out, her free hand resting on his leg and squeezing it. Her mind was going a million miles a minute - what could this suddenly be about? There wasn’t a hearing for another month. Her nerves rose as she realized Blake had punched her ex only three days before, but Gavin wasn’t stupid enough to try and file charges, was he? Well, that was a dumb question, she realized, because Gavin was pretty stupid on a lot of things. She forced an exhale as she listened to her lawyer chatter on the other end. 

Blake remained in suspense, and just continued to hold her. He stroked gently through her hair as she continued to listen, a few “yes” and “no” answers here and there, but no other clues as to what was going on. It was only a moment later that Gwen’s breath hitched as she gasped, her grip tightening on him, and he just thought the worst. His grip tightened on her as she stayed silent, taking in the words from her lawyer, not focused on anything else in those moments. Blake got really worried as Gwen let go of his leg, reaching up to swipe a tear that had just fallen as she managed to compose herself. A few minutes later, she thanked her lawyer and let out a shaky breath before hanging up the call. Her phone dropped to the bath mat and her hand came over her mouth. His hand gently stroked her back, and he gave her a minute to think. 

“Hey…what happened?”

She started laughing through her tears, or crying, to be honest, he wasn’t really sure in those moments, but his first instinct was that it was laughter. Gwen popped her head up, swiped under her eyes, flashed him a grin and threw her arms around him with such force, she also ended up throwing her body into his lap. She laughed again, Blake joining in as he caught her, holding her tightly. He had never felt her hold onto him as tight as she was, and when she started placing kisses all over his face, enough was enough.

“Gwen, you’re killing me! Tell me what happened!”

She moved to sit up, swinging her legs around him, straddling him as she let her legs grip around his midsection, her arms around his neck. She wiggled her hips a little as she kissed him, and then laughed against his lips when she pulled back.

“Blake, we won.”

She swiped at a few more happy tears and grinned at him.

“But wait, you just…and then…wait, what happened?!”

“He signed over all of his rights this morning. That tape you made really helped, and she said he called in to his lawyer yesterday and said he was done. He didn’t care about any of this anymore so they…they drafted the paperwork and he signed off this morning. I have full custody. He doesn’t get anything to do with Apollo. And I have no idea why I’m crying right now, but oh my god, I am.” She laughed through her tears as her hands came to rest on his cheeks, placing another kiss on his lips.

“Oh my god!” he screeched in shock, clearly not believing what was happening. “He actually quit? He left? He’s leaving you alone? You never have to see him again?”

“I never have to see him again,” she whispered, the reality of it all still not hitting her. “I mean he wasn’t exactly paying child support, nor was he ever involved, he was only asking to see him because he knew it was fucking with me.”

“Gwen, I want to adopt Apollo,” Blake said suddenly, letting out a breath. They both looked at each other for a moment, stunned. Gwen because she wasn’t expecting it, and Blake because he hadn’t meant to say that so suddenly in this context, but he was so excited and literally couldn’t hold back his feelings and intentions from her.

“What?” she asked softly, her hands frozen against his cheeks as she searched his eyes for more. 

“Not today, not tomorrow,” he stumbled out, trying to explain himself as he suddenly felt tongue tied. “When we get engaged…when we get married, Gwen, I’ll be making that life long commitment to you and the only thing that would make that perfect is if I can do the same with him.”

“Have sex with me. Right now.”

Blake started laughing, and he only stopped as Gwen pushed her body into him, kissing him deeply. She rocked her hips into his groin and his hands tightened around her, groaning through the kisses he was reciprocating. She rocked again, and he had had enough. His hands slid under her robe, gripped her ass tightly and he stood up quickly, causing Gwen to squeal and cling to him as he started to take her out of the master bath and straight towards the bed. He laid them down on the bed, her back hitting the mattress as she exhaled, her hands moving down to his waistband of his pajama pants and tugging them down with his boxers. He moved in and kissed her deeply, his hand tugging at the tie on her robe to reveal her fully naked body underneath him. He laid on top of her, in between her legs as he continued to kiss her.

“Handcuffs. Top drawer, please,” she said breathlessly, deepening her kisses as her hips bucked up into him. He smiled against her lips and let out a low chuckle.

“You’re in a kinky mood,” he whispered against her skin, marking it down to her neck. 

“I can’t help it that I get off when you dominate me completely,” she whispered back. “I’m already so wet just thinking about it…” she said, as she took his hand and guided it down between her legs, bringing his finger along the length of her center which caused her to gasp against his neck. "Don’t tease me. Fuck me hard.”

Blake immediately leaned towards the drawer and dug through it, finding the handcuffs she said were in there. Gwen sat up and shrugged the robe off of her shoulders, pulling him by the shirt and forcing him to kiss her hard, unable to get enough of him. He pushed her back and grabbed her wrists, cuffing them to the headboard, his hands wandering down her body as he planted a few kisses down her torso. She let out a breath, her hands gripping tightly to the rails behind her. In one swift motion Blake pulled his shirt off, his hands reaching down to spread her legs open right before he entered her. Her hands fought against the cuffs as she moaned, her back arching as she adjusted, her hips bucking up into him to force him into her deeper. He slid all of the way in and her breath was ragged as she moaned again, desperate for him. 

Her ankles hooked around his lower back as she pulled him closer, just as he swooped forward and roughly took her lips into his. Her neck craned up and she forced it more, kissing even rougher and occasionally biting his lip for leverage as her body moved up with her. Blake’s hands fell to her hips as he slowly started moving in and out of her, quickly picking up an intense rhythm, she was moaning and biting her lip and thrashing her body in a desperate response. Blake felt himself harden even more, watching her reactions to him, which only caused him to continually increase the intensity. 

“Harder, baby, _please_ …” her voice was strained and he obliged, moving into her more intensely, and he could tell she was close. Her thighs were shaking around him and he moved down, taking one of her erect nipples into his mouth and slowly teasing, knowing fairly well that it was a ticket to pushing her over the edge. Another few thrusts and her thighs gripped around him intensely as she screamed, Blake’s mouth moving to cover hers to muffle the sound as he rode her through her orgasm. He thrust a few more times as she was falling apart which sent him over the edge as well, both finally collapsing onto the mattress, panting as if they had both just run a marathon. 

Her body writhed under his weight, his head slumped over on her chest as she placed a soft, barely-there kiss on his forehead. “God I can’t tell you how desperate I was for that,” her whispered, strained voice came. Those words brought him to life and he looked up with a grin and pecked her lips, reaching up to hit the release on the cuffs. Her arms fell down around his back, him staying rested on top of her as her thighs clung to him, needing the contact. Her nails softly began to trace circles against his back, which caused him to shiver as his arms tightened around her. He let out a satisfied moan as one of her hands went to his curls.

She giggled a little, looking down at him on her. “Blakeeeey…” she said softly. 

Blake grunted in response, not moving. She giggled again, placing a kiss on his head as she stroked down his back, holding him, letting him recover. The feeling of his body laying on top of her was enough to distract her, she had never felt this content. 

“Your thighs are still shaking, baby,” he murmured softly.

“And you’re still throbbing inside of me, _honey_ ,” she cooed.

Both of them giggled softly, before Blake moved up her body and laid next to her, still somewhat on top of her, but able to see her face now. She leaned forward the two inches separating them and placed a kiss on his nose sweetly. 

“You’re going to be Apollo’s dad,” she said softly, a huge grin suddenly taking over her face. “One day. But still, wow, oh my god, Blake, that’s so huge.”

“I think the three of us would be a good family,” he said, stroking her blonde locks out of her face. “Maybe even four someday,” he added softly, as his hand came to rest on her cheek. She smiled widely through happy teary eyes and couldn’t help but move forward and kiss him again deeply. 

“Is this real life?” she asked him, her head resting on the pillow but only a few centimeters away from his. “I mean, I can’t even tell you how crazy this is. How I went from a one-sided marriage to…” she shook her head, almost unable to finish her sentence. “…and now he’s gone for good, and I have you, and it’s just so much.”

“You’re giving me something too, baby,” he said. “Gwen, you’re giving me the chance to have a family. I know what it’s like to be in a marriage where it wasn’t a priority for her, even though I made it clear that I wanted one. That’s the greatest gift you can give me.”

“We can make all the babies you want,” she murmured against his lips. “When the time is right. I mean, in the meantime, we should definitely keep practicing.” A smile came across her lips and she softly placed them on his for a moment. 

“We’re really good at practicin’,” he said with a chuckle, offering her another kiss. 

“I want to give you that experience. I mean, Apollo’s going to be yours, a hundred percent, but, there’s something different when you get them as a newborn. It’s a different experience. And you’re already such a good dad to him, like, I’m trying not to jump ahead of myself here but I’m excited for it to happen one day.” She paused. “Does that weird you out that I already kind of think of you like that? I mean, you’re the closest thing he’s ever known to a dad…”

“No, babe, it’s an honor. It doesn’t weird me out,” he reassured her. 

“Okay, good,” she said with a grin. “Oh my god, I just can’t believe he’s gone for good.” She let her forehead fall against his and let out a breath, taking the moment in. Letting herself focus on him, the feeling of his arms around her, the relief she felt and the security of her new life. And it was only going to get better from there.


	57. Cohesion

Her key turned softly in the front door. The _thump_ of her handbag next to the door once inside slightly startled her fully conscious, but it only lasted for a fleeting moment. Her heels clicked softly against the hardwood, the sound deadening by the time she hit carpet. It was an ungodly hour, she honestly didn’t even remember the drive home from work or how she got to where she was in the present, but there she was. Her eyes fell on the couch, the glorious, empty couch and her body found itself sinking down into it, her stomach flat against the cushions as her head buried face down. 

“Baby?”

She heard his footsteps coming into the living room, and all she could do was mumble an incoherent noise to acknowledge his presence. Her eyes opened slightly as she felt him behind her, his hand holding her ankle as he pulled her heels off gently, one by one. They made a soft noise as Blake set them on the table, and Gwen let out a relaxed breath as her spiked heels were no longer constricting her. She felt the couch dip as Blake took a seat next to her, his hand stroking down her back. Gwen manages a quiet moan of approval.

Her eyes are kept close. “Why are you still awake? It has to be nearly 1am…” her soft voice came. 

“Waiting for you, honey. I don’t sleep well when you’re not home.” His hand continued to stroke her gently. “I’m sorry you had to stay late at work again.”

“These first few days back have nearly killed me,” she mumbled. “Emergency this, Gwen approve that…it never ends.”

“I’m sure you’ll be back to normal hours soon?” he asked.

Gwen hummed in response. 

“Apollo?” she asked.

“He ate all of his dinner, including all of his vegetables, we read two bedtime stories, and he was down by eight.”

“You’re a magical boyfriend.”

“Did you eat dinner?” he asked next. She stuttered out something incoherent as she mumbled, which caused him to chuckle. “I don’t think _“grudnadmam”_ is a food…”

Gwen pulled her head up off the couch and looked back at him, eyebrow raised. “I said _granola bar_ ,” she corrected, her cheek laying back down against the couch. He could tell she has having trouble keeping her eyes open. 

“Come on, why don’t you sit up? I made dinner. You should try to eat some before you pass out.” He patted her back as he stood up, walking back over to the kitchen. He poured a few ladles of soup into a bowl and came back over to her, trying to hand it to her. 

“I’m basically already sleeping,” she protested. 

He gently set the bowl on the side table and tapped her shoulder, indicating for her to shift so he could sit down with her. She let him, and the moment he settled back, she crawled into his lap and leaned against his chest. She exhaled as one of his hands gently trailed down her shoulder, while his other hand reached for the bowl. He brought it in front of her and handed it to her.

“You made soup?” her girly pitched voice came, a tired smile suddenly plastered across her face. “Soup is like the best thing in the entire world.”

Blake chucked again and kissed the top of her forehead. “I’m glad, darlin’.”

Gwen took the spoon and took a few bites, and Blake watched some life come back to her as she all but devoured the bowl. She handed it to Blake when she was done and relaxed back against him, letting out a huge sigh.

“I’m so screwed. Lisa wants me in at 7am tomorrow morning, Taylor’s not coming over until 9, and if I go to bed right now that’s basically barely five hours of sleep. Or less, because I’m tired, and annoyed, and I don’t sleep well when things bother me. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do with Apollo….and god, I have barely seen him for the past few days, and I feel like the most horrible person.”

His hand moved up and gently pulled her against him, encouraging her to lean her head against his chest. She closed her eyes again and let out a breath as he gently stroked her hair. He really was amazing at knowing exactly what she needed. 

“I’ve got Apollo tomorrow morning,” Blake said. “I don’t have to head to the studio until 10:30."

“Blake, you don’t have to do that. He’s usually so cranky in the mornings…like his routine is insanely complicated just because I spend most of the time trying to soothe him awake to start the day, but he gets so cranky so easily, and you shouldn’t have to deal with that…”

“Stop that,” he said quietly. “Gwen, if Apollo is going to be mine one day, I mean, he already is partially mine, but you know what I’m saying, just…you have the help sitting right here. Let me give you that help, baby. Apollo having a cranky morning isn’t going to scare me off.”

“I know, it’s just, an extra burden.”

“I keep telling you that Apollo is not a burden, Gwen.”

She let out a breath, pulling to sit up in his lap a bit as she looked at him. “I’m sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you, I just feel so bad when other people get left with things that I should be doing.”

“You’re not a single parent anymore,” he said. “I don’t care about the legal stuff. You are not alone. You don’t have to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders for him.”

“Today I shrugged,” she said quietly.

“No, today you worked your ass off because you have dreams and goals, and both of us are here to support you.”

Her eyes closed again, sleepily, as she let out a yawn. She let those words linger in the air as her head fell back to his chest, his arms tightening a bit around her.

“Love you,” she whispered. 

“Love you too,” he responded. “Come on, let’s get you out of these nice clothes and into bed. I’ll help you in the morning, you’ll work all day tomorrow, and when you leave in the afternoon you’ll know it’s the weekend and we can just relax. Ok?”

“That sounds amazing,” she said, but she didn’t move. He nudged her a little bit and she stood up, the two of them walking hand in hand up the stairs and towards their bedroom. 

——  
The alarm had gone off way too soon, and Gwen was struggling to get out of bed as she flicked the lamp on. She slumped against Blake for a moment and let out a frustrated sigh before standing up and getting into the shower. She went about her normal routine, getting dressed, heading downstairs. Apollo had woken up early, and when she walked into the kitchen her eyes fell on Blake holding the little toddler against his chest, putting a carton of milk back in the fridge. The sight of them together like that melted her heart, and made her freeze at the kitchen entrance for a moment. 

“Hi baby boy,” Gwen said softly, walking over to Apollo and kissing the top of his head. It was hard to leave him, but almost harder to know what Blake might have to endure that morning getting the little on ready.

“French vanilla coffee, black, like you like it,” Blake said, scooting a travel mug in her direction. He reached behind him, grabbing a brown bag, which he then set next to the travel mug. “Real food, I packed you lunch, it was the only way I knew to counteract you trying to live off of the coffee alone. Heat it up in the microwave. It’s foolproof and I even wrote instructions. Eat it. It’s good for you.” By now her cheeks were red, she sometimes got like this when he was so sweet to her and she didn’t know how to react, or it was so much love and she didn’t know how to handle it. 

His free hand reached out to her waist and tugged her close to him, her body leaning against his as he leaned forward and took her lips with his, planting a long, slow kiss. He pulled back slightly, and tugged her to lean against him into a hug. “And that was something to give you a taste of what’s to come this weekend,” he said lowly, knowingly. 

“I think I need more details on that last one,” she whispered, her eyes heated as they glanced up to him. His lips turned up into a smile and a moment later he moved down again and kissed her, his hand tightening on her waist, as she let out a moan into his mouth. 

She pried herself away after that, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop. Knowing she wanted to sit in her robe on the couch with her boyfriend and baby boy and eat cereal from the box instead of go to work. But she had to go to work.

It was another long day, but it wasn’t nearly as bad or long as the day before had been. Her mind was preoccupied as she just kept her thoughts on Blake. She started resenting her job. She loved her job, but she resented it, it took her away from him. She let out a breath, pushing that frustration out of her head because she knew the week had just defeated her and she was missing her family. She refused to be the wife that stayed home without a job. She had worked so hard for where she was at, and people were just getting to her that day.

She opened the brown bag that Blake had sent to work with her and immediately smiled a bit, seeing that he really had left actual instructions on how to heat up the food taped to the top of the tupperware. It made her laugh a little, because she really was that helpless at times, and he had the patience of a tree. Following the instructions to the letter she popped the container in the microwave, eagerly devouring the cheese quesadilla he made for her at her desk. Before it was too far gone, she snapped a picture on her phone and sent it to Blake in a text message.

_Who knew cowboys could make yummy quesadillas? Gx_

_Thank you for a sign of life. Love you. -B_

The rest of the day she blocked out. It wasn’t until her arms went around his neck and she pushed up on her toes to kiss him in the doorway to their home that she relaxed, feeling herself coming back to life in those first few moments. Gwen had a huge smile on her face as their eyes locked, before she was distracted by little feet running quickly towards her. Two little arms grabbed her leg and she laughed and pulled her attention down, scooping Apollo into her arms and spinning him around, making him laugh. Blake watched her in those moments, taking them in. Realizing they were his family, and for some reason that really hit him suddenly in those moments. 

Gwen moved to walk inside, with Blake closing and locking the front door behind them. She immediately moved into the living room and sat on the ground with Apollo, watching him get lost in his toy cars. She picked one up and played with him, pretending to crash one of them into the one in his hand, causing him to laugh. 

“Noooooooo…” Apollo said, pushing Gwen’s car off of his. 

“But that’s an accurate representation of how your mother drives, bud,” Blake mumbled, taking a seat behind her. Gwen shot him a look at he chuckled. 

“You’re literally being such a meanie right now,” Gwen whined, playfully jabbing him in the stomach, which only caused him to laugh more. 

“Literally!” he repeated, poking fun at her. She couldn’t help but laugh, though, following his comment. 

Blake moved forward and laid on his stomach, picking up one of the cars for himself as he joined in Apollo’s game. Gwen’s free hand went to rest on his upper back, scratching her nails gently there as she knew he loved that. Her hand wandered through his hair, and once she had messed it up, he looked back over to her with a goofy grin to match his disheveled look, and she laughed a little. 

“Can we just stay here tonight?” she asked. 

“Of course honey. I was thinking maybe we can just order pizza and cuddle on the couch…you’ve had a long week."

“This is all I wanted in life,” she said softly, her eyes staying on his, a small smile coming to her face.

“A boyfriend with messy hair?” he teased. 

“No,” she said, pecking a quick kiss on his forehead. “A life with someone."


	58. Watch Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, listen up!
> 
> I want to take a moment to thank everyone who reads this fic and comments on it and gives me support, ideas, and constructive criticism (key word - CONSTRUCTIVE). I've been able to keep it up this long because of all of that, with ideas for future chapters planned out. I really enjoy not only using writing as a stress relief, but I love the fact that people enjoy it and get excited over it. 
> 
> A little about my real life - it's stressful as hell. I have an executive level job in one of the toughest fields that drains a lot out of me, and for reasons such as this, I do not come out and tell everyone who I am on Twitter. There's a small core group of people that know and are the basis for my support, but otherwise, I keep my ao3 name separate from my real life persona. But don't think that I don't see what's going on. I'm in this fandom just like everyone else. I see when you post my ao3 name on twitter asking for updates or talking about my work, and it makes me smile and makes me want to turn out my chapters faster. I also see the negative people. Speaking of negative...
> 
> I will not tolerate nasty comments on my writing. They will be deleted. I received one on my last update that upset me, posted directly on the chapter, and then I got raked across the coals on twitter and called out for deleting it because someone said they saw it and it's not "right" to delete negative comments, that I should "accept all comments, positive and negative". I refuse to accept nasty, deconstructive comments. If you do not like this story anymore, don't read it. Move along, I don't need to know about it, nor do I care about your opinion. There are plenty of people that are still excited and like this story, and I'm doing this for them, not you. 
> 
> There is so much negative in this world already, and this is me refusing to add anymore by responding to it. This is fan fiction, it's supposed to be fun. There's a classy way to offer feedback, ideas, etc., and it's really that simple. If you can't be nice, move along. It doesn't hurt anyone if you read something, don't like it, and keep it to yourself. I've seen it tear people apart when someone reads something, doesn't like it, and feels they need to tell them how horrible and how stupid they are because of their writing. That sucks. 
> 
> Because I made you read this novel before getting to the update, I will now reward you with smut. Enjoy. Thank you, and love to all.
> 
> xoelectric

He was surprised to wake up in bed by himself.

Blake’s eyes blinked a few times as his hand moved over his face, looking around the room, no sight of Gwen. Surely, with how late the three of them had stayed up the night before, he expected to wake to find her passed out next to him, but that wasn’t the case. The room was empty, the morning light coming in through the blinds, the red, glaring digits on his alarm clock reading _8:15_ indicating the time. He heard the sound of rustling, things being moved downstairs, that piqued his curiosity. 

Slowly, he made his way up and out of bed, walking towards the door to head in the direction of the noise. He stopped at Apollo’s room first, peaking inside quietly as his eyes fell on the sleeping toddler, before he closed the door and continued towards the stairs. He was halfway down the stairs when he saw Gwen balancing on a step ladder, dangerously so, as she had it tipped against the wall as she tried reaching to the top of the ceiling. Sometimes it worried him how fiercely independent she was, she tried doing everything on her own instead of asking for help. He moved quietly behind her as to not startle her, his hands gripping her hips tightly, which made her gasp a little. She was pushing up on her toes and securing painter’s tape against the trim.

“Gwen, one of these days you’re going to fall and give me a heart attack,” he said sternly.

“Babe, I’m okay,” she said softly, turning in his arms and giving him a small smile. Blake took her in at that moment - her loose overalls, hair in a messy bun, make up nowhere to be seen, and only a bra underneath. He had no idea how such a simple, dressed down look got him so turned on. 

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to get started on this,” she added, sliding down in his arms and placing a kiss on his lips.

“It’s barely eight, why are you up so early? You’re allowed to sleep in on a Saturday,” he said. “And we stayed up pretty late last night…”

“I dunno. I’m just awake,” she said with a laugh. She moved past him a bit and bent over, grabbing the top of one of the heavy paint cans and dragging it across the tarp, over towards the wall. 

“At _least_ let me help,” he said, his hand coming over hers and lifting the paint off the ground. She let go, allowing him to take it. “Where do you want it?”

“Riiiiiight there,” she said, pointing to the corner of the wall. Blake nodded and carried the paint can over, setting it down where she asked for it. She came up behind him, tugged on his shirt a little and pulled him to her. Without a word, she pushed up on her toes and her lips turned into a smile, just before placing a soft kiss on his lips. “How is it that you’re this hot all the time?” she asked quietly.

He grinned as his hands moved around her waist, holding her against him. “Baby, that thought runs through my head multiple times a day.” He kissed her again. “You know, you still haven’t made good on that promise with our new couch…”

“Mmm. What promise was that? I don’t remember a promise,” she said with a smirk, kissing the corner of his lip. She felt his hands rest on her bare sides, gently drawing up to the edge of her bra, right under her breasts. 

“You know _exactly_ what promise I’m talkin’ about,” he said lowly, his fingers tickling her ribs a bit, making her squirm and let out a giggle. “Don’t make me say it.”

“I think you need to say it,” she challenged him. She nibbled on his lip, her eyes locking seductively with his. She hadn’t planned to get all hot and bothered that morning, but damn it if she was.

His hands moved delicately behind her back, finding the clasp of her bra and promptly unhooking it. He didn’t bother to try and pull it all the way off; his hands pushed it out of his way as they slid up her back, and then back around to the front as he took them into his hands. He let his thumbs teasingly brush over her nipples. She let out a groan as she bit her lip, not daring to break eye contact. 

“What do you want to do to me, Blake?”

The next moment his hands fell to her bare hips and her back was pushed up against the wall as he was kissing her deeply, desperately. He caged her with his arms as his knee came up and pushed in between her legs to give him more leverage. Her arms tightened around his neck as she pulled back for a split second for air before launching forward and kissing him again. His hands moved up and snapped her overalls off, pushing them off her shoulders and promptly discarding her bra, leaving her chest exposed to him. 

Her hands moved and tugged his shirt off fast and just as the fabric hit the ground, Blake’s hands grabbed her hips and she let out a gasp and a giggle as he hoisted her over his shoulder. He took maybe eight long strides at a quick pace before he pulled her down and let her back hit the couch, her body squirming slightly as she adjusted and moved back. Innocent brown eyes looked up to him with a smirk and a bite of the lip as she let her hips move a bit, her body begging for his touch again.

Instead of immediately climbing on top of her, he sat on his knees at the opposite end of the couch. His torso leaned forward and parted her legs slightly as he came in between them. His fingers hooked on the side of her pants and underwear as he tugged down slowly, pulling her legs straight up into the air so that he could take them off and leave her completely naked. Her legs moved down and he stayed in between them, her thighs quivering in anticipation of what was to come. Keeping eye contact with him was almost too much to handle anymore and she forced her gaze to the ceiling, lip still bit, right before her eyes closed. 

His finger traced her inner thigh, slowly working towards her center. He knew she was already ready for him, her hands were clenching the couch and he could see her arousal apparent in front of him. Her back arched slightly to search for him when he pulled back, just before his finger moved to her other thigh to do the same trace pattern up to her center. She let out a whimper but bit her lip again, trying to not let him get the best of her as a ragged breath escaped. 

“Open your eyes,” he said, a hint of sudden authority in his voice. His hands moved up and his arms hooked around her thighs, holding her hips still and open in a deadlock she wouldn’t be able to wiggle out of. She pursed her lips together and obliged, her gaze moving down to him just as she felt his heated breath on her center. 

“Why?” she managed in a whisper.

“I want you to watch what I’m doing to you,” he replied lowly, moments before his mouth moved against her, lightly gliding against her clit. She let out a gasp and her thighs shook to move but she couldn’t, he had her secured. He did it once more and her body shook again, even with her eyes on him she couldn’t anticipate exactly what he was going to do. 

“Oh my god, Blake…” she whined, her head snapping back as his tongue lingered on her longer, dipping inside of her for barely a moment before breaking the contact again. 

“You’re not watching me,” he breathed against her skin. A few moments passed and he wasn’t touching her, she opened her eyes and shot him a desperate look. His tongue touched her clit again and his arms tightened to hold her as she tried to buck her hips against him but failed. He swirled his tongue around her entrance in different, delicate patterns, but wasn’t going inside of her again. Her thighs were trying to clench against him, desperate to build the pressure but unable to get any leverage. 

“I _am_ watching you, Blake please,” she cried, feeling the intensity of her shaking thighs increase as her desperation and pleasure were both mounting in unison. 

“What’s wrong baby, is this not enough for you?” He was fucking with her now, and all she felt like doing was thrashing her body against the couch in rebellion, but something kept her still. Perhaps it was how intricate his moves were, or the feeling of being held down and helpless, but for now she obeyed. His tongue dipped inside for a fleeting moment and pulled out, trailing down her leg, away from her center, and her body was squirming again as she let out a groan, and tried her luck at breaking out of his grasp - another failed attempt. 

Her hands unfisted from the couch and flew down to grip his shoulders and she squeezed tightly and desperately as she let out a series of frustrated moans and whimpers. Her thighs were fighting him so hard to clench together and made perhaps half and inch of ground - the scene before him of her thighs gripping and trying to grab onto air made the blood surge through him and he had to force himself to concentrate. He let out an amused chuckle as he pulled back a bit to watch her, his erection full blown as she lay tortured underneath him. 

“It must be enough for you, you’re not telling me any different,” he tried again.

“Blake, no! I need more. I’m begging you, please, oh my god, _please_ …” her voice strained as her hands gripped and pulled on him as hard as she could, trying to get him to go back to her center. The first few tugs were unsuccessful and she whined desperately, squirming her body as she pouted, before he finally let her pull him a bit. It barely helped though, as he just started back from the beginning with that slow, light, torturous tongue touch against her clit.

“Blake, I can’t handle this anymore! Fuck, fuck, fuck…” she gasped.

“The baby is sleeping, Gwen, you need to lower your voice,” he murmured. 

“I don’t _caaaaare_ ,” she whined quietly, not even able to fully process what he was saying or the consequences of that in the moment. 

His tongue entered her again, and picked up a sudden pace that satisfied Gwen immediately. She was so close to the edge, she knew that it was only going to take a few more seconds, her head snapped back as her body thrashed and then….

Nothing.

Her entire body jolted in shock as she felt nothing. She had been so close to an orgasm and his mouth left her completely, pulled out within a second, leaving her legs shaking desperately as her widened eyes locked on the ceiling in confusion. She was panting, coming back to reality a moment later.

“BLAKE!” she screamed desperately. She wanted to ask why, she wanted to scream at him, but the words couldn’t escape her mouth. She felt like crying as she felt herself shaking, beyond desperate. 

“ _You weren’t watching_ ,” he hissed, groaning a bit as he held onto her tighter as she bucked her hips and thrashed her body against him in protest. 

“Please, please, please, I’ll keep my eyes open this time just…please help me…Blake, please, I’m _dying_ , and I need you to…” she took a ragged breath, the words catching in her mouth, “…I need, I need you to make me come.” Her eyes went back to him and she nodded her head, letting him know that she was ready.

Hell, he _knew_ she was ready. 

“What do you need me to do? Say it again,” he said, nonchalantly. 

“Blake I need you to make me come. Right now. I’m so close. I’m so wet, and you’re the only person that can help me. Please, I’m so desperate for you.”

“You _are_ soakin’ up the brand new couch, darlin’.”

“And who’s fault is that?!” she snapped back. Her breathing went ragged again as she tried to catch her breath. He must have felt bad, or unable to control himself anymore as he want back in for her center with his mouth, his tongue moving inside immediately. She gasped and moaned loudly, her breath catching as he moved in and out of her. Gwen’s hands gripped onto Blake’s head as she felt her orgasm build, her eyes locking with his the moment before he let her go over the edge. She gasped as she felt her thighs convulsing, their eyes staying locked as she rode through her orgasm, fighting the urge to snap her head back as he continued, finding it strangely and unexpectedly hot to watch him pleasure her like this. 

Her body slumped back and twitched as he continued a few moments after she came down, fighting the sensitivity she felt as his touch was on her. She was trying to focus her breathing as she closed her eyes shut tightly, her hands gripping the couch again in fists. Somewhere between her climax and her limp body against the couch, Blake released her legs from his stronghold, gently lowering them down as she recovered. A bead of sweat ran down the side of her forehead as she gasped, feeling ultra sensitive even though it was only his hands on her shoulders. He laid down on top of her in between her legs, letting his head fall to her chest as he felt her body twitch underneath him.

She moaned and squirmed a little bit, indicating to him that she had found some strength, which caused him to turn his head up at her and grin just before going in for a deep kiss. Her arms rested lazily against his back as her breath caught against his neck. 

“That promise was worth the money for a new couch,” he murmured, placing a kiss on her neck. 

She let out a deep breath. “You like when I beg,” she managed, in a whisper.

“Is that bad?”

“No,” she replied. “That was… _so_ much fun. Fucking incredible.” She was still breathless as she bit her lip, her chest rising and falling against and underneath him. She felt her cheeks redden slightly, both in slight embarrassment and because of the energy that required to keep up with. “Fucking mean, but god damnit, Blake, _fucking incredible_.”

“I want to be inside of you,” Blake whispered against her neck. “Are you okay for that?”

She craned her neck up slightly and took his lips with hers, deeply kissing him for a moment before she wiggled her legs around him, her hands caressing down his back and to his hips as she latched onto his boxers, tugging them down gently. His hands rested on the couch, framing near her face as he pushed up and let her adjust him and touch her entrance before slowly pushing inside. She was so wet it was almost effortless, she adjusted quickly and moved up to lean her back against the side of the couch for more leverage. He moved up with her and gently established a rhythm, kissing her through it as soon his orgasm came. He groaned and pushed into her harder, her walls closing around him as her hands gripped him tightly. She whimpered as he finished, coming down half on top of her, half on top of the couch for his own recovery.

“Mama! Dadaaa!” the toddler’s words came suddenly from the top of the stairs and they both jumped up in a panic. Gwen scrambled forward and pulled Blake’s boxers up his legs and she couldn’t help but giggle through her panic. Instead of standing up, she was in such a hurry she accidentally flipped herself off the couch and landed on the hardwood floor with a _thump_.

“Are you okay?!” Blake gasped.

“Get my clothes!” she squealed, followed by a few “Ow, ow, ow…” as she pulled herself to stand, rubbing the hip she had fallen on. “Apollo baby, we’re down here, I’ll come get you! Don’t go down the stairs on your own.”

Blake jogged a few strides and grabbed her bra, coming back to Gwen as he didn’t even think about it and started shoving it up her arms. As she got that situated Blake swooped down and grabbed the overalls, holding them out for Gwen to step into which she did. Blake stood up pulling them with him and the straps flew over her shoulders, and Gwen took off immediately to the stairs. She grinned as Apollo waved at her from the top step and giggled as she scooped him up in her arms and gave him kisses on his cheek, making him laugh.

“Sweet boy! Good morning baby!” she said cheerfully, walking back down the stairs. Blake was at a sudden loss for what to do, if he should move, or go somewhere else, but damnit - wait - Apollo was two, he wouldn’t know anything was going on and…and he made the decision to just sit on the couch awkwardly, trying to pretend nothing was weird, even though he crossed his leg weirdly and suspiciously, and his hand seemed out of place as it twitched nervously against the couch.

“Daaaaaada!” Apollo said, once they stepped off the last stair and his eyes caught onto Blake, excited.

“Hi buddy!” it came out awkwardly, but he just had to keep reminding himself the kid’s age, and it was totally fine, and he was clueless. Gwen started full on laughing when her eyes fell on Blake being awkward, popping down on the couch next to them. Apollo moved out of Gwen’s arms and crawled over to Blake’s lap, grinning at him. 

Gwen followed suit, leaning against Blake as she chuckled again, which caused him to join in along with her. Apollo had no idea why they were laughing but joined in too, which only made Gwen laugh harder. Blake’s arm came around her and he gripped her arm tightly, knowingly, and it was all she needed to feel that made her know where his mind was still at. She gently rested one of her hands against his thighs, gripping it as well. The rush of almost getting caught kept her adrenaline sky high, and she really needed to chill out. 

“How’s your hip, honey?” he asked, trying to distract himself. He would have bet she needed the distraction help about then, too.

She let out a groan, letting her head fall to his shoulder. “Sore. It’s going to bruise. I feel it. It’s throbbing.”

“Throbbing…” he said lowly.

“Blake. _Behave._ ,” she commanded, through gritted teeth. 

“Sorry.” He forced an exhale, his eyes going back to Apollo. 

“Pancake!” he said as he bounced in his lap with a grin. “Pancake?” the second time it sounded like a question. 

“Well, I guess it’s you and me making pancakes this morning, buddy!” Blake said with a smile, looking over to Gwen. Her hand was still gripping on his thigh, she was concentrating on something, trying to force herself to calm down, probably. 

“Come here,” he whispered. Those words pulled her attention up to him and they smiled at each other, him leaning forward to kiss her. It was innocent, and the missing piece she didn’t know she was lacking. She let out a breath, pulled back a little, and pecked a cheek on his forehead. 

“Okay, cowboys, you go make the pancakes and I’m going to start priming the walls,” Gwen announced. “ _I’m staying far away from that damn kitchen,_ ” she added, muttering. 

“Aww babe, don’t be scared of the kitchen,” Blake said with a chuckle.

“It’s fine. I want to paint. You’re better in there anyways.” She patted his leg, and forced herself to stand up, Blake moving to stand right behind her. “One more kiss,” she asked cutely. Blake obliged, breaking it off before it got too heated, and forced himself to walk with Apollo into the kitchen, cooling down from Gwen.


	59. Coalesce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Brie and Jo.
> 
> Without these two, I wouldn't have written anything this week. Thank you both for caring so much about me, I love you.

“But do you _have_ to go on tour?”

She was pouting, and she knew it. She knew it was unfair that she was like this, but it just recently started to feel like everything was settling down for them in their new life and suddenly Blake’s tour dates were popping up. Gwen knew they had been planned for quite some time, she just wasn’t ready to be without her cowboy. Her elbows rested on the kitchen island, her chin in one hand, as she flashed her innocent looking eyes Blake’s way. Blake pulled a carton of milk out of the refrigerator, turning to meet her gaze and letting out a small chuckle over how pathetic she looked. 

“Aw, babe,” he said, getting caught up in just how endearing she looked when she was pouty. He would never get over that. “It’s not like a _tour_ tour, I’ll be gone some days here and there at a time because it’s spread out. And it’s only over the course of a few weeks,” he explained. Gwen scrunched her nose at him, still not liking that answer. 

Blake set the milk carton down and made his way around the kitchen island, his hands sliding to her hips before tugging her towards him. Gwen let him do so willingly, their eyes meeting as their bodies pressed together. 

“I have some news, though,” Blake said in a more upbeat tone, which caused Gwen to hum in response. “There was a last minute show that was added in Atlanta, and it’s on a Saturday in a few weeks…so I was thinkin’ if you wanted to come visit…”

“And Lizzy can come?!” she almost squealed, a huge grin coming to her face as she felt her body jolt up suddenly. Blake chuckled again at her sudden excitement and nodded in response. 

“I thought you’d like that,” he said with a grin. 

“Blake that makes me so happy!” She pecked a kiss on his lips and snuggled into him, almost forgetting about the part where he still had to go to other cities to do his tour without her. She had a feeling she would stay in denial on that one as long as possible. 

He stroked her hair back as his other arm hugged her, keeping her against him as he let out a small sigh. “You know...leavin’ you is the worst and hardest thing I ever have to do, right?”

“It’s just… _ugh_. You leave tomorrow morning and that’s literally not enough time. And I agreed to this stupid nail appointment with Jen this afternoon and I really just want to stay here with you. Spend the time we have.”

His lips pressed against the top of her head. “You’re not going to be gone forever,” he said. “You’ve been cooped up here or in your office this week and it’ll be good for you to relax and get out with Jen. Besides, Apollo and I made plans for while you’re out, no girls allowed.” 

Gwen pulled her attention up to meet his eyes and raised an eyebrow at him, chuckling. “You’re such a _dad_ ,” she said, shaking her head. He grinned, proud of the title, and pecked her lips. 

“Go. Have fun with Jen. I promise there will be wine for you when you get home…and me,” he said. Gwen pouted again before kissing him deeply, squeezing his upper arms tightly before they let each other go. Gwen moved around by his side and passed him, squeezing his ass with a giggle as she made her way to the dining room table to collect her handbag.

“You kill me, woman,” he mumbled, reaching after her and pulling her back towards him, kissing her deeply. He took all of the oxygen out of her lungs and she pulled back, a bit breathless. 

“If you don’t let me go right now, Blake Shelton…” she said, in a warning tone. 

He felt himself getting hard. He knew what he wanted to do, every instinct in his body wanted to push her up against the wall and feel up every inch of her body, but he couldn’t. He had plans that he had to execute, and only a small window of time to do so, and for that, he needed Gwen to leave.

He groaned. “I love you, baby. Go meet Jen,” he said, pecking one last kiss on her lips and keeping himself under control.

“Mmm. Love you, cowboy,” she said, clutching her handbag and walking out towards the door.

Blake watched her leave, watched the door close, listened for her car engine to start before he retrieved his phone, sending out a mass text.

_She just left. Give it five minutes and start bringing everything in. -B_

——

“Blake, honey, you’ve outdone yourself - you’re so thoughtful, you’re going to make me cry.”

Gwen’s mom was near tears as the petite woman squeezed her hands on one of Blake’s arms, looking around the house. In just under an hour and a half, dozens of people had made their way into the house - Gwen’s parents and a lot of her family that lived nearby, Blake’s mom and sister Endy with her husband and kids, Gwen’s friends that he knew of in LA, and a few of his co-workers and crew from _The Voice_.What started out in his head as a small housewarming party had exploded into a huge, over the top affair, complete with catering trays, numerous bottles of wine, presents, kids running around, and decorations. The final product didn’t even look this good in Blake’s head, and he was also in awe over what their friends and family helped him accomplish. 

“Ma’am, please don’t cry. I just wanted to do somethin’ special for your daughter. I really do love her,” he said surely, and in the next moments a few tears fell from Patti’s face as she smiled at him. Dennis came behind his wife and gave her a hug, leading her away from Blake and towards the couch to help her gain composure. Blake let out a breath, looking at his surroundings. The streamers and balloons Endy and the rest of his family had brought were strewn along every possible place that would hold them.

“Can I get some help, quickly please?!” Mariel called from the foyer, which snapped Blake out of his thoughts and sent him rushing to see what she needed. His eyes fell on Mariel balancing on a tilted step ladder against the wall, which caused him to chuckle and roll his eyes.

“You’re definitely my wife’s best friend,” Blake mumbled as he held his hands out to her to help her come down, his mind flashing back to the few times he had caught Gwen dangling off a ladder in compromised positions. 

Mariel froze, her eyes widening. “ _Wife?_ ” she almost choked. 

Blake froze, embarrassed and stuttering a bit, trying to get words to come out of his mouth.

“Oh my god! That bitch didn’t even tell me you were engaged, but you’re _married_?!”

“Please, keep your voice down,” he said in a mumbled panic, his eyes shooting back to the hallway that led to where the rest of their guests. There didn’t seem to be anyone else around. “Girlfriend. I meant…I meant girlfriend.”

Mariel came down from the step ladder and gave him a curious look. “You have the ring, though, don’t you?”

Blake couldn’t have lied if he tried, and he just nodded like a kid that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“Is that what this party is? Are you proposing to her?”

“No, no, not yet,” he responded. What was it with women obsessing over when he was proposing to Gwen? First Endy, and now Mariel. It was kind of weird, as he found himself starting to confide in a woman he didn’t really know, but he was just relieved someone knew his secret. 

“But you have that planned too, don’t you?” Damn it, was he that transparent? 

“I, uhm…” he stuttered, letting out a breath. “We’re going to Atlanta in a few weekends. It’s where we met, ya know? It’s where we started. So uhm, I think it’ll be special for her if I do it there.” He paused, letting out a nervous laugh. “I’ve never been this nervous about anything in my entire life,” he confessed. 

“Blake, she’s so in love with you,” Mariel reassured him, without missing a beat. “You never saw her with Gavin. He was a train wreck on her life, and I’ve never seen her this happy…ever. You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“She wants me to adopt Apollo,” he added proudly. “She said that to me. I asked her and she seemed happy.”

Mariel laughed at how endearing he could be for such a tall, rustic cowboy. “Then Blake, why are you so nervous?”

“Because I don’t want to rush her. I don’t want her to feel pressured. I don’t want to scare her off.”

Silence fell between them for a few moments.

“Listen, Blake,” Mariel began. “If there’s one thing I know about Gwen, it’s that she loves life and it loves her right back. She gets anxious over nothing, worries about everything, and talks herself out of things that are right in front of her. You’re right in front of her, and you’re obviously right _for_ her. Just be patient, reassure her.” She paused, before adding one more line of encouragement.

"Make her see what she already knows.”

——

“Welcome Home!”

Gwen had opened the door to the home, expecting to run inside to find her cowboy, but before the door was even completely opened she realized hoards of people exclaiming the greeting at her as noisemakers blared, and she stood there, stunned. Her hand came over her mouth in shock as she started laughing, her eyes catching on various kids running around and back into the living room, and she was having a moment of trouble even processing what was happening. Her eyes fell on her parents, and she saw Mariel out of the corner of her eye before Blake moved forward from the crowd and picked her up, kissing her and twirling her around.

“Oh my god!” she exclaimed once her feet touched the ground again, her cheek snuggling against his broad chest as a handful of people moved forward to give her hugs. “Oh my god!” was all she could say again, laughing as Todd gave her a hug and then let her go, and then Blake’s mom moved forward to hug her, with Endy right behind her.

“Blake!” she said, gesturing to his mom and Endy, then to her parents. “Blake, you brought our families together?” It was enough to get her emotional, she was so overwhelmed. “What is this?”

“What kind of move would this be if we didn’t have a housewarming party?” he asked, coming up behind her and putting his arms around her in a hug. She heard a few subtle _awwww_ ’s as he showed her affection, which just melted her heart even more. 

“Welcome home, Gwen,” Adam said next, coming to hug her, with Behati hugging her right behind him. Then Mariel, then Pharrell, then someone she didn’t recognize. And then she saw Jen again, and it hit her.

“You were in on this!” she exclaimed, which caused her sister in law to start laughing.

“It’s impossible to say no to Blake,” she retorted. 

Gwen reached for him then, tugging him next to her and squeezing his hand. “I can’t say no to him either,” she said, rolling her eyes playfully. Blake caught a glimpse of Mariel nearby, obviously having heard what she said, and shot Blake a look. He had to look away to avoid his cheeks reddening. 

“Do you want a glass of wine, baby?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” she said, and the two of them began making their way towards the kitchen. She stopped in her tracks when she saw the small table in the family room overflowing with housewarming gifts, and walked over to that instead. 

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this,” she said, turning to nobody in particular. “I’m so speechless right now.”

Blake came up behind her a few moments later, handing her a glass of wine which she sipped on immediately. Her arms went up around his neck, one hand being careful to keep the glass balanced as her other hand rested against the back of his neck. “I can’t believe you did all of this for me,” she said softly, with a huge smile on her face. “Like, our families are here together, our friends…how did you get them all here?”

“Mom and Endy were going to come along to a few of my west coast shows anyways,” he explained. “I wanted you to settle in first but it seemed like a good time to do this, just had to fly them out a little earlier.” 

Just then, a toddler came crashing into their legs, causing them both to laugh as Apollo’s angelic face stared straight up at him. Gwen moved her arms off of Blake and before she could set her wine glass down to scoop him up in her arms, Blake had already kneeled down to do so himself. 

“Daddy,” Apollo said, reaching forward for Blake’s hat that was resting on his head and snatching it off before Blake even had a chance to react. Apollo grinned at his accomplishment and put the oversized cap on top of his head lopsided, causing them to laugh. Apollo leaned forward in his arms and placed a kiss on Blake’s cheek without being prompted. Gwen watched it happen, feeling the air leaving her lungs in a good way. 

——

Before long, their living room was filled with people, family and friends doubling up on couches and chaises as everyone was eating, drinking, and laughing together. Gwen sat on Blake’s lap most of the night and they watched Apollo play with his cousins and other kids in attendance, truly enjoying the quality time they were able to have with the people that loved them the most. She almost had to force herself not to think about it, for fear that she’d start getting emotional again. 

She had slipped away discreetly when she saw Apollo’s droopy eyes and the beginning of him being fussy. Gwen picked her baby up into her arms and nudged Behati to let her know she was going to go put him down before beginning up the stairs. Blake and Todd had gone off, distracted in their own conversation about whatever it was that guys bonded over. She pushed back the door into Apollo’s room and laid him gently on the bed, taking a seat next to him. He was whining, he was too tired to be awake, and she knew all of the excitement of the night certainly wasn’t helping. She could hear a subdued, dull roar of their guests below, and she felt thankful it wasn’t too chaotic and she could likely get him to sleep soon.

“Shhh…” she soothed him. Apollo rolled onto his stomach and Gwen gently rubbed his back, willing him to relax as she softly sang to him. He let out another groan but sighed deeply, his eyes finally closing. About fifteen minutes later, she was relatively sure he was sleeping, and she gently pulled her hand back and remained on the bed. 

It hit her then that she missed watching him sleep like this. It hit her even more as she felt the lump in the back of her throat, realizing how fast he was growing up and how crazy life had been. If it hadn’t been for the hallway light spilling into the room, she wouldn’t have even realized someone had opened his bedroom door.

“Gwen?” came Blake’s whisper. “Is he alright?”

She didn’t turn around to look at him immediately, her index fingers quickly went to swipe a few tears away from under her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, he’s fine, he was just exhausted,” she whispered in return with a nod, keeping her gaze on the little boy.

Blake made his way into the room and gently closed the door behind him, being gentle as he lowered himself to sit on the bed behind her. His hand grazed down her back and he looked a little concerned as her teary eyes met his. 

“Are _you_ alright?” he asked next. 

She let out a half chuckle as she smiled at him genuinely. “I just…” she shook her head, her eyes flashing to the ceiling briefly before looking back to him. “He’s getting so big. By the time I carried him to the top of the stairs I was straining to hold him still. He’s turning three next week. So basically, a few weeks after that, he’ll be heading off to prom.” Blake offered her a smile as his hand stroked her hair back. “And sometimes it’s just overwhelming, how amazing everything is. How amazing _you_ are. Sometimes I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, something awful like god, I don’t know, Apollo growing up to hate me and turn out to be exactly like his father.” She rolled her eyes at the prospect. His arms went around her and tugged her into his lap. 

“We won’t let that happen,” he whispered against her ear, and he felt her relax a bit against him. “Did you hurt your back again?”

“Shoulder,” she mumbled quietly.

He repositioned her slightly in his lap. Her head went against his chest and his hand gently began massaging her shoulder. “He has gotten big, even just in the time I’ve know him.” Both of their gazes were fixated on a sleeping Apollo as he continued. “You’ve done an incredible job raising him, Gwen, he couldn’t hate you. I hate that you have insecurities about that, because you have no idea how good you really are.” He paused, before continuing. “And he’s not allowed to date, or go to prom, until I know he knows how to treat a girl right.”

Her back straightened as she pressed her lips against his, her palm resting against his neck as she took him in. Gwen pulled back a little and locked eyes with him. “You really think you want to deal with my emotional crazy for another thirteen years to get to that point?”

“Mmm…” he responded, pretending to think about it for a moment. “I think I’m pretty good these days about bringing you back to reality.” He pecked a kiss on her cheek and offered her a grin, which caused her to let out a singular chuckle. 

“You are,” she whispered in agreement. 

“Feel better?” he asked, his eyes going over her. 

“In so many ways,” she said, nodding profusely. He kissed her softly. Their lips parted only a moment before Gwen moved back, kissing him deeply again. 

“As much as I’m so touched that you arranged all of our family and friends to get together for this party, I really wish they would all just go away right now.”

He grinned and kissed her again, resting his forehead against hers. “I promise to have my way with you tonight. Not plannin’ on leaving you high and dry.”

“Blake, _please_ , I haven’t been _dry_ since I met you.”

Her dirty talk made him tighten in his jeans. He let out a deep breath as his hands clenched tightly to her sides. He watched her smile up at him and bite her lip, which always made something stir deep in the pit of his stomach. 

“We should go, right now, before I’m physically unable to force myself back down the stairs,” he warned. He wanted her in their bedroom so badly in that moment, and it was taking all of his willpower to redirect them back to their guests. 

Gwen placed a few quick, small kisses over his face before hopping to stand up, taking both of his hands in hers and pulling him to stand next. His hands rested on her shoulders as they moved quietly out of the room, closing the door, then making their way back downstairs.


	60. Engaged

The last few weeks had been a special kind of hell. 

Adjusting to Blake coming and going on tour had been difficult, a lot harder than she had imagined as she found herself missing him so badly. More than she had missed him in the past, more than she had ever missed anyone else. When he was able to pop back to LA for a few days here and there it was like inhaling oxygen for the first time in days, sex was rougher, needier, she was clingier than normal because she didn’t want the inevitable to happen where he would have to leave again for a little while. He didn’t seem to mind, though, mostly because he felt the same way, he didn’t want to be separated from Gwen when they had the opportunity to be together. 

When he wasn’t at home, she threw herself into work and spending time with Apollo. Work was a distraction during the day, and even though it was hard when Apollo asked about Blake at night, spending time with him did her so much good. It helped her not mope around as much to focus on him. She knew Blake wasn’t gone forever, and she was truly surprised over how much she could miss one person. Gwen didn’t remember how they ever even lived apart at one point, it seemed inconceivable now. 

Blake had been gone for almost a full week this time, and the only thing that kept her in good spirits was the fact that she was packing to head to the airport with Apollo to go and see him in Atlanta. She and Lizzy had face timed that morning to plan details once she arrived, and she was honestly so excited to see her again and be reunited with her cowboy at the same time. It was towards the end of his tour, and selfishly, she couldn’t have been happier. She knew how much Blake enjoyed his shows but she was looking forward to spending a few lazy days at home once it was all over, just their family. 

The plane ride felt like it took hours more than it actually had, but they always did when she was anticipating seeing Blake. Apollo slept most of the way against Gwen’s chest, and Gwen spent most of the flight snoozing or watching out the airplane window. She hadn’t missed these flights, but she just felt so blessed that she was able to go and see him. Once they landed, she felt butterflies in her stomach as a smile came to her face, her eyes focused out the window as she saw the executive terminal that she had spent so much time in. It felt like a lifetime ago, even though it wasn’t, and there was something oddly comforting about being there again. She was back where it all started.

Gwen let out a breath as the plane taxied towards the terminal, catching sight of that tall cowboy waiting for them. It was a view she’d never tire of, and he still had the same effect on her even after all this time.

“Look bubs, it’s Blakey,” Gwen whispered to a half awake Apollo, pointing out the window. The toddler perked up a little bit and grinned, waving to him even though Gwen knew Blake probably couldn’t see them. The plane came to a stop and Apollo hopped up, barreling towards the door before it was even opened by the flight crew, which made Gwen giggle a bit. Gwen stood and stretched for a moment, collecting a few things, and nudging Taylor awake who soon stood and began collecting things, too. Once Gwen came up next to Apollo to hold his hand they opened the door and wheeled the stairs over to the plane, and they descended towards him. 

Blake scooped down to pull Apollo up into his arms and immediately sandwiched him in between him and Gwen, holding both of them for a few moments. Gwen’s arms tightened around Blake as she inhaled, taking in his scent. She really had missed him.

“This brings back memories,” she said softly, her head resting against his chest. Blake hummed in response, not letting them go. 

“I missed you guys so much,” Blake said genuinely. 

“God, you have no idea how much we missed you,” she said immediately with a laugh, turning to look up at him with a smile. She pressed onto her toes and her lips brushed his. “Can you believe we used to do this every week? It’s so crazy. I know it wasn’t that long ago but it feels like it.”

“No, it’s hard to imagine that again,” he replied. He kept one arm around her as he stepped out of their embrace, kissing the top of her head. They both began walking towards the escalade, climbing in the back. After getting Apollo situated and buckled in to his car seat, Gwen settled against Blake, just holding onto him. 

“What’s on the agenda today?” she asked.

“Well, I figured we could just head over to the venue. We’ll have some downtime before I have to do anything…we can get lunch ordered in, if you’re hungry?”

“Sounds perfect,” she said. “Sorry, the plane made me a little sleepy. And I’m just enjoying being with you again.”

“Babe, if you’re tired, we can take you back to the hotel,” he offered. 

“I haven’t seen you in a week, I’m not going to a hotel to sleep by myself.”

Blake smiled a bit. “Okay,” he agreed.

The rest of the afternoon was easy, uncomplicated. They ordered lunch in and spent time relaxing before Blake had to go out to do soundcheck. Gwen and Apollo watched him from the side of the stage, the toddler always so fascinated with Blake’s guitars, making Gwen smile. She was excited to see him perform again, she always loved watching him on stage and how much he enjoyed it. Blake seemed a little inside of his head as the night wore on and they were getting closer to the start of the show. 

“You alright?” Gwen asked, nudging at him a bit from the side. She saw Blake let out a sigh, smiling down at her as his arm went around her shoulders. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he brushed it off, even though she knew something was a little off with him. Instead of bringing it up again, she slid her arms around his waist, letting her head lean against him.

“You’re going to be amazing,” she reassured him softly. “I’m so excited to see you perform again. It never gets old.”

“Really?” he mumbled as his hand tightened against his shoulder. 

She turned her attention up to him and smiled, pressing onto her toes and kissing him softly.

“You’re incredible,” she breathed. “I have no idea how you do this all the time, how you’ve always dealt with large crowds and cameras and rumors. You handle so much because of your job, not to mention everything you do for me and Apollo. Don’t ever doubt yourself, okay?”

It was exactly what he needed to hear, but not for the reasons Gwen was thinking. He wasn’t going to doubt himself, he had made it this far and everything was set in place. He had finished arranging things right in front of Gwen’s eyes without her knowledge, and the nerves were rising simply because time had to pass. It was the perfect moment he had in mind, crafted through meticulous planning and attention to detail. 

Now all he needed was for her to say _yes_.

——

The beginning chords of the banjo and guitar struck into the air as Blake had began his setlist, the fans in the crowd going wild and waving their beers in the air along with the lyrics. 

Gwen found herself mesmerized, song after song as she sang along the words she knew, swaying Apollo in her arms as he kept his little hands over the headphones on his ears for protection. Time felt like no constraint as she lost sense of it, though occasionally she was brought back to reality as Lizzy belted out the lyrics next to her a bit louder when it got to songs she particularly enjoyed. She had missed her so much more than she had realized, and she felt so lucky to get to spend this time with her. 

In between songs, Blake glanced back to look at Gwen, giving her a knowing smile as the beginning of _Sangria_ played. She instantly had a flashback to the first time he sang that song to her - she was frozen, staring at him from the front row, and he couldn’t even be bothered to pretend to try to look away. There was something so deep and passionate about the way he sang that song to her, and it held a special place in her heart because that was part of how they began. She smiled and let out a content sigh, her eyes locked on Blake as he turned to sing a few of the lines to her directly, before turning back to the roaring crowd. 

_Only thing I want to do tonight_  
_Is drink you like a Spanish wine_  
_Let you let this head of mine keep spinning, spinning around_

The applause picked up and the crowd roared again, the lights falling as the instruments ended. Blake walked off to the opposite side of the stage, taking a swig back of water, setting the bottle back down right before the lights came back up. He mumbled into the microphone a bit, and walked out towards the center stage. 

“So, last year I played this venue for one of those country festivals,” he began into the microphone, and for some reason, Gwen felt herself tense up a bit. “There was this girl, you see. Platinum blonde hair, gorgeous smile…she was standing in the front row and there was just something about her that was special.” Blake glanced to Gwen on the side of the stage and she felt her cheeks flush, returning a shy smile towards him. He looked back to the crowd. “She doesn’t know this, but I invented some lame excuse to pull her on stage that night and dance with her, because I couldn’t stop looking at her. It wasn’t part of my set list. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn’t, cause ya know, I was in the middle of playing a concert, so I guess you could say it’s the only thing I could think of in that moment. I had no idea then that I had just met the love of my life.”

The crowd gave a collective _awwww_ and Gwen felt herself smiling shyly, even though she was close to getting emotional. 

“She’s actually here tonight with me, and I think it’s only proper that she comes out to dance with me on stage again.”

The crowd erupted and cheered as Blake turned towards Gwen who was still off to the side of the stage. She looked shocked and started laughing, shaking her head, not thinking that he was being serious. He took a few steps towards her and held out his hand, and the world disappeared around her. Lizzy took Apollo out of her arms and Gwen moved forward, reaching out for his hand and giving him a confused look, really having no idea where any of this was going. She let him pull her to center stage, and he spoke into the microphone again.

“Now, I have gotten better at this since I started datin’ her,” he announced, which caused them both to laugh. Blake looked back to the band and nodded, and they immediately went into playing a familiar tune, but not one that Gwen placed immediately. Still giving him a bit of a confused look, she slid her arms up around his neck as his went to the small of her back, and they began to slowly sway to the music. 

She laughed a little, watching him smile hugely at her, and it seemed to be only the two of them in those moments. She suddenly heard her name being shouted, the voice sounded like her mother’s as she wrinkled her face in confusion and looked behind them. There, blown up on the backdrop of the stage, her entire family was on Skype - her parents, Todd and his family, cousins, and she even saw Mariel and a few of her other friends there as well.

“Blake, what’s going on?!” she asked into his ear, trying to speak above all of the noise. It was then that she looked behind Blake, to the other side of the stage, where she saw Blake’s mom, sister, and her family standing, waving at her with huge smiles on their faces. Meanwhile, Gwen’s family was still projected on the big screen and she turned to face them, waving up at them and laughing, still very confused about what was going on. Blake let her go, and she took a step towards them on the screen, but realized they probably couldn’t hear her. She caught Todd in the corner, motioning for her to turn around, and it took her a second to comprehend but she did.

Her stomach did a flip and her body tensed in shock as she saw Blake on one knee, holding a diamond ring out to her, a big, nervous smile on his face.

The tears came immediately, she couldn’t stop them. Her hands went over her mouth and Blake started laughing, he wasn’t sure if it was happiness, nerves, or both. She inhaled sharply, taking in a breath. She felt a hand on her back and she turned quickly to see Lizzy standing next to her, hand in hand with Apollo before handing the toddler off to her. She stood there in shock, Apollo’s little hand squeezing Gwen’s as he stood next to her.

“Something else that Gwen didn’t know about tonight is that this concert wasn’t on my original tour list,” Blake explained, his eyes locking into hers. “I had them add this as a charity concert, because not only did I want to do something good for the organization we’re sponsoring tonight, but I wanted to do this back where we started. And I wanted all of our family here, and all of our friends here, to witness. She asked me a few weeks ago if I really wanted to stick around for a long time, to watch Apollo…” …he reached out with his free hand, taking the toddler’s other hand into his own, connecting the three of them…”…grow up, to build a life together, a family together, and I told her that was all I ever wanted. I want to be around for the rest of our lives and love you both as long as you’ll let me.”

Blake took a breath in - this was his moment. Gwen was in tears, unable to contain herself as she felt it coming.

“Gwen Renee Stefani,” he began. “Would you do me the honor to be my wife, and allow me to be Apollo’s dad?”

She broke down crying at that point as he watched her, a huge grin on his face, expectantly. Gwen started nodding profusely, unable to get any words out as he slipped the diamond ring on her finger, stood up, and she was buried in his chest, holding him tightly. Blake bent for a moment to pull Apollo up in between them, and the three of them embraced in a tight hug.

Gwen started laughing through her tears as the noises around her came back to her, hearing her family cheering in the background on the Skype call. Her eyes caught onto Blake’s family on the side of the stage jumping up and down and hugging, and a few moments later, they joined the three of them on the stage and they were all hugging. Lizzy came back, excitedly squealing and jumping and congratulating her friend while ruffling Apollo’s hair back. The crowd was going nuts, and Blake’s arm just came back around her as she pressed onto her toes and kissed him deeply, not caring that they were on stage or in front of a ton of people. He kissed her back quite passionately, her body melting into his as she held onto him tightly, still in shock over it all. Two confetti cannons went off and released confetti over both the stage and the crowd, but the two of them barely noticed anything else was going on in that moment - they were just focused on each other. 

“I think she said yes, y’all,” Blake muttered into the microphone, which caused everyone to erupt into laughter all over again. “And thank God, because I can’t live without this woman.”

Gwen gave him such a genuine smile as she wiped at her tears, inhaling sharply again and smiling through them. Blake kept his arms holding her as she sniffled a bit against him, unwilling to let him go. 

“I think we’re going to need a few minutes, y’all, we’ll be right back,” Blake mumbled into the microphone, and walked Gwen off to the side of the stage. Blake walked back a bit to get away from the noise of the band that was picking up the entertainment for a moment, taking a seat on a bench and pulling her to sit in his lap.

“Are you mad? I didn’t want to put you on the spot or anything…”

Gwen shook her head. “Are you kidding? Blake, how could I be mad?” Her hands rested on each of his cheeks as she leaned her forehead against his, closing her eyes. “God, Blake, I love you so much. I can’t….I can’t believe this is real right now.” She sat up straight a bit, pushing the tears back and giving him a smile, sitting next to him. “Hey, I’m okay, really. Go back and finish your show, and we’ll have all night to be together.”

He kissed her deeply, his hands gripping her hips tightly before letting her go. “I love you too, baby. I promise, I’ll sing really fast.” Gwen chuckled a little before pecking another quick kiss on his lips, encouraging him to go back to the stage.

——

Gwen was sitting on the couch in the empty dressing room facing away from the door. The diamond ring was fiddling between her fingers as she stared at it, still not fully comprehending the events of the evening. Taylor had taken Apollo back to the hotel to be put to bed for the night, and it was a rare opportunity she was getting with Blake to have some time alone together. He had finished the show and had to finish up a few things on the side and she told him she’d wait for him here. And so she sat. Consequently, she also started spiraling down into the insecurity rabbit hole. By the time she heard the door open and Blake’s boots against the tile, she was a little too far gone to pull herself out of it. The silence in the room was off, he felt that much, as he slowly closed the door behind him and made his way over to Gwen.

He watched her stare at the ring, and didn’t acknowledge his presence until he was standing up right beside her, a quick glance in his direction before her attention went back to the ring. Blake took a few moments to craft his words, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

“Did I ask too soon?”

The insecurity in his small voice was enough to gut her. A worried expression painted on her face as she looked up at him, almost horrified that he thought that.

She hesitated. “…No…” was all she could manage, but she was wrestling with her words, and that much was obvious. He took a seat next to her, draping his arm across the back of the couch, but keeping a little bit of distance. He didn’t want her to feel trapped, and he was still gradually trying to pry. 

“Something is going through that pretty head of yours,” he mused. “Talk to me, baby. Let me help.” His hand stroked the back of her hair gently, and silence fell between them for a few moments.

A hoarse, barely audible voice responded. “What if…what if I don’t know how to be a wife?” She kept her gaze on the ring, not daring to look at him. 

Blake let out a small chuckle. “Baby, you’ve been a wife before,” he reminded her gently.

His face fell when Gwen’s tear filled eyes looked up to him, searching for something, almost looking hurt. Confused. “That’s not the same thing, Blake.” She blinked and a tear streamed quickly down her cheek and she sniffled.

“Come here,” he said, inviting her onto his lap, making sure to let it be on her terms. Her eyes flashed up to his and she hesitated, but eventually moved so that she was sitting on top of him, ring perched between her fingers as she held it out in front of them both. Her head leaned back against his shoulder, his arms came around her, and he let the silence take them for a moment. 

“There is nothing you have to do more than what you are already doing right now, honey,” he spoke into her ear. “We have already started building a life together. You are kind. You are patient. You take care of me and support me in ways I’ve never been cared for and supported before. You gave me the opportunity to love Apollo, to be a dad to him, and maybe even to someone else someday. You’ve made a commitment to me; and I’ve made one to you. Do you agree with that?”

“Yes,” she nodded, hanging onto his every word. 

“We’ve already done the hard part. This ring…our marriage…it’s just reciting that promise and putting it on paper. It’s symbolic, because baby, we’ve already made the promises to one another.”

Gwen let out a breath and her eyes closed. “But I must not have been a good wife last time, I had to have done something wrong,” she protested. “Because he ended up hating me in the end, resenting me, and Blake, I couldn’t handle it if that happens to us but like…I just don’t know what I did or didn’t do.”

“Gwen, I don’t pretend to know anything about your relationship with that asshole, but I know for a fact that it falling apart was nothing to do with you.”

“It’s so unfair that I just said that,” she backtracked a bit. 

“No, that was you keeping a promise to me that you would always talk to me about what you were feeling. Just because it’s insecurity doesn’t make it any less important.”

Gwen slid the ring back on her ring finger and let out a breath. She turned in his lap and faced him, letting her hands rest on his chest as she looked up at him. “One more chance. Are you _really_ sure?”

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “You’re stuck with me, babe,” he reassured her, and she giggled right before his lips were covering hers, passionately kissing her last insecurity away. 

——

__

_The night we got engaged was incredible._

_Not only because of the grand proposal that he pulled off, but the fact that we were able to have the entire night alone, uninterrupted, was such a gift. We started out making love slow and passionately to the background of candlelight and soft music and somehow found the energy late into the night to get a little rougher, collapsing somewhere around sunrise by the time all was said and done._

_The news broke to the media immediately, it was a very public proposal, and Blake’s manager received in dozens of interview requests. The morning talk shows were going off about it the next morning, supposedly, but we were still lazily in bed together, limbs intertwined, planting small, sweet kisses on each others skin, we couldn’t be bothered to turn on the radio that morning. When we got back to LA we were constantly bothered on the street, more than usual, as the reporters fired opinions off at us that we got engaged super quick and they wanted to know why. Blake would just smile, nod, look me in the eyes as he told them that old adage - when you know, you know._

_We didn’t want to wait after that. I wasn’t interested in planning a huge expensive wedding, I just needed Blake to be my husband. We agreed on the small and intimate direction of taking a trip up to San Francisco and eloping at the courthouse, one of the most gorgeous courthouses in the country, bringing only Apollo in a small tux and a photographer along as witnesses. It was a beautiful, private ceremony and we celebrated as a family of three - well, four, technically, as the day before we left, I announced to Blake that I was pregnant._

_Before I told Blake, I made sure to take ten pregnancy tests and see the doctor for confirmation to make sure it was real, because I couldn’t handle breaking his heart again. I know how badly he wanted a bigger family with us, and the look on his face when I told him was all worth it in the end, right before I ran off to the bathroom to throw up, further confirming the pregnancy for him. He did everything for me those next few weeks, and I mean everything - the only thing he didn’t do was carry me everywhere, but I know if I would have asked, he would have done it, no question. It was a high risk pregnancy and he was so determined to make sure I was comfortable and relaxed, even if all of the attention was driving me slightly crazy at some points as my hormones surged. He was a trooper. He drove to three stores to get me a specific ice cream late at night, let me toss and turn and readjust him on the bed until I was comfortable, he’d give me shoulder massages when I couldn’t relax, he took on more Apollo duty when I felt overwhelmed and couldn’t handle both myself and him._

_We both made it through that pregnancy in tact, but the real hardship began after our beautiful baby girl, named Georgia, was born. I started to feel a negative change within myself; constantly feeling guilty and overwhelmed, disconnected in those earlier days once we got home and began to try and establish a routine. I had no appetite and I could barely sleep, this was so different than when I had Apollo and I felt so ashamed of how I felt. There were times I even thought I was never going to get a handle on having two kids, that it was all too much and I made a mistake. I was going through the motions, I had this dreadful feeling that the dread I felt was never going to end. It took me a month to get to my breaking point of postpartum depression, concealing these feelings from Blake before I eventually called him and broke down and confessed everything. He came home immediately, took time off and stayed home with us, which I felt even more guilty about, but he assured me that we had to come first in his life and I came to terms with that. I got through that because of him, and him alone._

_Sometime soon after the wedding, we filed the papers for Blake to officially adopt Apollo. Even though he was still young and didn’t fully understand, he seemed to feel that something big was happening but it honestly didn’t make any difference. Blake had always been Apollo’s dad, and even though we had the piece of paper to prove it then, it wasn’t any more true than it had been before. Just like our marriage certificate was just a ceremonious gesture of a promise we had already made, so were the adoption documents._

_Apollo is in Kindergarten now, and Georgia just turned two. It’s crazy to think that our daughter is the same age as Apollo was when we met Blake, how fast life has already gone by and how quickly it changed for us off of a chance meeting one night at a concert I wasn’t supposed to be at. Despite Blake’s fame, we actually have a pretty normal life - superhero birthday parties, play dates at the toddler gym, family dinners at my parents house on Sundays after church. The amount of love that cowboy has for me and our children never ceases to amaze me, and all I can hope is that I love him half as much as the love he shows for me._

_Above all, I’m mostly thankful for one thing. I thank God every day that he kept Georgia on Blake’s mind._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has supported this story. Your comments, love, and feedback have really shaped this into what it has become.
> 
> A really special shout out to Brie, once again, because I would be nothing without her, and she has been the number one supporter of me and this story from day one and I can't thank her enough. 
> 
> <3
> 
> xoelectric


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